I'm REFUSING To Be Adopted To Make Everyone Happy, Although My Siblings Have AITA

[@owl7072]

Story 1: Did the dad really just say OP isn't part of the "official family unit" because she doesn't want to be adopted by his new wife? Sir that's your CHILD, she's part of the "official family unit" whether your wife adopts her or not. He basically implied OP isn't actually family unless she let's the wife adopt her. 🚶🏻‍♂️

[@totitolchick2357]

That's what I thought!

[@bobbyjay205]

i see what you're saying but, i didn't take it that way. They were talking to the therapist and discussing whether or not she might feel like she's an outsider. And the "official family unit," legally speaking, is now Dad, Mom and the adopted kids. She is still part of the Dad's and birth sibling family "legally" but she will always be step-relative to the others.

[@carg0_b00m]

@@bobbyjay205 yeah, the dad was talking about the official family with step mom not just with dad.

[@jessedunn254]

so you caught dad's projections too. he was holding back his real feelings that His kid isn't real family. och....

[@KCCAT5]

I think the father misspoke I think the word he was looking for is part of the family unit as a collective.

[@ElfmaidOfMirkwood]

I almost think the sister told their dad that the boyfriend is trans because she thought she'd get the entire flat to herself while OP and her boyfriend got kicked out and cut off, not expecting her dad to pull a "you lied to me too"because she obviously should have realized the boyfriend was trans somehow.

[@pippo17173]

That be really fucking hilarious if that is the truth.

[@isiaadiel3468]

That would be absolute karmic justice

[@GothKatt]

Or, she could have just told someone who then told Dad, or who relayed it to someone who told Dad or who started a "grapevine gossip" that reached Dad. Sorry to burst your bubble; but there's a 50/50 on that chance of betrayal. It could have gone either way.

[@pippo17173]

@@GothKatt Its still a betrayal and karma for not knowing that saying it will come back to bite her in the ass.

[@GothKatt]

@@pippo17173 I'd say the 75/25 demand was more direct betrayal than anything else.

[@Mewse1203]

That 3rd story is HORRIBLE. OP absolutely needs to call. There is strict and there is ABUSE. This is abuse. Can't even have Christmas? Fuck that. Also, why would he get 50/50 of a 16 year old because they have CHOICE and his abuse would work against her. Dude is going way overboard. He is neglecting her medical needs since her doctor recommended meds and he went UBER strict. And don't get me started on the lack of privacy, entertainment options, and lack of contact. Lack of contact IS abusive and detrimental to development.

[@WatsonAndDaughter]

This. The OP's sister is a weak person. What the fuck happens when niece leaves and the husband turns his wrath on the other children? Parents who can't stand up for their kids are pathetic. I would lose my MIND if that was my niece.

[@niueansaiyan09]

I think OPs sister is the asshole as well since she is enabling her husband's strict routine on his daughter. Expect that the daughter will leave at the age of 18 and go no contact with the father for potentially isolating her for study time. Fuck the BIL and honestly, CPS won't help since they will just give Emma to another family member who will in turn just give Emma back to her dad.

[@niueansaiyan09]

@@WatsonAndDaughter Exactly. Expect no contact from both of them, and the dad is going to question "why are my children not wanting to talk to me"? Maybe its because you became a helicopter parent.

[@Nevir202]

If you think CPS is going to do anything about this, you’ve never dealt with CPS before. Some friends of my sisters were taken away from their drug addict mother, and since a few of the girls had Native American fathers, they were split up from their siblings and put with Native American foster parents. They barely let them go to school and told them they didn’t need any extracurricular activities, because in the end, “all they were good for was making babies.” On the other end of the scale, when they were called on my other sister’s friend some years later, the agent harassed her about, “Why is there a sock here on the floor?” as if it were a crack pipe. It was a sock her toddler pulled off his foot and threw on the floor WHILE THEY WERE CHATTING. CPS is worse than useless.

[@Mewse1203]

@@Nevir202 it depends on where they are. Some CPS are beyond useless and some are not.

[@kaym1040]

Story 1; You can’t force family. She doesn’t want step mom to be her official mom and it’s not like she got to pick. Dad falling in love doesn’t mean his kids are all just gonna jump on and want to replace their mom. She was old enough to remember her mom and she isn’t looking for a replacement. Good on the therapist.

[@t.matthies3049]

Based on what OP said, it sounds like the stepmom's otherwise a lovely person, but I find it infuriating the she is disrespecting OP's boundaries and trying to force something that shouldn't be forced. Parenting is about what's best for the child, not for the adult (whatever kind of parent you may be). OP doesn't want their biological mother who died erased from their identity. The stepmom needs to grow up and recognize it's not about her.

[@ilbercgross4736]

No one is wrong here. Their issues are emotional. OP feels one way and stepmom plus dad feel another. Stepmom feels like she has failed somehow. Dad feels like he needs to bring the family together. OP feels like being adopted will erase her bio-mom. I am getting impression of malice from any party here. The therapy move in hopes OP would tell them how stepmom messed up.

[@mikimishisa]

​@Ilberc Gross They are wrong though. Like if my mom remarried and he wanted me to be his adopted daughter I'd be fine but my older siblings remember our dad and had him till they were teens so they wouldn't want it.

[@thecoolgrandma7208]

OP is NTA. Just tell your Dad and Stepmother, that she is a great maternal figure. But that you still remember your bio mother and do not want to erase her just to make them happy. They should be happy with the fact that you accept her as your stepmother and have bonded with her as such and not push for more as that could potentially push you away instead. As long as the adoption is the only thing that you are not accepting of, that you accepted/welcomed her and her kids into the family they shouldn't think that something is wrong.

[@Darkwolfpocco]

#4 if you can get what someone is selling cheaper do it, NTA for telling people where to get the shit cheaper, YTA for calling her business a scam.

[@carolinem.5044]

Well said.

[@yahyashabazz5721]

Nah, She is the total AH. From the post itself you can see it came from a hateful place with OP, if it was just about hey you can get it cheaper, but I don't think that was anywhere near her reasons.

[@jesterbrown90]

Story 2: NTA. She screwed herself over when she told SOMEONE about your bf. Story 3: NTA. The home is already broken. CPS probably won't help, but you can help her escape once she's an adult. Meet her wherever you can and tell her you have a room for her once her parents can't hold her anymore.

[@babybookworm003]

In story 3 cps won’t help in removing the teen but Emma’s mom could divorce her dad and use the cps report as evidence to help her get full custody

[@scousemouse9566]

That poor 16 year old, she needs help fast, her dad is her prison keeper

[@ninaabbel938]

That third story: they are setting that kid up for failure. As soon as she is out of the house she will cut contact and screw up her live.

[@atinyevil1383]

Idk if she’d screw up her life, but she’d definitely cut contact.

[@WatsonAndDaughter]

@@atinyevil1383 OP should have told their sister that. Is the potential of losing your kids half the time until they're 18 really worth losing your oldest forever? I was so angry just reading that, ugh. There's no way that abusive bastard would get 50/50 custody, either, where the hell did she get that idea?

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

@@WatsonAndDaughter I think she knows she wouldn't lose custody, but she needed an excuse to justify why she doesn't *want* to leave. The fact that BIL treats the boys like humans, and is dehumanizing the pubescent daughter and discounting the mother, feels sinister to me. All the shit he's doing is the same shit the military does in boot camp in order to break you down and remake you in the image they want. And if that process only takes 3 months for grown people, just imagine the toll 2+ years can have on a solitary girl who feels like she has no one and nowhere to go to for help. The best thing OP could do for Emma would be to get a Guardian Ad Litem for her and begin the emancipation process for her. Help extricate her from BIL and get Emma into OP's home. Yes, it will cause a family rift, but any family that chooses BIL is not family I'd want anyhow.

[@Davtwan]

@@atinyevil1383 - Very likely will unfortunately. I see two negative yet likely outcomes: - She’ll party hard to “catch up” what she missed out on, leading to trouble due to her lack of social awareness. - She’ll end up taking no risks that are very social as she is effectively unable to be comfortable beyond basic communication. Job interviews, thesis-paper presentations, requesting a raise, asking someone out for a coffee date. These will now be much more difficult for her to learn and perform. Her only chance is to get therapy as soon as she gets out of that house. She has a lot of catching up to do on how to function in a society. All that academic knowledge is useless without social knowledge to back it up.

[@atinyevil1383]

@@Davtwan I mean, I had a similar situation where I never went out in high school and had to do hours more of schoolwork than my peers because of my own learning disability and I’m fine so far. I didn’t have my father taking away my computer or tv time, but I didn’ have a phone to talk to people on, if I wasn’t’ on my laptop, I couldn’t talk to anyone, and the only person I could talk to was my dad. So it’s not terribly different.

[@lee5527]

Story 3 terrified me. I have ADHD so hearing how that poor girl was treated was awful to hear. NTA NTA NTA!!!

[@caityjayde96]

Absolutely, NTA. I wouldn't be surprised if she develops PTSD from how her Dad's treating her. Grades aren't everything. Managing her ADHD should also include protecting her mental health, which her dad is failing miserably to do.

[@mandyrobbins1041]

Agreed completely. My mom has, and brother HAD ADHD. Also, removing caffeine is probably not helping the grades for Emma. Caffeine calms and focuses for those with ADHD. Give her coffee or Coca-cola or some caffeinated beverage before the subjects she struggles with: I guarantee her grades will go up! Because she has the calming and focusing effect of the Caffeine! Have they done no research on how Caffeine effects those with ADHD?

[@tegantalks9612]

As a parent I agree! My son may have a learning disability and I am following the advice of experts. Right now he’s just in speech therapy and I keep in touch with early childhood development in regards to his progress. If they told me he needed medication I would be getting him the damn medicine and I would bring it up with the doctor if I had concerns. BIL is straight up abusive and I hate him.

[@emmahenrysoprano1253]

I was screaming too. That poor girl needs stuff to relax her brain. She doesn't discipline; she needs to learn how to manage her condition properly. That's it. Poor girl. I want to give her a huge, huge hug.

[@bobbyjay205]

If he did all this research into diet and routine you would think he would have found very simple study techniques that aren't so grueling. My friend was told to make his daughter study and do homework standing on one foot. The idea is the mind is already focused on a difficult task so her mind wouldn't wander while doing her work. It worked for her. It is also very common that people who excel in English & History usually don't do as well in STEM. What a D-bag.

[@ECampbell947]

Story 4: Well if she said that the cases were handmade & original then yes it would have been a scam, but it doesn't say that. Therefore, I can only guess that she is going through the proper channels to obtain these cases for resale...

[@sws212]

All she's doing is hustling, nothing wrong with her trying to make some money but also nothing wrong with her being called out on it. That's how business work.

[@susankaempfer8427]

Sounds like standard retail to me 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@ShatoraDragondore]

Story 3: BIL is being abusive and took things way way to far in the name of not letting her have medication. Sister is horrid for putting her other 2 children before her older one because 16 and only will be home for 2 more years so she should suck it up and stuffer a regime prisoners' aren't event subjected to

[@WatsonAndDaughter]

Yes. OP's sister is pathetic. I would lose my mind if that was my sibling and my niece.

[@DecoyMcClary]

I don't know how legal it is but can't niece come live with Op?

[@ShatoraDragondore]

@@DecoyMcClary given how controlling the BIL is I doubt it would be with out a fight. Hearing that BIL takes the computer right after lessons I'd tell the daughter to just scream abuse and blurt it all out at the start of the class to get help

[@Davtwan]

Beth Goldstein - There’s a term when someone isolates an adult family member from all social activity. It’s called domestic abuse. If it’s not okay for an adult, then it definitely isn’t okay for a teenager.

[@Davtwan]

@@WatsonAndDaughter - I didn’t want to admit it, but she really is. She seriously doesn’t think she can get more than 50/50 custody? She needs to pull up her pants and start building a case by documenting everything. Unless she’s comfortable with the idea of a high chance of having no future relationship with her daughter. Once her daughter realizes how much of a coward her mom was, it’s not likely she’ll stay in contact with her either let alone just her dad.

[@OfficialREVENGEMusic]

The way the little sister tries to blame all this on older sister and her boyfriend tells me that she absolutely ratted on her.

[@lightsidesoul]

Story 3: BIL is not helping his daughter, he's punishing her, and the worst part is that he's doing it because of an easily treatable medical condition that she can't control, because HE refuses to allow her to be medicated, so he's both punishing his daughter for his choice, and for something she can't control. That's like grounding an 8 year old because they drank soda after your water was cut off and you refuse to buy bottled because "it's bad for the environment."

[@dodiekoehler5256]

Grades are important but so is life! He's not letting her live. Good grades are not the be all and end all.

[@Mewse1203]

So she had a supplier and added a markup of 50%...and he thought "that's a scam" ? Wait until he hears about 1000% markup! Did he really think a soda costs $2 for .5 liter? Nah bro, literally every business marks up products. It's called margin and how you make money...

[@mbyerly9680]

The average mark-up on nicer furniture in the US is 600 to 1000%.

[@Mewse1203]

@@mbyerly9680 ) you ever live in Cortez?

[@carolinem.5044]

It's not a scam, her opinion is wrong but the OP isn't an asshole. If the clients finds the source, they can buy from the source (in most cases, in this case it applies.) That sucks for the girl but it is how it is.

[@lasagnalovingcat5335]

@@carolinem.5044 I agree with you that finding the source and sharing it is not an ahole move. However, I would say OP's intent would be a factor for whether or not they were the ahole. Doing it to hurt Jane is an ahole move, but you are 100% correct that simply finding the supplier and cutting out the middle man is not. The internet has caused a lot of resale businesses to go bust as customers could buy direct for less. I would also say OP is not the ahole if Jane was misrepresenting the items as "her designs" which she has produced on demand. That actually would be a scam, but that info is missing. Ultimately, I would have to say more info is needed.

[@carolinem.5044]

@@lasagnalovingcat5335 I can agree with that

[@DarkCrystalSage]

I'm calling sister's BS. She was asked not to tell the dad/family and then abracadabra the dad found out? Yeah No. She told someone, and she's trying to deflect saying "no no, I didn't tell!" she could have kept her damn mouth shut.

[@Littlefluffysatan]

Sis also referred to the situation as OP’s “problem” so I think there’s some judgment not just from dad.

[@innocentbystander72]

If the sister told the dad then he would not be pissed off at her also.

[@TsukiKageTora]

She’s the one who knows how their father is and she still opened her mouth and blamed OP for it. She made her bed and she must lie in it alone

[@pippo17173]

The only way that makes this look good on sister part is that the mom is more open to trans people but since gossip is too hard not to resist, just blab to everyone she knew. People need to know to stop saying shit that is secret because it always gets back and stab you in the back.

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@innocentbystander72 that means she told someone who relayed the information to her dad. Especially since OP mentioned how her boyfriend was in the closet and that he, OP and her sister are the only ones who knew. Unless OP’s boyfriend said something to her dad in a ploy to get them to move in with each other, it was her sister. But I think that scenario of OP’s boyfriend doing that sounds way too far fetched than OP’s sister telling their dad or someone who relayed the information back to their dad.

[@WolframKKM]

Story 3: There has to be some sort of legal recourse here, even if it isn't CPS. Like I'm thinking emancipation so the niece can make her own medical decisions and go live with OP without her father being able to stop her? Hell maybe a lawyer specialising in discrimination and disability because the niece is being abused on the basis of a medical condition and being denied medication as a treatment option.

[@immortalsofar5314]

CPS only get involved if the life is in danger. In the US, kids have no rights - they can't even have a bank account of their own that their parents don't have access to. I came across parents boasting that they'd taken everything away other than their child's bed and taken the door off the room as punishment, I met one girl with a crazy mother who had her institutionalised because, after 5 psychiatrists said there was nothing wrong with her but the Mom needed some visits, finally found one that would sign the papers. It's a very barbaric society.

[@susankaempfer8427]

It sucks. I want an update so bad.

[@ineedhoez]

In the u.s. discrimination is for employers or the government. Not a family member.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: OP's mom died and OP was old enough to remember her. It's different for her and she doesn't want to leave her memory behind. They shouldn't be making her feel bad about it. It has nothing to do with them, but with how she feels about her mom.

[@TheNormExperience]

Exactly. I’m most confused about why the adoption is a given in the father and stepmom’s mind? Any person approaching me like I have no say, choice, or option besides what they think is going to immediately turn me off, and I’m a full-grown adult, not a teenager. They’ve handled this kind of terribly...they gave her a choice, she made it. Just because they don’t like it doesn’t mean they get to try and work on her to change it, because that will ultimately do the opposite of what they want and alienate OP instead of bringing them closer together as a family. They’re just not Listening to OP - it sounds like OP absolutely considers her stepmother and step siblings family, not family once removed. She just doesn’t want to replace her mother on every document. That’s all...it’s a legal piece of paper...so why is this such a big deal to her parents? Why do they assume a different opinion means OP hates them? It sounds like they need the therapy, not OP.

[@musicallydisneyamvs6731]

Story 1.) As an adoptee OP, your not in the wrong here. I think OP’s family is looking too much into it. Slight assholes for focusing on their feelings more. Story 3.) This is abusive. Also her mental health is being ignored. Why isn’t that being discussed?

[@Studybyaims]

Hello fellow adoptee.

[@musicallydisneyamvs6731]

@@Studybyaims Hello 👋

[@JeremyCheuvront]

I was adopted and adopted six. Kids from foster care including some that were older. We always told the kids they did not have to call us dad or mom we gave them the option of our first names or a approved nickname. We had fostered them with the intent to adopt. Their last placement had not worked out. We found out that for 13 months they called their last placement by Mr. and Mrs. Blank. After two weeks the kids were calling us dad and mom. But we left it to be their choice and explained what makes a family family. Two weeks ago one of my daughters just had a daughter and naked her after her adoptive mom and Biological mom. We can’t erase the past or pretend it didn’t happen. While my views my differ from OP it doesn’t make hers any less valid or important she is definitely NTA but her dad and stepmom are approaching TA territory or passed the line.

[@musicallydisneyamvs6731]

@@JeremyCheuvront right exactly

[@ceciliacalvin9469]

Story 3: I would call CPS and just talk to them about the situation.

[@TheNormExperience]

The daughter’s school/teachers would be a good idea too because they might be able to talk to the parents without getting the Dad’s hackles up. He obviously views his daughter as too different to be allowed to make her own choices so he’s literally taken over her whole life...if CPS shows up it sounds like he’ll convince himself that was the daughter’s fault, not his, and retaliate with even stricter rules in reaction...

[@mariahramsey9211]

Story 2: NTA. The sister is in the wrong. She wasn't willing to compromise when she put you all the situation to have the rent to change when she outed your boyfriend, whether directly or through the grapevine to the transphobe dad. To out someone is disrespectful and her reaction afterwards just cements that OP made the best decision to move in with BF.

[@samr4909]

U forget the fact that dad was paying for her bf to live there to and she was hiding it probably for religious reasons so he has right to know

[@mariahramsey9211]

@@samr4909 I get what you are saying, to an extent, but no one deserves to be outed against their will. The Dad can withdraw financial support for whatever reason, even this crappy and transphobic one. But at the end of the day, he only knew because the sister made a choice for someone else. The OP was prepared to deal with the fallout because the father only paid a portion of the rent, and it would be just an adjustment in budget. But the sister who created the problem, didn't want to pay anymore in rent and expected OP to pay the majority. Sister wanted to have no consequences. That's unrealistic.

[@samr4909]

@@mariahramsey9211 some people do tell that to the trans who don't tell guys or girls when first start dating he was paying for someone he against being tricked cuz daughter know didn't agree with it both of them are wrong

[@pickle_pup8187]

Story 3. Sister needs to contact the high school and report it to the guidance counselor

[@conckretangel]

As someone with ADHD, the lack of a social life will only make the symptoms worse. Being forced to focus only makes your mind wander more and get distracted more easily. The medication isn't fun, but the chances of someone who actually needs it getting addicted are lower than someone who doesn't need it. Not to mention you are taking low doses of the medication while people who are using it when they aren't prescribed it are not. I am not on medication now, but as a child I was cause it was the only way that I could do my school work. It sucks, but what OP's bil is doing is full on abuse. I doubt CPS would do anything cause, at least in my state, unless physical abuse is going on there isn't much that can be done with them.

[@allenwalkeranime7968]

That business one - I could feel the jealousy coming off in waves. Talking about the profit, how this girl came from upper-middle class, and either she was blind to how business works or just ignorant. Either way YTB

[@lasagnalovingcat5335]

I would say more info is needed before a judgment can be rendered. If Jane was saying they were "her designs" then she was committing fraud, and OP would not be the ahole. If OP simply found and shared her supplier's link with her friends as a "hey that stuff Jane sells is cheaper here", then that isn't an ahole move either. Lots of businesses go bust when customers find out that they can buy cheaper directly, and it's the nature of resale. However, if OP did this out of jealousy, then that would make OP the butthole. Not for sharing the "buy direct" info/link, but for targeting Jane's business maliciously. All in all, Jane sounds very enterprising, so I doubt this will be the end of her. She's mad now, but this experience is also a valuable business lesson on how easily a resale business can go bust as the internet can help a lot of people cut out the "middle man." It sucks, but if she's starting businesses this young, she has a bright future.

[@yahyashabazz5721]

@@lasagnalovingcat5335 well if Jane added design elements to them not really, most people who resell those types of items, add some personal touches to them: gem/rhinestones, paint designs.

[@alwayswondering127]

@@lasagnalovingcat5335 I think you’ve missed the part where op shared the link in a group chat labelling Jane’s business as a scam. It’s quite obvious that if you tell your friends something is a scam that information is going to spread like wildfire especially at their age. The jealousy of Op was dripping off the post it’s ridiculous And like Yahya said if Jane was changing the designs by adding personal touches she really could label them as her own. Either way Op came at this situation bitter that someone would dare to make a 25-50% markup on a product 😂

[@lasagnalovingcat5335]

@@yahyashabazz5721 While you make a good point about some people modifying existing products, adding rhinestones or glitter does not necessarily protect one from fraud. Also, we would need confirmation that Jane was even modifying the product, so that would be still be a more info situation needed in my opinion. It's just speculation otherwise. And simply adding 'personal touches' does not always protect the reseller from fraud when claiming the design as their own. For example, you cannot sell an app as your own if you have used proprietary source code without the author/owner's permission. Even though you may have altered the code and added 'personal touches', you'd still be deep in lawsuit territory. Another example is if the product still contains the original maker's logo or has not been modified sufficiently to avoid patent/copyright infringement, the reseller could still be liable in court if a case were filed. Some patents cover derivatives of the product and may forbid resale (especially when the function of the product has not changed). It depends on what patents and copyright protections exist on the product, where the patents are held, what the reseller is claiming, and the extent of modification. Some products you are free to modify and resell as your own, while others are protected. For example, while you cannot use proprietary code in an app, you can combine raw materials and common goods to make something new (e.g. using ribbons or bows along with fabric as part of an original outfit design). It's all case by case, and details like what was claimed and what modifications were made (if any) would matter in determining if this was simply resale or fraud. While an individual is free to sell a product that they purchased through normal commerce channels (e.g. I can sell my old laptop online), a business is held to different standards. In many cases, misinformation or misrepresentation can potentially harm the original manufacturer's reputation which is the trigger of many lawsuits. In most cases, reselling is fine, as long as the product is unmodified, was purchased through standard channels, and no claim of ownership of the design is made. A mark-up in price doesn't damage a producer's reputation as the same products are often sold by multiple businesses for different prices. We don't know whether Jane was claiming ownership of the design or not, which is one of the questions that led me to say more info needed. I'm not saying Jane was wrong to start a resale business. She was perfectly right to do so. I would simply prefer more info on details like how she representing her business (as a resale service or as the designer [because as the designer would also mean she is implying she owns the copyright/patent]) before rendering a judgment either way. If people were simply paying her to get the product for them, they were paying for the convenience. That's 100% legal and fine morally. It's a legitimate business in that case. Convenience is a service and service has value. That's not that different than paying someone to pick up your food from a restaurant and bringing it to you. As always, thanks for the input, as it's always good to hear other's thoughts and views on a subject. :) Have a great weekend!

[@lasagnalovingcat5335]

@@alwayswondering127 "I think you’ve missed the part where op shared the link in a group chat labeling Jane’s business as a scam. " I didn't miss it, but if read the post you will see that scam is also "scam" in quotations. This typically indicates that the author is either quoting someone or not agreeing with the literal definition of the word. They may be quoting how their friends chose to interpret being notified that they could get the product cheaper elsewhere. While OP might not view it as a literal scam, her friends might have come to that conclusion. The OP also mentions that they live in a small country, so we don't know if English is OP's first language. I didn't read all the responses, but I didn't see that info mentioned. I'm bringing this up because some people use the word scam when they really mean ripoff (ripoff as in being overpriced), especially when translating. For example, my father was at the office supply store last month for more printer paper. He also needed a network cable and called to ask me if the price was a good deal ($25). I told him that same product was sold by the manufacturer on Amazon for $2.99 (almost 90% less). If he needs the cable right away, then the mark-up is fine because he'd be paying for convenience. If he needed it tomorrow or the 2 days from now, he could get it next day for $8.98 (one day shipping + price) or in 2 days for $2.99. All options were legal and fine, but if he didn't need it for a few days, paying the extra money would be unwise (and the markup would feel like a ripoff). Nothing illegal in any case, but how he would view the price would depend on his situation. OP's friends probably felt the markup was too high once they knew they could get it cheaper elsewhere (and even faster). This doesn't mean Jane did anything wrong. She was providing a service by ordering an item for them that they could have found on the internet if they had looked. Charging a 50% fee for the service is fine both legally and morally. "And like Yahya said if Jane was changing the designs by adding personal touches she really could label them as her own" I addressed that post, but I'll repeat that this is not true. Modifying an existing product and marketing as one's own is allowed in some but not all situations. It depends on whether the product was modified, the extent of the modifications, the claims being made about ownership of the design, the patents/copyright of the product, where the patents are held, international trade deals on what is/is not permitted, whether or not the functionality has changed, whether the quality was impacted by modifications, whether the original manufacturer's logo/info is still on the product, etc. While in most cases, I may be able to make a new outfit out of fabrics with a printed pattern on them and say the design is mine, I cannot use proprietary source code in an app and sell the app online. It's very case by case and a lot of details would matter in determining whether or not Jane was misrepresenting the product. It's also all speculation, and more info is needed on the details about how Jane was marketing the products (as a reseller/service provider or as an "original designer" that may or may not be infringing on someone else's intellectual property. "The jealousy of Op was dripping off the post it’s ridiculous " While I did detect potential jealousy, it's sometimes hard to determine what was in someone else's heart. In this case, I'm not sure, which is why I would say if jealousy was a factor then OP would be the ahole. However, simply informing friends/family where they can buy a product for less isn't an ahole move. Which is why I'd still go with more info needed. "Either way Op came at this situation bitter that someone would dare to make a 25-50% markup on a product" As for the mark-ups, the amount is irrelevant to me, as supply, demand, and the free marketplace determine the price. Jane did nothing wrong charging 50% as a "delivery fee" for her services if the market was willing to pay it. That's just how business works. A service is worth what someone else is willing to pay for it. As for OP's motivation, it's all still speculative and I'm not sure how bitter OP was or wasn't. A teenager who may or may not have English as a second language typing something on a computer does not always make for the easiest emotional read. To be honest, even talking to a teenager in person isn't always an easy read either! However, if you're getting too high a jealousy vibe, I respect your call and your right to view OP as the ahole. If OP did this out of jealousy, OP is the ahole. If OP was jealous, and Jane was misrepresenting herself, everyone sucks. If OP was just trying to help save friends money by steering them to Jane's supplier directly, no one's an ahole. If OP was just saving friends money and Jane was misrepresenting, Op is not the ahole. It all comes down to intent and missing details, which is why I'd go with more info needed. But hey, it's cool to hear other people's viewpoints and exchange thoughts. I appreciate the input. Have a good one! :)

[@divedweller4295]

Story 4 - NTA. If her business can't survive knowledge of the original retailer, it was doomed anyway.

[@canadalovesanime3137]

story 1: Definitely NTA! She is step-mum. She doesn't NEED to have her name on OP's documents in order to raise and care for OP. This is all about appearances. They are way to worried about what outsiders might THINK. OP has very logical and rational reasons for NOT doing this. That is all that matters. I'm wondering why they are pushing this again now? Is it possible that they went ahead and did it behind OP's back when she was a child, and are now realising that once OP becomes an adult, she will see/be in charge of her documents. I hope it's just that they think she needs to accept her new family and she can ONLY do that by agreeing to be adopted. Forcing OP to just agree would only foster resentment from OP, NOT love and familial connection. NTA story 2: OP owes this snake nothing. Dad found out one week after she was told. She told someone if not dad directly. Also: dad got them into this NOT OP. The sister needs to place the blame where it belongs. Sister needs to get herself a place to live. OP move and don't look back. NTA story 3: This is ab*se. As someone with ADHD I can say all of this is crap. Her grades went up because she is being held prisoner. If someone is forced to stare at books ALL time, of course the grades will increase, but not using the prescribed medications will NOT help in the end. The current results ARE temporary. Not to mention, the girl will burn out and suffer from not having anything happy or good in her life. I would call child welfare before things turn really bad(ie; deciding to get out permanently), this poor girl is on the brink and slipping fast. That girl needs the medication not a prison regime. Daddy dearest can smugly brag about her "perfect grades and reaching her full potential" over her grave. If OP doesn't call she will be not just an *sshole, but will have to deal with the guilt of..... OP will be YTA if you don't.

[@helstok178]

Isolated 16-year-old: That dad needs to see he is doing more harm than good, such a strict regime will just lead to her resenting him, potentially developing depression and cause her to go NC when she moves out. Also, what does he think will happen once she goes to university? Does he think he can lord over her then?

[@kathryncampbell4432]

He probably does.

[@thedestroyasystem]

As a trans person: story two hurts my heart. You did the right thing. Good on you for standing up for your bf. NTA.

[@fireofdawn3515]

Same here. I’m a trans male (not even on a transition path because fucking insurance being an asshole) and it pains me to see that.

[@drshr3dd3r79]

I'm a trans woman and honestly I really hope he has an absolutely terrible life

[@videofan1010]

The father is a dill-hole. I hope the sister didn't tell him but he's treating both of his daughters like crap.

[@marukouga135]

@@fireofdawn3515 Gee I wonder why.

[@niyablake]

pissed me off to

[@isaualii]

Third story is full on abuse. They need a divorce.

[@15oClock]

1. Nothing they did drove OP except pushing the issue. They'll only be in the wrong if they keep pushing. 2. Outting OP's boyfriend is the one way all this happened. That's enough to justify OP's actions. 3. Emma's worth a CPS call at least. She likely doesn't have long before she'll run, but it'll look great in the divorce. 4. A markup is business standard, yes, and if this business is altering device cases and selling them, what's the harm? That is what we're talking about, right?

[@MsSaraella]

3rd story: depending on what country she’s in, at 16 she can just walk out the door and there is not much dad can do.

[@Mewse1203]

Waffles for breakfast, waffles for lunch, waffles for suppertime. When you're in the Waffle Gang, you can have waffles any time.

[@scarletgoldenthorn]

As someone with ADHD, Story 3 HORRIFIES me. I have been diagnosed with SEVERE ADHD since I was around six years old. I heavily rely on my medications. If someone were to deny me my meds, I wouldn’t be able to function. I would NEVER speak to them again. Emma’s parents better be ready for her to completely cut contact when she is able to move out, they’re abusive pieces of shit. Like, seriously, the extremely abusive isolation and neglect? The mom enabling this shit? Ugh.

[@readin_ritin_rithmetic]

Mom is either being abused herself or enabling the abuse.

[@scarletgoldenthorn]

@@readin_ritin_rithmetic Exactly.

[@maria_1163]

ok but on the 'scam' story. they're an ah for calling it a scam but not for telling other students where to get the products cheaper. when you're running a business like that you have to realise that eventually people are gonna find out about your massive markup and be a lil pissed off/stop buying from you. in ireland we have this thing called mini company where every student in a specific year of secondary school runs a business with their friends for the year. we all did exactly what Jane did and resold shit from the internet. people paid for the convenience, and we knew not to mark up prices too high because everyone knew we were just buying everything from aliexpress. point is, this girl's business plan was brilliant until it failed. if she had lower prices people would still probably buy from her because it's so much quicker and easier, but now they feel scammed because the price disparity isn't worth the convenience

[@Splackjack]

Story 1: NTA. This one really hit close to home. I come from a similar situation as OP. Without getting too in to it, I was adopted, then had my adoptive parents divorce and get remarried. I understand that feeling of not wanting to legally disassociate yourself from a parental figure's name. OP's dad, however, is absolutely a jackwagon for saying OP isn't part of the family for not wanting stepmom to adopt them. That's a good way to make someone feel alienated. You can absolutely have a different surname from the rest of the people in your family and still be part of it. Names don't define a family unit, it's the people who raise and care for you. To use myself as an example, my step father is the one I consider a dad. He and I get along badly, and he refused to legally adopt me after marrying my adoptive mom, but he raised me and taught me how to be a semi functional adult so he's my dad despite our surnames not matching. I'm sorry if I'm rambling a bit, but OP's dad's words are really rubbing me the wrong way. OP is perfectly within their rights here and are absolutely justified in their reasoning, so again 100% NTA.

[@bobbyjay205]

I don't have the same experience as you so I can only offer an opinion based on what I read. I got the idea that when they went to therapy the Dad was worried his daughter was feeling that way. And the Step mom was worried it was something she did to alienate OP. Not mailcious on their part. i also think that the way she presented what the therapist said was misleading. She automatically made it seem like they went to try convince her, and not to get to the root of a percieved problem. It sounds bad, but I think it backfired. If that make sense. All in all it's up to OP and I go with NTA for her. I just don't think there was any real mailce on the paernts part. They seem nice.

[@AnimeLover-iy5bv]

For story 3 if they live in the states i know that some states will let you leave at 16. She does not have to stay in that house. If Op has the stability to help their niece out they could legally leave and the dad could do nothing about it.

[@Mscrimsondragon]

Thats more than being simply strict, thats verged into abuse territory.

[@hollyberry0602]

The fourth story with the phone case business reminds me of this guy I went to school with who always went to the Co-op before school, bought a load of cookies and sold them for a pound each. I can still distinctly remember him going around asking people "You wanna buy a cookie?" He probably made quite a bit by the end of the year. Smart guy :D

[@flyboy6392]

Business story, I applaud her friend's entrepreneurial spirit, it's a very firm YTA from me.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Whoever is reading this i send hugs and great vibes. Drink water, eat food, nap, take a break, take care of yourself gosh darn it. And if you don't I swear I will find you and keep you in a cottage and take care of you. 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@lizzistorm7474]

Pls take care of me, I can't do it myself 😅😂

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@lizzistorm7474 ok but in the meantime try to take care of yourself

[@raayvenwolfgirl5539]

I see no threats here. I would LOVE to live in a cottage and be taken care of. XD

[@jesterbrown90]

Nah, I'm drinking a twelve pack of coke today.

[@bluecarnallove7851]

Story 1: I'm petty, so I'd agree to being adopted....On the condition that they go with me immediately once it's finalized to have my name changed back to my bio parent's name. Maybe I just don't have much faith in people, but I feel like that's the root of the problem here; stepmom wants OP to have her name, not the bio mom's. Story 2: I wouldn't have a sister anymore (figuratively, not literally) if that happened to me. Even if their dad did find out somehow on his own, OP's sister is angry at the wrong person. And, if she did tell him or told someone that told him, it's entirely her own fault, not OP's. She should've known better than to out someone who wasn't out yet. Story 3: That doesn't just "feel like abuse"; it IS abuse. CPS may not take her away, but as someone who has dealt with them before, isolating a child to the point where they are unable to contact help for any reason (seriously, what if she's home alone and gets hurt and can't reach the phone to call for help?) is something they would take seriously enough. At the very least, they may assign someone or send someone to check in monthly with the family (niece) which, unless he's daft, would force BIL to loosen his dictatorship so he doesn't make the situation worse for him. If they don't do anything, however, OP needs to make sure her niece knows that there's a place for her with them when she's 18 because she's going to need it. Guarantee that girl is going to nope out as soon as she's legally allowed to if, by some miracle, she decides to even hold out that long.

[@janicewilcox8590]

Yeah the therapist was awesome for "you can't therapy her into changing her mind". But have you given them the same reason as you've given us? Or have you just said no?

[@PurpleHeartsOnFire]

For the last story I personally think resellers are scam artists. For someone who works in retail they make my life difficult. Every time we have a new launch they come in right when we open, buy everything. They then resell for 50-100% mark up, which leaves me irate customers to deal with. It’s like they find me personally accountable for those people. They also piss me off when a new game/console comes out and I can never get my hands on something for several months after a launch. I remember when a reseller did this with hand sanitizer and got charges. I know novelties vs necessities are very different, but have a common enemy. Maybe my mindset would be different if they didn’t hit so close to home. I’m not saying their bad people, they just do things I don’t like personally.

[@pandemoniumglaciers82]

That's different you work at a store a store isn't a big warehouse company that has products specifically for this she was buying from a company that specifically made massive stock of product to sell to resellers to sell it to people in different areas she was buying it out of a warehouse company

[@PurpleHeartsOnFire]

@@pandemoniumglaciers82 Yeah I guess I see why she/he might be the asshole. I am biased tho, so my opinion is skewed. I can truly see it from both sides, since they can shipped to her area, instead of physically leaving and coming back. It would different for me if there is no other way possible of obtaining it. I also see the person who snitched as being bitter as well, and didn’t have to publicly out her business.

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Question: In the first story, if the parents are pushing so hard for adoption, could it be a nefarious reason for them? Does OP's deceased mother have a trust fund for them that would become controlled by the step-mom as soon as OP is adopted? OP needs to check up on all info on their dead mother because there might be some money involved here.

[@WardNightstone]

Story 3 that kid is gonna rebel HARD emotional abuse is still abuse

[@louisemccallum2345]

21:14 "bad mark" Sounded way to much like "bad Dobby!" 😂😉

[@Arthus850]

Mark, if there’s an update to story 3, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, feature it in a future video. This is without a doubt the most horrifying story I’ve ever read on r/AITA. I want to know what happened after this all came to light.

[@louellacharlton4425]

Story 1 she has to explain her feelings just as she did here or let them read it from here. They just don't understand.That will go.a long way in helping. Just explain!

[@CathySW]

Story 4 NTA It's called competition. If people can buy the same goods cheaper somewhere else why shouldn't they? And why wouldn't you tell people if you knew where you could get it cheaper? Most businesses will add something such as buying in bulk and selling individually. This girl did no such thing, so why would people still buy things from her?

[@KimPossibleShockwave]

Even if the sister is indirectly responsible, she's still responsible. However, there's a good chance that she's going to cut her older sister out after this -- same with the father. Basically, no matter who is in the right/wrong, the older sister is going to be practically booted out of the family by, in their eyes, choosing her boyfriend over them. Sadly enough, I think life is going to be very tough for the pair.

[@PelegdolevWackyycool]

Story 4: depends what janes been saying. If she says it’s the cheapest phone cases ever that she made herself then nta. If she just says here buy phone cases yta.

[@hankogle6858]

Story 3 is why you hear stories of children murdering their parents. I wasn’t diagnosed until my my 40’s. The doctor was trying to figure out how I even passed high school. After about 3 weeks I could see a major difference in my job and even my marriage

[@briansmaller7443]

Jane is running a business. You buy low and in bulk and sell at a price the market is willing to pay. The OP is a massive AH for not understanding how business works. Does she get upset that literally every business she ever shops in does the same thing? Buys something in and puts a mark up on it.

[@craftyink70]

Be careful contacting cps. Ask yourself could you deal with the fall out? In short, my husband and I contacted social services (UK) about concern our granddaughter was around a dangerous man. After 3 wonderful years being grandparents we are now like the living dead as between 2 sets of social services we've lost her. 💔😢

[@ColorsOfOrion]

Wait, how is the 4th one TA? She just pointed out that the cases were cheaper in the online store, and people decided to buy them there instead of buying them from Jane. Neither of them were doing anything illegal, but as a customer, I'd feel cheated if I found out that they are selling them more expensive with absolutely no benefit to it (no changes added to the product, you still need to wait a whole month to get it...)

[@deedeeschway9566]

OP is telling everyone it’s a scam. Unless Jane was telling everyone she made those cases herself or inflating the price too high, shes not scamming them. A lot of businesses do reselling and it’s legitimate so long as they don’t make false claims. They also inflate prices to make a profit. What would be the point of Jane selling cases if she doesn’t make money from it? She does put some work into her business. OP is TA because she ruined Jane’s business and reputation.

[@Mapache095]

Honestly, story 3 to me it’s very much abuse. It doesn’t matter that the reason behind it it’s because he wants her grades to get better - isolating someone and taking control over every aspect of their life is abusive behaviour.

[@tgi_sundays2756]

Story 3: isolation is a form of abuse, how is a CPS call not warranted? Its even worse when you consider the fact that she is a minor so there is no escape from it (legally anyway). If OP were to let this go she would be an enable to her BIL's abhorrent parenting.

[@raayvenwolfgirl5539]

Story 1, NAH. The family is nta for worrying that it is because op doesn't like them, OP is Nta for not wanting to. I think she should tell them its about the name. It would make the family feel better and understand more.

[@raayvenwolfgirl5539]

And that last story? Total YTA. Though curious if she was doing the tax work on it, cuz in order to sell stuff like that, you have to pay business tax.

[@jayahess4656]

CPS, as a person abused by them, are unchecked monsters. They mean well, but they can ruin your life without repercussion. I do not hate people for seeking help from them, but I personally, would not seek Godzilla if I needed an unlocked door. They are monsters. Effective, but far, far more destructive than the abuse I suffered. Monsters.

[@jayahess4656]

The comments saying "CPS won't be able to x"... CPS can do a lot, but maybe only damage. They are a wrecking ball. Call if you want a wall destroyed, but not if you want finesse. In the nicest way possible. All social workers =/= CPS, and all CPS =/= Demons, but again, as someone illegally abused by CPS... one is demonized, one is praised. Checks and balanced, CPS has none. Depending on area, they can do a whole host of damage, and I suppose help...

[@lina9535]

Story 4: Does OP not know how normal stores work? What Jane did is literally what stores do xD

[@Skyfire_The_Goth]

I used to have a candle making business, and someone tried to call me out for selling my candles for "so much of a markup from what the materials cost." I simply stated "And? I run a business, and a business is there to make money for the owner, of course I'm going to sell my candles for more than what I spent for the materials. Do you really think that when you buy that $10 candle at Wal-Mart, you're paying what Wal-mart payed for it? Of course not, you payed more for it." then laughed.

[@rachellyne6184]

The third story made me so sad. And hearing CPS might not help made it worse.

[@reddynamo752]

I gotta say mark, your videos make my day because I’m home alone all the time and your voice is so happy it makes me happy

[@BersealiaDreamheart]

Story #2 - NTA. Regardless of whether OP’s sister told her father directly or indirectly, it’s her own fault for not keeping her big, fat mouth shut. She got herself into this mess and now she has to clean up the results of her act. But I agree that the biggest AH in this situation is their bigotry father for what he did. Screw that hateful man.

[@skippiefritz]

Stories about not getting medication for ADHD hit hard for me, way too close to home. NTA OP, I recommend taking her in if possible

[@PowerStar004]

Story 4: NTA There is a world of difference in between shopping at a business and buying something from a friend. The end result says it all - when told the truth, people stopped buying anything from Jane. If she was running an honest business, why would learning her markups stop her customers from shopping there?

[@peggin169]

Story 4, I don't think OP is TA for telling people they could get the same thing somewhere else for a better price, but OP is definitely YTA for saying Jane was running a "scam." Unless Jane was telling people she was making the cases herself, it sounds like she was just running a business, acquiring inventory and selling it for a profit. There's nothing wrong with that, unless Jane was misleading people about where the products were coming from.

[@tartsonawire]

My grandpa worked and retired from an oil tool company. A fast food place would occasionally put their breakfast sandwich on sale for $1 each. Grandpa would stop on the way to work, buy 20 of them, and sell them for $2 each at work. Sold out every time.

[@Acidfunkish]

My step dad started dating my mom when I was around 15. He was never able to have kids, but had wanted them. When they married (when I was 16-17), he asked me if I wanted to be officially adopted. I said, "Nah. I don't want to make it a 'thing.'" He respected that choice, and left it alone. I consider him my real father, now. He's been 10x more of a dad to me than my bio dad ever was. I respect him, and even LIKE him, as a person. And I feel thankful to have been his daughter. If you don't feel comfortable doing it, or even if you just don't want to, you have no obligation to go along with it. That's okay. Especially as a mid-teen, it can seem fairly silly. But the OP in story 1 was also the only one to REMEMBER her mom. She has a completely valid reason (not wanting to disrespect her mom, by sharing the title with a woman the OP has only known for a couple of years). That should be respected.

[@Tammohawk1]

1st Story: NTA I'm a child of divorced parents. One thing I know is that you cannot walk in and replace a parent. So why try? And why get all butt sore over the fact that one of the kids doesn't want to be adopted? These parents clearly don't get much of anything. 3rd Story: Most judges listen to kids over the age of 12 or 13 when it comes to custody arrangements. I highly doubt that a judge would make OP's niece live with her father for any amount of time. 4th Story: YTA How do you think free enterprise works? That is how it works. You buy a product, stock it, and resell it. You have to make a profit in order to stay in business. Sheesh. It's not a scam, it was a legitimate business.

[@kenshawnadaniels]

In The Last Story my mom literally used to do the same thing except with clothing. She would drive to Atlanta every weekend and go to the outlet stores and then come back to our small town and sell the clothes that she bought at a 10% to 15% mark up. She did it for some extra income to take care of us. Op is definitely the butthole.

[@shadesofjade]

19:22 I think what op was saying Mark, is that she’s selling this cases as if she made them herself and she didn’t. And if they are customized, or extremely exclusive to a brand, then what she was doing is fraud.

[@nasiraward4316]

So what I'm hearing is Mark has a Kinder Egg obsession and he should have his PO box shoved full of kinder eggs weekly 👀

[@jackcossari8730]

Story 4 : I don't understand why OP is TA, everyone is pointing out that this is how every business works but then by that perspective, any business is susceptible to being exposed, Nestle has bad practices and was boycotted for example, all OP did is say where one could find it cheaper, which is not immoral at all, and even calling her business a "scam" isn't necessarily wrong. One comment said there is no difference between a kid upselling drinks or candy, there is, a kid actually transports the good. Other kids are paying for the premium of place/location/delivery. Anyone could skip that if they wanted and go buy one cheaper themselves and knows a place that sells drinks or candy, they just pay more for convenience. OP simply shared the more convenient option for people to use.

[@bobbyjay205]

Calling it a scam was wrong. If a company was being slandered for regular, ethical business practices, they would sue. It wasn't a scam. Especially since his mark up was little it was a super-dick move. And she was delivering convience because she pre-ordered and offered what was "in stock" on the spot. Letting people know how to get one cheaper is fair play.

[@alexjohn9627]

For story 4, I’m surprised a lot of people are calling her TA. All she did was make here business model public? If everyone decided to stop buying from here after hearing this, she didn’t have a secure business, and didn’t have anything of value to offer. You’re not entitled to money or any sort of income, if you can’t create value, you won’t be able to make any amount of money.

[@optimusprime320-h9c]

Agreed, I was just thinking about how Redditers wouldn’t buy from a company with market up if they can get it somewhere cheaper and in fact Reddit normally would share that kind of information with their fellow consumers in order to help each other. I don’t understand why that kind of behavior should be different when it comes to an individual business. Is it just cause it’s a kid or is it this new hustle culture that says you have to buy from these people just because

[@sfsin3380]

Telling people about the site was mean but not AHness. The problem is biased on Op attitude in the post it sound like she when around school telling anyone who would listen that Jane scammer when what Jane was doing was running a business. Like seriously OP seem to think that Jane's a monster because modern teenagers didn't look online before buy from her.

[@toothless3835]

I think the issue was her calling it a scam. She bad mouthed it when it's a normal business practice. If you don't like the manufacture someone's getting their supplies, that's fine. Don't shop there. But every business had some kind of supplier. Unless she was claiming to do the bedazzling herself or something, then it wasn't a scam. She was just a reseller.

[@noraallies598]

I think the last story with the selling online products is iffy based on the info. The seller was just doing as a business does but it isn't clear if she was claiming she was the one to "make" the products which would be a scam. Op just made people aware they could get the products somewhere else for cheaper in the same amount of time or faster. If they made their post out saying "seller is a scam" and seller never said they made them then OP is in the wrong. Otherwise it's like telling people about wholesale stores, the person selling the cases in the school just got competition and since everyone can buy from the site she bought them from she has no chance at underselling her supplier so she is of course going to be upset. If Op just put the info out and didn't call it a scam then the rumor mill is to blame for putting the seller "on blast".

[@Meh_Lone_Bah]

That story with the 16 year old reminds me of most Asian parents at my middle and high school. But they were able to still talk with friends and have a flip phone to use, so this brother-in-law is being an a-hole for being super extreme. He needs to realize that either he eases the restrictions so she can at least socialize or he will lose her forever when she leaves. I had a friend who was like her and she hated her mom for being controlling and forcing her to take multiple classes and activities. The mom was snobbish when my friend graduated and said "aren't you glad you have all these skills you got that i paid for?" Omg, even tho friend was talented by doing the activities, it was disgusting to hear that the mom was proud of it. But once friend graduated from high school, she dropped doing the activities and moved out of her mom's house to live with her boyfriend. From what I heard, she hasnt contacted her mom throughout college.

[@ladyofthelake93]

Jane was just hussling. It's the buyer's fault for not doing their research. Poor girl lost her income!

[@forestgrump4723]

The last story, OP may not be the asshole if their classmate wasn’t licensed to run a business. Selling goods under the table is illegal, if she wasn’t licensed to sell things then that is actually a scam.

[@NovaGirl8]

depends on which country it is. It is considered a small business here and most of them operate without permits amd rarely pay taxes. Very rarely does our tax authority chase after the little fish

[@forestgrump4723]

@@NovaGirl8 Fair, there are a lot of factors to consider for surr

[@ivy4104]

omg, as a person with adhd who fucked up their life completely and had to fight hard and long to stand where I am now, Id still preffer this life over the one that child is put through, what the actual

[@jaymzraulfin2227]

Story 4: nta TaoBao is owned by Alibaba and is an internet storefront in china similar to amazon/ebay/wish/etc (as was mentioned). The friend isn't running a buisness, she isn't making anything or buying from a supplyer, she is buying from a retalior and reselling them. Her bisness is based on noone ever using the internet to get a phone case and seeing that company. If any of thoes cases use 3rd party licenced propertys (ie micky mouse, Friends, or..."Cartoons" as was mentioned, etc.) and that company is paying a licencing fee to sell them the friend could be breaking some laws (not a lawyer and don't know the laws there) for copyright/licence/trademark infringment. It seems like she is selling a registered company product as her own. It's literally a black market operation the friend had; Phone cases are hard to get here, i have a way to get some, pay me a mark up for them and don't ask where they came from. If it wern't it wouldn't have fallen apart the second someone found out where she got them from. She found a hustle, her hustle got found out, boo-hoo, hustles are not a "bisness".

[@somerandoonyt9553]

Story 3. I don't know how things work in their country. There was a commenter that stated that it's not illegal or immoral. In the US, might not be considered immoral, but it would be illegal. For her to be legally selling them for profit, she would need a business license, and would need to be taxed as income. I know ppl get away with it here, and in this scenario, I doubt she would be prosecuted, however as petty as you may think I am, it would technically be illegal. That being said, OP is still the asshole. None of their business what this person was doing with their money. Edit. Story 4, not 3. My apologies

[@ghyslainabel]

I hope you get an update on story 3. The father is clearly abusive.

[@phoenixsky6124]

Story 3. If in doubt CALL! Let CPS decide if it’s serious enough. NTA

[@gelibeanzcantrell7192]

the only way OP wouldn't have been TA in story 4 is if they were shutting down an MLM...

[@tortie-mawmginger5426]

I work at a psychiatrist office. There are meds for ASHD that are not controlled and aren’t considered addictive. He has no business “doctoring” her himself. If she has ADHD, then she needs professional help. It’s nothing to mess around with.

[@sion9280]

Story 4.) I'm going with ESH because I think the reason why people bought those phone cases was probably cause she implied she made them herself

[@henkkoopmans9982]

Last one NTA, she is not even creating convenience, and only making money due to a clouded market. It was not transparant, making the market transparant is a fair thing to do.

[@ShamzDontCare]

Morninggggg Mark..enjoyed todays show while getting ready for my online course lol xxx much love to you n fam n hope your dads OK xxxxx

[@edwardgarrettahuatzi9041]

Story 1: So NTA, my bio-Abuelo (grandfather) died when my dad was a little kid. When my Abuelo married my Abuela, he adopted 4 of her 5 kids. Only 1(my dad) wasn't adopted because because that was what they wanted. Regardless, he's my Abuelo and he is my dad's dad (in all but name). Family is more than a name.

[@LadyLeomon]

1) NTA, it’s sad your little siblings are too young to remember their birth mother, the truth is you do, you remember and you still love her (rightly) and the stepmom’s attitude is not only hella disrespectful but also incredibly rude, wishing you only happiness going forward OP. 2) So she needed a place to crash then proceeded to snitch on the person who gave her said place? NTA 100%! 3) NTA, the parents are slavery-driving jerks, wishing the niece all the best. 4) While I agree she is a jerk it’s not illegal, YTA. Thanks for the new vid WaffleBoss 💙🐱💙

[@TheGRavist]

the phone case selling.... I would agree this is indeed the A for ruining a business BUT what bothers me slightly is how it seems this girl doesn't have a stock of cases ready to sell. I wouldn't go into a store, see a case, go to the till to pay and then have the cashier tell me "Great, thank you for your purchase! Your item will be shipped to your door next month".... THAT'S NOT WHAT I GO TO A STORE FOR. that's my only issue with this.

[@TheDarwinProject1]

Story 3: ...there is no evidence that diet has anything to do with ADHD. The father is making things worse by traumatizing his daughter. Cptsd will only make her executive dysfunction worse and physically changes structures in the brain. Adhd meds ARE NOT addictive when taken at therapeutic doses in those with ADHD. Many people on ADHD meds forget to take their meds and we don't experience withdrawal and obviously no cravings. I don't know if CPS cares much about the mental damage that emotional abuse does, but I hope the neice gets out of there with minimal long term harm. OP should take her in if at all possible.

[@pompe221]

Story 3: The advice I was given as a mandated reporter is that if you aren't sure if you should call, the fact that you think there might be a reason is reason enough to call. Trust your gut. OP's brother-in-law is isolating his daughter from ALL outside sources, and is refusing to allow her to get physician-recommended treatment (the medication) for her medical condition. For me, that's enough to call -- just be aware that CPS may not consider the situation serious enough to do anything.

[@MikkosFree]

Story 1) NAH. At this point, the step-mom has been raising OP longer than her birth mother has. And based on her OP's own words, she has been doing a great job and loved by everyone. Of course, OP's refusal for adoption would be incredibly painful for her. Her dad wants therapy because he assumes OP is doing it out of some negative feelings towards the stepmom. OP has valid reasons for resisting. They all just need to communicate better.

[@greatshitan7320]

That second story made me laugh. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, you, dad, sister, the girl you are dating. Everyone

[@emijliastarovic8524]

So many kinder eggs!! And you guys in the UK have the good kind with chocolate shells. The kinder eggs here in the US are a weird custard cream thing

[@ettinakitten5047]

Story 3 - I feel like the best approach would be to strongly encourage your sister to go through with the divorce. Even with younger children 50-50 custody wouldn't be guaranteed, especially if she gives good evidence of his overcontrolling parenting and the harmful impact it's having, and with teens, custody decisions are *heavily* weighted by where the child says they want to live, so her chance of getting sole custody of Emma is pretty good. And divorce doesn't make a home "broken", it's already broken because the love, trust and cooperation a family depends on has broken down. Divorce can help it to heal.

[@lilliodhe5enraptured]

Story 4: OP either thinks that Jane sneezes and farts out cell phone cases, or else she's stupid AF for not knowing what a basic mark-up is. No, wait, both options are stupid AF. I feel so bad for Jane.

[@isiaadiel3468]

Strict and abusive share a block but are two different houses. This house is right next to the abusive house, a shed in the backyard rather. Not to mention a court will definitely listen to the kid, especially when he is actively preventing therapy and guidance intervention. I've seen CPS and social workers act as counseling for children during investigation and divorce proceedings, whether in the home or a facility. Just a few minutes with them should be enough to raise suspicion if it's this awful. Edit: A comment just reminded me that she could be emancipated with the help of her mother if she truly didn't want her involved and fears the split of custody. From there OP can support or assist her as I mentioned above, contacting resources. The narrative that govt agencies are just gonna lol you out of the room if you aren't actively beating a child is just a bad take.

[@alicewilloughby4318]

Story 1 - "Stepmother just wants to know what she did wrong." Well, for one thing, statements like that sound manipulative. I'm glad the therapist told them they couldn't "therapy OP into agreeing". Story 3 - Emma's father sounds like a bully. He's not just strict, he's using Emma's ADHD as an excuse to be cruel. It may not count as abuse legally, but it's certainly emotional abuse.