I'm Refusing To Get My Daughter With Severe Anxiety A Service Dog Due To Her Actions r/Relationships

[@Eirilyn]

That girl has no business having access to an animal. And she should absolutely pay the entire vet bill

[@NephelyDeBussy]

That option of a service dog for a sadist is like putting a bandaid on a wooden leg. Besides, the hubby suggesting he stays at home while his wife is slogs it away: the grifter!

[@viddergrapho8488]

I'm more mad at the dad and therapist at this point. OP should ask them "if this was our niece or nephew on the roof, and not a dog, would you still be so adamant about a 15 year old's abusive actions?"

[@satansecretary665]

@@viddergrapho8488 im also wondering if she thinks this way about a shelter dog, that its "unwanted". i wonder what she thinks about adopted kids that were abandoned by bioparents and if the SIL had an adopted kid would it have replaced the dog on the roof?

[@sandhermit3665]

I agree!

[@MoriacMumma7]

Daughter needs to volunteer at an animal shelter!

[@Phantom95179]

Anyone who treats a dog like that doesn’t deserve one, idc how old they are.

[@D-M-K-1-2]

I'd honestly report the therapist for wanting to enable her behavior instead of actually doing their job. A part of me also thinks that OP's daughter told the therapist some warped version of events and left out what she did.

[@a_noelle8595]

PERIOD!!!!!

[@LilySaintSin]

Facts 💯

[@aubreymorgan9763]

@@D-M-K-1-2 good idea. her behavior is gross and scary, i have a feeling she might be weaponizing her anxiety to get out of things.

[@melindaflick631]

@@D-M-K-1-2 that's a good point - I'd recommend mom tell the therapist what really happened, and see if her opinion of the matter changes. And change therapist asap if she's still fine with animal torture and abuse.

[@WhatsitComedyTV]

Story 1: the husband is the enabler. There’s the source

[@ElleD308]

This.... and she15 and already crying and denying work because how "her anxiety won't let her work"... she's on her way to be a 35+ year old tho lives in mom's hose demanding everything and crying anxiety every time some asks her to have a shred of responsibility and adult life

[@HackiePuffs]

I think the therapist might also be a source because “don’t deny her a service dog it’s a medical necessity” as if it’s some sort of object and not another living being that the daughter could possibly hurt again if she doesn’t learn her lesson. Never mind maybe it is just daddy dearest who is willing to protect her from any responsibility

[@greendiamondglow]

@@ElleD308 Well...seeing as OP's marriage is probably going to end in divorce, I think it's likelier that the daughter will choose to stay with her dad, instead.

[@ElleD308]

@@greendiamondglow and the dad will cry about how it's insane she does nothing but watch videos, eat, and demand things. How he doesn't know how she got that way 😂

[@ScientificChicken-nb9cq]

Keeping her from school all these years also isolated her even more instead of helping her get through it while being surrounded by her peers. Why would she change this for a job, when she's been taught from young age that the anxiety is an excuse to stay home?

[@cajenks7268]

That is such a disgusting way to talk about a living thing, let alone a scared elderly dog. She should absolutely not have a dog at this point. I can't believe anyone would want to give her one. I am sympathetic to the social anxiety but I think what she did is unforgivable!

[@NunyaBzness-st4li]

She’s a fucking monster, I can’t believe how little empathy she has for other living creatures. It makes me sick. The dad is a foul POS too.

[@lorddaegoth]

Yeah, she needs to be nowhere near an animal ever. That said, forcing her to get a job like that is going to have long term consequences I hope OP is prepared for.

[@Doggypaddle8]

​@lorddaegoth I agree on both points. They should set the daughter up to cut lawns in the neighborhood. It would involve more work on their part (interacting w/ the customers), but the daughter could earn the $ w/o being traumatized.

[@marshawargo7238]

Her ESA doesn't have to be a dog! Perhaps a Beany Baby would suffice 😂???

[@Shenn3165]

I’d like to know who they plan of making take care of the dog, dad won’t do it for long, girl is too afraid to go buy food for the dog, and can’t hold a job to pay for it.

[@lizthedisjointedzebra692]

How would the daughter feel if she were abused, but told "oh, it's fine that you were abused, as you're not a 'high value human' like someone that is mentally and emotionally stable"??? Surely she would be upset and think she still deserves respect, right??? She sounds coddled, out right spoiled. And that therapist SUCKS.

[@LeisureLizard]

10 upvotes for me!

[@reignofbastet]

Dad AND therapist. ffs what is wrong with some people? 🙄

[@user-blob]

Well said!!!

[@dimsufferer9951]

I have to ask what the Therapist was told about the incident

[@untitled-gv3qp]

​@@dimsufferer9951 Even if the daughter lied the therapist should've asked for details on the situation before deciding to badger the OP about an ESA that she doesn't really need. There are other means to identify panic attacks if the person can't be trusted with a pet. And if her anxiety is truly at the point that she can't work or leave home then she should be getting more than light anxiety meds. It makes me wonder why she was trying to get attention on tik tok. I know there's not really a standard for social anxiety but someone who can't handle school or work isn't gonna be looking for online fame either. The anxiety is about more than just being around unfamiliar people. Why would she want to draw attention to herself like that?

[@Pepe-em9gj]

3:53 someone with "severe social anxiety" wouldn't be this comfortable being an AH and spewing the the things that came out of her filthy mouth. So what was her plan for the rest of life? Never work or support herself in the name of anxiety? This is ridiculous 😒

[@kateemma22]

I have severe social anxiety and becoming famous on Tik Tok is my idea of hell. She would torture an animal to do that? Hitting doubt on the anxiety button and a bigger doubt on the therapist deserving their licence.

[@plantemor]

Ppl with severe social anxiety can still be assholes. It's not a disorder exclusively for the angels among us.

[@lsmith992]

She sounds like a psychopath. Mistreating an animal is one of those traits that identify these people.

[@wessexdruid7598]

Look up dissocial personality disorder.

[@nikkismith2858]

A lot of KZbinrs like Zoella started KZbin because of social anxiety. They’re in their bedrooms talking to a camera not a person. Zoella blew up but her anxiety disorder has limited her sometimes missing out on opportunities but she’s now a millionaire and very very famous. A lot of bloggers and KZbinrs are awkward offline as the job further isolated them. But are able to earn online.

[@WhatsitComedyTV]

DO NOT LET THAT GIRL ANYWHERE NEAR ANY ANIMAL

[@maurer3d]

Or a small child.

[@miniman649]

@@maurer3d or anyone really. Might be for the best if she stays isolated for life.

[@harmonygibbs7904]

I rather want the mom to take them to a shelter and have the daughter explain to someone there what she did and why, then ask if they would adopt a dog to her. the father is wacked.

[@MiraTheWarlock]

Severe anxiety here to say this: Do NOT let her near another living creature, be it any animal or any smaller human unable to defend themselves. Her lack of empathy is alarming. Husband needs to stop babying her, and the therapist needs to do her job and stop being a yes man ESA and Service animals may be medical equipment, but they're still living equipment, not playthings

[@magicalmomo9987]

This!! I have generalized anxiety and a friend with severe social anxiety. Both of us have or had pets. I couldn't even fathom harming the creatures who are there for us and expect absolutely nothing in return besides love and care.

[@Number1Pencil]

I know people with social anxiety and BPD. None of them are animal a*users. This girl needs to get offline and a new therapist ASAP or she could grow up to be a dangerous adult.

[@kateemma22]

100%. This child has either sociopathy or psychology because this kind of behaviour is not normal in SSA or BPD.

[@nikkismith2858]

Sounds more like Borderline Personality disorder than Bi Polar Disorder

[@gerrimilner9448]

what she did (and recorded) deserves a prison sentence and would possibly get a couple of years in UK

[@CloverField83]

As someone with crippling anxiety and a bipolar diagnosis, I can confirm that my mental health struggles have never spurred me to put my senior dog on a roof for tiktok likes. That kid is chronically online and lacking in the most basic level of empathy.

[@scorpionbraid]

"To me it's the literal meaning of happiness." Not your wife. Not your 6 month old daughter. The car you sold when you were 19? And your planning to lie on top of what amounts to theft? I look forward to the update after his wife finds out the truth and "divorces him out of nowhere."

[@robinronin]

As a service dog handler: she should not have a service dog. Service dogs are both living creatures with feelings, and medical equipment. Training them is absurdly expensive. Investing time and money in a service dog she would likely t0rture/kll for online attention is unhinged.

[@donnawilliams787]

Are you sure she doesn’t milk her anxiety to get away from responsibility? I’ve suffered from that and I began to use it as an excuse. Also she does sound like a sociopath. I think she’s taking you for a ride.

[@kateajurors8640]

This so much this Another thing that leads me to believe this is if you pay attention to the story.The mom who spends all the time with the girl is the only one willing to hold her accountable but is coming out to the rest of the world as seeming like the bad guy for you know like attacking a kid kind of thing or being mean to a kid kind of thing I guess. But I mean, the dad seems to work all the time. And the therapist only sees her. Maybe an hour a week, so, I'm wondering if she isn't just a supermanipulative little girl and I just don't see why she seems to have been fine with school for so long and then all the sudden has too much anxiety to go. It's not exactly how it works. Though I'm not saying it's not able to happen. Just with everything else in this story. This girl is a walking red flag. In a psyca path and is able to manipulate people around her and target. Someone else as the monster really makes me feel like she's gonna be an abuser. In future relationships, especially with a neighboring dad like that. Like, how can you not be mad at your kid for merely killing your sister's dog?

[@rachelwitherspoon4394]

Therapist and Dad are absolutely wrong. She should never be allowed to own any sort of helpless creature, and should definitely be responsible for the vet bill, in totality.

[@marshawargo7238]

Yah, I was going to say that I think that she has the wrong therapist! There are therapists who specialize in specific situations or areas & this is the wrong fit😢!!!

[@BbiBbii]

Yup! Also if you’re manipulative enough you can make the therapist say anything you want, that’s the reason why people say narcissists shouldn’t go to therapy (especially group therapy). So I don’t think the therapist is bad, I think they’re getting manipulated by both daughter & dad

[@melissafernandez9535]

I agree. I thought that the therapist overstepped.

[@nikkismith2858]

Me too. I’m side eyeing the therapist…who wants to continue with the dog and not recognising/ diagnosing sociopathic behaviours…

[@dimsufferer9951]

I'm questioning what the therapist was told about the incident. Did OP, the husband, or the daughter tell them about it? If it was the latter two I have to assume they downplayed it because that's not how a normal human would react

[@TheodoreBotman]

Story 1: The girl is screwed and the Dad will enable her destruction. Story 2: Massive YTA. Blew all his money on some dumb car and then got his mother to bail him out. This relationship stands no chance.

[@heatherweir8726]

Totally agree. Op comment are the mommy bailed you out comments really necessary. Yes the are because they are true.

[@sevenember3332]

Not just that, but used part of his sister’s future inheritance to do so

[@peterhobson3262]

Plus he's going to lie to his wife about the car. This guy is just digging himself deeper and deeper into shit.

[@ScientificChicken-nb9cq]

@sevenember3332 I wasn't sure if he really meant taking sisters inheritance or if he made a deal with mum to substract the taken money from his part so the sister ends up getting the right amount in the end. I assumed the last, but maybe OP doesn't deserve this benefit of the doubt.

[@chaudx]

Story 1: Yeah, let's just hope her destruction gets limited to herself only or at most she and her father. "Social anxiety" yeah...get her a job and put her on normal school she's getting more and more detached from reality, she needs to grow up.

[@catnoir1333]

Story 2: didn't talk to his wife about the car, is going to lie about selling to the car, had mommy bail him out, taking his sister's inheritance to pay for everything. I feel sorry for his wife and child because this isn't the only time he is going to pull things like this. Also bet they aren't going to talk to the sister.

[@emcustard]

Story 2: and his solution is to lie about where he got the money? That'll certainly go over well when the truth comes out

[@carolroberts4614]

I started with a bit of sympathy for Op2, because I lost my mum at 19 too. Soon faded though, with what he did. And then lying at the end to cover up. Like that is going to stay a secret for long!

[@Alissandre_Iskander]

And was given part of the inheritance that was to be shared with his sister... and I bet no one said anything to the sister...

[@aspidistraeliator]

​@@carolroberts4614me too, I(as a female car bro) quite understood why dude did that. But to heap lies on top of disrespecting his wife by not even attempting a discussion.......his marriage won't last

[@TheBlueDsc]

S1: i see a divorce coming in the future. S2: It annoys me that not only did this guy basically get rewarded for being a complete moron, he doesn't even have the decency to admit it.

[@maniaclaugh]

Story 2 that guy's mom is still wiping the poopies off of his backside and making him blow his nosey into her hanky. She is an utter failure of a parent and a good example of how not to raise a kid. OP is no example of any kind of parent simce he is not one. He's a manchild who knocked up someone and then went on as if he is not responsible for the life he helped to create.

[@ttjc3696]

Also he screwed his sister cause that was her inheritance to

[@rene280195]

The issue with story two is not how it ended is the lies, so much lies and so much manipulations, they are a toxic couple, that's not gonna end well.

[@dandotvid]

And he's just going to continue to lie to his wife? He's such an asshole.

[@katie6731]

​@@dandotvid He's planning to lie to his wife for years, rather than taking responsibility for his choices. Considering the way Mommy bailed him out, this is his pattern. I really hope that he doesn't destroy his daughter's ability to function by raising her the way Mommy raised him. I wonder what happens to him when Mommy isn't around and he's blown his sister's and his inheritance. His wife will be long gone by then. Hopefully, his daughter will be old enough to resist his demands to subsidize his selfishness.

[@nowetherider]

Therapist is incorrect about the dog

[@peachesnsht]

Indeed, sounds like my aunt's husband. He has (don't know the correct term in english) fighting roosters (?) Basically, what he said was "if the rooster wins, it gets a hen. If it looses, you better just euthanize it because It will continue loosing you money".

[@jillimi]

⁠@@peachesnsht fighting roosters are a thing in here, too, and that it’s almost see as a “sport” 🙈. I think people who have them have the same mentality about how a loser rooster should be treated (and, as I have been told, a lot of them died during the fight ☹️).

[@chaudx]

I'm pretty sure the therapist is getting a commission or something, no way someone without something to gain would be pushing so hard for OP to get the dog.

[@dandotvid]

Seriously, what kind of therapist hears that a patient has injured a dog by being negligent and malicious and comes to the conclusion that said patient *needs* a dog???

[@dandotvid]

@@peachesnsht Sounds like your aunt needs to get rid of her husband because he's just going to keep losing her money.

[@thefallennero5265]

Story 1: I'm curious how easily OP's husband gave in to their daughter because what the daughter did to SIL's senior dog is unforgiveable. OP making sure SIL filed a police report may be heartbreaking, but it could hopefully stop daughter from doing something similar to another animal

[@bluecrocodilus6594]

There feels like there is a lot more going on and OP left out details about her daughter from potential past events. There really feels like there is something more sinister going on with the daughter. Hope she gets the help she needs and the Bipolar diagnosis is the correct one.

[@ScientificChicken-nb9cq]

The giving in by the husband, maybe also OP in the past, probably happened before a lot of times, seeing how easily she used the "I can't work cuz of social anxiety." I also think that keeping her from school probably wasn't the right option, cuz now she's even more isolated. But ofc we can't really judge about that cuz we don't know how bad it really was. Let's hope the next years she'll be able to grow so she'll be able to work in the future when she's an adult.

[@pippo17173]

​@ScientificChicken-nb9cq I honestly wonder if both op and husband are like higher middle class. Like they are somewhat loaded. This feels close to that and the daughter is a result of not putting her in an environment where she can grow and all.

[@yinyang172]

I feel OP's husband gave in because the ESA will "fix" his daughter and she'll no longer have the anxiety problem. He might be hoping for a serious change not knowing how an ESA actually works.

[@bellasmom2597]

Hubby is aan animal abuser too.

[@sandydandy7863]

Story 1: NTA yeah hell no, if she would act like that with the senior dog, what's gonna stop her from pulling the same stunt or worse with the service dog after the 'novelty' of a service dog fades?

[@ShieldofApollo]

Yep that’s a big worry

[@faeb.9618]

she doesn't want a service dog, she wants a cool new puppy for the novelty and the online likes, she will not take care of any dog she gets or worse, also start doing stupid stunts with that dog for likes because "it's her dog she can do what she wants". i'm sure she won't even actually have the dog be a service dog or keep up with any training necessary

[@Flufferz626]

​@@faeb.9618it said it would be an ESA so no formal training is involved. Aka something for her TikTok likes. I have social anxiety but wouldn't dare mistreat a dog to this degree (heck, my career is in pet grooming and vet). I'm sorry but that girl does sound slightly sociopathic.

[@MazzaEliLi7406]

@@Flufferz626 Slightly?

[@Yume10605]

Oh my God we know who is the golden child in story 2. Not only is op being bailed out by his mom he is stealing from his sister inherentance

[@loganjoh1]

The therapist not seeing how much of a problem that is that the daughter did that to a dog and still thinks she should have a service animal makes it clear they need a new career I’m not even a therapist and I can tell that is a major red flag and an innocent dog should go nowhere near that child for the foreseeable future

[@llcdrdndgrbd]

There is no universe in which an ESA is an absolute medical necessity.

[@nani.des.ka-12]

Story 1: Also, I doubt the daughter told the whole truth, did she mention she was the one who put the dog on the roof (Dangerous), having it so scared it defeated, and it fell and I hurt herself. And if the therapist DOES know , they're a terrible therapist.

[@kateajurors8640]

There are so many red flags in the story. One doctors don't just randomly recommend dogs. They don't always know if you're allergic or not. I know they should, but they don't always also, they don't know if anyone else in your family has allergies. They don't know if there's any deep-seated trauma in the family. There's a bunch of reasons why they don't recommend something that typically cost. Most people $50000 out-of-pocket and have to spend months in training for themselves to know the proper commands. Most people just want the medication and the easier thing to deal with. Most people have a hard enough time affording their meds. Let alone a vet bill every year to keep the animal up-to-date on vaccines and even then, service dogs are only good for about 6 to 8 service years. Yes, they can serve outside of those years, but it's kind of like you start getting Arthritis and getting old and you can't do as much of the work anymore. Also, the therapist really freaking out about forcing her to get a job.I'm sorry this kid does not have enough social anxiety to admit her staying home.I don't care the reason why is becau. Because she seems to be very manipulative and I don't doubt that she's not manipulating the therapist. They're human, they only see for an hour to a week at most. They can easily be manipulated by a mask and by stories. And often are by Nand I'm starting to think that's what this girl is. She's just manipulating the world around her to get what she wants to do whatever she wants. Whether it's some TikTok prank, video or what else I have seen kids like this. I know we've all grown up with that weird kid. That somehow manages to manipulate everybody. And get away with it time and time again. I'm seeing that with this girl but not in the text. But between the seems highly manipulative and her parents are likely going to get a divorce. Because of this issue, I just find it funny that the mom is more upset about the sister-in-law's dog than her own brother.The husband in this story

[@nikkismith2858]

Husband is probably agreeing to shut the kid up. Agree the therapist must’ve been lied to or manipulated. Do not want to think she would do to a service dog towards the end of its working life- Like if it develops arthritis - like you’re not as good as you used to be and push it off a roof in the hope of getting a brand new replacement dog.

[@jmac5951]

S1: OP's daughter has no empathy. She feels pity only for herself.

[@nathanhinman9069]

Story 2: Divorce, that is the only way that relationship is going to resolve itself. The complete irresponsibility to his wife, child, in-laws, mother and sister all over a 52 year old truck purchased for the price that a more reasonable car could be bought for out of funds he literally didn't have. What a complete and utter A-hole.

[@swiftninja91]

Story 1 - Yeah, no. NTA. I am autistic and have massive social anxiety. There is no way in hell I'd ever scare my cat for any reason. EVER. The husband is an enabling idiot.

[@natashamwangi4890]

Story 2: i cant imagine being married to that man. I would just scream at random intervals all day and night

[@greendiamondglow]

OP 2 BETTER NOT touch the college fund in the inevitable divorce. He's just so okay with financially screwing the women around him. His mom is an enabler, but his wife? His daughter? His sister? Who cares how they feel about it?

[@jessweaver5713]

I’m absolutely appalled at the therapist. A service dog for social anxiety is NOT a medical necessity. If it was we’d all have one. I’ve had extreme social anxiety since I was a child and I’m not 40. I have a job in education working with students with additional needs. I have had to learn resilience. Thank god my parents didn’t coddle me and provided me with reassurance and motivation to go forward and do what I do. The daughter has worse issues than anxiety, we all know the red flags of anyone who willingly harms an animal

[@faithbyrge484]

I really like the fact that you referred to your students as people with additional needs why does special needs come out so much? I have additional needs as well because I'm blind, but I don't lay on it and make people feel sorry for me what is going on with that girl she needs some intensive in resident therapy to get rid of that lack of empathy she has none. I'm 60, and I suffer from all kinds of stuff but I won't let them fill me with that poisonous crap called what they call medication that's not medication that's dummy pills some people need them, but I feel there are things outside of the pharmacy that can do me better like having a dog but I grew up with empathy in mind and I'm not psycho

[@softsounds8453]

God I wish my therapists gave out services dogs that easily. I've got depression and anxiety bad enough on some days that just being around people makes my mind shut down and for me to start crying. But the thing is, I don't need a service dog. I need an Emotional Support Animal, or an ESA. (Or at least I think I don't need a service pup) An ESA is just a normal animal that is required to be allowed to live with you for your own emotional and mental state. They're not trained like service dogs. They don't have a task they perform. They're just a cat or a dog or a horse or a rabbit or a whatever that keeps you stable. I'm surprised that therapist was ready to say 'Service Dog' so quickly and not just 'ESA'. That girl would have to train that service dog to fit her needs and I don't think she can do that.

[@nikkismith2858]

I’m side eyeing the therapist! I don’t think it’s a good idea to have a support animal.

[@oakenshadow6763]

Story 1: The therapists saying the daughter should get a service dog after showing that level of sociopathic ideology towards animals is terrifying. They are ignoring a major problem. She said a dog her own aunt loved was of no value. She said a living thing was of no value. She is not a safe person, and not only doesn't deserve to be around animals, but needs to be kept away from them. ESA are not protected by the ADA. It won't help her in her everyday life, as it can't come with her. And home schooling is part of the problem! She needs to be in a group. They are making it worse. She has no freinds, no connections to get her to have empathy. She severely injured, almost killed, an animal. That is a sign of major issues, and they both are failing her. The father the most. But the mother isn't much better for letting the daughter wallow for so long in her isolation. Stop isolating kids.

[@Lauria2875]

Unfortunately she was being isolated under recommendation of her therapist. She needs a new therapist and if she doesn't already have one, a rescue med for the panic attacks.

[@impishrebel5969]

Homeschooling is not part of the problem, if you remember OP took her out of school because of her social anxiety. And it does not make it worse. It gives them more control over the situations and how to desensitize the daughter to social situations. If they were isolating her the entire incident at her aunt's house wouldn't have happened. And it also isn't "too late" for her to go to public school either, I did the last year of high school. I know neither point has any merit or scientific backing because I and everyone I knew homeschooling have no social anxiety from being educated at home, and personally I do not have any problems speaking my mind or functioning in society as I learned social skills from people who ACTUALLY had them, aka adults. What "social skills" are you going to learn from other kids that are terrible or worse than yours, and may give you bad habits? You learn by interacting and mimicry, you don't miraculously pick up the proper ques unless you're interacting with someone that ACTUALLY knows them. This is why so many adults who graduated the system have strange habits or maladjusted socially. The whole thing about going to public school to socialize or the ever classic "but how do you learn to socialize??" is a fallacy and made up to shoot down homeschooling with no real science or backing because districts are desperate to squash it as an alternative option and control the narrative of what people learn. You might think that's some conspiracy level bs but please turn your attention to what conservatives are literally doing right now in the public school sector regarding content and curriculum, and what schools are and are not allowed to teach; it's VERY much real. Plus, based on everyone's experiences with school-related reddit posts, people still end up with zero social skills (and terrible grammar) even when they do graduate public school. If I had a penny for every reddit post saying "I hate confrontation/have terrible social skills/I was bullied at school and isolated/" I'd be very rich.

[@oakenshadow6763]

@@impishrebel5969 Their version of homeschooling, in this post, is isolation. I also know a lot of people who are home schooled. Of these people, there are two groups: One that did group work with other home schooled kids and families, but still are homeschooled. The second had no outside interaction outside family. The latter complain that they didn't get interactions with their age group, and were left out of their generations behaviour and norms. In this specific case, they are homeschooling her in isolation from peers. Family is not enough to be rounded. It leaves you behind from society and with nothing but one point of view: That of your parents. And parents are not perfect. None are. They have biases, preferences, flaws, hyperfixations, prejudance, or just places they don't know enough to teach what you need socially. I went to special ed schools untill my final year of high school. It did stunt me socially AND emotionally. I act too old to fit in, while also being imature and ignorant of issues my generation faces because I never saw them growing up. It has taken years to correct, and only after interacting with small groups of others my actual age, then when I got a job and was forced to "grow up" fast. (Learn to not mimic my parents) They are doing homeschooling wrong and stunting her. Socializing with adults isn't enough. You need to interact with many ages to be properly rounded socially, emotionally, and mentally. She has no one but her parents, aunt, and therapist. A therapist who wants an animal abuser to have a dog and after years has made no progress with her issues (and failed to diagnose her bipolar). A father who who is ignoring a major issue that could get her arrested (animal abuse). An aunt who no longer trusts her and has filed charges, justifiably. And a mother who is over course correcting because she now realizes her lack of appropriate action. Finally, a child who is being isolated too much, left behind socially and mental health wise (introverts can still learn socially without drowning, I am one) and think a literal crime is okay. A safe space shouldn't be this small. This kid is being failed. I get your point that home schooled DOES work, when done right. This is not that. This is isolation and social neglect.

[@amberrost2665]

​@@oakenshadow6763As someone who did have a stint of being homeschooled and social anxiety: You are making a LOT of assumptions. For one: there are ways to socialize outside of school. Hell a lot of my socializing is with online friends. It's less pressure, and still just as good as we get in call to talk, play games, or watch movies. For two: Do you KNOW that they're "isolating" her? Are they FORCING her to not go outside, not go to the park, for a walk, so on? No?? Mom didn't FORCE me to stay home. I was homeschooled thanks to bullying and mental health issues, but Mom still coaxed me to go outside, go for walks, talk with people if I can. But she didn't force me as the level of control HELPED my social anxiety. I then made the decision that my mom made sure I did want but then got me in to go back to public school for High School. I, a socially anxious teen who'd been homeschooled for Middle School, made my own choice to switch back to public school to try and make local friends and socialize more. Because I felt comfortable making that choice. Because I wasn't forced. Now their daughter seems like the type who'd rather use any excuse to not improve. But FORCING her to go to public school probably won't help. She doesn't need an ESA with her behavior. But she is legitimately disabled. I think they should try to take her to things like arcades, give her that option. Places with people her age but supervised. Or as they are now getting her to work. But no they aren't isolating her. Again, if they were she'd have never had the chance to hurt that poor dog. And you don't KNOW if they had other means to get her out in society they didn't say as it wasn't relevant to the post.

[@oakenshadow6763]

@@amberrost2665 I NEVER said to force her into public school. Never. It would not work for her. I am saying they are doing homeschool wrong in this situation. With the info given, she has no social interaction with her age group. I know homeschooled people. My one and only freind is homeschooled. But she does co-homeschooling. With other homeschooled people. There is a wrong and tight way to do it. I made all my comments based on the info in the post. Homeschooling CAN work. But certain things can not be taught by adults. It just can't. I am sorry I struck a nerve. It was not my goal. I just see a child being failed in a way I have seen and heard SO many times. And that struck a nerve with me. Especially as she is being failed similarly to how I was with my parents enabling me to isolate and cripple myself socially and emotionally. Force is wrong. But failing to encourage a kid is too. It is letting them miss out on something that they will, without dental or doubt, need in the future. Social skills are learned many ways, not just in school. I learned mine in Discord groups. From what we read, this child has none of that, and it WILL hurt her. Same as it hurt me. Finally, she is being imitated from all but family, ACORDING TO WHAT IS IN THE POST. Isolation here is their enabling her to lock herself in. I did the same thing. And my parents let me, and it still causes me problems. I am speaking from experiance as someone who went to a special education school since kindergarten, untill my final year of high school. I am disabled. But there are ways to socialize even then. And I wasn't given the encouragement I should have been. And that counts as neglect in many places for a reason. It is a parent's duty to help their kids succeed. And you need some level of social skills for that. It is a necessity. Not an option. Not helping her learn that is neglect. Same as it was with my parents.

[@HackiePuffs]

“My daughters therapist said it’s wrong to completely take the service dog idea off the table considering it’s a medical necessity” first of all treating an animal like an object maybe this is where the daughter got it from. But also no it isn’t?? It’s just one of many options. More therapy, anxiety coping strategies, medication, etc. Never mind maybe it’s daddy dearest who is teaching her that he can protect her from consequences

[@lizthedisjointedzebra692]

I have severe GAD, Panic Disorder, ADHD, and depression. And I was NEVER coddled like this. I was actually held responsible for my own actions, and I am thankful to my parents that I was. And how would she feel if she were abused and he told "oh, it's fine you were abused as you aren't a 'high value human' like someone that's mentally stable". Surely she would be hurt and think she deserves respect, right?

[@WolfODonnelfan]

@@lizthedisjointedzebra692 Hell, I have Anti-Social Personality Disorder (aka the personality disorder that could explain, though not exuse, this kind insane behaviour) as well as Schizophrenia (been dealing with both for at least 18 years+) and I have NEVER behaved like this towards an animal, even worse against an old animal that isn't even yours. And then she justifies her actions because 'the dog is old', like wtf? If your kid can torture other peoples pets for TikTok clout and be totally cool with their behaviour, then I'm seriously beginning to doubt her anxiety disorder. Maybe she just has high anxiety because people treat her (deservedly) like shit because she is TRYING to be the worst kid ever. Are we certain that her main issue in life isn't actally anxiety, but rather the fact that shes a straight up evil person?

[@lauragray9064]

So she's so stressed out she's throwing up & having panic attacks...good!... now she knows how that poor dog felt !!!!

[@jaimejones3177]

2: Geez...I get why the bronco was special. My dad left me a truck when he died and I ended up having to sell it and it crushed me every time I saw it years later all beat to hell and unloved...BUT...Id have NEVER cleaned out my accounts to get it back. Especially not with a spouse and new baby. Your priorities need to change... you have a child and a wife to consider. I'm sorry OP.. but you ARE the AH. ❤

[@maurer3d]

And the fact that that he way over paid for it too. But even if he was only paying $2k (a more realistic value) for it he should have talked it over with his wife, and never should have touched the college money.

[@jaimejones3177]

@@maurer3d yeah... exactly

[@darlenefraser3022]

1. It’s not a “service dog” but an emotional support dog and is NOT a necessity. 2. Yes, parents are their children’s therapists. They’ve allowed social media to raise that kid and are now reaping the benefits.

[@eb8708]

It sounds like the girl learned those attitudes from social media. The appropriate action would be to deny her social media.

[@iononcantomascrivo]

Also, let's not ignore the fact that the father keeps undermining OP every step of the way and it's creating a dichotomy in their relationship. If he keeps it up the coddling towards their daughter, while turning a blind eye towards her behavior, I can only surmise that OP will eventually submit an update about how she got a divorce and got full custody of their daughter. I think that's probably the only way her daughter will stand even the remotest of chances of having a somewhat normal adult life.

[@mbyerly9680]

OP took away her phone, but I'm sure the dad is giving it to her when mean mommy is elsewhere.

[@foureyedelf6151]

This is why Tiktok needs to be banned. Not because of the whole China thing, but because it promotes sadistic and destructive behavior and normalizes and idolizes such behavior. It's not just kids who should avoid it but childish adults as well. How many stories have we heard of dangerous Tiktok vids causing product recalls, injuries, firings and breakups/divorce?

[@eb8708]

They don't teach critical thinking in schools anymore, the teachers are too busy babysitting unparented children. The IPad generation is going to have a rough awakening in the adult world.

[@BbiBbii]

@@foureyedelf6151This argument can be used with every social media. All socials have child controls, and childish adults who are stupid enough to do dangerous acts belong behind bars. At that point their stupidity is dangerous to the public. Either way I don’t think social media is the only issue with the kid in the first story, the dad is enabling her & undermining OP at every step. The dad is going to raise a serial killer.

[@reyjones6472]

I'm confused. How would a bipolar diagnosis explain animal abuse and rule out sociopathy? I thought bipolar was just an emotional regulation issue, not like.. rationalizing it's ok to torture and terrify an elderly, helpless living creature because 'nobody cares about him, he's just a shelter dog'.

[@magicalmomo9987]

Bipolar Disorder can cause risky impulsive behavior as well as bad decisions. Empathy can also be impaired as well. It doesn't help that she hasn't been socialized in some years and will continue to not be on the recommendation of the psychologist since it's too late for her to make friends in school. It's also clear that her behavior stems from that and too much TikTok. They can try another psychologist but it'll probably be the same diagnosis. If she's never shown the surprising lack of empathy or impulsive behavior before to the point that her mother was surprised by it then I doubt it was a regular enough occurance to assume sociopathy. The tests psychologists do are pretty thorough too, and I doubt she would be able to hide any sociopathic behaviors, they're relatively observant.

[@angelaa7388]

As someone with bipolar II, I can confirm that it does not cause me to harm animals and feel no remorse. This girl felt no remorse until the dog refused to go near her, which made her sad, allegedly. I think she just learned that acting without empathy gets her into trouble, so she's going to fake it to make it look like she's learned a lesson.

[@wrenross5315]

@@magicalmomo9987 I scrolled down to look for a comment like yours because so many people are just writing her off as a sociopath. It doesn't excuse her acts but yeah unmedicated mania/hypomania can cause people to do incredibly stupid, reckless things that put themselves or others in danger and they won't realise how bad it is until they come down. I agree completely that undersocialisation led her to this, which is both of her parents' fault really, not just her enabling dad. Empathy is a skill you have to learn and use and her family's house is her whole world, how is she supposed to practice it if she has no one except tiktok to interact with? They don't have pets, she didn't grow up around them, it's bad that she thinks of them in terms of "value" for sure but I understand what led her there. You have to teach children how to properly interact with and care for animals. Young kids will like, smack dogs and pull tails and ears and stick their fingers in their nose because they just don't know better and it's a parent's job to stop them as soon as possible and explain why it's important to be kind and gentle with them instead. This girl obviously never had that experience. imo both parents should get a reality check, pay the sister-in-law's vet bills themselves, and sign their daughter up for some (supervised) nature classes or volunteer work so she can learn all these empathy lessons she missed out on. Being a waitress isn't doing her any favours either.

[@dragomina]

​@@wrenross5315 I agree. Whatever else than social anxiety is going on with the daughter, forcing her into social situations she hasn't learned the coping skills for is a recipe for further traumatization and more social anxiety. It seems that her therapist doesn't think she is ready for a job. No one can learn/heal properly if constantly pushed into the panic zone.

[@poetryqn]

I would guess that extreme social anxiety has NOTHING to do with intentionally harming an animal. This kid has far more serious problems than have been diagnosed.

[@gremlinwife4326]

I was about to say, her actions are more in line with severe antisocial personality disorder, possibly more. She needs another evaluation following this, her lack of care for and remorse of the elder dog is extremely alarming. I think getting a second opinion from a different therapist is necessary, the underwhelming response and criticism from the therapist for how they handled that situation is setting off alarm bells. A teen girl with a severe anxiety disorder who hurts and animal and doesn't feel remorse needs to be reevaluated immediately.

[@gremlinwife4326]

Additionally: bipolar disorder and psychopathy can be confused for one another depending on the severity. Psychopathy becomes evident in early adolescent years and one of the signs is creulty to animals. It's entirely possible that, given the enabling of the therapist and father, the social anxiety may not actually be as bad as the daughter is making it out to be, and it's entirely possible that she's learned that if she behaves consistently with severe anxiety disorder, she can get out of school, not have to get a job, and essentially do whatever she wants. I can't say for sure that's what's going on here but it's consistent with the literature.

[@nikkismith2858]

Could be comorbidity having more than one mental disorder anxiety + anti social personality disorder

[@SardonicJackrabbit]

I professionally train dogs, and in the past 4 years have delved deeply into service dog training, every single dog I've ever begun training had come from accidental litters or rescue situations.(Only 2 puppies have ever been selected for true service training) Dogs can be lovingly shaped into fantastic companions despite their backgrounds and no animal deserves to be seen like First story OPs daughter sees them. The novelty would wear off as all dogs require the same respect an she will traumatize the dog down the line doing a ridiculous online stunt for views.

[@mari-mari-yasno]

I suffer from anxiety disorder and would never go on the roof with a dog. There are so many bad things that can happen there. 1. I can fall off the roof, hurt myself and people will laugh at me 2. Something bad can happen to the dog: guilt + shame for me 3. I can somehow break the roof, I will have to somehow compensate for it, I will be judged. I rather need to gather up the courage to do something outside the "safe space". In particularly difficult times, it was hard for me to simply leave the house

[@JuniperJadePR]

I was thinking the exact same thing.

[@Feynix4]

I have severe chronic anxiety, and I was thinking these exact same things. Plus I would NEVER want to put another living being through something like that.

[@zebnemma]

I have a feeling the story is fake overall. As someone that has (or used to) have crippling anxiety, it doesn't make any sense to me how she has such bad anxiety from being homeschooled? What traumas has she experienced while being at home? Unless the parents are the abusers hmmmmmmmm????? Also when my anxiety was super bad I would get fired within the first week usually. My record is I once got fired on the first day! Most jobs don't care about your mental health struggles, when I went outside to take breaks so often because I was struggling not to break down they thought I was lazy bum. If you even say you have anxiety in the interview they will never hire you to begin with so you are forced to hold it in and never tell anyone!

[@cookiedough641]

same and I agree with the above and would add 4. people could see me up on the roof and I avoid attracting attention 5. if I get injured I'd be sooo embarrassed explaining it to the paramedics 6. posting this cruel stupid video on social media will likely result in an angry backlash I couldn't handle

[@reedforrest8027]

@@zebnemmaeither the story is fake or she doesn’t have a proper diagnosis because she’s “smart” enough and good enough at manipulating to trick them into giving her a diagnosis to basically get away with everything and not have to go to school. I have a feeling her diagnosis is straight up wrong and she is more like borderline personality disorder or straight up sociopathy. Applying value to the senior dog like it was an object seems like she did a risk reward analysis and deemed the risk of harming the dog as worth it because harming something she doesn’t value for internet clout is high benefit low risk. She forgot that other people will place different value on the dog than she did which is where her risk reward analysis failed her. Doing that type of analysis is classic sociopathy and harming animals is one of the most prominent signs of ASPD.

[@kizzykiz]

Story 1: NTA. OP’s kid should never be trusted around any animal or any human younger than her for that matter. As a licensed therapist myself, that therapist is extremely irresponsible to be encouraging the emotional support animal after that incident. That’s exposing the animal to animal cruelty. Wtf.

[@PassiveSmoking]

I was originally going to go on a rant along the lines of "If she needed a respirator, would it be OK to deny her a respirator because she acted out? If she needed a wheelchair, would it be OK to deny her a wheelchair because she acted out? If she needed insulin, would it be OK to deny her insulin because she acted out?" Then the other shoe dropped, and that all went out the window. This must be the strongest example of a title that makes OP sound like the a-hole when OP isn't the a-hole.

[@Floratic]

That just comes off like your original stance wasn't strong enough. Also, I find those examples completely unrelated. Treated social anxiety with an emotional support dog is a want and not a need. There are other options available to treat social anxiety.

[@despinasgarden.4100]

​@@Floratic the big diference with the weelchair and the respirator examples is that those are objects that, while expensive, can be replaced if they break or don't function acording to plan. A servise animal is a LIVING being that is performing a job, you can't just treat it like a medical device or an object.

[@faeb.9618]

an emotional support animal is not a medical necessity though. it can help, but it's not necessary like a guide dog or a dog that detects seizures/allergens/episodes. the example still wouldn't have worked because she's not gonna die for being denied having a dog, while someone being denied insulin or a respirator have the potential of serious medical complications and someone being denied a wheelchair is being denied freedom of movement. seriously, emotional support and service animal are nowhere near the same level, and emotional support animals don't have anything close to the amount of protection service animals do, they're not covered under ada and can be refused access to places. they're good and provide help but they're not on the same level

[@damien678]

​@@faeb.9618 Just want to say that there is a difference between an emotional support animal and a service dog that's trained to help with symptoms of mental illnesses, like severe anxiety. There is actual utility one with severe anxiety, PTSD, autism, etc. can gain from a genuine service dog.

[@ScientificChicken-nb9cq]

"I can't work cuz of social anxiety." So what are you gonna do then? Stay home and wait until you reach retiring age? 🙄 I get it's hard to have a disability, but it's not an excuse to stop doing things for yourself.

[@kateajurors8640]

I have legit disabilities and wasn't diagnosed with autism until my mid-thirties. I remember someone literally telling me when I kind of joked about it and I was joking about who knows what I have bringing up bipolar and other things, but they literally interrupted me when I said autism and said no, you can't have that you're making eye contact with me. I remember hearing those words and it shut me down so much. And so hard cause I had heard these issues from other friends. And I was so disheartened, but it seems like nowadays, social anxiety are just not feeling comfortable around people or whatever reason is there reason. Many people aren't getting jobs, but you'll find. They can get jobs as soon as they hit the wall. But you'll also find there are tons of people Out There. Willing to support them for at least a little while and they'll bounce around and couch hop. And maybe have a good life in their young 20s. But once they hit 30, everybody's sick and tired of taking care of them. It breaks my heart because I know what you have to do to get out of those kind of slumpsome things but I also know how easy it is. If people just enable you to fall into them but at the same time I don't think that's what this girl has. I think she's a f****** manipulative. Psychopath, that is doing everything to get whatever she wants. She's even got the therapist and her dad who don't spend all their time with her and soon. Do only see her for a few hours.Really got her wrapped around her finger.Whereas the mom who spends all the time with her is the only one holding her accountable

[@royal_stray7734]

@@ScientificChicken-nb9cq If we ignore the rest of the story. Yes some people actually have to do that. In most cases though people like that do stay at home for a few years while they get the help they need to reenter society. At least if it's sever enough to count as a disability

[@TheCheaPet]

That girl may have social anxiety but there's something more terribly wrong with her.

[@jimdob6528]

wtf… I am a pretty terrible person myself and think this “child” needs a brutal reality check.

[@JasperCatProductions]

The truck….dude this is divorce worthy……disgusting. You stole from your family, on paper and in reality you are a thief.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

OMG, the 2nd guy who owned the Bronco saw that sucker coming a mile away. In no universe is a 50+ yr old Bronco worth over 20K. OP is TA for several reasons. He overpaid for a fetish or token of his dad, to the detriment of his existing family.

[@MizMorgue1]

Agreed. He actually said that stupid truck meant "everything" to him. Not his marriage. Not his kid. A truck. Why couldn't he at the very least, talk to his wife? Oh, right, because the truck was "everything". OP is selfish and thoughtless. If wife doesn't leave him, she better keep a solid eye on his behavior, get a job, and prepare for the worst.

[@janet6421]

He at least needs to be taken off all joint accounts. Put him on an allowance with his own bank account and never give him access to more without permission.

[@defender4004]

His in-laws gave him money for his daughter and he blew it on a car he didn’t even need. He is a thief.

[@MrJpaynebb]

This is definitely a memorable story. Really hope we get another update when his latest lies blow up in his face. The man stole $12k from his daughter and he thinks his wife is upset and hormonal still from child birth?😂😂 At a minimum the wife needs to get separated finances and to make sure OP can only deposit money in their kids trust. He can never have control of it.

[@zarahfrancisco3734]

I'm pretty sure they've got bigger problems other than their kid's anxiety. Isn't animal cruelty a common trait of serial killers? good lord!

[@shaylynbarnes1837]

I’m sitting here wondering how she wasn’t charged for animal cruelty?? Like everyone around is just acting like this isn’t a big deal.

[@ScientificChicken-nb9cq]

It was mentioned in other Reddit stories before that it does start with animal cruelty at child age yea...

[@rf159a]

@@shaylynbarnes1837 "But mom it was TicToc!!"/s

[@aikikaname6508]

Story 2: What is with OP? Mummy rode in and fixed his stupid decision for him, but he only went and dug himself a new and uneccesssry hole! This isn’t a lie he has any chance of getting away with, because unless his wife is brain dead as soon as that car appears in front of her again she’s gonna KNOW he lied

[@heatherweir8726]

Story one. Op should move out and let the dad deal with her all on his own. I really hope the daughter doesn't get the dog.

[@charlottehancock76]

Id also get a motion filed to block either the dad or daughter from being able to get an animal and use the police report to support it. Theres no way i could leave i didnt do something to prevent them from getting a dog aside from contacting every provider in the area

[@royal_stray7734]

@@heatherweir8726 OP should call the local and within range breeders, shelters, and contact wherever they're applying for the dog from and tell them that the daughter is a danger to animals

[@ayanaatthrivebewhole]

I'm a teacher and a parent, and this first story is so heartbreaking. Sometimes what parents forget, is that they are raising future adults, not their babies. We love on our kids, but we hold boundaries that they can grow and evolve into wonderful adults.

[@speedygun198]

I'm running out of these to listen to at work. Been listening to the ones from 3 years ago and its cool to see the transition in style and format.

[@eb8708]

Same!!

[@nicpage4075]

Right!! Mark has gotten so much better in commentary and delivery.

[@Cats_in_cravats]

I do the same thing! I listen while I'm working and while I'm doing hobbies and I'm afraid I'm going to run out of videos soon! He's my absolute favorite KZbinr who reads these. Everyone else takes 12 years to get through each story because they have to stop and react to every single sentence. I really like that Mark gets through the whole story and then gives us his reaction AND reads some comments. Plus, he puts the text on the screen so I can read along if I need to. He really does a fantastic job.

[@InuMokuba]

Story 2: It should only come out of OPs inheritance, I'd be pissed if I was OPs sister.

[@llcdrdndgrbd]

The way it was worded I sort of assumed he meant that mom doesn't have more than 46 k set up. I hope it doesn't mean mom plans to bail him out and just divide up what she has left between him and his sister, that's crap.

[@Starvingmetheartist]

Bronco: There's no way you can justify spending $23k on that. That vehicle is not worth it. There's no way.

[@maurer3d]

This.... Maybe $2k in good condition.

[@rosebellewaihenya4888]

Am sorry but all sociopaths start by hurting animals and feeling no remorse.

[@YellaBellaReno]

That’s psychopaths, I believe.

[@truthseeker9249]

​@@YellaBellaRenoboth actually. On one hand Both psycho and socios feel no remorse for hurting animals and one the other hand they kind of enjoy it despite not feeling very many emotions.

[@charlotteautumn4177]

This is actually insane. I was babysitting my toddler siblings when I was her age and I can't imagine being stupid enough to put them in harm's way

[@Loubear23]

Story 2 is ultimate Golden Child! Stay tuned for sisters post of ‘AITA for going no contact with my mother after she gave my brother my inheritance’… what a prick!

[@DFullerLisa]

She can get a job in housekeeping. The therapist should be looking at diagnosing her with a disorder not excusing it along with her husband.

[@tdl487]

That's actually a good job for those who have trouble with interacting with people. When I was a housekeeper one of my coworkers had a psychological disorder but she was the best at stripping linen and bedmaking. She was only allowed to clean vacant rooms so she never had to talk to customers, just staff members. Though most places require you to be 18 to do so there's that.

[@DFullerLisa]

@tdl487 I have level one autism and there's good companies that you can work independently so long as cleaning is done well and efficiently. Housekeeping dependent on the organization is very routine and structured.

[@LordBison98]

Story 1: I really don't understand where that came from... Why is she so cruel? That said she shall not get a service dog at least until she gets an intense therapy for this horrible behaviour and SHOWS she has changed. God, those words were awful... UPDT: Well that was a twist for me- Bipolar... Oh my god the husband is a spineless hag.

[@bunnyslippers191]

I have the hardest form of Bipolar Disorder to treat and stabilize, Bipolar Type 1 Rapid Cycling and no animal ever in my care has *ever* suffered a single broken bone through deliberate action or even my accidental actions. Stepped on paws and tails from getting underfoot when I didn't know they were right behind me as I was washing dishes at the sink and stepped back? Yes. Stepped on paws when they ran between my legs trying to get to the kitchen first? Yes. Stepped on paws when they were just running to another room "Because Cat?" Yes. Spilled hot coffee on an ear when my 60 pound dog jostled me playing "Chase" with her brother the cat- (he was chasing her-they took turns chasing each other across the living room, up the stairs, then back down the stairs and across the living room)? Yes. Those things happen to the short, furry ones, and I feel terrible when it happens. Deliberately putting an animal in danger or hurting them? No.

[@zombieparrot2606]

I feel like doing whatever the opposite of what that kids therapist recommends is the way to go. Like forcing her to actually be around people and learn to interact with them is what will help her. Not enabling her by keeping her locked away from the world because she has “anxiety.”

[@max-nq6kk]

As someone with severe social anxiety who has though about service animals/esa's that girl does not need one at all. She needs to be in a program to help with social anxiety rather then being babied. I have had to go through programs to help me build up a tolerance. I also have grown up in a home full of animals and no one who would do that to an animal should have access to one. The husband is just so wrong and makes me believe that he isn't willing to put up a fight with his daughter and push for things she actually needs. Instead it feels more like he is babying her. Shes 15 and i was in her shoes a few years ago. She should know better and needs to get out in the world or else her anxiety is just going to get worse.

[@dwtardisallonsy]

Story 1: It took me 6 years after being diagnosed to get a grip and get control of my bipolar disorder. In that time, I was extremely volatile and could barely take care of myself, much less an animal, and I never displayed that degree of willingness to do harm to a living creature or callousness about something so horrific. I was able to adopt a dog as an ESA after I had begun intensive medical and therapeutic treatment and was more able to give care and love. OP is right to stand in the way of her daughter getting a dog, especially given her behavior. The dog very well might give the daughter some emotional comfort, but it is clear that there are much bigger issues to tackle before they need to get a living creature involved. Think of it this way: if the dog gets sick, will she decide it’s no longer valuable and leave it to vomit or soil itself? If the answer to that is even “maybe,” there’s no way she should be allowed to have one.

[@Benjami.n567]

As somebody with severe social anxiety/phobia I'm curious as to why her care team never did any exposure therapy

[@cami1700]

exposure therapy, a psychiatrist, meds, behavioral therapy... so many ways to go about on this one. But sheltering the kid won't do her favors if her anxiety is this bad. Just a therapist alone won't do her any favors.

[@Benjami.n567]

@@cami1700 exactly they just isolated her, and that makes things so much worse. She'll never be able to function as an adult if she doesnt get actual help soon. Huge failure on her parents and care team

[@Ashbrash1998]

Probably because she doesn't have one, it sounds like the parents just left it to the therapist to deal with it. Then did things like homeschool and etc to make her quiet and not deal with her anxiety. I almost want to say they kept putting band aids on everything instead of actually treating her.

[@Onionfries-cz4wo]

I don’t think she has social anxiety…Sounds awful, and I get it but they way the post flowed sounded more like the daughter found a loophole and a way to play everyone. Idk, the post read more as sociopathic than social anxiety.

[@SaltTectonics]

​@Onionfries-cz4wo the story sounds fake as hell, 1. I get the dog is small but how on earth did she get on the roof with said dog? 2. For being in therapy of 5 years how was she not given any medication to aid her? 3. Idc how honest someone is i doubt they would ever just say, "this dog has no value" without that attitude being present in other aspects of life, especially with a parent that is homeschooling a kid. 4. Being sent home from a restaurant job so often in such a minimal amount of times would probably get a kid fired (also dishwasher jobs exist) 5. How do you discuss the animal aspect yet not the specifics of what it could do to the point that your therapist is talking about an esa but your talking about a service animal? This reeks of too many reddit tropes with no clear threads / not having experience in this situation

[@kaykay8855]

Story 1: The father, who hasn’t been involved with his daughter’s therapy, wants to take over because he believes that op, who has been involved since the start and who’s been homeschooling their, is unqualified.

[@ScientificChicken-nb9cq]

Also, if OP has been home these last 5 years to homeschool then she probably won't be earning as much as her husband would. I doubt they could just switch careers/SAHperson without getting financial struggles.

[@Draggonny]

Kid from story 1 is going to end up like OP in story 2. No consideration for anyone else in his life (wife, daughter, sister mother) due to being babied from the consequences of their actions. All's well that ends well so long as he comes out on top.

[@nikkismith2858]

I predict an incoming divorce though….their finances will probably be dicey for a while

[@nikkismith2858]

I wouldn’t trust the girl in number one with a baby /child

[@Cupcakee0330]

Story 2: Why did he sell the Bronco in the first place when he was 19 years old? If he had such a huge connection to it why do it? While we can understand the emotional aspect, he went on with his life without thinking about that car or buying another Bronco. AH.

[@MrJpaynebb]

He sold it at 19 because he was an idiot like many, not all but many, 19yr old are. Have a coworker who traded in his classic late 60's V8 Mustang in the 90's for V6 Mustang convertible. Why? Cause he wanted a convertible. Dude regrets that decision more than a 25yrs later.

[@gngrblls2thwall]

His dad was alive when he sold it. He didn't need the truck to remind him of his dad because his dad was there to remind him of his dad.

[@TH-hy9kr]

I have pretty severe anxiety. My parents expected me to particpate in axtivities, work, and get over it. I had therapy and developed good coping mechanisms. I still have anxiety, but I do a lot of public speaking in my career. You do what you have to and work to get over it. Anxiety is a diagnosis, not an excuse. And NOTHING is ever excusable to abuse animals.

[@TH-hy9kr]

Adding- I went to 9 different schools before I finished high school and I turned out quite adaptable to change!

[@miridium121]

The difference between a service dog and a support animal is that the former has been trained to perform specific tasks for their owner, while an emotional support animal is there for comfort. A BIG legal difference is that an emotional support animal does not have the same rights as a service animal. Service animals include medical alert dogs, guide dogs, dogs trained to pull a wheelchair and so on. An emotional support animal may be denied entry to restaurants, ubers, stores and so on. A service animal may not. A service animal should however be removed from the premises if it misbehaves. I mention this because there has been a rampant denial of entry for people with actual service dogs over the past few years.

[@videofan1010]

The first story scared me 😢. It makes me feel a little less sympathetic about this girl's social anxiety.

[@skye2578]

Story 1: not only should she NEVER have a service dog, she should get criminal charges. Cancel her homeschooling and put her in public school regardless of her social anxiety. You are babying her.

[@skye2578]

Edit: sorry but service dogs arent a medical necessity for anxiety. If the daughter had a physical illness or disease then yeah that would be a NECESSITY. but a THERAPIST should know better than to act like thats the only thing that can help the daughter. If anything the therapist should be working on how the daughter was so willing to endanger and discount the life of an animal.

[@softsounds8453]

@@skye2578 Depends on how severe the anxiety is. A service dog can be necessary depending on the situation but this isn't one of them. Even if she does match the criteria for needing one (freaking out in public, vomiting from stress, etc.) she cannot care for one.

[@skye2578]

@softsounds8453 she doesn't even want a dog she probably just wants the novelty of one. I've been in almost her exact situation. Years isolated, I barely left the house, could hardly function in public. What they're doing is just coddling her. If her anxiety is THAT bad then she needs heavy medication not a dog she could never take care of.

[@softsounds8453]

@@skye2578 As someone who was on mood stabilizers and depression meds for my social anxiety and depression? Sometimes meds just don't work. Again, it depends on the person. But even if she did fit the criteria she doesn't need a dog purely because she can't take care of it. She doesn't have the right mindset for a dog. EDIT: Forgot to add that I had a job for a good two years that had me in the public eye. It helped with my anxiety some but it still exists and it still fucks with me. Meds don't fix everything but then coddling her definitely isn't helping either

[@damien678]

​@@skye2578 Depends on the type of anxiety. From what we know of hers, it wouldn't be necessary, but for people with things like PTSD, autism, etc. an actual service dog trained to perform tasks could actually be incredibly useful and vastly improve their lives.

[@YellaBellaReno]

S1: Wait just a minute. This girl is 15, and OP pulled her out of school 5 years ago, pre-pandemic, for social anxiety? What? Is that normal? Are therapists really out here suggesting that the best thing for social anxiety in elementary -school children is (checks notes) just to pull them out of social situations? Really??? Huh. I need to process this.

[@Ashbrash1998]

According to what she wrote, OP was the one to pull her out of school. She only got her therapy after that and was working in getting her back in. She doesn't give the exact time she did that in 5 years, but I do find it strange that they are wanting to get her back in school despite her having little to no social skills...at 15 years old.

[@llcdrdndgrbd]

​@Ashbrash1998 yeah this girl is in for a ROUGH future

[@unicorn12345]

S2:buying a $23k car for sentimental reasons is a rich person luxury.

[@yamairad1]

It wasn't his money. He lied to everybody for an old car. This is so divorced worthy.

[@fangchick93]

I'm medicated for a type of bpd, and I would NEVER do such a horrid thing to an animal

[@PaintSplashProductions]

Story 2 should be in r/amithedevil if it isn’t already. That man is going to be a terrible father

[@colorlesscanvas1151]

Maybe a grocery store shelf stocker or bring back carts. Less communication with other people.

[@Passions5555]

This. Or remote work doing data entry.

[@colorlesscanvas1151]

@@Passions5555 well she might be to young for data entry

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

Story 2: I remember story 2, he stole from his wife, in-laws, AND daughter in one fell swoop. Screw that guy.

[@hannahdavis5725]

Oh hell no, she does not deserve an animal if she treats animals like that. That service dog would be unsafe in her hands; also take TikTok away from her.

[@9999plato]

How will a service dog help her in a service job like working as a waitress. There is no way that they will allow a dog to go from table to table or stay in the kitchen and violate health codes. This kid needs to learn to negotiate life on life's terms. Deal with it kid. Life is tough for all teens. It's a dificult time for all. Even the kids with everything going for them on the outside are just as messed up on the inside.

[@AngelJohnson66]

An ESA wouldn't go in to work with her. OP clarified she meant an ESA, not a service animal. The ESA would remain at home and wouldn't be allowed many places out [I have one for severe depression and anxiety and my dog never went to work with me or anything.]

[@F1fangirl96]

@@AngelJohnson66she still doesn’t need one. If she treats an animal that way and express that’s how she views animals, she should never have an animal in her care. Even if it does remain home

[@AngelJohnson66]

@@F1fangirl96 I never said she deserved one. I was clarifying a difference between ESA and service animals

[@F1fangirl96]

@@AngelJohnson66 I know my bad 😅 I didn’t mean for it to come across that way

[@AngelJohnson66]

@F1fangirl96 You're good! I just wanted to make it clear I DEFINITELY don't think she needs an animal 😂

[@heatherdickau5335]

Story 2, the seller of that bronco, was quick to take advantage of this fool. Who in their right mind would buy an old bronco for that much money? Unless it was OJ's escape bronco. I bet the guy lied about the person on the phone. His wife and child deserve so much better.

[@TheLugiaSong]

Damn, now you mention it you're probably right. That's a skeevy tactic... reminds me of the advice my pa gave me about car boot sales, always act less interested in the item then you are so that they're less likely to hike the price when you ask.

[@iononcantomascrivo]

The first story: Absolutely NOT the butthole. I will never shame anyone who has mental health issues, as I have a few myself (Asperger's, anxiety, chronic PTSD), but this sounds like the daughter is spoiled and the parents have let her use her condition as a get out of jail free card for far too long to avoid taking accountability for her actions. Social anxiety or not, hurting an animal is unconscionable and the fact that she was so flippant and blatantly disregarded the harm she caused tells me everything I need to know about her. Having bipolar disorder is irrelevant. I have friends with the condition who are totally functional, responsible, work for a living and take care of their families. They've never once harmed someone else or an animal. Everyone shaming OP for stepping up to the plate (including convincing the sister-in-law to file a police report for the abuse towards her dog) and disciplining her daughter, albeit too little too late, can go kick rocks. Obviously this teenage girl had been enabled for so long, she believes what she did was completely acceptable and shouldn't have to live with the repercussions. I would go even further and declare that she doesn't even know what repercussions, consequences or accountability are. It's clear that the therapist is just squeezing money out of OP and her husband and will say or do anything to continue the sessions thus raking in the dough. Then there's the other piece of the puzzle: OP's husband who undermines everything she does every step of the way. I knew there was a dichotomy in the relationship and the parenting process. This explains it all. It also explains how their daughter has become so spoiled. It would seem, while OP is willing to put forth the effort and raise a productive and responsible member of society, the husband on the other hand, is totally content coddling her and using her condition as a umbrella of protection. Hence leaving her off the hook from ever having to answer for any of her actions. I've seen it firsthand what happens when the spoiled child, grows up and heads out and ventures out in to the real world. Eventually their network of enablers won't be able to save them from the trouble they find themselves in. Sometimes it takes ending up in handcuffs and let in front of a judge for them to get a clue. Then again, sometimes it doesn't.

[@Brittanyknuckles1427]

Yeah that marriage won’t last. That girl sounds like a terror and I’m wayyyyyy on mom’s side. That poor dog

[@angelwhitenight1456]

Oh hell NO, don't let her near anything that needs care, I wouldn't trust her with a plant, let alone a dog or baby

[@maniaclaugh]

She seems the type who would microwave a baby to see what happens then upload it for clout

[@bazzascott8935]

That girl doesn't have social anxiety. Therapist is an enabler, dad is an enabler. Daughter has you wrapped around her little finger. She sounds more like a narcissist with BPD, she 100% did not care or have any remorse untill it effected her.

[@robinronin]

S2: He... stole money from his inlaws, wife, and child to buy a beat up old car...? You can do that when you’re single and childless, dude, not when you have actual other humans to take care of.

[@babybookworm003]

Then he stole from his sister. Can we say op is the golden child in his family

[@Itscaitlinyo]

I am a dog mom to a VERY loved rescued pit bull and I am FURIOUS that anyone would say she has no value

[@kelleyfisher6932]

2 things can be true at once. Young girl has anxiety. Also, she likely has a personality disorder. Callous disregard for another living thing. Callous. Likely her parents have doted on her, gave her pass to any personal responsibility and gives her a pass to wrecking other’s lives. They have unleashed her on family, the family’s dog and some poor restaurant owner. That girl will be a chaos agent but will always say “ I’m “sorry” I hurt you or ruined something, but, you see, I have anxiety.”

[@heatherdickau5335]

Story 1 Emotional support animals do not come from any kind of organization. They are basically any animal that gives comfort to a person. These are the animals that people try to pass as service dogs to take them places.

[@justasmalltowngirllivingin8453]

Have the aunt press charges and then have her work at an animal shelter. She should learn how valuable these shelter dogs are

[@Passions5555]

No! Keep her away from animals

[@TH-hy9kr]

With that police report, she isn't getting anywhere near adoptable dogs, but I have a feeling that OPs husband will get her a puppy from a backyard breeder.

[@pezlover1974]

This evil creature would take it out on the animals.

[@megnotmegan1966]

She willingly chose to be cruel to an animal…no no no. No pets ever!! 😮

[@joeschmo622]

Uhhh, no, The Kid absolutely *IS* a sociopath. Her actions, what she said about The Dog, her complete lack of empathy, etc., that's sociopath territory. She was only "remorseful" not because of what she did, but because she wasn't getting a nice new little doggie to torment.

[@RayvenLunaNite]

She doesn't deserve a dog if she sees shelter dogs as unloved. That was incredibly hurtful and I am so glad that doggie is okay. Girly can get an overnight stocking job on the weekends, when stores are closed. Job problem solved

[@kp2223]

Sunday Morning waffles🧇

[@leahgrimwell1137]

Dude with the truck: I've got some magic beans, I'll let you have them for 50k.

[@marlyrayray1338]

Daughter needs different or better therapy. Social anxiety is not her only problem

[@rylashadow18]

S1) Anyone who harms an animal doesn't deserve to breathe in the same room as animal's. She needs to get a job and pay for the vet bills out of her own pockets. I don't blame ops sister for banning that sociopath. I fully support the police report. Sounds like there's a divorce on the horizon. I'd talk to the SIL about a restraining order against your hubby and child. Sounds to me the daughter is using the diagnosis as a excuse for her behavior and dad is not only enabling it but also doubling down in hopes of placating the rotten brat. S2) Massive AH. Than you take money that money you knew wasn't yours. This would have me looking to get theft charges, divorce, full custody and have it court ordered that you pay every last penny with interest. Op wouldn't be allowed around the child unsupervised as well as his mom. Op is the golden child. The truth always comes to light.

[@Akemi.24-45]

Big hugs, Mark, Poppy, and Waffle gang! ♥️🤗

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

🤗🤗🧇🧇💜💜

[@megnotmegan1966]

Have a great day!❤

[@Akemi.24-45]

@@broken_queer_but_fighting8589 ♥️🤗♥️🤗♥️🤗♥️🤗♥️🤗♥️🤗

[@Akemi.24-45]

@@megnotmegan1966 You too, have a great day! ♥️🤗

[@timemonkey]

S2: UP doesn't realize the long term damage this has done to his relationship with his wife and her family. They will never trust him again and to make it worse he's now lying further so that'll break things even further.

[@trilbynhiss]

I don't care how bad her social anxiety is, that kid is a monster. ETA: and I'm pretty sure bipolar doesn't automatically excuse animal abuse. They need a second/third opinion, she certainly sounds like a sociopath. And! My mom and I moved to an entirely new school district when I was 15, with all the friend groups well established, etc and I managed, even with my undiagnosed and disregarded social anxiety. That wasn't a thing back in the 70s, you just had to shake it off and keep going.

[@pearbear6418]

S1: "If it were younger it would've been fine" So if you give her a younger dog, she'd try it again? If she doesn't see the value in an innocent creature's life, she doesn't deserve to own a pet and no reputable animal centers would give her an animal if they knew what she did.

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

Hello everyone! 😅Hope you all have a great day! Much love and hugs 🫂 ❤❤❤❤

[@weirdoscorner1917]

OP NTA. Her daughter is tho. As someone with social anxiety I have a part time job. I push through it even for a few hours. It does help me get out of my comfort zone. She has no excuse to treat or say that about any animal that’s from the shelter! They also need loving homes.

[@MizMorgue1]

S1. This kid is trouble, and OP NEEDS to find a new therapist for her kid. My XSS (14) was extremely sx aggressive, in that he was trying to talk every girl that said hi to him to sleep with him. He also tried talking his cousin into having sx with him. My XH refused to discuss this, and the therapist actually told XH that SS SHOULD CONTINUE to try and date to IMPROVE?!! his self confidence!!! I was floored. Nothing changed, and this is why hubs is an XH. OP needs to stay vigilant in this matter, and if hubs won't get on board, it may be time to consider other options for this marriage.

[@cami1700]

the kid needs a psychiatrist and an actual psychologist. If the actual therapist is one, she should find another one that isn't an enabler and ensure herself that the kid is telling the doctors everything. The girl could be omitting a lot of stuff and getting away with it.

[@MizMorgue1]

@@cami1700 💯💯💯💯💯

[@damien678]

People need psychologists, not just therapists...