I'm the Worst Person in Australia

Crikey has named me as Australia's A**ehat of the Year.... But why?
Nice little d lo on Amber Schultz, Charlie Lewis and Crikey.
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[@deach5254]

"My appeal comes from pointing out that you're shit" Guy knows his audience.

[@aidenlune9666]

Never thought I'd see someone like Amber that actually thought the Jimmy Neutron joke about sodium chloride was funny and then adopted it into a bit

[@FingerBob]

Actually dude it's salt

[@raadqureshi729]

is 'adopted' your euphemism for plagiarised?

[@Handles_Are_Bad.Phuk-them-off]

@@raadqureshi729 are meme's plagiarised every time they are re-spread?

[@HD_Heresy]

Fuck it was so cringe to listen to, bet the canned laughter CD got some extra scratches that day far out

[@anitacocktailextrasmooth4946]

@@FingerBob yeah that's the joke Captain obvious

[@malcolmanon4762]

"Hello police? Yeah, I'd like to report a double murder...."

[@Fesquishety]

Bit more than double, I think Jordan is a journo serial killer at this point. What, six or seven evicerations at this point? Hopefully he keeps at it, too.

[@morbidcurios]

That wasn't just a double murder, that was a whole fking massacre

[@malcolmanon4762]

@@analcommando1124 Wow original comment, back to your hole troll

[@malcolmanon4762]

@@analcommando1124 The only facts you have are the inane bollocks you're spouting here. Perhaps you should read BuzzFeed, well look at it, it would certainly improve your IQ - which is somewhere around cryogenic Helium if we use the Kelvin scale for reference.

[@eachday9538]

You just need some of that canned laughter from The Struggle, then Amber will think your 1972 Bruz impersonation is funny

[@nullusanxietas2379]

Wait, she put that in? *Wow.*

[@leighcleary9297]

Even her canned laughter was shit tier.

[@KIUStinger]

@@nullusanxietas2379 i mean i hope people weren't actually laughing at that

[@Reflox1]

@@KIUStinger I thought it was ironically put in by Jordie

[@XYZ-kb3mm]

@@Reflox1i thought it was real tbh

[@ashesx773]

Noone would have known he won, if he didn't tell us. Noones even heard of Crikey

[@rowmagnvs]

As per the crikey wiki: “Crikey was founded by activist shareholder Stephen Mayne, a journalist and former staffer of then Liberal Victorian premier Jeff Kennett.”

[@dyskmusic599]

I live under a rock - meaning that I've never heard of Crikey

[@Leigh-ux9ry]

Many people who don't live under rocks have also never heard of Crikey

[@naterutherford7224]

Crickey 😅

[@tiltedstudio]

No, that's pretty normal.

[@smithy2]

Ive heard of crikey... an aussie slang word... altho I've never heard of this 2 bit shit show untill jordies brought it up

[@dyskmusic599]

@@smithy2 ahahah fair enough

[@kitsoonielol]

Probably Stuart Little Because him pissing himself is the funniest thing I've seen in ages

[@carlomacahig2608]

pig man should be a good second

[@kitsoonielol]

@@carlomacahig2608 Eugh “I met Margot Robbie, guys WEE WEEEEE”

[@Ashmaryarose]

I gotta touch on this... it’s so reassuring seeing the few people in our generation who speak up about important matters. And especially when they’re committed like you. Not afraid of the backlash. You stand your ground, but you also take others views into account, and you hold your hands up when you make mistakes. I really like how your Channel isn’t set on just one focus too. It’s so rare for people to make comedic skits like yours and then talk about important or controversial topics I really don’t keep up with politics, especially when it’s in a different country, but I prefer this to the news. I can trust this more. You fact check and don’t taint facts with your own opinions. I support you and when I do watch your political vids, I learn so much. I can’t complain. It’s revolutionary really. Our generation have completely reshaped journalism

[@Ashmaryarose]

But long but oh well. Thanks to everyone who read even a sentence

[@Jim-dy4wv]

Jordan is the only reason I have bothered to learn about my own countries politics. Australian Media is so dog shit that i just started tuning out the same regurgitated political crap from online news or tv news ages ago. Jordan makes it entertaining and makes me give a shit also bringing to attention the corruption and ecological destruction caused by the government.

[@keeb__]

+respect brother

[@rabidporcupine0]

@The Exposer Now, I may not be that smart, but from what I can see, the way each states graph starts where the last one ends looks an awful lot like those numbers are saying how many MORE renewables those states are building than the previous state, which would mean it's not really contradicting what he said at all...

[@mrbiscuits915]

Ledgend 😆

[@Siferzion]

We should've campaigned for Daniel Andrews to get both Arsehat and Person of the year. Let them explain how they managed that.

[@ttv_mrjack6749]

Oh that would have been incredible. AS you can see, he is both the BEST and WORST of humanity.... Because, reasons.

[@nicknomski8399]

Arsehat : CCP shill Person of Year : thankfully his authoritarian methods were, eventually, successful in controlling the COVID outbreak.

[@ruppellsbooden8917]

@@nicknomski8399 yeah nah, dans a ccp shill

[@putlindmitrievich6322]

based

[@Randomcorpse]

combine them to make Arsepurse of the year

[@cconcannon5145]

You had me at "permanently dehydrated grinch".

[@AlistairMaxwell77]

savage

[@Banana_Split_Cream_Buns]

Wednesday Jordies: Marcus Prawn Friday Jordies: Hawkeye Pierce of _MASH_

[@angustaylor5204]

Australias Angry Alan Alda

[@Scruffiannat]

@@angustaylor5204 4 'A's. That's how they order beer in Qld in the evening after day 1 of the Gabba test.

[@hardstyleaddict4lyf]

Onya Jordies! Corporate rooms are filled with those types - they're the boss (or brown-nosing the boss so much) so you have to go along with their idea, even if it sucks

[@TR.Pixels]

Just saw Amber on Twitter defend a woman going on the death sentence who killed a pregnant woman to steal her baby, yeah sounds like a level headed journalist.

[@TheBoyMartain]

the fkn look of utter burn on my face when jordies dropped the "crikey boss is a known sexual harasser what now?" moment

[@AstralPhnx]

Half of these Australian "journalism" websites just have an identity of "Simp for Jacinda Ardern" Like, I live in New Zealand, I VOTED for Ardern but even our country doesn't simp for her THAT FUCKING MUCH

[@kylesoler4139]

My Boomer dad who like me is on the spectrum seems to not like her much but he's someone you don't want to ask for political advice.

[@AstralPhnx]

@@kylesoler4139 I mean, there's no politician that everyone will like. Personally I have a lot of respect for her myself just because of how she has piloted the country through some of our roughest times over the past few years what with the mosque shootings and covid but some people have differing opinions. In the end though that's just politics

[@76byoung]

@@AstralPhnx just have a look over the ditch at the caliber of our leaders over the last few years and what they've done . It's no wonder a lot of us think the sun shines out of her arse, the bar is quite low.

[@AstralPhnx]

@@76byoung True enough. Honestly I hope you folks get a competent government sooner rather than later

[@NickSquids]

@@AstralPhnx Yeah, what the fella above said. She is quite good though.

[@lukeh8376]

The highlight reel of dead journalists feels like a modern day adaptation of Vlad the Impaler

[@jexilef]

Holy shit, Jordies' best accent, which turns out to be his most accurate.

[@P.Subaeruginosa]

"Dont people know my mum thinks I'm nice?"

[@Mingeanal]

³33³3³³we³we

[@Mingeanal]

@@P.Subaeruginosa 3³³3

[@tommymileshart]

You gotta give it to Fergus. Just look at those sad, empty eyes. He needs a win.

[@elvastan]

He deserves it for surviving against that beehive

[@elizabethhalkett]

Oooh I thought Crikey was a community news letter put out by high school kids. I stand corrected, it's adults putting out high school level work... Thanks for the correction!

[@dangdang3970]

"Parking inspector with aids" thatll be a slogan in the australian vocabulary for the rest of eternity, keep it up fj team

[@dyode1]

"...and a nosebleed..."

[@kippers12isOG]

Yea the nosebleed is what got me 😂

[@Barryislarge]

Charlie Lewis looks like a child that just fell over and is trying to laugh it off, but his lip is quivering and he's about to make a scene at any second

[@OfficialAshArcher]

When you see Jordan has made a video about journalism and you just know he’s going to go for the jugular. So satisfying

[@Thompson8200]

I'm going to have to vote for Lucy Cormack. She looks like she's frozen alive and desperately trying to communicate from inside her motionless body.

[@ouroborosrecords]

She was definitely my first choice, up until I saw the rest of them!

[@stephenbride1308]

Definitely would be my first choice. Just for her complete lack of ethics exposed in the phone call with her view of readers as nothing but customers.

[@XYZ-kb3mm]

this made me snort

[@beattherapydotcom]

This channel is now the most reliable source of news in Australia, with a host that actually demonstrates what integrity is. 💙

[@Fesquishety]

Michael West is pretty good too, though.

[@rowmagnvs]

@Blue Heeler “leftard” - you’re so brave

[@questioneverything8876]

Hats off to the investigative reporters supporting Jordy.

[@ChimpWithaHandGrenade]

“The spitting image of my less efficient testicle” Holy hell that is gold

[@Bugsquash]

"Looks like a permanently dehydrated grinch" love it

[@JafacaksWasTaken]

he has the softest aussie accent of all time, sounds like a private school brit

[@BeanisBags]

He sounds like that one pretentious kid at school who talks in essays

[@malcolmanon4762]

I'd have sworn on a stack of bibles he came from some commuter town in Surrey, not posh enough accent for some private school brat.

[@lysbird]

He went to Newtown performing Arts School.

[@hotdogs2549]

It's extremely strong-- you're just thinking of 1 of the 3 Aussie accents (it's due to the variety and formation of immigration). There's straight up bogan; women trying hard to be British (Olivia Newton John) and probably have only immigrated within 2 generations; and the common blend that most have. Some men can be more 'blokey' and sound like Hugh Jackman, but he's literally just a Sydney journo like Jordie lol (look it up-- Jackman went to Sydney Uni). There's no such thing as the 'Occa' Outback accent, just like Americans don't ACTUALLY speak in the trans-atlantic accent c. 1930s either. Definitely something for movies as part of their speech delivery. "Showbiz". If you want to know the history, there are a few documentaries that answer why we have the strands. It has to do with when your family + community immigrated (invaded). The common blend is mainly influenced due to Irish convicts and northern English convicts' children mingling, and creating a new drawl (and lack of muscle) in the tongue. I'm pretty sure it's Americans who use a lot of tongue to the front of their teeth, whilst southern English accents are rounder to the sides of the mouth (it could be vice versa). So the Australian accent became some sort of crude version of Manchester and Irish accents ahaha. My school made us learn about this as part of the HSIE syllabus for immigration population etc. It's pretty great stuff!

[@dreamers8072]

@@hotdogs2549 fascinating shit isn't it. I come from lower south Aus, we have a terribly mixed fancy bogan tongue done here. We have rounded oos and ahhs and a somewhat 'fancier' sounding accent

[@Sefenite101]

this is literally the Virgin Charlie vs. the Chad Jordies

[@prajithBaby]

Charlie looks like he’s really anxious about asking for a cup of water

[@Thatm8bruh]

Use me as a button for “The Brag Staff”, she was so shockingly incompetent with the English language I don’t understand how she even got a job in journalism.

[@user-fm5ke3yy3r]

'Aborted Clone' - I lost it

[@TheKayStop]

$20 says they take a crack at Jords for his voice in the bit about Idiocracy.

[@russe19642]

Nah they're done

[@simontatton5424]

Making my annual pilgrimage to this absolute masterpiece of a video

[@cormoran2303]

I'm pretty sure we increased their readership tenfold for that poll alone. And we all voted for our Jordan. 😄

[@stucreighton5841]

Gunna have to give the award to Lucy "The Brick with Eyes" McCormack

[@Loctorak]

Lmao brick with eyes 😂

[@CarltonCashMonet]

Quiet Werner Herzog shout out in the last quarter of the vid, nice.

[@oldyoungie3821]

I once heard of Crikey. I checked out Crikey. I promptly forgot about Crikey.

[@jakegargiulo5101]

Hahaaaa omg "Perminantly Dehydrated Grinch". She literally does have the same shaped head at the Grinch.

[@McShavey]

LMAO "Me naked as a clown!" I fucking love this story.

[@todo9633]

10:00 Can we just appreciate the "dangerous teller of incendiary truths" line. Because. I mean. Yeah. Incendiary truths indeed.

[@jesseerven4859]

why do all these people pictures look like they've just said sorry and are looking back trying to gage your reaction

[@geetuz]

Stop! stop! they're dead alr- ...actually no, carry on.

[@hotdogs2549]

Hold the fucking phone: Jordie owns a frenchie???? WE NEED A VIDEO, NOW.

[@LocalDiscordCatgirl]

He just got a beagle too. Watch the latest couple of pods.

[@hotdogs2549]

@@LocalDiscordCatgirl I've seen the beagle on the pod-- I thought it was Mis or Ali's tho

[@choccy_drizzle8960]

"permanently dehydrated grinch, amber schultz"... lol

[@HoneyTheFracking]

Shows you where those goblins' priorities are, proud of ya Jordo

[@ohhimarkbad1777]

Permanently dehydrated Grinch lmfao

[@michaellynch7608]

Amber's mate, Tory, tried to even the score yesterday by publishing her hot take on the arrest of Kristo and the Barilaro situation. Holy crap. It's completely demented. She went full homeless guy with the "The end is nigh" sandwich board shouting at the traffic. Here are a few key lines: "Friendlyjordies is the Pauline Hanson of social media." OK, then. "KZbinr Friendlyjordies (aka Jordan “Persecution Complex” Shanks-Markovina) was already soaking up victimhood status after NSW Deputy Premier John Barilaro starting suing him for defamation." When you are the victim of something you can't just be 'playing the victim.' "Like Hanson, Jordies has tapped into disaffection in specific pockets of the community and exploited it mercilessly for power and money. Hanson has eked out sympathy by playing the victim ever since her 2003 prison term" This is an awesome shitting on the hundreds of thousands of people who appreciated the channel. Apparently we're all disaffected dupes who hang out in pockets. Sounds like the dudes who are up in the hills waving swastikas or radicalised Islamist proto-terrorists. "...the move will fuel the perception of victimhood that Jordies and his fanatical followers already had." Fanatical? Bloody hell, this article sounds fanatical. "Like Hanson, former US president Donald Trump and others of their ilk, Jordies’ brand is of the outsider...he wants to be the next Rupert Murdoch, and how he fanboys far-right conspiracy theorist Alex Jones. The other Jones (Alan) also meets with his approval. As do Ray Hadley, John Laws and Andrew Bolt." That's a hell of a list of people to be compared to.

[@smjames4808]

2:59 That graph is actually showing NSW & ACT to have the most renewable energy projects under construction by megawatt in 05/19. I don't dispute that NSW is lagging behind on the environment but that graph isn't actually bolstering your statement.

[@sccroobyj4024]

Why does Charlie's face look like that feeling you have before you're just about to cry?

[@sophietemple2728]

I looked at his face after reading this ... and felt a pang of tears coming! 😂

[@MrHidePatten]

“The aMAHZing pube-bearded boy”

[@lakodamon]

Don't you just wanna see him do the dance?

[@JeffreyHead1]

This brought tears to my eyes from laughing so much. But...why? This is gold. You truly are the best in the business at dismantling these cretins. It's like you are the Eminem of journalism, as soon as someone has a go you use their words/actions/Stewart little bodies to kill them.

[@andyoats]

Australia must not have many bad apples if YOU’RE the worst of us.

[@jefferye4639]

I ❤️ Cider

[@jefferye4639]

I ❤️ Cider.

[@DamienCoup]

🤣 welcome to Jordies’ modern day freak show.

[@edesbalazs]

I learn the best insults from these videos. "Permanently dehydrated Grinch" is an absolute gem.

[@totalrecone]

More 'Crikey's" than a round of Terri Irwin's Revenge flash game.

[@corneliusmaze-eye2459]

Winner: Stewart Little Runner Up: Lucy Cormack

[@donoghuehamish]

Kinda funny that K Rudd recently wrote an article for crikey on the Murdock media’s responsibility for the recent riots in capital hill. So I guess they sometimes post good things, when it’s not there journalists

[@Sharpybutnotalways]

I love the fact that jordies has a mirror next to his set so he can preen himself like a budgie

[@stonedtodamax69]

10:45 damn son that beat fire!!

[@parhhesia]

'Permanently dehydrated Grinch' LMFAO, can't unsee.

[@krooziebear]

Jesus Christ that was a slam dunk 😂😂

[@jessicaheadly6508]

I love the subtle sound effect at 10:55 from ghastly grove in donkey kong country 2 😂😂

[@no-om2ii]

Where is warhammer

[@nickball4071]

Yeah this Warhammer channel has taken a wild swing into politics recently.

[@AlistairMaxwell77]

need moar warhammer

[@megsayaers7918]

"dance for the people Charlie" lost me 😂😂😂😂 Sums it up perfectly

[@Quackium]

7:33 "Jordan sharks" 😂

[@anguspugh4543]

going through old videos to relive these roasts absolutely love it

[@shortlytall7926]

I vote Stuart Little. How could someone be so unprepared, knowing he would be calling someone known for quick, sharp replies?

[@jasonsee4564]

I fucking snorted at 0:37, singing something in a dumb voice gets me every time

[@mord3030]

You really made the limp-wristed blue checkmarks seethe with this one, Jordies. Even seen a few of them unironically call you a Nazi, not as if that word matters anymore since they throw it out like it's the weekly trash.

[@TheGloriousLobsterEmperor]

I don't think there's a single Oporto in the entirety of the Hunter.

[@TheGloriousLobsterEmperor]

But I *have* seem Kamala Harris's biography in Muswellbrook Big W.

[@liamblanco9641]

Jordies is friends with parking officers. Now that’s a cancelling you won’t escape

[@namanish450]

I jumped when he said 'It's a niche'

[@TheBread09]

Working nights occasionally comes in handy 👌

[@davewolfe8033]

"He's dead, Dave. Everybody's dead. Everybody is dead, Dave!"

[@superskills1017]

Congrats Jordies, I knew you could do it mate, I even searched the competition to put a vote in for you. Surely you try for back to back now?

[@Hugo_Golden]

Holy shit permanently dehydrated grinch was on point lol

[@debuggerau]

All those peeps make me feel what its like after being through a jackass poo cocktail

[@maxlawson1187]

I've missed this like crack. (And 'the amazing pube bearded boy' is my moment of climax.)

[@natashaeliot3628]

5:54 lactic acid isn't even milk, lactose is what makes it milk (though over time it will ferment into lactic acid)

[@JDWDMC]

This is truly a commendable award. Well done young man.

[@LordCumberdale]

@2:59: doesn't that graph show NSW is *leading* the other states in renewables? The state bars are cumulative, meaning the next state's bar starts at the point the previous one ended. NSW just appears lower because it was the first one in their ordering.

[@marlandfriends4694]

All hail the yelling man - from the Friendly Cult of Jordies.

[@ryanroberts1104]

Sometimes when I poop I'm like "Oh my god, what is that? I didn't eat anything that color!!"

[@adzz8012]

4 thousand votes in a whole day..😲 this vid has 1.1k likes in 30 mins haha give it another hour and it will be 4k too 🤣

[@starksanchez3812]

Thanks Jordie, you're one of my favourite people. Edit: If the playlist from your videos were available on patreon I'd sign up

[@mgbible77]

Lucy Cormack with that smug, self-important look!

[@Khalek420]

that laugh track for the struggle sounds more the laugh track from a 70s sitcom

[@thebeartw9240]

So glad to be able to vote for someone from tassie in the awards haha

[@akh3152]

15:38 Let it be known that Jordan's 1 second Werner Herzog impression is greatly appreciated.

[@fireypicnic]

Voting for perma dehydrated Grinch mostly cos i want to see the art.

[@ljwh9493]

"Trademark cuck snark" is about the most succinct way you have ever skewered these - - people. Well done

[@jesseequiroga3582]

Did friendlyjordies change his hair style or am I imagining this?

[@carleycarleyb]

I think may have been filmed before the hair cut.

[@YouJamesDoranTube]

He definitely dyed it. Might be going grey

[@willlis13]

@@carleycarleyb that’s what he wants you to think

[@bigdude101ohyeah]

Cam Wilson got a job with Crikey around the time of the nomination. Surely it's just a coincidence

[@FingerBob]

Ahh yes another "news" outlet with white text over a relatively bright red background trying to get hip with the youngsters

[@lazybabe108]

I voted for ya Jords, congrats mate. You’re a legend.

[@davidb1356]

"...left testicle, that is nominally left" LOL!

[@russe19642]

I blame their parents for making them believe and oh using their influence to get them the job in the first place as maccas or woolies just didn't cut the mustard in the family

[@karl4834]

""My appeal comes from pointing out that you're shit," that's it!" Pure gold...and if Keating used the word shit in Parliament, he would have been proud of that most apt of put-downs 👍👍👍

[@jenniferschmitzer299]

I'm pretty sure he did say stuff like that, but didn't use rude words cos Mr Speaker would've admonished him greatly. kzbin.info/www/bejne/qGKsp6NjdplkaaM Just an amuse bouche for ya. for funsies 😂

[@frazer4457]

Lucy cormack for peak of evolution Simply for being a female Jordie gone wrong