I Planned To Become A Mom Through Fertility Treatment But Now I've Met Someone r/Relationships

[@KJ-sp9jq]

S2: The toxic piece of crap needs to be let go. He didn't get up and just decide to move a piano to the junk yard, he clearly thought about it and planned it. Who the Hell destroys a $6000 piano. I hope OP got rid of him.

[@mrs.h2725]

If she doesn't kick him out, she'll also be TA. Jaysus christ on a pogo stick what a nightmare POS excuse of a father.

[@GeneralBumpkis]

Yeah that was a helluva long “moment of desperation”

[@robertx8020]

Just chop the (ex) bf to pieces /s Don't worry, she did it just out of disperation :P

[@Swnsasy]

Oh hell no! He destroyed a $6k gift from a 13yr olds grandparents and she's still deciding if to stay with him? I would sue him and kick him to the curb! Hurt my kids you got to go!! He's controlling, disrespectful and nasty! I just couldn't do it. Too many good men out there!

[@annisa8863]

I wish my mother had the same mentality. Her husband would destroy so many of my things, take my makeup, underwear and destroy clothes in my room. This all started happening after I accused him of sexual assault at 13 and no longer wanted to be close with him or speak to him, so he he thought he would get back at me in some sick way to destroy my belongings when I’m not around. My mum found a bunch of my things in the shed that were taken over the years. She’s still happily married to him till this day.

[@carolroberts4614]

How dreadful for you! I hope things are better for you, and you are well away from your mother!

[@ynmonroe]

@@annisa8863 Sorry you had to deal with that. Some people are so desperate (men and women) to be in a relationship that they will overlook the behavior of the person they are with. I have never understood that.

[@ninirossau2304]

@@annisa8863 I hope you are no contact with that excuse of a mother. and filed with the police. people need to know about pedos.

[@Ospyro3em]

Story 2- Your "hot take" on why he hates the piano are exactly my thoughts. The only acceptable continuation of this story would be for OP to not let husband anywhere near her daughter and start divorce proceedings NOW

[@immortalsofar5314]

Something children in these relationships learn really fast and stays with them for life: your enemies cannot betray you, only your friends can do that. I'm in my 50s now, my mum died 3 years ago and I spent half my life living on another continent. I think she had until I was around 11 to step up but from 14 onwards we had a distant relationship. Like the commenter said, this is what she has to look forward to.

[@videofan1010]

Thank you

[@gridenboat]

Nice Spyro pf!

[@debbierellim6474]

Always choose your child. She desperately needs you in her corner! Your child is your top priority.

[@Davtwan]

It would explain the slow growth of hatred considering he had no problems at first. He was just tolerating it and letting his distaste fester.

[@Davtwan]

“A moment of desperation and frustration?” He took a piano all the way to the junkyard and made the decision to cut it into pieces! If he was mad for that long and considers it a “moment,” then I hate to see what he considers a “while.”

[@tkb5726]

Story 2 absolutely broke my heart. My mom lashed out and chucked my clarinet across the room once. The (closed and latched!) case popped open and pieces went everywhere. Mouthpiece, reeds, upper joint, lower joint - she threw it so hard the case popped open and the pieces damn near flew out of the case. At the time I loved my clarinet and said love has only grown with age. Surprisingly it was unharmed but I still find myself getting sad over it 10 years later and hiding my clarinet when my mom gets angry. She is also no longer allowed to touch my clarinet under any circumstances because I don't trust that she won't hurt it out of anger. Years later and I still get pangs of sadness at the memory - and my instrument wasn't even harmed. I can't imagine someone destroying my instrument in a fit of malicious destruction. The bond between a musician and their instrument is one that only musicians can understand, so the idea of breaking one in a fit of rage is absolutely horrific to me

[@itsjustmaddisen]

I used to play the flute and it’s still a prized possession even though I don’t play it anymore (I think it’s to do with the fact that it was so expensive and I took pride in cleaning it every single day and that I studied so hard). I would honestly cry if someone broke it because of how much effort I put into it. Plus that’s +$1000 down the drain lol.

[@13thMaiden]

I don't even play my clarinet anymore (haven't since school), but if anyone were to do something to it, even as it sits quietly in it's case, a symbol of the very few good things during my school years, I would come unglued. My Dad is similar with his treasured instruments, even if he doesn't play them anymore either.

[@ChrisSmithBass]

I totally understand and agree with this.

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

Good thing its hard to break a clarinet when its in pieces like that but still holy shit

[@rosemarie1817]

If my guardian harmed my flute (I'm a flute player going on 3+ years now) I'd be a level of angry that he's never seen before, my flute is my baby (that sounds weird, I know) and it's hurt me whenever he's insulted my flute, calling it a horn, making squealing/tooting noises, mocking how I hold it (he did it wrong anyways). It's insulting to have your instrument mocked, much less BROKEN BEYOND REPAIR.

[@AngharadMac]

That last story: if my husband was berating my child over a creative outlet that she is actually good at? I'd have told him to shut his AH mouth or get out long before this incident

[@zachf748]

Story #2 - I’m heartbroken and furious for the daughter. First off, the “step-dad” is despicable and he needs to buy the new piano immediately. But also, the mom is failing her daughter too, by forcing her to live with the clearly toxic new husband.

[@Russman67]

Story 2: Oh fuck no he didn't! He intentionally hauled out a piano in a moment of desperation?!? Bitch please! And if he really was worried about her grades, he needs to understand that musicians typically test higher across the board than other students, mainly because we have to learn a whole different language sheet music. I would have him pay that $6,000 and bounce. And honestly OP needs to seriously reconsider whether or not this man's redeeming qualities whatever those are is worth his treatment of her daughter. Like one of the posters said, "she's selling out her daughter for some mediocre dick".

[@carolroberts4614]

I wouldn't have put it like that,because I'm a lady, don't you know, but I'm glad someone did!

[@FoxFireNaruto]

Not to mention the dedication it takes to practice frequently enough to be good at an instrument , that's a lot of self control for a kid. She's only 13 but she's already self motivated and seeing results for her hard work. Any decent step-parent would be singing her praises and trying to bond with her over her passion. Whether he's just super insecure or escalating abuse he needs to fork over the money and be gone.

[@AndyyWithAY]

If I were a man and I'd just been with a woman for a month and she told me all this, I'd be incredibly freaked out. This is just a dicey situation.

[@RJLiams]

Not dicey at all. She made a choice with her life, so it's only fair to give him that choice in his. If he's willing to stick it out great. If not, also great. Hiding this from him will absolutely make things infinitely worse when she starts showing. Especially if they haven't had sex by that time.

[@srkh8966]

Story #1: You’re getting inseminated and are questioning whether you should tell the guy your seeing? Of course you should tell him immediately. He may choose to leave, but If he found out you hid it he will definitely leave.

[@femboy__bunny]

Why the fuck would you hide something like that from someone you’re dating?

[@ladyv5655]

If she didn't tell him, he'd be unhappy she kept it from him, too. If this is a dealbreaker for him, then it's better to let him know sooner rather than later before investing more time in the relationship.

[@yellowishgreendragon.-.]

In my opinion, I'd support her choice. Because it's 2 years and the partner had only been there for a month. But also I dont think I would stay and raise her child.

[@echtemeid415]

Story 1: YWBTA. I love how that 'friend' said that telling him right now would sabotage the potential relationship. As if a baby would not 'sabotage' that same potential relationship. I would tell him of the plan and let him decide what he wanna do with that. If he's supportive: great. If he is not you might wanna stop it right here before you are wasting both y'alls time. You can have children if you want, and I'm all for being a single mom if you wanna do that. But don't try and hide something this important and would change everybody's entire life. Glad OP went ahead and told him. In the end it seems to have worked out very well for them, and I'm glad she was able to fulfill her wish of becoming a mommy. Wishing her, G and B all the best!

[@madarawijerathne276]

Op does not sound awful person but friend sure is.

[@Tammohawk1]

1. OP did the right thing by telling her plans. Otherwise, she would have been "trapping" him. G is a stand up guy I think. 2. He ruined his own business before it even started. He was the unreasonable one. I'd divorce his butt over this one. In a heart beat. He's a jealous control freak. He destroyed a $6,000 piano?! I wouldn't have put up with any of that nonsense. He's a weak willed creature who wouldn't have stood a chance with this girl. I hope there's an update on this one.

[@TheOtherSideoftheLookingGlass]

Story 2: Lets break this down for a minute. If OP's husband _really_ thought that the daughter's piano was a distraction from her school work and he felt the only way to _'help'_ her was to remove it, why did he go out of his way to destroy it? He could have easily taken it to Goodwill, Salvation Army or any other second hand store. Any of those places would have been overjoyed to receive a $6000 piano to sell. Its because simply getting rid if it wasn't enough, he *wanted* to destroy it. He took pleasure in erasing one of the last representations of OP's late husband from their lives with his own two hands. Really think about that. He is a very disturbed, sick and disgusting person to steal and destroy something he knew meant the world to his stepdaughter because he is clearly threaten by the memory of a dead man. If OP does not divorce him over this, then it will most likely be the beginning of the end for her's and her daughter's relationship.

[@pelgervampireduck]

my first thought was "THAT'S A PSYCHOPAT!!!". the guy did it with premeditation and I'm sure he enjoyed destroying it. it's so sad and infuriating, poor kid, something impossible to replace was taken away from her.

[@Misspellednumbers]

Story 1: If I was the boyfriend, and OP didn't say anything, I'd lose tons of interest. This isn't like dating an already pregnant mother or single mother. This is someone who made the active choice to keep the knowledge hidden until it happens. I think that's the part that hurts the most. Being deceived for someone else's sole benefit and not being trusted enough to know about something this serious. I'm really happy OP was honest with her intentions.

[@jamestown8398]

Whenever I hear “I lied to him because I thought he’d leave me if I told him the truth”, I lose all sympathy.

[@JDKT002]

This is why when it comes to serious or potentially serious relationships, I always adamantly say if you're worried about what will happen if you tell them, you need to tell them. You don't build a healthy relationship by hiding parts of you and your life from someone. Doesn't matter if you don't think it's important or relevant. What matters is that you deliberately decided to hide information that could have a real impact on them. Honestly really is the best policy.

[@gcarr1089]

Story 1 - OP should tell him she plans to get pregnant, he may not be prepared to raise another man's child, which it would be as it is not his child. I'm glad things worked out for OP. Story 2 - OP should demand the money within the timeframe originally given, he is trying to gaslight paying for the piano, his intention is after the revised 4 months after starting his side business he would continually say that he didn't have the money at the moment, what he had he needs to help with the business and as soon as he has it he will pay her. He has no intention of ever paying for the piano. He wants control over OP and her daughter he has been slowly getting things his way and OP has been blind to all of it.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Oh hell no! He is absolutely paying for another piano. That was not a moment of frustration! He drove somewhere and cut up the item. If he's this stupid, his business would fail anyway. Having hobbies and extracurriculars makes kids do better in school because they're not constantly focused on school.

[@raggarbergman]

And at the same time she train coordination skills and to be honest it is also some mathematics in it to. And you never know. She might be the next Bethoven.

[@kbf9644]

#1 - YWBTA. Mark and Redditors summed it up. Plus, I really wonder how she’d feel if a man she was dating became serious with her and didn’t let her know he had a vasectomy. Considering her desire for children, I’d imagine she’d be pretty damn pissed off.

[@ynmonroe]

Or, that he was planning to impregnate another friend based on an earlier agreement? I guarantee she wouldn't be okay to find out after the deed was done if it happened during their relationship.

[@madarawijerathne276]

Yeah op will be if she not truthful. Friend is not a Friend. But at the moment I don't she's TA.

[@carolroberts4614]

I think really it's a question that shouldn't have to be asked! Just show you how wrong your friends can be, though!

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

@@ynmonroe this is always my rebuttal when women say shit like "mrn shouldnt have a say in their gfs/wives abortion" I give the hypothetical if your man and a female coworker agreed that he would donate sperm to her (in a non sexual way) so she could have a baby would you be okay with that? Then I use their own arguments against why they don't have a say in it

[@Bleg94]

1. Story: YWBTA what kind of person is OPs friend? Oo while that decision is OPs and OPs decision alone, if she wants to stay in that relationship like she wrote she needs to tell him, everything else would be deception if I were to be him I probably would've left or at the very least said I need some time to think about that, the relationship is only one month old and to me that would've been way too big of a commitment after such a short time

[@owl7072]

Story 2: This man is horrible oh my god. I have a couple guitars, one from my grandma when I was 10 and one from my mom when I was 13. I haven't been able to properly learn to play cause I lost the tutorials for the second one during a move and the first one was missing a string when I got it and another string was damaged during said move, but if someone just straight up _destroyed them?_ I'd be devastated and never speak to them again, they'd be dead to me the moment they put their hands on them with any sort of malicious intent.

[@raggarbergman]

The piano story. Sue his ass of and dump him. Not just for the piano but also emotional damages for your daughter.

[@jaymel4691]

Story 2- OP says her husband started out being fine with her daughter's activities but that changed "gradually". To me that makes him even worse- he is a controlling, abusive asshole who was just testing you to see what he could get away with, while slowly increasing his abusive behavior. Get a divorce, get yourself and daughter safe, and sue him for the piano. He didn't just lose his temper and do this out of temporary frustration. This is a full size PIANO. He would've needed help to move it, haul it away, and more time to slowly cut it apart at the junkyard. And I bet one or more if his toxic family members helped him. Think about how LONG that would take. And how he could have stopped at any time, but didn't. It must have taken hours, likely all day. If he will go this far, over a piano, he could do a lot worse in the future. No matter how gradual it was, you should've shut him down HARD as soon as he started going after your child. Immediately, the very first time it happened. That would've shown you sooner what kind of person he really is.

[@ilbercgross4736]

When people show you their true colors, believe it. Man or woman, when they start showing difference after time, talkw ith them. If they continue, leave them to the side of the road. Bioparent or step parent.

[@samoanjoseph1457]

PLEASE ditch that friend who said don't tell him, I would bet anything they're alone.

[@DanaG1970]

Story 2, I would have divorced the man when he started complaining about my daughter playing the piano. After he destroyed the piano? I’d have him arrested for theft and destruction of the piano. Forget having him paying for it.

[@heathermiller5765]

I wouldn't forget having him pay for it. That is $6000 worth of piano gone in an instant

[@DanaG1970]

@@heathermiller5765 which he’ll probably never. Pay.

[@FoxFireNaruto]

"Desperation?" He took that piano to god damn secondary location! I doesn't get more premeditated than that.

[@davidsantiagotate7380]

Story 2 is one of those where I really hope we get an update informing us that she kicked that AH out after he replaces the piano.

[@exelion100]

The first story sounds a lot to the plot of the movie "Plan B"

[@gabrielabatista6016]

My thoughts exactly.

[@elaexplorer]

Wasn't also a plot on Will and Grace?

[@manxiefeathermoon9888]

Story one: tell him and let him decide. If the baby is the most important thing to the OP, focus on that. Men come and go but a child is more important

[@sopadumacacoumadelicia5]

Damn lmao

[@jackchop1576]

@@sopadumacacoumadelicia5 Manxie is one of the frequent man haters who frequents these types of videos... one named Beve and Tasia are a couple others. They will only come here to trash men even when he is decent. They're probably enraged that she and him worked out well in the end.

[@adambaker6794]

@@jackchop1576 goodness 200+ comments lol you weren't kidding, story one was just a interesting read tbh.

[@beckabelle5927]

@@jackchop1576 Say you're a creepy incel without saying you're a creepy incel

[@Ash-mo7oc]

Story 2: just because he "didn't have an issue at first" doesn't mean that he never had an issue in the first place. You were dating/recently married, that means he was in his best (pretend) behavior until he felt comfortable that you wouldn't leave him for being his true self (which is a person that hates your daughter). Yes he hates your daughter and he dislikes that you "defend" her which is why he spread his hate towards other activities both you and your daughter do. This isn't just a simple case of "the man just doesn't like the piano", it's a case that the man doesn't like your daughter period.

[@sopadumacacoumadelicia5]

I'm glad she told him. It's kind of him to stay around, hope all goes well.

[@echtemeid415]

Story 2: That guy is never there for her plays, barely listens to her music and discourages her from doing something that she loves? In the bin! That's not a father figure. That's a man who is jealous of a teenager who lost her dad but has found a way to stay close to him and has a great hobby. For what!? If he can't control his 'anger' when he gets woken up by some piano music than I would worry what he'll do in other situations where he doesn't feel happy about something. Absolute trash.

[@wmdkitty]

Or maybe Daughter should be more considerate and not wake people up?

[@echtemeid415]

@@wmdkitty Are you kidding? What reasonable adult would decide to bring a 6,000 piano to a junkyard 'in a fit of rage' after being woken up one time? The mom didn't hear it, we don't know what time it was when it happened. Maybe the 13 year old teen thought everybody was awake. Maybe it was 11AM already. Who really knows? I would not jump to conclusions when a man who has been so unsupportive and jealous of a teen would say something to paint her in a bad light. A normal conversation would have been enough. 'You woke me up today by playing the piano. Don't do it on the weekend before a certain hour so that people can sleep in'. Had it not worked he could have spoken to her mom and tell her about it. Getting rid of the piano after 1 small incident is not on the list of long term solutions. That would cause many problems afterwards. All problems after that move could have been avoided if the adult man behaved like an adult man.

[@kristinewatson3702]

Dump that husband. He's jealous of the deceased husband. Sue him for the Piano and divorce.

[@techyfuzzball]

I always watch for marks uploads around this time. I was literally sitting there refreshing my subscriptions lol. Thank goodness for the upload!!! Time for some good listening 💖

[@mmakoshark]

same!

[@jessicawaldeback]

I have a friend that had been in a relationship with a man for several years. They lived in a flat they had bought together, big enough for the boyfriends son to live there part time. My friend wanted to have a kid of her own, but the boyfriend didn’t want to father any more children. The resolution was for her to travel abroad for inseminations and fertility treatments. And it worked, after a few attempts with several clinics in two countries in total. The kid will become 3 later this year. My friends relationship with her boyfriend seems to be stronger than ever, and it’s really heartwarming to see the kids relationship develop with it’s father and older brother. Take this for what it is. This thing about families is that they can be constructed in ways that differ from the old idea of nuclear families, and that doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong about them.

[@katiefleming691]

The piano destruction is EVIL

[@ronniec427]

You can't drag a piano to a junk yard and destroy it and declare it was a moment of frustration. Throwing or hitting something, although not okay, can be claimed as a moment of frustration, not was he did. What a POS.

[@ShatoraDragondore]

Story 2: OP needs to press charges on (I hope vary soon) ex husband and exFIL. If FIL was so cool with destroying the piano knowing it was not his sons to get rid of. WHAT else has his junk yard gotten rid of under the table?

[@helenlewis2510]

2nd story I feel for that kid. My mom was Marty to my (ex) stepdad for 12 years, knowing he was abusive to me. She only left him because she was unhappy, and in less than a year was with someone else.

[@zachf748]

Story #2 - The husband is absolutely despicable. And the mom has failed her daughter by forcing her daughter to live with him.

[@Josku2411]

Oop early dyed my hair red,got some mcdonalds and am headed to a music festival this weekend..pure vibes i say

[@lucialovecraft]

Have fun!

[@Nettles007]

Ayy I dyed my hair for the first time today, nothing exciting tho only a darker brown haha

[@heatherdickau5335]

Story 1 why on earth are you dating a new person when you are trying to get pregnant? How much harder do you want to make your life at one time?

[@ohwow9769]

The last story’s edit reminded me of when my dad and my sister’s mom when they were together. My sisters mom was so nice to me at the beginning, but once she and my dad started living together, she made a complete 180. She let her son bully me, made me ask if I could read my own books (her son could help herself to my stuff), and because she was super religious, she would tell me “The devil’s gonna get you if I ____” and when I would tell her I didn’t believe in the devil, she would say “the devil’s gonna get you if you don’t believe in him!” 😂

[@melissawittman]

Story 2: I play flute and a little piano. Between my 3 kids I have purchased 2 trumpets, a French horn, a violin, a cello, 2 guitars and a piano. I won't get into how reading music increases academic skills, etc. OP should get the grandparents involved since they purchased the piano. I can't believe step dad's family helped destroy it.

[@charmann9600]

As a musician I am livid. If my father ever distroyed my piano my mother would have left him in a flash.this is not about just the piano its about common respect. Her connecting to playing is a form of therapy and he needs to understand that a "real future" is keeping a good mental health.

[@ivy4104]

Mark! I hope you’re good, have a great rest of the week

[@MizTameRumors]

2nd OP is a massive massive Ahole for letting this man reach this step. He should have been divorced LONG before. You daughter's father died and you replaced him with a monster who is just creating trauma on top of her grief.

[@winterkind1772]

Story 2: First thing that got me angry was when he called playing the piano "waste of time". So is watching tv but I'm sure he does that often enough. Finding creative ways to deal with emotions (esp huge ones like the death of her father) is such a healthy and important thing not only growing up. Maybe he could learn something from Callie.... because clearly he doesn't know how to deal with his emotions. Second thing "acted in a moment of desperation and frustration" - sure. Calling someone to help, carrying the piano out, driving to the junk yard and there destroying it - just a moment. Damn. Is he always going to destroy things when smth won't go his way? I can't remember the quote word by word but in another vid a comment said "That red flag is so huge, kick him out and he can live comfortably in a tent made of it" ... and yeah. Destroying property is always always a warning sign. And OP saying that it wasn't always this way : that's how abuse starts. Noone would date someone who calls you a slur on your first date. It starts slow. Unnoticed until things become bigger and bigger. If he starts a side business, he will be even more stressed. This could lead to him excusing even more shitty behaviour. Edit: OPs answer to the comment about how he started to gradually hating things. See my point above. She needs to end this before things get any worse.

[@jeanipin3430]

S1. what a wonderful and eye opening story. Hope they remain together, very brave of her.

[@user-fs7dv3bq2v]

Story 2: If you haven’t actually seen the piano pieces, then the piano was actually sold for his business seed money. The conflict was manufactured so that he can issue the ultimatum (which he already knew the likely outcome). Because if he actually wanted a relationship with the daughter, he would’ve been involved or made an effort.

[@LadyJoolree]

S2: Maybe its the muso in me, but I'm cussing up an absolute storm here! That man AND HIS FAMILY showed such malice of forethought I have absolutely zero sympathy for OP if she stays with him. Her step-grandfather also did that to her, his whole family can go to hell. She's brought that man in and says "he wasn't like that before", well he damn well is now! Woman up and deal with what's in front of you. I bet he chose and a single mother because they're less likely to flee and feel so grateful that someone was prepared to take in both them and their child(ren) that they let all kinds of crap slide on through. OP if you're reading these comments do not let this man continue to abuse both you and your daughter and she will never be the same again. Its REAL trauma to loose an instrument you've bonded with, especially like that. He just cut the beating heart out of her and you think everything is going to just what? Go back to the way it was? What a narcissistic, insecure, little dick of an excuse for a human! Kick him out HARD!! 😡

[@theseawriter]

Just got back from band & picking my cat up from the vet (after 2+ weeks). Happy to have her home! I’ll post a photo of her and tag you on Twitter; she’s already been used in PetTaxTuesday

[@dm9078]

BF needs to bounce! NTA I hope we get an update from OP about how she chucked that monster to the curb. But what is it with these parents, both male and female that let their partners mistreat their children.ESH but not he daughter!

[@GiordanDiodato]

It's likely she was at work or that she thought the partner would get used to it.

[@paden1865able]

My dad had bought a piano for my mother and was teaching her to play it. It had been put into the basement when the house was being built because it never would have fit in otherwise. In his grief after she suddenly died of congestive heart failure, he destroyed it with an axe. They'd spent so many hours and years together at it and he just couldn't bear to see it. Husband should replace the girl's piano, though, it wasn't his to destroy.

[@sophiescott143]

Story 1: two things. 1, open and clear communication is absolutely necessary in a relationship. 2, you are becoming a parent. This is another human being who deserves a chance to choose whether or not he's going to be a parent on this timeline. This isn't something you can keep from someone you're dating if you have any kind of intention to become serious with them. He needs to know, and early, or you're trapping him with a kid. I can tell you that if I were dating a woman and she waited until the last moment to tell me she's becoming a parent I would be absolutely furious and would leave her immediately.

[@elaexplorer]

Story 1: We're so connected it I don't want to tell him about this major life thing I'm doing cause it might end it. Uh, that's the main reason why you should tell him. You need to know up front if he's up for that and he needs that information before either of you decide to go further.

[@ruffr4bb1t]

For story 2: what is with grown ass adults NEEDING to exert their power and energy over children. Arguing, yelling, breaking their stuff, as if they’re acting like they’re not fighting a literal child :|

[@quartzskull8772]

That title sounds exactly like a movie but I can't remember the name Edit: The back up plan

[@Old_Toby]

First story. What a cluster f in the spaghetti bowl. One positive thing. If homeboi wants to scoot, he ain't got nothin holding him back.

[@hanzolos1852]

Must not be a good businessman if hes gonna destroy a 6000 dollar piano rather than pawn it. I guess he was going for maximum emotional damage.

[@thelaughtophyena6916]

Story 1 makes me so happy, I'm a big sucker for happy endings

[@pezchef7577]

that friend definitely has a manipulative vein in her. so happy for OP and G!😍🤩

[@rewatteefroimchuk8589]

He didn't "damage" the piano, he destroyed it!

[@madisonl3401]

Almost 91k! Wohooo!!

[@ezekial7028]

5:42 Text : "child's dad" Mark : "dad's child"

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: YTA he needs to know what's going on. Part of the reason he brought up the conversation about "kids in the future" was probably to gauge if she had kids and where she is at in her life in regards to wanting them. That would have been the PERFECT moment to be honest and say "well before the pandemic, I was planning on a kid and it got cancelled when everything shut down". That would have told him exactly where she was at and he would have been able to ask further questions. Now thay she's going forward, she needs to be honest and tell him. This will allow him decide what he wants to do. Edit: I forgot about the friend. You don't just spring things like a BABY on people. You can love someone but not be willing to deal with a kid. That was not only bad advice, I'd be weary of her as a friend because she just showed she is dishonest as hell. Edit after update: this sounds like a super positive update. I am, of course, kind of leery. Let's see where the next update goes. Edit after update 2: 14 months is different than 2. My leeriness was based on him being so willing after 2 months After 14 months, it seems a more stable situation. OP seems to be a good person with a good head on her shoulders. They seemed to have handled it the best they could. Congrats OP!

[@atinyevil1383]

Story 2: “He issued an ultimatum, either the piano goes or he gets rid of it himself” that’s not an ultimatum. There’s no choice there because the end result is the same, which is no more piano. He’s not even giving OP an option. And then to just cut it to bits is barbaric. What a selfish man-baby to throw a fit and destroy something that is easily worth thousands of dollars (before factoring in sentimental value) and to do that to a child no less. This person is not mature enough for a relationship let alone a relationship AND a child. OP should take him to court to pay back the money for the piano. ETA: I hate the kind of comments calling OP an AH for “subjecting” her daughter to this. It’s victim blaming because, yes, OP is also a victim here. This is how abusers work. They act kind at the start of the relationship and slowly push the boundaries to see what they can get away with and tell the victim that they’re the one who’s being controlling when they try to set healthy boundaries. It’s not like OP just woke up one day and her husband was screaming at the kid. Like most victims, OP probably didn’t realize what he was doing was abuse until now because that’s what abusers do.

[@Callimo]

Probably. We don't know if OP rug swept any other red flags that the husband was showing just to keep things smooth. Maybe even hoping that he'd come around. But yeah, she WOULD be the AH if she STAYED with this dude after this horrific display. I'm glad she's making him pay for the piano, but that dude gotta GO.

[@ebrown7338]

The last story was INFURIATING!, especially the insipid update that started with "Hello!" Sacrine sweet greeting and then said "First..." but the only thing she did was give a justification of why she was with her husband! If there's a "first" then at least a "second," right? No "Second, I'm leaving him? Redditors, you were right I have to stop allowing my daughter to be abused," or "Second, I will choose to support and protect my daughter and divorce her abuser," or "Second, I plan for my daughter and me to start therapy since I have ejected my abusive, STB ex-husband from my home"... What's was "second?" Really praying for her daughter as she's clearly living in a nightmare with these tragic, insecure adults!

[@princesssunshine874]

girl, get a better friend! Tell him now. I would be so mad if i was dating someone, and as I was falling for them, they were like "oh, and by the way, I have a child." Girl, you can't have your cake and eat it too. You should have waited if you wanted this relationship.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Whoever is reading this i send hugs and great vibes. Drink water, eat food, nap, take a break, take care of yourself gosh darn it. And if you don't I swear I will find you and keep you in a cottage and take care of you. 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@tinywaterdrinker5136]

Story #1: Awesome ending but ngl I find it a little strange that OP's bf is this thrilled to be a new stepdad and have a gf who's pregnant with someone else's kid. That might be my paranoia talking tho. Story #2: So he suddenly hates and destroys his stepdaughter's passions and hi only reason doesnt make sense. He either hates his stepdaughter, is jealous of her, or doesnt hates any reference to her father (which would still circle back to him hating her since her existence is also a reference to her father). He's felt and has been acting on one of these for a long time.

[@mrjohnthedestroyer]

Stroy 2: Step Dad is TA for just not caring in the least for the step daughter but there should also have been ground rules on when to play on the days off so people can actually sleep in. He needs to replace the piano asap

[@TheArnaa]

Story 2: my first thought was husband wants the piano gone because Callie uses it to connect to her father’s memory. Heh. Just as I finished typing that Mark said the same thing. 😁 Husband is a total A. He always had a problem with this, but kept it under his hat until they were married when he felt like he had more power in the relationship. Then he kept escalating because the mum let him get away with his rubbish, so mum is an A for that. Husband is also an idiot because if he had supported and encouraged Callie they would have developed a father-daughter relationship and lived happily ever after as a united family.

[@nvfury13]

Story 2: OP is the AH for letting this guy into their lives, and an *extreme* AH for staying with him.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you remember to take care of yourself gosh darn it, you are always valid, and I love you and care about you so please take care of yourself 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@jamie7398]

Story 1 kind of reminds me of that Jennifer Lopez movie The Backup Plan. OP should tell him the truth.

[@dogsarefab]

Story 2- the father is abusive. end of discussion.

[@maurer3d]

Story 1: YTA, if you want to be a mom that's great, but you owe it to your S.O. to give him the choice of whether to continue with you or not. Story 1 Update (1): Go you told him and are better for it. Story 2: NTA, for demanding him pay for a new piano, but you are the AH for not divorcing the jerk. Also It is very unlikely he destroyed it, He most likely sold it. I would have called the police, filed for divorce, and sued for the value of the piano.

[@atinyevil1383]

Story 1: this is almost straight-up out of the movie How to be Single (great anti-romcom, would highly recommend). I don’t think OP is necessarily an AH for wanting to get pregnant, but I think it would have been a poor foundation for a relationship. Pregnancy is a huge step and not telling a partner about a pregnancy is a deal breaker for most people.

[@cm06c]

Isn’t it from “the back-up plan” with J-Lo?

[@greenteawithhoneyandcream7173]

Mark be like "dad's child" lol that cracked me up

[@jessicawolfe5861]

Piano story: this isn’t about a piano. He is saying his business vs the piano. It’s him vs Callie. And yeah he’s jealous.

[@itsjustmaddisen]

Title story sounds exactly like the plot to a movie called Baby Mama with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler 😂

[@Handalorian]

Upvote then view. This is the way.

[@GaboElGato]

Hi Mark!!!

[@DWPersianExcursion]

Love from Texas ❤️

[@browniewin4121]

1) Wow, tough situation to be in when you like a guy but it's very early on and you don't have time to waste if you want the best chance of having a child. I feel like you do need to be honest and upfront with this guy about what is going on with you and your intentions. YTA if you keep this info from him. After update: It's nice your relationship is going forward, I do hope you are successful at become a mother at some point. Good luck. After 2nd update: I'm glad you are a mother now, and that your relationship is good and continuing. 2) No, if he caused damage, he needs to pay for it. Your husband sounds like a pain, his behavior is unconscionable. He needs to be your X because anyone who could do what he did and treat your child as he has is a complete SOB, he needs to be gone. YTA for allowing him to disparage your daughter's love for playing and the piano that allowed her to feel close to her deceased father, and now if you stay with him. Do better, put your daughter first.

[@egalitarian2207]

We’ve moved a baby grand piano twice and it is expensive and a big pain. That’s some planning and dedication to destruction. The fuq

[@itazuranakisu]

I skimmed through but I'm assuming OP has a medical condition, infertility issues or is at a certain age where she's been having difficulty getting pregnant with past partners which is why she's in such a rush. Personally, I would've held off with how uncertain things on with a pandemic and how vulnerable newborns are to viruses (and basically everything especially until they're old enough to get the usual vaccines as we're not even talking about covid vaccination here). And obviously she should've told him her plans after the second date since she wanted to keep dating him.

[@inkdemon64mclemore57]

I'm sorry, but I had to comment early... Is it just me, or does story one remind anyone else of that Jennifer Lopez movie??? Plan B is what I think that it was called lol!!! Sorry ya'll, I woke up in one of my infamous prankster moods this morning, and I'm seeing the funny in everything today... Another great video Mark!!😁❤️

[@acatnamedm4529]

Story 2 - Buy a top end electronic piano with a headphone jack. It's something she can take to college or an apartment in the future and not annoy her neighbors at 2am. But yeah pay for the replacement & kick that dude out.

[@pickle_pup8187]

Story 2 - if OP’s husband doesn’t pay for it, she needs to go to the police and file a police report for vandalism and theft. If she doesn’t her parents can. OP also needs to divorce him. This isn’t going to end well. PS the piano is $6k - this is felony territory. If you have homeowners insurance, the claim could be filed through them too. The insurance co can SUE HIM! Her first priority is her daughter. PERIOD.

[@belial3781]

story 2 this is insane, aside from the clearly sentimental value that piano has, it's a piano. It's super expensive. That man destroyed an item worth easily upwards of 10k and for what? to stick it to a child? Not to mention that's not just something you do in the spur of the moment. Getting a whole ass piano anywhere requires planning.

[@AllistorMichelle]

story 2: nta for making him pay but AH for keeping him around long enough for him to do what he did. my late father never raised me. if he did i probably wouldn't be an artist today and might actually be dead. he wasn't the nicest guy and thought anything not oil paintings was a waste of time and not real art. Art is what's keeping me alive and sane. it gives me purpose. i gave up anime because of my late fathers comments towards them. that is how i know he would have done the same with my hobby. he was a nasty old man that thought he was right 100% and refused to google stuff. after his death i caught so many lies he told. op, my point is words hurt and can be damaging. but this AH you're married to destroyed something worth 6k$. his actions speak louder. he wasn't drove to insanity to do that. no. he did it on purpose. he even threaten to do it before he did it!

[@jjr9792]

Story 2 - Has anyone else noticed that posts asking WBAT? ahead of time, usually seem to have happier outcomes then those asking AITA? after the fact? these stories always seem to have happier endings when the OP comes to Reddit on here and post a WBAT first

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

It's a small thing, but I'd like to point out that what the piano smasher 'offered' wasn't an ultimatum. He'd already decided unilaterally that the piano would go, he simply gave them choices as to its removal, that being take it elsewhere or I destroy it.

[@purpleiguana208]

Story 2: Stepdad destroying the piano wasn't "a moment" of desperation or whatever. "A moment" of desperation would be like... there is something right in front of you and you pick it up and fling it across the room and it shatters against the wall. It happens in an instant before you have a chance to stop and think better of it. What he did was calculated. He needed to call in help, which means formulating the plan, making a call, waiting for help to show up, loading the piano into whatever vehicle, driving down to the junkyard, unloading the piano from the vehicle, gathering the equipment to cut it into pieces, and then actively cutting it into pieces. AT ANY POINT in this process, dude could have said, "Wait... this is wrong. I need to stop." But he carried it through to conclusion. It wasn't "a moment" of desperation. It was a very calculated plan that went exactly like he wanted it to... except that he expected OP to just accept that what's done is done rather than to fight back about it and demand it be replaced.

[@delilahbelle2125]

2nd story: AH husband: "either the piano goes or I get rid of it." Me: "dude, those aren't really different choices. How about YOU go and the piano stays? Boy bye."

[@jeancarbonneau6966]

In story 1, OP is the asshole for withholding this kind of information to her boyfriend. The fact that she did tell him and he accepted what she wanted is a big lucky relief. Not all men would have accepted this. Plus, there was mention that they may want a child together which is great also. One thing I'm surprised about is the fact that OP didn't switch to her boyfriend's sperm for insemination. Maybe they'll do this in the future. I'm glad they're still together and are basically coping with the baby. In the end, OP became a not the asshole here with what she decided to do.

[@romonaelrod7870]

Woo hoo 2nd, hello again you cheeky Waffle loving so and so's. Hiya Mark and Poppy. 🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇

[@mage6475]

The fact that that man-child let his jealousy over a DECEASED MAN get the better of him, DESTROYING something his step-daughter loves, is insane. He's been nothing but unsupportive, and the fact he even got it into his head to destroy the piano is crazy. Not only that, but someone else from his side of the family or a friend helped him move it, and his father probably helped him destroy it. The entire family of the husband is toxic for their views and their actions. Siding with him like that, disgusting. I'm surprised his mother didn't come rolling up with her purse to slap the shit out of her son for doing that to that poor girl. But then again, he must've gotten his toxicity from somewhere. It doesn't matter that you think it's a waste of time, the least you can do is keep your mouth shut if you have nothing positive to say about it. Especially if the kid's grades aren't suffering. Then you have the fact OP even so much as considered moving it. Did the husband ask the child first to please not play that early on his days off? I doubt it. He just used it as an excuse as to why the piano had to be removed. And OP agreed to it, asking him where to move it to. OP should've told him not to make those comments the moment they started, even if it annoyed him. Negativity affects children way worse than adults, especially if it comes from someone that has authority over her (which OP clearly did give him to some extent) and is someone she can't escape, because she lives with him. She had to hear his nagging about it for years on end. OP said it started when he started living with them. But she still went ahead and married him before straightening him out? Are you kidding me? You failed your daughter, so so bad, for all the years you made her go through this. And even now that it came to this, that he thought this was apparently acceptable because you never corrected him on how he shouldn't mistreat your daughter, you still don't tell him to get the fuck out? I would've told him you either give that money now or I'll sue your ass for damages to the piano and emotional damages done to my daughter, and I will demand more than the 6k for the paino. But either way you get the fuck out. She also should've said when he made the ultimatum "either you get rid of it or I do it myself" OP will get rid of him and divorce his sorry ass. Giving an ultimatum like that over something your daughter loves. Unless he communicated multiple times to your daughter that those are his days off and he'd appreciate it if she didn't play at those times, he's an absolute ass for using it as some lame excuse to push his narrative. And even then, that's up to you and your husband to communicate with her about what to do next if she doesn't listen, but ripping it away like that, no. Just no. Not only that, but did you actually hear her play at that time? Or is he just making shit up? He better gives OP the money, and then gets kicked to the curb. Don't need no new business around them, he better moves it elsewhere. Hope he has fun losing money for a hotel room, or being holed up back at his parents' place, while he looks for a rental place. Stop failing your damn kid, OP

[@EveryFairyDies]

Story 1: Wasn't that a Jennifer Lopez movie, lol Story 2: THAT'S NO WAY TO TREAT AN EXPENSIVE MUSICAL INSTRUMENT!!! And as a wanna be musician/actor who was constantly asked "what are you going to do for a real job?" I identified way too much with the daughter. If someone did that to my piano, I'd be arrested for murder and wouldn't be ashamed of it.

[@FriedaMMartin]

Good afternoon! I hope all is well

[@ian7064]

Wouldn't it have been easier (and cheaper) to just have a child with this guy instead of doing a donation?

[@Crux_JCr]

I think she had fertility issues as she really seems sure there is a window on when she will not be able to have kids at all. It could be she never gets pregnant sleeping with g. Or she falls pregnant the first time. Or that they have to try for years. Her window drawing more closed every year and causing stress and damaging the relationship.