My Mom Just Turned My Life UPSIDE DOWN But Wants Me To Carry On As Normal r/Relationships

[@Citizenesse8]

This poor girl has been left to her own devices with no help, a bunch of stupid adults around her, and isolated from real confidential therapeutic help. She can't even see that her mother is being the biggest jerk in the situation. That girl needs help and she needs help to process her feelings and make sense of what's going on and all she has around her are self-serving adults. They're not the worst but they are severely hamstringing this girl's well-being.

[@mask938]

I hope she realizes that her mother is a controlling bitch and goes to a therapist while she's away, one that isn't in her mother's web of control.

[@fireblast3001]

Hopefully her time at uni, away from all of that drama and her mom, will help her see that. I feel like, because she grew up in that type of environment, she truly believes that the adults actions are normal and that it's everyone else that is wrong. Her love for her mom and her former -uncle-now-dad has blinded her from all of the red flags that are obvious to us and everyone outside of her immediate family.

[@CarinaCoffee]

As well as the half-siblings. Let's hope they all grow out of their resentment and reconnect one day, but unless they all get therapy now, or even if they did, all their relationships have taken a severe hit. Without therapy it will probably be that much worse.

[@cyreneB]

mostly when children have one parent or one parent that "better" functions the bond between the child and parent is tighter in a way and the parent worship can be stronger, like my parent does so much for me, they have to be awesome or and hearing "I do so much for you" might have a deal in why the girl thinks her mom is great. the adults in this are sure out of a bit common sense and empathy for all their children

[@onurkneezb]

@Citezenesse Not just left alone, isolated, she is not being allowed to seek outside help (only allowed to see the mom's best friend counselor at the school), and this isolation is leaving her ill prepared for adulthood, not to mention everything else mom did that causes her to turn into a sobbing mess when facing a difficult situation.

[@AndyyWithAY]

OP says her mom is the best mom, but her mom is truly awful. I find it hard to believe that this is the only situation she has mishandled so horribly.

[@Casey5693]

The worst part for me is how she'll only allow her daughter to get therapy with her friend. She's being so controlling.

[@bettynolo23]

Yeah even from the perspective of a clearly biased child, this woman isn't coming off well. To me it seems that she the only person the mom truly cares about is herself, not OP. I feel so sorry for this kid.

[@Bijecarli]

Oh her mom is a goddamned mess, and she ended up turning her daughter into a selfish as person as she is. Even at 16, you know not to betray your best friend since kindergarten. OP's mom didn't really consider anyone else except herself when she revealed the truth, except herself. This kind of selfishness trickled down to OP as Op became dismissive of her half siblings feelings. The father at least told her to apologize but even he didn't follow up. He saw her tears and just forgot about his other children's pain. I honestly don't understand how the bestfriend could be around such awful people and have children with one of them. Even OP doesn't really see anything wrong with what she said, simply because she didn't have a convential father

[@Bijecarli]

Fuck, even as a a child outside of marriage, she got more than most kids in her situation do. I've seen bio parents in their children's lives do WAY less, so I feel an even more decreasing amount of sympathy for OP's situation. The more I type the more I dislike her. She is on a dark path.

[@TsukiKageTora]

All the adults handled this bad. They were nice to OP, sure, but all the kids were having their lives uprooted and they don’t take them to therapy.

[@Davtwan]

“My mom told me nothing’s different.” Also mom: works late, doesn’t make favorite foods, made her daughter take sex-ed, doesn’t allow bfs, cut down extracurricular activities, and allows her daughter to hang out with friends only at her home all because her daughter turned 16. Yeah, nothing’s changed. 🙄

[@TsukiKageTora]

The story 4 update is cruel. Olivia and David said their kids wanted to apologize, which obviously they knew they didn’t. They didn’t change any of the behavior and still sent OP in a minefield of hurt when they chose to raise her hopes the “cousins” she has wanted to apologize but they doubled down and hated her. Do NOT effing lie about someone wanting to apologize to someone else. It’s painful and cruel to raise someone’s hopes just to see them shatter even worse than before. And is no adult in this story making anyone take therapy!? Jesus Christ it’s the same as “kids will be kids”, dismissive. They need therapy because the adults uprooted 3 kids’ lives and expect them all to be happy and accept it. Therapy might help the kids realize the ones at fault are the adults rather than the one girl who chose not to be born as an affair baby.

[@streamerssaymyname]

All 3 are bad parents.

[@SkyEcho751]

It feels like not a single adult actually CARES about OP, they want OP to be happy for sure, but they don't actually care enough to properly take care of OP. Both OP and her half-siblings need to go to therapy, because he level of vitriol they feel is immense. And I 100% expect it to cause even worse issues in the future.

[@Streetwisefirst]

they should have told their kids away from OP allow them to ask questions and give them time to get used to the idea of having a someone they thought was just a cousin now see as a sibling. Instead they drop this bomb on them with OP right there and expect them to just deal with and be happy. They’re probably territorial and feeling possessive of their dad. These kids need to go to family therapy.

[@jaymel4691]

All 3 parents are horrible. This whole mess could've been avoided if they had all been upfront with their kids from the start and raised them all knowing OP was their half sister. Olivia knew about the "affair baby" from the start and apparently didn't think it was a big deal, even seems to love OP too. So there was no reason to keep it secret. All it did was hurt all their kids.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

@@jaymel4691More than the parents are AHs. Her real biological uncle won’t let her cousins visit her and her gp’s won’t look her in the face? So she’s being for her mom’s transgressions. ALL the adults in this story are AHs.

[@ToxicSunrise132]

All of the adults in this story are behaving like they're children. If everyone had just had the courage to be honest from the get-go this wouldn't be the five alarm dumpster fire it's turned into. Heck, I don't even understand why there was secrecy to begin with. David seems to have wanted to be a dad to OP all along and Olivia seems to have gotten over the cheating - why all the subterfuge? Now Olivia and David's children are lashing out at OP because they don't know how to process this new revelation and everything is a mess

[@NyxToStyx]

Read the original post. It seems like they are from a very small rural town and it’s possible none of them had access to therapy. OP’s mom probably got pregnant at 15 and was shunned for it by her own family. They grew up with this shitty situation and they are now trying to do their best. I honestly feel uncomfortable with how many people judge OP’s mom given the context. She isn’t doing great, but her good intentions are obvious

[@beingWantable]

@@NyxToStyx That does give a bit more context and kindoff explains why they would've kept it a secret at first. Because of their "old ways". They are also still about 32 which is still young. But OP is 16 and the half sibling is what, 13? (In my country we don't have that type of gradesystem so no clue about that). Meaning David and Olivia got a child pretty soon after. I Think there is way more drama behind the scenes, like they only got over their bitterness recently or when they saw OP crying. It would've been way better if they were clear from the beginning about it. But yeah, the adults in the story still need to learn too I guess.

[@NyxToStyx]

@@beingWantable it certainly would have been better, but kids talk. And when things like that come up in such a small town it rarely causes anything good. It could have made things difficult at school for sure… I totally get why her mother pressures her so much into getting a good education since she probably sees it as an escape route for her daughter that she most likely didn’t have

[@NyxToStyx]

@@beingWantable Oh for sure. It’s definitely an ESH situation, but at least they are trying. All of them should technically get therapy to deal with this, but this is the kind of trauma that lives in certain communities throughout generations. I’m just happy there is no malice, no abuse or anything. The best friend could have been horrible, the father could have been a complete deadbeat instead of at least having some connection and the mother could have been abusive and resentful after being forced to have a child at that age which basically ruined her life.

[@GMAMEC]

The “adults” had at least 2 of these kids before the age of 20. The mother was disowned and likely had a toigh time raising her daughter alone.. She pushed this young lady to graduate early, which is impressive, but I am not sure if she is ready to leave home. I hope OP has a life filled with success and happiness.

[@who_the_fuck_is_riley5813]

OPs mom is a horrible person honestly. How controlling she is over OP, how she lied to OP for so long about her father, how she slept with her best friend's boyfriend OPs dad is a real piece of work too. A cheater and a dad masquerading as an uncle because he wouldn't even be hands on with his kid Everyone sucks here except OP and maybe their aunt.

[@MrJpaynebb]

Everyone needs therapy, not just that school counselor but an outside therapist l. Especially all the kids. Their world has been flipped do to this news. The sooner they can all get individual as well as some family counseling the better. Mom is doing a big disservice to OP by not doing so.

[@johnsmith-kt7ef]

Ya this is why the way OP writes and cries at every moment, she sounds like she hasnt aged mentally past 9 years old. She is 16 and graduated from highschool and has been sheltered so much she will have a tough time in the real world.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

Yep. OP will figure it out eventually when her mother keeps destroying all relationships she has. You just know her mom is going to try to drive away every bf/gf OP has. And then she's going to be the overbearing mother-in-law from h*ll if OP does manage to get married.

[@Bijecarli]

OP is on a dark path too, as she sees nothing wrong with dismissing her siblings anguish over such a sudden change. The kids said hurtful things, but look what is happening around them. They are being forced to accept a new reality, just as OP was made to, only now OP sees nothing wrong with how her siblings are being treated.

[@Bijecarli]

OP is becoming just as selfish as her mother, honestly.

[@WobblesandBean]

"My mom's the best mom. She's neglectful, manipulative, cruel, and controlling, but she's seriously great!"

[@justine8387]

She us still so young and still so dependent on her mother for her emotional and material needs.

[@kinkaid8553]

tbh all of this could have been solved if they where just open about it. the kids would have grown up knowing her as a sister rather than an interloper. it would have been no different from divorced parents with kids with their new partners. the "adults" are the real arseholes here.

[@haraldjensen3935]

That whole story was a gigantic cluster fuck from start to finish. I just don't understand why all of mom's relatives hates OP, it's not her fault that she was borne. Glad the she is able to move on with her life, all the best to OP.

[@NyxToStyx]

I read the original post. They basically speculated and OP kinda confirmed that they come from a very small rural town. That’s also why her mother is so insistent on her daughter having a good education so she has the possibility to get out of there. That woman got pregnant at probably 15 and got shunned for it. While that doesn’t make everything in this story ok, it definitely explains her mother’s behaviour. It’s possible she never had access to therapy and she’s just focused on doing what she thinks is needed to prevent her daughter from having a similar life.

[@mariem8705]

@@NyxToStyx she isn’t doing her any favors by sheltering her. imo op is just too naive to just up and go be independent at to college/program. I was in her shoes when it came to her having a helicopter parent and got a rude awakening when I was on my own.

[@NyxToStyx]

@@mariem8705 yeah, it’s not good but it doesn’t make her a bad person. Her mother is trying to do her best with the limited knowledge she has. It’s not like she had her family around her to help her or anyone in a similar situation she could turn to. People here seem to hate in the mom a lot, but I honestly just feel bad for her and think it’s honourable that she’s trying so hard to make things better for her daughter. That still doesn’t mean she’s doing great, no, but her good intentions are clear

[@kingturtle24k81]

She not moving on she running away from the truth and living in denial

[@jarodjohnson6630]

@@NyxToStyx I'm not excusing David because a POS and Olivia should have left him when she found out but the mom there is more to her motive then OP want to admit. I don't fully believe that the mother's family completely shunned her I think that she felt and feels shame about not only being pregnant at such a young age but by her best friend's husband in who she is still in love with and is probably never stopped their on going affair. I'm sure the mother is a good samaritan and a taxpayer but sucks as a mother and a friend. OP may never psychologically recover from this

[@jbgra2566]

I'm so sad for OP. She's so in denial that all the adults around her are failing her and the other kids.

[@demonic_myst4503]

Bot just failing her mums a narcicistic conteol freak who was willing lie to her best friend her whole life of she didbt find out herself , slept with her beat friends boyfeiwnd and pushed her crap on her child The aubt is a doormat and a apathetic ass tryibg ignore her own and her kids emotions purely to keeo the peace The dad is a incensayive selfish asshole who only cares for his own gain in the situation

[@tyron2854]

Yup

[@oratiletsimatsima9643]

I fear she is going to turn out like her mom. She really has no awareness about social codes and thebetrayal. The gall of her to expect her father's kids to get over it, because she didn't have her dad full-time. I fear she is also going to be like her mom.

[@tyron2854]

@@oratiletsimatsima9643 yup, her mind is already going to be twisted because she’s going to think the stuff her parents did is normal

[@oratiletsimatsima9643]

@@tyron2854 She needs to emancipate and get serious therapy or else, her and her friends are doomed.

[@mrsbobanna]

I don't think it's right that OP told her siblings to "get over it" but I see it as a product of her being around dismissive adults all her life

[@shells500tutubo]

She only did that after they turned on her. They are younger, sure, but they are pretty hateful. When I was that age I was somewhat interested to find out I had another sibling who I had known my entire life. My response wasn't to hate that person.

[@bunnyslippers191]

That's what her mom and even her dad and his wife have done to her, so she thinks it's the appropriate thing to say to someone whose entire life has turned upside down. That's what the adults in her life have taught her. All the adults want all the kids to "just get over it" so the adults' lives will be easier.

[@rebekahsegun8319]

@@shells500tutubo Yeah well you know what? Telling someone just to "get over" a bombshell being dropped on them isn't going to help. She just gave them even more of a reason to hate her. Not to mention she's a hypocrite. She herself didn't like having to "get over" the revelation of their dad also being hers, but she expects them to do it? Yeah, their anger is misplaced, and OP should distance herself from them if they're being so hateful towards her, but what she said was pretty mean and she should apologise. Everyone, including OP is dismissing and invalidating the half siblings' feelings in this situation.

[@mariem8705]

@@shells500tutubo they just found out they’ve been lied to as well, that they’ve had a sister their the whole time and that their dad cheated on their mother. Now they’re expected to be okay with everything and to act like one big happy family? And they just started their teen years!? They all need therapy and time.

[@Jamie-gc9cp]

@@shells500tutubo actually most people's response to finding out your friend is a product of your father's affair would be hate. Like if right now you find out your best friend is your sibling because your dad has been cheating on your mom. You would immediately be able to love them as a silbling? you wouldn't need some time to get use to it? and you are an adults. they are children. OP is 16, born when the adults were 16. So if uncle david got married 18, that means the kids are 13 and under. like are you expecting emotional maturity from preteens??

[@omnipossum92]

Man, I hate that line "my parent could have given me up so therefore they aren't a shit parent". Makes me wonder if the parent dropped that line throughout their life.

[@heatherholzhaus7013]

I just have to say.... the adults in OP's life have just dropped the ball. Therapy for both OP and dad's other kids, and Family Therapy for all of them is much needed

[@TsukiKageTora]

The AITA post makes me sad since you’d think the children told their mom and dad they don’t like OP being their sister or something in private and they chose to leave OP with their children. No adults are handling this and putting the stress of everything on this poor 16 year old making her choose to do things and putting her in situations that no young underaged teenager should be in. She deserves better than that. The mom should be ashamed and the dad and wife should open their eyes

[@keplersdream901]

Yeah, though OP is no winner here. She's being completely selfish and bratty by bitching about her half-siblings' understandable reaction to "the news." She needs therapy, certainly, but she also needs a slap across the face as a reality check.

[@sweetambitions2381]

That’s the point. By leaving a punching bag for them to release their anger on, the parents can naturally continue to pretend life’s good. They certainly won’t care about pushing an unwanted thing out to take all the hits. At most it’s like having your door beaten down. You’d be annoyed that you have to be bothered to replace it but otherwise who’d pity the door?

[@keplersdream901]

@@sweetambitions2381 Yeah, but at some point, OP needs to be held accountable for her own actions. She's not a child. A teenager, yes, but not a child. She IS capable of seeing things, but chooses not to because she is getting the attention that she wants from bio dad. Her selfishness does need to called out.

[@TailsFan]

@@keplersdream901 It's not selfish to desperately cling to something that she was deprived of for so long. And it's not like she's trying to take him from his family, she's just calling him "dad", and the kids are being selfish and telling her she can't do that when the dad has told her she can and is happy about it. The adults ALL suck, every single one, and the children are all victims. And that includes OP, who was lied to her whole childhood and then when she was told the truth and accepted by her bio-father and his wife, their kids that USED to like her suddenly decided they hated her for something SHE DIDN'T DO. THAT is selfish. If they liked her before, why the hell did they decide to hate her now? Why did they like her before, or were they just pretending and hated her all along? Going from "cousin" to "older sister" changes nothing, they can still be close family. OP frankly needs to get some proper friends to suggest proper therapy that won't report to her mom and then cut her entire family out of her life. This is toxic.

[@mariem8705]

I’m worried about op going off to college, she’s extremely sheltered and has a helicopter mother.

[@bbjjbb61]

OP is protective of her mom because she's all she has. I actually understand this. It took becoming an adult and having my own kid to understand just how messed up the adults around me, especially my mom, were. She died when I was 16 and as a result I was desperate to hold her in high esteem for as long as possible. Realizing someone you loved more than anything was genuinely screwed up and screwed you up too is a really hard realization to come to. Through years of counseling I've hated her, loved her, pitied her, and finally accepted that she was human. The fact that I couldn't speak to her made the process extra long and difficult.

[@maleandrolemale9467]

You are absolutely right!

[@SailorMya]

So, it was no secret to his wife of her being his child and they still didn't tell her or have a real father/daughter relationship!? They could have had that relationship with her and nothing would have changed besides her calling her "uncle" dad and her "aunt" step-mom??? If they had done this from the start all the kids would have grown up as half siblings and not be pissed at her now and OP wouldn't have grown up without a dad... This is just too sad...

[@Russman67]

It's amazing how the adults as an entire group have managed to fail this child. Everybody knew about it, and they just figured they let it ride until she's 16 and then just act like everything's cool. And her half siblings are probably standing there wondering "Now what the hell else do we not know?"

[@brandi5126]

S1: your mom handled this poorly and you would benefit from seeing a therapist that isn't connected to your mom in any way.

[@kristinicole2055]

The fact that her mom doesn’t want her to see an actual therapist tells me she’s got more to hide and she’s probably abused this child but doesn’t want her to realize that via therapy.

[@iSmileyPerson]

@@kristinicole2055 Fr. The mom just wants the control and the ability to ask her friend what her daughter has been saying in therapy.

[@abowlofsangria3412]

This is pretty messed up all around. The other kids' emotions about the whole ordeal are basically abandoned. OP's mom, aunt, and bio dad want the kids to carry on like nothing changed. Plus, OP is more involved with herself and her own feelings (which I can *somewhat* excuse, cuz those teenage hormones are rocking her). She probably doesn't want her family dynamic to change, but it has. She needs to talk to somebody completely OUTSIDE of her family circle to gather her thought cuz that highschool counselor is not cutting it.

[@Yllania]

What the hell is with this post? The teenage OP is not at fault for ANYTHING. The other kids emotions are not her responsibility to take care of, and she has been kind and more adult to them than any of the adults. All their worlds just got rocked, the kids abandoned feelings are THEIR PARENTS fault and responsibility. OP doesnt need to be excused. She didnt do anything and her feelings are valid and not just hormones. They can be angry, shes allowed to be hurt by it. Shes handling it the best she can which is better than I can say for her mother, who isolated her and wont let her have therapy.All the kids need it. None of the kids including her have been at fault or responsible for this and the adults failed all of them. You're incredibly unkind and she doesnt need you to SOMEWHAT be able to excuse her. Put the shaming where it belongs, on the Adults.

[@abowlofsangria3412]

@@Yllania I'm not saying the kids or her are at fault. The parents aren't handling the situation great. They've completely put their attention to OP and not the other children. Obviously, the adults need to take responsibility, but that's not gonna happen. What I'm saying is that OP still needs to talk these her feelings out with someone (a proper professional) outside of her family circle to get a better perspective on the situation. When you're a teenager stuck within your immediate family circle, it's hard to achieve (esp with the highschool counselor being a friend of the mom).

[@Tammohawk1]

How can you have a child and not tell that child who their father is? I can't imagine it First off, she cheated with her "best" friends at the time boyfriend and then hides the truth. That's not a good parent but a messed up parent. OP will realize just how messed up her mom is as she gets older.

[@kyraevermoon5544]

I feel so bad for OP. Literally every adult in her life has failed her and her half siblings. One day, I hope she wises up and goes no contact with all of them. I know the half sibs will when they grow up. Just... cut all those terrible humans out.

[@kingturtle24k81]

How are the half siblings terrible. When they are just as much the victims and on top of that everyone is putting how they feel on the back burner i hate parents that demand their kids fall in line with their choices

[@kyraevermoon5544]

@@kingturtle24k81 I never said the half sibs were terrible. I said the adults failed op op and them, and that they will go NC with their parents.

[@ineedhoez]

No contact? They aren't intentionally trying to hurt her. Y'all emotionally immature people need to grow up. You don't cut people out of your life because they are humans who make mistakes. This situation was a cluster but EVERYONE Loves OP. Y'all need to stop weaponizing no contact. You're just abusive AHs.

[@BruinPhD2009]

This is one of the saddest stories I’ve heard in a long time. All the children have been traumatized by the adults who are, surprise surprise, acting like children. The “adults” couldn’t have failed all the young people in this mess more, even if they tried. Other than some serious counseling for everyone (which doesn’t seem likely given OP’s mother’s attitude), this is just gonna be a slow motion train wreck for years to come.

[@jaredmorales5130]

I haven't wanted to smack someone as much as these adults. Like Good God, they are making the WORST possible decisions the whole time. *shake my head*

[@jaymel4691]

It's so sad that OP keeps defending her mom, dad, and even Olivia when they have ALL failed her, and continue to do so. Also, of course the cousins are angry, she's NTA but she doesn't get to tell those kids they're wrong to feel the way they do either. This mess is from a the adults keeping terrible secrets from all their kids. Then they only make it worse by trying to force everyone to just suck it up and accept it.This is as much of a shock and trauma to the cousins as it was to OP, maybe even more so. Instead of gaining a father like OP, they have now gained an intruder who, to them, is trying to steal their father. All the kids need therapy here, and a chance to deal with their feelings without their parents butting in and trying to make everyone play the happy family. I hope OP gets her own therapy through her college once she goes.

[@briant7134]

The adults’ lack of emotional intelligence in this story is mind boggling. They didn’t coordinate a plan for the eventuality that OP found out the truth, they didn’t prep OP’s siblings, OP’s mom won’t send her to counseling unless it’s to the school spy… errr counselor. But hey, a small vacation is a good replacement, right? I’m glad OP isn’t consumed by hate towards the adults in her life, but I do hope that one day she sees what they did for what it is, especially her mom. Only then can they really begin the process of healing and maturing into the better person her parents want her to be.

[@Mewse1203]

TL;DR EDIT: The theme of this story is "total abject failure" Story 1: "Nothing's different" Really? NOTHING? Is she that delusional? She just rocked her kid's world and then started treating her like a prisoner. Literally EVERYTHING is different. OP needs some serious outside help and the fact mom won't let her talk to anyone else about it is gross. Mom is a menace. Edit after update: while it seems mom finally got her head put of her ass, I justbfeelnlike every adult here is an abject failure. If everyone knew, there was NO REASON to keep it secret for so long. The jjust hurt OP and the other kids for what seems like no reason. Edit after AITA update: she's right. It isn't her fault. It's their's. Trying to force an apology for their very real feelings based on the surprise they just dropped on their kids is awful. They blame OP, but like OP they aren't putting the blame where it deserves: on the adults. No one has thought about how any of these kids feel. Now they are putting OP's feelings above the literal children. Abject failure on every adult in this story.

[@NCAnon]

You said it better than i could

[@Nihlus16]

Literally every adult here is incompetent, these poor kids...I wish the best for all of them!

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

For real I’m just shaking my head at the lack of concern any of the adults have had for the kids this entire time. First, stomping on confidentiality because the mom is a friend of the school counselor and refusing to let OP see an actual therapist. Second, not getting ANY help for the younger kids who just had a massive secret dropped on them and are expected to be emotionally mature and intelligent enough to handle this on their own. These adults are all screw ups who need to fix their shit fast or this is unlike to ever resolve itself.

[@TsukiKageTora]

And no adult thought of giving them therapy, because of whatever trivial stupid reason I’m sure. They need help managing their emotions during being uprooted from their normal lives

[@memeking7273]

Amen

[@jtcookie96]

The younger kids NEED THERAPY

[@tinafogarty404]

Story 1- OP needs time to get used to the idea, but she thinks her half siblings don’t deserve the same process

[@shells500tutubo]

They have all found out in basically the same time frame, the difference being that the siblings have both parents in a stable home and have missed NOTHING. They have not been shunned by their entire maternal family for no reason other than being born, they have always had both parents IN THE HOME their entire lives. There is nothing selfish about OP, and despite her problems she has excelled academically. She needs to leave that godforsaken town and never return.

[@-notmycat]

@@shells500tutubo So? You think just because the other kids had it "easy" their feeling aren't valid? The kids are younger and just found out life changing news. They need time and space to process it. Therapy is nesessary for all the kids from the story. It's clear they aren't coping well with the news and no one's actually there to help them navigate through it. Op is young and that excuses her a bit, but she's not trying to understand her half sibling's feelings at all. She wants to play a happy family with bunch of disfunctional adults and kids in need of therapy.

[@Jamie-gc9cp]

@@shells500tutubo OP had at least a week more than them. OP also had all the adults on her side. Also OP is 16 while the other kids are like 10-12.

[@SueTainsh]

@@-notmycat how the fuck did you come to that conclusion from shells comment?

[@chrisidornigie]

OP’s mind is really warped… Her mother and dad are just a mess…. OP down playing her feelings and desperately trying to get what she can and defend it. Poor OP, I feel a wave of anger coming.

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

Charlotte said it best "Oh what a tanled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive." The adults in this situation were all AH. They should have been honest with OP much earlier. At least once her dad and aunt started having children. I cannot blame OPs half siblings for the way they have responded. Their life was turned upside down just like OPs. They need to get all 3 kids in both individual, and family therapy.

[@MariMotherofGoblins]

This story is so sad. Especially the siblings taking their anger out on the op. The op is obviously not at fault for just wanting to have a family. And the siblings anger is misplaced. They are just to little to be mad at their parents who are the ones who kept this secret all these years. I hope one day all these kids can realize how crappy this was and that it's the adults in their lives that did it, not the kids.

[@Voodoomaria]

Story #1: I'm going to fixate on ONE point here. The School counsellor is a childhood friend of her mother, and calls OP's mother in when OP won't talk to her. OP should file a complaint for unprofessional conduct with the school board, AND the regulating authority that oversees this woman's counselling credentials. HOW CAN OP BE EXPECTED TO FEEL SAFE WHEN SHE KNOWS HER CONFIDENTIALITY WILL NOT BE RESPECTED?? Mother won't let her talk to anyone else because she's afraid her dirty little secret will get out. The counsellor should be struck off.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

Every adult in poor OP's life seems to have let her down in one way or another. School counselor by sharing everything with her mom, her mom for being super strict and not defending OP's existence to her own family (OP said maternal grandparents and aunt/uncle 'hate' her), her mom & uncle David for not preparing her from an earlier age about who dad was, David and Olivia for not preparing their own children before dropping the bombshell, and Olivia for inviting OP over 'for an apology' apparently without discussing this with her own children. I hope a year away, and then on to college helps OP get a wider perspective - maybe her half-siblings too - and things get a little better. Maybe she can even seek safe counseling with someone who won't run to her mom with info.

[@clairebear-96]

For anyone wondering what aromantic is, it just means you don’t feel romantic attraction to people :) some aromantic people are also asexual, meaning no sexual attraction, but you can be one of them without the other (for instance i’m asexual but not aromantic)

[@pantalaimon8433]

I’m aroace it like that

[@scrotuspotus6632]

Cringe.

[@vulpixle9659]

I’m lithosexual meaning I feel attraction but I don’t like it when people are attracted to me

[@vulpixle9659]

@@scrotuspotus6632 your cringe

[@clairebear-96]

@@scrotuspotus6632 No u

[@unluckypuppy13]

It seems obvious the OP is in denial and can't possibly think is of her mom dad and aunt as bad people because she believes they're literally the only ones that will love her and as her only options they must be good people.

[@shinobusfan7306]

Honestly I don't like any adult in this story their own mistakes is putting all the kids in a down swirl and I hate how they just immediately expected the step kids to accept this.

[@shells500tutubo]

@@shinobusfan7306 There are no stepkids in this drama, they are hal-siblings.

[@Ospyro3em]

Wow, all the adults dealt with this in probably the worst way possible. Poor OP

[@cocopuffs1124]

Hi! So weirdly enough I relate a lot to OP. I found out the man I’ve been calling dad my whole life wasn’t my biological father when I was her age(16) and I’m nineteen now. This shit rocks your world and its the loneliness feeling ever. I’m still healing from finding out and I can only hope the best for OP and that they get a good support system besides her mom( who isn’t that great imo) and finds people who’ll be there for her. Family doesn’t have to be blood.

[@willwallinger5932]

I feel this. Same situation for me, but I was 12 when I was told. I didn't really break down, but it changed me. It's been 20 years since I found out. It does get easier, even if you don't get over it. I hope that you find your peace.

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

Sounds like Mom in the first story is trying to force her daughter to grow up early so she can shirk responsibility.

[@sylviajones6745]

Well, damn, I cried for that poor child. She did nothing but being born. Shameful how every adult failed her. My heart hurts for her and the tears in my eyes burn for her. Hoping her life gets better soon 🤞❤

[@simoneperkins4419]

As someone who's only seen school therapists for any kind of professional mental help. They are horrible. If you tell them something going on with your home life (got in an argument with your parents etc) there's a risk they will call CPS on you for the smallest reasons. Also if you have a 504/IEP plan they report everything you talk to them about to anyone involved with it. That being said I feel very bad for OP for also having that school therapist being their only experience with a mental health professional while they are also their moms friend. Speaking from personal experience, that kind of experience could really damage trust in therapists in general. I hope for OPs sake they do get a therapist outside of school where they have to respect the laws surrounding privacy such as HIPPA which are unfortunately laws schools don't abid by.

[@deborahspears.15]

the sixteen year old is actually turning into her mother , someone who doesn't actually care about others and i'm sure dad and mom are still keeping secrets the ones that the uncles and grandparents know

[@jakeking3859]

It is so sad that everyone in her life is taking it out on her. It's not her fault for being born. It's her mother and father's fault for sleeping around behind her friends back. Truly disgusting Edit: in that update where she tells the kids to just get over it, she's acting exactly like her mother. If she doesn't get some serious therapy, she'll complete the cycle and end up in exactly the same position, wondering why her daughter's crying after suddenly being told some earth shattering news

[@bethanntay]

She slept with her best friends man, he cheated on his girlfriend.... oh my. Even as a teen, I knew that was a no no. Shame on both of them.

[@champslim]

What a freaking wreaking ball... Give those kids some grace! Why does every adult in this story suck so hard???!!

[@DayumSonny]

The legacy of delusion continues.

[@littlestrawberryfaery]

Poor auntie Olivia... She's been through so much... I'm not sure how she can even stay around these people. I respect Olivia so much for loving op despite all this. Adding this seeing how controlling the mom is and how dismissive the dad is I wonder if they abused Olivia into being okay with everything and forgiving them for all this...

[@ViixenVox]

I see a lot of people who are ripping into OP for invalidating her siblings feelings. I don't really see that at all. I think it's more likely she didn't post all of her feelings. Can we stop only holding OP to blame? The children literally cornered OP and started attacking her. One of which is a teenager in middle school. You can still be an asshole even though you are younger. Should OP have apologized after lashing out? Probably, but the real AH's are the parents who are refusing to get therapy for their children. They caused these issues, and are now leaving their kids to handle it. The people who are putting their all into attacking OP should redirect that energy to the parents.

[@PrismCasillica]

$20 says OP's mom wanted her to graduate early so she can get rid of her faster with the way she refuses to be there for her emotionally except for cuddles.

[@Tryyourhand]

In relation to the mother informing the daughter about a real father, I get the feeling. The mother is not over the real father and having OP as a daughter is a constant reminder of what she did and her life results of her own decisions. Like she regrets having that reminder and wants her out of her life so she can be free. a terrible position or imposition to put on OP from the mother!

[@martyandrews2482]

I think that the main problem with OP's siblings is that their dad never told them about her. I met my dad when I was 21, and he had told 2 of my 3 sisters about me when they were old enough to understand. My youngest sibling wasn't told until after I met him due to them being 6 at the time. Heck, the only way I was able to connect with him was through messaging my middle sister on FB 😂

[@garthrogers2269]

Poor OP and her siblings. The adults, especially OPs mum, have completely failed all of them with how they handled the revelation. Worse, OPs extended family seems to resent her existence solely due to being born while her mother was 16. Factor in the obvious paranoia her mother has over the possibility of OP becoming a teen parent herself and... poor OP.

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

The OP in the story reminds me a lot of Tariya from Kitchen Nightmares S5E13. There is a scene in particular, where Tariya walks into the kitchen, once again sobbing, and her parents ask her what's wrong... her reply? "Sniffle sniffle, He doesn't like cinnamon." before breaking down into a full sob, again. Somehow, by the end of the story, I expected OP to say "He doesn't like cinnamon" as well. OP has one hell of a case of Stockholm's though. She's obviously got a lot of issues that need a good amount of therapy, her mom is so controlling that she won't allow her to get the therapy she needs unless the therapist is willing to divulge all personal details to her, etc. And yet, here's OP chanting "She doesn't suck. She does her best. She protects me. She loves me. She doesn't suck. She does her....". As adults, her parents have done everything they can to ensure she will have a lifetime of issues to deal with, but hey! Look at the bright side! They can still deny her the help she needs! sooo, yay? If OP had leukemia and her mother said she doesn't believe in doctors unless they only give unproven woo-woo "treatments", and she let the cancer ravage OP, would OP still be defending her mother? Mental health care IS health care.

[@CanyonALynn]

Dear GAWD the adults SUCK!! OP is too young to understand and is understandably defensive. But Jesus F-ing Christ the adults are failing OP hard. First, the mom cheated with her best friend's husband. Then, just the way she dropped the bomb on OP and didn't think that is too much for a teenager to handle. No real communication between the mother, father and step-mother. Not getting OP proper therapy that she clearly needs (that counselor sucks for obvious reasons. Expecting the OPs younger siblings to just accept the new info and go on carrying like nothings different, then set up all the children for failure expecting them to apologize out of the blue without warning causing the OP more trauma... ... like WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK?! It's rare that I get this heated...

[@Cottontailart]

I’ve been through it, my younger siblings assumed i was going to split the family and take their dad away from them, i explained i had no interest in doing that and it took a couple of years but they are okay with me now.

[@Rjeda30]

Every single adult in this situation completely dropped the ball and that’s putting it mildly. And then to compound the original mistake from years ago they’re letting all the children in the situation handle it basically by themselves and pretty much doing what they’ve been doing for 16 years and that’s either pretending it didn’t happen or sweeping it under the rug. Those kids are understandably confused and upset and their mom and dad are continuing to just be either willfully deluded or they just don’t get it. The latter is even scarier.

[@WolfyFancyLads]

"Aromantic, whatever that means." She's saying she's incapable of feeling romantic feelings for others. _This does not mean she doesn't have a sex drive, just that she's incapable of making romantic bonds._

[@RamonChickon]

The dad is an absolute idiot for not seeing obvious consequences for his actions. He kept important information that his wife knew about the affair from OP’s mom, he sprung the news on his kids, he didn’t follow up with his kids and find out how they felt, and then he lied about them wanting to apologize only for it to blow up in their faces. Plus, no therapy for anybody. But the other two went along with all this. Not to mention OP’s mom not letting OP see a therapist for this life-changing revelation that everything she thought she knew about her “Uncle” was a lie. And she didn’t bother to ask Dad if his wife knew about the affair before or after she revealed this news. The siblings just have typical misplaced anger. They need therapy and space. Hopefully they’ll get over it. OP has done nothing wrong. She’s a real trooper.

[@kanelovec4315]

Story 1. This is horrible. Op has the right to feel. Her mom is a monster. Telling her this now and expecting her to hide the information then also forcing her to grow up and cut contact with friends. Is mom paranoid that op will turn out like her.

[@Casey5693]

That bugs me. She's trying to isolate her from her friends and control her. That is toxic.

[@NyxToStyx]

To me it seems more like she wants OP to have an education that allows her to get out of the shithole they live in. The whole small town mentality etc. It might not be the best approach, but given the situation I totally understand it. It seems like she didn’t get proper sex education and got pregnant at 15(!) and apparently got disowned over it. OP’s mom is trying her best with the limited resources she has to make sure her daughter has a different kind of life. It’s not just paranoia and in rural areas it’s possible they never even had access to the deeply needed therapy.

[@DerekScottBland]

It's sad how OP doesn't realize just how freaking terrible her mother is.

[@documentmedic9385]

I were OP, I would wait until I was 18 and then start therapy with someone other than my school counselor. The adults in this story are insane.

[@HopeBanta]

Hearing OP say her mom is a good mom because she could have aborted or given her away and she didn’t… Really goes to show how low the bar is for her. Keeping a baby doesn’t make you a good person.

[@addicted2mako]

What in the hell were the adults thinking in telling Olivia’s kids that OP was their half-sibling, and in that way?!?! Did they really just assume they were going to be cool with it and not treat OP like she was responsible for their dad cheating? Both David and OP’s mom really have no idea how kids-no, people work if they think you can just give them earth-shattering information and not have them feel emotionally scarred! The adults all suck if they think they can just shatter their kids and not have to help them pick up the pieces

[@adelaideemiliem2772]

I have never seen a story where every adult, even one’s who aren’t involved (OP’s grandparents/uncles), have failed a child so badly.

[@umustbkrayze]

This one got e all teary eyed. I just want to hug her and be her family.

[@TheFlowerchild712]

This poor baby. I can't imagine how she's gonna feel when she realizes that the adults in her life failed her so badly. Her entire maternal side are huge AH for hating her just because she was born. Mom is evil for so many reasons especially not letting this poor girl get therapy. Is she trying to make OP codependent? Dad sucks for obvious reasons. The kids all need therapy.

[@shinobusfan7306]

Honestly I feel bad for all the kids and the OP in this situation. What an excuse for adults 🙄

[@robertbishop5158]

Marc this is a GREAT post, this teenager Is going to be successful in what ever she wants to do in life

[@saharadsouza]

Omw to a doctors appointment and nothing lowers my anxiety like mark’s narration

[@Perishingflesh]

I can’t believe the dad said she should be more considerate of their feelings.. it’s not her job to explain the situation to her half siblings THAT IS THE DADS JOB.

[@stephaniewilson3955]

I really hope that OP gets help while she is away from this bunch of toxic adults and realises just how messed up they are. Their behaviour is appalling and she deserves much better.

[@carolsh1983]

This all just broke my heart.

[@CarinaCoffee]

Sheesh, there's so much to unpack here. From OP's family hating them because mum got pregnant as a teen and kept them, to mum not letting OP have therapy to how all these adults behave towards the kids. They all just dump info on them and expect them to be ok with it. All of them need therapy to work through those feelings! Really hope the half siblings grow out of their resentment later on and there could be a relationship there, but it will have taken a big it even in that case. Also I really OP will one day learn that doing the bare minimum and loving you and pushing you and having you against the family's want doesn't make her mum a good mum. She refuses her child mental health help, that's not ok.

[@impagain]

The last update, wtf. Trapping OP and tmforcing the kids to apologize. That just put nothing butbbad blood into the relationship. Lying and saying they WANTED to apologize. How was that NOT supposed to backfire?? It sucks that OP is the only adult in this situation

[@Whytheads]

Hey Mark, hope you're day is going beauotifully! Love your content, keep up the great work!

[@MarkNarrations]

Thanks so much Ethan, I'm good. How about your wonderful self?

[@hauldencottenfield869]

There was a huge update on their account that was documented before they deleted it. So OP got into another fight with the oldest and he just snapped attacking OP’s mom resulting in a hospital visit. This led to him getting arrested and the fallout resulted in Olivia basically refusing to allow OP back into their lives after finally putting her children first. OP’s dad was also forced to do a paternity test because he was trying to fight for rights to her and it turns out OP’s dad is someone else and her mom had been lying about it her entire life. OP’s “dad” is getting divorced, his kids hate him, he doesn’t want to see OP, and OP deleted everything after a near suicide post. It’s a horrible situation :(

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

Any idea on how to find the documented final post? Like was it on Reddit somewhere or another platform. It’s not on BORU.

[@maryjanedodo]

JFC - that mother is horrible! She ruined 5 people's lives.

[@American_Liberty]

My heart just goes out to OP and her siblings. The adults dropped the ball, big time. I hope OP is thriving.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

Change the comments here to Newest and read the post above yours. Not so good.

[@mikelee990]

3 adults have miserably failed 3 children.

[@rmhartman]

Good lord. "The kids wanted to apologize" ... And she didn't tell the kids this?? I thought she and David had a talk with the kids, but no. It's one of those "we will make them apologize" situations, and not even announced to them in advance, but sprung on them when they get home.

[@loe_chil]

Story 1: that mother is awful! How dare you put that much pressure to graduate early. How dare she drop a life destroying bomb, get pissed it worked at destabilising a child! I would be absolutely furious at my mother if she pulled such cold unfeeling heartless and down right sinister behaviour. The mom gets the bin. Op is so twisted and so used to her abusive mother. Op really really really needs therapy.

[@FeketeDemon1000]

I feel like OP is living in a dreamland. Thinks their mom is awesome, yet it's the opposite etc. I think their mind is so clouded they will never be able to think straight enough, and when they do it's going to be one of those "AMITA for hurting my mom's feelings by saying no" or something similar.

[@ingloriousbetch4302]

I wonder just how controlling her mom is. I have a borderline and histrionic mother, and I was extremely abused. I wasn't even allowed to cry if my feelings were hurt. I wasn't allowed to think for myself. I have scars from the beatings still, and I'm 44. The mental and emotional abuse was so much worse, though. If you had asked me about my mother when I was under 23, I would've told you she was the best mother ever and how great she was. Sometimes, you don't know how bad it is while you know nothing else. It was while I was rambling off to a shrink about how my childhood was rather matter of fact-ly and looked up to see her jaw slack that I noticed something wasn't right. She seems very isolated like I was. I was cut off from all family from nearly day one. You cling to what you have/know.

[@keplersdream901]

@@ingloriousbetch4302 Yeah, but I'll bet money that OP is also borderline. Like mother, like daughter, unfortunately.

[@FeketeDemon1000]

@@ingloriousbetch4302 For me it feels like Mom tries to manipulate OP with all the crying. Every time in this story I have seen when OP is crying Mom is right there to hug them in their sleep. I'm not saying that being there when one's child is down is bad, but what it feels like is Mom never let OP battle their feelings alone, like how a teenager would. Because when they did Mom was there to comment on it and shut it down, or hug them while they cried. Also, I am so glad you are better. I can't imagine living in a situation like that. (Sorry, I am terrible with inspirational stuff xd)

[@mysticaccy]

What a sad and disgusting case... They should just merge the whole house together since it seems like her aunt 'forgived' him...

[@lightschen1644]

I couldn't possibly imagine wanting a father who cheated on his wife to impregnate another woman, to then lie through omission for over a decade to his daughter. And OP's mother is no less awful for not only lying to her daughter, but the cheating and pressuring that man's wife to help raise an illegitimate child as well. I hope OP grows up and leaves them all behind.

[@CooperGal24]

OP’s mind is messed up because of her Mom’s lies and poly-whatever affairs. OP didn’t ask to be born, and yet she’s being controlled by her Mom, hated by her cousins and her Mom’s family, and her school counselor’s probably sharing confidential info to said Mom… I’d just move out and cut all contact with the family for the time being. OP needs to see a ACTUAL therapist that doesn’t know her family, so she can have help, not be controlled and treated like she’s at fault here.

[@AlejandroMeri]

Every single adult in this story is trash: Mom: Betrayed her BFF and string her along for who knows how many years until she already had an attachment to the affair child, effectively traping her. And then springs this crap on her soon-to-be-graduating 16yo daughter. Terrible friend AND mother. Uncle: Basically the same as the mom before but worse because he didn't even take to raise the kid as his own and left her with a hole in her heart. Aunt: She is a victim as well and for that I sympathize but bringing OP saying her cousins were sorry and wanted to apologize when in fact she just intended to force them to say a fake "sorry" is terribly immature and cause more harm than good. The counselor: WTF, so OP doesn't even have a safe space at school to discuss her feelings because the counselor is her mom's friend and mom doesn't believe in therapy. The rest of her mother's family: They "can't even look at her" for some reason, not much from them here but they sound awful too. No wonder OP defends her mother in the comments, she doesn't have a single decent adult in her life...

[@TheFoodGuideOfL]

At 6:26 you're absolutely correct. Generally even school counselors are required to provide some degree of confidentiality, although it can be a little less stringent. As with a therapist, they MUST report if you're an active danger to yourself or others, or are being abused, but they shouldn't be sharing unnecessary info with parents just because they're old friends. Unfortunately, there are a few crappy people working in that profession that don't respect patient confidentiality when it's related to someone they know. I'd make a stink about it to the school/media because that sort of behavior is a big no, and that way the counselor would actually face some repercussions

[@charliefarrell3159]

The siblings are doing going through but emotions. They’re reckoning with their idea of their father. Their dad realized their father had a secret child. That’s big

[@nicoleposada7916]

Op perspective about his mum is normal, she had just her mom, till her mom decide to confess about his real dad, even when the mom was pressured her to graduate early. Yeah the mom is wrong for denied her therapy, extended family probably Knew about op's dad, and probably cause a rift between aunt Olivia fam and op's extended family it can be a reason for the rejection, her mom is specifically the a-hole put on her a lot of pressure because she didn't want op follow her path.

[@NightEyeStudio1995]

The more OP says that her mom is the best the more it feels like it's herself that she's trying to convince

[@musicallydisneyamvs6731]

OP telling her siblings to get over it & brushing her mother’s behavior is a perfect example of reflecting how she’s been treated/raised. Those “adults” are horrible people! Poor OP brainwashed to take this bullshit. OP is a doormat to her family’s BS.

[@DestinationsChronicles]

From what I saw, OP WOULDN'T talk to the counselor and that is why the counselor called them mom. So the counselor wasn't revealing anything.

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

OP's mom is a controlling monster. OP is 16 and still doesn't understand how much her mom has traumatized her and done wrong by her. One day all will come crashing down.

[@sidoniejordan-olsen7673]

All them poor kids needed major counseling.

[@VesnaVK]

The adults did a disgraceful job of revealing the truth to the younger kids. They should have prepared them privately. Not taken them to a dinner at OP's and her mom's house where they all started congratulating each other on how they were all going to be a big family now, leaving those kids to say, wait, what even is going on? They just about guaranteed a bad outcome that way. What is with these people?

[@KimPantoja]

That poor girl, mom needed to be more attentive to her. Was she just trying to clear her conscious? So sad. My bf went through the same thing, when he was 30 his mom finally told him his "dad" wasn't his dad and who his real dad was. He doesn't know his real dad at the time he was in active addiction so he didn't want anything to do with anyone. I did find out he has half siblings but he just doesn't know if he wants to meet him. It's sad she waited so long. I hope OP and her dad have a good relationship.

[@LorienInksong]

OP's mum doesn't deserve such a wonderful child. Even setting the mishandling of the truth bomb I'm REALLY upset to hear that OP is basically grounded all the time now. That's wildly unfair and cruel, and OP has done nothing to deserve it. I hope her mum pulls her head out of her butt and goes back to treating her daughter well, because at some point OP will recognize what's been done to her and not only will it break her heart but I can't imagine she'd be able to have a good relationship with her mother anymore. Its also illegal what the school counselor has done, and OP should be given therapy dammit.

[@christylaguna8692]

This was infuriating to listen to. Every person in this child's life failed her on so many levels. Lying to her, her entire life. Depriving her of a father. Bombarding their entire lives and just shrugging it off basically. I'm left so frustrated for this poor girl it's so abundantly clear why she is emotionally stunted she's basically raised gaslit and doesn't even know how morbidly wrong the entire situation is. This is speaking from someone who introduced her child's father at nine. I understand bringing stability for your child this is like the opposite.

[@amarysnigth7971]

The poor girl is so brainwashed, her Mom is a guru.

[@KE-hr4sb]

Augh this one made me so mad! (Disclaimer warning, not done with it.) OP's mom is not "the greatest mom ever;" she's controlling and projecting her past mistakes onto OP. I'm also not sure I believe that OP's mom is aromantic, or that "Aunt Olivia" knows OP is her husband and best friend's secret love child: Staying with your cheating husband is one thing, but keeping in contact with the best friend that betrayed you? And being an aunt to her love child with your husband? Either she's a complete doormat that is afraid her husband will leave for OP's mom if she rocks the boat, or, she doesn't know. Then dumping all this life-changing information onto your child while pressuring them to graduate early, and not allowing them to talk about it or ask questions? And don't get me started on the school counselor telling mom because they were friends; poor OP has no one she can turn to. The adults fucked this one up big time in every way possible. YTA, OP. You went from being shocked that your whole life had changed, to unsympathetic that your half-siblings' lives had all been turned upside down as well (and they're younger than you!); jealous that they have "your" dad "when he was yours first," to uncaring that they were now jealous they had to share their dad. Basically, they feel the exact same way you felt, but so long as you get what you want, you don't care how they feel. You are selfish and lacking in empathy. OK, revised to ESH. The adults fucked up, OP was uncaring about how her siblings felt, but the siblings are taking something out on her that is not her fault and being pretty mean too. What a rollercoaster!

[@NyxToStyx]

She was 15 when she got pregnant. We don’t know what teenage drama happened there, maybe they were a on a break, maybe there was encouragement bc he is a romantic etc. She made the decision to marry that guy years afterwards. I honestly don’t think it’s fair to judge someone who had a child as a young teen and got shunned for it by her entire family for being a bit paranoid. I read the original post and they seem to come from a very rural place with a toxic mindset. Yes, OP’s mom is far from perfect but she tries to give her daughter the opportunity to escape that place and have a better life. Her good intentions are obvious, there is no malice. It’s possible she never had the chance to have therapy, she grew up in a messed up situation and definitely has her fair share of trauma. She’s trying her best with the hand she’s been dealt as a child

[@KE-hr4sb]

@@NyxToStyx Let's break it down, shall we? 1) Got pregnant as a teen (I know, shit happens and they don't always understand how to correctly use birth control/think it would happen to them). 2) Slept with her *best friend's boyfriend.* Even if it wasn't cheating and they were "on a break" (which isn't what the mom said, btw), I still wouldn't touch my best friend's bf with a ten-foot pole. 3) Kept a baby she wasn't entirely equipped to take care of, mentally, emotionally, or monetarily. 4) Kept her teenage daughter confined to their house, didn't let her date (hypocrite as well as projecting), made her take sex ed even though again she's not allowed to date, and pressured her to finish school early. There's teaching your child to learn from your mistakes and not repeat them, and then there's forcibly controlling her (which often backfires) rather than teaching them a valuable lesson. OP went with plan b...unsurprising with her track record. 5) Didn't tell her daughter who the father was, until she was already under immense pressure to graduate early. Told her in the most nonchalant way possible and was shocked Pikachu when it turned OP's life upside down. 6) *Didn't tell her best friend that her child was best friend's husband's child.* This one really gets me. What a sleezy coward OP's mom is. Not only did she sleep with her best friend's bf, she never apologized, never told her, never faced any sort of consequence for her actions other than a surprise baby. To respond to your comment "It's possible she never had the chance to have therapy," actually, OP says her mom refuses therapy, and furthermore, only allows OP to talk to the school counselor (yes, the very one that ratted OP out) because they are friends. Nope, I stand by my judgment. OP's mom sucks. She made some mistakes as a child, yes, but she's continuing to make very bad choices as an adult, who should by now know better.

[@NyxToStyx]

@@KE-hr4sb who should have thought her to do better? She refuses therapy, yeah I missed that. But honestly how should she miraculously transform into a better person without having dealt with her issues. Her good intentions are clear, her ways still stuck, but she’s not horrible. That woman must have a lot of trauma and now that OP is at that age it seems to eat her alive. Would it be better if she went to therapy? Absolutely, but small town mindset is something not everyone understands unless you come from one as well. There are so many horrible, malicious, abusive parents in this world. But OP’s mom isn’t one of them. She’s a misguided fool, not a monster

[@KE-hr4sb]

@@NyxToStyx No one has to teach her. That's part of growing up, you don't still think like a 14-year-old. And for the record, I came from an abusive household, and I also got kicked out, so yes, I understand that environment all too well. I didn't say she was a monster. She didn't beat her children like my mother did. But I stand by her being a terrible parent and an even worse "friend."

[@NyxToStyx]

@@KE-hr4sb You’d be surprised, but most parents have their shortcomings rooted by their upbringing. I had a relative good upbringing, but I still can see things that impacted my parents childhood. That doesn’t mean they are terrible, it means they are human. Alone that you blame her for having a child at that age, your point 3, at times where it’s all over Reddit that some people simply don’t get to make that choice. Except for not getting therapy (which she might do, seeing how much it impacts her daughter now) she’s doing everything she can to make sure her daughter has a better life. There is no malice, just trauma

[@StandYourGroundHomestead]

There seems to be very little communication that goes on in that family, no wonder it's hard for OP to bring up anything without breaking down.

[@rmhartman]

"they've never known what it's like to not have a dad" ... And you don't know what it's like to have someone steal your dad. It's not a good situation for anyone.