I quit Amazon after two months

[@NeetCode]

Not trying to bash Amazon or scare people who wanna work there. Just sharing one person's experience. It's easy to talk about success, but I think you can learn more from failure.

[@yuri.caetano]

Tks bro

[@mahee96]

needed this man, Thanks for sharing. when something or someone which/who is supposed to be with you disappears then you get that sudden emptiness and all of a sudden we lose the connection to reality and get consumed by the void. Based on your saying and general practice, the best medicine at these times is "diversion" from what leads us into thinking about the past and scenarios which we build into our minds.

[@dracomalfoy6207]

Thanks for sharing your personal experience

[@BladeAurora]

can you have a chat with the life engineered steve? he is a principal engineer at amazon

[@Albertux]

One of the worst companies I worked as well, but people have different experiences, good luck

[@learningalgos614]

"Team is burnt out so don't ask questions" - certified Amazon classic

[@dmitry123456789012]

this is literally "RUN!!!" phrased differently

[@yared09]

Yes the worst place to work!

[@chrisy.703]

it makes no senses.... how to adapt into the role when just joining it if NO chances to ask a lot questions?

[@dmitry123456789012]

@@chrisy.703 it could also mean you're "hire to fire", i.e. a person who was hired to fulfill the URA (unregretted attrition) quota

[@ST-rj8iu]

Sound like a new manager. LOL. Not good.

[@Afzal3000]

At this point bro is just proving his problem solving skills

[@ANTH03N3ZZY]

😂

[@jroseme]

Priceless

[@JoelSilva-gk4hq]

HAHA.. bro can solve leetcode so well we used it to solve his mental breakdown 😂 But jokes aside.. this is super inspirational and is one more evidence I trust from a somewhat trusted source that you can always get better if you work hard and stay consistent. (Trusted because I can see the evidence from his work in public)

[@nghiavo6263]

@@JoelSilva-gk4hqyou right man

[@armaan.nagpuri]

Thats not funny situation bro, better not make a joke....

[@100uo]

As someone who worked at Amazon for 8 years, I can confirm that the culture is very toxic. My mental health has improved 10x since I left. Amazing story, thank you.

[@skyhappy]

A technical project manager there said a guy who is an asshole didn't get fired even after 6 months. The guy I know also worked at Microsoft and said that asshole would not last for 3 months at Microsoft.

[@marin1419]

where did you move to if you don't me asking?

[@MultiMojo]

@@skyhappy Being an asshole is how you survive at Amazon. Or by wasting inordinate amounts of time on something trivial and going through weeks of useless doc reviews. There's a reason Amazon doesn't make any profits with half a trillion in revenue.

[@stoinks224]

same is for relaince as well only differnce amazon gives good money rjil doesnt

[@sharathkumar8338]

well they pay like a lot though.

[@LeW1nnn]

Can confirm some of this (not all). I was at Amazon for 6 months, I left to somewhere else that pays 15% less, but I am now 100% happier.

[@whoisthispianist01]

Why did you leave? Why are you happier?

[@RBNrocks]

At the end Happiness matters.

[@0x4rk0]

Same here

[@liyafasil8608]

what company did you relocate to may I ask?

[@slimjimjimslim5923]

@@whoisthispianist01 there's actually a correlation between salary and work-life balance. Small and even mid-size company pay less but also work is less intense. In retrospect this makes sense, get more money because it's more stressful job and harder job.

[@c_jo]

Hahaha. I quit Amazon after working there for 5 months. Everybody was so burned out, so depressed, and I was on my way there too. Leaving Amazon was one of the best decisions I’ve made for my career and mental health.

[@ShouterOfSanity]

Thanks for the warning. I'm struggling with burnout myself and was wondering if I should give Amazon a shot for my second job. Sounds like my answer is "no" now!

[@mrpranjul7727]

I agree with you.... amazon now a days, not a good place to work

[@slimjimjimslim5923]

@@mrpranjul7727 ah you guys don't know the beginning of amazon. Back in early 2000 Amazon rep was "long hours, low pay, low moral and high turnover". And when Amazon starting profiting a ton by crushing the server and e-commerce market, the pay was increased a lot but work culture didn't change, it was still cut throat insane demand of work over life.

[@asifchoudhuryca]

I have never seen someone, someone of your repute, to be so candid about one's dark hours. I think it takes a lot of courage to put it out in public. When I see your videos, I can feel a general sense of honesty in the way you explain stuff. I was not wrong sensing that. You are an honest person, an individual with integrity. The video is also a great, real-life, comeback story. Thanks a bunch for sharing it with us. Respect.

[@sdaniaal]

Yeah honestly its very brave to talk about personal circumstances like that, not even sugar coating anything. It makes me empathetic to how vunerable you were.

[@stopmotiontacos]

ThePrimeagen made a similar video, "From Meth to Netflix". Both videos are very brave and I appreciate both people.

[@gabrielgarcia7554]

I didn’t see the video yet and I thought this was a joke about accepting an offer from Amazon; after seeing it I completely agree. I honestly had no idea he went through something like this and I really appreciate his candidness about his struggles.

[@justin11726]

💯

[@pbassassinz8097]

One's dark hours this guy is the furthest thing from suffering. Most people grow up in rougher circumstances then work bullshit jobs till they die broke this guy will be better off than 99 percent of people.

[@KevinNaughtonJr]

glad you're doing better dude and that you left and environment that wasn't healthy. life's too short to deal w stuff like that

[@NeetCode]

thanks Kevin, I really appreciate it

[@ericbwertz]

So, how much of this was really about you and/or just the timing of it all? Would this have likely happened at any other moderately-to-more-intensity tech job? On an somewhat related note, did you ever try microdosing? Since you already had access to acid/mushrooms, it seems like that might have been a worthwhile experiment (unfortunately only from what I've heard). @@NeetCode

[@jtw-r]

Going through somewhat of a similar situation on a smaller scale. I keep reminding myself life is too short to be this stressed/anxious/miserable. it’s my guiding beacon

[@trungpham7588]

Two of you should hang out more and more often… @Neetcode and @Kevin.

[@rahulk398]

Didn't expect to see Kevin out of X

[@abdulmuqtadir8898]

I should've quit man, they dragged me to the deepest layers of hell. It's been almost 1 year working at a new place and my colleagues look like angels sent from heaven and I'm finally getting back from the trauma the 6 months at that company gave me. My man you have no idea how much courage you have given to people in the same boat by speaking about this so openly with your face, you've no idea.

[@NeetCode]

I'm genuinely glad things got better for you! Thank you for sharing.

[@darshandev1754]

you mean AMZN?

[@devenderbhatt421]

​@@darshandev1754nope its boat 😂😂😂😂😂

[@manulscode]

What was so particularly stressful about the job? Was it the people or the working schedule or both?

[@darshandev1754]

@@devenderbhatt421 😂 I mean I could infer it was amzn but it's in fang so wondering what was do bad

[@_HMCB_]

Thanks. I’m a seasoned designer. Almost 30 years, with web development sprinkled in there. The last few years (but especially the last 6 months) I’ve been struggling with anxiety and self doubt. I’ve done so many amazing things in my career but it’s like a switch went off and just doing anything besides checking email, updating apps, and other minor things feels like climbing Mount Everest. On the outside you wouldn’t know it, but it’s been a slow death on the inside. Your suggestion of biting off little tasks/challenges no matter how small is really what I need. It’s so easy to dismiss but undoubtedly so true. Thanks for being utterly honest about what you went through. I don’t even know how I found your channel and watched this video for tech reasons but I’m walking away with something much more valuable. Stay blessed and aware of those blessings. ❤

[@puyakhalili]

I know that feeling very well as well. designer here also going through a similar path, and the consistent small steps also resonates with me a lot.. it could be just designing or creating something on a daily basis.. One foot in front of another..

[@notyouraveragejohn69]

then quit. 30 years and you aren't retired? that's the issue. go sit on the beach naked and smoke a blunt. life is good, you're just stuck doing the same thing everyday.

[@slimjimjimslim5923]

I been a hardware engineer for 7 years. Work was mostly ok until last month I got sick and had minor surgery, probably due to stress and the 14 hr work days none stop issues every night and morning. Took PTO to fix my burn out and I also did some soul searching. Do I really want to stay in this area or change to something a little different because frankly I'm sick of big tech. Pay is fine but the work life balance is gone to shit. I would take a 20% pay cut just to not feel the intense fear and self doubt and anxiety

[@taimurahmad]

Onem"essagefo:unda:tion

[@FamilyYoutubeTV-x6d]

I love you. I want to hug you. I hope you are doing well.

[@Sam-cy2mv]

Closing in at 4 years at Amazon. I've just accepted that everything is always going to be a tire fire here and I don't let it bother me.

[@GoldAMG]

The sooner you get comfortable with tire fires in close proximity the sooner you will be ready to last four years. Well spoken friend.

[@kingdrift1136]

Which department are you in? Kindle, Alexa, Prime?

[@RkForeverSlayer]

I've been unemployed for 8 months following a layoff from Amazon. I needed to see this today, thank you.

[@solanaprot8400]

u gonna make it

[@chihchang1139]

sending virtual hugs and good vibes

[@IPoopNaked]

You've got this sh*t, and don't you dare start comparing yourself to anyone else.

[@jfndfiunskj5299]

Good luck bro.

[@ST-rj8iu]

take any job you can just to keep your spirits up. Don't wait for the perfect job! 45k a year is better than 0k a year. That is my advice as an older person. Take the job and keep looking for another one. you don't owe people anything.

[@throwaway999able]

I quit my "high paying" tech job after 13 months after also working my entire life to get such a job. Very similar experience with brain falling apart. Now im neetcoding.

[@daLife0Bez552]

was/is it difficult finding clients and learning a new niche?@plumbing1

[@Def_Not_Batman]

What happened to there to y'all specifically, that made you want to leave after working hard to reach it, if you don't mind someone asking? I'm working towards something similar right now, so I'm curious.

[@bboyVice007]

@@Def_Not_Batmantech isn’t as glamorous as those TikTok reels make it seem. It’s actually super draining. Yes you can make decent money, but a lot of tech companies will make sure they’re squeezing every ounce out of you to make that money.

[@gracenote108]

@@Def_Not_Batman I'm still in tech and fortunately in a pretty good spot. Tech work is extremely demanding, but most of the demand comes from shitty bureaucracy and sociopathic executives who know shit about technology. They don't understand the nature of tech and push and demand tech workers beyond human reasoning. Just know this, don't do tech work to become rich. Do it because you love it and go work for a decent sized company that pays less, but very comfortable wages.

[@sapientum08]

@@Def_Not_Batman it's hard to describe, it kind of creeps up on you. It normally doesn't start immediately, but after some time. But don't worry, you'll know when you get there.

[@swarnadeepsaha7686]

I almost cried watching this video. I am going through a dark period myself, and watching the person from who I learnt most of what I know of coding, going through a much worse period than I ever did, made me believe in myself so much more. I cannot thank you enough for sharing this.

[@kaankoc9610]

i did cry actually.

[@swagmuffin9000]

Hey, it gets better. It requires effort but, if you put it in, it will turn around. You got this, I don't know you but i wish you the best in your hard times. Rooting for you

[@ishaaandatta908]

kudos to you for saying this@@swagmuffin9000

[@ishaaandatta908]

++@@swagmuffin9000

[@scripteaze]

Guys who are crying is what's wrong with the world today..guys from the 80's and 90's didn't sit there and bite their pillows at night crying like babies..lol Grow up, damn pussies

[@KeithAdam]

Very fascinating story. Did not expect the level of authenticity

[@luizzucchi2964]

Last year I had a very similar experience at AWS (used your videos to prepare by the way), worked there for two months and left. At first I thought that it was my fault that I didn't adapt, that I just wasn't a good enough engineer, now I think that leaving was one of the best decision I've made. Congrats for the videos man!

[@eyesoffloraandfauna8728]

Can u explain ind detail I am cybersecurity student and want to have experience in Aws

[@hkiajtaqks5253]

Salary has an upper limit, but mental health is priceless.

[@slimjimjimslim5923]

@@eyesoffloraandfauna8728 I mean at least it'll look good on resume to have 1-2 yr exp lol. But just prepare of the craziness.

[@typecoder1]

Bro, that's a huge story. Actually, I identified a lot with this. I was an alcohol addict for basically 2 years and had trouble forming a sentence. But I suddenly got into the gym, started working on myself, stopped drinking alcohol, and began to study math. Things fell into place rather quickly, and within a year, I was completely cured of the addiction. Now, I'm 'addicted' to the gym and am getting into really good physical condition. It's amazing how things can change with willpower, and now my journey is to make more money and get good at coding. You are amazing. Stay strong; I'm a huge fan!!!

[@adamhu714]

Wow that story was WILD compared to what I was expecting. What a journey

[@spiffylogic]

1. Be consistent 2. Never stay down 3. Enjoy what you do (maybe even obsess over it) 4. Be honest with yourself (and a little self-critical) ...would you want to bet against someone like that? Great wisdom I needed today. Thanks for sharing your story 👏

[@Ihavetoreturnsomevideotapes]

and do drugs

[@userre85]

5. Tip your landlord.

[@androiduberalles]

I feel like most people have problems with being /too/ self critical. Just remember to be kind to yourself and don't be afraid to fail. So much easier said than done though.

[@bloggrammer]

@@androiduberallesnice

[@theotherredmeat]

And go to therapy for god's sake

[@souryadeepmukherjee7702]

Of all your videos this will probably bring the most value to the community. I've followed your videos for a while and to think that the calm voice explaining the solutions to those problems back then was going through so much just reaffirms the fact that we're all just human, we all suffer and have our own fights that we wage day in day out. Thanks for showing such strength and sharing this, your community is proud of you and I'm sure this video will help a lot of us realise we're not alone and feeling lost or down is OKAY.

[@mojoxide]

BRO - this video is so inspiring to me, THANK YOU for being so candid about your mental health struggles. Can’t tell you how much it means to hear someone go through a similar struggle.

[@IAMDOKTOR]

Fuck, dude. This is exactly the same story I am having right now, like for real. After I graduated from cs university in Russia, I managed to raise some money from software engineering, then get a postgraduate degree in artificial intelligence in Canada and then got a job at a local company. But then my whole life has collapsed in like two weeks: I lost a family member, almost all my money and my girlfriend left me, which actually felt the worst. After that, I got fired from my job for not meeting expectations and I only have like 2 more months to fix things or I will be dropped out to the street for not being able to pay rent. I started doing leetcode "just because" with following your instructions from your videos and it made such a change to me solving just 1-2 problems a day that now I feel like I can actually make some change. I cannot thank you enough for sharing that story because now I feel like I'm not alone in all this. Thank you so so much! I wish things will never be bad for you again. Good Luck!

[@Ashwin_1198]

now you have a job?

[@akshaya626]

Wishing you thte best! You can do it

[@OpenAITutor]

@@akshaya626 Wishing you wellness

[@susquon]

I'm sorry man, this is rough. Keep persevering my friend you can get through this!

[@hehexd4557]

Удачи друг

[@aminzarei1557]

Dude, not gonna lie my first impression of you was someone who's coming from a wealthy family with no problem and that's why you had clean mind when you were solving problems😅. This was so inspiring for me, hopefully everyone could also pass the hard times . Wish you to always stay at your best 💪😊

[@MidasG-je6vo]

Same, I'm not proud of it but I definitely stereotyped him based on his skill level and Google job. I'm genuinely surprised we have such a similar story.

[@fabio.1]

👍

[@WacoBeautyQueen]

I thought the same as well. It’s inspiring and resssuring. I’m in a similar predicament but I’m trying my hardest not to use any drugs (but I do drink from time to time). If Nabi can succeed so can we.

[@WoWUndad]

So a leetcoder studied so hard you connect that in your head to victimizing yourself claiming his family comes from wealth? Dumbest shir I've ever heard probably why you've never passed a interview

[@Manoj-uj9dz]

Worked 6 years in amazon to a dead end and quit. Though was in operations and not in tech. It is comforting to see a lot of people who went through a rough patch here in the comments. It helps to know that i am not alone. Few of my colleagues who were down made to new better positions now so to all of us who are still reeling - good times are coming - stay strong.

[@gorillaforever]

It’s actually crazy how similar your story is to mine. Glad to hear it! You’re not alone with the drug choices, the feelings of insanity and confusion, and how your discipline to work your brain daily somehow eventually made everything okay again, if not better than before.

[@michaelscofield2652]

Holy shit dude. Hell of a ride you had. Glad you’re doing better now

[@brianevans4975]

I did not expect this to cover an intense acid trip and paranoia episode. So much respect for sharing this. You’re an inspiration in many ways.

[@scripteaze]

lmao, get some balls

[@brianevans4975]

@@scripteaze tf you mean

[@scripteaze]

@@brianevans4975 you’re so emotional calm down go ask your mother for a hug

[@brianevans4975]

@@scripteaze 😆 did you feel clever coming up with that?

[@scripteaze]

@@brianevans4975 I don’t know what you’re talking about but if you think I’m clever, thanks

[@progpogs]

They don't want you to quit, because they would rather process you to meet an attrition quota, which they can't do if you leave voluntarily before entered into that program. I had the same anxiety as you in my first year, I thought I would be fired every week until my first promotion, I ended up there for a while, but everything you said resonates with a lot of people trust me.

[@blueskies3336]

Can you elaborate what was so bad about working there?

[@TheRealBobLazar]

I rode the amazon bus when me and two of my coworkers decided we had enough. So we started hopping a fence and just floating around and swimming in a nearby pool each day for hours on end and would walk into the office for 2-3 hours still in our wet shorts and sandals. I decided to put in my notice at my 1yr anniversary and they said just quit if you don't like it here, see ya! Meanwhile, my coworkers behavior continued until they both got fired and with that Amazon decided to early exercised *all* their RSU's (talking hundreds of thousands of dollars each). When getting fired they didn't want the employees to leave with a "bad taste in their mouth", I couldn't believe it...

[@coherentpanda7115]

Most companies don't want you to quit so early because it is very expensive to hire someone. It's perfectly normal for them to want to retain someone they spent a lot of money putting through interviews, filing hr paperwork and training.

[@progpogs]

@@coherentpanda7115 Amazon has a quota to put up the lowest 12ish% of people into performance management, to manage out 6%ish annually, determined by arbitrary stack rankings behind closed doors. I worked there for almost a decade. They are a massive company with infinite applicants, the logic you are using doesn't apply. They hire people with promises of big RSUs, but most don't vest for years, so if they manage them out, they don't reach that number, and they save money over what they would have spent on them over 4 years which is why it's not the same.

[@progpogs]

​@@blueskies3336 Amazon uses pressure as leverage, they care about the customer first and foremost, and will behead an employee just for fun if it makes the customer chuckle. Regardless of everything its a good place to grind and grow under the right circumstances, but you have to be fortunate to make a lengthy career there, its not just an equation of hard work. Your mileage may vary depending on org to a degree, but the HR/performance management culture persists across the entire company and sets a certain tone. It is not for everyone. I had good and bad years there. 1. Unrealistic deadlines. This isn't unique to amazon, but the extent of it is unique to them and only a handful of others. Project managers would ask for an estimate on something ambiguous that we had never done before, I'd give a best effort, and they would chop it in half and death march to it, not expecting anyone to hit it, but if you didn't work like a dog towards it anyways it would reflect poorly on you. Rinse and repeat for most projects. People rush services out the door, you have to be ok launching with some duct tape and paperclips leftover, and because of this they have some of the highest ops load of any company. As a SWE you will be oncall here too, which I think is actually a good thing, but due to how deadlines are structured it encourages people to make decisions that will make that oncall responsibility life ruining depending on the team you land on. 2. Bad attitudes. Amazon is stressful, and they care about delivery above all else. They have single-threaded ownership models, meaning that projects are given to people who are largely responsible for them. This creates an environment where people are adversaries as they try to work towards their best interest, sometimes to the detriment of others. People who can deliver are encourage to be a bit sociopathic, and because they delivered, they are more likely to get promoted, as the behavioral portion is irrelevant as long as you can point to leadership principals to cover decision-making. As a result, many people in higher level positions who got there via promotions can be sort of toxic, and these people tend to have longer tenure in orgs and dictate the culture of a team. 3. Inconsistent bar. Amazon's teams hire for themselves, and they create their own question banks even, which leads to no shared bar among the company. Most of the time the room has to reach consensus about a candidate, but technically the hiring manager alone has the final say, which is also problem. The service architecture is complex, everything from the build tools and deployment systems, to production software architecture heinously complex in some instances. You will be working with dependencies downstream, and customers upstream, and you will rely on these teams, they will have a bearing on your capability to deliver new features, and they aren't guaranteed to be smart individuals. 4. Performance management/PIP culture. Amazon hires people with an RSU package (stock promise) that vests over 4 years, but its weighted so you don't get 80% of it until you are beyond the 2 year mark. Average tenure at Amazon in 2021 was around 12-14 months though, there's many reasons for that, but a nontrivial portion is their draconian performance management quotas. Amazon has goals for each director to drive what they call "unregretted attrition" campaigns, where they get rid of a certain number of people per year. They need to begin processing 12-15% of people in each role/level in every org over a certain size, they will put those people on performance improvement plans and expect roughly half of them to fight it, and the other half to leave on their own accord due to the stress/demoralization or accept a severance in exchange for never returning to Amazon or any subsidiary ever again. They need to make 6% of people leave, and these bottom percent of people are decided at meetings behind closed doors where they stack rank employees. Managers are in these meetings fighting over who goes in what bucket, and its really up to a manager to fight for someone, it can be quite arbitrary or come down to whos better at debating. The result of this process not only is that they can manage people out before they get to vest substantial stock, but also it creates an environment at work where everyone is trying not to be the slowest gazelle. I didn't experience this myself, but have heard stories of people being in teams that wouldn't help them that much, because they didn't want to give them an advantage, or saw helping new hires as detracting from their ability to deliver. Again this creates adversarial tension among colleagues. Hope this helped, I worked there in various systems/software titles for the better part of a decade. I don't regret it, but I think people should know how brutal it can be.

[@mig-e4213]

you're a real one neetcode. thank you for sharing a story that a lot of people are afraid to admit they can relate to. keep up the good fight and thank you for carrying new grads for the past few years with your amazing leetcode videos.

[@davidjoseph2360]

I don't work for a huge company like Amazon, but I had some similar experiences in my first 6 month. We had a lot of deadline I was thrown to the fire with little to no help. I was putting in 12 hours days for a almost 4 month. I got to a point where I started seeing double all around me. I got to the point where I wanted to grab one of my gun and shoot myself. Once I stop working so hard and went on a 2 week PTO everything come back to normal. Don't burn yourself now I only look at code for 2 hour max before taking 15-30 to relax. I only work 10-5 now. After 5PM I stop giving a F.

[@partidaa98]

Wow. Neetcode is a legend. Insane amount of vulnerability. Your story resonates a lot with me. Lots of anxiety, doubt, and fear. I hope you are clean and are staying healthy these days. We love you!!!

[@FryingPan]

Great backstory Neet, respect for getting through that 🌹

[@xuzack832]

The very first video of yours that I came across was about how you failed a Google interview. Till now it is still fresh in my memory because never had I seen someone sharing not their success, but their failure...here I am again, learning from your experience of failure, weakneass, and self-rebuilding. I am not exaggerating when I say you are such a inspiration. Notes taken.

[@NickDolgy]

This video will tell you more about genes than about Amazon. 0:40

[@IAMTHESWORDtheLAMBHASDIED]

no homie.

[@369Alien]

Uh oh, white insecurity strikes again Gotta love it when the YT “scientists” start talking about genes 😂

[@nezzylearns]

I'm so glad you're feeling better. Dealing with job anxiety is one of the most difficult things I've been dealing with. I've been in the process of looking for roles for 2 years now. The anxiety of my current role is overwhelming but this gave me hope. Thank you for sharing your story

[@arunima29]

I am glad you are in a happy place right now ❤️ I worked for Amazon Alexa for 10 months for a Data Science team as a researcher, I didn't quit but I was impacted by the layoffs. But during my time there, I felt as if I am developing ADHD. It was very hard to concentrate, things were so ambiguous and fickle, but I was still under the pressure of constantly delivering without even knowing what I am delivering for. Being laid-off sucks, but a part of me was relieved that I was no longer in that environment.

[@balance3826]

Bro this is one story that I was not expecting with the title. I can definitely relate to your story - in ways that I'm not even comfortable sharing on the internet with even my gamertag and a carebear profile picture. But I feel what you said and I've been through something similar. I have people in my real life who know my story - and I think you do as well (such as your family) if you are comfortable talking about it publicly. The advice I would give to you and to someone reading this is simple - the best thing you can do for your mental health is tell someone else what you are going through. The feeling of being alone is gargantuan. As soon as you open up, its like a weight off your shoulders. Just some thoughts. Thanks Neetcode.

[@joshuacantie2007]

This means a lot to me man. I literally also took a job right out of college, worked for about 45 days, and then quit because of overwhelming anxiety. I'm doing a second undergraduate degree in computer science now, and I've been watching your videos to practice LeetCode. I sometimes feel down on myself and feel like I'm not smart enough, but knowing that the genius whose content has been helping me had the same challenges? Makes me feel so much less alone and feel like I can achieve great things!

[@Aiworld2025]

Holy sh** this was hands down amazing!!! Thanks for this! I wish nothing but the best for you bro! 😎 everyone that has been down, should watch this.

[@coolminggt7290]

man thanks for sharing your experience, its an eye opening story for me

[@god_p403]

I left Amazon this month after being there for 1.5 years.. 🎉 I wish I could also quit as early as you did.😢

[@noobpur]

i m plannin to quit too. i lost motivation to work.. i feel guity as well as anxious at the same time. i dont know how i survived 1 year.. its frustrating and i get tired doing nothing... only thing i know that i dont wanna stay here..

[@ashutoshpatel5030]

What's the issue with amazon work environment? Is it that much worse..could you elaborate pls?

[@Trizzi2931]

@@noobpurcan you tell for what reason you want to leave? Is it work load or toxic environment

[@noobpur]

@@Trizzi2931 poor planing, high expectations, they expect you to work for 18hrs a day.. manager yells and demotivate you whenever she is mad. it depends upon team.. continues oncalss

[@maruf7956]

@@noobpur Why you want to leave? is it because of work load

[@TechwithLucy]

Thanks for sharing your story, Navi - really appreciate you being so honest and open about this. Great takeaways at the end of the video, about being consistent, never standing down, and enjoying what you do 💪

[@jrapp654]

I work at AWS and also heard horror stories before coming, but I've learned that everyone's experience tends to be based on their org. I've heard the worst from the Alexa org so Im not shocked you've had this experience, but AWS as a whole differs between orgs. Mine is great

[@yli8888]

Thanks for sharing your experience. Wish you all the best in your adventure❤

[@NeetCode]

Thank you so much!

[@khalidm5346]

Your story is inspirational, thank you for opening up! I'm glad you were able to make a comeback like that. Money is important but your mental health is always more important, look after yourself first!

[@paddyd7642]

Hey thanks for sharing. My life has been like yours minus the serious mental issues for the past 8 months. I have already done 800 leetcodes and probably self-taught myself the equivalence of a CS degree in the past two years. Hopefully luck starts to favor me soon.

[@dhess34]

"My life has been like yours minus the serious mental issues", so ... nothing like the video then? The mental issues are the crux of the video.

[@avwie132]

A CS degree is a tad more than 800 leet codes

[@jongxina3595]

Damn man... I wasnt anticipating such a heavy story... I just wanna say thank you for sharing it.

[@albiole]

I can totally relate because I dropped out from Med School and did bunch of psychedelics. I think people that went hard early in their lives, whether it's studying or sports or whatever, need some time to freshen up when these inevitable mental issues arise. I'm now an engineer doing your NeetCode course to hopefully get into one of the big techs.

[@genshian]

Damn... speechless. m sorry you had to go through all that suffering. So grateful for this. You didn't need to share all this with random people on the internet but you did. I will not know why you felt you could, but this was one of the most motiviational videos I've ever seen. I think people who know they can be successful whenever they want need a different kind of motivation. I think this video encapsulated that, which was how consistency is the key to grounding ourselves. Thanks!

[@MyNamesRuss]

1,300 comments later, I want to thank you for making this video. It is personally cathartic, I have a fairly similar experience and it felt confirming to see someone, let alone a respected programming content creator, put into words things I have felt. Also, it’s a nice change of pace to hear “after coping with work induced stress (compounded by familial/survival induced stress), I ate 5 tabs of acid and experienced a long lasting psychotic episode”, instead of the endless stream of “my day as a dev” videos where they wake up from their $15k/month high rise apartment at 6AM to hit the gym before banging out 12 hours of stress free rewarding $300k job, lol

[@siddharthindora7182]

You are brave to share your low points in life with the whole world ! Hope you are doing better now :)

[@Alexander-gf8xm]

I've never struggled with being poor. I've never struggled with mental health issues. I've never dealt with coming from a broken family. I've never struggled with drug abuse. But I see the amount of people joining your neetcode pro discord server; I'm glad that you're doing well.

[@samb23692]

This is one of the most inspirational stories. Thanks for sharing brother.

[@aaronarguetagoogle2296]

That last bit hit hard. "Im never going to bet against myself" sheeesh

[@ChargedOB]

Took me a long time to finally watch this video, but we have similar stories in some areas. Wanted to provide for family, no college grads in the tree, no father, 3 siblings. Two of which look up to me a lot. Have been doing software for about 10 years now and around the same time as you (early pandemic, late 2020) I just snapped under the stress and imposter syndrome of my work. I spent the next two years high as a kite trying to bury the stress and all I achieved was slowing my progress and building up my fear. So I quit that job ASAP, and instead of taking a break, accepted an even worse one. For the tenure of that employment I was vomiting, stressed, overwhelmed, and depressed. I had just relocated, buried a relative, and the job change were all a super storm for finishing me off. I rage quit last August 2023. I've now spent close to a year exercising and recuperating my mental health and reminding myself that my work ethic wasn't the problem, but the environments I landed in. Anyways I have an Amazon interview tomorrow and safe to say I am taking this all in before I accept the next one. Thanks for all you do, A brother in battle.

[@PoojaDutt]

Thanks for sharing your story, it’s always hard to find people talking about the realities of burnout/toxic work environments in Big Tech. Glad you were able to get out of that situation!

[@AnandhuA-m1b]

Hey Pooja i watch your videos. Thanks for inspiring

[@LukeAvedon]

Man, good for you for sharing so much! I have had similar experiences, as an engineer, of super wanting a job and then it being a stress nightmare once you get there. Although never at such a high status company. Good for you. Its difficult for non devs to understand dev stress. Amazing happy ending regarding Google!! Congrats!

[@amsyarmalek6846]

There is no such thing as dev stress. The nature of the software development job, including tight deadlines, pressure to keep up with the latest tech trends, and the need to assist others, can contribute to feelings of stress only, not dev stress. It is important to note that stress is not exclusive to software development. Other IT jobs can also be stressful for similar reasons. There are other professions that are more stressful than software development, such as being a surgeon or a lawyer. Imagine that you’re a surgeon who has successfully performed a surgery, but the patient still dies due to complications.

[@rafes8206]

Huge props for talking about this publicly. I also worked for one of the world's biggest software companies. These companies drain the life of their employees, and make obscene profits. Microsoft made 250 billion in profit, then lays of tens of thousands of workers, likely giving their responsibilities to already stretched thin employees. When will engineers realize that employers exploit them as much as rank and file workers like Auto Manufacturers?? Doesn't matter if you make over 6 figures, the amount of value a quality engineer generates is in the multi-millions.

[@kaankoc9610]

if you really like coding dont do anything else just for money if you don't need it asap. i think one of the most important thing in life is do what you love. It is so cliche and corny but true.@@jamfin6644

[@geometerfpv2804]

Even their revenue isn't 250 billion, much less their profit. I get your point, but they do have a balance sheet, and it's not as easy to balance as it looks.

[@rafes8206]

@@geometerfpv2804 My apologies when I was comparing Microsoft to the Big three I had to use 2020-2023 values so you are correct this is actually for three years. Vs the Big 3 Auto makers making around 40 billion throughout the same time

[@rafes8206]

@@geometerfpv2804 Microsoft annual gross profit for 2023 was $146.052B, a 7.69% increase from 2022.

[@manonamission2000]

@@rafes8206the big 3 are no longer the big 3

[@shadsluiter]

Super relevant story. I shared this with my students who are soon to graduate with a degree in Software Development. Amazon is super attractive to most yet somewhat sketchy due to too many personal stories of anxiety and stress from the culture.

[@ECard821]

Thanks for sharing! I had trouble getting my first job out of college and felt like an idiot after hearing everyone from my school got a job. I didn't stop grinding leetcode and learning what I didn't know in full stack development. Your videos definitely helped me and I'm now at my second job making more money than I ever thought. I also grew up poor and never had a cell phone until college. I've made dumb mistakes in highschool and college (like not getting a SWE internship or hanging out with people in college that were not the best fit for my SWE career aspirations) but focusing on improving myself little by little was the best thing that helped me get to where I'm at.

[@kantamei7707]

Man, honestly, thank you for uploading this. At least for me, seeing parts of myself in people that I would otherwise just put past as gifted or well-off, kinda just chips away the hopelessness I'd otherwise feel.

[@davidde7620]

You are more human than I thought you were before. Many in the community of Neetcode have grown up today, because of you and with you. A lot of love and respect to you!

[@hiiampasha]

It maybe off topic but… You treat your mac like a true senior engineer Thank you for your story

[@WacoBeautyQueen]

This was very honest and inspiring. I’ve been struggling at my job at Citi recently and I’ve been trying to turn a new leaf this 2024. I’m trying to be a better engineer but also I’m trying to be aware of my work environment and acknowledge I’m not at a very healthy or diverse place. Majority of my engineer co-workers are overseas and often I feel so ill-equipped but do the best I can to work with what I got. I’m going to continue to do better, study and communicate well with my team but ultimately I’m going to strive to work in a better company too. I’m tired of feeling lonely, anxious, sad and singled out.

[@thedeflatedone]

Dude thank you for sharing your story with such honesty and vulnerability. That’s a wild origin story and I’m so happy to hear that things are going better for you than you could have imagined before. Amazing work on being brave enough to do the right things for yourself and then following your curiosity and heart in the darkness of uncertainty.

[@troy6802]

This was so unexpectedly real, and greatly appreciated.

[@awanen]

Your message just gave me a new sense of hope. I was laid off recently and even though I was coming off the best month I've ever had productivity wise and in growth, they let me go. I was told it wasn't due to performance, and a lot of people went to bat for me but they still offboarded me along many other engineers. Everyday I have to remind myself It wasn't due to poor performance, because each day that passes, being unemployed, the voices in my head creeps into my skull and tries to convince me that I'm not good enough. I haven't stopped coding since the layoff, even building a startup with my friends as the sole engineer and also leveling up my system design as well as getting the rust out when it comes to coding challenges. Thank you neetcode. You just reminded me to never bet against myself again. I have 3 interviews this week. Wish me luck.

[@ViralKiller]

most these people are morons. They give me gruelling tech interviews like ' solve this Java problem'...I score 90% finish in half the allocated time, and they still don't hire me. You then visit their joke of a website and see things like, password fields showing plain text....In summary, think "I am better than them"

[@Socsob]

As someone who also went into drug induced psychosis, digging myself out of the darkest period of my life after was honestly torture. I had to go from not being able to trust my own mind into trying to function in society with at least some belief in my abilities. It took a couple years and I had to repair a lot of things I destroyed in the process, but being almost 5 years after psychosis now I can say I'm back and even stronger this time.

[@manonamission2000]

hydrate often... dehydration induced psychosis is real... also, the mind can only occupy itself with only one thought at a time, a great way to protect itself and very life affirming...

[@ananyamishra382]

It's so humbling that even a person like you could be struggling to keep things together and like I am sure a lot of programmers will feel seen after this. Great post

[@user-iq334]

What's special about him?

[@ananyamishra382]

@@user-iq334 I have seen very few people with that ability to explain concepts and that too for free. There are times when I specifically search for a neetcode explanation of a concept even after trying to understand from other sources. There's no need to bring him down by posting such comments here.

[@theendurance]

Wow, it's rare for people from Asian culture to open up like this. It's great that you got through those difficult times, and candidly talked about the lowest parts of your life. Keep up the great work on the channel!

[@kingdrift1136]

Asians saying they did drugs and alcohol is wild

[@magsec5]

Asian?

[@SurpriseMeJT]

We're taught to suck it up and not complain no matter how bad anything hurts.

[@blackmamba9950]

​@@magsec5Indians are also asians

[@exapsy]

Asian culture does not exactly embrace opening up usually. But that guy looks South American nonetheless. Big chin (like me), wide face (like me), darker skin (who has darkish Hispanics' skin in Asia? Maybe some countries). Except that I dont have dark skin, and I'm mostly from Northern countries like Ukraine who also have wide face. (I mention that so nobody can blame me for "body shaming" or something - living in a super political friendly world ... - I look like that guy in many ways) Asians have usually very thin face as a very usual characteristic.

[@adityakulkarni5577]

Very powerful man. Honestly teared up a bit watching this because even though we don't know each other, you've helped me so much to where I consider you a friend lmao. Glad you never took any action you couldn't come back from🙏.

[@ViaScientifica]

The dream state like-feeling you are experiencing could be depersonalization. Usually depersonalization is triggered by anxiety attacks or doing really big doses of psychoactive compounds. I had it, but it went away (or I got used to it idk).

[@Amplefii]

I had depersonlization from panic attacks and that last part is 100% true it either went away or i got used to it but i feel more or less normal now. But it is very scary.

[@franciscoromero1406]

Same here, happened to me with marijuana, since then all my life is a movie.

[@tundoori]

I've seen so many "I quit my dream job after such and such" videos and this was the first one to really hit home with me. Thanks for sharing your story dude.

[@vipinamar2351]

Wow that’s an amazing comeback, your channel has literally helped me transform myself from barely beginner level coder to a decent coder who is at least not afraid of Hard problems. Thanks for your work and you deserve every subscriber you have.

[@veedjohnson]

How did you use his channel pls? What videos did you watch? I’m new here and there’s a lot

[@chovbee]

Awesome story man, never would have thought you went through so much but I'm proud to see where you are now!

[@ob34915]

the moral of the story don't do drugs

[@aneeeessshhh]

You have helped me soo much in my coding journey, it’s great that your happy right now and brought yourself out of a awful situation

[@ettyxcbyrcburcbtxcfhcdtyurt]

im stashing this vid for safe keeping and reference a decade or 2 from now - u have no idea how important this is gonna be when that time comes.

[@makaloo95]

It takes a lot to talk about stuff like this. I know you're in a better place now, because you feel like you can talk about these things. Happy for ya my bro. Keep trucking ahead.

[@saipavan-o1o]

You literally proved to everyone that even if you do hit the rock bottom , you can still improve and life does get better. Thanks for sharing your story, it was quite an inspirational one. Hope you have a good day

[@vaanirajvanshi3992]

Here you are today, making a real difference and helping so many people out there. You're doing amazing work, and more power to you! ❤

[@dhruv1906]

When you said you couldn't do even the most trivial thing. That really hit the nail in my heart man. I feel like that at my current job all the time and the imposter syndrome gets me crazy. I know for sure a couple of years down the line it'll be fine but damn its weird. Thanks a lot for sharing your story. It really really helped me a lot. Thanks dude

[@kundogb]

It takes bravery to open up like this. A lot of people struggle with anxiety and other personal issues and by sharing your experience I think you're helping others greatly. Kudos to you, hope you are now better :)

[@stephanc2359]

Don’t ask questions alone was a huge red flag 🚩

[@vikramagarwal3349]

Have been through the same stage, at some point the brain does work but the heart and soul isn't there and that's probably when the thought of money goes blur and you quit, hearing your thoughts reflected a lot about what i have gone through, these things do happen and most of the time to the hardworking one's.

[@2000daboss]

Hey man, I don't know if you'll read this, but you are a big inspiration for me. What you said about anxiety and trivial tasks feeling impossible is something I experience every time I am in a new environment. Btw, your one leetcode problem a day has really helped me get back on track, I changed my schedule so I can wake up early, go to the gym, do my problem and then work. Thanks a lot for the guide and for speaking out about your darkest hours, it takes a lot of courage.

[@murphdude54]

You are not the only person to have experiences like this, but by telling your story you make the others know they aren't alone. Thank you!

[@blueguy5588]

I totally sympathize. During college, I had two internships, neither of which was officially a SWE role (think like data analytics and IT support roles). Then, in my last semester of college, I landed a SWE job at big N company and felt extremely relieved. However, when I got there three months later, it was a complete disaster - new grads were thrown into a gigantic codebase of super niche firmware, with no context of what we were doing and tickets that were full of internal company jargon. Senior devs (who weren't great themselves) were too busy to help, so new grads merged buggy code that only made the mess worse. It was extremely stressful, coming to standups with no meaningful updates and trying to explain where I was stuck. I stuck it out for nearly a year but even that was probably too long. I don't think my hairline will ever recover.

[@samuelpaz3218]

Ah sht man my worst fear aside from not getting a swe job my hairline receding :(

[@raze0ver]

hahaha the hairline one is hilarious😂 I already lost mine and you are even thinking of getting it back ! just curious, in your job situation, would it be better if you just laid back and logoff on time , enjoy the rest of the day?

[@1vladbara]

This was one of the most amazing videos I ever watched. Wow. Thank you so much for posting this and making yourself so vulnerable. It certainly takes some b*lls. I have some similar 'taboo' life experiences, and oh man, I am so happy that I'm not the only one 🙂. Be blessed my man!

[@centrumsaiyan7623]

I had similar issue to what you had during my first job. My senior told me to ask questions if I were stuck during coding but when I do, 9/10 times I would be shamed and scolded. At that time, I did not know about working life, so I thought it was normal to be scolded at. I absolutely believed I have made the worst choice to be a programmer. Only thing that kept me going was huge rental price and people losing job during pandemic.

[@DanHolland1]

Do you think you were scolded because the culture is awful/that person was really mean? Or do you feel that they "don't have time" to help you by answering your questions/expect you to be able to figure out the answer?

[@callsignmaverick-c5o]

these frustrated seniors want their juniors to ask questions in a way that they feel right

[@centrumsaiyan7623]

@@callsignmaverick-c5o that's their losing mindset

[@tekk7989]

This is relatable and very encouraging. I was laid off and spent months procrastinating and binging tv bc I felt stressed about the gargantuan task of preparing for interviews. I've started leetcoding bc focusing on single problems feels manageable. Sometimes I feel confident about my skills, sometimes I feel discouraged bc a problem is incredibly difficult to wrap my head around. But hearing it took you a year to get a job is encouraging and I should stop beating myself up for wasting months.

[@sweatypotato248]

Thanks as always, I'm also tired but cant quit need money to pay bills wish I could start freelancing

[@ooogabooga5111]

people who took up coding to make money will eventually regret it. Me personally I love what I do.

[@akhileshsharma4103]

It brought tears to my eyes after hearing that I wasn't the only one who faced this in Amazon. Thanks Navdeep

[@milkykiwidev]

As someone who's been struggling with anxiety disorder, first of all, I'm sorry for everything that you've been through, and second, thank you so much for sharing your story. I also reached rock bottom some time ago and thought I couldn't keep going anymore. But I did. Seeing other people thriving even under such dark circumstances and achieving so much success is beautiful. I'm so happy for you and also very thankful! You are my Leetcode teacher every day😄

[@SuperVaibhav009]

Thanks for sharing this brother. My only goal growing up was to make money for my mom haha. I literally went through the exact same thing couple months back, also at amazon. I also submitted my resignation until my boss at the time convinced me to stay. Luckily I was able to keep my Amazon salary and switch teams. But I didn’t even realized how depressed and burnt out I was until recently. I gained a bunch of weight. I am slowly starting to get a hold of everything. This video resonated a lot with me.

[@vyankateshkulkarni4374]

I can relate to this brother. I have gone through this kind of anxiety not once but twice (left 2 jobs). it was damn depressing. I am living my dream life after overcoming those thoughts. hats off to you bro for sharing this

[@the-real-dr2050]

It’s a reasonable story. I had a similar experience at Meta but there was nothing to point at that was wrong so it took me 3.5 years to quit. Sigh. Thanks for sharing.

[@马许-h9z]

Great to hear you walk out. I have been worked at Amazon for 3.5 years, stuck in promotion and don't know if I should quit. The worse thing is if I quit, I'm sure I can get a better job.

[@EmilyKalivan]

I had a very similar experience! Don’t ask questions. I asked someone (I felt safe with) a question and they told my manager and I got in trouble. So toxic. The working environment was absolutely chaotic also. My coworkers talked nonstop all day and it was so distracting. I was there for 4 months and everyday was torture due to my anxiety. Leaving Amazon was the BEST decision you could have made.