I Quit Drinking Alcohol For A Year.. This Is What Happened

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I have been a fairly notorious party animal since college and i always flirted with the idea of taking a year off of drinking to see what would happen and see how my mental, physical and emotional health would be impacted. I also wanted to see if my sleep, workout routines, and anxiety would improve. All of this started with my desire to quit nicotine, so watch along to see what happened after a year of no alcohol!
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[@MerleONeal]

Thank you so much for always being so open and gracious whenever I cover more serious topics on this channel. I hope you all enjoy this vid and sending lots of love and confidence to anyone who may be struggling with their relationship to alcohol

[@Subdindit]

👍🏻❤️

[@Shadeadder]

Not drinking makes you quickly realize how many adult social activities revolve around alcohol. And you can still go and not drink, but often times the entertainment just devolves to drunk humor, and it's not really that fun for anyone sober. Definitely a problem for making (and keeping) friends as an adult. I think a lot of young people never learn how to comfortably socialize without alcohol in hand.

[@EastWindCommunity1973]

Went sober at 29, very true! Sometimes you gotta find other friends and better activities. Can be tough!

[@Shadeadder]

​@@EastWindCommunity1973 I'm not sober, but I hate being tipsy/drunk. I like alcoholic drinks for the taste and craft, and typically limit myself to just one drink. So I often find myself socially aligned with sober folks.

[@JordanGresh]

I went sober in January but caved to peer pressure in June due to a vacation. I wasn't enjoying myself but I continued to participate and fall into the pressure. Since then, I have decided I am not going to drink again anymore. I feel great. It made me realize how some friends I only had in common was drinking and we had nothing else to talk about.

[@anthropomorphicpeanut6160]

Even if you "failed", you still succeeded for almost 6 months, which is already a great achievement. Most people will slip up when trying to leave any substance, so try not to focus too much on the failures and look at what you managed to do instead. Good luck :)

[@j9670]

Yes! I realized how little I had in common & how little I enjoyed being with the people I was drinking with! Now I am healthier & have healthier friendships!🤔🙂

[@MerleONeal]

that is a TOUGH realization but so proud of you, and I can totally relate

[@ilizhof]

This! Realizing some people were just drinking buddies is so hard to accept. Congrats on your continued journey of no alcohol!

[@lifeinflames123]

Sobriety doesn’t mean giving up on being social it means finding a new way to be social. I’ve been sober for 6 years and it has really changed the way I viewed a lot of my old friendships and sadly some of those are gone. But you make new friends who have more similar goals and viewpoints. I have party’s every year and they are so much fun they are just very different a lot more actual games and more real memories because your not to intoxicated to remember. You find new ways to meet people other than going to party’s and clubs. And those are normally more genuine friends because you find them doing actual hobbies and things you like.

[@MerleONeal]

THISSSSSS

[@Its.birdperson]

Totally agree with this! Since being sober (5years ago) I have lost a lot of my "friends" but I have met the most genuine people who are the most meaningful friends till this day ❤ Look for places to meet people other than parties! The climbing community is where I have met lots of great people :) Dare I say, quitting drinking at 20 has been the best decision I have made in my early adult life

[@katarinakrizova2969]

Congratulations🎉🎉🎉🎉 I'm 375 days without any alcohol today. I got pregnant and I'm breastfeeding now so it was easier with my motivation but cuddos to both of us 💪

[@LynnzeNao]

Congrats Mama!!!!

[@MerleONeal]

Heck yes!!! kudos!!

[@jordzkikass232]

Merle this is so weird, ive literally today decided to stop vaping and drinking and ive had a horrible day of cravings at work and come home and see this video, i dont believe in crystals or chance, but this is a wild sign to keep going. Thank you Merle as always x

[@MerleONeal]

KEEP GOINGGGGG

[@mariemaier5630]

I drank heaps of non alcoholic beer at the start. Could not have done it without.

[@sarahhendrickson9795]

I have had one drink in 18 months. I made a goal that when I started my new job I didn’t want it to be my way to decompress after a hard day. I’m very introverted so I rarely go to bars and parties which is the hardest to be sober at, but life is so much better without alcohol. Way to go. Your body thanks you

[@anthropomorphicpeanut6160]

I might be a boring person but, as someone who doesn't drink, parties look so damn boring. It's usually just a bunch of drunk people moving in weird ways, and a bunch of them will forget it by the next day. Perhaps I enjoy being at home too much lol

[@MerleONeal]

You're absolutely not boring, you just know what you like! and you save money doing it lmao

[@ks20227]

I haven’t had caffeine in 11 years. No alcohol, no nicotine, and no soda in 6 years. Not ever going back to those things. I don’t miss parties and I don’t have guilt about putting my health first.

[@Stoudtski]

I quit alcohol and nicotine, but I am having the HARDEST time quitting caffeine. I feel like I use it as a crutch to be able to get out of bed and go to work and I'm afraid that without that crutch I'll crash and burn. I know it's just the addict in me talking but it feels real.

[@Shadeadder]

Next to alcohol, I feel like caffeine addiction is the most socially acceptable addiction. There are plenty of people who drink it without issue (just like alcohol), but the number of people I meet who genuinely cannot function without caffeine is a bit worrying. Like, you should be able to operate normally if you don't get your morning coffee, and that's not true for a ton of people. You should be able to stop at any time. If not, it's a problem.

[@leonore3349]

The quitting part is doable. I had a headache for 2 days and that was it. But coffee gives me so much pleasure that I find it hard to live without. And why should I? Thinking about waking up to a good cup of coffee makes me happy. Much more so than food, I'm not that hungry in the morning.

[@ks20227]

@@Shadeadder I completely agree with you.

[@helpfulcommenter]

@@Stoudtski yeah but caffeine doesn't destroy your life or your health so what's the problem? there's lots of research that it actually helps blood pressure and heart health. i don't see any issue with drinking coffee to wake up.

[@pec_inspector]

I'm never seen drunk Merle (I don't think I have at least on here); and I can say I love watching sober Merle. She is funny, interesting to listen to, smart and makes me think

[@WatchDoggyDog]

good point, Agreed 🎉

[@MerleONeal]

🥹

[@Aria.Inthavong]

So proud of you for accomplishing it!!

[@ErinChamberlain-r3x]

MERLE! I just adore everything about you. I'm 20 years older (almost) and I've had a mixed relationship with alcohol as well. I put it down completely for two years because I was experiencing some symptoms of abuse or bordering on alcoholism. My drinking was never more than once a week but I found that 1 drink was too many and 20 just wasn't enough when I did drink (12-step programs have a similar saying and I know because I went to some meetings). I also found a BIG correlation with drinking and the sober up anxiety festival. I wanted to crawl under a rock every time I started sobering up. So, I took the two years off and now, I drink if I feel like it (rarely) and most of the time, I don't. And that works for me. I no longer feel crushing anxiety or guilt when I do (I'm talking probably less than once every two months) and I just enjoy myself. This could also come with being older and not giving a eff. I wanted to share that (Meat-eater who is trying to be better) I made a chickpea and shaved carrot salad earlier today and when I sat down, I saw your video pop up and thought, 'ohhhmygoshsshhh' she'd be so proud of me lol. NEVER stop inventorying yourself and your life. If it doesn't serve you, tell it to hit the road! Signed, your Big sis

[@coventional]

Never clicked so fast haha. Super proud of you for a year of sobriety, Merle! ❤😊

[@MerleONeal]

Thank you

[@WeTheDylan]

Good for you dude, the quitting itself is hard but the harder part is the reinventing of yourself as a sober person and navigating that bs. For the sleeping, try meditating right before you go to bed. Start with like 5 min, helps quiet the mind, melatonin’s a good one too. I always found the oddest thing was all the people that felt uncomfortable around me cuz I wasn’t drinking, your whole video I’m just going “yes”, “exactly”, “right? What’s up with that”. Anyways, stick with it, your brain, liver and mental health will thank you. This year will be 15 years for alcohol for me, 8 for nicotine and 4 for caffeine. I’m really fun at parties haha.

[@MerleONeal]

This whole comment made me smile

[@sarahmoze8544]

Hey Merle! I’m 29 and turn 30 in December and I’m currently on a similar journey as you. I feel refreshed, calmer, fresh minded and happy. I wish you peace, laughter and happiness ❤

[@MerleONeal]

Right back at you!

[@melmoelmochelsea]

I turn 30 in 11 days, & im thinking about making 30 a sober year. Loved this video, Merle!

[@MerleONeal]

You won't regret it!!!

[@mechasquirrelrise561]

Once I hit my late twenties the hangovers got bad so I eased up and stopped for a while. I realized my friends weren't my friends, they were my drinking buddies and they felt I was too boring without being drunk. Still stings but I'm so grateful I'm not relying on it to socialize and I got to know myself so much better. Found a new tribe ❤

[@josheehan6026]

Oh yeah! I am 52 and have been on this journey my whole life! 😂 I’m off it again now! Sober October and no roll ups! Even 2 per day is bad and yes hangovers are awful at 52! Good luck my love!!❤ wishing you healing vibes and strength - smash it! 🌸🦋💪

[@josheehan6026]

So I just finished the video and a whole year! Wow I can’t believe it! This video has come at the right time for me as wanted some inspiration- I hope u managed to stay off the nicotine and well done 👏

[@maggiesagarra]

I'm about to celebrate my first anniversary free of tobacco and alcohol. And the key word is *free*. It’s the best decision of my life (I started with 30 days, and when I was 2 weeks in, I decided to keep going, and I'm not planning to look back anytime soon). Thanks for sharing your journey, and congrats on gifting yourself the experience. The sense of presence that being alcohol-free brings in every setting and within oneself is unmatched.

[@taniaallan5702]

I quit alcohol January 2023. I don’t miss it whatsoever. I did it when the Canadian Health Association stated that no amount is safe and listed all the diseases it caused. I’ve tried to enjoy a glass of wine 2 or 3 times since but I feel awful and can’t finish a glass anymore so it’s not worth it. I feel so much better now, no headaches especially. Don’t miss feeling like shit the next day either lol

[@squidobarnez]

Well done, Merle! I had to stop drinking for a year after a bunch of brain surgeries and trying to get back into it felt so awful. and plus now the meds I'm on preclude me from being able to drink safely, so it's just off the table to be drinking. I'm impressed and proud of you! *high-fives-like-whoa*

[@wraithofsolidarity]

Everyone was proud of me; I quit vaping around the same time. I started again a year later when I got distracted by other things, but that one year was the most lucid I've ever had, albeit with a lot of psychedelic baths. Haha.

[@Lexi_Bean]

I’ll be one year sober Oct 19th! I’ve lost 55 lbs and no longer have feet problems

[@pi3.1415-y]

also omfg i also stopped smoking now for like half a year and have not gotten drunk for more than that and the feeling of social anxiety growing but regular anxiety going down you're describing IS WHAT I'M ALSO GOING THROUGH 😱 for now

[@debifier]

What a great, inspiring, and insightful video. I still drink occasionally, but my relationship with alcohol changed when I finally realized that I was using alcohol as a tool to feel more comfortable socializing with people that I really didn’t want to socialize with anymore. I needed alcohol to be able to tolerate certain people and certain types of social situations. Instead of cutting out alcohol, I cut out those people and social situations, and I just naturally started drinking less as a result. I do still drink occasionally and I still enjoy it, but I no longer feel like I need to drink to enjoy my life. It was a real process to get to that point though. I’m proud of myself for making these realizations and then making changes to align with my values. Way to go, Merle! P.S. Loved your RHPC lewk!!

[@MerleONeal]

this is exactly how I feel EXACTLY

[@TheAMP711]

I stopped drinking bc I realized every party and social situation I was using alcohol to relax, loosen up, and be my fun self. Then it hit me one day I wanted to be able to have fun without any substances. I had to work through some awkwardness and navigating telling folks I wasn’t going to be drinking, and similar to your expense I started having so much fun 💕 I’ve done so many music festivals, concerts, and big events sober and it’s such a fun experience!! Edit: I haven’t had a drink since October 22 And I honestly love it

[@MerleONeal]

This is amazing and so inspiring to read, thank you so much for sharing

[@RottenlyMoodyChild]

It's certainly no magic bullet. But stopping drinking alcohol was/is one of the best things I've ever done for myself. Makes sooo many things so much easier and better. I'm not sober, per se, and am not opposed to drinking again in future. But the pros of not drinking far outweigh the cons. I don't miss it at all. I hope it helped you 💚

[@RottenlyMoodyChild]

Just coming back to this, cause I couldn't watch the whole thing earlier. But just wanna say that this was so fascinating and informative to watch. You're such a great example and role model. We're proud of you 💚

[@kein_gott.staat.patriarchat]

I had quite the same experience with no drinking for a while, also the more negative side of being a workaholic and a lot of caffeine. But I really loved the experience and wanna do a longer strict break again without stopping for ever

[@ViCT0RiA6]

youre a cool person merle at the end of the day, i know i have those social anxieties too but at the end of the day the people who talk to me are actually interested in me. and i feel like you have a similar effect and a stronger one at that imo. so even if youre in an uncomfrotable sober moment you can rest assured know on a deep level that youre a solid person at the end of the day and others see that. those who dont, well sometimes our anxieties are telling us we are spending time with the wrong people for a reason, in my experience at least sobriety removed some time wasters and i was then blessed with the best most amazing connections in my life. welcome the blessings ☺

[@MerleONeal]

This is beautiful, thank you so so very much

[@ViCT0RiA6]

@@MerleONeal I'm shy over how many times I said end of the day 🙈 but I mean it you have a following for a reason 😊

[@ClaireMcGee-n9q]

I haven't had a drink in 6 weeks. Thank you for sharing your journey

[@pampalmer7706]

Thank you for sharing this journey. I loved hearing what you learned. So proud of you for sticking with it for the year.

[@MerleONeal]

Thank you!!!

[@misterkiller89]

I'm proud of you. I know it can take a lot of effort, and I'm on that way (not necessarily to never drink, but to regain control). You got this, hope I can too!

[@jeaninebrown1729]

First, super proud that is not an easy quest...second the health benefits for gut and brain are amazing even if taking a break, and last...the financial benefits are off the charts...alcohol and going out all the time are expensive...and the vaping and cant even imagine...

[@MerleONeal]

SO EXPENSIVE

[@kennedyhagner2787]

Love this video, and relate with it so much. My relationship with alcohol is very similar to yours, and I’ve been asking myself similar questions. Congrats on going a year without! I’ve never done that

[@ruthvanhulst7824]

Super proud of you, that's not easy! It motivates me to quit drinking for a while

[@jamesmcclammy6060]

Merle, I am proud of and for quitting alcohol! May the Lord always bless and protect you!

[@Alex-lq5zw]

I relate with this so darn much, decided to do a sober October and hopefully the rest of my life. Thanks for sharing ❤

[@MerleONeal]

You got this!

[@HStacey2011]

I really appreciate that you made this video, I've been sober for 9 years now, I am not able to drink alcohol responsibly i.e. drink and drive, blackouts, always sick, drinking shots before I would shower in the morning, it got really bad. You never have to say you're quitting alcohol forever, you can't possibly know if that would happen. In recovery people say one day at a time and even if you aren't committing to quitting you can too. Sending you love and support as you navigate life.

[@cranberrymerlin]

Congratulations on quitting both alcohol and nicotine (for the most part at least)!🥳🥳🥳 I'm just glad that I never started, I guess, quitting can be VERY hard. Remember, alcohol and nicotin are both carcinogenic, amongst many other things, so your body is definitely happy about that🎉 There is one thing that I have been bingeing on recently though btw, and that's your videos😜❤

[@MerleONeal]

Hehehe thank you for the love!!

[@britt905]

I’m really happy that non-alcoholic drinks and beers are becoming so trendy. I have a really low alcohol tolerance and never feel good drinking, but I like having a beer sometimes. More options every day :)

[@jrwoiderski]

Dammit, you had me at karaoke. I had really wanted to sing for so long but was terrified of performing. I then found out I could sing if I was fairly drunk, but after a few times, I realized I didn't need to drink any more to sing. Great feeling. Then, I started challenging myself - I would go sing at a new place - without my wife (support person) - where I didn't know anyone, etc. I am still drinking a little socially, but have really cut back and I can still do the things I want to do (semi) stress-free. Hoping to quit drinking entirely for a while soon...

[@groovinmagic6290]

Merle!!!! So vulernable, so honest, so real!!!

[@kopano_m]

🎉 So excited for you and what youre allowing this experience to reveal for you. 3 years into my sobriety, and with the mental hard line that alcohol isnt a drink this body ingests anymore, i still waiver when im about to enter a social situation, or question what we would possibly talk about everytime.... i still convince myself tp cancel social get togethers, dreading the awkwardness, and it NEVER is awkward, eever.. its nuts..

[@kimberlyrepe6672]

So relatable. Im 36 and have been sober for a few years now.. the social anxiety is real haha I still struggle with it and spend most of my time at home, but I really enjoy it. ❤

[@helpfulcommenter]

I cycled in and out of drinking and "not drinking" as you call it (I also never use the word sobriety) throughout my 30s. The later part of the decade the drinking got to be too much of a hindrance, and naturally you become somewhat less social and less chances to go out and party, so as socializing became more and more at-home, people coming over, bringing wine, beer, and leaving it, we'd drink more and more at home, rarely going out. Bad habits became worse and then around 42 I quit for a year, and now it's been a couple years and I'm so glad I did. I still will drink when traveling (great way to meet new people) but I don't let alcohol in the house and don't go out and party. Save so much money too.

[@leslieann364]

Bravo, lady! It’s really hard giving up something when other peeps are still engaging in that thing. It’s crazy how much our lives revolve around alcohol. I am 3 years sober this past May, which was prompted by recognizing I have an addictive personality and my drinking habits were becoming way too regular. It’s one of the best decisions I’ve made for my physical and mental health. And I have to say the NA options out there are getting super, super good!

[@MeganasCoeur]

I cannot tell you how much I resonate with this. I use to be life a soul of the party, the crazy girl who got everyone else hyped and drinking. I did dry January this year and I have barely drunk since. I didn’t drink for 6 months and now feel more confident just having a glass for a taste. It feels so good. I had a friends hen do this weekend and I had that anxiety you discussed about drinking. It was the first time drinking heavily in 9 months, and I didn’t enjoy it, the next day was hell and I think that’s me done for binge drinking. I felt tired for 3/4 days after. Everything you describe is how I feel put into words. It’s actual a bit wild!

[@juliajones2208]

Thank you for this beautiful KZbin post . I have been trying your recipes for a few months and had no idea you went a year with out drinking , I want to try too now, and save money so I can cook more of your recipes 😊

[@MerleONeal]

You are so welcome! The amount of money I saved is unreal. I'm excited for you :)

[@pi3.1415-y]

Waaaaaaaaaot a minute! You played Frankie???? This is now the highlight of this video hahaha

[@MerleONeal]

He's the love of my life

[@xxAlexixx88]

Proud of you! This is a great message to put out into the world

[@kaitlin6033]

Good for you. I’m five years AF in a few days. It’s such a better life! So clear, so nice. Love that you vlogged / shared your experience.❤

[@Dwoalin]

So proud of you, Merle 👏🏻❤ I myself only drink maybe a few times per year because typically alcohol makes my body feel like crap. Even in smaller quantities. Makes you definitely appreciate/enjoy those moments more in my opinion.

[@annijung4634]

Thanks for sharing this, it's very interesting to see your journey through it. I've stopped drinking on New Years and the only thing i really miss is the belonging to a group or a celebration, because if you're the only sober person at a party it kinda sucks. People judge and want to get you to drink. Then you realize how it actually is so unhealthy that people are only this free and wild because of alcohol. But you also can't talk about it because apparently you should behave this way in your 20s and let loose. It's a really strange experience to have. So you should really be proud for doing it!!

[@watersk2013]

Thank you for sharing this with us Merle! I appreciate seeing someone with a platform using it to bring attention to this. There's nothing wrong with being sober or not sober, as long as you're happy with your self. Something something, everything in moderation, something something. I loved seeing the points you were making throughout the year and it was fantastic watching your mindset change as time progressed. I also enjoyed seeing the end where you weren't sure which way you were wanting to go (staying sober or not sober) and having actual reasons for why you would or would not want to start drinking again. It's incredible seeing hard work and discipline pay off (saving money, having more energy, feeling better mentally, etc) and I'm so stoked for you! I was never much of a drinker, mostly because I don't love the taste of alcohol and my brain can't comprehend the concept of "acquired tastes", especially for things that can be as costly as alcohol. It felt a little alienating at times in my younger 20s because I would have a drink or two once in a great while (like months apart) and my friends would get kind of weird about how I was not drinking much. As we've all gotten older, they've become more understanding (or cared less?), so now I don't feel as alienated by not drinking. I also just have big money goals and I know that not drinking alcohol can help me reach those goals faster, so I also just don't really care as much about how I'm perceived for not drinking. There are times where I will party hard on extremely special occasions, but that's at most like twice a year. I personally just don't like the feeling of being "too drunk" and don't like not remembering things, so when I do drink to get drunk, I drink a lot early on (like MAYBE 8-10 pm) and then I drink nothing but water the rest of the night and eat all the snacks. I've never been hungover before and I intend to keep it that way as I'm about to be 30 next year. Thanks again for another great video!

[@cookinthekitchen]

That's good, just remember you are super awesome sober

[@wp2488]

You skin is so nice all the time and it’s hard to imagine it being “bad”

[@rubybobkowski4464]

Love youuy! Sober, drunk, everything in between - the merle o'neal experience is always a1 😉

[@michaela879]

I used to hide my social anxiety by drinking and it was only when I decided to go sober that I realized how bad my anxiety was. But more importantly, how bad my alcoholism was. It can be very sneaky- it's easy to not take it seriously when everyone else is drinking and when alcohol is so heavily normalized in media and society. But when I realized I was at least a little drunk during every social activity, every hangout with friends, every date... it was a pretty scary realization. Now I'm alcohol-free and learning how to function in front of people has been hard, but I would never go back to drinking. Just thinking about the hangovers makes me sick. Drinking can be fun when it's under your control, but it's so easy to lose control.

[@MerleONeal]

This is a very powerful realization

[@noalish1846]

I also struggle with how loud people can get when they are drinking. Loop earplugs have been great for this. Congratulations on your year!

[@mara9322]

Thank you for sharing your experience Merle! In an attempt not to sound very high-horsey, I would definitely recommend people to not drink for a little while to really experience the impact of drinking. I have quit drinking for two months after a major hangover and I have to say it did a lot more mentally than I would have expected - not that I have felt better (I mean, besides not being hungover or extremely tired after a night of drinking) but moreso realizing the position alcohol took within my life and to experience whether you really enjoy drinking / what you're doing or whether it's tied to social expectations. I don't know if not drinking has a lot of health benefits such as being energized, feeling great mentally etc. - for me I haven't experienced that. But I realized I don't know if I actually like going somewhere to get drunk. I don't have a 'I don't drink' policy for myself anymore, but now when I am about to order a drink I am really conscious about whether I want alcohol or not. And being conscious of that - your own wants - I would 100% recommend to everyone. You don't need to have a problem with alcohol to discover this for yourself I feel. Thank you for inspiring me to further discover different experiences!

[@bigbluehifi]

I restarted my relationship with drinking after 2 year hard reset on life. A few takeaways from my experience: -so much anxiety at first, my nervous system was not used to being in loud settings sober. I was never sure I knew what anxiety felt like until I stopped drinking. -sweet tooth, omg I never had cravings for sweets til I stopped drinking. I was eating cookies and cupcakes, stuff I never craved. This subsided after a few months. Makes sense though, alc drinks have a lot of sugar! -I lost some friends who ended up just being bar buds. The friends that stayed around are the real deal. -I decided to start when it felt right, and I can safely say that it was truly a hard reset. My relationship with alc is completely different and I almost never desire to drink but like having the option to. I also trust myself to stop again if I want to since I already did. Congrats on your year of no drinking!

[@MerleONeal]

This was so relatable and great to read, thank you for sharing

[@Sam13806]

This was a sign for me! A year would be perfect for me! Thanks! I need this NUDGE! You’re amazing.

[@NeccoWecco]

I'm 32 and I don't drink and never have. I hate loud/packed places so I'm not a partier, but being sober around a bunch of drunk people is also not fun.

[@Lilyibanez]

Love this ❤️❤️ currently 2 weeks sober.

[@raychuang9922]

Your friends will support you rather you drink or not And if they cannot accept who you are of not drinking than they are not your friends in the first place I suffer anxiety , panic attacks and depression and one thing that that really help besides medication is ( loving yourself) it will one day be your salvation

[@emmy_the_nbnd]

I think what is interesting is being scared that you're not as fun when you're not drunk but then being sober enough at a party to realize it's not actually that fun to be around drunk people. Because people really aren't more fun drunk everyone's just so unaware after a while that they don't notice that. As someone who doesn't drink i actually find that people and parties are less and less fun to be around/at the drunker people get.

[@PinkRose0910]

Congrats on a year sober! I’m glad it allowed you to evaluate why you drink and how it makes you feel both physically and mentally/emotionally. I would encourage you or anyone who consumes alcohol to read about the recommendations for what is considered a serving. Also read about the health consequences of consuming alcohol. I’m glad you found other ways to socialize. Finding other places to hang out instead of a bar is helpful. If someone is struggling with addiction it’s better to avoid temptation. Alcoholics Anonymous offers free support for anyone who needs it.

[@davidnelson3131]

Terrific video! I hope folks pick up on the amount of reflection you did throughout your year. Rather than just white-knuckling it to a goal, the analysis is where the real growth occurs. You hit on a point that was critical to my own transformation from a mindset of "I'm not drinking" or "I can't drink" to "I don't want to drink" which is the total amount of time getting drunk really takes. It's not just the time it takes getting to that feel-good spot and the inevitable time recovering from the hangover, it's also the time you spend in anticipation throughout the day, the time you spend worrying about and dealing with the consequences of any stupid things you did or said, the time you now have to spend doing the stuff you put off because you were hungover and even the extra time you have to spend doing things because you're just not as sharp as you should be. In my case that all added up to a monumental amount of time compared to the amount of time I spent actually feeling "good" while intoxicated.

[@MerleONeal]

ooooooph this gave me goosebumps. so. well. said.

[@mythicalmim]

This could not have come at a better time for me and I'm so proud of you for taking a break and learning about yourself! I had a scary experience with alcohol and quit drinking for a bit and I had all the same fears you had: are my friends still my friends? Will I still be fun to be around? Will I be having fun? And I've been diagnosed with social anxiety for a long time, so it was a major adjustment for me. But it got easier every time. I am drinking again, but I'm better at calling it a quits when my body is telling me to. I've had way too many staying up till sunrise nights and I am happy I've rekindled the part of me that enjoys a cozy night at home. I'm now on my journey to stop smoking and I think I'll have to quit drinking for that too. I'm very excited to get fit and actually be able to breathe when I walk up a slight incline lol it will be so worth it. I hope you continue the no nicotine. You got this!

[@emetatron]

I relate with so many things in this video. I had to give up alcohol due to a medical issue in 2010 when I was only 21. I would still go out sober, but I experienced social anxiety and the fear that friends were using me for a free ride home rather than actually wanting me there. I lost friends because of it but I quickly realized that those people are not real friends. Other friendships deepened because those friends were supportive and put in effort to do more sober things with me. I found other hobbies besides drinking and made lifelong friends from that (even met my husband that way). After some time, I felt more authentically myself. I was no longer the party girl and I could never see myself being that girl again. I'm shy, I'm quiet, I like being at home, playing video games, and hanging out with a few close friends. I used to be that way when I was younger and I've kind of reconnected with that part of me. I'm 35 now and I love the sober life. I made a lot of bad decisions while drinking and I'm so lucky I never ended up as a statistic. I feel so much better having control of my mind, my actions, and my behaviours. Anyway, proud of you for making it this far because it's not easy.

[@MerleONeal]

This is such an incredibly powerful and empowering statement, thank you

[@emetatron]

@@MerleONeal Thank YOU for sharing your story because it validated so much of what I felt when I stopped drinking.

[@DoubleO7-11]

Happy early birthday 🥳 you go girl

[@MerleONeal]

Thank you

[@emily042794]

This naked mind is another good book to check out if you havent yet

[@stephaniebutler81]

MERLE!!!!! You do not know how much I NEEDED to see this video. I've been thinking a LOT about my drinking (even having a seltzer right now) and I think I need to stop. I also need to quit cigs. Sigh, I'm struggling. Thanks again for this video, I needed it. I'm not sure what I will end up doing, but I'm going to try.

[@MerleONeal]

YOU GOT THIS - start with a solid period of time, like 3 months and see how you feel - you can start shorter like 1 month too but I feel like by 3 months i was really feeling the changes

[@stephaniebutler81]

@@MerleONeal Thank you! I'm sobbing. I'm in a crappy living situation (we are definitly ok, just that we live with my parents, and my dad is an alcoholic.) I'm trying to move out, I'm trying so hard. I think once I can finally get back out on my own I can really do it! It's so hard when my dad drinks. Ugh. I'm going to try though! THANK YOU for this post, and your response!!

[@LoreanEscobar-c6q]

I appreciate how you make everything feel so doable!

[@hadiyahbrown]

This video was great! I love the self reflection, so refreshing!

[@MerleONeal]

Thank you so much!

[@sarahvnyc]

I think it's important to look at your drinking habits in terms of whether they seem like they are causing a problem for you... or whether you are trying to solve a problem with alcohol. I.e., are you trying to fix your social anxiety, are you trying to cope with stress, are you trying to numb your feelings, stuff like that, by drinking alcohol. That tells me that a person is using alcohol as a crutch and it's unhealthy. Likewise, if you can't say "stop" after one or two drinks and every drinking occasion is a big binge night and a hangover? That's not a good sign. Try to cultivate friend groups that aren't JUST heavy drinkers. I hear that a lot from people who quit drinking - their friends feel judged when they quit drinking, they try to get them to drink again, or they just never see them because their only social connection was alcohol. I mostly quit drinking for medical reasons (I was never a big drinker/partier) but have several friends who are bartenders/bar owners so I have been around a lot of alcohol consumption/heavy drinkers in my day...

[@mary.w.]

First, congrats on going a year with no drinking or vaping! That is a huge accomplishment. I don't know how many years ago I stopped drinking heavily, but honestly, it is worth it. You mentioned not having that hard and fast rule of no drinks. I allow myself a drink if I want in social situations. If I went to Ireland, I would have a beer for the experience, or a specialty cocktail at a wedding. After the one drink, I move on to other experiences. I hope this made sense and helps. It doesn't have to be one drink, maybe you can do two drinks, and not get that hangover. Continue to grow and learn. I love your content. Also, Happy birthday!

[@mariemaier5630]

I stopped alcohol in January. There have been many benefits but I also had to accept that I was self medicating my general anxiety disorder with alcohol. I now finally decided to take medication for it. Hopefully find one that works.

[@RUEGREY]

Your skin is so glowy! I can see the difference.

[@LinneaSmash]

I realized during the 2020 lockdowns that I really don't need alcohol to have a good time. Drinking over Zoom or when hanging out digitally with friends simply didn't hit the same and so I went almost a full year without touching the wine and gin that were sitting in my home. Before that year I would usually order a glass of wine or a cocktail at dinners out with friends, or bring/drink something alcoholic when I went to parties... just because that felt like what you're supposed to do as an adult haha. Turns out, I really didn't miss any of that and my health and wallet thanked me (especially when I learned how much alcohol can cause bodily inflammation and make health issues worse). Now I have an extremely sparing relationship with alcohol. I'll have a couple glasses of something on special occasions like weddings, holidays, etc. or if I'm traveling somewhere and want the experience of trying a local liquor or specialty cocktail but other than that I'm more than happy to have a tasty mocktail or an iced tea. It makes me so happy to see other people questioning the societal default we have that's so dependent on alcohol when it comes to socializing and feeling like you "belong" in third spaces like bars or nightclubs. It shouldn't be our only option and it's nice to see people embracing something new. Thank you for making this video, Merle!

[@theent01]

I realized that I was often drinking after frustrating or anger inducing days at work. I got upset that I was allowing a shitty job to control me in that way, so this year I have stopped drinking so far. 1.5 months sober. I don't know how long it will last, but it's fine so far.

[@j9670]

Congratulations! So proud of you!!🥰

[@Aaron-qb7jr]

Awesome job Merle. It is always good to redefine oneself and learn about our relationship with ourselves, others, our environment, and even substances. I am almost 47, and I do not drink. I have never been a drinker. I have a highly addictive personality and have had issues with food, gaming and other addictions. I know I would not have had a good relationship with alcohol, so have never allowed myself to go that route. The number one question I have always received is “How do you have fun without alcohol?” This question has always bothered me. I do a lot of things that are fun and that is probably better and safer without alcohol, like rock climbing, swimming, and back packing. Granted some people probably keep it under control and stay safe while drinking and doing these activities. However the thought of using alcohol during these activities scare me. I have asked many of the people who asked me that same question, “How do you have fun without alcohol?” to see their responses and it baffles me how so many of them do not know how to have fun without alcohol. Your video caused me to pause and reflect on my choices and to reevaluate my relationship to other substances and habits that I may overly rely on . Thank you for sharing.

[@MerleONeal]

thank YOU for sharing! I really appreciate it

[@stevejay5018]

not smoking or drinking is having self respect and being good to yourself and body , so being good to your ( body and soul ) smoking and drinking is nasty , expensive and it's slowly killing you , think about how hard you work on your health , saves you money , it's loving yourself more , will keep on rooting for you , a small step makes a huge difference , for big change ,

[@davestanekmusician572]

Amazing video. Thank you for bringing us along.

[@IBDASHID]

Great content. So eye-opening & real. We are very similar. I'm more of a social drinker if I drink. Congrats & great job!

[@MerleONeal]

Thank you

[@brittanywinn3955]

You should definitely be proud. Thats an awesome accomplishment and such a great year of learning. I don't drink, I find that the hard and fast rule almost protected me from the peer pressure to drink. The barrier it creates, people just accept that I don't drink.

[@cakebeary]

Great video, thanks for being so honest and humble as always 💜

[@kaylalunt5302]

2 books that I think can be good for anyone are confidence under pressure and 7 rules you were born to break. They are both by Rick Lewis

[@ViCT0RiA6]

social lubricant is literally the best way to say it damn

[@laurasnow7822]

Heck yeah!

[@graceraven3423]

I feel like your mental journey with this is similar to mine. I eventually just got tired of waking up hungover, not remembering everything about the night, feelings slightly embarrassed if I said something weird or did something that was too much. It also was affecting my health negatively, and eventually, just feeling drunk got boring. So now I only have like a drink or two Max once in a blue moon when I'm really in the mood. Like I'm about to go to Egypt, and I'm definitely going to have some traditional Egyptian alcohol, but just a taste or two. But if I was in a no drinking phase, I wouldn't get to enjoy the entire experience. But if I was in a mentality of I want to get drunk, then I also wouldn't get to enjoy the entire experience. For a different reason. So I really like that I have flexibility and openness with it. And I genuinely listen to my body and how I'm feeling in every moment. Most of the time, when people are drinking around me, I genuinely just don't feel in the mood to drink anymore. But if I do feel in the mood to drink, then I allow myself to, I just don't lose control. I feel very empowered in my decision. And that's a great act of self-love.

[@jessicalajoie4684]

I recently did a year of know alcohol and relate to a lot of this. Especially the wondering when I’ll be ready to drink again. And a month after the year, I eventually found a vegan pisco sour at a Peruvian restaurant and was excited and not scared to drink again. I also only had one drink at that dinner and that truly felt like enough. I also felt a major personality change through the process. It was concerning, yet felt right? Now I don’t feel the need to drink as often or as much. I had this journey 28-29 and I feel so much more balanced.

[@alexandergreuter5938]

Wonderful video, thank you!

[@itscarolinemary]

You have some strong ass willpower ❤ amazing job!! 👏👏 I have a bad habit of wanting beer on a Friday night or even on a weeknight (pandemic habit). 😢 I def have an addictive personality!

[@caitlin4663]

This was a really interesting video. Thank you for all the time and energy you put into it over the last year. I'm on a similar journey. I was wondering how not drinking has affected your relationship with Aria? I've found I'm a lot less irritable, more patient and overall a better partner. That's been a pretty big realization ❤

[@TheFonzieCommunity]

How is your smoking progress? Also the best part of you is drinking or not drinking is really up to you, at least you enjoyed drinking and not drinking knowing the experience. You got this!! Also happy early birthday libra Merle!! I’m late October!! My birthday is late October.

[@WatchDoggyDog]

You were Merle the Squirrel, and high flying no less!! Love that. Huge Props to achieve such a goal, I think youtubin' it must have helped too. I been 32 for 3 n a half months now, but oddly I tend to think of you as a wee bit older than me considering how mature and successful you are, lol. For me and many dudes, semen retention trumps alcohol as the big thang to like, improve on. I gotta drink more water when I drink tho, that really does help a lot. But yea, go you Merle, thanks for sharing, and Happy Birthday soon to you!!:)) 🎉❤️🌺✨🎊🤙😎💥👊

[@sunny5ma]

Good on you, Merle! Can't even imagine how much prep and work went into this video! So good! I could never though, haha...not me sipping on wine as I'm watching this haha (soz). Still, lots of love, can't wait for the next one and ciao for now!! ❤❤❤

[@iniyama]

i stopped drinking some 5-6 years ago because i was bordering addiction and combined with my mental health issues it just was a really dangerous mix. alcoholism runs in the family so the awkwardness around talking about not drinking you mentioned is always there. then i went vegetarian around 4 years ago and now i am once again the outsider of the family 😂 literally after all these years there's still people around me who do not know (or care?) that i don't consume alcohol or meat and yet they still offer. it's tiring, not gonna lie