I Read the Top 25 Books on Love. Here’s What I Learned.

[@jarc492]

*SUMMARY* Self-knowledge: Relationships Have to be Conscious Love & Not to Fill a Void 1. Being in a relationship should not be to fill a void. (Is this person filling a void and what do I have to do to feel whole?) 2. You really have to like the other person. Focus on the fundamental character of your partner rather than just the feelings. (Years into the relationship when the passion has faded, what are the traits you wish they would have?) 3. Relationships are not about what you can get, but about what you can give. Prompt: Am I entering into a long-term relationship because there is something unresolved? or is it because I want to find the best match and make their life the best as possible?

[@ModernHealthMonk]

Thank you!

[@srivatsavmattaparthi4915]

I still watched entire video in fast forward just to give the youtuber a view.

[@tadoououo]

What are the books that tought you this?

[@infpbubble7549]

I loved the point of it is easy to love someone on a trip to hawaii but you need to love that person on the 5 hour flight just the same

[@ModernHealthMonk]

Right! I loved it when I heard it

[@SY-sp8uo]

Who is aiming to read lots of books this year? 🎉

[@p.a.y.e2119]

I have more like 7 or so... 😁✌

[@voizox5372]

Me but I don't know which ones to read... I'm 17 and I want to work on my self development

[@Lucas-uq9rq]

Yeah 👍

[@calebthagoated1]

Right here!!

[@eltronado2]

Here! You say 12 books this year?

[@salimaosman1698]

At the end of the day. We get into relationships to grow and to learn something about ourselves. They are no perfect person out there.

[@olliviermae]

Passion towards your lover never dies. People allow it to. Love should get stronger, not weaker.

[@AndreyZenperial]

Love is literally one of the highest frequency of vibration, no wonder when we are in love it feels like we’ve got the whole world at our feet! Great video✌🏻

[@rubytuesday5494]

What does that even mean. Love is a vibration? It’s neuro chemicals

[@phloatuk4182]

Love is both vibrational and neuro chemicals and more. It is not finite@@rubytuesday5494

[@CaseyBurnsInvesting]

This was an awesome video. Shared vision, family values, shared religion, and being a complete person are super important in my relationship.

[@ModernHealthMonk]

Thanks Casey

[@AhmetKaan]

*Hello everyone who will see this comment anytime in the future! I hope your 2021 will be so much better than your 2020. Stay strong, I am cheering for you!*

[@donnawoodford6641]

TY. I needed your words of encouragement during this 2021 time. It got to me!💟🕯️🙏🕊️

[@LIBqueen]

2024 baby!!😁

[@LIBqueen]

2024 baby!!😁

[@suncluster]

After my last relationship I finally realized I was recreating the dynamic of my parents relationship. And it was abusive. My exhusband has alienated me from my child so it continued after our divorce. I am the friend who was broken down so much that I can’t pay my rent and can’t keep friends. Because I just gave up on my life for a long time. I am still trying to climb out of the hole. It’s a long road ahead but I am clear I will never ever have another relationship like I did in my past either with another person OR MYSELF.

[@eliz1866]

My prayers for you, things will get better,

[@fatiraaureliatarigan8579]

Thank you for the video, this is a really good food for thought. For the third point, I feel there's a lot of nuances that needs to be stated. One of the most important is "giving is not the same as fixing". I think there's a very thin line that makes people have trouble differenciating the two. But when we're able to, it makes a whole lot of difference.

[@ledarodriguez4887]

Great advice. I have found getting out of yourself is always the answer. We are all so self centered. Relationships helps us develop our most selfless nature :)

[@one2three42five]

That would be lovely if you could share your list of books on love. I has been thinking for quite sometime what I would love to read this year. I came across your channel and this video absolutely by accident, but once I watched I knew it was for a reason. I feel absolute inspired to read books on love this year and get my love life together also this year :). Thank you for sharing and inspiration!

[@SukhjinderSingh-rn4hi]

Hello friend, I came here about to comment that, have you read any books what did you learn and can you please recommend any books?

[@alizeederochefort5595]

Whoa. Thank you so much Alex. I'm 19 and I am so glad I'm watching your video now. For each of your realization I asked myself, and I am happy to realize that the relationship I am into now seems to be healthy, according to what you say. It makes me feel good to know that I'm on a good path. Thanks!

[@khaledabegum1208]

Can we get the list of the 25 books please?

[@brownhairedgirl23]

this is by far the best relationship advice i have ever ever ever listened to. i’m 20 and have always been single, but while soaking in all of this information, i think of how toxic my parents’ relationship is and how i want to my future relationship become nothing like theirs.

[@daeshellburton2094]

The most impactful thing for me was to remember to ask myself the hard questions. What voids am I trying to fill even on an unconscious level. I feel like that's tough if you're not real with yourself. And even more so. How can I be whole inside of a relationship and not lose myself In the other person. That was huge for me. Thanks and many blessings 🤗

[@wickandde]

This is just what I need. My ex boyfriend and I also broke up in November, since then I've realised this too and been working on the areas I lack in or reprogramming those unconscious patterns as you call it. Thank you for this timely video 🙏🌻

[@jibrilnjenga8185]

Grace how are you am jibril from Kenya Africa please mind if we can exchange numbers please 🥺

[@ursulac.2952]

COVID has really got me reevaluated why I should wait before hoping into another relationship.

[@kendallhamilton5322]

Thank you so much. From the bottom of my heart, the world needs more people like you.

[@djf8619]

Luckily, I got the info about LIKING the person you intend to spend the rest of your life with when I was in my early teens. My S.O. and I have been together nearly 50 years now. You asked, "Would you still want to be with the person even if nothing sexual ever happened?" This is a seriously good question. Another thing to ask is, "Have I developed into a well-rounded person who brings good things to the table?" and the last is, "Have they."

[@DianasReport]

5 years out, if passion has sizzled what are the characteristics that I want in my partner? Humor, easygoing, intelligence, open minded (a man willing to try new things , ideas & travel), a great communicator verbally & nonverbal with me, completely devoted to our relationship on every level~ physically~emotionally~spiritually. What would they want from life? To live a fulfilled, loving, extraordinary life with me ☘️

[@mariusmiron7525]

Great video Alex. I've been through a breakup in the last year, and learned A LOT, kinda the same things that you say here.

[@hazaeleduardorojas9177]

Thank you for this video. I am not in love nor have I been in a relationship for over 10 years. Working evenings and never making enough money has been the (thought) thing that has held me from meeting someone, but mainly because I was not asking the universe the right things. Knowing what I need in a relationship I had no clue, but now that I have had time to know myself I am clearer on what I need. I also am working on releasing that into the universe and just let life take its course. Paying attention to my own needs and loving myself is key to finding all the things I desire in life, Love is one. Thanks again for making this even more clear for me.

[@nusibasaeed1938]

Alex that is so beautiful and well thought am sending you my love wish u a fruitful year ,keep shining ✨

[@infinityreadings008]

Thank you for the summary. It's amazing when your in a relationship how the rational things slip away until your back out of it again. Greatly appreciated 👍

[@sree0801]

you are absolutely right on every point

[@michelangelopazienza]

This is one of the most true and most helpful channels on KZbin hands down. Thank you!

[@jzhz5269]

You can't be a rock sitting alone with yourself and call that a relationship, both sides have to consciously care about the other person.💖

[@milanakrondahl2511]

please share more of this!!! love is so needed and not enough people read books

[@hilaluzun6266]

"What do i have to do to feel whole?" That's the reason i watch this right now

[@alwaysattractinggreatthings]

Love yourself first 🤗and know that you are enough. That way you if the relationship doesn’t work out, you will know that you are whole to know your worth and it’ll be easy to walk away and not feel so codependent on the other person . Try not to get too attached to a person right away ! until they prove themselves that they’re worthy of your time and attention. Patience is the key too . Talking from experience trust me. 🙏🏻 Take care and good luck. 👍🏻

[@hilaluzun6266]

@@alwaysattractinggreatthings Thank you 🙏☺️

[@alwaysattractinggreatthings]

@@hilaluzun6266 you’re welcome 😊 💖

[@LuanEevee]

@@alwaysattractinggreatthings After watching this video I had the same question. Thank you for answering this! Wish you the best!!

[@joymae]

Love is the most beautiful thing

[@brianmarshall3931]

What were the 25 books? And what did you get out of each?

[@kaveoniawilliams634]

Same 👀👀

[@eduardochavacano]

He is just another American who bought books to feel intelligent.

[@brianmarshall3931]

@@eduardochavacano They do exist. I am guilty of having done that myself. Finally setting out 4 books a month to finish. Not buying another until they are all DONE!

[@lucillesoriano5257]

Same, the list is not even in the desc.

[@adriannaalba2649]

It would’ve been nice to know which books these were

[@smallmi777]

Exactly my thought.

[@carolynpiaorongan3314]

How I love meeting someone with your mindset here in our country 😅💕 thank you for this HAPPY NEW YEAR 🎉

[@catche85]

Love the concept of a "contributions focused life". This is how I live now and especially how I view relationships, and it was nice to hear you say you can't go wrong because at least you had the right intent.

[@tinaperez7393]

What?!? The mutual love of corgis, iceland, and salted peanut butter ice cream is the key to the perfect, lifelong relationship! 😁

[@TrueStature]

Thank you for this! I really love the messages I get from your videos! Not only do you share a wealth of knowledge, but your push about journaling and self reflection are super empowering. I love the question, “Is this person filling a void?”

[@phloatuk4182]

I found falling in love and accepting myself attracted men to me even when I wasn't looking or interested in a relationship. Sticking to principles is really important to have a healthy relationship no matter how hard. thank you for you video is was really insightful and inspiring

[@chrissizimmerman2264]

you are good in expressing things quick and easy. also how you try to connect and give yourself into the topic and into your audience.

[@phloatuk4182]

We are always still growing we never are completely whole in order to wait for a person when we become whole. But I do get your point. If you are a mess then its a good idea to sort that mess out as much as you can first and not be with someone to fill a void. Which is quite hard as you may not realise you had a void until you are with them and things become enhanced. Or the extra Love factor come into effect. i.e. you feel even more loved with them

[@laurel5432]

I'm glad to have pushed away the person I fell in love with as these points definitely were valid in that case

[@jeanbatmusic17]

Thank you Alex, to take the time to read all these books and extract and summarize the best lessons for us!

[@mariapallay6118]

think of the most messed up person you know--- immediately thought of myself...

[@yashodharmahajan5571]

Me too! how about exploring that together?

[@ModernHealthMonk]

:-(

[@yutiwadeepinyochotiwong3942]

Nope...I see a woman who is growing to be extraordinary this year :)

[@mariapallay6118]

@@yutiwadeepinyochotiwong3942 so sweet, thank you! :) This channel helps a lot, actually ^_^

[@emilyc5625]

@@yashodharmahajan5571 😂😂😂😂😂

[@emilyc5625]

I think it depends . You could both have issues but be happy and work together while you grow into great successful people .

[@JuanBendana]

Great insights on relationships brother. Really solid advice. I hope you're having a great start to 2021!!

[@lucierychla6591]

Hello Alex! Which of the 25 books you read would you recommend? And how did you pick those books, to begin with (based on what criteria)? Thank you.

[@virginiat7092]

After a really bad break-up, I figured I must be doing something wrong so I went to the library to find books about relationships. The librarian who knew that normally I would be in a different section doing some sort of academic research came by to assist me, so I told her I wasn't sure about what I was looking for in relationships and since I keep messing up I needed some books and she responded: oh and you are going to find a boyfriend in the books; hah!

[@sheilasullivan1950]

What? Rude and uncalled for. It's not always you. It's 50/50. If they grow tired of the relationship, want something else, change? It's not you. Give yourself a big ole space to remember who you are. Then be open to what God has instore for you. Don't regret anything. It's a stepping stone to who you are and where you are now. So...are you married now? Curious?

[@AlexzandradelaIglesia]

Great video! Thank you for all the work you put into creating such an empowering message.

[@_progressions22]

Self Knowledge is huge!!! You’re often forced to look within in relationships, the self development is inevitable for sure!

[@natasha_anastasia111]

But did you read the Anastasia and the Ringing Cedars book series yet!? Book to end all books

[@bbybriina]

thank you for recommending I will definitely check them out

[@nyxsun]

Bruh. Yes.

[@lpngolfer]

Yes, I have almost the entire set! Great books to read and practice!

[@bespoke_heirlooms]

The last lesson was the one that hit me the hardest, because I realised that’s how I behaved in my last relationship. You also made me see that I have an amazing person (not my partner) in my life who tries to give some of that to me, which means I’m blessed!

[@blackwings2885]

I am happy to know I'm thinking well and appproaching this the right way, this video confirms most of my mindset.

[@agnes4398]

This is a perfect explanation on finding true love.. I go into relationship to fill a void in me and to be honest i never liked them not at all. And now i know ...

[@bunnybln1]

Great video! You are asking the right questions everyone should ask themselves and answer honestly. 🙏🏻

[@buttermonkey33]

Great list I absolutely agree with it all especially in realizing that real love is service! I'm there! 🙌

[@prismonthethehorizon5793]

Awesome video! Thank you for reading all those books and providing these core principles! Really appreciate it alot.

[@DariaZeev]

Great takeaways! And the example of the friend who doesn't cope with reality is spot on.

[@ramonalisa4187]

This video was absolutely amazing. Wow. Thank you for sharing what you learned!

[@mojoducati656]

Brilliant, and generous to share this with people.💛

[@BarbaraMarch444]

Thank you for your amazing videos and to share your intelligence with us, what you say and share is so valuable! Thank you so much. Wishing you all the best ! 🌸💖🥳🎉❤️

[@andrewjacobs9207]

Thank-you for the video, I have been trying to self improve and found this helpful.

[@1980tiffani]

Very good information...something that stuck with me is a whole person being with a whole person... I guess if two whole people are together and have done all of their inner work then there won’t be someone just taking , while the other is always giving.. there will be a balance, both pouring into each other and both contributing to each other’s joy, happiness and wonderful existence. Two whole people together is wonderful...

[@pa4760]

Remember, love is all and all about giving. Give as much as you can. But, to give, you must be complete as a whole.❤

[@janmarsh5643]

Totally succinct to my experience. Thank you for sharing your realization about love. It was so reassuring . My husband died four years ago and he taught me to love myself and I was able to walk with him through his health crisis to dying in the most amazing and meaningful experience for both us. He left me a note in my makeup bag which I didn’t find till after he died. It said I love you very much. Your sharing has been precious and clarified much for me . Thank you so much.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@theruffhousedogs]

Wow, the most impactfull point to me would be that if you did all those things and it still didn't work, it's OK, you did it for them and not to fill a void in you. I was made to think I was too caring, too helpful, and did too much. I'm intense, I know, but that is part of why I get things done.

[@vaneeza007]

Great video/advice. This might be the best video on this topic on KZbin. Thanks for sharing. 🌹

[@len.janculova]

Agree with absolutely everything what has been said here! Make them notes peeps 🙌🏼😄🙌🏼

[@tomy23able]

Really cool video, right on point and explained very elegantly and coherent. Thanks 💕

[@infpbubble7549]

Please do 2 videos on each book!!

[@jooctober9021]

Amen . The best video about relationship ever . You're so right . Sometimes I look at some couples and I ask myself why they are really together cause visibly there're some doubts . Big Thanx & Hugs from Brussels ; )

[@mehultrivedi5862]

Amazing Insights From You Man..! I love Your Work. You Really Put Out The best Summary Of What Really love is About..!✌️🤗

[@LianaBuzea]

Pfuuu, here goes Alex, kicking intimacy & love coaches off the market :) Seriously now, great job!

[@ModernHealthMonk]

Hahah, not yet!

[@travis555fofo]

Really awesome content keep up the good work man👏🏻

[@silatikalaluka3847]

Thank you for sharing, they were all very impactful

[@leony-qt1oy]

Please say the name of the books, really want to read those😊

[@marciafab7]

Thank you for this video. Excellent guidance.

[@heatherpooler5406]

Lol! The five hour flight to Maui was actually more enjoyable than the two weeks there with my ex.....

[@proudindian9140]

why? what happened there ??

[@Connectingthedots.]

Love the video and such a good idea that bring value to the viewers! Thanks for sharing! New subscriber!! ☺️⚡🌱

[@naseeha101]

Yass! Already on the first point! 🙌 Great points 👌

[@heltonroyzamorasambola7843]

Happy new year friend keep it up may this following year granted many things through your lives 🍷🎇🎆 🎉🎊

[@JulieElvenMusic]

Absolutely loved this!

[@RBlur]

That was vey informative & beneficial. Thank you.

[@prismonthethehorizon5793]

1)Avoid unconscious patterns. Don't ever get in a relationship to fill a void. Are you dating a person for any of these reasons? *Loneliness *Regular sex *Financial security or kids *Status, beauty, Money, prestige or because you think they're cool. * They have what you don't have in your own life such as fun, variety, danger, novelty, stability, sweetness, selfcare etc... Are you trying to fill a hole/ void or trying to replace a parental dynamic? So to avoid unconscious coupling ask yourself these questions: Is this person filling a void? What do I have to work on to be whole? 2) YOU REALLY HAVE TO LIKE THE OTHER PERSON! Best friend chemistry Sexual chemistry Mutual respect Shared values or a shared vision! 5 years out when passion, excitement, freshness has subsided and they don't arouse any strong feelings what are the traits you wish they had? What are their family values, work ethic? What is their personality or friendliness like? What is their patience tolerance? What is their approach towards kids or community? Thinking about what their fundamental character is, is central rather than focusing on the feelings of lust. It's easy to enjoy the holiday but what was the trip to the exotic place like? Relationships are made up of the mundane everyday moments! 3) BUILD A RELATIONSHIP AROUND HOW TO CONTRIBUTE AND HELP THE OTHER PERSON REACH THEIR FULL POTENTIAL. Be a healthy non-codependent person. Have your own life but make sure you have the intention to help the other person live their best life!

[@kemikunle9360]

Making the other person happy - key!

[@Parkitloveit]

Thank you so much 😊 What I got out of your video: We should become a better version of ourselves and love the Monday moment of the partner to be able to love him forever. Second: I should read more to be a better version of myself. ❤️🍀

[@fiscalgirl]

Great video, thank you!

[@juliabaumgartner6475]

Yes, but one does not have to be completely "whole" as a person to be in a beautiful relationship. A partner can actually contribute greatly to one owns healing. The problem just arises when one believes they don´t have to work on themselves anymore and their partner can fix them. Although if both parties work on themselves individually and also on the relationship and try to be there for one another then much healing can be taken place in a relationship that would not have been possilbe living a life alone.

[@user-jk4jj4nm1q]

What about if the relationship ends? Do you think healing that takes place in a relationship lasts outside of it?

[@yAyA9964]

This was an awesome video , beautifully said

[@dottie_mayfield]

my vibration has been so long that honestly it wasn't until as of late more high quality men have been appearing in my atmosphere so to speak. hmm nice ..very nice and I just wanted to take a min to thank you for all the moments you had to face with yourself and in society that allowed you to be the kind of man you are. I would really appreciate a video for raising sons to be encouraged to do the same for moms though lol

[@josevillegas1987]

You are a good man!

[@islandparadise1576]

The first two are obvious and also a bit high standard. Yes you shouldn't seek to fill a void with another person but most people aren't totally whole. Yes they should focus on individuation etc but not avoid love if they can't achieve perfection. But the last point was very thought provoking thank you!

[@andreasmoller5378]

Hey Alex, great video. Was wondering if you could share the book list so we can read some of them. Greetings from Colombia !!!

[@ModernHealthMonk]

Yes please DM me on IG

[@dp1202]

Great summation. What were the 25 books? I’d like to incorporate them into my reading.

[@suzanopperman]

Would love to see the list of books! But great video 🤩

[@emilychingy]

Amazing video!! Love must go on

[@User_whatshisname]

Well said. I love this.

[@p.a.y.e2119]

Happy New Year 💙✌

[@iertez]

Great video!

[@natechaloux5436]

Great review. Thank you. 🙏

[@alexandraforrai7390]

Good points, thanks! :)