00:00 Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.
@eileenwatt8283Ай бұрын
As a nurse she can work over time and use that money to paydown the debt. No nurse should feel helpless with debt. There are so many work available at the hospitals, clinics home care agencies. If she works at a hospital they are always looking for volunteers to work OT and some hospital makes it mandatory. That pay is time and and a half pay so she can do it. I don't think she is exploring all her options. She' too focus on the numbers.
@Paths2business8406Ай бұрын
Yes but you let her off way too easy. She was clearly lying to you Smh
@101289teutonicguy28 күн бұрын
Ramit, I love you to death man, but you either need to bring a couples therapist to these sessions or become a clinical couples therapist. You missed A LOT with this couple. What I saw in the first 30 minutes that you missed -For her 1. She's parentified now, I can infer that this has likely been happening since childhood and her mom probably did this to her. 2. She has avoidant codependency: her mom was probably emotionally volatile and made her child responsible for the mother's well being and this is why she puts herself last and doesn't face her own problem or ever tell her family no. It's also why she hid her situation from her boyfriend for 7 years. It's also why she's so manipulative of his feelings and probably why they haven't just broken up. 3. Chaotic attachment style: it explains why she avoids somethings and clings to others - these are all classic abuse victim traits. She was a victim of child abuse and she's currently LIVING WITH HER ABUSERS! This isn't a money discussion, this is a woman who needs to be rescued from her awful family (she blames her dad, but her mom is at least as awful as he is) -For him (less because he barely talked) 1. Trust issues: the reason he wasn't pissed off was because he never really trusted her to begin with, he probably doesn't trust anyone 2. Avoident attachment style: this is why he never bothered to confront her on her issues. 3. Codependent: I would rather not fight that be in a healthy situation 4. Low eq: he doesn't have the vocabulary to talk about what is happening with his emotions and I wouldn't be surprised if he isn't blind to his own emotions most of the time. - I would love to have heard about his childhood. But you ignored it because her debt made you focus on her more. Again I love the shit out of you but you're going to be having these kinds of conversations a lot, and you're not qualified to help these people right now. It's scary, and it's a disservice to your fans. You have an amazing intuitive grasp for thus stuff but you are lacking the specific education to really get at the issues. This woman is an abuse victim and she doesn't realize it. A real therapist would be able to at least handle this in a debrief. Note: I am not a therapist, but this couple has A LOT of similarities with my wife and I and we have been to years of therapy to deal with it.
@101289teutonicguy28 күн бұрын
Shes an abuse victim, stop being part of the problem. You wouldn't blame a woman for being raped so stop blaming a child for being broken by her parents
@Paths2business840628 күн бұрын
@@101289teutonicguy That's no excuse, she needs to grow up. You obviously enable your Wife as well. This woman is a liar plain and simple. I think you're reading into it way too much. You said a whole lot for someone who is not a professional. No one is blaming her for being a child abuse victim. We are blaming her for being a damn liar and thief. I was abused as a child and I'm not a liar nor a thief. That is just an excuse for bad behavior.
@EndoExcisionАй бұрын
“There’s no one coming to save you here.” This is why Ramit will always have what Ramsey and Hammer will dream of. The ability to tell the truth with compassion and respect the dignity of the person hearing it. Bravo. You’re a good soul.
@ST-wo3uwАй бұрын
That comment was spot on by Ramit. Nothing changes until people take control of and responsibility for their own money habits.
@pchygrl17Ай бұрын
👏👏👏
@Mimi-fe2gmАй бұрын
Thank you!! Yes, totally agree.
@minoozolala13 күн бұрын
"The ability to tell the truth with compassion and respect the dignity of the person hearing it" - exactly what Ramsey does.
@EndoExcision13 күн бұрын
@ hard disagree. Ramsay is too often patronizing and doesn’t help people understand why something is wrong or counter productive. Trust Jesus and do what I say isn’t respect or dignity, that’s just demanding obedience.
@zurijones8715Ай бұрын
Matt actually concerns me more than her. What is his upbringing that makes him stay with a woman that steals a substantial amount of money from him? At his income level, $5,000 probably took him a while to save, so him to just be “disappointed” is unsettling. Not to mention it doesn’t sound like there’s any interest/ intention of paying him back. She actually doubles down and asks him about a ring! I get that he loves her, but he is too calm about the extra $100k debt he didn’t know about. Also for him to just automatically assume responsibility for $230k debt… Ramit had to point out to him that the debt wasn’t his to pay off!! I’m so glad he moved back home.
@KayRay1966Ай бұрын
I was so freaked out when he talked about going to a jewelry store for motivation for her. If her motivation is only so that she can marry him, then what motivates her after that? And after children are in the mix? I'm sorry, Ramit, you were way to soft on her. She's a manipulator and you didn't call it out.
@TrudloopsАй бұрын
Matt seems like he put her on probation because of the theft. I don't understand how they are still together. Michelle should have offered to repay him. What are her morals, that she could take her boyfriends money without asking? Some serious issues here.
@OMGXBELLAАй бұрын
Red flags !! Took the money. What ? This is bigger than money now it’s trust !
@Tiffany-lo6hcАй бұрын
@@Trudloops I was shook. I was like oh wow, took money from his safe, that's bad ... Wait, $5000?!?!?!? I've never even taken a $20 from my now-husband's wallet without telling him, and I'm sure the opposite is true of him. I have a small business on the side that pays cash and it struck me one day that I just straight had $600 lying on the dresser and I wasn't worried at ALL that some would go missing. Growing up I always had to hide any money I got from my mom. I started trying to save cash in an envelope system at age 13, saving my lunch money for a car at 16, helping pay rent if my parents ever divorced, stuff like that, and goddammit she always found them and raided them for beer money. The feeling of trusting someone around money for the first time is an unspeakable relief. Matt is a great catch himself, I hope he gets that feeling someday!
@Dar843Ай бұрын
My father is like this. He will shake his head in shame at the things mother does but he doesn't say anything just to keep the peace. She does crazy or super sabotaging acts and he will just adjust HIS behavior to prevent drama. Its infuriating. He will just justify it as "be respectful to your mother"...but he won't divorce her because that's wrong and a man is suppose to care for a woman and all that...but also, he doesn't trust her at all. At this point in life, its very VERY limited the things she has access or control to that he hasn't already taken full control over....he will never call her out on her bs, he just avoids all talk about her actions. Did I mention its infuriating.
@KiltBill2Ай бұрын
I really appreciated the way you called her out on her fake "I wouldn't marry me" BS. It is a manipulative tactic to guilt Matt into alleviating guilt, when its a deflection tactic.
@mykidsaresupercuteАй бұрын
And her crocodile tears... I hope he wakes up. She stole from him!
@jessicacraig8514Ай бұрын
I agree that it’s ultimately manipulative but it really can be so subconscious for people, not necessarily malicious. Realizing how much my parents have done that to me as I get older. I really couldn’t even see it.
@himy82Ай бұрын
If she can steal from her boyfriend and not think twice, makes me think that she really did forge her dad's signature. She is manipulative and doesn't even know it.
@feliciawilliams572029 күн бұрын
@@KiltBill2 Ramit was soft on her 🤨
@KiltBill228 күн бұрын
@feliciawilliams5720 he's not Hammer ir a relationship ship coach. It's not his style or right to go in hard oncharecter flaws.
@aas55Ай бұрын
She puts her supposedly abusive family over him? She stole money from him? He signed a personal loan for her, and she did nothing to change her behavior? Dude, run.
@TiredmumАй бұрын
Tbf with the father if the mother is constantly over spending and putting them in debts and also hiding debts then it would be a good idea to put the brakes on her somehow. If not, you'd lose everything. Also if daughter is following her path then yes I'd try there too.
@stop08it28 күн бұрын
He’s not going anywhere
@Thenandagain28 күн бұрын
@@stop08it Nope. And at 50 he will realize he wasted his life on someone who didn't care about him. You don't steal from people you care about.
@dmp60811 күн бұрын
I've lived this with a family member before and IT NEVER ENDS!!!! Tears and anger are used to manipulate.
@costaricanmohicanАй бұрын
I appreciate the new trend on this channel. Couples in realistic money scenarios not just people with five million dollars and afraid to spend it
@Thenandagain27 күн бұрын
Yes? I'm really irritated by this episode. I feel like I just watched a guy manipulated into staying in an abusive relationship. Is stealing 5k from your boyfriends safe realistic? I think that is pretty unusual.
@LDM8058 күн бұрын
@@Thenandagainvery unusual.
@ebullock1000Ай бұрын
He needs to run. She’s manipulating this entire situation. No matter what childhood you had or your money psychology, stealing is stealing.
@PhonkEcho22 күн бұрын
Even after stealing she wants her boyfriend to feel bad for her...little crocodile tears
@divinbebelakashala2773Ай бұрын
Gender roles are very real, because we wouldn't give so much mercy to a guy that stole $5k from his gf.
@PlayingwithproxiesАй бұрын
I feel like that was a good time for him to cut his losses and leave. Don’t fall into a sunk cost fallacy
@neisciАй бұрын
No one is giving this thief any shred of grace. Read the comments.
@Thenandagain28 күн бұрын
I feel this comment. You are right. She's somewhat good looking and young as well. Pretty privilege is real. P.S. No one goes from zero to stealing 5000 from a loved one. This isn't the first time she's taken money if she is honest.
@Thenandagain28 күн бұрын
@@Playingwithproxies I think he's kind of enjoying playing hero. It's not all sunk cost.
@divinbebelakashala277328 күн бұрын
@@neisci The host barely brushed over it. The host would have called out any guy that was stealing and honestly, most women would have dumped a guy stealing from them.
@aprilstiek7430Ай бұрын
She didn’t borrow $100 and forget to pay it back. She stole $5000 cash from his SAFE. She wasn’t even working at the time so how could she say that she could put it back before he found out. Complete deceit. She said twice that she wanted to pay him back which is only right. But, if she really felt sorry, she wouldn’t be spending almost $1000 out to eat and $700 in clothes PER MONTH. I hope she gets some fire under her but I don’t see it from these follow ups.
@dkayokАй бұрын
Why wouldn't her first priority be to pay back the 5k?
@aprilstiek7430Ай бұрын
@@dkayok Exactly. Her actions speak volumes. If she was really sorry, paying it back would have been her top priority.
@rainetravels1410Ай бұрын
@aprilstiek7430 she's not sorry. She just got caught is all. She needs to go return some of the stuff that she bought recently and hand him the money to prove.Now she's not a big, fat liar.😮
@essbenitaАй бұрын
She'd make them go bankrupt and lose the house if they bought one. So much financial infidelity
@mykidsaresupercuteАй бұрын
And total crocodile tears. He needs to move on from her or his life will end in disaster. If she can steal, lie, and manipulate, she can cheat someday too. I feel bad for this guy.
@crose9613Ай бұрын
This is so much different than Caleb Hammer. Glad I found this
@GibblesnycАй бұрын
Same. I used to watch Caleb but he is a poor communicator and doesn't ever actually ever help anyone. I prefer Ramit's approach of understanding how And why people have financial struggles.
@laundrygoddess4Ай бұрын
@@Gibblesnyc I'm not a fan of Caleb's style but his follows up's show he does make a difference. Romain Faure is also excellent to watch. He's similar style to ramit but also works with singles
@liam1902Ай бұрын
I've been following Caleb since near the beginning and he's now leaned into the type of content that guarantees massive views (negativity, drama, calling people out, clickbait titles, yelling/screaming, etc.) cause it ends up being a win-win since it makes Caleb an insane amount of money while also reaching a huge audience where it'll help others. With all that being said, I stopped watching Caleb for that reason. His older content was actually REALLY helpful cause it was more realistic people whereas today it's all people with so much drama. His channel is now more people laughing at or feeling bad for the guest being audited. A good alternative to Caleb is Romain Faure but his content is honest and helpful so not sure when he'll eventually get a huge following since his videos don't go viral.
@EmmereАй бұрын
Caleb treats his guests so disrespectfully I had to unsubscribe a while back. Ramit is truly a breath of fresh air from the finance KZbinrs.
@egge5027Ай бұрын
@@EmmereRamit been around way longer thoooo.
@SamMKKKАй бұрын
Hold on. You’re telling me she purposefully omitted her debt in the CSP, only added it after the man was done reviewing it? Ma’am 😭
@DonaldVinson-p2fАй бұрын
😂
@danayarbrough1494Ай бұрын
A whole mess😢
@HyperFocusedNinjaАй бұрын
My favourite in person studio set up so far Ramit, might have nailed it this time!
@rebvanwinkelstein2578Ай бұрын
I agree, but the lampshade on the left side needs to be fixed to please my inner monk 😂
@wendyp3613Ай бұрын
YES!!!!
@ebarrett713Ай бұрын
Agreed, I preferred the zooms until this one
@MsJ.TeacherToTech28 күн бұрын
Also, that huge long microphone 🎤 in front of Remit 😮
@dianacagle2545Ай бұрын
He needs individual therapy, not just couples therapy. I’m so scared for him in this relationship. She needs to do a permanent 180 before they can have a good life together.
@MissGirl1450Ай бұрын
Me too. I wonder if he was or is in an abusive relationship. His absolute fear or reluctance to upset her is concerning.
@carynmills5922Ай бұрын
A 180 change still isn't going to solve her issues: mentally, spiritually, or financially. He needs to cut bait and run away from this situation-ship. There's no real love here to build a family upon. He'll continue to see that same crazy family behavior in the next generation.
@ChapstickChunxАй бұрын
He needs to just get out. Period. There’s no saving her.
@truthtelleranonАй бұрын
good life together? this “relationship” is *finished*
@tannerdriscoll6699Ай бұрын
She scares me, so much manipulation, self loathing, and self sabotage, I have no idea what to trust she’s saying
@amandawithlov3908Ай бұрын
I felt manipulation as well. Which explains why her boyfriend is so passive, he has literally no spine. She just kept calling herself worthless and disgusting but despite those intense feelings she had absolutely no plan.
@KiltBill2Ай бұрын
@@amandawithlov3908 yeah, but thankfully Rammit called her on it. That she says this so that her BF stops being justifiably angry at her, and has to console her, instead.
@sarellooАй бұрын
Her behavior is pretty in line with an addict's. The lying, stealing to support her habits, compromising her relationships.
@carynmills5922Ай бұрын
@@sarelloo you might be right. Maybe not her own but medical pros have a ton of addiction issues. Possibly in her family? Either way, hers is a terrible way to live. I hope Matt reconsiders marriage. He is a great place with people who love him. He needs to cut is loses and move on.
@sarellooАй бұрын
@carynmills5922 for sure, this is a vast generalization, but being a nurse is a lot like being a server. Aptitude for high stress, chaotic environment paired with high emotionality with caring for people, serving people, etc. The venn diagram is pretty overlapping with addictive traits.
@Tammy.822Ай бұрын
He's so, SO passive. Almost to the point where I wanted to poke him and shout "wake up, say something!" I don't understand cosigning a loan for someone without having a clear picture about their finances. She even changed the CSP after he looked at it and he just shrugs it off. Wow.
@lowlowseeseeАй бұрын
you dont understand it because you may not know anything about cptsd. these people are damaged mentally
@clobrintimeАй бұрын
hes a simp :p
@evan7476Ай бұрын
what do you mean "I thought it was $100", did you NOT read the title of the video???
@fb625Ай бұрын
@@evan7476😂
@candy2325Ай бұрын
@@evan7476that’s so dramatic and nonsensical. The point still stands: the woman stole money from her partner
@qcsptАй бұрын
Wow, she straight up stole from him. I was devastated when my high school friend stole money from me; I can't imagine the pain, violation, and breach of trust from a lover. I hope Matt gets individual therapy and recognizes his worth.
@Camie202329 күн бұрын
Same. And it was $300.
@Thenandagain28 күн бұрын
Am I the only person who thinks this probably isn't her first time? 5k is a felony amount of money to steal.
@aqueoushumorАй бұрын
This was a hard listen. I hope Matt sees the red flags. Even on the podcast, she was not honest. (Ramit asked if she said something when Matt discovered money was missing. She said yes. Ramit asked her what she said, and she said there was just silence.) The theft, the hiding of debt and spending, being accused of forgery (which I'm inclined to believe after the other deceitfulness she admits to), the shifting of blame to others, and acting super apologetic while not actually changing her bad behavior. It would be too much for me. If i were him, I would freeze my credit, pay off the $15k cosigned loan, and move on.
@hspdАй бұрын
Another thing I noticed is that she said she dide everything at home, did all the cooking etc. But then later, she said she ordered a lot of ubereats. So which is it? There are a lot of inconsistencies in her story. I would not trust someone like this.
@TheDoggmomАй бұрын
This is off base probably, but why does her stay at home mother not cook?
@neisciАй бұрын
She's a liar.
@mustjustbe26 күн бұрын
I'm not sure what happened. But someone controlling their spouses excessive spending isn't just cosigning a large loan. Also I don't like assuming the father is in the wrong controlling the spending. If mom was hiding debt the daughter clearly picked up on her financial illiteracy not from the father. Ramit may have missed it, or knew she would become argumentative.
@mo148221 күн бұрын
@@hspd This was my question as well!
@Santoskarl21 күн бұрын
This is so refreshing. No high pitched yelling involved.
@Shampy-x8wАй бұрын
Ramit big cuzzo, you killed this one. You say things that are on the audience mind, tough questions. I think the guests and the audience got a lot out of this.
@PhonkEcho22 күн бұрын
Should have told the guy to walk away from this red flag woman!
@evetong5302Ай бұрын
It seems like her admitting to all her wrong doings and guilt and shame verbally is a defense mechanism so others cannot blame her more. Her attitude did not appear to actually want to solve the problem with her own effort. She’s just worried her bf, her last lifeline, would leave her. The bf also needs to be more assertive and speak up about his expectations and boundaries. Stealing is never acceptable in any kind of relationship.
@MarshalNey13Ай бұрын
I noticed that too. The admissions and confessions seemed performative. My guess is that this whole thing is just part of a long running cycle where she steals, spends, begs for forgiveness, promises to change then repeat.
@DraggonnyАй бұрын
@@MarshalNey13It's part of the "people pleasing". She's saying what others want to hear so they'll comfort her instead of being angry at her.
@MarshalNey13Ай бұрын
@@Draggonny when I think of “people pleasing” I think of a person who can’t say no to colleagues dumping work on them or someone who has trouble setting boundaries in a relationship. To be honest HE seems more like a hopeless people pleaser than her. With her, I just see a maladaptive response to self-destructive behavior at best…at worse, manipulative crocodile tears. IMO the antidote (if he wants to continue in this relationship) is hard boundaries. Cut up credit cards, full transparency, dramatic cuts wasteful spending, weekly check in meetings. Reach mutually shared financial goals through mutual austerity. There beauty and love in that.
@o0usf0oАй бұрын
@@evetong5302 what IF she chose to come clean with her debt on Ramits show bc it was public… thereby putting pressure on Matt to stay which her. He had no idea till they were both sitting in front of Ramit and would be compelled to be the “good guy” and accepting…
@michaelpeterson2024Ай бұрын
Their wedding vows Him: I will never be mad with you and never let you be upset Her: I will always let you pay for my problems, and try not to cheat on you anymore.
@AG-hl1niАй бұрын
BROTHER YOU GOTTA LEAVE HER
@yeeelwyАй бұрын
Matt is such a patient person, unrealistically.
@That_Stinger_GT5Ай бұрын
My guy needs to take the stolen money as a blessing and run for the hills. If he does still tackle this situation he better get a prenup and make sure her debt STAYS her debt
@Thenandagain28 күн бұрын
Won't cover debts she runs up during their marriage.
@shawnanapier845Ай бұрын
I hate to be so forward, but anyone who tells you they are “always taking care of everyone else” within minutes of beginning a conversation are typically the most self centered people. I have learned this is a manipulation tactic (or a severe lack of self awareness). I am not half way through the episode and I can see multiple inconsistencies in her narrative. I wish this couple well, but this gentleman may want to exercise a lot of caution as he continues this relationship.
@sihr07Ай бұрын
Fully agree, sadly we only learn this the hard way 😅
@TheSharmamАй бұрын
yes, it was too quick , and a martyr tactic, like, look at poor me taking care of everyone
@Camie202329 күн бұрын
It’s hard for mento even finish the episode. Soooo toxic and the guy just take it like ok ok
@matcha_mage28 күн бұрын
When Michelle said she's a people pleaser but Matt's like, "She says no to me easily" I just knew she was a red flag. She reminds me so much of my sister who *thinks* she does a lot for others but doesn't realize how much more other people do for her and accommodate her. The lack of self-awareness is alarming
@101289teutonicguy28 күн бұрын
Please please please google "codependent" and realize that it's different than narcissism.
@WTF-sh4isАй бұрын
She plays the poor hopeless victim role to Ramit but really she is the VILLAIN in this whole story!!! People who feel desperate will ALWAYS do desperate things! (Stealing $5k, forging signatures, etc)
@o0usf0oАй бұрын
Convincing her boyfriend to co-sign a loan!
@101289teutonicguy28 күн бұрын
She is a victim of child abuse. BOTH of her parents abused (and continue to abuse her) and you're calling her a villian. What does that make you?
@Thenandagain28 күн бұрын
@@101289teutonicguy Are you saying she didn't know stealing and forging was wrong because of child abuse?
@Thenandagain28 күн бұрын
She's backed into a corner so needs to come up with an excuse. I can verify that almost every criminal behaves this way with tears and excuses when they are finally caught. She can't be trusted with money is just the beginning. She can't be trusted with anything. No one steals 5k first time out of the gate. She's got some history somewhere if she were being honest.
@aas5528 күн бұрын
@@101289teutonicguyhow exactly did her parents abuse her? Her dad certainly made disparaging remarks, calling her a “brokie.” But she IS BROKE. We are also only hearing her side of events. And she’s already shown herself to be a dishonest thief, just in her interactions with her saint of a boyfriend.
@license2BortАй бұрын
Love the new setting and increased production value!
@mercheg.8397Ай бұрын
A bit hectic 😅
@zoraster3749Ай бұрын
So we’re just going to accept at face value that the dad, who is apparently very strategic and good with money, blindly co-signed on a loan from a woman who is a self admitted thief and liar? Forging a signature is more inline with her existing behavior. She resented her father’s control over their family, what better way to get back at him than to effectively steal from him while burying him in debt and controlling him. We don’t know what actually happened, it could be as she says, but she has zero credibility. You now have to always wonder if she’s telling the truth, not an ingredient that you want to bake into a marriage.
@lowlowseesee23 күн бұрын
faaacts
@dianeridgway8070Ай бұрын
I like how you show the csp figures at the outset. Thank you.
@KevintendoАй бұрын
Me too! Not only to give us more context, but also if we’re looking specifically for someone in a similar situation to us - or ready to watch the mega millionaires lol
@noname75013Ай бұрын
What is scary is that SHE is a nurse which requires good judgment and good character but she is neither of those things.
@toddw.8277Ай бұрын
Oh believe me a lot of really crappy people go into nursing for the money and schedule. My wife has had many down right evil coworkers. Sure made me a lot less trusting without asking questions.
@TheSharmamАй бұрын
well- she did not have money for renewing registration, so.... :|
@labruciaАй бұрын
As a nurse myself I cannot imagine spending 250k on loans. That like med school debt! CRAZY!!
@LL-pq5uoАй бұрын
Ramit mentioned she failed out the first time so she went back...
@mrs.quills7061Ай бұрын
That’s what I don’t understand either! I know going to be a doctor can be expensive, but a nurse? I wonder what school she went to or if she signed up for predatory loans.
@tracyaf6084Ай бұрын
Private nursing degrees are about 120k right now in California. My stepdaughter is going to such a school but paying more like 80k because she did prerequisites at community college.
@thestarriseshineАй бұрын
There are a lot of predatory private nursing colleges out there and if you don't hit certain metrics they fail you and make you start from scratch and pay all over again rather than letting you claim part credit for what you have completed already. It sounds like this was the case for her. Probably paid 120k for the original program she did and then 120k again after they failed out and she had to start over. I've also seen people get crazy assignments during school requiring short term rentals, super long commutes and other things that add to cost.
@ctyra1Ай бұрын
I was thinking the same thing! I know the cost of higher Ed is ridiculous, but people walk out with PhDs for less than a quarter mill
@uchewb3Ай бұрын
note: i haven’t finished the video. “she says no to me all the time.” with her family she doesn’t set boundaries and gets used for money and domestic labor. her fiancé makes her feel safe and comfortable. but what they’ve done is reverse the dynamic where she uses him and he struggles to set boundaries (why she stole from him). even when you love people you should be able to say no. i bet that when she first moved out from her family she felt free. free time, energy, and money. she didn’t have to say no over and over in daily interactions bc saying no to living with them is one decision. i think her fiancé (maybe subconsciously) wanted them to live with their families again bc she was stressing him out the same way. he doesn’t have to learn how to set real boundaries regularly with her if she doesn’t live with him. i think the $1200 they save making six figures is just the excuse.
@ST-wo3uwАй бұрын
Making two pancakes at home costs about 50 cents 🤦♀️ I'm floored by people draining their finances for Uber Eats.
@EvanKnightIsGoodАй бұрын
And they take no time to make, you could even premix the mix and just pour the batter and flip when you get home. Crazy.
@candy2325Ай бұрын
Seriously 😂 by the time they wait for their cold food they could have cooked and made it themselves
@kelly4618Ай бұрын
This is why everyone says the economy is bad... too much Uber eats and IPhones!
@carynmills5922Ай бұрын
What does she care? She doesn't see debt as a responsibility of her. She isn't paying it back. She will likely go bankrupt and take him down with her. It is a sickness. They're both ill but I think he can probably get well...if he gets out now.
@IWAC2013Ай бұрын
Or they can pick it up from the diner on the way home and spend 5 bucks or less
@joymelody4868Ай бұрын
I am a nurse and was like this before. I snapped on my debt when i worked 2 jobs and still had no savings. I finally stopped spending and started working nonstop. She has a huge shovel. She can pay it off in 2 to 3 yrs. Again she has to realize to get mad with her debt and tackle it immediately.
@davidbernalpianistaАй бұрын
Why do nurses spend big time?
@wandiam6635Ай бұрын
@@davidbernalpianistastress. Few jobs are as physically, emotionally, and mentally taxing all at once. Spending is a cheap dopamine fix, I suppose
@erin993Ай бұрын
@@davidbernalpianistanot all nurses spend big time. I think money philosophy plays a role. I’m a nurse and don’t struggle financially.
@joymelody4868Ай бұрын
Financial mindsets are shaped by pur experiences, environment, etc. But they are not permanent, its something you can change. I save but i dont save for the sake of money. I spend some the money i earn to travel and do the things i like. Why. Because one day i will be in that bed sick. And although i am saving to prptect my old age, i dont want to save for the sake of having tons of money so people can say i am wealthy. I save so i can do wjat i want so that when i get to that bed, i have as little regrets of living
@mirandawalker6600Ай бұрын
55:05 she's making him be her dad. Its almost like she wants him to punish her 🤔
@johnparker4484Ай бұрын
Love this in person format. I enjoy the zoom call Too, but I love the video quality here and the in-person dynamic.
@ricardograndtАй бұрын
This episode was great! It is a classic example that picking the right partner is so important and that just love is not enough. This woman is lucky that this guy puts up with her behavior. Sadly he has enabled her behavior and it will probably never stop in this situation.
@caitlynclark6916Ай бұрын
Side note but I really liked the intro and filming style this episode! Love that you try different styles and are receptive to audience input :)
@ihill6533Ай бұрын
Oh my. I don’t believe her. She stole from her boyfriend but you don’t think she is lying about the loans? Also, she did not spend $250,000 on her education that money also had to supporting her room/board, and lifestyle. Being a victim works for her. Very manipulative and it works.
@TheSharmamАй бұрын
yes, there was an earlier episode of Ramit's where someone with a large student load admitted that they used studend loan to live it up. at least she was v honest about it.
@o0usf0oАй бұрын
No one is talking about a major clue. She let her insurance laps and couldn’t register her car. She couldn’t do such a basic act to maintain a lifestyle. You literally need your car to keep your job! She says she takes care of her family but she can’t even drive to work without help 🙄. She’s got deep mental issues that can’t be cleaned up over night. Dude, now is the perfect time to run! She has no car and lives separate. Take the golden opportunity please!
@Natalie_11188Ай бұрын
Is that what actually happened or is that what she’s telling us? Sounds like a cover for something else? Unpaid tickets or an issue she doesn’t want to say online. Who doesn’t register their CAR to get to WORK?!! If you aren’t seriously ill or depressed, why would you let this happen?
@o0usf0oАй бұрын
@@Natalie_11188 who knows… there’s her side of the story and there’s the truth. Heck, could even have been a DUI
@PSmith-ie9jxАй бұрын
I haven't been this upset by a show in a long time. What the hell is wrong with Matt?!? I was hoping Ramit would shake him. Her little sad girl act is played out! She is holding back a pride smile (not an embarrassment smile). There's something concerning about her demeanor, she's a master manipulator and the boyfriend is a doormat. He wants to motivate her by going to a jewelry store after she stole the engagement ring savings, he doesn't stand a chance. * Also, nurses have access to patient's personal belongings. Her employer should review this video.
@h_tee61Ай бұрын
🐈
@carynmills5922Ай бұрын
Same. I was screaming no. She is sick!
@mayuri_mdkАй бұрын
I absolutely and completely agree! Micro expressions….. Look at her long enough and you CAN see the micro expressions. You do not need to be an expert to see through her BS.
@neisciАй бұрын
I am disappointed Ramit did not tell this man to take a break from this relationship while she works on herself. This is an abusive relationship. She's so manipulative and full of BS. Childhood trauma! She's a nurse, she would have no issues finding a therapist and work on her problems, it doesn't mean Matt should stick around.
@krissypearce612Ай бұрын
@@neisciI agree- Ramit enabled her manipulating behaviour and I really don’t think I can trust that he is doing this show to help people now. Its more about him looking good, competing with Caleb Hammer (but pretending like he’s not) and trying to act like a psychologist when he doesn’t have the training which is dangerous. He did nothing to acknowledge or call out her terrible behaviour, and he did nothing to help the situation. This woman is mean and selfish. I don’t believe at all that her dad is the horrible person she’s made him out to be. She wants people to feel sorry for her so that she can keep using them. Ive been listening to Ramit’s podcast since the beginning but I think this was the nail in the coffin for me. He’s given terrible guidance on so many of his episodes over the last year and is nothing like how he was in the beginning.
@TuBui2Ай бұрын
Perhaps I'm just jaded, but I instantly start doubting a person if their immediate reaction to tough questions is crying. More often than not, it's an emotional manipulation tactic.
@marissabraithwaite6425Ай бұрын
That's the manipulation.
@dmp60811 күн бұрын
She knows the words people want to hear about shame BUT she doesn't feel the words.
@ntimn8rАй бұрын
This episode is FANTASTIC! Everything about it, production quality, the guests, the issues, and the insights. Well done. I feel for Matt, but I have high hopes for them both.
@ritalally7018Ай бұрын
What a depressing episode and sorry but I don’t see her changing, if he was my son I would advise/beg him to end this relationship.
@i.medrano4976Ай бұрын
She stole $5k from him and has the audacity to ask for a ring. Hell no
@mariahsmom945710 күн бұрын
Also, scary that she is a nurse. Stealing money is stealing and immoral, lacking in integrity. Nurse without integrity- not the right job for her. She's awful and very concerning.
@tracyaf6084Ай бұрын
So many nurses struggle with finances, despite being able to make really good money. I used to be one of them. I’m finally getting my $hit together.
@GreengoldAlchemyАй бұрын
Why do you think they struggle with money?
@katherinealba6768Ай бұрын
I have noticed that about nurses, yes.
@boisabidoreen2351Ай бұрын
@@GreengoldAlchemythe ability to get endless overtime makes people overspend knowing that they will pick up shifts and pay for the expense. It doesn’t always turn out well and it is killing yourself for material things. I’m going to be a nurse soon and praying I won’t fall into that trap.
@tracyaf6084Ай бұрын
@@GreengoldAlchemy I think they also have a lot of codependency issues and attract users. I know so many nurses paying for family, husbands, boyfriends. I also think they use Shopping as a distraction and stress reliever.
@oscarrodriguez1068Ай бұрын
Mo money. Mo problems
@laurenlovesstoriesАй бұрын
This episode was so difficult. There’s so much going on and I hope they find a way to move forward. I kept getting distracted though by how nice this set is!! I want to live there, unironically.
@CambieSweetsАй бұрын
I know! I love the swivel chairs they’re sitting on.
@tomaszp2027Ай бұрын
Saying this once more: - any debt payments over minimums don't belong in fixed costs - pre-tax investments should be counted somewhere in the CSP
@o0usf0oАй бұрын
Exactly… there’s no clue to how much someone is putting in their 401k! Even just a line with percentage going to retirement would be nice.
@cutebubbles2007Ай бұрын
In the CSP version that i have, there is a line for pre-tax retirement savings and it is under the investments category... That's where i put my amount for my 401k
@lmespinosa7320Ай бұрын
Agree about debt payments over the minimum, those are in my guilt free spending because my rich life is being debt free! But if I needed to, I could go back down to the minimum in a pinch, so that's all that is in my fixed costs.
@aas55Ай бұрын
How it starts: “I feel like I have to take care of my mom and sister and be the adult.” How it ends: “I’m 33 living with my parents and they have to drive me to work because I lost my car registration because I didn’t pay my bills like an adult.”
@brnnmchllАй бұрын
How it started: I spend so much money buying groceries because I have to cook for my family all of the time. How it ends: I spend $209 a month on groceries and $906 on eating out
@brnnmchllАй бұрын
How it started: my dad accused me of forging his signature on a loan. How it's going: my boyfriend is disappointed in me for stealing $5000 from him
@aas55Ай бұрын
Unreal! I don’t like to assume the worst about the guests and think most people Ramit brings on are genuinely well meaning people who made a few mistakes. But she is probably the most manipulative and deceitful guest I’ve seen on this show. Ramit is a kind person but even he had to call BS on some of her claims.
@brnnmchllАй бұрын
@@aas55 I agree. Ultimately, this falls on Ramit and his team for posting this episode . The guest admits to being a thief and the audience can see that there are a lot of issues with both of them. The kindest thing Ramit could have done was to not air this interview at all. The truth is, some people steal and forge signatures and try to convince the world they are the victims.
@sienastevensАй бұрын
These takes sum up this episode perfectly 🤌🏽
@lifewiththesmoaks6982Ай бұрын
Matt working in finance was a huge shock 😮
@Edward-hn8edАй бұрын
I think it's ironic that she feels like a parent to her mom and sister when it seems like he's a parent to her.
@letsalltakeawalk6906Ай бұрын
I think that is exactly why she is seeking the parent dynamic from him, because her own parents neglected her in those aspects.
@VBoo459Ай бұрын
Exactly this. I parent my parents and sister YET I also need parenting from my husband (something I am improving). It’s a very typical dynamic to see tbh
@nikilucyАй бұрын
Yeah that’s usually the exact dynamic that creates this kind of situation. Unfortunately.
@fzeekybabyАй бұрын
He’s a grandparent
@KayRay1966Ай бұрын
I doubt very much that her description of her doing everything in the house is accurate. I mean, her Dad has to drive her everywhere. I think she is effective at telling herself stories.
@Michelgia523Ай бұрын
I think he enables her bad behavior. I think he needs to leave her and let her hit rock bottom so she is motivated to rebuild her life. She needs a stronger more supportive partner that holds her accountable.
@o0usf0oАй бұрын
He’s a push over… unfortunately he’s a source of income for her bad behavior.
@mzeye27 күн бұрын
Yes and he needs to not be codependent and set boundaries
@EmsFitVentureАй бұрын
I do not understand how shopping and spending money helps someone escape the fact that they do not have money. It would give me anxiety to unnecessarily buy things when I am already stressed about bills and money.
@aangitanoАй бұрын
I don’t understand how someone can shop so much they spend “x” number a month as a set budget. Seems so odd to me. Are people getting new clothes every month?
@nickybutt9733Ай бұрын
Quick dopamine hit, problem is they're always chasing it and can never finish
@bobjoe109Ай бұрын
Credit cards let you disconnect the things you buy from how much money you actually have at the time. Makes it easier to spend more.
@RealMuperSanАй бұрын
It’s a momentary dopamine hit. It’s a vicious circle.
@mangomadnnesssАй бұрын
Yes like omg how can you ignore.
@TonyCox1351Ай бұрын
Regarding the “forged” signature…the signature is irrelevant. It’s HER loan. A co-signer is for the bank to go after if she defaults. But having your dad co-sign doesn’t mean he’s morally responsible to pay for you. She’s confusing a co-signer with a parent plus loan.
@maureenviolaАй бұрын
Yes! Co-signer is a back-up for the lender. Doesn’t mean THEY owe it, the main borrower owes it. Not the co-signer. But lenders will go after him because she isn’t paying it
@dkayokАй бұрын
The father is legally responsible and the company will go after him if she does not pay. Also, until it is paid it can impact his financial status such as going for another loan.
@mc9105-p9bАй бұрын
Exactly! Seems like she is thinking that he should help her repay?
@eurofreeАй бұрын
If she defaults or pays her Bills late , doesn’t that also affect the Dad’s Credit Ratings ?
@neisciАй бұрын
If she defaults they'll go after him. He's still on the hook. I think she did forged his signature. She's do deceitful and manipulative. I wouldn't put past her.
@a.miller8316Ай бұрын
Are we sure she didn't forge her dad's signature? I mean she STOLE from her boyfriend... Lied to his face about filling out the CSP. Her dad said "do what you need to do" which to her meant sign my name... I don't know, I'm HIGHLY suspicious. Boyfriend needs to stop ignoring all these red flags. She's a liar with crocodile tears. I mean look at her body language... The pouty face when she has to have an adult conversation. Ugh. Do not marry her, please. She's not going to change.
@anjalianthony1656Ай бұрын
💯 agree! She is a walking red flag and he needs to stop being a doormat!
@kelly4618Ай бұрын
If she would steal from her boyfriend who she claims to love, then she's not above stealing from her dad who she doesn't even like.
@wayfinder816 күн бұрын
It's even more sus when she has 250k in debt, and apparently had to sign multiple times for different sums, and her dad supposedly doesn't remember any of those times? Ma'am, come on.
@aprilstiek7430Ай бұрын
I sure hope these two don’t have a wedding for 75k next year.
@PlayingwithproxiesАй бұрын
The divorce will only be faster if they spend that much on the wedding
@carynmills5922Ай бұрын
@@Playingwithproxies She will take him for every single penny because Matt will never protect himself or his assets. He needs help but I think he can be saved, from his self-destruction. She is sick.
@MissGirl1450Ай бұрын
I see a lot of people so focused on saving the relationship, they don't stop to ask if the relationship is actually healthy and if they're their most healthiest version in it. I say this for Michelle as much as Matt. If she could let go of the idea of staying together at all costs, she could be honest with him and let the chips fall where they may. This would enable her to be a more complete and happy individual and own her problems instead of avoiding them. The relationship would also have a better chance at survival. But even if it failed, she'd still be better off than she is now as she would be living her honest self. Matt is also so desperate to hold on that he's willing to bury his head in the sand. He's neither willing to let the relationship go nor commit to it fully (don't blame him). I'm not saying they need to break up, but they need to realize breaking up isn't the worst outcome. Them living this halfway life with all these secrets is a far worse outcome than being single. I'm really worried about Matt. He's very vulnerable to being taken advantage of. I'm glad he's at least not taken on her debt (yet).
@neisciАй бұрын
They have to heal separately before they get back together, if they ever do. Matt is too passive for everything that is doing around him.
@Asalent8 күн бұрын
At first I felt bad for her then i slowly realized she is using pity and guilt as a tool to continue her behavior.
@christy4451Ай бұрын
If love alone was enough to create a lifetime of happiness the divorce rates wouldn’t be so high; unfortunately, all these things matter too. I have empathy for her dad, working so hard to take care of a family and bailing mom out of credit card debt for Macy’s which isn’t a store of necessity. It actually doesn’t sound like the dad consented to those loans, and being called spoiled or broke isn’t the worst thing that most of us have heard. Maybe they were spoiled and maybe she actually is broke? But to steal $5000 from your boyfriend is mind blowing, especially when you make more money, but with that he remains quiet because he doesn’t want there to be a fight which means he also can’t have healthy communication and conflict with her. Regardless, I wish them both the best, individually or together.
@sophietan4394Ай бұрын
21:47 thanks for the reminder Ramit, I should go to sleep. Will finish this in the morning
@TiredmumАй бұрын
Matt needs to show this to his parents. I have little doubt they would tell him to run.
@andrewpaganАй бұрын
Probably one of the best episodes on the podcast. The last favorite one was the chick who said she'd rather have hardwood floors than her wedding. Stealing $5000 from your partner and still having the audacity to bring up "why aren't we engaged yet" is wild. It is theft. It is a breach of trust. It is wrong, yet she doesn't seem to let it phase her as she continues to rack up debt.
@eurofreeАй бұрын
I Remember that Episode! The Hardwood Floors! 😂
@kingsgoldАй бұрын
err, Im extremely hesitant to believe her story about not forging her father's signature on those student loans. She has a long history of hiding the truth from those around her out of embarrassment. Ramit, I would be extremely skeptical about her story. She needs lots and lots of mental help about her habits. More than what you can provide in your money session. Only way she can make her relationship work without him just giving up out of frustration and anger.
@sylsuthssАй бұрын
Thank you for highlighting this as I know sometimes I get accused of seeing the worst in folks. Her whole body language gave it away and Ramit saying more than once that why would her father accuse her of this, felt as he too was having trouble comprehend this circumstances.
@TonyCox1351Ай бұрын
I think the signature is largely irrelevant - it’s HER loan. A co-signer is for the bank, to go after if she defaults. Having a co-signer doesn’t mean her dad is morally responsible for the loan. This is just a narrative she’s concocted for herself to blame her lifetime of debt on
@saeedhossain6099Ай бұрын
there are people who lie, and then there are liars, and she is a straight up liar.
@mrs.quills7061Ай бұрын
Yeah when I was listening something felt off to me about this story. I do think she came from an abusive and neglectful household, but something told me she was lying in my gut. Idk if it was how her voice changed or what and now seeing the comments confirm it. It wasn’t even her stealing the money that made me feel that, it was a very casual and vague story.
@joshs239Ай бұрын
@@mrs.quills7061 You have to resign for loans every year. You don't take it all out at once. So the dad doesn't remember signing at least 4 different times for the loans. I call BS. Also, who doesn't quality for ANY government loans. They will give you SOMETHING. Fill out a FASFA.
@Nikcel72Ай бұрын
She stole from him. How does it work that he's still in this relationship? If or when she becomes his wife she has even more access to his resources. She needs deep therapy and a fiduciary.
@DRZLLZRDАй бұрын
Hearing her shows me how I am not as compassionate with myself. Like others I find myself judging her very harshly to what seems like a totally preventable situation. And as hard as I am on her, and though my situation is better, I also judge myself for not being where I’d like to be. Thank you for helping me notice and try to be better for my own peace.
@DraggonnyАй бұрын
Guilting yourself won't help you to get where you want to be. It leads to the kind of self-destructive, self-soothing behaviour that this woman is exhibiting. Don't look back unless it's to congratulate yourself on how far you've come. Look forwards and make a plan on how you will get to where you want to be. The lost time and missed opportunities are gone. You can't fix them. Focus on what you can do today, tomorrow, and every month from now.
@educatedwanderer9293Ай бұрын
My wife (both of us are RN's) and we had similar issues when we were younger. My wife is very frugal and can find a good deal on anything we are needing however. She just never knew how to follow a budget. I took over the budget and we began investing and saving. We talked about finances for both of us, and paid off any outstanding debt which ended up being $35k paid off. Thirty years later we are on track to retire, house paid off, and are debt free other than a car loan about every 10 years. We definitely know how to work together now that we have systems in place.
@nibpickyАй бұрын
The audio quality of in-person is so much better! A few previous episodes with cheap computer microphones was so hard to listen to. Nice work guys.
@randomsarcasm2022Ай бұрын
She’s extraordinarily manipulative. Stealing is a very antisocial behavior.
@youarenotthisbody6017Ай бұрын
I don't believe her on how she painted her father's character. I wish her father was here to clarify things. Somehow, I feel she's lying or at least hiding some important details.
@navysubwife85Ай бұрын
I’m a nurse. How the F did she spend 250k on becoming a nurse? Even with a bachelors and masters you can do that for less then 100k.
@Thenandagain28 күн бұрын
You don't. She's lying.
@justalittledangerous7 күн бұрын
If she went to a private school, it’s about 60k a year over 4 years plus room and board expenses.
@hannahoconnell7255Ай бұрын
Great episode Ramit! Big thanks to Michelle for being so vulnerable-I think what she showcased is a very relatable example of the impact that shame can have on our finances. Great work Ramit working on getting this couple to identify habits that don’t serve them and moving them towards an actionable plan for change. You got this Michelle-we’re rooting for you!
@bradman4399Ай бұрын
"Did you say anything?" "Yeah" "What did you say?" "There was a lot of silence" Oooookay
@noname75013Ай бұрын
She is so full of crap.. "i dont feel worthy... im a people pleaser.... " if she steals she is self entitled.
@abigaildumo2255Ай бұрын
He didn’t react angrily enough for me after she stole from him and kept her finances from him. It’s also terrible dynamics for him to keep enabling her without any consequences. He deserves better, someone who wouldn’t steal and lie to him but for that he would need a back bone.
@mariahsmom945710 күн бұрын
Ramit doesn't seem to get that he is being lied to and manipulated, either. She is absolutely spinning stories about her parents and everything else. It's wild that no one is catching on.
@shawnanapier8452 күн бұрын
@@mariahsmom9457 I completely agree, which really surprised me. Ramit is an intelligent person, but I am not sure his take about her parents was fair. She is “taking care of everyone else”, but she is ordering food for herself because her mom didn’t cook??? And she is being driven to work by a parent when she is in her 30s bc she allowed her registration to lapse??? She “thinks” she remembers her dad signing for that loan? Her language and behavior is manipulative. I am sure her dad did say some harsh things, but he also allowed his adult daughter to move back in, even after he believes she forged his signature on six figures of debt.
@blackshadowghoster01Ай бұрын
I just listened to this. I’m more of a Dave Ramsey listener but will turn on this podcast. This whole episode pissed me off! Who pays $200k for nursing school!!! Who’s the doctor?? Her boyfriend has no boundaries and has no backbone. Collectively they owe an entire house value in debt. 260k is a house in my area. She wants to play victim on the entire call. He needs to put his foot down. Either she gets on a budget and increase the money that she pays on her debts monthly or he’s out. For a finance guy you’d think he’d want to be involved to help her analyze and come up with a strategy. You moved out of a $650 apartment because it cost too much? Doesn’t pass the sniff test. Her plan is to get married and pregnant so this debt is now his problem. Sorry, but they shouldn’t get married. If she was gung-ho and ready to attack the debt this entire conversation would have been different.
@TheSharmamАй бұрын
but why do you think they moved out? i think they are not being honest. I think he gave her the ultimatum and she doing this dog and pony show singing up for Ramit's show to show the BF that she wants to clean up her act. the moment they are married, she will be back to spend spend.
@blackshadowghoster01Ай бұрын
@@TheSharmam they move back to each parents house in order to avoid $300 dollars of rent. I don’t buy it. If they had their own place they would be living together doing chores, hanging out. I didn’t mention it earlier but she 100% forged the paperwork. This is the same woman that stole $5k out of her boyfriend’s safe (that he was saving to buy her a wedding ring!!). He should leave her now. They also don’t think they mentioned car debt. My hunch is she’s driving around in a new/newish car with a large monthly payment.
@wandiam6635Ай бұрын
@@TheSharmamwhen you consider how emotionally charged her letter to the show was you might be in to something
@ejz95Ай бұрын
Yeah no she definitely forged his signature If hes as smart as she says he is,then he most definitely wouldn’t have co-signed a terrible loan And for her to steal 5k from her boyfriend under the guise of ill put it back without him knowing without her having a job is crazy She starts to cry when she has to admit what shes done Dont cry,you weren’t crying when you took the money.Your crying cause you got caught
@littlebrothermoneywithmich6178Ай бұрын
Agreed. Everything she said confirmed that the father is smart with money and she is reckless and sometimes very deceptive.
@laurentan480Ай бұрын
33 should have a bit more self control and self awareness. The stealing would be a deal breaker for me. $5k. I wouldn’t forgive $100.00. And co-signing is her way to keep him close. Saying that, I hope she wakes up.
@musiclover-71Ай бұрын
I tried to feel sorry for Michelle, but I just feel she is living in the victim mentality. If you can take money from your partner and not tell them. Then when it gets down to her choices, she says she doesn't know why she does it. She acts like she has no control over it. I feel like here emotions were more about having herself exposed and not actually her situation. I hope Matt can create boundaries and give Michelle time to prove that she can take control of and get out of the victim mind set. If not, this relationship will forever struggle.
@saeedhossain6099Ай бұрын
@@musiclover-71 she's victim presenting, frankly it's a con artists method for garning sympathy and deflecting. Matt is a mark, not a partner.
@joycef8443Ай бұрын
The $750 a month for clothes….as a nurse? How many sets of scrubs does she need…some hospitals provide your scrubs, you just turn the soiled ones in, get clean ones, all on the honor system.
@matkrekАй бұрын
She aint buyinh scrubs…
@maureenviolaАй бұрын
Buying the latest jeans and sweaters not work scrubs
@DraggonnyАй бұрын
If I was spending that much every month on clothes that would mean I'd be wearing brand new clothes every day and only repeating my shoes. So either she refuses to do laundry and bins her clothes every night before bed or she's buying designer clothes that she barely gets a chance to wear outside of work.
@veri.contraryАй бұрын
i struggled with talking finances w my partner early in our relationship, i was going into debt bc i didn’t want him to know (shame) or feel like he had to help me (pride/shame). i made those decisions internally but the whole time he was willing to do anything for me if i’d just TALKED TO HIM HONESTLY. it’s been years since and we’re completely open communication wise, and wouldn’t have made it through better people otherwise. i definitely understand why money is one of the biggest relationship killers 😅
@maureenviolaАй бұрын
She’s an addict who is self-soothing from trauma by having others care for her - delivery food - and shopping makes her feel delusionally powerful - can swipe in the moment. It’s a common combination (eating and shopping) maybe not as devastating as drinking alcohol or gambling but slowly destroying her life. She needs therapy to deal with her childhood trauma or she’ll keep self-soothing at the detriment of her life and this relationship.
@DraggonnyАй бұрын
I'd say it is as devastating as gambling. Why is wasting $24 on getting pancakes delivered to her house any better than wasting $24 dollars on lottery tickets? At least the gambling is done in the hope of bringing in more money. Either way you're left with less money than you started with and nothing to show for it. She doesn't even need to make pancakes from scratch or from a mix, you can buy pancakes from the supermarket and heat them up in the microwave. Girl is too lazy to microwave a pancake yet too proud to eat them cold.
@randombullifyАй бұрын
Last comment at the end of the episode "I think I may take her to a jewelry store so she can get motivated" he is going to be kicking himself in 15 years when he realizes how much of a doormat he is being. Oof. - Signed, A recovering doormat
@candy2325Ай бұрын
THIS 😂
@o0usf0oАй бұрын
Relationships take experience as well. He needs to toughen up! I’m pretty passive in relationships especially bc my job is demanding. Over time, I have learned to draw lines
@afunlivelylifeАй бұрын
How is this a healthy relationship?! He lent her money for debt consolidation and has no idea where the money went. She stole from him, and herself because he wanted to use money for a ring. He needs therapy as to why this is acceptable behavior to him. The student loan is her debt. I don’t trust the narrative she is spinning about her Dad. Her first goal is to tackle her own debt and pay off debt. His goal should be therapy to understand why he is accepting this behavior from her.
@mwise9435Ай бұрын
I don't know how this wasn't a major point. It's not about the $5k (but that's important too), the $15k was another chunk of money that she's apparently stolen. If it wasn't used for what she said it was for... that's effectively what happened.
@RB-gq2zyАй бұрын
Her Dining Out / Uber Eats category is $960/mo yet she says she is always the one to buy groceries and cook for her mom and sister yet that category is only $209/mo. Confused!
@EllysaE10 күн бұрын
Ramit, this one is beyond you. This woman needs to GROW UP! take resposibility for your life and tell the truth!
@amandawithlov3908Ай бұрын
I'm also a nurse (but in grad school) and will owe around $200k as well. I let my current boyfriend know this is what I'll bring to the table, so that he's fully prepared. When I asked him how he felt about that he said he wasn't worried because he knows I'll pay it off quickly. And he's write. I have an entire excel spreadsheet with a 24 month repayment plan. I plan on working OT or getting a second job.
@MaskiBeatsАй бұрын
The new format is awesome. Great job Ramit
@burkester1045Ай бұрын
She is right. Dude needs to wake up. There are lots of women that don't make you feel like you're swimming in the ocean with a weight vest on.
@minimel_vantastic_travelАй бұрын
Nobody’s coming to save you is the best statement yet! She is in denial and no plan on how to change keep blaming and no action or even a sense of willingness to change and make a difference 🤦♀️, it’s like she is waiting for someone to spoon feed her every step of the way on what do to 🤦♀️
@PSmith-ie9jxАй бұрын
So she essentially admitted to committing a felony, and all he says is "I'm disappointed"?? They both need to see therapists, and he should press charges, she's not just irresponsible, she is a thief.
@TiredmumАй бұрын
He also has proof right here of her crime.
@PSmith-ie9jxАй бұрын
This guy is going to let himself be robbed blind. He's not safe with her in the home. But she's pretty so he'll likely lose more.
@EtherBunny-z7kАй бұрын
My dude, the red flags are flying. These two need loads of counseling before they even think about getting married (mostly her, but some together as well). …and if he decides to go through with it, a prenup.
@NickiBluIsАй бұрын
This was a tough episode. Big problems and no easy solutions. I do wish Ramit had encouraged them to make at least one numbers-based decision on camera. It was weird to see the episode end with no changes to the CSP. Ramit told her to make a plan but why not start now? We see retirement calculations on here all the time; would a debt payoff calculation be too depressing to show?
@nikilucyАй бұрын
I felt that too. Would have loved to see some solid calculations like normal.
@EmmereАй бұрын
This episode is scary to watch. Idk if Ramit is just that great of a guy that he can’t tell when these guests are being manipulative, or that he overlooks it because he’s not a licensed therapist, but this girl screams red flags. She made her father a villain because he’s not there to defend himself. But I refuse to believe a parent would make up a lie about co-signing a loan. She stole from her boyfriend. Lied about her debt. And wasn’t forthcoming even while doing the CSP. I wish them the best, but Matt should think long and hard what he’s attaching himself too.
@jenbar308Ай бұрын
I mean, it may be true about her track record and the signing of the loan...but at the same time, there are parents who actually abuse or kill their children, so forging a document is not out of the realm of possibility.
@ad2094Ай бұрын
I think at the end of the day it doesn't matter, she is still responsible for it. Nothing productive is gained from Ramit insisting or doubting her version of events. What's the plan to pay it down?
@wandiam6635Ай бұрын
Uhh Idk…I wouldn’t jump that far, financial abuse is more common than most think. I’m first gen and have seen the same dynamic with a providing father amongst many friends. If anything, it explains the patterns she’s recreating. But it definitely doesn’t excuse her behavior.
@anew5537Ай бұрын
Also the boyfriend also co-signed a loan for her for $15,000... In addition to the $5,000. This patience and calm he has managed to be. I do hope that they get counseling before moving forward because these two incidents are indicative of deep problems.
@Hp31242Ай бұрын
She probably walks around like she has money. Maybe this is the first time Matt realizes she’s this broke (hence her hiding the CSP). That would really change my perspective on someone who flashes their spending in front of everyone. I hope Matt sees the light and moves on. She has some personal issues to work through.
@saeedhossain6099Ай бұрын
19:38 so many story inconsistencies, she feeds and is responsible for her mom and sister, but shes ordering in food ...... maybe Ramit has a kink where he likes to be lied to his face......
@saeedhossain6099Ай бұрын
27:26 oh the tears, the she's cornered, got caught and out comes the waterworks.
@sarellooАй бұрын
I flagged that inconsistency too
@mo148221 күн бұрын
😂😂😂😂
@MistaRowlandАй бұрын
I hate to say this, but when she discusses how disconnected her dad was and how he told her to figure school out, it sounds like she’s defending (potentially) forging his signature. One of the toughest eps of this show yet. Good luck to them both.
@marleygirl06Ай бұрын
A thief?!?! To contemplate marriage and children with a person with such a lack of moral fiber is insane. I hope he develops a sense of self-preservation and makes his exit.
@justgaming6245Ай бұрын
Dude is a doormat , if he marries her his life is over.
@WorstDruidEUАй бұрын
@@justgaming6245 Over in what sense?
@george-ng5gj25 күн бұрын
“Do you trust her?” “Like if I had a safe? No”. 😂
@melhoman8302Ай бұрын
Yeahhh..no. i get that she is sorry but there is no behavior change and she stole from him. She has no action and intention or resolve to fix it. This guy needs to step away...there is no positive way out.
@baywest27 күн бұрын
Hey Ramit, i just have to let you know. Its 3am right now on a weekday. I skipped lunch and gorged myself on dinner before i went to bed and opened up the apps on my phone. I got to the 21min mark on your video about the guy who would also do the same thing as me because they didnt get enough sleep. The lesson couldnt be clearer im turing off my phone and going to bed now and will finish this video tomorrow. This hit wayyy to close to home