I spent $30k behind my husband's back

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[@nw8000]

A woman that does that to her husband does not respect him

[@et5895]

Exactly. I don't think she respects him at all. Not even a little. 18 years and you secretly spend 30,000 in A year? Are you kidding me? I would ask to talk to her husband and tell him to leave her immediately. No excuses for that. At all.

[@michelleowenwest4249]

It’s not always about respect. My mother spent secret amounts like that I several times as I grew up. For her, it was much more about maturity and knowing that daddy would bail her out every time. She has always had the me-centric world view of a child, and she’s surrounded herself with people who protect that view. It’s probably the biggest reason I’m so transparent and deliberate with money.

[@chrisludwig9783]

Michelle Owen West she didn't respect her dad. safe to say respect and maturity

[@MarcusKiner]

Michelle Owen West maturity and respect are not mutually exclusive.

[@walkernick86]

You clearly don’t have a clue what you are talking about! So an alcoholic doesn’t respect their family? These are deep physiological issues that need to be worked on! I am sure she does respect him and she probably feels extremely guilty about what she has done. She needs help and support!

[@MsYayMusic]

Strike 1 - Spending 30 THOUSAND DOLLARS behind my back. Strike 2 - Not telling me Strike 3 - Spending your paychecks on frivolous things and only paying the minimum on the debt

[@MsYayMusic]

+Pooh Bear I maybe could have got passed the 30k if it was due to depression from the miscarriage. However, still being irresponsible is what would be the nail in the coffin. You already broke my trust, now you are breaking my faith in you to be a responsible adult.

[@blackworldtraveler3711]

+BlueJuniper Indeed.

[@lookatthis8455]

Honestly how blind would you have to be to not see that the spouse is bringing goods into the house and not ask the question of where she got it or how much it costs. It's a failure on both parts. No, he shouldn't be a parent minding every dollar that is spent but how did she hide it for so long? didn't ask to see the bills, new credit card bills are showing up and not questioning about them? Marriage is a team thing if you are not invested enough to pay attention to what is going on around you you shouldn't EVER get married. Just my two cents.

[@rector559]

+Kevin Phillips - She might not have bought stuff for herself. Maybe she bought for others, or maybe it was massages and spas and non-goods spending. She sounds like an idiot to me.

[@cecimigr20]

Eric Absolutely, some people can't think past the obvious..lol

[@Sam-dc9bg]

Dave, how can you conclude that the man is not handling this well if you have only heard her side of the story.

[@Phyoomz]

Because that's clearly all he had to work with. lol duh!

[@z040880]

Because Dave is a simp

[@samh2023]

That's just because the husband did not want to go through FPU. Dave hates it when people aren't giving him money.

[@evenbiggeral5089]

This person saying casually “I have no idea” says it all. The husband has been supporting her with the household expenses and giving her a big chance. He is standing at the doorway ready to bail, and this phone call to Dave Ramsey will be the tipping point. Wow.

[@816928]

because he is an idiot. he is a brand now and avoids cancellation at all costs.

[@annalee3216]

I'm confused by Dave's response here. Why not take FPU herself and slowly pay off the debt as a way to prove to her husband that she can make a change? I think that would be the best way to earn back her husband's trust.

[@amyrussell860]

Dave does not recommend 1 partner only taking FPU. It works best if a couple takes it together and both are on board. If she was unmarried she could take it on her own. The way I see this is that she is trying to find an easy way out and there isnt one. Facing the person staring back at you from the mirror and being willing to deal with that person in an honest manner is one of the hardest things anyone can do. I've done it, and at times I still have to when a specific issue comes up. Believe me when I say this, its tough.

[@scottwall8419]

@@amyrussell860 I dont understand why the lady is even asking if she should take a class that helps her become more responsible. And why is dave saying thays not a good idea. Shes asking the question in an effort to say since he wont that's why she failed at all this. She only takes baby steps but wont take the ultimate responsibility to defer her failure

[@caroc4327]

Did you hear til the end? That’s basically what he recommended for her to prove to her husband she’s serious about change.

[@PixieTheRabbit]

Marriage buster! She got a job, but keeps spending and hasn't paid down her debt!!! Start paying your bills, lady! Stop squandering money. She is acting like an out-of-control teenager...

[@trit1695]

PixieTheRabbit

[@gr8macaw1]

agree 100%

[@evenbiggeral5089]

And the husband finds himself in the spot of becoming the “bad guy” if he kicks her out! I say he is doing the right thing by giving it time so the limelight is off of the tragic situation, and he can then do what needs to be done with this person who doesn’t even get it.

[@Vinicius.Passos.]

Exactly!

[@flah0754]

So much for holding women accountable.

[@travelingdude1621]

Double standards for sure.

[@arielsea9087]

Maybe Dave can adopt her.

[@lifehackersixtynine676]

why doesn't dave call her out on paying the minimums?

[@seeyeah5172]

Lifehacker Sixtynine 3:28

[@jessicaolson490]

I think he didn't rip into her because they lost a child. She's likely half acting out financially in self sabotage, emotional spending and poor judgement, lack of long term planning all point towards that. Same with husband lack luster response to her. Depression takes many forms, but it is lack of hope that drives much human folly.

[@z040880]

Because Dave is a simp

[@xavierjamal8755]

Because she’s a woman

[@Ant0417]

Dave always finds a way to throw blame at the man. This is ALL her. She's disrespectful and irrespsonsible and he should divorce her.

[@Yetizod1]

The man is the leader of the house, he should've been more involved. He certainly not the primary fault here, but he's not blameless either.

[@SooSmokie]

@@Yetizod1 he is not blameless for his wife spending 30k behind his back? Do you hear how stupid you sound? What would make it his fault she blew 30k behind his back?

[@Mexicobeanpole]

You are absolutely right. She’s done nothing right. How is her husband the bad guy??

[@socketyellow3]

@@Yetizod1 so he should of not trusted his wife and micromanaged her before he found out she did it?

[@riftwalk2546]

@@Yetizod1 careful now if you say a men is suppose to be the leader of the household that is sexist

[@ebfabulous]

this caller is flippant , unremorseful, unrepentant

[@marthar4370]

you know she really did give off that vibe...like she gave the impression like she only overspent by $300 not $30k

[@kujas]

she just had a miscarriage give her a break!

[@cjjuszczak]

@@kujas Nope, she started spending the money BEFORE the miscarriage. The miscarriage is not an excuse to lie and deceive your spouse.

[@johnsprystaff9605]

Woman’s logic, Spends $30, 000... brings up miscarriage (as if those were related). Gets a job... continues to spend... then blames husband for not spending even more money on FPU.

[@MattSmith-vl8zp]

I'm depressed!!! blah blah blah. Men are bad too but it seems like a woman will never own up to it being her fault.

[@digitalbrand5510]

She’s a ultimately a victim

[@chrisj197438]

John Spry Typical blame shifting tactics women use.

[@cyankoopa8111]

You people are saying this is specifically a problem with all women. But isn't this just a problem with stupid people who don't respect their spouses and do victim blaming?

[@karenlatre964]

Yeah this isn't a "woman" thing, this is a stupid, entitled, debt-ridden first world thing. I am a woman and could puke at this level of stupidity.

[@EPICsliceOFcake]

Dave is such a white knight. The man is always the bad guy.

[@Engagenumberone]

Eternal Anglo He's blue pill for sure.

[@CerronPritchett]

Right LOL...

[@SpiritLeash]

True, he doesn't know women. I think he has been with the same girl all his life and he thinks she is innocent. Women always cheat on guys like him. He is lucky his wife isn't a bad woman, he is so gullible.

[@wmurray003]

@Quad ..I came to say the same thing in so many words.

[@brandim1441]

Eternal Anglo Unless my ears were deceiving me I'm pretty sure he got on to her as well. Maybe you need to listen again?

[@jeremywheeler8417]

This is the kind of situation that makes me thank God I'm single. And this woman should be treated like a child. She is acting like it.

[@brighterdays2come]

Dude, everyone has issues. Nobody is perfect. This financial immaturity happens to be her issue. That being said, when a couple follows Dave's principles, they sit down TOGETHER each month and decide where the money goes that month because although much stays the same, many things don't occur every month (school fees, etc) this way they work as a team. Both know what they bring in jointly & agree on where it goes to benefit the family as a whole, including each person having some of their own spending money....many things can fall off the track when married people don't work together, because it is a "union" of 2 separate people. It doesn't mean marriage is bad. It just means it needs set up & maintained properly, just like anything else.

[@linjubar]

That sounds great for a couple who have trust in each other, but she lost his trust, and with good reason. If she hasn’t changed, it would be stupid to trust her, unless she stops lying and spending.

[@anthonyfuller9933]

@@brighterdays2come No

[@SooSmokie]

@@brighterdays2come everyone has issues sure, but I should not be forced to pay for your 30k mistake. I would have asked for a divorce

[@SooSmokie]

@Generalsaurkraut BS! Point out how society treats women like children.

[@hometowngirl8062]

I don't blame him for not being part of her foolishness.

[@carlospereira3504]

wouldn't surprise me if she's done a lot more than that behind his back. Why would any guy be with a women like this?

[@firstname3255]

Carlos Pereira *Desperate*

[@CaptainCocaine]

She better be super hot.

[@hannahmcintosh5343]

Because they're married and love each other? They've been married 18 years! People who enter marriage believing that it will always go well and no mistakes will be made are the people who have unhappy marriages, get divorced and have multiple failed marriages/relationships because they always place blame on the spouse instead of working in a team like they're supposed to. So many people don't take their vows seriously these days. Love does not keep count of wrongdoings.

[@yamahantx7005]

@@hannahmcintosh5343 'Working in a team' can only work when there's trust and honesty. Now she has money, trust, and honesty issues to resolve. Taking a vow doesn't absolve a person of responsibility. Society doesn't tolerate dead beat dads. Why should we tolerate dead beat moms?

[@Spaceysgurl]

@@hannahmcintosh5343 she got 30,000 wrong doings. How much can someone take?

[@johnzabik270]

Dave!...how is this fall on the guy?..this lady spent money behind this guys back!...please explain!

[@kujas]

dave is just being a simp as always.

[@kylenetherwood8734]

Dave often blames both people in the marriage like with the Oprah thing.

[@crazeekids9744]

@W2 mostly men because Dave has old fashioned, traditional values and expects the man to be the head of his household

[@candyluna2929]

that woman messed her marriage...

[@Handymancinema]

Yeah if I rob someone and they want their money back they're selfish as fuck.... get out of here

[@sarahbucket8037]

Jouri Wiemes 😂😂😂

[@eatingyumyum]

actually, spending that kind of money behind your husbands back is kind of like cheating on them. especially if you didn't tell him. I don't care what any one says when your married its both your debt.

[@fuloran1]

+Michele Goodsell Not "kind of like".

[@digitalbrand5510]

Financial infidelity

[@SlapM3SillyTTV]

how did he not tear into her ? if it was a guy he would have torn him apart

[@GDuncan8002]

Women always get a soft touch.

[@Tundra0128]

Man it must be awkward in their home lol

[@Vinicius.Passos.]

She didn't change her behavior in 2 years and Dave still complains about how the husband's treating her. 2 ducking years!

[@VAIO294]

Dave is still trying to make the husband the bad guy.

[@CaptainCocaine]

It's almost as if two people can be wrong at the same time.

[@z040880]

@@CaptainCocaine it's almost as if Dave is simping like always

[@siddheshmirjankar910]

@@CaptainCocaine I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have said that if the husband had spent 30K behind his wife's back and kept it hidden

[@21truthbetold]

He paid off all the debt SHE acquired under his name!!! He is not selfish. He could have sued her for that.

[@momonie4]

Their married the debt is theirs no matter who created it,.. unless they get a divorce.

[@BudgetwithAllisonSummer]

No, sir, he can't sue her. In a marriage what is his is her and what is hers is his. So, what that means is you cant sue yourself in court. That's why in a court of law a husband or wife cannot testify against one another.

[@BudgetwithAllisonSummer]

@@momonie4 and anything that occurred during their marriage cant count. So in order to get sued, she would have to had done this after they were divorced.

[@ethannaka1822]

@@BudgetwithAllisonSummer sounds like you've had experience with this before lol

[@BudgetwithAllisonSummer]

@@ethannaka1822 Nope, my husband and I are never getting divorced. I also would never spend that much money because I'm to cheap lol. Also, Yes, I've read a few books that mentions the law and how to use it in your favor. Anyway, if my husband woke up one morning and wanted to divorce me I would be like okay sure where do I sign, but before I signed I would ask him nicely, " Did you call the Salvation Army?" He would ask Why? Because, your going to need them to help you rebuild your life that I'm about to obliterate your world. ;)

[@crispappletart]

I would love an update on this couple. I wonder if she finally changed her ways, got her act together, and attacked her debt. I hope so. I feel for both of them, but especially for the husband. I'd be crushed if my spouse did this to me.

[@kujas]

there was an update, her debt was paid off 8 months later by her husband afterwards they got a divorce.

[@chrisj197438]

kuja Sounds about right. She probably spent the money on her dude she was screwing behind his back.

[@roxannegordon6162]

Like someone else said: How can you not notice? THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS???? I would have to have a gazillion not to notice 30K!! YIIKES. I wonder what is REALLY going on here? this is another case where we really need to hear the other side.

[@linjubar]

If she had a credit card in her name only, he wouldn’t know about it.

[@DougAlesUSA]

Listening to this call makes me wonder if there is any possible situation where Dave would blame the woman not the man. Dave is simply off the wall wrong blaming the man in this call.

[@abark]

Need to keep that gyno gravy train rolling. He's not going to chase off his core audience.

[@arleneaugustahair8393]

Oh NO Sis! What are you doing? You need to pay that debt off and stop playing games! You need to fix it! You messed up! Fix it!

[@johnnyb3663]

Dave gives pretty bad relationship advice.

[@jacobclubb5624]

Bad relationship advice? Guys been married 38 years. Id take his advice cause hes more knowledgeable and been around the block a time or two.

[@OopsFailedArt]

I’m confused on how this is bad advice.. she broke his trust but they’re still a unit... What number spouse are you on for goodness sake?

[@jamesedwards3923]

Marriage is a joint venture. Marriage is a contract. Treating her like a child is appropriate. She acted like one. She stole from the community property. He is demanding that she prove to earn his trust. The husband is not wrong. I agree she could learn from her husband. Does not need him to go to the course. Would be nice, but not required.

[@kujas]

a comment i agree with completly

[@chada75]

The Husband should just drop this Female.

[@carojames6776]

Birdup4life I agree.

[@prepordietryin9119]

Somehow I just knew as the video went on that some form of blame was going to come down on my husband. She lied and only came clean because she got caught. Can you imagine how big the debt might be had she not got caught? I was starting to enjoy Dave's videos but I'm starting to see he has a horrible double standard.

[@ThomasSDavis-mc9of]

I've noticed that there are different standards for men and women. He expects men to act like men. But he also excuses women, well, when they act like women.

[@Tunechi65]

@@ThomasSDavis-mc9of that's the Dave way

[@Punkydoodle007]

Actions speak louder than words. In this situation the trust has been broken and in order to get him on board with doing FPU, he needs to first see proof that she's serious. I'm surprised Dave didn't ask what that $30,000 debt was and why she hid it from him in the first place. Sounds like there are some deeper issues going on here.

[@garrettmesser3977]

The husband doesn’t need fpu, he didn’t run up $30k in debt. He needs a divorce lawyer

[@trumpisgod2535]

Dave is Simp

[@elijahrobinson4650]

If he would have fixed her problem, she wouldn’t have learned her lesson and kept lying and spending money. Been there. Done that. Got a divorce.

[@siddheshmirjankar910]

If you told your story to Dave, then he would somehow find a way to blame it on you. That's the sad reality of this channel

[@uk7769]

Let me guess... Somehow, it's the man's fault. Aaaaaaand, yep. Poor innocent abandoned woman. Evil man. She is probably cheating on him too. 'Blow Me Up Tom'

[@gigi8528]

I hope I don't have a marriage that involves a spouse that is bad with money 🙄

[@theunfadeable60]

Dave got his white cape on again.

[@fhuber7507]

That woman deserves an anniversary present: Divorce papers.

[@turdferguson5847]

Based on what she has stated he would be destroyed in a divorce since he likely is the higher earner

[@thorpminister494]

Yes! Absolutely priceless!

[@GDuncan8002]

You've been served!

[@ir10031981]

that should be a deal breaker right there, just like with infidelity.

[@Vydio]

Actually Dave has compared this sort of thing to infidelity.

[@danteljackson]

See, these are the type of stories that make me fear marriage. Its like a business agreement and when things go south, the court is more likely to rule in a woman's favor, especially with kids involved. The whole idea of marriage is just unfair to men. If she racks up 30k in debt, the husband shouldnt be held responsible for cleaning up her mess, especially when she hides it. Thats a blatant disregard of trust & respect of one another's decisions. I bet she wouldn't wanna throw all of her money towards his debt either so why is it so one sided here...

[@chrysiarose]

Marriage was always a business venture. Marriage was only for love in the mid 1700s and later. Earlier than that it was always for business. Except the couple mostly didn't have a choice. The parents chose. Even the Victorian couples had no say, the parents were in charge. If a man couldn't afford to keep the wife at the same economic level she grew up in, there was no match. If he was a higher status, marriage was not likely as his parents would want an equal to him. If she was well off, her parents would be leery of everyone and strict with who could approach. Unlike novels, most marriages were very controlled and even after the marriage there were extended family responsibilities.

[@candyluna2929]

she doesn't need marriage counselor, just a calculator.

[@ddh158]

She would't know how to use it.

[@ronaldswafford2142]

we discuss spending over $100.

[@Vydio]

How exactly does someone spend that much money behind a spouse's back. If I was bringing home stuff day after day I think DH would notice after awhile.

[@ThePeterDislikeShow]

$30,000 doesn't really go that far. A few trips to see friends and a few events, and perhaps going on special diet, etc.

[@Vydio]

FortNikitaBullion How does a special diet run up $30,000? Wouldn't the husband notice the trips?

[@ThePeterDislikeShow]

Not really. I don't think my girlfriend would blink if I mentioned I'd like to go to another city for a weekend to play at a Backgammon tournament. Multiple that 10-20 times it can add up. Special diets and supplements can add up fast too.

[@cjzanders5430]

FortNikitaBullion True, Someone can gamble $30,000 in months

[@b1ueshift]

Having been in a similar situation, I noticed my ex making some extravagant purchases, but I didn't know the extent.

[@Dana888dana]

In sickness and in health, until death do us part. Not a reason to get a divorce. Help your spouse with the debt. Which is worse - infidelity or hiding debt? To me infidelity is way worse. This can be worked out.

[@husher5142]

Why does she think he needs to take FPU when it is her that has the problem. Pick yourself up, clean up your own room.

[@rector559]

Dave believes that divorce is unavoidable in situations where one of the spouses remains out of control financially, yet almost in the same sentence he says marriage is for better or worse. A simple postnuptial agreement (following a separation) can solve a majority of the concern that one spouse might have about being financially ruined by the other spouse. A postnuptial agreement is a written agreement executed after a couple gets married, or have entered a civil union, to settle the couple's affairs and assets in the event of a separation or divorce. It is normally "notarized" or acknowledged and is usually the subject of the statute of frauds. Separation will suffice. Just an option he never brings up for those who don't believe in divorce, and have a deeper belief in the sanctity of divorce.

[@vsonic86]

Wow, he is just answering my question. I thought I was making a wrong decision to leave my girlfriend who is an alcoholic and drug user. I'm glad Dav would do the same.

[@meancarleen]

THE WORSE part is she NEVER told her hubby!! He FOUND out, that must had been awful for the both of them. I couldn't forgive it, he is supposed to be able to TRUST her and she goes out and recklessly spends $30k - say what you want but I would had been getting a divorce. It would had made a difference if she came clean and showed that she wanted to change her bad behavior but for me to find out and you still not changing your ways...BUH BYE!

[@kujas]

but you have to understand she had a miscarriage and it's both of there money so... he shouldn't be mad she spent 30k

[@TheLordBeast]

@@kujas I would be mad regardless the cause and especially finding out about it like he did. how can you defend her actions?

[@kujas]

her actions are justified, why wouldn't I speak up? It's just 30k they can be earned back easily however what she's going through cannot.

[@colebendoggettyounger2610]

It doesn't matter if she went through a miscarriage!!!!! Spending that kind of money behind your husband's back is unforgivable!!!! Trust is gone. You can't believe a word of what she says now.

[@DanielGarcia-zz9eg]

but the thing is when you say work together it's always the man doing all the work , like hey women we have a house to maintain, need to save money for other life issues ahead , vacation. it's not fair women always spending the money and over charge and guess what here's comes the man to clean it up and you will look back and see wow look at the history of money you threw away over our life over 300,000 dollars because I'll always bail you out. that money could of when to Mutual Savings stock money , house could have been paid off , vacation trips. I'm sorry I'm tried of it. I'm like you on your own. when I need money I have no one to help me and my wife won't be able to help so. I'm tried of the waste of money that could of gone to better things

[@BrendaBaBoom]

First, spending 30 GRAND behind my back would be a total deal BREAKER . . . next comes the BOOT, then BYE baby.

[@linjubar]

All her husband did is separate the money. That’s common sense to me, especially as she hasn’t changed. Her husband has to protect himself.

[@bambinosto]

$5000 i could forgive but $30.000 is too much.

[@lovethemflowers]

At first, I thought she intercepted the bills coming in the mail, but paperless billing is probably how she hid it.

[@GrgAProduction]

Still, you as a man should check in on YOUR MONEY. It’s very easy seeing when a person is bad with money. She clearly is very bad with money. So why the fk do you as a man then let her handle the economy in the first place?!!!

[@Elizabeth-uj8vn]

Dave is going easy on her probably she's suffered with child loss and other deep rooted emotional baggage. Dave did say he is not happy with her behavior.

[@Paul-ou1rx]

Every dollar of her paycheck goes to debt. Period.

[@UrbanTimes]

what did she spend the money on? she was probably cheating

[@highpeaks3598]

She not only caused the mess, but did nothing to solve it. But, Dave finds a way to BLAME the guy. I have lost respect for Dave R.

[@lengchang40]

It would have been a bigger mess have he not found out about it. Dave is too easy on her... Dave should had smack this lady by the head through the phone. I would have much more sympathy of her have she came clean and confess to him, but no sympathy at all since he caught her instead. SMH.

[@rachelh3441]

Gimpinmypants, the cards were in his name and I was just a user. Every year he took the tax check money to pay them sown, but I never knew how high they were. He also took out a personal loan and a 401K loan to keep the payments from me. When he could not pay them is when I found out. Everything g was on line and we did not talk about expenses at all. He tried to live above his means because he did not want to tell his kids no on anything they wanted. Now they know we r on a budget and we buy what we need. It took me a very long time to forgive this. It about ended a 15 year relationship. Now we r about to celebrate 17 years and we have the bills under control and r working toward being debt free by next year.

[@DonLee1980]

He shouldn't treat her like a child? Even children know better than to spend $30k of the family's hard-earned money behind your family's back. After 2 years, still hasn't done anything to deal with the debt. I can't be married to someone that useless, weak, and unfaithful.

[@candyluna2929]

she should also do her part...

[@chrisj197438]

I bet she has been unfaithful as well since she obviously has no respect for her husband.

[@TheRamseyShow]

Thanks for watching

[@Omonike88]

I am glad not to be married. You marry the wrong person....and it will lead to THIS! I feel for the husband.

[@YugalJindle]

Just my thoughts though.. What she did was wrong and should be fixed. Everyone does or happens to do somethings wrong and a couple fix it together maintaining the trust. As long as she understands that it was a mistake and needs to be fixed, they are still blessed.

[@tugboat2030]

This call always makes me uneasy because she talks about losing a child. I think that needs to be addressed first and foremost. If her overspending was a major effect of that, then I think the marriage can be mended. But just ending the marriage and the husband dropping the wife could be emotionally devastating for both.

[@SheilaNorthcutt]

Women don’t hide things from husbands who they trust. She is probably acting like a teenager because she is treated like a child and not like a partner. Definitely need marital counseling first.

[@TheClarkfather]

I love you Dave! But... you're wrong. If a wife had any respect, even the smallest ounce of respect, she would have never hid her debt, and then, after being confronted, she wouldn't still be paying the minimums and spending money poorly. No, your wife isn't your daughter, but when she ACTS like your daughter, spending her money like a child and hiding the evidence, she needs to be treated as such until she can show she is a mature adult.

[@barbararepko4824]

I see divorce in her future.

[@DinaStrange]

Women throw away the 50/50 mentality. Don't marry dudes who can't provide and protect. Of course you can't just waste his money but you both should be a team but if you are reasonable and he still expects you to do 50...RUN and find self a real provider.

[@ernieellan5694]

Yeah the wife is not saying anything close to what Dave states. She's saying yeah I spent 30K putting us in the hole and I'm not paying it off at all. Eventually you will be forced to pay it off while I continue to spend as I like. Dave keeps trying to put this onto the husband while the wife. who spent the money and continues to spend frivolously, has zero responsibility for this? How about she stop spending and pay off the debt? Am I missing something from the phone call?

[@HDroadglide]

She is willing to take a step in the right way. Would love to hear Dave reach out to some of these people just to see how they are doing.

[@colebendoggettyounger2610]

Spending 30K behind your husband's back is a breach of trust and betrayal. I don't care what she was going through. The husband needs to file for an immediate divorce and ghost her because how is he supposed to trust her in the future? When adversity or something tragic happens going forward how does he know that she won't spend 50K and sell the car behind his back?

[@youngmystery8417]

Like Dave but he compares people marriage to his own and thinks everyone has his moral compass. Some women spent and then expect the man to pay up. That’s not fair. In divorce the women keeps everything the kids the house and the money. She needs to take responsibility and pay her own debt

[@theplaintiff5450]

He did what I’d do. 5k? Ok, that’s a mistake. 30k? That’s hugely intentional. I would have separated money immediately. Hold her accountable. This is NOT a difficult situation.

[@harrycq81]

The man left to much slack on that rope. Lesson learned on his end. Give her $100 a wk for allowance and that cover groceries!

[@garrettmesser3977]

harrycq81 he shouldn’t have to act like her dad and be responsible for his wife. That’s what women don’t get about being accountable, they always want their husbands to bail them out

[@colebendoggettyounger2610]

Forget that, divorce her!!!! The wife violated his trust and she can't be trusted going forward!!!

[@Mr_NB628]

He doesn’t want to help her because if he just write a check today she won’t learn a lesson and she’ll just do it again. He wants her to feel the pain of paying off $30,000.

[@nicolemb105]

No way should the husband trust her with the money..she hasn't learned anything!

[@jimh712]

What did she spend the $30k on..

[@youngmystery8417]

Shoes

[@GDuncan8002]

Crap that would not bring $1000 if she had to resell it.

[@NSGLiv]

I wonder what else she’s doing behind her husband’s back can’t trust a woman like this

[@colbyjaffy3062]

I'm not surprised she's from DC

[@lincolncity9]

Only your new commander in chief!

[@CrazyBrah21]

mgtow

[@lengchang40]

LOL, way to go... this is the future way!

[@sonicice8340]

What did she spend the money on????

[@workingshlub8861]

sounds like a peg bundy.. its scary how many wifes act like this. never get married.

[@josef6999]

That's why I'm marrying someone with financial goals . not wasting money when I'd rather invest it

[@apope06]

If you act like a teenager...you are one...wife or not.

[@idontwantahandle510]

Brother needs to run.

[@travelingdude1621]

Women need to be held accountable for their actions.

[@justhomas83]

No respect for hard work money is not free that is the problem with people's physic outlook. Lets just spend it all for nothing. You work till your in the grave think of it that way it will force you to refocus your money habits.

[@hicntrydrftr1]

I would like to hear what the husband has to say

[@festussmom6364]

She mentioned the loss of a child and if you watch the show Horders it usually is because they lost someone close to them..❤️🇺🇸🦠😷

[@markg999]

Did Dave really say he would get a divorce...

[@mr.w8802]

Mark G Because of the lack of trust. If i didn't trust my wife, id be gone.

[@markg999]

Mr. W Nice so the other person can't have a come to Jesus moment and get issues maybe resolved...hate to be married to you.

[@markg999]

***** No I wouldn't I would have that nipped in the bud. This could all be avoided if you knew the person you were marrying first. Sounds like they have alot of other issues.

[@mr.w8802]

Mark G The girl I married had her come to Jesus moment before we got married and told me everything, otherwise I wouldnt have married her. So yes she had her chance and she took it, but man secrets are like building a wall. Its marriage suicide. All secrets can ruin a marriage. Again, if I didn't trust my wife I'd be gone. Sure I'd try to work it out and repair things, but I'm not staying in an abusive relationship, it just will not happen.

[@markg999]

Mr. W Most divorce could be prevented if you talk clearly in the open about issues before marriage. I laugh when people say my wife is a big spender...you didn't talk about that or know that before you got married? If my wife was a big spender and in huge debt I wouldn't have married her in the first place.

[@twilliams842]

Leave her

[@lisadawson8441]

I've only seen one person acknowledge that she lost a child- how was that topic not addressed? I can't imagine how I would respond if I were in her shoes. There is nothing I can imagine that would be more devastating and although what she has done is NOT ok, she needs help. This call makes me very sad and I'm disappointed that Dave didn't address her grieving.

[@csikomas8910]

I agree with you Lisa. For most of these comments, its all about money, and judging others, my way or the highway as if money is the great and absolute LORD we bow down to. It's just egos! How you spend money is a symptom of what else is going on. All that happened is more guilt and shame was added to this woman. She was looking for something in her spending that is unavailable to her in any human being, including her husband. I hope she finds her way to healing fully, then the money issues will go away. The talk about being a spiritual person was just talk. There was no active or real support offered her, just marching orders. Stress affects brain chemistry, I don't see any softness, compassion or humanity in this vid.

[@Kanfachan]

She lost the child after her husband found out about her spending...so it's irrelevant to the issue of the debt and her deceptive behavior

[@csikomas8910]

I accept that it takes a woman to point it out. If that is feminism, I'm good with that. :)

[@garrettmesser3977]

The husband lost a child too, he didn’t go out and hide $30k in debt from his wife and then expect her to fix it!

[@klauser10]

Question is.. what did she do with the 32k?

[@joshmatthew4125]

Forgiveness will be required here. They could have paid the debt off TOGETHER and moved on by know and grown from this experience together. Marriage is not fair. He is acting like a victim and abandoning her. She feels alone. He also feels alone and betrayed. Man Up! Forgiveness is hard but simple. You CANNOT keep score in marriage. Learn and Move On.

[@kujas]

you got to be a troll, there is no way anyone in there right mind would be paying for there spouses mistake especially one that they've hidden.

[@StoneysWorkshop]

All the people saying dave throws the guy under the bus. Well God also went to Adam, not Eve, for the eating of fruit of the tree...

[@pearlbossa]

StoneysWorkshop Yeah and Eve didn't do anything behind his back. Adam ate also. This woman deceived and is now making minimum payments. He feels betrayed and not rectifying she is showing no remorse. She got caught and is now just spitting in his face by paying minimums and CONTINUING to buy things. She's just calling Dave with her little girl voice to try to get him to tell her she's not crazy and to make him the bad guy.

[@voicedify]

I'm disappointed in these comments. This is MARRIAGE we're talking about. They're not boyfriend and girlfriend. You would advocate divorcing this woman over $30,000? This marriage can be healed. A lot needs to take place, but the two owe each other another chance because they're married. Some matters more serious can be divorced over without any debate or second chances, but they need to be far more serious and irreparable than $30,000.

[@stevenvanegas8848]

Sorry but Dave is wrong he’s not being selfish and using an example of soup when you’re sick is so stupid sorry but there’s no such thing as a soup that costs tens of thousands of dollars she got herself into this situation and put her marriage at risk and still has shown lack of care towards her husband. On top of that she has a job and is still paying the minimum on all her debt and after two years hasn’t even made a dent yeah no she’s 100% wrong

[@carlospereira3504]

bunch of jokes especially her.How can people like this exist?

[@willelliott5052]

Seems like he should be glad for his wife's interest in FPU.

[@hero2006]

Sounds like my Ex-wife. She's still lying and drowning in debt. You can't fix stupid.

[@elizagaskell7957]

She lost a baby and sought counselling and self medication via credit cards and shopping....She could of easily spent some of that money on going to see a counsellor who will help her get over her grief.

[@sademcfadden1374]

I think the context that people are missing in the comments is that they lost a child. It doesn’t excuse her behavior but trauma influences how people behave and emotional spending can be a coping mechanism. I can understand the husbands distrust and she needs to make more of an effort to get it back by going all in on the plan, but he’s not really participating in in the marriage and process by shunning and leaving her out to dry..