I Think My Husband Is Bisexual (What Should I Do?)

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[@fireman872]

As a gay man on grindr this happens way more than folks realize. Check on your husbands ya’ll.

[@nadeenzamora]

You’re 100% correct. I have a trans-female friend, who’s on Grinder. She tells me all the stories of “straight” men in marriages who enjoy hooking up with other men or trans-women from time to time.

[@iHeartAmySue]

I love this

[@mrod87]

It’s scary bc it’s often “the perfect man” that’s dealing with these things. She probably felt like he saved her from shame having 4 kids and no husband…..

[@nickbarcheck1019]

Same dude. Grindr is the wild West.

[@dianaverano7878]

Pls tell me why married men who are gay will go that far, having that secret life behind his wife? I appreciate your insights. If he is gay, why cant he be honest to his wife or to himself?

[@Mitzi73]

She has no kids with him? She should just go.

[@victoriousjoy9338]

I agree. Liars rarely change!

[@taycie1486]

Right? Easy choice I would think.

[@mikehinson5935]

Yep, I mean he is gay but in denial. Can you imagine being in the ER and telling staff the she stuck whatever it was up his ass just to cover for him!!! Just leave and let him deal with being gay to hisself.

[@COINsimp2024]

Exactly. I would be totally disgusted, and I have no idea why she's putting all of this effort into this relationship.

[@semosancus5506]

My guess is there hasn't been a lot of opportunity to pregnancy due to the "fetishes".

[@miriambarco8832]

She's betraying herself for his comfort. Taking on his shame. Run

[@iamsummereve]

Exactly. Poor thing.

[@sandrahunter5904]

Run. I you can find potential in someone else.

[@jericlark5855]

His shame for being gay?

[@Illtechnica]

A lot of women today, amplified by Hollywood and TV fantasies, fantasize about "The Perfect Marriage." Even when it falls apart, not due to her own failings, she will fight to keep the fantasy alive. Actually, both men and women are guilty of this for different reasons. This happened to a male friend, whose wife came out as a Lesbian. We had a lot of hard conversations because he felt he had done something wrong. They were HS sweethearts, and she stuck with him during his days in the USMC. But he eventually had to let her go.

[@raymondkymsuttle]

You’re assuming & projecting your belief in ‘shame’.

[@KellyStevensFGG]

John Delony is such a loving, compassionate, caring man. I wish more people giving advice were as open minded as him. He is kind.

[@brianramirez8255]

Exactly, the opposite of a lot of what I see in all of his videos comments sections.

[@TheCookieFranco]

As a gay man, I’m glad I never had to go through this type of struggle. Be yourself, help others, and you will find true happiness.

[@MrYokahu]

I agree with you. The caller is strong, intelligent, understanding and loving. She has the stronger weapon that a mother could have and it is her children.

[@boogerbrains138]

As a gay man, sexually is fluid. Maybe this person never realized his attraction to the same sex until recently. I've had tons of sex with women when I was a young man and I wasn't in the closet but oblivious to who I was🤷.

[@elisedunstan2080]

My little brother died 8 years ago and he was gay. I wish he were back. I loved him unconditionally.

[@gachamansama3703]

​@@elisedunstan2080 woah, what happened?

[@Damianbartt]

​@@boogerbrains138You are bisexual. And guys just like you: 1 - Call yourself "gay" while having sex with women, affirming the homophobia that "being gay is a choice, you just haven't found the right woman yet". 2 - Or they marry women and cheat on them with men/trans (and the blame falls on gays too) "Fluid sexuality" = Unassumed bisexuality

[@evelyndaisy9722]

If you have to ask , you already know the answer. Let him go find himself on his own and move on.

[@glendanesmith]

so true

[@siteworld123]

Hopefully, he hasn't sexually a used he children

[@Ivy-u6h]

But when you're in love that's not so easy to do. You hold on sometimes and just hope things will work out. It's so sad but so common

[@pneron2032]

I mean, if you get home and your husband is f****** himself with a toy, I think that's your clue.

[@evelyndaisy9722]

@@pneron2032 😂

[@kathylovesmk]

"He hasn't chosen you". Her light bulb moment. 💔

[@derekmyers423]

🌽

[@LarennPBel]

I felt that

[@shitina.bucket9699]

🍑⬅️💡

[@pinnacle1717]

Hearing it was a harsh reality for her, but she needed to hear it.

[@ohozo7292]

@@pinnacle1717 ANOTHER instance of me reading a comment as soon as its said outloud

[@oncetwice5942]

When she mentioned potential, I just spotted the problem. She fell in love with potential instead of who he is, but then again he lied about who he is. Her situation is a huge roller coaster.

[@EthanLomas]

Unfortunately too many women want to change a man. I would bet he is sick of her frigidity and needs the real thing. I hope he can find true love

[@EthanLomas]

@@pinnacle1717 whether he bi or straight, he’s married to her. The man she should be worried about is the closet case who trolls the ball bathrooms and truck stops doing bareback sex. Being bi doesn’t make you a slit. And being bi is not the same as gay. Jeez!

[@e.dalesmith-gallo6897]

To be fair, as a gay man (who also grew up in Texas) who was also married to a woman in my 20s, he has probably lied even more to himself. Especially those of us who grew up in conservative environments try so hard to make ourselves what we were always expected to be. And it's not fair, and it is deeply hurtful, but it's also not malicious. He's fighting a huge battle (but I agree that she doesn't need to fight it for him.)

[@LeeYbarra]

@@EthanLomas

[@LeeYbarra]

@@e.dalesmith-gallo6897

[@cindyminx2985]

Im so sorry she is going through this. I lived this for 25 years. I finally went online to see what he was doing (one desk computer, back in the day) and found it was all about men and transgender men. When I asked him about he basically said it was none of my business. In desperation to figure out what to do, I found a counselor and then a psychiatrist to talk to about it. The psychiatrist wasn't as gentle as John but he said he was very concerned about anyone who would willing stay in this type relationship. My lightbulb moment came the next time I went to donate blood and they asked me if I had been with a man who had been with a man and I realized I didnt know for sure. I was disappearing too. I'm so very sorry but he wont change, as long as he blaming you or anyone else he cant. Please dont stay like I did. Its hard to look back and realize how much life you missed out on.

[@nita_alva]

So did he end up coming out as gay later?

[@cindyminx2985]

@@nita_alva No, he is in a thruple, I think that's what its called. Two men and one woman. Our son is the one that told me. My son struggled with his relationship with his dad for a few years but thankfully they have worked it through and still have some contact. I've heard he crossdresses but Ive never seen it.

[@spacepope87]

Sorry you had to go through all that.

[@stevehunter291]

He can't change anymore than your husband could. We are what mother nature made us . I am sorry it took so long for your lightbulb moment.

[@lynette599]

_Imagine having to take the BLAME for an object breaking OFF inside his body - needing to have it removed in hospital and having to take the BLAME for it so that the husband can save FACE in front of the doctors and nurses!! Just ABSURDITY!!_

[@KathleenMcNe]

The caller doesn't value and respect herself.

[@blueStarKitt7924]

​@@KathleenMcNeYeah. So sad.😔

[@tigernotwoods914]

She didn’t have to do anything, but the fact that she chose to shows she’s a genuine person

[@mr.anderson9938]

@@tigernotwoods914or she has 4 kids from other people and likes being a victim

[@vivianworden]

The caller needs counseling too. She is a textbook case of codependency if i ever saw. 😢

[@terriesmith2616]

Agreed. She probably already knew the answer but is having a hard time leaving. She has a choice to leave, she doesn't have to wait for him to divorce her. She can choose to go, but since she's codependent, she finds it difficult to leave. She needs major counseling. He's going to be who he is, it's up to her if she wants to tolerate it or not.

[@Veracityseeker7]

Yup

[@violetcrimes]

Yup and very low self esteem

[@Sergiuss555]

IF you ever saw? Are you typing from the trailer in the woods where you lived your whole life?

[@EthanLomas]

Her husband is bi and likes dildos - hardly crime of the century LOL

[@aliciaohara8794]

Im surprised John didn't mention possible sex addiction. Sleeping together 4-5x/day for YEARS is so unrealistic. How do they get anything else done in their lives? 😅

[@csx6910]

Pretty sure at that point, most men would have no more fluids left in their body lol

[@melissahood2960]

I thought the same thing! Once a day for years is a high sex drive. 4-5x a day? Screaming sex addict.

[@erichchan3]

For most men, if they can get laid 4-5x day with a woman there is no reason for men to look elsewhere for that. The fact that the husband still has to look elsewhere to get off just tells you that he is not into her.

[@bp6877]

You make room! :)

[@GardenerEarthGuy]

Or AIDS those types catch that.

[@frankalmanzar3492]

I like what John had to say here. He moved it away from sexuality and focused more on the lack of communication part. The husband isn’t willing to let her in on his secrets and what he’s going through.

[@EthanLomas]

A wife can check her man's sphincter. If one fingers slips in easily, he has been compromised and is cheating on you!

[@bperez8656]

Because he feels shame duh She doesn’t like anything that he likes exploring

[@Rg11195]

That’s because he doesn’t have the range to really cover that aspect of the topic. Communication is more well rounded

[@ipage1]

She loves a version of this man that doesn’t exist - he’s a liar, he can’t be trusted , she is flogging a dead horse for something that doesn’t exist. Run lovely lady - you deserve so much more

[@annea6288]

I understand how she feels. I caught my ex partner of 8 years scrolling Grindr when I woke up in the middle of the night. I decided to break off the relationship. I couldn' bear the thought of him being the bottom of another man. The moment I found out was sickening. I was lied to for years.

[@Robert-vf6ny]

What about someone like myself. Who, in his conscience, cannot lie to a female I am attracted to about my Bi orientation, and am completely transparent? Would you trust me enough, that when I say it is just you, and a boyfriend that I am in love with simultaneously, with NO other sex partners, would you be with me? There are honest Bi men out there, like myself, who also think it's disgusting to lie to someone and cheat on them, leaving them in the dark.

[@annea6288]

@@Robert-vf6ny I don't think he is Bi, I am sure he is 100% gay, telling me he was asexual. I was a means to reach a goal eg PR into the country where I live

[@Robert-vf6ny]

@@annea6288 that's not fair either way. I don't understand not only gross promiscuity, but lying to someone you supposedly love. I am looking for a female who will love understand me, and condone my also having a boyfriend that I love

[@tammylewis9324]

I have always believed that everybody looks at everybody. Although I’ve never had a girlfriend I consider myself bisexual. It comes down to trust. If you aren’t going to trust your partner solely because they are bisexual, don’t get entangled with them.

[@rgrnurse]

This cut straight to my heart … I’m in a similar situation except that my husband, who was special forces in the Army and a police officer for 17 years, just went to prison for 11 years and 8 months for sending inappropriate pictures to minor/teen boys at his gym. Such a waste of a 22 year marriage and God help our five children. I am praying everyday that I can help them, and that they will choose, to know that they are not their father. It’s such a shame-filled life he lived that he could never even tell me after all of these years that he had so many personal struggles. I had no idea … he was a master at manipulation and gaslighting. I was the crazy one …

[@bloomingale7868]

Wishing you healing and peace now that his reign of terror is over. Poor child he tainted.

[@GodSaveTheClothes]

I’m so sorry. That is so incredibly painful! Prayers for peace for you and your children 🙏

[@ApriliaRacer14]

Wish you and your family the very best.

[@victoriousjoy9338]

Sounds like my situation except that mine also never did much of anything valuable. So lazy and entitled.

[@ygabriella8991]

Im so sorry. Prayer for you and your family.

[@leetheaarceneaux8151]

I feel the caller is being polite and not telling the whole story about her husband’s sexuality because she cannot handle reality . My cousin married a man who she later found out was paying male prostitutes he met on Craigslist . She was diagnosed with AIDS she got from him. People live in their truth .

[@Veracityseeker7]

Horrible

[@2intriguing1]

My God.

[@arfriedman4577]

I'm so sorry to read.

[@anicesunset2022]

Absolutely tragic.

[@kelvinjefferson2253]

That's so sad. Praying for her

[@seaurchin4451]

He has gaslit her so much that even her wording of the question makes it sound like it’s her problem.

[@annc.3908]

See I don’t fall for that. He tries so hard to deflect his fault into gas lighting, learned from his screaming mother. But I was there, I’m not an idiot.

[@redflag4255]

@@annc.3908 Well you deserve way better. You sound like a sweet person.

[@8308776]

I almost went down this path when I was in my 20's but decided not to get married. I am gay, and just could not do this to another person. I knew in my heart it would not end well... However so many men do take this route and hope they can beat their feelings down and just make it through till the end. But so many just can't and end up in unhappy marriages, or divorce.

[@FriendofDorothy]

they also end up alcoholics. I'm currently see a FWB who was married twice and has 3 kids. He has a pronounced heavy drinking issue so i won't consider him as more than a FWB. The end zone of living a LIE is sadder than most people think.

[@lambchop6278]

​@@FriendofDorothyI wonder if bi men struggle more with shame than gay men do. If just because they don't get past the sense of what they can and can't change, needed to get past shame from our society about not being hetero. The boundaries are blurry for them and they feel confused. I feel sorry for bi men. I heArd they get loads of stigma. Really unfair. And a shame on our society.

[@melanier7309]

So true. My former supervisor told me things I didn't want to hear. Everything she said came true.

[@DaveTexas]

I’m a gay man who is married to a man who was previously married to a woman. I know a LOT about this topic. John’s advice here is way off. All his advice about setting boundaries, about fidelity, about trying to get the husband to fall in line with what the caller wants…this advice will not help their marriage in the least. This woman’s husband is definitely somewhere on the spectrum in between "straight" and "gay." A LOT of men are - and I’ve slept with a lot of them. Preachers, firemen, construction workers, guys with a bunch of kids, newly married men who aren’t sure about what they feel, grandfathers who never felt like they could explore those feelings that were taboo when they first got married…there are men who enjoy sex with other men everywhere, in all walks of life. If there’s one thing they all have in common, it’s that keeping that secret is toxic. This woman needs to communicate with her husband. She needs to start the discussions about topics she finds uncomfortable. He’s going to be uncomfortable for sure, but she needs to push through that. Having those conversations is the only way she can save her marriage - if she wants to try to save it. If she doesn’t, then she needs to set him free so they can both find happiness. She needs to ask him about his attraction to men. She needs to ask what he’s wanting in his sex life that she can’t or won’t provide. She needs to let him know that she’s not judging him or trying to shame him. They have to talk about this stuff openly and honestly. They also need to talk about it with a professional counselor. Not asking questions, not requesting honesty from her husband, not letting him feel safe in talking about this - these are the actual problems. If they really want to remain married to each other, she’s going to have to have the uncomfortable conversations. John’s advice about setting boundaries is WAY off here. Setting boundaries is just a way of putting up emotional walls, and it’s a guaranteed recipe for failure. There ARE solutions. She might not like them and that’s fine, but she’s never going to find a solution the way she’s going now. She might as well hire an attorney to start the divorce paperwork.

[@tentrickspony8925]

You are right but wrong about one thing...being straight means you have zero desire for people of your own secs, being straight means you have zero homosecsual experience and there's no way that's ever gona change unless you're duped into it. The truth is , most of the men you describe much like women who claim to be straight but are curious, or engage in homosecsual activity for the fun of it, all these people are bisexual but falsely identify as straight, knowingly or unknowingly...self identification is problematic for this very reason...if you so much as question your secsuality, you can't be straight. Straight doesn't come in a spectrum...that's a lie being told out there.

[@TalkingSchtick]

Very well said. And truth. We don’t know this guy, so unfair to make assumptions or dissect him. And, her husband may be still trying to figure himself out. But… The fact he is leading a secret life is a clue. Chances are slim that hey can stay together. She has to let this man go free…esp. since they have no kids together. One thing we do know. This man has a big sex life. And apparently little of it includes her NOW. it did before. He is in a much different place now. This happens. If religion stopped pigeon-holing men into pigeonholes they cannot comfortably live in, it would do much less harm to men. And those men would do far less harm to the women they choose to live a straight life they cannot make work for their wives or themselves. I know. I am one of those men. I know. Dating: I like women. But I’m sexually attracted to men. But, I do not want to pay the price to be gay. And Then: the woman takes the lead. Ignoring ALL the signs, the woman (listening to her friends telling her to squeeze the sponge and get wet) and finally she gets his nut. And he says: OMG! I CAN have intercourse with a woman!!! Now, I can be straight! Engagement: We’re getting married! Marriage: For me, the sex was broken before the end of the first year of marriage. Sex with a woman gave me an orgasm, but less and less satisfaction. Only sex with a man was going to satisfy me. I should have known. But I was too easily confused, aggressively courted by a woman. Too afraid of being gay, too afraid of disappointing her, too naive to try to figure out or even ask, “But what do I want? What is best for me?” Years 2-10: more advice from girlfriends…if you really love this guy and don’t want to lose him you have to get pregnant, then he’ll stay… so she did…so I did. In a terrible marriage that challenged us both, and wasted our youth. But, I did hang around for my son. It wasn’t all bad. I loved being a Dad. Raised my son. He is still my best friend. I did finally fall in love with a man, and it was everything I hoped for and more. Soul-mates. It was worth the wait. Christianity and the other judgmental religions cause terrible heartache, and drive too many people to suicide, mental illness, broken families. Christianity is killing people. The idea that human sexuality is binary, “black and white” with nothing in between is idiotic. Human sexuality is a spectrum. So White is good/Black is bad is Medieval, Foolish, Wrong, and condemning all the people in between to a life of hell on earth, triggered by the condemnation of the ignorant ‘churched’ folk. For anyone who doubts that, see Sigourney Weaver in the film, “Prayers for Bobby”. This lady who is at her wits end and called in. She needs to set this man free. Of course it’s a huge loss to her. But she cannot ‘fix’ this man or this marriage. Thank the Maker she did not start a second family with this man! She still has plenty of time to find someone to love. And so can the man who is realizing he is/was trapped in a marriage with a person who could never satisfy him…through no fault of her own.

[@thomassullivan1207]

I'm not sure if we listened to the same call, but the one I heard, she desperately wants him to feel safe and to open up about everything. He's just too ashamed to do it. Also, I'm guessing that she didn't sign up for a marriage with someone who's bi. If I'm right, you're right too. She needs to start the paperwork ASAP.

[@Texas_Made91]

I pray you can break that spirit

[@DaveTexas]

@@Texas_Made91 break what spirit? The Holy Spirit? Nothing to break there since it isn’t real. Alcoholic beverages are called "spirits," so maybe you want to break some vodka. Is that it? Or are you talking about the kind of spirit that you have when you cheer for the high school football team? Breaking that would seem sort of sad. But then you didn’t go to high school, did you? And how is it broken? Do you drop it on the floor? A bottle would break, but the spirits inside wouldn’t. Break the spirits of your child by destroying their dream of doing better than you by finishing middle school? Your inability to communicate in a way that provides the reader with even the tiniest shred of information shows us that you have nothing worthwhile to communicate. Typical of all "Christians." Not being able to even use your own language properly is unbelievably pathetic. Are you ashamed of speaking English? Would Arabic be better? Russian? Mandarin?

[@andrea6053]

Please live in your truth so others aren’t forced to live your lie with you.

[@kcourtney6826]

If this was on a billboard

[@multifariousgemini]

Great words!! Thank you!

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

To a point, some “truths” are vile.

[@liannemarie2504]

I think more people should try and live the truth not their truth. People base whatever they think their truth is and whatever emotion they're feeling and that is a dangerous game. No one can grow from that. We need to base our lives off of actual truths so that we can actually get somewhere instead of just running around in circles

[@Robert-vf6ny]

Many men are bi, we are not gay.

[@guadalupecastro3648]

I hear her and it hurts because I lived everything she is describing. I got out and divorced. I don’t feel bad for my ex husband. He lied to me and I felt neglected but, now I feel so much better and I need to heal my soul.

[@LisaLisaCJ]

It’s a damn shame so many men play games with women’s lives. Then they wonder why so many choose not to marry in this day and age

[@Jackaroo.]

Men are opting out of marriage. Not women.@@LisaLisaCJ

[@Dionysus_Athena]

Pointing the finger is usually much easier than self reflection. He lied to you? So you’re telling me not once did you see any red flags? You didn’t catch him out on a lie?

[@Dionysus_Athena]

@@LisaLisaCJthat it is, how many of those men had terrible childhood experiences is quite astronomical. What’s worse is when people peg genders against one another. This isn’t a battle between men and women, the battle/war is men and women together against those with terrible ethics. Both boys and girls have been traumatised, both men and women have been in and/or also inflicted pain on to others. True healing isn’t about forgiveness, it’s about understanding.

[@westword6558]

Maybe but it’s good to note gay people have heterosexuals so afraid of there butt anal stuff does not mean you are gay or bi and even if he’s bi who cares America is so sex negative. She should not have a issue with this as long as he’s not cheating .the church culture has many people brainwashed

[@SoulfulVeg]

The fact that she had sex 4-5 a day says a lot. And now she's a beard. She took the blame for an object that got stuck in HIS body (prob his butt). 😱 She sounds like a nice person with no boundaries and self-worth. She needs a divorce, conversations with strong friends, and a counselor.

[@breeeque]

I shut down a guy 2 min ago cause he in the closet. Some ppl r rlly bad at seeing the signs

[@bluebellcrushedvelvet]

"And now she's a *beard* " wtf??

[@SoulfulVeg]

@@bluebellcrushedvelvet A beard is a woman who goes out with closeted gay men to make them appear like they have a girlfriend.

[@Joyful_in_GA]

Or a wife who thinks she married a straight man who is married so he is socially acceptable, has kids, etc. The beard is a disguise to make him look straight. Run sweet lady!!!

[@nah.-wy6fj]

Or he's just a bad partner? Straight guys can be kinky and like things in their backdoor too. That doesn't make you gay or bi. But he is a bad partner and that's really all that matters.

[@NefariaAdventures]

When I started working in DC, I was shocked by all the closeted men who were married to women yet cheat on their wives with other men any chance they get. Some of the older men would try to sexually assault and then blackmail other men (especially younger men). Some of them will go to great lengths to hide their secret. Happened to one of my younger, openly gay friends. People have no idea how widespread it is, and the wives are typically clueless.

[@Robert-vf6ny]

I have EVERY idea how widespread it is. I am a straight guy, I only date men, and I can almost instantly recognize these guys on sight...lots of them have tattoos/piercings.

[@МаринаСигунова-л3г]

What do you mean you are a straight guy who dates only men? Means you are gay. And how else to recognise a gay in a closet , besides tattoos and piercings?

[@gachamansama3703]

​@@Robert-vf6ny "straight" and "I only date men"? Porque?

[@Robert-vf6ny]

@@gachamansama3703 ok I accept I'm gay now. I'm very naturally masculine though 🤷‍♂️ Guys are in denial at first because we are normal guys. But yes, we're gay or bi nonetheless

[@laurenceat9136]

@@Robert-vf6ny yes acceptance ….Good; you were thé one to Be in denial and no women are not stupid ; just drawn into so many layers of lies ; beurk

[@MaCardarelli]

For me, it’s all about faithfulness. As a gay man, if the tables were turned and my husband that I knew as gay was actually bisexual, it honestly wouldn’t bother me as long as he was still faithful to me.

[@gottesurteil3201]

I swear the gay men are making more sense than the women.

[@Silvermoonscorpion]

So as long as you knew about it, if he slept a woman, that would be ok or he's free to be bi as long as he doesn't touch another kind of faithfulness..?

[@soni05131]

"he hasn't chosen you in that place" That's it! Nothing more to say, she needs to realize HE doesn't want HER. It's not her fault, she can't fix him, because there's nothing to fix. She needs to step away and be done with it!

[@evelyndaisy9722]

He’s not into her

[@terriesmith2616]

Exactly. She already knows the answer but doesn't want to accept it. Sounds like she's codependent because she has a hard time letting go.

[@chilloften]

Right right, he’s gay and using her & her children to cover that fact. If you cannot be honest, you suck.

[@LittleMarySunshine4]

it sounds like he's picking fights to get her to leave him so he can go pursue men. he needs to just own up to it and stop stringing her along. resentment will only grow.

[@stefaniamalatesta8076]

This woman is absolutely beautiful. She sounds so kind and caring. She deserves better.

[@nt3833]

She is kind and caring to her husband, but unfortunately not to her kids for putting them through this awful relationship.

[@stefaniamalatesta8076]

Very judgmental. @@nt3833

[@westword6558]

@@nt3833 Ugh gay people have heterosexuals so afraid of their butt and that does not mean you are gay or bi and even if he’s bi who cares America is so sex negative. As long as he’s not cheating . She should not have a issue with this the church culture has many people brainwashed

[@iantrue2123]

Well that's what happens when we justify perversion. And we call it caring and inclusive. It will destroy you too.

[@drrush3421]

LOL, we always say that when women have loose boundaries, they are sweet and kind and caring. Women with strong boundaries are biarches.

[@samanthapatterson530]

If I ever had a feeling that my husband liked men I would have to leave immediately. Hard stop. Hard no.

[@samanthapatterson530]

He likes penis

[@Robert-vf6ny]

Very masculine men who are ALSO into women, can and are, very often secretly bisexual. Jokes on you. I personally, would never be with a female who wouldn't accept me for who I am. But I'm rare. I'm an honest man. Most men you are with, including your husband, are liars.

[@animezinglife]

@@Robert-vf6ny That wouldn't be a loss to the female. 😆

[@sakutaro3musik486]

​@@Robert-vf6nyit's funny because woman like these are the reason bisexuell guys cheat on them and aren't honest

[@michaelvanmastrigt7591]

Pretty sure there’s no such thing as “bisexual” You’re either gay or straight and if you sleep with the same sex then you’re gay, even if you also sleep with the opposite see on occasion. All these weird labels and terms to try and make everyone feel special and unique lol

[@iHeartAmySue]

I agree so hard on this. I’m sick of this bi and pan nonsense. If you hit on other dudes your gay and if you also sleep with women then you have a mother problem and you’re using your poor wife or girlfriend as a beard.

[@Her.Serene.Feline.Cuteness.]

No such thing as bisexual? 😆😆😆

[@michaelvanmastrigt7591]

Yes Kyle. If you sleep with members of the same sex, your gay. Even if you also sleep with members of the opposite sex to. It’s just called being gay. “Bisexual” is not a real thing. It’s just a made up term to make people feel special. Like you, a very special person who misses the simple points. It’s kind of odd that you followed me over here kangaroo jack.

[@c.edales740]

Gotta stop mothering this man and mother your children . They need you

[@CrystalM1917]

She's too busy living on her back for that. She was having sex 5 times a day, when did she have time to be a mother? She glossed over her kids like that phase of her life barely comes into her thought process.

[@TimeToShine768]

💯💯🎯🎯

[@bcent5758]

@@CrystalM1917- wow you must be perfect!

[@CrystalM1917]

@@bcent5758 being a present mother and being perfect are not synonymous but go off!

[@alwaysyouramanda]

My mom got left when I was 2 and she never stopped prioritizing that man over us. I was 2, my sister was a baby. Kids shouldn’t hear “your daddy doesn’t love us” what it sounds like is “your daddy doesn’t love you.” Knowing he’s going to jail because of child support is another thing I don’t think the kids should have to carry. My mom used us as therapists.. slaves!

[@GodSaveTheClothes]

My analysis is he is definitely cheating, gay and she needs to leave. She needs to get checked for STD's.

[@chrismm6886]

Yes she needs to leave Before she gets HIV😅

[@molly5262]

💯!!

[@paolaristori6179]

She said she gets herself tested periodically

[@Veracityseeker7]

Agreed

[@IMOO1896]

I agree, I think somehow these 2 are connected, when it ends, the man will be who he really is. My heart goes out to this woman who’s trying so hard to fix him, and it can’t be done.

[@stephaniejmc]

Sorry, but when he said "can I ask some probing questions" I had to chuckle a bit 😏

[@Proppa-Gander]

I passed by a van that said 'bottom demolition' on the side of it lol 🤣 💕👍xx

[@JaneaDahl]

Yeah, we're all imagining what those toys were. LOL.

[@livingonhighvibe]

that's when the aliens abducted people in South Park and Mackey was begging to have the "bigger metal one". And also Butters got examined for multiple personality disorder with the said probe. HAHAHA.

[@EthanLomas]

that was not accidental. I nearly wet myself

[@kellygirl912]

I did too

[@williethomas9953]

This doctor is right. It's not about his being bisexual. It's about his not considering you his safe space and his lack of commitment to your relationship. It's not a wagon. It's who he is.

[@bethanyelaine9949]

While we as woman don't want to believe that the man is gay, by wondering if they are bisexual we are giving ourselves some kind of acceptance, when the reality is, men like this are not bisexual. They are gay and they are struggling, but it is not up to us to carry their "burden." It's time for this woman to make a choice and maybe the best choice is to leave him. You can't make anyone be in love with you, and you certainly can't make anyone straight. I hope she finds her peace.

[@nothanks1945]

I just don’t believe he ever married her for love, because he definitely knew what he’s into and deceived her into thinking that he’s a heterosexual man. Also, all the secrets he’s keeping from her is definitely at least emotional cheating and the fact that he likes to watch tons of porn and has fetishes that he carries out or tries to force on her irl is NOT LOVE and NOT just a sexuality thing. That man has mental issues and possibly a paraphilia. Extreme porn and fetishes are a red flag, but sadly it’s normalised in our society as “just being kinky”.

[@taylortisaac]

@@nothanks1945it’s very possible his porn addiction has made his brain addicted to men and gay porn, yet he still has the normal heterosexual attraction he was born with. So we end up calling someone like this bisexual. When in reality, he could be a straight man with a crippling porn addiction that has absolutely destroyed his sense of appropriate attraction. Not to mention all the shame and secrecy that magnifies the issue because his mom drilled shame and guilt into his head anytime he had normal sexual feelings as a teen.

[@iHeartAmySue]

@@taylortisaacthere are so many of these mothers out there who are making their sons gay. My ex husband is one of them. I think their mothers telling them not to ruin their calling by having premarital sex causes a lot of these boys to get confused. My ex was so messed up regarding sex and it’s because of the Assembly of God church and his very name it and claim it mother. .

[@Puuws]

no matter his attraction, at least he is a bad partner, lying, looking elsewhere ect

[@phoenixxsoul]

He probably is bisexual, since he is in a relationship with her in the first place.

[@Youdontneedtoknowmyname3-iu1vk]

I'm not competing with men... as a married woman it looks like its over

[@kcourtney6826]

💯

[@Puuws]

well gender doesnt really matter, if you feel you need to compete its not good anyway

[@collydub1987]

​@@Puuwsexactly.

[@jeep19]

Ohh honey, I say that too, but reverse, I don't compete with women.

[@KH_waebak]

The thing is some gay dude don't go for bisexual dude as well because they are afraid that they will just left them and marry a woman ultimately.

[@twinsma14]

Mama ain’t got nothing to do with grown ass man lying to his wife… that’s just a beard for his gay lifestyle. He out cheating with men. Run before you have bigger problems.

[@tfernandez6806]

RUN

[@NAMDRUMS]

Time to take ur white hoods out the closet babe

[@laurenceat9136]

Ruuuuuun

[@thesprinklebox4841]

Are we really just going to skim over the whole "I took the blame when we took him to the hospital to get something removed from his body"......like excuse me!?!? 😦

[@gilmendoza8092]

Lmao I caught that too I was like I wonder what object that was

[@thesprinklebox4841]

@@gilmendoza8092 I have so many questions...lol

[@nt3833]

Yeah. Wtf this guy emotionally abusive and that’s a nice way of saying it.

[@paolaristori6179]

She is completely gaslighted

[@emmalee9747]

@@gilmendoza8092hopefully not a gerbil.

[@KP-us5pq]

She basically described my dad. If I could tell this nice lady, please walk away from this man. He is going to hurt you.

[@murraygosling2375]

I'm a gay man who was married for 6 years to a woman. You cannot change him unfortunately and have no choice but to look after yourself and go. No councillor will fix this

[@MrsMathews]

I would not stay with a man that is sleeping with other men. Once confirmed, I would leave swiftly.

[@chriscanavanii9064]

Yeah. He's gay.

[@baristaz8834]

​@@chriscanavanii9064he's bi

[@stuff1784]

You could catch something from them too. 😳

[@baristaz8834]

@@stuff1784 and from you too, 8ts not exclusive bud

[@Contrarian-v7p]

@@baristaz8834 Higher risk among the MLM community. It's a well established fact.

[@lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559]

Gosh, this woman seems like her own worst enemy. It's so easy, as an outsider, to see that she really needs to get out of her own way.

[@shecaptain3444]

I so agree with you. I've realized that in myself.

[@pinnacle1717]

Totally agree, she is a doormat in this situation & can’t help herself. Sounds like she will never give up trying to “fix” him. It would be a relief for both of them to go their separate ways.

[@kensmith2796]

This is a good lesson/reminder to men and women to always listen to your friends when you first start dating someone. Your friends and family see things you don't since you are blinded by romantic love. This woman's friends knew something was up with this guy's sexuality. I think he overcompensated by being intimate with her 5 times a day to try and convince her of his interest in women.

[@bloomingale7868]

Bingo!

[@baristaz8834]

Ok first off, if your partner is bisexual yet they love and married YOU, that is not a red flag. Their sexuality is not a red flag. They may be into the same sex as well but it's you they picked to be with out of all the people out there. Many people assume all or most bisexuals get jealous or crave the other gender when they are with one partner. That is not the truth, and bisexuals that harm their partner are bad because of their actions, not gender. Just getting it out there bc there's so much biphobia on the internet and I can't with it. So with this, I would say the guy shouldn't blame his partner, that's just shitty. He has his interests and thats fine, including sexuality wise. But pointing fingers at the wife is an @sshole move. Also he should learn to trust his wife, unless his wife isn't supportive, then he should be open with his wife. I understand his hesitant, I'll be hesitant to, but grow and learn to trust your partner. Honestly, they should either separate or he should really go and see an lgbtq therapist who can help him through that. She should let him process things and go her way, he clearly has a lot to figure out.

[@Angelina-pi2cc]

Within reason, sisters of men who date beautiful women will always say something nasty no matter how kind the girl is

[@baristaz8834]

@@Angelina-pi2cc no they will not always say something nasty, fool1sh words from a fool1sh person. Sisters of men, no matter who they date, can be good or bad, their sexuality doesn't define that.

[@PepeCoinMania]

this is a red flag dont give bad advices@@baristaz8834

[@freespiritwithnature4384]

She thinks she can fix him... She can't. She definitely loves him and is willing to keep him ,but it's only going to escalate.

[@FriendofDorothy]

Correct. She is deeply invested in being Florence Nightingale for this wounded bird and he knows it.

[@stevehunter291]

There is nothing to fix. She needs to accept him for what he is and move on with her own life.

[@leonhue722]

If you are not sure if your boyfriend is gay/bisexual then just ask his boyfriend ... he'll tell you.

[@Gotoworkkk]

😂 right!!!

[@emilyk.5664]

This would be a deal breaker for me. He should be the one to leave, but instead he's making his wife uncomfortable in the process. I hope she lets him go and finds someone who is into HER!

[@instahamx684]

No, she should be the one who leaves, she is not sexually compatible with him. She said it herself, they had a very engaged sex life until she changed her mind about it and him.

[@emilyk.5664]

@@instahamx684 I think she should leave too, but she's forced to leave due to his actions. Maybe if she knew the extent of his same-sex fetishes and desires from the beginning she wouldn't have married him. Although, she does acknowledge that she ignored some red flags. If he acknowledged that his issues like lying, porn addiction, and the fact that he's not straight was unfair to her, then I think he'd take the responsibility and divorce.

[@road_king_dude]

Facts

[@instahamx684]

@@emilyk.5664 He married her because he wanted to have a relationship with her. She is not interested in a relationship with him based on how he wants to interact with her sexually. He did not reject her, she rejected him sexually she and is wondering why he no longer goes to her and now seeks positive reinforcement about his physical fitness from men. If he was entertaining women who complimented his fitness she would accuse him of being emotionally unfaithful with women. She is the one who decided she could not tolerate the sex they were having, she is the one who is saying he is attracted to men and wants to have sex with men even though he married her and is trying to have a married sex life with her.

[@emilyk.5664]

@@instahamx684 she doesn't have a penis, so I don't think she can please him the way he wants. It's totally reasonable for a straight woman to feel uncomfortable with her husband wanting anal penetration lol.

[@kristenivory628]

Find someone that loves and wants you for who you are not someone trying to fake it

[@TheNyakaat]

It’s hard out here and some people would rather keep a piece of what they have than let go and not be able to find another.

[@rosieaustin9911]

It’s NOT your job to “fix” him. You’re being too good a person to a fault. You deserve to be single or with a man that is honest and trustworthy & safe. You’re not his therapist!!

[@terriesmith2616]

Agreed. 💯💯💯 Even if she wanted to fix him, she couldn't. He has to fix himself. She needs to understand that she can't fix other people. Some people have a hard time accepting the truth, accepting that they can't fix someone else.

[@thequirkychristian]

@@terriesmith2616I always ask people, if you have such a hard time changing yourself why do you think you can change someone else? Also, I don’t know why we ladies think we are so awesome that we think we have the power to change another person. We aren’t that special. Lol

[@DawidKellerman]

Yes but you made promises and are bound to him even in the afterlife OR does that not count now?

[@kmariamv]

@@DawidKellerman the man doesn’t even want to help himself and tell the truth, all of her support is in vain. It’s clear this is unhealthy for both of them. Plus if she didn’t sign up how his sexual fantasies she shouldn’t have to accept them “just because”, at this point fulfilling his pleasures are more important than his marriage unfortunately

[@DawidKellerman]

@@kmariamv Hmm you missed the previous episode .. where they did not want the woman to divorce her TBI husband but the moment he is bisexual its ok .. I was pointing out the double standard

[@src3360]

Another prime example of you cant change a man...

[@KelseyJacobson-zn3mw]

Who cares if a guy is bisexual!!!!!! What matters is that he remains loyal and faithful to his wife!

[@akirahimurakinakiyama99]

True, very true and based

[@Gotoworkkk]

Obviously, sexually he’s not satisfied

[@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607]

I am so grossed out right now. 100% she’s been cheated on, too.

[@nt3833]

Thank you. Me too!! And there are kids in this home. I feel sorry for them. This man is gross and has a sex addiction and other issues.

[@NoName-jq1ru]

Just because he’s bi, lol?

[@COINsimp2024]

​@NoName-jq1ru there is no such thing as bi. This is simply a side effect of a bigger issue.

[@Veracityseeker7]

​@@NoName-jq1ruYes, that's exactly part of it

[@Veracityseeker7]

Agreed 💯

[@kayn2756]

Lady run, and run fast. 🏃‍♀️ Even Freddie Mercury was married to a woman

[@paul_domici]

Freddie was never married but Elton John was!

[@Veracityseeker7]

Fact

[@MiamiChica]

No Freddie was never married. He had a longtime girlfriend named Mary, whom he loved deeply and never cheated on. He was very faithful to her as both a boyfriend and then a normal friend till his death. After he discovered he was bisexual, he let her go and broke up with her. It’s a sad backstory though, because he discovered his sexuality via men in the industry molesting him :/

[@humboldtharry1289]

Wait a minute, are you saying Freddie may have been gay?

[@Contrarian-v7p]

​@victornieves1794Most men are bi/gay.

[@respectabletampodcast]

I’m really trying to understand why this is the wife’s burden to bear. Is her self esteem so low that she doesn’t think she deserves a man who loves her and gives her all of himself? You can be a friend and a safe place without being his wife and therapist.

[@alluringbliss4165]

Maybe her dad did not love her like a father should or she feels she needs him for other reasons. I am unable to comprehend why she is accepting him playing with other males. It’s disturbing.

[@respectabletampodcast]

@@alluringbliss4165 Hm. Good points. Those reasons are plausible, for sure.

[@shachede6828]

You get! She is acting like she is Jesus who who died for our sins. She must be getting something out of it.

[@CrystalM1917]

@@shachede6828 she is. She wants to be a martyr.

[@iHeartAmySue]

When some women make a vow before God “til death do us part” they actually mean it. And they will sacrifice themselves to honor that vow. I’m not saying if it’s right or not but it is what it is.

[@bw6384]

I am a 60 yo gay man. I have listened to your story, and I believe that this union should have never taken place. He has things to figure out. The only thing you can do is support him. Live your life young lady, you have much to give.

[@Fotini13]

Thank you, I also needed to hear this

[@Joan-m2c]

I'm so sorry for all this. I lived it. Unfortunately, you are being used as a decoy in so many ways. His alternative lifestyle is not yours. He surely does not want anyone knowing who he really is, and you being supportive is what he only needs from you. I did the same thing, and it will not work out the way you are hoping for.

[@santafilipina9020]

Divorce, move on and just let him be outa the closet gay.

[@KendraSmith087]

I found out my ex was bisexual. He never admitted to it, but from what I found he is. I found these same things, toys, extreme porn that disgusted me, fetishes. At first I really felt terrible that he had to hide it. But truthfully I could continue the relationship. We were not sexual compatible. The things he was into made me feel so uncomfortable! After feeling bad. I felt betrayed that he took my choice away. It’s something I should have know prior to becoming serious and looking at marriage.

[@frankalmanzar3492]

May I ask, was it gay porn? I’m assuming the answer is yes but just curious because the caller also didn’t emphasize that it was gay porn. So John just assumed that it was gay porn.

[@victoriousjoy9338]

For sure!!!

[@KendraSmith087]

@@frankalmanzar3492 no, I found transgender porn. To trans woman with full on penis’. Then I found bisexual threesome porn. Two men and one woman. There was so much more and it just got worse. I personally think he would be down to do stuff with men in the right situation but only wants to actually date women.

[@nothanks1945]

Thank god you got out before marriage and kids. Fetishes, extreme porn and so on are not “he’s just bisexual”, it’s “something is really off with this man mentally” and you definitely shouldn’t have kids with a man like that (if that was on the table).

[@KendraSmith087]

@@nothanks1945 nope, we have a daughter together. I actually found all of the porn and website stuff when my daughter was 3 months old. If I can advise anyone it is the vet your partners very seriously. Also, waiting till marriage to have sex is the best thing you can do. As uncool as that is today, we had it right before.

[@breeeque]

If ppl r asking if hes gay , 99% chance hes gay

[@Robert-vf6ny]

Most of us bi and gay men you wouldn't know. We are normal, masculine men.

[@martusia4594]

@@Robert-vf6ny hm... sorry but no

[@Robert-vf6ny]

@@martusia4594 keep fooling yourself, bigot.

[@randomuser9868]

@@Robert-vf6nylol dude so can gay men be masculine but are gay. Not bi

[@JennaP-y8j]

My uncle who I think is one of the best men in the whole world.. was married to my aunt for almost 30 years/ 2 kids later and finally came out to my aunt but my aunt knew that there were some tendencies before they even got married. They had so much love for each other, all the money they could want, the most beautiful family, but that didn't change who he felt he was. They did divorce. It was very hard on our family but eventually things got better, just shortly before my aunt passed away from cancer. I wish your family the best.

[@christinaify]

And if he's bisexual? It doesn't matter. Because he's in a committed heterosexual relationship. He has sexual desires for both sexes? Fine. It's still just as wrong to cheat on your spouse regardless of the...uh...plumbing involved.

[@andraconstantin9459]

He's gay. Being gay and using her as a front is gross. He's a douche. She needs to save herself and leave him. There's nothing here to save. He doesn't want her.

[@aftercommonera]

He had to get "something" medically removed from his body and we are still QUESTIONING if he likes men???

[@butreally289]

Was that literally a ‘lightbulb’ moment?

[@Tempo50]

@@butreally289it might have even been a lightbulb out of his body.😂Most likely a small rodent, though.

[@livingonhighvibe]

@victornieves1794 slipped and fell on a cucumber, perfect aiming for the rear hole. Through pants and underpants, too.

[@livingonhighvibe]

@victornieves1794 🤣 🥴😂

[@jeep19]

Mmm 🤔 he needs a bro, I could be that for him 🎉

[@thisis.michelletorres444]

She needs a backbone! He was NOT HONEST about something that is an ABSOLUTE dealbreaker, unless you swing that way too! How long before (if not already) he sleeps with men and brings home a disease?! Let alone the spiritual implications for you and any kids you have! Sis, get out!

[@Rabbit-285]

Happened to me, with a long term partner. Leave, it will never get better!! You cannot wait out what they won’t accept. It’s such a specific pain, wrapped in shame on both ends.

[@kleinpellteamrealty4561]

Head to the nearest Nike shoe store buy a pair of the best running shoes that they have put them on and run.

[@sherox414]

Anyone woman reading this, let the men be with themselves….U go enjoy life to its fullest…being single is a BLESSING too!

[@LisaLisaCJ]

It sure is. I can’t be one of these delusional married women. I’ve been one before. Men play too many games.

[@blueseptember2174]

Right?! If he doing too much then better to be single, than to be cheated on and get a disease. Better to wait for a man of high character or alone.

[@shachede6828]

For real! Just there dying with him when he ask you to. Smh

[@IMBIue]

Misery loves company 🙂

[@sherox414]

@@IMBIue yes these males do!

[@angelicaangel2624]

He knew what he was doing. She was alone with kids and probably looking for man to fill that husband/ dad role. He knew she would be an easy target.

[@90charim]

THIS! She has no boundaries and love him better than self! She needs to give everything she is trying to give him to herself & identify why she is obsessed with healing others and being responsible for others! This is heart breaking

[@Pupsforlife123]

I was in this situation for 18 years. It is very confusing and complicated. I feel for her and wish her the best.

[@brianbest6097]

18 years sheesh why didn’t u leave?

[@jibbyjabs]

​@@brianbest6097 she said because the situation in reality is confusing and complicated. Can you read? Rewind 18 years ago it's not like it was easier for anyone to learn or discuss such issues

[@brianbest6097]

@@jibbyjabs I bet you one thing if she contracted HIV or Aids it wouldn't be confusing or complicated. No different from women who choose bad boys or who stay in abusive relationships. There's too many resources and alternatives.

[@anaselfadil4113]

If you don’t trust someone, don’t be with them!!

[@user-semperfifly]

Your husband is gay Ally. Leave him and let him live his gay life. Permit yourself to find a heterosexual Man whom will love you and respect you the way you deserve to be loved and respected. Leave NOW. Don’t drag it out.

[@kcourtney6826]

The only thing she’s guilty of is ignoring the red flags in the beginning, but I think he knew about his sexual preferences before he married her and used her as a cover. It makes me sick how these people destroy the lives of others because they won’t deal with their issues. If this “toy” he’s ashamed of is what I think it is, that tells me everything I need to know. She needs to move on.

[@suhwateezea.214]

Yeah if it's a dildo hes too fargone

[@SirenaSpades]

She's a beard. She needs to leave. Women need to stop letting this happen.

[@2780-l2k]

It is not easy to figure out unless you follow someone 24/7 and track everything on their phone- it is impossible. My fiancé told me after I got pregnant he is into that but isn’t gay. Who knows what the truth is; I feel like he has closet gay friends and a kink lifestyle on top of it. Sex addict sums it up. Selfish individuals.

[@mish375]

I find it disgusting when people do that. Using their spouse as a toy just to cover their fetishes or take the attention off of their orientation is awful. They see their spouse as an object and not a person, ignoring the emotional damage they did/do to them.

[@EthanLomas]

If he is bi, he likes a bit of fish and beef. But for prudish wives, they can check their man's sphincter. If one fingers slips in easily, he has been compromised and is cheating on you!

[@CC12398]

Showing up in the hospital with something wedged in his bum was perhaps a little more than a red flag

[@evelyndaisy9722]

😂

[@CC12398]

@@evelyndaisy9722 🤣 she's a better person than I am , taking the blame for that!

[@077jess]

😂😂

[@timw7256]

Def not a red flag so much as a pink sock ....

[@CC12398]

@@timw7256 🤣

[@bp6877]

"I am not gay, but my boyfriend is."

[@patrickluchycky1172]

What's the results of the physical doc? Well, Joe. The good news is, your sperm count is fine. The bad news is, it's coming out your ass.

[@maribelhernandez3092]

Scareyyyyy😢

[@mewgiah8057]

Dating a bi person is fine if the person is up front with you. You don’t get to spring that on a person after marrying them for years. This is divorce worthy.

[@NalaMahal]

She sounds so sweet and I really feel for her and her family. John hit home when he said “he didn’t choose you as that person…”

[@JustBree716]

Who's to say she wasn't his beard all along doctor John. I mean i can appreciate his optimism to a degree but geez, this world is crazy and he just glossed right over that possibility even though as a grown a woman she could come to that conclusion herself as well

[@alluringbliss4165]

I think she is denial or is afraid to be alone.

[@rustyshackleford6637]

beard

[@stuff1784]

I think he’s fully gay, yeah.

[@andrew20146]

​@@stuff1784What makes you think that? She felt he was very attracted to her, and they have a lot of sex.

[@ryansullivan394]

He did need to be hospitalized to remove the large phallic instrument from his butt

[@BassBwoy3]

Sex 4-5 times per day for years is definitely not healthy and a sign of sex addiction. He likely picked her because she was emotionally attractive and 'needed affection' and he knew he could 'screw around' behind her back without her finding out as long as he satisfied her. I'm kinda shocked she was down for sex 4-5 times per day; I feel most women would get exhausted by that.

[@stealthswim223]

No kidding. My wife is exhausted after once every 3 weeks 😅

[@nancyfancy1956]

​@@stealthswim223😮

[@pandamoniumdev]

She has 4 kids they didn't spawn out of nowhere 😅

[@zmatthew91]

3 times a day is my max and that's on the weekends because I work too much during the week to be putting in that type of time lmbo 😂😂

[@SM-yq8tm]

If physical touch is a woman’s main love language, sex is extremely important. She will expect it daily as a confirmation of love.

[@Briemerald]

Nobody talking about Dr. John’s half sleeve of tats . They are fye 🔥🔥

[@elizabethbennet1234]

He is not Bi he is gay. She should move on to someone who will love her and be honest with her.

[@randomuser9868]

Truth is men cannot be bisexual. We as men need to get hard to have sex. We can manual do it but as a guy you are either turned on by men or women. So men cannot be bi. Any guy who does something gay or has gay feelings is gay- not bi.

[@shirleysimcoe9356]

Girl, do you know for a fact his mom is to blame? Wow. I think he has convinced you of this so you will feel bad for him. I pray this isnt the case!

[@bloomingale7868]

Exactly. Blaming the mom who can’t defend herself. Wife doesn’t realize he’s bashing her too to his gay “pals”.

[@ssiegreen5292]

Whether mom is to blame or not, isn't really an issue at this time and his age. He's a - presumably - mature adult man, not a grown boy. With issues. HIS issues more so than hers. HE needs to step up into his manhood, hetero, bi or gay - or what ever else gets him going, and be who he truly is. He'll never find happiness otherwise - and dragging any unsuspecting partners down with him, is just soo destructive and wrong. He is not only ruining his own life and happiness, but hers too - and by association - his relationship with her children and extended family as well.

[@Veracityseeker7]

Even if it is the mom's fault, it doesn't matter anymore. It's his job to fix it.

[@miltoncat]

Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t! But yeah. He’s gay. So far back in the closet he sees Narnia. Let him go. He might be a great shopping partner but he’s not husband material.

[@hopeintruth5119]

I hope they get the help, and life they deserve.

[@marifestation4603]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@ari_an_yah]

She's his long-term beard and he did it intentionally because he is gay, and he knew she'd be there for his bullcrap. She should take her life and sanity and leave and let him either sink or swim because he isn't into her whatsoever. Wow, she has to want better for herself and know that she is worth the journey back to self.

[@Veracityseeker7]

Agreed 💯

[@ItsCoreyLynxxYall]

He's not gay he's bi

[@vanessas2363]

Good comment. It happened to me. And these men pretend they're bisexual, when they're not, they are gay. The deception and betrayal is soul destroying. I have zero sympathy for these liars. None. It ought to be a criminal offence. The level of FRAUD.

[@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607]

@@ItsCoreyLynxxYallno he’s Gay. He would talk about WOMEN if he was bi. He talks about MEN only & hides toys the size of prize winning cucumbers. Wake up

[@digthewarmth]

I love when John helps people to realize there's a different question.

[@coup919062]

There’s a lot of bisexual shaming in this thread 😬 not cool

[@hommy1614]

Such a sad call. This woman hung on by threads. I found it especially interesting that she mentioned friends asking about his orientation. That says a lot, knowing that a true friend would ask in kindness and concern, and only if they were pretty sure something was amiss. I hope she has the courage to break free from her babysitting job with this man and find a true partner. She sounds so close to finding the strength!

[@goldengirlgains]

4-5x a day for years is insane

[@erichchan3]

She saw the potential in him that he can go multiple rounds a day so she obliged.

[@kensmith2796]

Yeah, I think that right there should have been her first red flag. She also should have listened to her friends because they knew something was up.

[@EmilyLucille523]

I know right! I had a friend who told me her husband loved to do it 3-4 times a day. She said it was so raw down there ⬇️🩲 she had to get a prescription for topical lidocaine! 😮

[@wumnenwei]

​@@kensmith2796Why is that a red flag? I wouldn't have thought it was but am I missing something?

[@twinsma14]

Can’t even finish watching this delusion.

[@bayonetta5101]

These types of situations is a result of homophobia. Sad all around

[@Fotini13]

Pretty sure my ex was gay too, literally went through a very similar experience.. people don’t even realize how traumatizing these experiences can be & how common these situations are.

[@mimimonster]

This caller sounds like a sweetheart. I hope she can realize that she can’t save her husband from himself. She can’t fix him BUT the BIGGEST thing is, he doesn’t WANT to be fixed! I hope she can realize she deserves someone who is an actual partner. Her husband is not. She can feel bad for him AND say she deserves better at the same time. I hope she can find a way out ASAP and do it for herself. Partnerships don’t need to rely on one partner saving the other or fixing the other’s trauma. It NEVER works. God bless her.

[@mz8194]

He doesn’t have to be fixed. He just has to learn to accept himself. They can sepparate amicably.

[@AmandaErrrrr]

She's making all these excuses up for him, made a whole story up about shame around his sexuality.... If he wanted you to be his safe space, if he wanted to confide in you.. he would. He does not want to. He's also creating division and blaming you. I think in your heart you already know whats up. Just run.

[@aina3387]

The problem isn't his bisexuality, it is his p0rn addiction. When you get married, your sexuality doesn't matter because you have made vows not to sleep with anyone other than your partner. Like any addiction, he has to make the choice to change, and if he doesn't, no one make him. The end. He is unrepentantly cheating on her, if not physically, emotionally and mentally. Please leave him. If he wants her back he needs to work for it. This lady isn't angry enough.

[@kellyeverett]

It’s not a porn addiction he’s gay and trying to hide/mask it with porn

[@aina3387]

@@kellyeverett Disagree. He was obviously satisfied with his wife's body until he started consuming porn at which point he began pushing for more and more unusual sex acts because porn must get more extreme to be satisfying.

[@shachede6828]

He is gay! And sexuality matters.

[@singerjo5791]

Bi-sexual is definitely a problem and so is the porn addiction.

[@erikrohr4396]

​@@shachede6828Does being gay mean he can't properly love his wife?

[@nelodypond9282]

When I was 20 I almost married a man who had effeminate mannerisms, also stared at men and made comments about their bodies like this caller mentioned, and my friends and brother all told me they felt he could be gay. When I simply told him I wanted to slow down in the relationship he immediately cried, ghosted me for a bit and then came back angry at me for years. I’ve beat myself up for a while feeling like I may have misjudged and ruined the relationship. Even though my gut told me he could be gay when we first met.

[@jengoodwyn2715]

I think you made a smart choice. The way he reacted to you wanting to slowing down, with all that anger, is not a good sign, in my mind.

[@nelodypond9282]

@@jengoodwyn2715 thank you. 🙏

[@otiliamanuelajurj]

@@jengoodwyn2715 In America, they have the right to be who they feel they are, so why are they using women to cover their lifestyle?

[@Robert-vf6ny]

Most of us bi and gay men are not effeminate. You harp on the obvious, stereotypical ones who are transgender.

[@jengoodwyn2715]

@@Robert-vf6ny Dammit, most of you gay men are really hot!

[@MiamiChica]

Gay or not, just the fact that he gets a kick out of attention on social media shows that he’s a narcissist. He also wants her to participate in acts that are uncomfortable for her. She knows all this and she should find a way to leave honestly.

[@starlingswallow]

This was sort of me in my last marriage. He had some really strange proclivities/fetishes. He told me he _wouldn't_ be with me any other way, and having grown up in Christianity and the whole "submissive wife" thing....I went ahead, against my own morals and values and joined him in it and it ripped me apart. Sweetie, you are worth more than this, and you can't FIX someone who won't get help for themselves. 😢 I'm so sorry. Sex addiction is serious, and it seriously rips a marriage apart. All due to choices. I used to fall in love with peoples potential, I had to learn to SEE the reality of people for who they are in the here and now. ❤

[@user-yk9sk7pg6v]

Hope you're doing OK now...

[@EthanLomas]

A wife can check her man's sphincter. If one fingers slips in easily, he has been compromised and is cheating on you!

[@MB-nx9tq]

I think this shows the terrible consequences of believing in a delusion like Christianity does to people. It causes people that would be perfectly happy being gay or bi and turns them into monsters who destroy their own life and destroy the lives of their spouse and children. Not only is Christianity a delusion, it is also evil, a scourge on the society and the individual that embraces it.

[@ms.diva0079]

Not everybody Marries for love and she needs to get over that delusion. She wanted a fixer-upper project and she actually got that. I don’t think he married her for love at all and that is something that she is telling herself. She knows to go to therapy. She is a grown woman and he is a grown man they are not good together. I hope she goes back and listens to her self

[@hopeintruth5119]

Not everybody married for love for sure. That's why there has been multiple trends of abuse, resentment, and mysterious spouse deaths that occur for centuries and around the world. Frankly, I can't blame them. You shouldn't advocate for two people to stay together that genuine don't liek each other or genuinely see each other as constant work and duty to be around. When they celatky want something totally different. There is needed work in marriage but marriage shouldn't feel like work or an act

[@richlucero3536]

Come on John, probing questions lol.

[@laurabranham8458]

I thought the same thing!! 😅

[@leahwilliams9333]

Glad someone said it. Lol

[@stephaniejmc]

Glad I'm not the only one who caught that. Not sure how he kept a straight face 😂

[@erichchan3]

I am sure the husband wants to be probed.

[@DKilgallen]

There’s no potential hon. Cut your losses

[@SLB9110]

Ally seems like a genuine and loving soul. Hearing her voice shake was very heartbreaking.

[@leadfootlee4332]

$20 says he wants pegged

[@thecramptons]

What is that ?

[@David-wo9un]

@@thecramptonsBest if you use Google for your answer.

[@David-wo9un]

Correct; she mentioned he needed surgery because something was lost and needed to be retrieved😮

[@David-wo9un]

Guaranteed, she even mentioned he required surgery to retrieve something.

[@leadfootlee4332]

​@@thecramptonswomen straps on a dildo and bangs her husband