Married 1 Year (We’ve Never Had Sex)

Married 1 Year (We’ve Never Had Sex)
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[@laurasogliuzzo3072]

I respect so much the way this guy is talking about his wife.

[@TheCatnipCinema]

Me too ❤

[@shaneeraparker5866]

Factz, I think it’s hard now but they will be ok. Both are trying hard so they will be fine. God bless them!

[@queenofthebutterflies5212]

Where are men like this??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a hero. I call him an absolute hero.

[@queenofthebutterflies5212]

He's a hero, where do they make m like this???

[@emmarose6590]

He’s a great guy. I hope they work it out and she gets help.

[@eduardojimenez114]

Imagine waiting until marriage then this happens. Absolutely brutal.

[@sjinvestors250]

I know right 😂😂😂😂 I can’t masturbate all my lifeeeee. Buddy your wife is full of crape … it’s time to man up and let her know how you feel or else you will suffer bro 😂😂😂😂😂

[@texasdazzlers]

This condition is completely treatable, and it’s no one’s fault. For two people who love and respect each other, this would be a curveball, but not necessarily brutal. Married couples should expect difficulties, but love is patient and kind.

[@OtisFlint]

Lol @ religious people. At least their invisible friend is happy.

[@anneshirley9560]

Yes. It hurts, and if you're religious like me, you feel like your stuck forever in this situation if your spouse chooses to not seek help.

[@RDCFemmes]

@@OtisFlint so if you are not religious you cannot love respect each other and you cannot be patient and kind to the person you clain you love? I am really confused about htis somment? love, pateince and understanding are exclusive to Christians?

[@yhiontop]

This is why it is soooooo important for a woman to marry a man who truly loves her. Love is patient and kind and this caller expresses that in the respectful and considerate way he handles the issue and talks about his wife. A lesser man would not only blame her and take it as a personal affront to his masculinity, but would either cheat on her or force himself on her, thereby increasing the trauma for her. Well done to you young man. Real strength doesn't lie in muscles and beards, but in character and virtue.

[@haploid2k]

On the other hand, it’s critical for women to marry someone they’re attracted to. There is a 100% chance that if this guy looked like Brad Pitt in his prime, there would be no “vaginismus”. She married the safe, secure, good beta provider, and these are the consequences.

[@josephmayer8880]

I don’t think anybody is really crazy enough to go that far with something. You sound insane. She was a vergin too and and has a disorder.

[@izealliaeldridge1441]

@@haploid2k Projecting your insecurities onto her is NOT apart of the treatment plan for psychological or vaginal disorders. That’s why it’s important to marry a man who can honor the better or worse part of his vowels. He’s a keeper…men could learn a lot from him.

[@jonnyd9351]

⁠​⁠@@izealliaeldridge1441What projection are you talking about? Are you saying that commenter thinks he's a loser beta? For pointing out that when a situation like this happens it's usually a lack of physical attraction at the core?

[@izealliaeldridge1441]

@@jonnyd9351 You should do simple google search on Vaginismus (symptoms AND causes). The more you educate yourself, the more you understand that it’s not about you. *I’d never assume a man’s erectile dysfunction issues was a measure of his physical attraction towards his lover.* We really should learn to check our egos and find practical solutions to these real life issues.

[@J.C.90]

The caller has a golden retriever personality 😂

[@melissachartres3219]

I'm SO sorry for this guy. I hope the wife isn't just lying to him about this whole situation. Wouldn't be the first time.

[@bonjovi2792]

​@@melissachartres3219 Most likely not. Vaginismus is extremely difficult to deal with mentally and physically. But it absolutely can be cured.

[@esdrasferreras1227]

@@melissachartres3219I hope so too. Terrible thing for a man

[@pearlg3468]

😂

[@jordinometry1589]

It’s so sweet❤

[@beautytwentyfour7]

The way this man speaks of his wife brought tears to me eyes

[@AC-LING666]

Sex is dirty and disgusting and should be avoided at all costs

[@denistaylor1782]

​@@AC-LING666are you ok buddy?

[@elijahpiere5324]

@@denistaylor1782I think that’s a child. Probably using a grown ups account or something

[@scroogemcduckismyspiritanimal]

​@@denistaylor1782 has to be a troll

[@dcarr-kr7hk]

@ACXIAO666.... "Sex is dirty and disgusting and should be avoided at all costs" Sounds like a personal problem to me. Perhaps seek out some help?

[@abbieblake8598]

My husband and I were both virgins when we got married. Reading the book "and they were not ashamed.," was a blessing. it helps women deal with good girl syndrome. Which is thinking sex is bad. It helped me finally relax enough to have a successful sexual experience.

[@AA-yl9so]

Good girl syndrome sounds kinky asf

[@immortal_SO]

This is true. Humans both male and female were innately shameless when completely nude. It is the way we were meant to be. Wasn't until eve ate from the tree of knowledge and convinced Adam to as well, that they learned what it meant to be embarrassed, ashamed, or humiliation of their own nakedness. When God asks his creation why do they hide from him on his return. Their answer to him is because they were naked. God asked who taught them that word "naked". He knew then and there that humans as he made us, are disobedient at times.

[@CRose9205]

​@@immortal_SONot Bible stories.....God isn't real. Grow up.

[@bjkarana]

@@immortal_SO So did Adam and Eve's offspring just have sex with each other when they came of age and started their own families?

[@GallowayJesse]

​@@immortal_SOnone of this actually happened in real life

[@heathercrass703]

I suffered from this when my husband and I first married. My husband was an absolute saint. So patient and kind. I’m super attracted to him and for sure wanted to have sex, but it was just sooo painful, like it was even painful to him because it was so clamped down. My GYM prescribed a medication that is a combo of a muscle relaxer and lidocaine. It is a thick cream injected into the vagina an hour before sex. It did make me very tired, due to the muscle relaxer, but it worked!! I also had to learn how to relax the pelvic floor because when the body expects pain it tenses up and everything closes. It’s a fear response. My husband was wonderful at being aware of my body and made me feel totally safe and relaxed, I knew he would never force anything so that really helped. Things are absolutely wonderful now!! I feel totally free with him and our love life is amazing. There is hope!

[@braddavid902]

Can you have children with that condition? That must be seriously painful

[@heathercrass703]

@@braddavid902I had all c-sections. I think other women can/do. Often the condition develops even after childbirth. It can be a fear response in anticipation of pain. It’s the body’s way of protecting itself.

[@janek3531]

LADIES LISTEN UP! Trojan longer lasting spray. Put it on him and put it in for a minute. It is a life saver.

[@irenelopps1852]

Thank you for sharing!

[@AnitaSoler]

I have so many questions. But they might sound disrespectful so I apologize for that but I have to ask about the mental aspects... What happened?? Please explain the mindset that causes this. My theory is toxic legalism in church culture causes this.

[@BassBwoy3]

What CJ said about how in Christiandom it goes from 'No Sex before marriage' to 'Have a bunch of sex' when you're married is very true. Nobody prepares you for the mental switch you have to take. Heck, it's hard enough trying to know what is too much in the dating phase.

[@amyj4438]

Facts! This happened to me. My husband wasn't a virgin...but he was my 1st. We had sex a hand full of times before we got married and he was always super supportive. I ALWAYS felt dirty and shameful. Then when we got married I felt "released" from the heaviness of it and was like "okay in ready to really do this thing" and he was completely taken off guard and confused. It completely threw everything off. We've had to do some work to rewire ourselves and our thoughts and Dr. DeLony is right. Me being a "good girl" was an identity thing. And I'm still unraveling it from being a "people pleaser". And I follow 2 other Christian women (who were virgins until marriage) who are ig influencers who married men who weren't virgins and both couples had major things to unravel. It's heavy. (Purity culture).

[@bernicehatsu3022]

The fact that people have had bad experiences doesn’t mean being pure as a Christian is bad To the girl who is keeping yourself, don’t let some experiences change you. God loves you.

[@bernicehatsu3022]

There is always a first time to have sex For Jesus lovers, the first time is in marriage

[@charliedeegan1598]

​@bernicehatsu3022 Nobody said it was. But shame that effects you to the degree that you can't have sex with your spouse is absolutely a problem.

[@daniellelm3]

Had no problem switching 🙂

[@kimberlyporter9555]

I have faith in this couple. They seem so wholesome. Best of luck in their efforts.

[@phipsdeus2]

Me too! I have a good feeling about them.

[@BirdDogey1]

He is a beta simp.

[@Rainer125]

I don’t, the guy seems super fun and sweet but women don’t respect that. I wonder if she would even have this issues with like a random Chad that is more of a man, I doubt it. She is probably not a virgin either.

[@BirdDogey1]

She will bail and get ran thru like the tunnel at KC Chiefs stadium.@@Rainer125

[@digthewarmth]

@@Rainer125 Please move on from that girl that hurt your feelings. You didn't owe a relationship and sex to every sweet girl that was ever into you, just like that girl didn't owe it to you to give you anything.

[@cameronrichardson1416]

Dr. John wasnt prepared for this energy 😂😂

[@Hunter2847]

I was catching tweaker vibes, i hope im wrong

[@katiepeter8794]

​@@Hunter2847he was probably just very nervous

[@DallasCoryell]

Bro waited his whole life to have sex and then this happened...so yeah...he's got some pent up energy😅

[@MrPushAT]

Exactly what I was thinking 😂..guy was ambushed

[@NoEvidenceForGod]

@@Hunter2847 You jump immediately to drug addict? Dafuq? Have you never met someone with naturally high energy before? I'm catching sheltered, home schooled vibes lol

[@K_M.G]

Honestly, this caller is the sweetest guy ever. I hope his wife knows and appreciates that and I hope the doctors can work with her to help her with her condition. I wish them both the very best. He deserves all the happiness. What a sweet soul. ❤

[@williamlackey123]

2:41 “yes, she’s been doing a great job” Way to support your wife as she navigates this difficult challenge. Respect brotha

[@mollyseely5115]

I’m surprised this is the first time I’ve heard of vaginismus on this show. It’s SOOOO COMMON. Just because people haven’t heard of it, that doesn’t mean its rare. I’m really grateful for his call. There are so many other men in his position. It feels so isolating because you feel like you can’t talk about it to anyone.

[@janelleg597]

❤❤❤ I also never heard about it until I experienced it

[@CrystalM1917]

It's been mentioned on the show, I don't think by a caller, but as a question from John to a caller.

[@GenChanger]

I'm a woman in her 40s and this is the first time I heard the medical term and that it is common. I always thought it was rare.

[@alluringbliss4165]

Didn’t know it was common. I suffer from it and gave up.

[@sydguitar99]

Its not common, estimates 0.5% to 5% of women experience it so its not that shocking even women dont know about it

[@Kyra-qn3nh]

He clearly loves her. I hope things work out for this guy.

[@mr.courtney5703]

First time I’ve seen a caller bring more energy to the beginning of the call than John. 😂He was shocked 😂👍

[@ericaaubie860]

This man needs a gold medel. Everyone needs a husband like this.

[@BarnzTT]

Most women do not deserve a good man.

[@ashleyhess6461]

A gold medal for being an actual partner instead of a selfish immature jerk who ONLY cares about sex? That’s a sad statement.

[@ST-rj8iu]

Men call when they are not getting laid. Women call about everything else.

[@laLouve22]

yeah.... i'm strating to seeing a pattern too ahahahahaha. But let's give props to this guy, he is very sincere and understanding. He is not asking how he can make his wife wants to get intimate with him (like others). He is asking how can he support her in all of this so it's refreshing to see.

[@Sasha-zl1xr]

Why is sex the only thing men care about? Doesn't anything else matter?

[@tyrabandz2845]

@@Sasha-zl1xrit’s sad but that’s how they are. hornballs

[@texan903]

​@Sasha-zl1xr sex is a need for men and how they connect with women, especially women they love. The biggest question is why don't you understand men well enough to care what they need?

[@georgemubanga1878]

The world would be a better place if people understood that men and women are not the same. What men value most is different from what women value most. It's not a good idea to shame people for what they value. Us men don't understand how painful periods are. Imagine if a man started saying to a woman going through period pains;"why are you so weak, can't you just be strong?" If you're really a loving person you have to pay attention to what your partner values. If your man values sex, give hi that if there are no health issues, or else go look for a man who doesn't value sex. If your woman values emotional intimacy give them that to the best of your ability, or else loog for a woman who does not value that. If you go into a relationship trying to change what your partner values, I'm sorry to tell you but you're a toxic person.

[@taylourreed5560]

This caller is so so sweet! Prayers for them 🙏🏻

[@malloreygarrett892]

I sobbed during this phone call because this was to a tee mine and my husbands situation. Problem was it was back in 2012 and so many doctors I talked do claimed they didn’t even know what vaginismus is. It was the most depressing and traumatic thing I ever went though. Everybody we talked to acted like this was unheard of and it wasn’t until 5 years later I found a doctor who listened to me and put me through the treatment I needed. We now have a beautiful son and married life is great. I’m so thankful that this topic is being discussed and normalized more because we suffered in silence for sooooo long.

[@Faithfullfertilitytv]

@malloreygarrett892 messaged you

[@AnitaSoler]

But what was the CAUSE? Something caused your MIND to shut down your body. What was the issue, who caused that thinking?

[@Rosie_C]

I think the hardest part is suffering through it. I recently heard very private info that my brother and his wife have a similar issue. They didn’t admit it and try to get help until after 3 years of marriage.

[@malloreygarrett892]

@@AnitaSoler my PT said it is caused by a variety of reasons. From hormonal imbalances and lack of estrogen in the body to trauma issues like sexual assault or growing up in a fearful religious upbringing. It’s different for every woman.

[@LanaABA]

@@AnitaSoler I have this condition and I really can't find the reason. It just hurts to insert things as if your vagina is small. Tried talking to a psychologist, working on it myself and have no idea what is The reason. I think, there is no particular one, just an anticipation of pain and negative experience of painful attempts. That's it, no past trauma, no bad parents, no religious background.

[@MayBlake_Channel]

"I have my own wants and desires" PRAISE THIS MAN for not calling them "needs"! Such a great husand! I hope he and his wife both find satisfaction in the near future ❤

[@joshtuk]

Is emotional intimacy and connection a need?

[@spencercorpuz]

They are needs though

[@joshtuk]

@@spencercorpuz she won’t answer

[@hayley179g]

@@joshtuk​​⁠​​⁠needs implies they need to be provided for, and in the context of sex it sounds r*pey. Fact is, he can survive without intercourse. I don't know the details of the condition, but for intimacy I suppose they can do other things. Are they "needs"? In a broader sense, but one act isn't something you should demand from a woman. Being without pain or injury is a more urgent need than needing to get laid.

[@smarternow]

My husband refused sex after marriage. It took 2 years to get it annulled. He had affairs and flaunted them in my face. It has been hell but done with the narcissist.

[@elijahpiere5324]

He refused sex with you, but decided to do it with other people?

[@janelleg597]

​​@@elijahpiere5324if he's an true narcissist then he got pleasure from the feeling of power, control, taunting and hurting someone else.

[@candyluna2929]

Good thing he refused sex with you. This way you don't get an std

[@faithinthejourney6409]

Mine was just gay and gaslighted me for ever wanting sex with him. Glad I released his zesty cheating ass back to the streets

[@Rouge1292]

WTF?🤣🤣

[@lesliekanengiser8482]

Pelvic floor therapy really does work wonders. It takes work, though. It isn't fun during the therapy(can be painful), but please stick with it. Also do research and learn what might feel good so that way when it does get better, you'll be able to pleasure each other. I literally used to scream because the pain was so bad when we tried. After the pelvic floor therapy, it's 1000 times better. And i am glad you're doing the research now, supporting her and she's trying to find the solution.

[@zeal4god402]

Thanks for sharing. There are healthy options out there

[@lsf71]

YOGA is the answer

[@meowy4720]

Pelvic floor exercises have nothing to do with this. What are you even talking about

[@francestaylor9156]

@@meowy4720- it can. Most people don’t understand how much pelvic floor therapy can help for a lot of things. It should be prescribed to women postpartum imo.

[@meowy4720]

@@francestaylor9156 It has nothing to do with so-called "vaginismus".

[@tiredtreasurestore]

I have this condition. And I can say. I wouldn't wish it. On my worst enemy. It really takes a toll. On your mental health. And self worth, as a woman..

[@PrettyBrownEyes718]

It can be cured. There is a facility called The Women's Therapy Center in NY. It can be done. Good luck.

[@jclark6153]

Yes go to the womens therapy center in Long Island New York. Me and my wife went and it worked!

[@potato1084]

What is this ad ??😂

[@emifukakado-msjoke]

jeez apparently new york is the place to go…it’s not really. there are plenty of doctors and therapists in any state that can help with this condition and help someone with this condition go about getting dilators and teaching them pelvic floor exercises.

[@yanasosnovskaya864]

@@PrettyBrownEyes718 there are a lot of places, some ladies get therapy and it helps. However, some cases it's more hard to overcome this condition because it's not one condition, but un umbrella of conditions.

[@augmatt1399]

I respect the hell out of this caller. Seems like a great dude and husband.

[@moniqrupley6019]

It sounds like he is being very supportive. And she is getting treated.

[@verachia8137]

It also sounds like they are being responsible and considerate of each other which is unheard of nowadays

[@johnnyceagles]

So supportive that she will end up taking advantage of him the rest of his life

[@verachia8137]

Why you make it sound as if this is her fault and she is not trying to make an effort. She is and she is being considerate of him. She is not using this as a power play. I have vulvadonia, sex is not pleasurable if these things aren't dealth with properly...you can feel so much pain like your insides being torn to shreds painful.... I also feel like if you are going through something don't project your opinion or situation onto other peoples lives....

[@Cwgrlup]

No she’s not. None of these people can fix this. She’s not seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist. No way this takes over a year to resolve. This is why you shouldn’t wait until marriage until sex.

[@verachia8137]

@@Cwgrlup i strongly disagree. because if they had both of them would still be single. Sex is not a whole relationship and the fact that they have an actual foundation to work off of is far safer for her and him. These things can be navigated, its not the end of the world. Women have no emotional security when they have sex before marriage. We are built different and catch feelings. Don't apply the same thought process of a man to woman.

[@benfontenot9896]

Wow hit the nail on the head! I had this trouble with my wife and she didn't see a doctor. Took us like 3 years before we started enjoying sex and let me tell you! It was psycologically stressful on me and her and it definitely hurt our marriage at the time. Just steady the course. Be patient and kind. Once she gets out of it, it will be amazing. Continue to be open and there is actually a benefit to it in that you are delaying that honeymoon phase and when you get passed this stressful time it will be like fireworks! If you can make your marriage good in this season, when shes able to start having sex and enjoying it, your marriage will be AMAZING.

[@lesliekanengiser8482]

Yes! I am glad you were supportive. I know it was difficult. Because i can guarantee your wife felt broken and didn't envision her sex life being like that. And then, it also caused problems for you obviously because it also messed with you mentally. It seems crazy to say get medical/psychological help to have sex but, it does need to happen that way for some people. Glad y'all are better now.

[@zeal4god402]

AMEEEEEEEN YAYYYYYYY

[@fairjordan]

Needed to see this. Same boat. 3 years in and it’s taken a toll. Been separated about 8 months now and still clinging to hope but there’s little to no connection. Your story gives me more hope. Happy to hear yall made it through

[@benfontenot9896]

@@fairjordan We had our ups and downs man. I’d say staying close to my religion and praying made a huge impact. But there was definitely some bad moments. Thankfully her dedication and commitment to me and my commitment to her helped us get through but man my head was in some bad places sometimes. A lot of times I had the thought of leaving. Especially in the beginning. And you have that wondering like is this gonna be forever. Just be patient. Talk to her. Have open communication about sex and what she likes and what is helpful to her. Communication is key. Hype her up when she has even the smallest of wins and be truly happy that she’s making progress. It’s all a mental game man and don’t take anything personally. It has nothing to do with you. I know it’s hard!

[@smilejesuslovesyou8108]

@@benfontenot9896amen for couples truly devoting themselves to marriage!!!!! Thanks for sharing!!!!

[@johncouch2115]

I was in the exact same situation. It took 3 years for us to have successful intercourse! There was definitely a psychological component (religious conservatism). Thank God that things got better! We’ve been married 10 years and going strong. 2 beautiful children.

[@makennazornes]

Saaaame

[@evage99]

It's so weird to me that otherwise godly people get hung up on "sex is dirty"...that's not scriptural, at all. God designed male & female bodies to be pleasurable to each other, specifically within marriage, not just for reproduction but for intimacy, that oneness mentioned first in Genesis.

[@sitka49]

@@evage99 Because the church is hung up on it- Marital debt, wifely duty, sex is for the husband. I read a christian marriage manual ( for the wife) from the 1920's and it had three paragraphs commiserating on why God would design reproduction (sex) this way. And if how and when your husband wants sex these are your step you need to do as a wife - and a lot these stigma's are still around to a degree. Look no farther than the purity culture - Some would argue they did some good ,but I think they did more bad.

[@hayley179g]

religious conservatitis lol

[@Sunfl0wer25]

She should ask for a referral for a pelvic floor therapist! They opened my eyes so so much.

[@standground8284]

*I think the problem is unrealistic expectations.* Many people who wait until marriage- romanticize the idea of an amazing wedding and promise of great sex, intimacy for the rest of their lives. They never factor in the trial and error aspect since both parties are inexperienced that realm. That is where communication has to be top notch in order for both to experience mind blowing, great sex and intimacy.

[@MartiniGTGP]

Exactly. These people be going 10 years into marriage with no female orgasms

[@carolallison9685]

Ive actually seen research that found that waiting until marriage can actually be pretty traumatic for women. I get that religious people want to be good Christians, but at the same time, the bible wasn't exactly written with womens rights in mind.

[@sitka49]

This is somewhat of extreme situation, it's one thing to have overall delusional expectations ( who doesn't - you certainly don't go into it with expecting the worst and hoping for the best attitude?) But their not having any intercouse, thats a lot of different? HJ- BJ, and oral sex for her is going wear thin after a while -and the reason his calling in. he's calling in about how better to support his wife but I think it was a bit of segway on how he can better cope with it. I mean sometime a wife will have a 10 top things on there list needs in a marriage and sex might be 9 or 10 on that list?

[@alwaysyouramanda]

I wonder if it’s like atrophy.. like has she never had the tingles till her adult life? I remember getting them at 12. An ex admitted he was doing the solo dolo at age SEVEN. Religion is a scary tool… imagine if breathing were against the Bible

[@MartiniGTGP]

@@alwaysyouramanda just holding their breath trying not to think about assassinating their meats 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Bav92]

Read the book “the great sex rescue”. Religious women have vaginismus at higher rates due to bad conceptions that this book uncovers and works through. Very research heavy. I loved reading it.

[@GameChanger597]

Very true! Women who have been told sex is shameful or dirty or wrong or at least gotten this subliminal message, have a much higher rate of this condition.

[@SuperBettyxoxo]

And women who are sexually active have a higher risk of cervical cancer due to risk of HPV exposure. Neither group should be nananiboobooing the other to feel good about themselves.

[@MistyEry]

Yesssss. 👏🏻

[@szilardfineascovasa6144]

I have yet to be in the company of averge Christians and hear them make sex as something shameful per-se, and not something wonderful to be celebrated inside the confines of the marriage. Was the study done on Medieval Catholic nuns that ran away from monasteries? Mothers should have "the talk" with their daughters, the same way fathers do. However, don't tell me the "fear of the new" today, due to a lack of information, when sex is everywhere, is the same as in Victorian England. I should probably take a look at that book - even n-th tier medical journals publish witg gusto "research" on FDA approved medications with us since the 70s, that supposedly castrate men. Written by people with "Dr" before their names. Until you take a look at who sponsored the study 🙂.

[@brodssn]

@@SuperBettyxoxowhat does one have to do with the other in regards to a comment under this?

[@heidiw3615]

This guy is incredibly mature and supportive. Great husband

[@laylalayla6630]

Sad thing is that all the times we reject our husband for sex men are told to jump through fiery hoops to see if they can convince us. If by any chance we happen to feel like doing it, which is rare, and he doesn’t then once again he has to jump through fiery hoops for us. They just can’t win.

[@crimsonxxspawn8613]

What a man of God! He is beyond patient, understanding and loving for his wife. Hope they make it through

[@laylalayla6630]

What I find interesting is how when we don’t want it we should be respected and its a man’s fault. He should jump through fiery hoops to try to convince us. If he doesn’t want it then something is wrong with him and once again he should jump through fiery hoops for her.

[@susangoodwin8067]

He needs to go to the doctor with her

[@bleudiamondbleu]

Many religions require waiting until marriage to have sex. Understand. Fair enough. However, it is ridiculous, to ridicule people (women especially) that sex is so bad. The ultimate sin. Don’t have a single sexual thought until marriage Blah blah and then NOT expect people to struggle once they get married. It’s literally impossible.

[@domblack6288]

Which religion says that sex is the ultimate sin?

[@bleudiamondbleu]

@@domblack6288no, I didn’t mean that literally. I’m saying having been raised in Christian household & youth group myself, (I know Mormons & Muslims experience this too) sex before marriage is talked about AS IF it is the ultimate sin

[@cur244]

Agreed, there's so much sexual shaming. There's a lot of radical religious thoughts and that's definitely one of them. I laugh at people that think a woman saving herself until marriage due to religion is a fool proof way to get a decent woman. I've been with women like that and it's a complete sexual nightmare.

[@Callme_Paola]

I think the problem is unrealistic expectations, religious people tend to romanticize the wedding night and promising amazing sex after waiting until marriage but they don’t talk about the fact that for people who have never had sex or don’t have a lot of experience it is going to take some trial and error and some time before getting into the place where they can both experience great sex. Me personally I would rather figure things out with my husband because I know he cares and loves me instead of random guy or a man who is not committed to me

[@domblack6288]

@@bleudiamondbleuI agree. Purity culture definitely missed the mark there.

[@christinamarie3374]

My husband and I struggle too with me having endometriosis. This is such an important conversation. So real and raw and definitely something that is not talked about but experienced by so many!

[@Sandra-wv3ow]

Attending those appointments together is great advice!

[@24kGanksta]

These shows are actively helping my marriage Dr. John Thank you from the bottom of my heart

[@LilDusty5528]

Me too, as a woman it helps me out a lot with how to please my man mentally, physically and spiritually.

[@kae811italia]

I was waiting for a call like this. I have not been married but been with my boyfriend for two years. Almost a year ago I started having more pain with sex due to vulvodynia with no clue how it started. I still did things but it was more painful for me. Never did I not want to do things. Thankfully after MONTHS I feel better but am glad to have had someone supportive throughout it. It is amazing how common vulvar or vaginal pain is and it can take a while to get diagnosed or find treatment that works. It is a shame

[@clairetaylor3365]

Hey there, I'm glad you're feeling better! I was wondering if you were on HBC at all? I had vaginismus and vulvodynia which made me feel awful (luckily my bf was incredibly supportive) but when I came off of HBC it began to get better and now I don't have either

[@michelleblush1758]

You might want to check out the low oxalate diet.

[@DallasCoryell]

It really hit me when John spoke to him about spouses needing to be able to talk about difficult things and unment needs without judgement or taking offense, arguing, etc. Understanding this concept of spouses talking about EVERYTHING, with no topics off-limits, with both people controlling their emotions, is absolutely key to a healthy relationship. In my experience, this element is missing from most marriages I have come in contact with.

[@JackMason-oq8lf]

Have some sex before you jump the gun. If there are problems, you will have time to talk about them before you do something you'll regret. Maybe you can work things out before you take the plunge without knowing how deep is the pool. If sex is important, fix it before you move in together, before you take out a thirty-year mortgage.

[@davinasquirrel7672]

Good for him and not blaming her, and him wanting to know the best way to help her through this. I wish them the best

[@bjaded6695]

He’s a wonderful and loving, patient man. She’s lucky to have him. There’s something more going on than this condition she has because that’s a long damn time.

[@brianmcdonald7017]

He's a simp

[@Nature-ep5cu]

​@@brianmcdonald7017 Incel🍼

[@sarahrobertson634]

There is so much more to life than sex.

[@jo-eo9ld]

Sounds like shame or trauma. There’s a mental block she needs to release. I’ve experienced similar in a less serious way, but it’s possible to overcome and actually enjoy yourself

[@phatbetbruh]

​@@sarahrobertson634spoken like a woman.

[@heatherbukowski2102]

He clocked a huge problem with Christianity re: the whole "sex is bad your whole life and then suddenly it's supposed to be good". Hard to undo a lifetime of internalized hatred within a single night. It makes no sense and is harmful.

[@lilpandanesegirl]

no sex is not seen as bad. it is for married couples. not to be having sex with random people. it serves as a protection and also its to have children and continue the human race. and children do better with both mom and dad compared to single parents. sex before marriage can lead to diseases and unwanted pregnancies etc.

[@Moriningland]

@@lilpandanesegirlbut the most conservative Christian areas of nation have higher STD rates and teen pregnancies. So if this is the best way to live your life, why does it result in the worst outcomes? Religion absolutely teaches unhealthy attitudes about sex and it doesn’t even help society. Those are just the facts. Teens should be taught about safe sex, consent and have access to abortions if they need one

[@ladev91]

It doesn't seem to be a problem for 99 percent of Christians. Don't take an exception and make it the rule.

[@kimberly5465]

I think the narrative needs to be said in truth. It is good, but bad at this time.

[@heatherbukowski2102]

sorry, but no. you can't just teach kids, especially girls, that it's dirty and gross their whole lives and expect them to totally ditch the shame when it's suddenly time to enjoy it just because of the marriage loophole. you can practice safe sex without marriage. and you can also get married and not have kids, and be perfectly happy and satisfied. :) @@lilpandanesegirl

[@AlishaH-fo8qv]

Oh my goodness... He's such a sweet, patient husband. His question was so respectful to his wife. I hope she can find the treatment that works soon. ❤❤❤

[@qazsurfer]

Aww this guy sounds so nice and honest

[@danielejaclyn]

Have so much respect for this caller

[@lumenesque1]

Wow! What a ray of sunshine ☀️ All honor & love to this couple.

[@primordialmeow7249]

John’s assessment is spot on. My heart was so sad listening to this young man’s “elevated” words. He is trying soooooo hard. I think John can help him.

[@beautyharbour]

What a thoughtful and fantastic call

[@Astral100]

Man, the energy of this guy is off the charts! He sounds like someone that would make a great friend

[@TheAlixAmanda]

This guys sounds really sweet! My boyfriend sometimes struggles with being honest with his emotions with me too and I try my best to create a space for them in our relationship free of judgment but it’s sad how often men are told to just ignore their emotions.

[@CRose9205]

Men have no choice but to not show emotions, as the vast majority of women, even the ones who swear they like that stuff, don't really like it. The truth is, women find negative emotions, crying, sadness, extremely unnatractive. And at the end of the day, there's no point in putting your relationship at risk. Have a friend who cried in front of his gf of 5 years. A year later, she left him and admitted it was because she didn't see him as a man anymore. This was a girl who was raised right with no trauma.

[@chocovanille5809]

@@CRose9205 i am telling you! You are right!!!! Women love to lie to themselves

[@alberttang6955]

@@CRose9205 A woman instinctively desires a male who can protect both her and her offspring. And she rejects a male who she determines is weak and unable to fulfill that role. It's a feature of human evolution that hasn't changed in thousands of years. A man who cries, reveals his insecurities, shares his fears, etc only diminishes himself in a woman's eyes.

[@two_point_0805]

Evolution is false. It doesn’t bring about any morality. Only God can do that. He gave us our desires for sex and we as humans twisted it and ruined His creation. Women look for strong men because that’s how God designed them. The question is, what makes a man strong? I’d say being slow to anger, able to deescalate situations, being able to be vulnerable to his spouse or closest friends, and discern what is wise in a situation. These are characteristics of a disciple of God. The more a man reflects God, the more attractive he is to the ladies. I’ve personally seen it.

[@katiechapman6473]

This guy is definitely a keeper

[@BirdDogey1]

I'm sure his wife will let you have him.

[@Penelope_Paris]

Love is patient, Love is kind. 🙏🏽❤️ This will make your relationship stronger.

[@BruceJC75]

My dad and stepmom have never had sex and she refused to ever get any help. Total sexless marriage and no emotional intimacy. Just two people who are afraid of being alone and extremely “religious”.

[@murdahmammiez]

Thats really sad.... was ur dad getting it elsewhere?

[@sarahdoanpeace3623]

I couldn’t do that. Period.

[@chaitanyagupta6668]

@@sarahdoanpeace3623 you're not in the position. the dad is probably 40-50s, the fear of loneliness is real.

[@dcarr-kr7hk]

@BruceJC75... Any wife that doesn't feel compelled to get hep? Religious? Yes! Godly? Nope. Any wife who has a genuine relationship with Jesus would know that she CANNOT remain that way. She would/should be compelled to try and get help so as to be a blessing to her husband and be able to express herself in it's fullness. If no one is getting any help? I feel sorrow for them both. 😞 Personally? I would let him go and free him to marry someone else.

[@flowerpower3618]

How do you know this? Gross

[@alluringbliss4165]

That’s another reason I decided to be single. It made me feel very insecure and my arousal has disappeared.

[@georgemubanga1878]

I don't blame you, marriage can either be the best or the worst thing to ever happen to you. And you can not always predict how it would turn out to be

[@rebeccaspratling2865]

​@@georgemubanga1878if you rush into marriage with someone you don't know thoroughly that's true. Too many people get married too soon. I think people should live together for at least 5 years before committing to something like marriage. You can't truly know someone after only a year especially if you don't live together.

[@juliochivichon7977]

That’s so sad

[@cooliipie]

Wtf

[@jwalker3343]

Same for me but I'm a guy with a small pecker. I've rejected a few advances and the regret is palpable,

[@julia_gib3300]

I had this for a couple months after my first child was born. I had a 3rd degree tear. I’m pretty sure it was 99% psychological. My husband was wonderful about it. I did a lot of self talk and prayer to overcome it.

[@yanasosnovskaya864]

it could be a combo psychological and physical.

[@joshuamancarter]

You and your husband at least enjoyed a sex life before the birth of your child. This man doesn't have that intimate memory to rely on.

[@julia_gib3300]

@@joshuamancarter That’s true. But my point is that it can go away. And they can go on to have a normal sex life.

[@dear.ambelina]

What an absolute gem of a man. Make sure she's following through on what she needs to do and just continue being amazing.

[@asia2067]

This is an amazing conversation! Respect

[@Joy-xe6df]

Geez this man calling about his wife IS such a gem! What a respectable young man. We need more men like this! I hope things turn around quickly for both of them.

[@SofiUk0319]

Oh my goodness, sir, you are a very good man ❤ i hope you guys are able to get through this very painful and difficult time ❤

[@two-wheels7397]

Prayers for this couple.

[@rachelrucker5642]

Amen!

[@fallenxstari]

really good man. strength comes in many forms. i salute you 🫡

[@eurekahope5310]

This is more common than we know. It is a shame this condition is not widely known so couples can get help without feeling shame or defeat. I hope the best for this couple. Both couples I know with this condition have healed and are married more than a decade with children!

[@sarahrobertson634]

Puritanism will mess women up pretty good.

[@eas2252]

My wife and I had a similar story. Married right around 30 years old. Waited until marriage, never done anything but make out with anyone before. We took things slow because we knew there would need to be an adjustment period. A few weeks in we attempted intercourse. Best description; access denied. She was way too tight. We would be intimate in other ways but intercourse was impossible for months. Thankfully, during a gynecology visit, her doctor found out how painful things were for my wife. This angel showed my wife a trick that changed everything. Our sex life is possible because of this doctor. Doctor had my wife lube up and insert one finger about 2" then press gently but firmly towards the butt. It'll be uncomfortable but NOT painful. This stretches the muscles on the base of the vagina. For the first time ever my wife experienced a pain free gynecological exam. That weekend we gave it a shot. Usual foreplay followed up with her stretching, lot's of lube and her being on top to better control the rate of penetration. It was slow going but we got in! Intercourse is fantastic for us both now. (Guys, your hands should not be idle 😉)

[@JoanneGuelke]

What a helpful post! I wonder if that will solve the problem for most couples and they can avoid all the doctor appointments? Once full penetration happens once is it smooth sailing or is the digital pre-stretching required every time?

[@eas2252]

@JoanneGuelke I'm sure this will help many people but not all. My wife's issue was physical, not psychological. Some people have decades of repressed sexuallity (usually based on religious beliefs. Why we waited ourselves). It's difficult to go decades abstaining and saying "no, no, no, I'm not supposed to" and then magically change to "let's do this!" Because of this, some people may require both mental and physical therapy. Depends on how frequently we are sexually active. If life gets busy and it's been a few weeks, she repeats the exercise before penetration. When we are more frequent, she usually doesn't have to, but sometimes still does. This exercise can be incorporated into foreplay though.

[@eas2252]

@magenta7702 bigger issue. God loves you and will forgive you regardless. Learn to forgive yourself. Nobody is perfect. Everybody sins in different ways. We are all guilty but shouldn't feel ashamed. Take joy and try to do better.

[@Nastasyashanti]

I like how you pointed that you both satisfied each other other ways. As a woman who rarely gets off during intercourse it’s a nightmare for me to end up with a guy who only views intimacy as stick 🍆 inside

[@GTRKT-qr5sf]

​@@magenta7702Yes, but God forgives regardless if you repent. Just dont tell someone you are a virgin because that might be misleading to a partner and not honest. Or at least tell them exactly what youve done and they can decide whether its a dealbreaker or not.

[@Qeqezwisdom]

THIS is a good man, Savannah! This is a man of God! His wife is a lucky woman to have such a compassionate, loving man to support her through this difficult season in their marriage and in her life. Love this!

[@janelleg597]

*Thank you to John's staff for this call*

[@witchapparatus]

One thing that people don't consider is that sex doesn't have to be penetrative. They both have hands and mouths and she has thighs and breasts. There are so many ways you can give pleasure to your beloved without going into their body, but I won't list them here. (I'm trying not to be vulgar.) What I'm getting at is, just because there is no penetration right now, doesn't mean that there has to be no pleasure and intimacy while she works through this. This husband seems to be a very sweet man. I wish them both the best.

[@lesliekanengiser8482]

He did say they're doing stuff besides that. So that's good. That means she is willing and trying to fix the issue and see what they enjoy

[@manichairdo9265]

Vulgar? The word has negative connotations. Edit...add - explicit. 🎉

[@timsimmons9995]

WTF is the point of marriage then, for a man? To just get jerked off? No. Sex is one of the few things women actually provide. Take that away, may as well be single. (Men generally provide: financial security, physical security, shelter, food, vehicles, retirement security, home repairs and traditional male tasks, emotional support, etc. Women provide sex, and sometimes children and house chores). Without sex men may as well stay single and just get a dog. If a man wants kids he can adopt.

[@jillm.1108]

Don’t forget the bum!

[@joshuamancarter]

That's foreplay. Men want real sex

[@lindsey3481]

I highly recommend the book The Unveiled Wife. It addresses this exact issue.

[@juliequates9529]

Yes!

[@karenolivier2306]

Bare Marriage Podcast has a lot of information on this topic. Worth checking out as another resource.

[@Uhfffyeah]

Wow. I am incredibly impressed with your quick thinking and advice. Keep doing good work. You're needed in this sick society. Hopefully I can step in your footprint one day.

[@HelloIamClay]

Damn I really needed this conversation 24 years ago.

[@maylinrodriguez7661]

This happened to me too!! The husband is so brave talking about this. Pelvic floor therapy helped especially with dilators. Part of it is the anxiety of the lack of control so her starting with that helps. Best advice I heard is to Relax your pelvic floor as if you have been holding your pee for hours before anything going in. I love that John knew about the condition but he made it seem like it’s curable immediately. This can still take many more months of baby steps and set backs. After the hurdle you guys will be so thankful for all the little victories. I now have 3 kids. Never imagined that my first year of marriage with this. Much love ❤❤❤

[@lcbcomments]

Lots of people have this. In this world, no one wants to admit. It can be psychological because of abuse. One girl had this because gynecologist did exams that were painful. Docs should be mindful of this. Your pelvic muscles naturally tense up as a reflex from foreign objects of any kind. People can have it after childbirth, trauma. This can be helped with Botox injections. Sounds weird, but helps relax muscles. Read the book, “When Sex Seems Impossible” by Peter T. Pacik. He and others have clinics that can cure or help tremendously using Botox and some therapy. I have a friend’s daughter who did the Botox to relax the pelvic wall muscles and it worked. Has 3 children naturally.

[@nleem3361]

Thanks for the book and treatment recommendations.

[@96s40]

I have primary V. I’m not exaggerating to say that before treatment any penetration/ insertion attempt was impossible and the pain was excruciating. When the attempt causes excruciating pain barely 1cm in, it at all, it’s a form of trauma that just compounds itself and the body becomes ruled by the unconscious mind. Incredibly frustrating condition and Dr John’s understanding of the condition is pretty superficial. He seemed surprised that she’s in treatment but it’s still not possible, when in fact this is something many women & girls struggle with for years. Botox may work as plaster as the muscles are paralysed (rather than relaxed) but unless the person is committed to having routine Botox, and the associated risks, there almost certainly needs to be psychosexual therapy in most cases.

[@lcbcomments]

I think there are varying degrees. I think you’re right about it compounding. My friend associated painful gynecological exams with penetration. The way I understand it is the body then protects itself by tightening up the muscles just as other body parts protect from invasions. I think the Botox could help some of the psychological effects because once it works, it may help the unconscious mind. Maybe depends on severity. The sooner the better for treatment. I think my friend only had one Botox treatment, but I’m not sure. Therapy would probably be needed in a lot of cases.

[@two_point_0805]

I love this couple for their strength through their hardship, and how they’ve kept their sexuality pure through it. To those who say not to wait for marriage because of things like this, here’s what God has to say about you. Hebrews 13:4 ”Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.“ If you say there is no God, you are deceiving yourself because this universe is balanced on a knife that has an edge thinner than an atom. This world is intelligently and intentionally made and Jesus loves you so much He died for you on Calvary 2000 years ago. Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will make Himself known to you. Your pride will be your downfall and your death evidence to you that God is deadly serious about sin. The only way out of Hell is through Jesus because He paid your fine on the cross. Repent and believe today!

[@johnsnyder751]

This is absolutely brutal. I was married in 2020 and while I wasn't a virgin, my wife was. We did not mess around during the 1.5 years of dating. We were not able to have intercourse for the 2 years of the marriage. From my perspective, we didn't know what it was and there was no interest on her part to figure it out. Here attitude was this is just me and I can't do anything about it, this is just how it is. Instead of talking about it, we both shut down completely. It led to a great deal of anger and frustration on my part and we working through a divorce now. This has been the most traumatic experience of my life with no help from the church or most counselors.

[@sjg5994]

😟😟😟...I'm so sorry.

[@robynalvin2849]

No, the church is not any help in a lot of things, including this. If it’s not a common thing within in a particular group, they don’t know what to do with it. I have a female relative who had this, and it is a real thing. Imagine approaching something is supposed to be glorious and it’s nothing but pain. All that to say, the woman should still seek medical treatment if it’s available. It is treatable, but the woman has to be willing and the husband has to be patient. Nevertheless, the church is really have no help and yes I’m a Christian.

[@sydoly123]

She was living in shame hence she chose denial rather than figuring out. In her mind she feels less than a woman and it's a big pain to carry.

[@user-et8bb8eh6t]

I went through something VERY similar except for the divorce. We have two beautiful children now, but the first couple years was SOO hard. If you need any advice please let me know!

[@Mewa-tv6qc]

I think you mean *ex-wife, she’s not yours anymore. You don’t own the woman. Good luck.

[@grandmasewhappyhomestead187]

This guy the love and respect he has for his wife is so sweet. Praying that things keep gettig better for them. Dr John you were amazing with the advice.

[@JackMason-oq8lf]

Shouldn't this guy have some respect for himself? Keep turning the other cheek so much....sooner or later you're going to get whiplash.

[@SeraphinaRuthman246]

This guy is the sweetest person to have ever came on your show. I don't even know him that well at all, but the way he speaks about his wife makes him hot. 😂. I hope all works out for them. Some women have had this and they just needed physical therapy to help. Hope the doctors can guide her on what she needs to do so they both can enjoy s3x together. Best wishes. 💖

[@queenofthebutterflies5212]

He's a hero, right??? This man's loyalty and devotion is true heroism.

[@thabulos]

As a Christian man, I found the caller completely obnoxious. There's no way he is gonna Ned Flanders this for much longer and the doctor picked up on that.

[@jaclynkiszczak230]

This is a good husband. He's doing everything he can and knows to do to support his wife and although this can be a tough conversation, asked for help. This is what being a man is. Keep it up! Sending positive thoughts to you and your wife. I hope everything goes smoothly for her treatment.

[@neechee5150]

@jaclynkiszczak230 Out of curiosity what does she, the wife need, to be doing at this time to make sure that she is being a real woman?

[@jaclynkiszczak230]

@@neechee5150 great question! I haven’t been in this situation but if this were my best friend, I would advise her to be communicative, praise her husband so he doesn’t start doubting his ability in bed, and try to be sexually involved in other ways that don’t involve penetration. A large majority of women don’t get an orgasm from penetration so this could be a great opportunity for this couple to explore other sexual activities like oral, tantric sex, and finding out what turns each of them on. Ultimately the wife in this situation should keep moving forward with her treatment and figure out together, how she and her husband can each be sexually satisfied without penetration in this season. Communication is key. My husband and I have been married for 2.5 years, together for 7 years. A great tool that we use is if I say something to him, he’ll tell me what he heard and vice versa. For example, if I said “Babe could you just please do the dishes?” And the way I said it came across to him like I was saying “Man, you’re so annoying. Why haven’t you done the dishes already?” Then I can understand how I come across to him and vice versa. 99% of the time we don’t realize that we’re coming across the way the other hears it and we’ve been able to communicate so much better. Hope that is helpful!

[@2intriguing1]

I needed Dr. John about 10yrs ago. My marriage is so far gone.

[@braddavid902]

I’m sorry to hear that

[@2intriguing1]

@braddavid902 thank you, you're kind

[@Ratz_ow]

Why?

[@emg708]

I felt that exact same way about 6 years ago. I hope things get better for you. It is so difficult.

[@heynewmama5279]

Fun Fact: vaginismus is 3x more common among women who grow up in conservative christian purity culture, than it is in the general population.

[@MJCosterr]

They sound like a great couple. I wish them all the best ❤❤❤

[@daphblue]

I have a friend in a situation like this. I can’t imagine how painful it must be

[@janelleg597]

There is hope. And healing. It takes work, therapy, patience, and extreme consistency. I went through it, and I'm doing very well, and much of that is owed to my awesome hubby. Tell your friend they're not alone!!

[@quadassio]

How did you help it ?​@@janelleg597

[@mykamcgane6726]

This man is a real gem and a true husband

[@shereesiljac9340]

Such a great guy to ask for help. For supporting his wife and being understanding. He is all in and willing to participate in the hard stuff from day one of his marriage. He is a good man. His parents should be proud.

[@Attabasca]

This guy! Love him. He sounds like he really wants to do right by her with this and I love that for her.

[@AB4Jss]

This couple seriously need marriage counselling, relationship & health coaches for support. There’s hope.

[@hansonallie]

This guy is already making my day…

[@linak7155]

Dr Delony, I liked that you were completely prepared to tackle all the ramifications of this issue. You handled it with truthfulness and compassion. This young man is now better equipped to understand and stay strong. This couple will be in my prayers. I thought I was the only person in the world to have dealt with this conflict (in my twenties). I'm now an old woman and happily married for almost thirty years. ❤

[@BarbaraMarieLouise]

Really good advice! This is a challenge on one hand and for shorter. And it seems that on another hand it’s a big blessing! Because as both are willing to go through this struggle together they are learning so much to treat each other right that this will become a really good marriage!!

[@maef7026]

He should be going to these appointments with her.

[@daughteroftheking3220]

Yes to this

[@MarcelaBriones7]

Praying for this couple! 🙏🏻🤍

[@ivonned32]

This dude is GOLDEN!

[@mellisaingram609]

What a blessing to have a husband like this.

[@Eniphesoj90]

What a great episode. I am not a Christian, and I didn't ever consider waiting until marriage, but I too suffered from vaginismus and this just hits the nail. I have gotten so much BS advice ranging from "just relax" to "oh, penetration isn't all that important anyway" to "well, if he doesn't want to stay with you he probably just does not like you all that much anyway". When in reality I didn't know how to relax, penetration IS important and no matter how much you like each other, it just sucks for everyone involved. So yeah, thank you for not going that route. So my two cents: - To the guys out there, it isn't you. I have had trouble with literally EVERY guy I tried it until I sought treatment. - Yes, it sucks that you are not having sex. She probably isn't happy about it either. I was also unhappy, because women want to experience sex too. You are allowed to say it. Not in an accusatory way, but there is nothing wrong with voicing your feelings. - She wants it too, otherwise she wouldn't be going to all these appointments. - And this is not forever. Vaginismus is very treateable. I got rid of it within a couple of months. You'll be having a full sex life before you know it, I can promise you.

[@merie1969]

Thanks for not equating it to a religious thing. I think women should be aware of this issue. We need a space for that without it being the womens fault, and supporting eachother.

[@Eniphesoj90]

@@merie1969 Yes, and also, there is so little information about vaginismus. When I looked up information when I was in that situation, almost all I got were stories of people who had grown up in purity culture, and while that can certainly cause vaginismus, I also didn't find it relatable. It would have helped to have a story about someone more secular who didn't find out about it on her wedding night.

[@jasonrodgers9063]

When my father passed (20+ years ago) I was going through the contents of his office, and I found a note from my grandfather to my grandmother when they were newlyweds, circa 1918. He had given her an ultimatum that after SIX MONTHS of being married and they STILL hadn't consummated their union, that he would file for an annulment. The fact that I'm here proved that it worked! THANKS, Granddad!

[@ayaatpapaya]

He sounds dreamy 🙄

[@amariterese]

I’m a woman and I don’t blame your grandpa one bit.

[@tpham7632]

Sometimes you aren't sure until you live together

[@mangococonutmonkeys]

This guy on the phone is such a good man. His wife is a lucky lady. I wish them the best on their journey together :)

[@sakurisake4201]

Sounds like a happy and positive husband, joking around and caring etc.

[@babyelephant3077]

Nervous Nellie This guy doesn’t miss btw Happy I found this channel

[@itslochjess2111]

Christian identity for WOMEN, there's a whole other level. You're told that virginity is a massive part of WORTH as a human being. You're told it's your most precious thing, the part of you that holds the most value, and that when it's gone you'll never be the same again, and you can never get it back. There's waaaaaaaaay too much baggage attached to that.

[@madderlakevideoproductions4560]

Yup, purity culture really messed with a couple generations of Christian couples, piling shame where there shouldn’t have ever been any

[@annstropes2236]

Exactly.

[@NuffinEdited]

Because it is. It's not baggage

[@rebekahwilson7703]

He really loves her:I hope she realizes how blessed she is.♥️

[@jroark101]

I wish these two the best! I’m glad they are still engaging in 4 play etc but I really hope they can find success with treatment

[@AtomicValery]

I feel for them both. They are both suffering. I hope they are both able to get some relief….soon.

[@bleudiamondbleu]

It’s sex. Not an illness. Calm down.

[@GUITARTIME2024]

​@@bleudiamondbleulol classic!!!

[@lilfirerbunny]

For anyone who has a relatively healthy to high sex drive, this can absolutely cause all kinds of issues and distractions. The wife might be feeling all kinds of things about herself that she shouldn't regardless of his support and reassurance. I agree, I hope they get relief soon.

[@Bidenvoterguy]

He will get relief from another womam

[@Jeremy-wp4yh]

@@Bidenvoterguy is that what happend to you?