I Told My Girlfriend She's A BAD MOTHER For Charging Her Daughter Rent r/Relationship

[@dracawyn]

"She must have me in third place. 1st her daughter. 2nd herself, and 3rd me." Look at this man and his healthy relationship ideals.

[@Deedoof]

He was fine being #4 behind the family pet, this man was raised right!

[@dougmartin2007]

I am thinking the mom just said he was priority because she thinks that is what he wanted to hear. Too bad for her as that was the wrong answer.

[@streamerssaymyname]

​@@dougmartin2007 it sounds like she has a habit of making the men she date a priority, and let them misbehave with her and her daughter just to keep them around. She was willing to promise anything to keep the relationship, she was never going to uphold those promises though.

[@επιθετικόακτινιδιο]

He is one of the most likable OPs ❤

[@επιθετικόακτινιδιο]

​@Doug Martin even if that was the case, which wasn't, still not healthy or ok. Highly manipulative and not someone who you should take seriously

[@themayhemofmadness7038]

Story 1: Am I the only one who thinks that Ashlee was looking to force her daughter out just so she could be alone with OP? And the update where she admitted that OP is her priority seriously just reinforced that for me. OP is definitely NTA.

[@Alberto-wu1mj]

It appears that the mother focuses on her relationships than her daughter. That was the vibe I got when the daughter said the mother had other bad boyfriends with some being addicts.

[@lifewithlee6298]

I’m guessing Ashlee will have to do a lot of self reflection before she gets another boyfriend

[@dandotvid]

I don't think that's it. I think she was brought up to think that's how things go. Also, per Susan, Ashlee's past relationships were not with good men. Maybe she never knew what a good relationship was, so it just modeling things after how she's been taught they should be. I don't think OP should have jumped straight to "I can't be with someone who doesn't put their daughter first" in this situation. I think Ashlee could do with some therapy to see where her relationship dysfunction came from.

[@colleens1107]

@Lifewith Lee She won’t. I bet you that she’ll have a new guy within a couple months. Remember what Susan said about her moms previous boyfriends. This is not a woman who chooses to live without a man and who prioritizes said bf over her kid

[@RobDaCajun]

@@dandotvid that’s not his problem to fix. Besides, until Ashley decides for herself to change. It will be futile. Don’t get me wrong I feel for Susan. But OP’s not her Dad. I guarantee you will start some shite against Op. if he tries to maintain a fatherly relationship with Susan without being with Ashley.

[@dimsufferer9951]

“I can do what I want with her” that right there. The girlfriend does not see her daughter as a person, just as an extension of herself she can squeeze money (and probably labor) from

[@jbrennan381]

That's what set me off too. And OP made some extremely well thought out points against her

[@xirochamber5863]

That’s the funny thing, if the daughter did pay rent then she would be eligible for renters rights which severally limits what her mom can legally do in regards to parenting. For instance if she is paying market price then her mom legally cannot put curfews and lock her out from her house unless agreed upon both renter and rentee

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

There’s also the line of “it’s about time she starts paying rent”, when she not quite 18 yet. Which sounds to me like she’s long thought of her daughter as a financial burden, not a daughter. I bet she so wanted her daughter to pay rent long before this.

[@69inetails]

The mom in the first story kinda gives me “I never wanted kids” vibes. If she doesn’t give half a crap about her own kid , then wut she gunna do when she all alone with no one.

[@Sunari]

Pretty sure he said he wanted kids too so not sure what her plan there was

[@splashtyphoon6606]

She wanted the child support, and most likely, it stops when the kid turns 18

[@bunnyslippers191]

@@splashtyphoon6606 If she's getting child support that continues at least until the child graduates from high school and it can continue until they are out of college if the judge orders that. It's the payments to foster parents that stop when the child hits 18. That's a huge flaw in the foster system since most kids turn 18 before they graduate from high school. If they turn 18 before they graduate and the foster parents kick them out that practically guarantees the child will never finish high school and have a much harder life without that diploma. It limits their earning potential for life.

[@yamiarisu49]

The mom sounds like she had her kids young, because it seems (in the Latino at least) the older parents are like, "Oh no, you staying here until you get married, now lemme show you how to cook,"

[@pippo17173]

Her dating addicts seems to tell me that she really wanted to stay parent free

[@Swnsasy]

Wait, what?! She's angry that you missed the birth of your child because you were IN THE HOSPITAL WITH A DISORDER THAT COULD KILL YOU?!?! Wtf wow!! Men are in the military and miss the birth.. That's life, unpredictable.. This is insane to be upset about this knowing you're in the hospital with a life ending disorder... Nta

[@pippo17173]

@Timothy Robertson And for a year no less. Like ya it could be NAH if this was shown in a week and shows a issue about the future she is worry but a freaking year? That relationship is on very fin ice at this point and I think the kid is gonna go threw hell in the early years.

[@palomalovesu1]

It mostly has to do with being scared. Both situations where very important and medical emergencies. Being alone and giving birth without support and knowing the only one that you wanted there that gives you comfort could be dying is not something to scoff at. It could have been the same the other way around if she had complications and he was getting treatment but not able to see her. The problem is the lack of talking about the medical elephant in the room and the hard questions about the very real hypotheticals.

[@pippo17173]

@@palomalovesu1 I hope the two did a long therapy session because I'm gonna be honest, they are not gonna last long

[@JLee-gm6jx]

At that point would she rather her baby have a father who couldn't attend the birth or the baby grow up without a father

[@StefenBruh]

​@@palomalovesu1 did you miss the part where the girlfriend had at least ber brother who came to let OP know about the birth? She wasn't alone. OP was alone and dying in the hospital. Not once does it mention OP getting visitation in the hospital even though OP was there days before the girlfriend gave birth. Let's not pretend she cares about OPs health. If she did she would have visited in the hospital. She cares that OP might potentially die and she's now on the hook for 100% of child raising. There's no therapy to solve that, just leaving and finding a new girlfriend. Which would be stupid simple here, they're lesbians and not married, OP can literally walk away and probably not even have to pay child support. It's what I would do

[@owl7072]

Story 3: Op: _literally dying_ Her: How dare you miss the birth of our child!!! Edit: "You both need to learn to communicate" she held on to resentment over something Op had no control over for a _year_ and didn't say anything. How is Op supposed to communicate better when she wouldn't even admit something was wrong????? And how is she supposed to act calm and communicate clearly when she suddenly blows up at her, again, over something Op had no say in and acts like she was a horrible person for it?????

[@jbrennan381]

Yeah, they don't "need to learn to communicate." She needs to learn to communicate and work through her issues instead of projecting onto her wife.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

I agree. Also in the first story they said he could've acted better after hearing the mum basically kicking out an 18 y/o. What was he supposed to do, sit and watch the kid being financially abused? People on reddit seem to implant "communication issues" and "should've acted more maturely/less on emotions" to every story now.

[@sasakimirai4318]

The comments saying that OP's girlfriend isn't an asshole are so fucking annoying. It's true that she's allowed to feel the way she does, but the part that made her an asshole was how she was treating OP for something that wasn't even her fault.

[@rainbows5232]

@@sasakimirai4318 which is how? talking about it? how did she even treat him

[@sasakimirai4318]

@@rainbows5232 First of all OP is also a woman, it was quite literally in the first line of the story. Second of all, did you miss the part where OP planned a whole romantic date night to pamper her girlfriend, but the girlfriend was acting bitter enough that it was obvious to OP, and then proceeded to argue with OP about something that wasn't in any way OP's fault? The time to talk about these kinds of feelings is when you notice them start to develop. You don't just let it fester for a whole year until it all bubbles over and explodes out of you when your partner is trying to do something nice for you. OP isn't a mindreader, how is she supposed to know that her girlfriend is having these kinds of feelings?

[@oanaenache991]

I find it very selfish of parents that ask for market rent right when their kid turns 18, their kids will probably experience the lowest chances o ever owning a home compared to any previous generation and their parents on top of deciding to have a kid and throw them into the world without making sure they get the education and path their want, they also lower the money the kid can save as well, this is just so uncompassionate

[@NoMoreHeroesAnymore1334]

Funny how the parents who do that are the ones who made sure their kid couldn't produce that much money. WEIRD HUH? Almost like they wanted a forever servant they could blame for their own circumstances! F narcs. Death penalty or sterilized and any existing kids taken away to SAFETY, and NO I AM NOT KIDDING.

[@antithoughtpolice7497]

Actually, if they charge a little, it's not bad. Some parents also need help ASAP because any government assistance or child support may stop (that's not the case here though). But it definitely sounds like Ashlee is charging an unreasonable amount.

[@josemadera3138]

If you're a good parent by the time your child hits 18 AKA an adult they'll be ready to handle that responsibility If you're at bad parent and treats your 18-year-old like a baby still then yeah I can see where it's harsh but that makes you a shit parent you should be teaching your kids how to move how to hustle how to work how to think for themselves not have these fucking 25 26 27 30-year-olds who still can't think for themselves

[@oanaenache991]

@@antithoughtpolice7497 i understand if they themselves need money, but if they don't, i would say letting the kid study and save their money maybe for tuition or something else would be better. Some kids can't work either depending on their career plan. Fun fact in my home country parents owe support to their kids if they're under 25 and full time students

[@azadalamiq]

@@antithoughtpolice7497 not the kids responsibility to help the parent, it's up to the parent to take care of the children and find a good paying job and affordable housing. should be the kids choice to help or save up to leave. If parents do this to help teach the kid on how bills/ rent works they "charge" rent then put it in a trust account and give the account as a gift for when they do move out.

[@MindrapeJr]

holy crap. the guy from story one has the wires in his brain neat and tidy, and all in the right places. along with his heart. if only there were more like him. i especially loved where he said his place in his now ex girlfriend should be third or even fourth if there are pets involved. that is what a man should be like. not just strong physically, but where it is most important. strong morally. i hope he has a good life and has many children to pass on his moral values. we need more of that in the world.

[@charityquill4965]

It really sucks that she was expecting rent from her barely adult daughter and not her boyfriend

[@xelectrix]

​@Charity Quill this right here. This is only speculation but I think Ashley may be the type of person to prioritize romantic partners over her child. OP doesn't say what age Ashley is but I'd assume close to OPs age and if Susan is about to turn 18 Ashley may have been pretty young (18-19) when she had Susan. I can imagine she may be pretty resentful of her daughter but who knows. I feel bad for Susan. I hope she is doing well.

[@redonyx5428]

​@@xelectrixI said something similar. she's more concerned with keeping a man than her own family. I hope Susan gets lucky and can move out because Ashley will kick her out either to punish her because of her own actions or because a new bf wants her gone

[@audreym3908]

I also think women should think like that too if their partner has kids.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "You don't know shit about this country!" I do, and you suck. I'm turning 22 this Sunday and never at any point has my mom charged me rent. All she asks is that I help with chores and pay for my own groceries and stuff now and then.

[@cycymaca]

Same for me. Also, birthday greetings to you!

[@owl7072]

@@cycymaca 🥰✨️

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

My parents don't charge rent at all, they just expect me to help around the house. They even said they want us to save every penny possible so we kids can move out. And I'm forever grateful. ❤

[@ahmadyusof2480]

Thats exactly what my parents did also.

[@shannonbullock2202]

Last Story: OP can turn it around on gf by saying "I'm still angry YOU couldn't wait to give birth so I could be there." It's the EXACT same logic and will blow her mind lol

[@DarkwaveMistress]

OP in story 1 summarizes my thoughts. I'm Mexican and here no parent charges rent to their children as long as you contribute somehow to the home. If it's not money then it's the chores. The US is wild.

[@absolutelyridiculous6743]

As a US citizen, I agree. I'm honestly thinking of having my children contribute "rent/utilities" when they are working if they are at home, a VERY small amount like $100 a month...and then giving it back with interest from my own checks to help them. :) I knew someone who got a huge check from their parents and it was such a blessing for them. No way would I force rent though, it's just an idea and I wouldn't keep the money in the end.

[@ladydragon76]

Same here. I've got a 19.5 and just 18 yr old here at home. Older is doing classes for a career and volunteering, the younger finishes high school in a month and will be doing college. They don't pay rent. Once they've got some income we plan to have them contribute for food and stuff. My job as a parent is to see that their launch into life is more stable than my own had been. But! Part of that is because my family DID toss me at 18 and since I graduated at 17.5, I was required to pay rent those summer months until they could get rid of me. It meant the only place I had to go was to my abusive boyfriend. I was stuck with him til I was nearly 24 simply BECAUSE I didn't have parents who cared enough to help me be stable as a young adult. That mentality of just throwing kids out at 18 or using them for money is bull. Well more than just that, but still. Had I not needed to rush out of my childhood home, I may have had more opportunities for growth young instead of believing I had to cling to a man to survive. It was complicated and not only parental fault, etc, etc. but I won't risk my own kids feeling they can't come home from a bad relationship or situation, or ask for help, or have to choose a bad choice instead of just stay here for a few years past 18.

[@mazimbilase7420]

Same thing in South Africa as long as you contribute with the bare min of chores then it's alright

[@chronicchef2589]

Most of our schools don't offer anything in the way of budgeting or money management. Most US parents charge a small rent to help the kids get used to paying monthly for rent and living expenses. In some parts of the US most folks make less than what's considered poverty level. So this is rather normal for most of us po' folk.

[@ReyK_47]

Same here, only one of my brothers still lives with my parents but he doesn't pay rent. He does work a lot, but he contributes to groceries, dinners, and other household things that he notices we need without my parents asking. He also contributes by doing chores around the house, and my parents are perfectly happy with that. Especially since they can go on overnight camping trips together and not have to hire someone to watch the pets for them 😂

[@veezopolis]

She's not just a bad mother, she's a bad person completely

[@aherrera5196]

I’m Mexican and my parents charged me for rent and wanted me to pay their water bill, that they had been late for so long that it was $800 dollars at that point and it took FOREVER to pay off along with the current charges. When I became an adult legally my mom took my checks and I thought that how it’s supposed to be. I’m now I’m my 30’s and I’m am currently struggling with starting my life. It sucks when parents tell their children that once their 18 they have to help family, family is first. Fuck that

[@rainbowunicorn709]

I'm sorry about your circumstances.

[@kierstinl3787]

I feel this. It can definitely cripple being an adult. I still struggle.

[@dtownblastinsalvi62]

Dude I’m Salvadoran-American my parents didn’t charge me I even had many Mexican gf’s and homeboys their parents don’t charge them hell I’m working with a 18 year Mexican kid an Edgar type of homie his parents don’t charge him and I told him to save up for the future he will need it

[@devegas4910]

Story 1: that mom sounds like she’s been terrible for years. She may also be an addict considering that Susan mentioned her having dated addicts as well.

[@ScooterBond1970]

The way he described Susan sitting there silently while they were talking made me wonder if the mom might have been at least emotionally abusive/neglectful.

[@danacarter9147]

​​​@@ScooterBond1970The mother apparently IS emotionally abusive/neglectful. The poor daughter Susan will end up running away from her mother, Ashley, move in with/marry a guy who's controlling and violent towards her, have a baby on the way, then flee to another state, and with no friends or other relatives to take her in, she'll have to stay at a women's shelter, move into public housing, and work multiple odd jobs, to support herself and her baby.⚠️

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 I did NOT read that as flirting at all. I thought the nurse was being an AH with an inferiority complex. I definitely would have had a bad taste in my mouth after that interaction and not thought someone was flirting. ETA:I feel relieved 😌 reading these comments and seeing other people interpret this similar to how I did. Tone, especially in writing can get lost in translation as well. And, I definitely agree about men vs women. I'm only interested in men romantically and any man who pulled these shenanigans would not get a date, that's for sure. I think Reddit would be much harsher on the nurse if it was a man behaving exactly the same.

[@samalvarez8776]

It depends on the body language and tone. If she's smiling and being coy, then it's flirting, if she's angry dismissive and snappy she's rude

[@SpiderRiderKya]

Yeah same. Like, how is that flirting?? She sounded accusatory.

[@petthequeenofmaddness8592]

I think the kid knew and it was a set up

[@truthseeker9249]

Yeah me too. I don't like rudeness. I don't like games. I like kind people, I like sweetness. That's all there is to it. So this kind of flirting would turn me off and make me just walk away from you mid-sentence.

[@dee_woo]

Me too, I still don’t get how people consider that flirting, it just sounds rude

[@copercurlz]

You know I pay my parents rent. But I'm 24 and I almost had to strong arm them into taking it. They would never had demanded it of me nor would they have kicked me out. I never understand parents who do this to their kids. OP is NTA.

[@antithoughtpolice7497]

I imagine you strongly slamming the money in their hands when you say you strong armed them 😂 I understand parents that NEED help with rent, like when child support stops or government assistance, but this ain't that

[@copercurlz]

@antithoughtpolice7497 Well I mean... I now WISH I did 🤣 But no, I agree with you. This ain't the situations where it's needed.

[@judelbugsrutter6727]

My parents never took more than one third of whatever I was earning and i don't remember the threshold but at one stage it was so small mum told me to keep it all for myself. It'd be different in daughter was entitled and refused to help around the house, but it sounds like she put up with a LOT from her mother

[@robina.9402]

I feel this. My dad gave me his old car and refused my multiple offers to pay him something, anything for it. I'm almost 40. My parents also helped my brother get back on his feet after health issues, no rent payments just help around the house. We are white and culturally American, so it's not every family that nickel and dimes their children.

[@paulastiles5507]

That's the thing. If you've raised your kids right, this isn't even a conversation you need to have because they have been looking forward for years to what they're going to do when they turn 18, or at least how they're going to figure out what they want to do (hell, I couldn't *wait* to get my first job when I was 13 and start paying for my horse/have spending money). Any parent who has raised their kids to dread turning 18 and being kicked out to live on their own has Done. Something. Very. Very. VERY. Wrong.

[@JynX88]

In story one, I've had this argument. I'm also Hispanic. Making kids regardless of age to pay rent is horrible. But I was told I was stupid. Found out it's kinda a toxic trait to force your children to do that. It goes with the "they owe you/tired of being a parent when you are always going to be there parent. Yes she is a bad parent. This is how toxic family gets cut off and no contact.

[@rf159a]

When I graduated High School my father let me have the summer to myself. After the summer was over he asked me what I was going to do with my life. He told me I couldn't live with them without a job. He wanted me to start being a responsible adult. Didn't want rent or anything, just start growing up. In fact he was kind of disappointed when I wanted to move out on my own when I did get a job. All he wanted was for me to begin to act like an adult, nothing more.. After I moved out on my own, he would stop by weekly with groceries and to check up on me. He was a great man to me. At 64 I still miss him to this day!!

[@audreym3908]

I'm not Hispanic but my parents never asked me nor my siblings for rent when we turned 18 since we never had a job (other than summer jobs) till we both worked and went to college (I did both separately till I went back to school a couple years ago and had to do both. Now I'm fully employed at two jobs).

[@kylaluv8453]

In this instant I agree the mom was toxic. But as I explained in other posts, I charged a small amount of rent after they secured good jobs as lessons. Lessons on budgeting, savings, and paying your bills on time. I went with rent cause neither of my kids had interest in driving. How did your parents teach you financial responsibility?

[@JynX88]

Lol I'll post mine. My parents are amazing and never asked for much other than to pay off our debts and to save/get retirement. I've never had to pay rent just to be responsible too. Right now me and my significant other both live with them due to hard times. I'm super grateful tbh.

[@krystalvixen3334]

yes and no having your child pay rent might be toxic but at the same time it teaches them that living in a house isnt free especially if they are like in their 30s and work but they tend to eat everything you have and wasting electricity and such there are times when a child has to pay rent especially in this generation you and other respectfully dont seem to get that most kids today do not intend to leave their parents house they expect their parents to pay for everything while they run up all their bills so while you and others say its toxic you fail realize they will have to pay rent and bills on their own one day mom and dad wont be there forever to help them so its best they pay rent and learn that not everything is free and mommy and daddy wont be there for you all the time edit: oh so hes gonna be an adult soothen yeah pay rent she will have to pay her own phone bill and stuff so best she learns not everything is free

[@HobieInTheBox]

Story 2: it was hard for me to interpret that as flirting by the way OP interpreted the nurses words and wrote them that way in the post.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 3 the audacity of this vile woman for being upset OP “missed” the birth because he was in the hospital for his own medical emergency that could have potentially killed him.

[@AngelJohnson66]

OP is a girl

[@lostshadows768]

Making kids pay rent, when you don't need the money, the minute they turn 18 is messed up. Let them finish HS, then give them a time frame to start paying rent, which will give them a chance to get a full time job first, if you really want to charge them rent.

[@BernadinoBinch]

Agreed! It should be a goal not an ultimatum. The real world is cold and uncaring enough, why not do what you can to make it a bit easier on your child??

[@artemismoore4176]

What also gets me is, what if the kid wants to go to uni or college? What if she wants to pursue other further education? Her mother is effectively ruining her chances to start a balanced adult life, turning her into a financial slave, just because her own terrible parents did that to her.

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@babybookworm003]

In my case my parents had no choice I’m disabled and a part of getting me on disability where I am my parents had charge me rent over the years I have decided on my own to increase what I pay my parents

[@moshigal156]

Story 3: I have to laugh a bit here because what exactly did OP’s girlfriend expect her to do?? Talk to her heart like “Oh I’m terribly sorry to inconvenience you like this, but could you pretty please stop having a medical emergency for a few hours so that I can go support my girlfriend while she gives birth?” I get it, having to give birth like that must’ve been extremely traumatic for the girlfriend but jfc she’s being absolutely ridiculous here! OP didn’t choose to have a medical emergency at the same time her girlfriend was due, just as I’m sure the girlfriend didn’t choose to go into labor and give birth at the same time OP was having a medical emergency! The girlfriend is allowed to be disappointed and upset about the way things played out, but punishing and holding a grudge against OP for something that neither of them had control over is not okay.

[@arielortiz5643]

I agree. The girlfriend is being ridiculous. Already a year has passed and she still holds resentment for something OP didn't have any remote semblance of control and has being haunting her all her life. She could have died there, yet the girlfriend is the one that is upset? Then when she is asked if she understand the severity of OP's condition, she thinks she is patronized. Some women turn into a bridezilla the moment they are engaged, some people turn into something similar when they become parents. I only see three options: 1) a heart to heart talk, 2) couples therapy or 3) divorce.

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

It sounds like between birth, her partner's health scare and a newborn, she was never able to process having to go through something that could have also gone wrong for her without her partner. Childbirth is something that most women don't aim to go through without their partner. We don't know whether she was alone for the birth, only that her brother was there to tell OP afterwards. She was also didn't seem to have much support from OP for the final two months of her pregnancy. She needs empathy and counselling. OP gets everyone's sympathy immediately because her situation was outwardly severe, but hers was also in need of care.

[@StefenBruh]

​@@slytherinlibrarian3501 funny, because I didn't read anywhere in the story about anyone coming to visit or support OP while they were dying in the hospital, just to come tell her the baby was born. Matter of fact, OP was there a few days before the gf gave birth, so where was the support for those few days?

[@StefenBruh]

​@@slytherinlibrarian3501 she doesn't need empathy she needs to be put in her place. This is a case of "my feelings matter more than facts". They don't. They never will. The fact of the matter is she chose to keep this issue to herself for a year. The fact is OP could do nothing about the situation. The fact is the girlfriend could have visited OP but chose not to. The fact is she believes in whatever delusion she's sold herself. It is nobodies responsibility to calmly get her to understand she's wrong. I'd have personally screamed in her face for saying that out of pocket shit to me, as if someone chose to start dying instead of being there for the birth of their child. Not everything is a therapy issue. Sometimes self centered assholes exist and should end up alone in an old folks home

[@Splatoon_Kirby]

@@slytherinlibrarian3501 She has all the family with her. AND A YEAR LATER SHE IS STILL HARPING ON IT. OP couldn't be there, she wanted to be, do you know how scary that would of been for OP??? Knowing her wife is in labor and its bad and she also has to go in for emergency surgery that she also could DIE in??

[@志瑜杨]

I hope the gf didn’t blame the daughter for getting broken up with.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I hate to admit it, but I'm sure she will. 😢

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 3: the fact people are putting feelings, thoughts and medial diagnosis on a woman they don’t know to justify and excuse her being angry about her boyfriend missing the birth of their child when he was in the hospital and still angry _a year later_ is absolutely ridiculous. Just because she’s a woman giving birth doesn’t mean she is excused from being angry at her boyfriend (after being cold about the date he took time and money to plan) for a situation out of his control.

[@maximillian1109]

*girlfriend, they are lesbian

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@maximillian1109 usually halfway into the stories I don’t remember what the OPs’ genders are, my bad.

[@jusminejustice2794]

​@@TsukiKageTora it's okay. your point still stands.

[@Alberto-wu1mj]

The daughter from the first story is soon turning 18. She is just graduating from high school. Helping her transition to adulthood is reasonable instead of forcing her to immediately struggle. OP is NTA. It is sad the daughter has so few supports in her life.

[@Because-rt8qs]

She'd struggle less if she can save money rather than give all her money to her mom. If you want to help her to become an adult, help her plan how to move out, help her to budget.

[@Armor_Wing]

Story 1: NTA. Just because someone turns 18 doesn’t mean they have adult money. Part time as a minor isn’t a lot. I’m American. When I was 18, I was going to college in the same town, so my mother said I could still live at home so long as I kept my grades up, went to my PT job, and helped around the house. She did this so I could save up money to live on my own, as my education was very important to her. That mom sounds cold and uncaring, like she doesn’t like her daughter and can’t wait to kick her out. If you really want them to move out so early, start preparing them early. Otherwise, it feels cruel to me.

[@beebs4283]

Story 3- Damn. Maybe she should seek therapy instead of getting mad at a loved one for nearly dying from chronic illness

[@poolwench4564]

What was stopping her from going to him? They were in the same hospital!! Didn’t she know where he was? I so confused

[@RandomTrinidadian]

Sonething tells me Ashely is going that woman who moans about not having a relationship with her daughter, after Susan went NC after moving out.

[@DerekScottBland]

Story 3 - OP had congestive heart failure. Having had it myself, and seeing my mom go through it, I can tell you that most people do not understand how serious it is until they either actually experience it or are sitting at the bedside of someone who has almost died from it.

[@LilFeralGangrel]

Story 2: sapphics do this so often it's adorable, and frustrating because i can never quite tell when people are flirting with me but i can tell when people are flirting with others. sigh. good on OP and the nurse, i'm happy for them both :)))

[@hugdispenser5627]

Ikr. I find it very funny about the story. I even said “hah typical sapphic women” when I heard that part haha.

[@TsukiKageTora]

“She’s my daughter and I can do what I want with her” Tell that to the daughter and move out cause if this is what she thinks of her offspring god only knows what she will think of a husband (don’t know why her daughter’s father isn’t in her life, but this is a good possibility of why)

[@stirlingarcher7972]

Story 1: NTA OP is right, she is a bad mother.

[@kevinclark495]

no shes not shes preparing her daughter for the real world, it's called being a good, responsible parent, unlike the parents who mollycoddle and wrapping them up in cotton wool leaving their kids with no clue about the real world

[@Nikephorus]

@@kevinclark495 I don't know if that's fair. My parents let me live with them till I finished college and had worked for about a year after that to save money. I didn't pay them rent and didn't move out till I was 24. I now own a house and have a good job. So them not kicking me out didn't affect my success.

[@nopeninja8883]

​@kevin clark from the described conversation, the mom ita. Not having a conversation waaaayyyy before on expectations and how to achieve the goal the mom is expecting is a butt move. I was raised with it being clear. Do I agree with it no. Especially since most American parents "expect" the kids to "pay back" their choice to have a child, by the child taking care of the parents for 10+ years when they are in their twilight years.

[@stonefox2546]

@@kevinclark495 I'm sorry you were treated like Ashlee by your parents and you have internalised that one must be a cruel dick in order to "prepare kids for the real world".

[@aparnarai3708]

​@@kevinclark495lol idk but I am not fond of this kind of culture of making kids move out or pay rent when they are 18 It doesn't prepare them for the "real world" but actually prepares their mind to send their parents to old age homes when they(the parents) retire and cut all ties with them

[@bricksloth6920]

Last story: wtf ? I don't know what's going on with your girlfriend but this isn't cool.

[@reygonzalez8706]

Well, we know why she still ONLY his girlfriend, that craziness is not wife material...

[@maverickmayhem4280]

@@reygonzalez8706 OP stated at the start that they're both women.

[@ComaLies225]

Story 1: NTA in this, Ashley sounds unhinged. If her daughter was in her mid to late 20s with an established job I could see why mom would ask for rent but she needs to start paying once she’s 18 when she got part time work? No. That’s unreasonable and I don’t get parents who suddenly demand 18 year olds to have their lives in order. How about let her save up or find a better job first?

[@whitneybennett4857]

Yeah, I wonder if Ashlee is mentally ill or on drugs or something. If you believe your bf/gf is overstepping with your child, the normal response is when you're alone to calmly say to them, "Listen, I'm glad you're already wanting to take on a parental role with my child, but I feel like you're undermining me as their parent when you step in while I'm trying to discipline them or something." Getting in their face and screaming at them like that and saying it's none of their business whether or not they mistreat the kid ("I CAN DO WHAT I WANT WITH HER") while they're trying to have a reasonable discussion with you is NOT normal.

[@catalinacaro8183]

Or if her daughter wants to continue her education, is she gonna ask her to pay for uni AND rent?

[@paulastiles5507]

@@whitneybennett4857 Well, she tends to shack up with addicts, so chances are she's got a few addictions of her own.

[@witheredrose357]

S 1 OP is a good man. I hope both OP and Susan live good lives.

[@Swnsasy]

As a mother of 3, all grown and gone. I NEVER asked my kids to pay rent.. My son finally moved out at 23 and then my middle at 21 and my baby at 20... No, I wanted them to save but they did buy their own food and their own car etc but rent, no.. I actually don't know anyone that charged their 18yr old rent let alone a 24yr old that fell onto hard times and needed to move home... My thing is, the way that she talked to him was disgusting and now he also knows that he is in HER home and she will kick him out at the drop of a hat... The way she spoke to him would be a deal breaker to me... Nta... He just asked a damn question for clarity and she blew up!!

[@MakiPcr]

Story 1 I'm latina so naturally I'm the on the guy's side, gringxs are crazy

[@295Phoenix]

Charging rent is the white people's way. 😅 Source: Am white.

[@kylaluv8453]

I agree the lady was charging rent for all the wrong reasons. I charged my kids rent after they secured a job more for teaching. It was bare 200.00 month, it also included budgeting and savings lessons. Neither of my kids cared to drive so their onky expense was their phone. I believe it is a parents failing is they send their kid out in the world and not teach them AND ensure they are proficient at managing money and bills. You taught that lesson through having your child buy his own car. I have known peopke who were not taught any of that and was constantly late with rent, over due maxed credit debt, and shut off electricity. My kids are in their late 20s and still live with me. Since I can't move to a smaller home that will allow me to put even more away for my retirement, cause I don't need a 4bd house just for me. They pay their share to make up for it. I pay ⅔ of all home expenses and they share the final ⅓.

[@Daydream_N]

The day I turned 18, mom made me pay rent, buy my own food, pay my own car payments plus insurance and the utilities and then got really pissed off at me for not being moved out by 22. I literally had like 20 bucks in my bank account after all the payments. And if I was late on rent even just a day, she'd lock me out and she never gave me my own house key my entire life

[@kylaluv8453]

@@Daydream_N That just sounds horrible! I hope you are in a better situation now.

[@hmspretender]

Story 1: Ashlee IS a bad mom. I get wanting to teach them responsibility and how the real world works, but holy fun sh!t man! Teaching responsibility starts way before they turn 18. I wish it wasn't so common that people don't see how they were raised in a not-so-good to abusive way and therefore do the same things to their children. You never want to present a child of any age with a task they are simply and completely unable to accomplish. That's what leads to Learned Helplessness which WILL set them up to fail and make it that much harder to "adult" on their own. Because why would they attempt to do something they are really interested in if they're just going to fail at it. When a teen does get a job and you want them to feel like they're accomplished and that they are actually adulting already, charge them a small token amount of rent, so they feel like they're contributing, and then put that money into a savings account for them for when they do leave.

[@mimiqmayday]

story 3: NTA. I'm the eldest of 8, and when the 3rd kid was born my dad had to go into hospital to get a box put to help his heart. He decided to get out of the hospital he was in and go see my sister be born, but that was extremely dangerous of him. his heart could've given out at any moment he was in there. My mum was more mad that he did that then she could have ever been at him missing the birth. Obviously the argument wasn't the best way to go about that, but if she genuinely seems to think OP possibly dying and their kid not having a father is just gross

[@dustyrose192]

that box thing sounds like a pace maker?

[@mimiqmayday]

@@dustyrose192 i thought it was but apparently not, i remembered asking him a few years ago and don't remember exactly what it was. he had it removed a little while back, it might've been an ICD which is similar but i dont bother asking again because it's "old news" to him lol. all i know is he doesn't need it anymore

[@jessicarichards6796]

I hope the mom in the rent story doesn’t take this out on her daughter.

[@iononcantomascrivo]

Story number 3: tell me you're a narcissist without telling me you're a narcissist. What exactly did she expect OP to do? OP has a pre-existing life-threatening heart condition. It's not like she wasn't present because she was out playing golf or getting drunk at a local bar. I think OP needs to find a new girlfriend.

[@ShotgunsAndSalt]

OP is also a woman, but I agree that her girlfriend was being ridiculous.

[@AngelJohnson66]

​@@ShotgunsAndSaltI think the commenter had referred to OP as a girl. Lol

[@ShotgunsAndSalt]

@@AngelJohnson66 lol oops sorry, my mistake 🙃

[@AngelJohnson66]

@@ShotgunsAndSalt No worries! Lol

[@kieramaccourt8717]

Story 2 is why I very seldom tell staff in hospitals/offices that I'm a nurse. It just leads to all sorts of nonsense.

[@ComaLies225]

Story 3: Anyone remember that Reddit story where OPs MIL asked his wife if she was stupid (yes she blatantly asked this lol) because wife was complaining and being childish? Sometimes I feel like a third outside party is needed for situations like this. OP can’t control his illness, I don’t know what she’s expecting? Honestly how do you answer somethings like that?

[@AngelJohnson66]

Her illness***

[@maurer3d]

Story 2: NTA, your job is none of the school nurses business, it was her job to treat your nieces injury since it happened on school ground. Story 2 (update): Wow I would not have guest that was an attempt at flirting, if my life depended on it.

[@crem-crem4070]

Story 1: man OP was a better person and parent than Ashlee ever was.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I know right? And Susan isn't even his. You know he'll be a good father. 😊

[@lyregal5]

I was really surprised by the comments in story 1 saying it was common for American parents to charge their kids rent once they turn 18. Where I grew up in the US, it was very rare and usually due to families having financial issues. My brother and I both as adults have had to move back in with our parents briefly due to housing issues and we both immediately offered to help out financially, but were turned down as our parents wanted us to save our money so we could get back on our feet and now we each own our own homes. And even for the kids I know that did pay some kind of rent, the parents were definitely not this antagonistic, for a smaller percentage and sometimes even just saved the money to give back to their kids later once they did move out.

[@khrishp]

I was also surprised by how many people were saying that it was normal. Maybe it's only my background, but I can't think of it any of my friends that had to pay rent and we're expected to move out as soon as they turned 18. Honestly the amount of people in the comments saying that it was normal made me question if I had an extremely abnormal growing up.

[@rudymacias9453]

Right it so strange to me. Even now at 29. My parents made it clear if I even fell on harsh times. I could move back home if I ever needed to

[@LadySingingWolf]

@@rudymacias9453 I'm 37 and have lived with my dad most of my adult life. I did live on my own briefly, but when dad's health took a nose dive and the only thing that saved him was the fact he collapsed in a dr office, I moved back in with him to help care for him. He's doing much better now, but has never asked me to move back out nor asked for rent. He only charged me rent when I had a very good stable job (well stable until corp decided to close the location and laid everyone off). While I'm out of work right now, he knows I'm looking and the job market is nuts right now in our area. Once I find a better job we're already planning on me either taking over or paying half of some of the bills to help out.

[@kylaluv8453]

​​@@khrishp I am curious, how did your parents teach you how to budget your finances and how to pay your bills on time? I used rent and their own phone as that lesson. So e of my friends had to buy their own cars and all expenses with that. I was in charge of my extra curricular activities and school expenses, and gas. Edit to add...the mother was way out of line. She easn't charging rent to teach responsibility, she obviously was passing down her parents toxic money grab. BTW it took my kids a while to remember to pay rent on-time even with the late fees I charged for having to remind them. I'd rather my kids learn under my roof than out in the real world.

[@Ash-kp8rt]

​@@kylaluv8453 American here. My parents didn't make me pay rent. Instead as I was growing up they included me in managing the household budgets, plan the family grocery shopping trip, give me a certain amount of money for things and I had to budget it, take me to buy a car and negotiate, taught me how a mortgage works, etc. I had 2 jobs and chose to give money to my family. I'm now 33 and financially stable. I make sure my mom is taken care of. I pay for her vacations, food, etc. My husband's family made him homeless and wouldn't give him $5. We wouldnt help them out and they wonder why we don't spend time with them. Treat others like you want to be treated and this includes your children.

[@felix0-014]

Story 1 NTA what an AH of a mother. It would be one thing if they wanted to have her daughter pay rent that went into a savings fund. It's another thing for her to be so nasty about it. It's like she hates her daughter and sees her as a burden.

[@DarkCrystalSage]

Story 1: NTA, 30 year old here still living with mom in great gran's house. It's been paid off and all, we're still making home renovations. Mom never once asked me to pay for rent. I've been helping maintain the house, laundry, dishes, caring for the pets, help going through things to sell. But listen, if some C U Next Tuesday says "My kid I can do whatever I want" like that? I'd say tell Susan that she can come to you for anything if and when Susan inevitably goes no contact with her mother like that.

[@immortalsofar5314]

I felt so unwelcome, I was wanting to move out since I was about 11 years old so when my dad charged me market rates as soon as I earned money, our relationship became no more than any other landlord until I could afford a place of my own.

[@H0r53f7y]

Hope you're living a better life now🙏💖

[@immortalsofar5314]

@@H0r53f7y Kind of. I had a lot of friends who had happy childhoods and went on to lead happy and, frankly, boring lives. It left me free to live the life I wanted and, if I'd been given the choice, this is probably the life I'd choose. Just don't expect me to thank anyone!

[@H0r53f7y]

Understood, and understandable🙏💖

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

Story 1. I agree with OP, in the Latino culture, we do not charge rent should our family, especially our adult children need to live with us until they get settled into their own place. I am Latina (Puerto Rican) and was born and raised in NYC. No one in my family or family friends has or would ever charge any family member rent when they needed to stay with other family members, ESPECIALLY not their children. Latinos tend to be highly group-oriented. A strong emphasis is placed on the family as the major source of one’s identity and protection against the hardships of life. This sense of family belonging is intense and limited to family and close friends. Latinos have a long history of taking in other people’s children and raising them as their own when the children’s birth parents cannot care for them. If a young girl has an unplanned pregnancy, some member of her family will usually raise the child if she cannot. Formal adoption is often not considered in such situations since it would mean legally cutting off a piece of the family. After my sister's husband passed away, she became a widowed stay-at-home mother. She was struggling and asked me if I would take my niece until she got back on her feet. Of course, I immediately said yes, and my niece lived with my husband and me from age 11 to 14, and we never asked my sister for money, because well we just don't ask that of family, we do what we can to help. My husband is of English/Scottish descent. He is an amazing man, and he had no problem taking in my niece (or all the other stray humans I have taken in over the past 26 years lol). We joke around that we converted him to Puerto Ricanism. But, his family, well that's a horse of a different color, because taking in a family member to live in their homes was almost a foreign concept, and when their kids moved back home, temporarily, after college they expected them to pay rent. So, you can imagine how much our opinions clashed when they first found out we were taking my niece in, and not making my sister pay child support (my sister did however send money whenever she could). But, I love them, and they quickly came to understand that our cultures are different. When our daughter graduated from University, she moved back into her childhood bedroom. We have a 900 sq ft bonus room above our garage. Over the summer after she graduated, my daughter and my husband finished the area above the garage and turned it into a studio apartment, with an attached art studio. We never once thought about charging her rent, but she insisted she gave us $250 a month to help with the home equity we took out to finish the apartment. However, I put that into a savings account, this way when my daughter is ready to move into her own home, she will have a nice nest egg to put towards her new home. Our kids are not spoiled by any means. They understand the value of a dollar, are hard-working, they know family comes first, and never expect anything to just be given to them. For example, my 15-year-old recently wanted a video game that cost $75. Well, he did not come to me and simply ask me to buy the game for him. Instead, he came to me and asked if there were additional chores he could do around the house so he could earn the money to buy the game. Anyway, sorry for the long post. But, most non-Hispanic people just don't get the closeness that Latino families have.

[@JMac7395]

Story 1: One of the biggest issues with most American parents is that they don't actually prepare their child(ren) for the responsibilities of adulthood i.e rent, mortgage, utilities, insurance, grocery shopping etc. When some parents want to charge their child(ren) rent out of the blue or randomly kick them out, it's emotionally traumatic for the child. Which is why a lot of young adults between the ages of 18-25 have a hard time getting on their feet. They're ill prepared but their parents expect them to magically know what to do. Sure a lot of kids hear their parents complain about bills & rent but the parents never had a conversation about what, why & how

[@whitneybennett4857]

THIS. Yes, there comes a time where your child does need to become an adult and be independent, but as a parent, your job is to TEACH THEM HOW TO DO THAT. You can't just throw the baby bird out of the nest and expect it to automatically start flying well on its own.

[@milescoburn1845]

Story # 2 - I guess we're just going to ride right by the Nurse being unprofessional hitting on the Aunt of a patient, while the patient is still there. And the Aunt using her niece to have an excuse to hit on the Nurse.

[@zackschilling5154]

Story 2: made me realize that I’d never know if someone was flirting with me I was just as confused as op 😂

[@TheGreatPresenter]

I'm also in Britain and I knew that when I started work that I would pay towards my 'keep' as my older brothers and sisters did.

[@locusxe1411]

Story 3 NTA- I’m sorry but I just don’t agree with the NAH comments. The last comment made the most sense imo. It would be NAH if they had discussed this way earlier but she decided to hold in that resentment for a full year. I get that going through pregnancy alone sucks and also having your husband having a health problems at the same time isn’t good for you. But to resent him for something that was completely out of his control is where she becomes TA. And I don’t like how the NAH comments were all like “Imagine how she must have felt when her husband was dying and she was giving birth alone.” What about Op? Do they not think he felt the same way? He was literally dying and couldn’t be there for his wife or child at the time

[@jbrennan381]

Yeah exactly. She was litterally at risk of dying, but somehow it's her fault that her heart was having extremely dangerous issues??? It definitely wasn't a NAH situation. The wife was clearly TA

[@bautistalover]

This part and that one comment about PPD pissed me off. Not everything is PPD some people are just assholes and that’s OPs partner. They just don’t want to hold the pregnant lady accountable for being an ass.

[@AngelJohnson66]

OP is a woman but yeah, I agree

[@chinatsukiseki4210]

Story 1: I'm 20 and have to pay rent to my mom so I can help contribute to the household. £80 (60 rent/20 food) a week plus 29 for my phone bill (since I would forget constantly) and it's increasing to 90 a week after summer on my own volition to raise my personal food shopping to 20 instead of 10 due to the increase in grocery prices. Asking Susan to pay rent at market price while she's 18 is horrible. NTA. Note: I don't work. I'm a university student whose only stated uni this year.

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@AdamaGeist]

The thing is, Story one? It's very VERY painfully obvious that the mother had been abused by her family, and thus was taught this kind of behavior was normal. To put others above herself, that kids are required to pay their parents rent, this is stuff that was normalized into her life and she's continuing them.

[@Serene80]

Story 1: NTA! Leave the girlfriend, take the daughter... If she's paying more than a token amount, it's just wrong.

[@ANBU_Black_0ps24]

Story 1 - Some people just don't understand unless it happens to them. I had a major falling out with my mom in my 20's and part of the reason why was because I needed to move back home for a while and my mom was charging me rent because I'm male "and a man should pay his own way and not be a freeloader or move out". I always countered with "how can I afford to save to move out when I'm giving you 1/3 of my paycheck in rent?". Cut years later my mom moved in with my aging grandmother to help take care of her, and my grandma started charging my mom rent and my mom hated it. My mom was ranting to me one day about how unfair it was that she had to pay rent and how could she save money for her own place if she has to pay rent, and I reminded her that she charged me rent and used the exact same wording as her reasoning. My mom went full surprised Pikachu face and that's when she got it. Just because something crappy happened to you doesn't mean you have to do it to your kids, be better.

[@hmspretender]

Story 2: This is so wholesome! I watch OneTopicAtATime who reads subreddits like Lesbian Memes. There's a long running self-deprecating joke about how (a lot of) lesbians can never tell when they're being flirted with (because they don't expect it, I guess) so the fact that OP kept missing the NEON SIGNS this nurse was showing her is hilarious! I wish them all the best! 😂 ❤ 😂 ❤ 😊

[@jbrennan381]

I don't know, that one didn't seem wholesome to me. She only started flirting when she learned she was a doctor, got rude to flirt, and flirted while on the job as a nurse...that seems extremely unprofessional and rude to me. I wish them all the best too, but that definitely didn't seem like a good situation to me

[@hmspretender]

@@jbrennan381 How was she rude? Sure, flirting at work isn't the best option, but I'm sure she wasn't sure if she'd see her again and wanted to shoot her shot. And it wasn't because OP said she was a doctor. Those visits and conversations happen quickly so it's not like she just thought ooo I see gold here. I think you could use some more levity in your everyday life, you seem kinda negative.

[@LongNight_Moonlight]

I thought asking your children to pay rent or leave at 18 was common from bad parents around the world, I never thought it was especially common here in America. I’m a senior in college and have lived in a single parent household with my siblings since 2008. Growing up my mom was clear that she wanted us to stay with her until we were ready to be on our own but expected us to have goals after high school like college, trade school, or full-time employment. My mom has never asked me for rent but I’ve never stopped helping around the house and I give my mom money if she needs help with bills ( she doesn’t like taking my money even though I don’t mind ).

[@bautistalover]

No it’s not a common thing in other countries at least not previously. Yeah there are people now who say their parents have done so but it’s not common from what I’ve heard from friends from different counties and backgrounds.

[@CreepyBlueAnimals84]

Mom wants daughter to pay rent story: OP sounds like a real gentleman!! How many men or people in general can you say would focus on Susan in this and not OP'S and Ashley's relationship? Seriously, OP is Seriously one of the kindest most selfless people I've ever heard from these stories!!

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

Parents who make their kids pay rent are messed up. First, I’m pretty sure it’s illegal when they’re underage. And giving your child the option of “move out or pay rent” at 18 is also messed up. Like they’re still in school, basically doing hours of a full time job. And the parent wants to make them work for literally everything. Surely any loving parent would want to help their children. This isn’t normal, she is literally doing it because it was done to her. Wouldn’t you want them to work and save so they can move out??? This doesn’t sound like the mother is doing this to teach responsibility, just to hurt her daughter like she was hurt. Generational trauma. Story 2: I was also clueless. Really just thought the nurse had self esteem issues or something 😂

[@BernadinoBinch]

I dunno, I think charging your child a small amount of rent is okay but only once they've secured a job. It shouldn't be an ultimatum or a requirement for them living there, but I think giving them a taste of real adult life is a great thing. It teaches responsibility and help them feel prepared for going out on their own. But, I couldn't imagine kicking my child out or expecting them to get a job the day they turn 18! That's ridiculous. You want to guide them and teach them in a way that's going to leave a lifelong impression, not traumatise them into feeling constantly not good enough. There are tough lessons in life but I think if you can (and are financially able to) support your kids to make some of those lessons a bit easier, it's your responsibility to do so

[@alaaesong164]

@@BernadinoBinch This! The only thing I am thankful that my mother did growing up was made me pay rent. Taught me how to budget correctly at a young age. All my friends who didn't pay rent etc have poor budgeting skills and had to move back home because they got themselves in so much debt because they had no idea what to do. Paying a small amount of rent to my mother was still better than paying an extra $500 a fortnight for my own house and not having enough money to live off for the fortnight. Example. If I got $500 a fortnight income from my job, I'd pay her $150 for rent which covered everything, until I hit 18 then it covered everything BUT my food. This taught me how to function as a responsible adult

[@luckyassassin1]

I think charging a small amount is reasonable, a high amount is not. That being said the parents should also help their kids budget during that time so they can survive after they move out.

[@nyteshayde1197]

I started paying modest rent to my parents when I was 15. They'd even make up invoices for me. They did it to teach me the value of a dollar. Unbeknownst to me at the time, my parents put the money into a savings account. On my graduation day, I received a new car and enough money to get me through community college. I'm glad they did it.

[@DoritoBot9000]

Exactly this!! Age shouldn’t shouldnt be as relevant as the personal circumstances. Other than by law the daughter is still at all other effects a dependant teenager. But since the “mother” had terrible parents she seems determined to not learn and improve upon what was done do her…

[@mracula1667]

The last story: That last comment got it right. The whole situation was unfortunate and no one was an asshole until the girlfriend held onto that resentment for a year. Yes relationships are made on two way communication but it’s ultimately up to the person harboring resentment to express it in a timely manner.

[@CapnAkira]

No. Resenting your partner because their near death experience inconvenienced you definitely make you an asshole. It doesn't matter how long it's been. The wife could've said something immediately and still would be an asshole.

[@mracula1667]

@@CapnAkira People react poorly especially in times of stress. I give grace to my people if they don’t handle a situation well (outside of abusive behavior or coarse). Life is fucking hard and I don’t fault people for not handling things perfectly.

[@CapnAkira]

@@mracula1667 this is beyond poorly. At no point did the wife show any concern to OP. None. You say "perfectly" like this isn't a big deal. There are some things you can't take back and this is one of them. There is little she could have done to be more insulting to someone she's supposed to be spending her life with. Plus, the "time of stress" has long expired. Imagine being that awful to your partner for a year and thinking YOU'RE the victim.

[@mracula1667]

@@CapnAkira I just know I wouldn’t sweat it that much if I got an apology and a good conversation a few days after. A year later would be a different story.

[@CapnAkira]

@@mracula1667 I genuinely hope you don't end up with someone like that. Because it sounds like you'll end up in a long-term bad relationship.

[@MoonCandy685]

Her asking for that money is just an excuse to use her to get more money. How is the daughter gunna save up enough to move out when she's paying her mom so much money, it's just a cash ploy to keep the daughter for money just like her grandparents did to her motherm

[@gremlinwife4326]

Story 1: Ashlee sounds like she is repeating an abusive cycle and may or may not be an addict herself. Her attitude towards her daughter is incredibly sad. I really hope Susan and OP thrive even if they end up going their separate ways and that Ashlee gets some desperately needed therapy. That's the only way she's ever going to have a shred of a relationship with Susan, if she even wants one. I hope Susan knows that she deserves better and that she will most certainly find people who truly love and support her in life. Getting away from her mom for a while might be best for her honestly.

[@toadsandmarkers4347]

Story 2 is so wholesome lmao

[@noobfuzilado8661]

Story one. In my country, in the region where I live, if parents kick their children out of the house at 18, they will destroy their children's future. No one who has just turned 18 is going to get a job that allows them to pay rent and college at the same time. Especially, because the laws in my country do not allow minors to work in ordinary jobs, like, waiter or supermarket cashier, for example. You basically can't start saving money until you're 18. I was shocked by this story too. Is this the norm in America?

[@HackiePuffs]

Ashlee sounds unhinged. “She’s my daughter I can do what I want with her!!” BIG red flags 🚩

[@KCohere33]

So her parents financially abused her and now she is doing it to her child.😮

[@stirlingarcher7972]

Story 3: NTA they should get some kind of couples therapy so the therapist can explain to the gf what a huge AH she is and how ridiculous she’s being.

[@AlexRising_]

I love that the Aunt in the second story completely whiffed out on the nurse hitting on her. Like it’s too stinking cute.

[@jbrennan381]

I didn't really see that as cute. It seemed super unprofessional and rude to me. And she didn't start flirting until she knew she was a doctor? Nah that does not seem right to me.

[@xydis.06.03]

​@Nyanx4 *her OP is a woman

[@AlexRising_]

@@jbrennan381 I’m thinking the relationship gave the nurse common ground and provided an opening.

[@SunsetCompass]

I’m also from Latinoamerica, I was also forced to pay rent BUT that was because my mother was abusive. As soon as my grandmother and the rest of my family realized, they cut her off and brought me into a safe place. As someone who was in that situation, all it does is hold you back a few years from escaping a toxic abusive environment, which is probably exactly what this type of parent wants.

[@LovesGaming37]

My husband had to go down to the ER after our daughter was born cuz he was having massive high blood pressure and high heart rate issues. I was just as concerned about him as I was about the baby

[@fyoutube9410]

OP1, RUN, yes for the moving, but primarily for the kicking him out because of a disagreement.

[@Colorbrush21]

Story 1: I have the greatest respect for OP. He's a good man and I hope he finds a decent woman. I don't think you should interfere with parenting but there are exceptions. When you know that a child is being mistreated, you should speak up. I hope he can stay in Susan's life as a mentor/friend.

[@KG-VanityInKnickers]

US here. My dad never charged me rent while living with him (though I did cook and clean). I have always loved him for that, being there when I really needed him. He saved me that year. So I never charged my kids when they lived with me and told them my door is always open to them should they need it. At one point I had 3 of them living with me where I paid for everything but they did all the work around the house 😅 it was great and we had a blast together! And, I gotta say, they spoiled me because rhey wouldn't let me lift a finger. But, one by one, they left the nest again and I miss them!! Been by myself since with my oldest son coming by every few days for lunch (I'm 61 now and disabled). And all my kids call or text once a week. We keep in close touch with each other.

[@blandoatmeal1273]

Story 1 OP: "what if I was an abusive guy? I should not be priority No1!" Susan: "that's every other guy my mother has been with."

[@samx36]

1st OP sounds like he had amazing home life and like I hope he finds love AND that the daughter leaves to somewhere safe too.

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

As a Latin American, I also find it absolutely BIZARRE to charge rent to literal teenagers. Of course if you're in your 20s, or 30s, and living at home, you help with bills, food, chores etc, and do your part as a productive household member. Also, not to mention this woman is literally screaming and cussing him out. I'd break it off immediately. Edit: Good for him, he seems like a great man, definitely deserves better.

[@karenrickert9430]

Story 1 sounds like child support ended at 18, Ashley isn’t getting $$$ from Susan’s dad!

[@markymark7619]

My parents had a rule if you don’t go to college you pay rent! Rent was 20 bucks a week, and you got room, food, and laundry! It was a great deal. When you married or left home they return the money they collected!

[@mswendybear1]

That school nurse story made me smile! So cute!

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 1: NTA, because it sounds like a bombshell on the daughter. How was she to know in a few months her own mother wants her to pay more than she makes with her job as rent per month or she’d be kicked out? Honestly if she was to pay rent it should be 25%-50% of the income she gets per month not >100%

[@villiamped]

im very thankfull for these videos these days Mark. My wife is pregnant and is currently in the hospital, she had surgery a couple of days ago and after that she got very ill and they had to put her on a ventilator, so that was a big scare. She is thankfully fine now, and i go to and from the hospital to be with our 7 yo son and my wife and your videos are perfect for decompressing on the car rides! I have enjoyed the channel for a couple years now and it is still the first thing i listen to when i start my workday, so i wanted to show some appreciation and vent at the same time :D Thank you for hours of entertainment over the years! :)

[@tooblessed8815]

Last story: tell girlfriend that you resent her as well and that you’re upset for not holding the baby inside and being with you. See how logical she thinks that is. Girlfriend is being simple and silly.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

Story 1: NTA, and OP is right. Ashley is a terrible mother and girlfriend. It sounds like she resents being a mother and resents Susan for just existing. OP should dump Ashley, find another place to live, and invite Susan to move in.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I agree. Susan deserves so much better. And Ashley doesn't deserve her daughter. Or any children for that matter.

[@axepagode33626]

Kicking out an 18 year old or making them pay rent is not the norm in the US. I don't know about Missouri, but if your 18 year old is still in high school, as a parent, you are still legally responsible for him or her. You can charge them rent after their senior year. If you do this, and they are forced to take a minimum wage job to pay you rent, you have failed as a parent.

[@dimsufferer9951]

I don’t know why people kept saying it’s the norm, I’ve never heard of that

[@leaflet1686]

Story 1: Bad mother! I am with OP there. I also had to pay rent (Germany) and you know why? Because we lived in poverty and my money was needed. Were my parents better of, they never would have asked that. And even then, my rent was 200€. I made 850€. So not much! Edit: I also was the only one in my entire grade and my classmates looked at me like I was crazy and my coworkers were sorry for me. So yeah...

[@telinhajp]

Good morning, Mark and Poppy! Wishing you a fantastic Friday! ❤️🤗

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

You too m8🤗🤗💜💜

[@yesthatmousyiris4887]

I mean I'm all for giving teens responsibilities to contribute to the family but considering Susan's part time job rent is out of the question. Ashley clearly puts herself as the main priority instead of her child. I didn't start contributing to my family money wise (Dad and cats) till I was 19,

[@deadlynx5]

The mom made the boyfriend the priority not the daughter, the boyfriend is a saint and i hope he cam still be there for ashley if possible but also gets what he hopes for

[@yesthatmousyiris4887]

@@deadlynx5 Agree when the daughter said that OP is better then most boyfriends her mom had that broke my heart. I hope she can get away from her mom.

[@WobblesandBean]

OP 1: You moved to the Midwest, where a lot of people are generally awful. I'm sorry you had to see that awfulness firsthand.

[@areyoufauxreal26]

Good morning, Mark! Hope you and Poppy have a wonderful day! Just wanted to let you know I’ve been loving the earlier uploads and say thanks for so being consistent in posting 😊

[@onyxdragon1179]

Story 1: NTA Also, yeah, in latin american households is common for sons and daughters to stay with their parents well into their 30's (and hell, some people stay therenearly forever!) without paying any rent. It is mostly out of convenience and financial safety; in some places buying your own house is damn near impossible unless you save for many years, and rent is ridiculously high. However, it is expected for them to contribute in some way, be it chores or by paying for some stuff, like in my case I pay for the internet and other ammenities and also help maintain the house. So it is understandable why OP was shocked by his gf charging rent to her daughter.

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 2: I am female, and I also had no clue that the nurse was flirting with you, lol. I was going to recommend that you refer her to a psychiatric nurse, until you posted the update.

[@animatorstanley]

I'm American, niether me or anyone I personally know has ever had to pay their parents rent at any age. I don't even know anyone kicked out just for turning 18. This is super bizarre to me. Ive heard stories about it but only from forums online.

[@beautybard]

S1: bruh I wanna cry. That sounds exactly like my mom and my heart is breaking for Susan. I've been there.. but I've never seen anyone stand up to her like he did. I hope he found someone that shares his values and appreciates him. They aren't ALL like that, but it's certainly more common than anyone would ever care for.

[@Soothar]

I am loving you adding heartwarming, adorable 🥰 stories 😁! Thank you!

[@myrabeth77]

For myself and most of my peers, after 18/high school graduation (whichever came last), it was "You're a student or a renter." So long as the adult child was pursuing their education, no rent would be asked, even in summer. But if education stopped, responsibility for housing began soon after.

[@dotheworkreacts1191]

"You're just a boyfriend, not a step-dad so shut tf up". Me- actually, I'm neither. We're done".

[@aggroblu9753]

Story 1, I guess it’s different around my area but I don’t know a single person who has moved out of their parents either before age 25, or before they graduated college

[@Des_Cutie3.14]

I'm 18f and I already moved out. I go to college part time and work part time. I make it work with roommates