I tried answering 911 calls and did a horrible job

[@MajinWeabuu]

Caller: "I was hurt. By you." Kevin: "Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?"

[@omershaik6374]

Caller: you took everything from me Kevin: i don't even know who you are

[@RainWelsh]

“For you the day Kevin let your building burn down while sending multiple fire engines to an incident one street away was the worst day of your life. But for Kevin, it was Tuesday.”

[@jockeyfield1954]

@@RainWelsh that sounds like a line from payday lmao

[@theonlybilge]

@@jockeyfield1954 It's from the Street Fighter live action movie.

[@coldethyl]

"I'd like to report a baby in a car" *"How fast is it driving?"*

[@ljphoenix4341]

what the the movie Baby Driver should have been

[@nicoprono6183]

M

[@nicoprono6183]

M

[@nicoprono6183]

M

[@nicoprono6183]

M

[@ahmed-bw5mb]

"my girlfriend and i had a fight!" kevin: D I D Y O U W I N

[@kameran-5231]

Dont leave us hanging did you?

[@nikkiesona]

It's a good question, you gotta admit.

[@FilmsNerf2]

Are ya winning son?

[@Seraphim737-l1i]

I cracked up so hard at that one.

[@skrrbaby]

15:58 i fecking love it hahaha

[@zoee3296]

“Me and my girlfriend had a fight, she took some pills-“ “Did you win?”

[@BioticBird221]

I was actually about to comment that. 😂 Zoee

[@kibukaj2956]

"I- I broke my leg... It hurts so much..." "WAS IT THE CROSSBOW KILLER?" "No-" _Hangs up_

[@Reac2]

Kevin: "There is so much happening, I'm so overwhelmed!" Also Kevin: *doesn't get off double fast forward*

[@nikkiesona]

Hey, you can't blame that on Kevin. That was all past Kevin's fault!

[@gh0st525]

Me in Sims

[@sopapia2261]

“This is a serious channel about stopping crime” *pan over to him killing everyone in literally every single video*

[@lamarepository248]

Can’t commit crimes if they’re dead

[@sopapia2261]

@@lamarepository248 that needs to be Kevin’s new motto

[@crookedbuns]

for all we know, they committed crimes or were about to so Kevin did what had to be done.

[@ch4rlesiv115]

“This is a serious channel about stopping crime” And Yakuza is a serious crime drama

[@Little_Compy]

You have a nice pfp (I used to have the same exact one)

[@ellar6188]

Kevin exclusively using the term “horsey” is the most wholesome thing on the internet today.

[@wariv7746]

The first time he played mordhau and saw a horse he said "how to get horsey?" and its been stuck in my head ever since.

[@ellar6188]

@@wariv7746 I mean, my eternal question has been “How to get horsey?” So I relate.

[@lux0rd01]

I feel like Wholesome and Kevin are not two words that belong in the same sentence.

[@lux0rd01]

@@Scourge728 I actually don't doubt that. I was going more for his joking online persona who like chaos and murder

[@theonionsystem7779]

@@lux0rd01 still wholesome

[@rinqueen]

If a 911 operator told me “That sounds like a you problem”... Honestly fair enough, guess I’ll die 🤠

[@LoveRemains]

I feel like many emergency call-takers in the US have to refrain from saying this on the daily lol.

[@Ilivepuppys]

I remember when I was younger the elderly couple who lived next door the wife had trouble breathing now we live right down the road to a ambulance station but they took 3 hours to get to his house the husband had to do CPR on his wife I feel Kevin worked as the 911 operator that day....

[@chiefpurrfect8389]

My mom reported a break-in as it was underway once and was legit told to "call back in 30 minutes" because "they were too busy" when she called 911. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. person: "help, I'm being assaulted!" 911: "um can you like, chill?"

[@theonionsystem7779]

@@chiefpurrfect8389 I'm sorry that happened to your mother, I'd of had a meltdown or something if that happened to me

[@narratornavigatorstoryteller]

didn't think i'd see my favourite stardew valley CC on a random call me kevin video but also mood

[@GameSocietyPimps]

I wish I lived in the Horsey District.

[@bruhmomento7013]

Season 5 is the best season of Skyrim for pimps

[@coolbeans6312]

Kevin commits crimes and then is paid to solve said crimes. I respect the hustle.

[@Boundwithflame23]

Kevin is Akechi from Persona 5 confirmed

[@Relocklabs]

I see kevin more like omar from the wire

[@thebiglad6163]

Police officer: who do you think did it Kevin: me Police officer: we'll look into it

[@jackson4672]

The best person to get into the mind of a criminal is a criminal

[@missdire]

People: Getting hit by cars. Kevin: HORSEY!!!

[@wackybatman202]

Sorry can't like this comment, it's already perfect

[@renameagain5808]

_"she...she- she's a woman!"_ *Top 10 Anime Plot Twists*

[@notfound_ej]

i thought the killer was just a crossbow

[@Kvitravn.]

Insert Admiral Ackbar Meme= ITS A TRAP

[@sgrvx8]

I thought the Crossbow Killer was a man that killed crossbows

[@notfound_ej]

@Richard Cranium xD

[@insertnamehere1983]

@@Kvitravn. wait what does this have to do with the crossbow killer being a woman?

[@Oswadomob]

I love how Kevin just calls it “the horse” as if he’s chasing drunk drivers with no rider haha

[@lucisomma6766]

"We'll help as many people as we can" You're SUCH a good person, Kevin

[@sometechydude2324]

Man on phone: I was hurt. By you. Kevin: Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?

[@jakegarlicbread]

It’s funny cause Kevin is usually the one causing the 911 calls

[@MinimiMax]

By working as the operator, that's actually a good strategy. If there's no work, make some.

[@mansanime6180]

bro in the sims universe its gonna be like phone operator : hello 911 whats your emergency random sim : well you see a crazed man is rssurecting the dead selling drugs lighting people on fire with magic and oddly sexy while doing it phone operator: ohh god its jim again ill send the swat team

[@kodakkushi]

Regular KZbinrs: *does everything the right way* Kevin: *horsey police force*

[@madismith1884]

Graystillplays hired horses too! Tends to be a rout of chaos

[@jaydouglas2945]

“My student has cut himself with a sword and is bleeding out” Kevin: it’s not an emergency “I feel light as a feather I’ll be floating soon” Kevin: “oh okay, I think I have to do something”

[@GH0ST1101]

I kinda wanted him to stop the guy from killing himself

[@RustyNips]

To be fair suicide is an emergency and some kid playing with a sword cutting himself is just a lesson learning moment

[@DeathnoteBB]

@@RustyNips Yeah a lesson learned by bleeding out... Hence the call for an ambulance

[@RiderLeangle2]

@@DeathnoteBB And if he bleeds out he'll never make that mistake about playing with a sword again now will he

[@meowmeowfelix]

@@RiderLeangle2 i read this comment in kevin's voice and it fit perfectly

[@AkwaDoll]

"Why would she say that? We were doing so well in code!" Kevin: What kinda cartoons does the girl want to watch?

[@elessar2777]

If Kevin is to answer your emergency call, then that means it’s your end.

[@MinimiMax]

"Hey there friend, my name is Kevin..." "It's a miracle, I have been healed. Thank you." *dies*

[@AnnoyingTiger888]

He is the grim resper.

[@gianna526]

Hell yeah king elessar himself is apart of the cult

[@kennoot7032]

Me: *googles "Concussion Jumping" Google: When returning to exercise after recovering from a concussion, avoid activities that will jolt the head such as [...] jumping

[@patrickculliton2916]

YES! I've always wanted Jim to be my saviour. Now he can help everyone!

[@jackbudi]

“Help” You can’t have problems if you’re dead

[@107-KING]

The moment Jim was born humanity was saved And dammed at the same time

[@deathuwu7545]

help end the suffering.

[@107-KING]

@@deathuwu7545 exactly

[@LoveRemains]

Yeah help bring us closer to meeting death lol.

[@drewgilchrist7333]

I’m just imagining the poor guy riding a horse everywhere

[@ps1hagrid786]

I just imagine a horse in police uniform

[@frosty_teacup]

@@ps1hagrid786 that's a real thing

[@anniedangerface]

As an Irishman, I imagine there's no one better suited to handle the emergency of "angry drunk man" than Kevin.

[@Adamlol642]

Lmao same

[@rx500android]

Caller: "Me and my girlfriend had a fight" Kevin: "did you win???"

[@yourlocaljoyandhappiness8461]

"It's about stoping crime" Where there's crime...there's Jim

[@rx500android]

I love your pfp omg

[@dinolandra]

And where there's Jim, there's crime

[@Kvitravn.]

you are mistaken, where there is crime there is Competition for Jim to put in his basement. Jim is never caught.

[@onograce1327]

@@Kvitravn. well doesn't mean he's caught...

[@timeusthenotverycleverguy3375]

I simp for Nagito

[@banaanzxcvbnm]

Plays in fast forward mode instead of normal "why is everything going so fast"

[@scottylaceygames859]

One day Kevin is gonna call emergency services and he's gonna meet himself on the other end

[@gircakes]

“I’ll send the horsies.”

[@frosty_teacup]

BEND THE KNEE THE OTHER WAY

[@EMS12000]

Kevin: "This is a serious channel, about stopping crime" Also Kevin: "Go horsie!" Hmmmm, of course, I'll pretend that I believe in that

[@still_your_zelda]

Ok this is a silly thing, but I've been subscribed to Kevin since mid 2018 and its both being proud & a sense of bittersweetness to see the Patrons shifted into straight up credits. We've entered a new era of CMK where he's so supported he can't even read all the names. I was unemployed for a good chunk of my time subscribed so I couldn't support the Patreon when he still read them. Anyway, even after all that time I still haven't missed a video. Thank you for the consistency and good humor, Kevo. :')

[@ekuaosei337]

"This is a serious channel." Past Kevin: **nervous sweating**

[@rocketscam]

@Addict true

[@calistusjay60]

That suicide call kinda hit deep. It was way too real. The euphoric episode, high from too many pills, just wanting someone to talk to. This game had no right to make me emotional T_T

[@jimpickensisourwayoflife2126]

Kevin: if you missed the last video Everyone: Kevin we never miss your videos

[@scottmiles824]

Caller: “You’re responsible for his death! “ Kevin: “Do have any idea how little that narrows things down?”

[@nicholasdelpizzo1594]

Why is someone still allowing Kevin to answer 911 calls? He should be fired already. Jim Pickens must be running this police station

[@jackbudi]

There would be no problems in his district, because there would be nobody to have problems to begin with

[@nicholasdelpizzo1594]

@@jackbudi good point, let Kevin think he’s doing something while everyone is dead already thanks to him

[@Liac112]

It seems Jim runs the entire city.

[@Cyrathil]

They're not only in charge of 911 calls, they've put him in charge of the emergency services budget.

[@redhair-kq4gv]

And once again Kevin would make my job in the emergency department so much easier, my patients would either arrive dead or not at all. Thanks for your great efforts to help healthcare workers!

[@gothicanimegirl44]

What does jumping with a concussion do? Make it worse, kill you etc?

[@comradesniper7507]

Kevin you can assign operators to each district so you don’t have to micromanage everything

[@jazzpancake1167]

I need more of this game. I love it. I'm pretty sure we'd all feel safe if we called emergency services and you answered.

[@haileyavril]

his laugh is the serotonin boost i need everyday

[@ChaoticPuffball]

“This game is about stopping crime...” Jim Pickens would like to know your location. Edit: I have the answer, the Crossbow Crusader.

[@noodlepotreal]

Jokes on us, he already knows where we are. Always

[@jammingal141]

"Do a police STING of our own, you know?" *Immediate Game Over*

[@mozamella761]

"Prisoners have escaped in the Horsey District" lmao has the same energy as the lego river man

[@atmywhitson]

🤣

[@pinktribble]

So much!

[@thatfalloutghoul7048]

Guy calls Kevin Kevin: Hey there friend,hows it going,my name is Kevin. Caller: what the heck

[@yourfavouritechannel9609]

More like what the feck

[@copocopocopocopo]

@@yourfavouritechannel9609 More like, Bore Ragnarok.

[@gmonroy852]

"He's......She's......The crossbow killer is a woman." Dun dun dun

[@SigmaSyndicate]

I like to imagine someone calling 911, realizing who they're talking to and calling 911 on a second phone to report Kevin answering a 911 call as an emergency.

[@lbiohazardI]

Straight up platinum, top tier, best in slot, legendary Call me Kevin episode. I literally laughed out loud from beginning to end. Every video Kevin posts makes me laugh, but this was one of his special ones.

[@yourpsychicfriendfredbear]

Kevin: *tells 2 puns* Game: Your reputation was too low.

[@grayanderson2761]

There are few twists in games I've seen Kevin play that he actually got legit surprised, but the look on his face when he hears that the Crossbow Weenie is a woman should belong in the Jim Pickens Memorial

[@ThePuddleOfDoom]

Caller: "We had a fight" Kevin: "Did you win?"

[@francesgardner7070]

Kevin stretching his elbow skin is almost as disturbing as the asmr video.

[@vanjalazarevic6326]

In a parallel universe Kevin actually is an operator for emergency services and it is exactly like this. Think about that.

[@splo_osh]

i don’t want to-

[@emshaps]

it's only right. someone needs to let natural selection take course

[@zachariboi]

"There's so much, I can't solve them all in time" *puts the time in the fastest setting*

[@grayemn1409]

24 hours ago: Masterfully sings a song Now: Telling a man to beat up a teenager

[@obo5059]

It's the many skills of Kevin.

[@g.t.3186]

Ah, the Kevin we know and love.

[@lexidonovan9972]

imagine being fired from your job only to find out you were replaced by a dog.

[@abcdefgheat1888]

Day 36 of asking kevin to restore the tomadachi save

[@yourlocaljoyandhappiness8461]

Ask him to play more RDO or RDR2

[@stevenclark1662]

I NEED more Tomadachi!!!!

[@TheJunky228]

it'll be hilarious if you keep this up into the 400-500 day count

[@protoman6795]

But what about Miitopia?

[@twitchsopamanxx]

"HELP ME PLEASE HE'S GONNA KILL ME!" "Hey there friend how's it going, my name is Kevin and today im going to be helping you" "HES STABBING ME AAAUGH" "Well that's clearly not my fault. Next call!"

[@daniellewebber9693]

why is Kevin’s wenis so stretchy?!

[@RukusTM]

I KNOW WTF!

[@EccentricGrace]

while it definitely isn’t any of my business, unusually stretchy skin is a symptom of some hereditary medical conditions. I don’t know, it isn’t always that. Point is, it’s not too weird genetically for those sorts of things.

[@cormey8772]

It’s strange for it to be that stretchy?

[@alioc3298]

@@EccentricGrace as someone who HAS a medical condition that causes stretchy skin, even mine ain’t that stretchy lmao

[@EccentricGrace]

@@alioc3298 I also .. have a medical condition that causes stretchy skin, and mine is 😭

[@JSainte17]

As a 911 dispatcher I enjoy how much they got accurate. Callers mumbling address always, not getting straight to the point, the angriest ones are just reporting stupid sh*t, and everyone yelling, “JUST SEND SOMEONE!”. Meanwhile we’re like, “Oh my godddddd... there’s so much going onnnnnn.”

[@jimpickensisourwayoflife2126]

People's biggest fear is having Kevin as your last help

[@andreamasuda9711]

“If this was about stopping crime, I would’ve had to stop myself a long time ago” True facts.

[@TheIrishDino]

The best way to kill somebody is to make them believe you are trying to help them. Well, at least that's how Kevin plays this game.

[@IamaPERSON]

Congrats on the heart you're probably gonna get

[@Cakebot2055]

Taking the “call” me Kevin to a new level

[@dynodan896]

Hey kevin, I just wanted to let you know that you are amazing, and I'm so happy that I get to watch your videos, and you're doing an amazing job at making me laugh everyday, I hope you have amazing days! : )

[@IamaPERSON]

:D

[@MrK-tp1gr]

: )

[@anniedangerface]

;)

[@dynodan896]

B)

[@atmywhitson]

❤️

[@-1HP]

19:15 Crossbow sound effect just amazing 😂😂

[@Aymelia-colon3]

Imagine calling 911 and hearing "Hey there friends my name is Kevin"

[@emre833]

Guy: "my back hurts really badly" Kevin: "just stand up" *SPINAL INJURIE*

[@v0idhere_]

If I called 112 and Kevin answered, I would just be like "nevermind" and hang up...gotta save myself I guess

[@JecIsBec]

"I'm gonna add a dog because doggies like water" omg my heart Kevin

[@sparrowsbewertungen6930]

When the horse was send anywhere, i instantly thought about shrek " I need a Hero"

[@lilium9361]

The part at the end when he's listing all the crimes he ignored sent me lol

[@fireraider98]

Caller: So what he can still beat me. Kevin: weakling

[@adamgomez5663]

Desperate person: I have been followed for 10 minutes and I need the cops. Kevin: Um did you ever say hi to them? Desperate person: um, no I think that would be a bad idea. Kevin: What!? I've done that numerous of times and now there my friend now. Desperate person: Well okay, I'll trust you. End call.

[@kl8974]

Kevin is type of guy to ignore a 911 call about a murder, but send multiple cops for a j-walker.

[@Destinylover14]

imagine you steal a twix bar from a shop, you look down a road to the sight of a horse galloping towards you with malicious intent, wearing a police helmet of course

[@brooksbrocc]

"Oh my god people keep calling me!" Wow! It's almost like that's your job!

[@DaniAlchemilla]

Lol 🤣

[@JecIsBec]

Kevin: *accurately reads the situation, realising that this lady was talking in code* Also Kevin: "wrong number sry bye"

[@jacobwheeler1348]

The funny thing about this game is how it literally doesn't let you send a call to another dispatcher, so you're on a suicide call and someone's calling you about a murder and you're just like "I...can't...hang up, but I need to!!"

[@pokabrows]

I appreciate that the game not only allows him to make terrible decisions but also has everything voiced out for all the different terrible decisions he makes.

[@sizurxa]

Game: mow many horses do u want? Kevin: Yes

[@ashleyturner4993]

"This is a serious channel" is the funniest thing I've heard all day

[@thejaraf]

"I'm dying" Kevin: Look at my horse my horse is amazing.

[@sepiasmith5065]

the first video was unbelievably iconic but this is great too 14:30 LMAOOOO perfect for Kevin's channel

[@thedearleadersdoctor5814]

“You can just balance on one leg!” *Falls over*

[@ThatWickedDrummer]

I love the new outro! It's so slick!

[@rob-bls4776]

Its about stopping crime, but little did he know, the crime was in him all along.

[@Seth_Walters]

Love the new outro format!

[@jasminbutyasmin4900]

Ohhh this is the new way of editing you talked about earlier ! It is so nice!

[@Asparagus_stars]

Not watched the video yet but I 10000% expect the “there’s someone in my house” “yes :) it’s you!!” joke. I’m so damn sleep deprived I’ll probably laugh my ass off lmao.

[@IamaPERSON]

Somebody call 911! Kevin's starting fires on the dance floor! Oh no!

[@MrK-tp1gr]

:)

[@IamaPERSON]

@@MrK-tp1gr hey friend, I have good news

[@MrK-tp1gr]

Yes?

[@IamaPERSON]

@@MrK-tp1gr I managed to get Packie Mccreary!

[@MrK-tp1gr]

Congratulations😊👍❤ Ps. From that point on he can be youse in every heist with crew.

[@Jartssen]

Kevin: There is so much going on Also Kevin: Has his game speed on the maximum

[@TheREALSimagination]

Sprained my ancle in 12.th grade. Sat down for 15 minutes, walked up-and downhill for 30 minutes and was bedridden for a week.

[@tragicglamour]

I love a grown man who says “horsey”.

[@melissagarrett9719]

Kevin I just wanted to thank you for always bringing a smile to my face. I got in a really bad car accident today and have been binging your videos to help me get through everything and keeping me laughing even though I'm going to have to have two major surgeries tomorrow. You'll probably never see this, But I really can't thank you enough.

[@ges4934]

Thanks for another great video Kevin! 💜 Damn, that part with the woman calling him mom REALLY sounds like how this woman called 911 and ordered pizza because her mom was being beaten by a guy, and ordering pizza was her excuse to use the phone and get help. The dispatcher that answered did such a good job, and he said he spoke to other dispatchers who said that they would've thought it was a prank and hung up. Theres videos on KZbin about it :)

[@accretor]

Caller: "We had a fight." Kevin: "Did you win?" Me: dead

[@calebwinspear4383]

His shirt is amazing

[@pigeon2806]

Kevin singing rage against the machine made my day

[@dovadragon9058]

Veteran: I have ptsd I'm a burden to my family I don't want to be here anymore. Kevin: Do you like jazz

[@TheRealTonyStark]

Kevin is a true entrepreneur, he’s answering all the 911 calls he’s got from the chaos he’s caused, so he can profit off his own chaos. A true genius!