I used to spend thousands a year on "retail therapy" // how I stopped emotional shopping

[@maddie8415]

Thank you so much for talking about this. Advertisers very much want us to use shopping as a coping mechanism, form of validation, or form of "therapy". It's really odd how the term "retail therapy" is now often used in an entirely serious way, rather than as the self-depreciating joke it started out as. Advertisers constantly tell us "you deserve it" or "you're worth it", it's all in the name of "self-care", etc. We really need to see this for what it is and realize that viewing shopping as a form of therapy will only lead to more problems.

[@shawnaripari]

100% agree with this, well said Maddie

[@alexandrah535]

What an amazing video. I feel you about the obsessive behavior in a vulnerable position. Decades-long severe anxiety has been largely resolved for me, but with Christmas shopping (getting me used to shopping regularly again) and my dog having a severe emergency (raisin poisoning, he ended up OK), I found myself in that cold-sweats, life-or-death need to order yarn or go thrift shopping again. I did go to the thrift store when we were waiting for his kidney results out of desperation to relieve the stress, and I have compassion for myself there. I ended up ordering some yarn due to stress that wasn’t problematic (to finish the project I’m already in the middle of), but 6 hours later, I was back at the obsessive place with a sweater kit I’ve wanted for a long time but wasn’t planning to get for another year or so. I knew I needed to NOT buy it, because I was getting on a shopping cycle even though my dog is OK now. I need to sit with and process the emotions that came up during the scary experience, but while I do that, I need to set up guard rails to make sure I don’t get stuck in a dopamine shopping avoidance cycle that will make dealing with the scary emotions so much harder.

[@shawnaripari]

thank you so much for sharing your experience with us 💗

[@MIOLAZARUS]

This is so spot on. I didnt use to understand why I can be so rational and then spend all my money on stuff I dont need.. it takes a looooong time for me to change this. Thank you sweetheart ❤❤❤ You look so beautiful!

[@shawnaripari]

Thank you Mio! I had similar feelings like why isn't my budget working? What's wrong with me.

[@MIOLAZARUS]

@@shawnaripari yes! And Its so easy to stick to something when everything is calm. But those emotions.. Its interesting😅✨🙈 Im so happy to see you so radiant ✨💕

[@aquamar1003]

This was basically a free therapy session. I learnt a few of these when I was in therapy myself… Writing down how you feel is so strangely powerful ! You think you know, but you don’t necessarily do or don’t know why. Ill think ill incorporate a warning lights list as you suggested. My shopping got better but procrastinating got worse and it doesn’t feel good. Thank you for your excellent advice again :) I really appreciate what you do for us !

[@shawnaripari]

I'm glad you found this video helpful !

[@mnbotanicals]

Wow this was amazing. Reframing this behavior as a stress response is a game changer.

[@arioctober]

This video was incredibly well-made! Thank you!!

[@amiradeshon5501]

Great Topic !!

[@MlleBambi]

Damn Shawna, this is incredibly insightful, thank you so much for this video. Your channel is my favourite, and sometimes I wonder what you watch on Yt because you don’t have the chance to discover your content like the rest of us. In 2024, I’m going to track the reason and other factors for each thing I buy. Like was it online or in store, what was I doing before I bought the thing, how I was feeling, was it a planned pur hase or an impulse, what was the purpose of the thing I bought, etc… to try and see if I emotional spend and what my triggers at all. Thanks again for your channel ! I’m rewatching your year of contentment in preparation for 2024.

[@shawnaripari]

I'm glad you enjoyed the video! I know this isn't quite what you meant, but I was recommended my own short yesterday and it caught me by surprise 😅

[@aeolanyiramoon6260]

I relate to you so much :) Thank you for sharing, you always give me hope

[@bohemianbidoof]

I’m really grateful I found your channel. Thank you for talking about this aspect of overspending that is often overlooked, as you said. I really like the warning light system you outlined. I’ve got some journaling to do to suss out my own lights and come up with redirections for myself. Just in time for the new year!! Thanks again 💖 I look forward to your next video.

[@shawnaripari]

so happy to have you here 💗

[@MIOLAZARUS]

This helps me thinking about all of my coping mechanisms.. Thank you❤❤❤

[@amandalh60]

Appreciate your wellbalanced perspective.

[@Lysiefaithasmr]

It’s so hard, thank you for talking about this in a honest way. I’m a stay at home mom to a toddler and I’m definitely emotional shopping as a coping mechanism for loneliness. I never spend a lot but it’s become a crutch to go to some type of shop every single day, even just to get a juice.

[@shawnaripari]

thank you for sharing

[@BuyLessJess]

Anytime I drink and open Poshmark, I’m about to make some decisions. They might not be bad decisions, I just get bold with the offers and sometimes, ppl take them. I don’t drink and shop anymore.

[@shawnaripari]

Omg. This is exactly what I was doing in the past 1-2 years. Not the drinking but the bold offers. I would be reckless (partly for the thrill of it) and I'd just offer wildly. Sometimes the person would take it, and I'd be like....well shit. The last time I did it it made me realize that it was all about the hunt and the offer if I didn't feel good with someone accepting the offer. Thanks for sharing your experience ❤️

[@maru45382]

Great video and tips! 😊

[@chilli8303]

Thanks

[@shawnaripari]

thank you!! 💗

[@leastidyworld4365]

We call them early warning signs in Britain.

[@MIOLAZARUS]

I have biiiiiig challenges in coping with emotional States!! Thats it. Music and dancing is my best outlet but also makes me stressed😂 isnt it so silly. I have a Long way to go.

[@leastidyworld4365]

Found the video. 😊

[@nicnzb]

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