I've Fallen In Love With The Husband Of The Woman My Husband Is Cheating On Me With r/Relationships

[@Mia-dt3gl]

“You’re divorcing me for cheating?! How DARE you sneak around planning this!” Typical cheater response. 🙄

[@yobabycolin2933]

Take my like!

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Oh yes. Very typical. How dare OP plan a divorce behind her traitor husband's back. Sarcasm aside, OP's lucky to be rid of that tool.

[@reshawshid]

Whenever someone says that their affair partner meant nothing to them, the correct answer is, "So you cheated on me for nothing, then? That's how little you value our marriage?"

[@terintiaflavius3349]

Exactly

[@Happyfoam-lw3yt]

That's a good answer. I'll keep that one in my back pocket. I hope I'll never have to use it.

[@caleanakeyes8336]

❤

[@RequiemPoete]

But you don't understand he weally weally super duper loves Op. /s

[@violacadbury8343]

Bars

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

OP’s husband: “how dare you break my trust and keep the fact you knew about my affair secret.” The lack of self-reflection on this guy my god. Pathetic

[@littleblackpistol]

It's just as much entitlement. He wants what he wants when he wants it - the affair with the married whore when it was exciting and she wanted him, AND the wife and family and image when that the whore didn't want him. He doesn't see his wife as a person with agency and emotions the same way he has them. She's just the background to HIS life and how dare a background undermine him? He's the kind of guy who will bounce from woman to woman, but never leave unless he has a soft landing with the next idiot female lined up.

[@ScooterBond1970]

Like most cheaters, every word out of his mouth is pure unadulterated hypocrisy.

[@ronhall5395]

Lol, this is why she needs to divorce the dude. He only thinks about himself. He had A physical affair while married. He was not in love with the girl he cheated with, it was just something they did. Like that makes it less traumatic? I think.it makes it worst. If you fell in love then sure, it could happen. I bet they broke it off because they felt their respective partners were drifting away. He is deflecting so bad. If she had confronted him as soon as she found out he would have lied about it. Tried to be more careful, but kept doing it. He blew it, not her. I don't blame her for not wanting to sleep with him after his betrayal. You don't do that if your really love your partner. He said he has never loved anyone as much as her. Well apparently he did not love her enough to keep.his pants zipped.

[@ArcFallOrder1919]

I would like to call him a pathetic coward and a hypocrite

[@lynnw7155]

Yeah "plotting and planning in secret"....haha; it's that was an affair is? It's also pathetic that OP even considers taking any blame for this.

[@TheArnaa]

Husband: OP cheated and deceived me by not immediately confronting me when she discovered I was cheating and deceiving her. Translation: I’m angry and upset because all that time I thought I’d got away with having an affair OP was instead setting up a good life for herself and her daughter without me. What a bellend!

[@sonialinsey8083]

UGH I KNOW! Blames her for letting HIM cheat lol. Exiting a living situation takes TIME especially if you’re a dependent or a student at the moment and I saw nothing wrong with her leading him on to finish her studies and get a job. Reddit saints need to lay off of her for staying to plan.

[@kellyalves756]

( Aside: Bellend is such a picturesque word. 😁)

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

100% this.

[@SailorMya]

Right! He was perfectly fine with blaming OP for EVERYTHING wrong in their relationship because he thought he had gotten away with his affair. That is what he was trying to do till OP played an UNO reverse card and threw all his accusations back at him! He is just mad that the argument he prepared to have, about her being the issue, turned around on him and he wasn't ready to defend HIS infidelity! He 100% went into that fight to make OP grovel and feel bad only to be the one groveling at the end!

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I know right? And some of these people at Reddit are essentially calling OP a doormat or an idiot for not leaving her husband right away. Like I'm sorry, but not everyone has the spine you sanctimonious people have. Sometimes it takes some tough love for some people to come out of the fog and some people are trying to be smart while getting out of their toxic relationships. Not everyone is "A Doormat". Now, I know there are doormat partners out there, but OP isn't one of them.

[@DarkAngel65989]

The husband soon to be ex-husband get nerve to get mad at OP. I would like to be a fly in a wall when the ex-husband and ex-wife of OP and J seen them together happy as could be

[@kaykay8855]

Apparently cheaters have a problem with karma.

[@HobieInTheBox]

@@kaykay8855 because they're hypocritical, manipulative liars

[@charlotteemerson5050]

Oh, they will absolutely be beside themselves with outrage. Their spouses were supposed to pine for what was lost. For years. Possibly forever. I would take it slow however due to circumstances. But I think enjoying each other's sense of humor is a huge plus for them.

[@Sarah-oc9zc]

IKR LMAO he’s such hypocrite

[@hmgthatsme]

@@kaykay8855 0

[@GIChiyo]

"He feels cheated and deceived" Hey husband, how do you think she felt when she found out you were cheating?! Some people I swear...

[@britnicox3929]

The fact that she felt she guilty bc she “didn’t work on her marriage” is where they got that she was going to stay with him - it sounded like she was breaking off her relationship with J to work on staying with her husband. I guess no one explained that to her bc she was still salty in the update. I’m glad she left, and I’m sad she didn’t stay with J, but maybe that was also a blessing considering what happened with his mom. The husband is really disgusting for DARING to say she was “neglecting him” and being offended she wouldn’t touch him. Saying SHE chose secrets when he hid an affair, SHE is the problem, SHE is going behind his back, SHE isn’t think of their daughter. He’s selfish garbage masquerading as a man

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

He sure is! This man is definitely selfish, narcissistic and hypocritical.

[@justinthompson6364]

I think the part where J explained she "wanted to stay for her daughter" contributed as well. It wasn't clear there that she only meant temporarily, until she had her affairs in order

[@JustAnotherBuckyLover]

Sooo... they made things up by assuming and acting like they could read minds, and then blamed her for their mistaken beliefs? Sounds about right.

[@charlotteemerson5050]

Well he can't possibly be held responsible for his choices. If you're not getting what you want/need from a relationship there are choices that don't include cheating. If nothing else you can leave first instead of adding insult to injury.

[@Mewse1203]

You might be right but that still doesn't make their lack of reading comprehension correct. After that she specifically says "I know that my marriage is unsalvagable and that I'm doing the right thing leaving it even with that nagging feeling of guilt"

[@zoebarber248]

The first story happened to my brother and his soon-to-be fiancé. Both their ex-partners cheated together at work. His ex and her ex-husband are now imploding, and my brother and his lovely GF are getting engaged next year.

[@draconicfeline6177]

Of course they are imploding cheaters are universally terrible people and aren't right for anyone - not even each other.

[@moonyollie6977]

The fact that (ex) husband had the absolute gall to be mad at HER because she knew but didn't confront him is the shit icing on the trash cake.

[@macylouwho1187]

Perfectly said 😂👍

[@tieardragon4919]

OP was super smart to have her exit plan ready and not just react on emotions. She was always thinking and worrying about her child.

[@queencars802]

I feel like this is Reddits dream 🤣 Every time there's a cheating story and the 2 spouses that were cheated on become friends reddit is always hoping for a romance. It's Reddits fanfic come true 😭😂

[@pamhall6635]

😄😄😄😉

[@Rose-yt5hi]

So true!! 😂😂😂

[@jackchop1576]

I know of 4 different couples who did this type of thing. But I agree. They feel a tad trope-y.

[@dm9078]

The more I listened the more I agree with you.

[@aislynnmari]

That's because most of these are just fiction but that's ok

[@catT5236]

The husband is upset because he thought when he was done with his affair he'd have his wife to go back to & could then play happy families again, now the rug is pulled out from underneath him. Good. He's feeling barely a fraction of what OP went through when she found out he was having an affair with his co-worker. Also OP needs to remember some of that anger & use it against her stbx husband, throw some harsh truths in the lying weasel's face!

[@SailorMya]

Cheating husband "WHY wont you touch ME!!! Your neglecting ME!!!" OP "Didn't you neglect ME for your girlfriend!?" Cheating husband *surprise Pikachu face "That is different because I left her for US and I'm confronting you on YOUR problems not mine!" He was so hyper focused on laying ALL the blame at OP's feet because he thought he had gotten away with his indiscretion in the marriage. If OP didn't know everything he did, he would have 100% turned it into her being the bad guy, never admitting to his affair, or how it played a part in tearing them apart. Honestly, he is still downplaying the affair and what it did to their marriage... He probably twisted it in his head that her lack of trying is what caused the affair (in his mind) and is now realizing that she knew the entire time, so now he is seeing his cheating caused her distance not the other way around! He thought it was just a "her" problem but now he sees it is a "him" problem because it has always been a "him" problem... Kind of stupid of him to see his wife grow distant from him while he is having an affair and not put the two together that she "might" know... I wonder why he ended the affair because it feels as if he wanted to fix things with his wife without coming clean about HIS affair...

[@owl7072]

Story 1: I feel so bad for Op 🥺 I hate that she's blaming herself for "breaking the family" when it was literally her husband that did that. It's one thing to have feelings, that's natural. It's another to act on them, which was he did. Op is actively trying to avoid seeing Jay and feeling guilty for being in love with him all for the sake of her daughter and a man who cared so little about anything other than himself that he had a full on affair without thinking or caring at all about how it could affect his wife and daughter. Edit: "If you thought about our daughter for a second-" like you did when you cheated in the first place 🤨 boy sit down, you don't get to talk about hiding things and trying to fix stuff when you're the one who hid things and wrecked everything to begin with 🚶🏻‼️ "I get all that" I don't. It's literally his fault. Maybe he wouldn't feel that way if he didn't have an affair 🤷🏻

[@memyselfandi7782]

WOOOOOOOOWWWWW THE AUDACITY OF OPS HUSBAND. I think he's just mad because he expected her to be more emotional about it and she JUST. DIDNT. CARE. 😂😂😂😂😂

[@MMKMoore1]

You can totally tell who's been through this type of situation, and who has not. When you learn there's cheating, it's much easier to "just leave" a dating relationship than a marriage, especially when there's kids involved. I'm very angry at OP's ex in that last update as well. My ex said similar BS to me when I refused to stop our divorce process when his AP ghosted him. The gall these cheaters have! But they felt justified in their cheating in the first place, so of course the consequences of their actions is our fault, in their minds. I'm glad OP broke things off with J. I can totally see that relationship as more of a trauma bond than anything else. I hope they can continue to be good friends with each other and take time to heal before exploring anything further.

[@carolroberts4614]

My ex was the same! Got mad because I instigated the divorce because of his cheating, then they split up, so he thought we could play happy families(!)

[@ginathecookie]

Very well said comment I agree Hopefully if they heal well, they can see about reopening things, see if it's still there and worth it. It could be, it could not be. I wish them both luck, however.

[@stellamccoy5259]

I love how they say how much they love them while boning someone else. OMG!!! I am laughing so hard. He is angry and feels cheated. How hilarious is that.

[@madambutterfly1997]

How dare you cheat and then get mad that your spouse secretly plots to leave you because of it

[@veezopolis]

She also cheated for a year

[@madambutterfly1997]

@@veezopolis touché. she did technically cheat emotionally on her husband. But under the technicality of the marriage was already dead after she found out he was cheating. It's fair game.

[@randomusername3873]

@@veezopolis that's not even remotely the same thing, lol

[@randomusername3873]

@@veezopolis but it's not cheating if you are planning your way out after discovering the husband's infidelity. But I agree that she shouldn't think about that at the moment

[@macylouwho1187]

@@veezopolis all is fair in love and war. When he cheated first-she was fair game. Fair is fair. If he already did it, she is absolved of any guilt-especially when his was physical and hers was not. And I don’t care if you don’t like it, miss “pious” 😂. No one likes people riding a high horse and acting high and mighty over something they weren’t even a part of! Easy for you to judge when you aren’t in her shoes!

[@AndyyWithAY]

I hate OP's STBX so much. He's got some type of personality disorder. He cheats on his wife who he claims he loves more than anything. Then he blows up on OP for "deceit" and plotting and planning to leave and have a life without him. If she cared about their daughter she would have confronted him, so they could do therapy?? What a drama llama and POS. Nothing is on him even though in actuality this is all on him.

[@blackbird4852]

Ikr?? I had to collect my chin from the floor after his reaction. That assumption that he will be fine because either he will never get caught, or if he does they will do therapy and then all will be okay. So now OP "cheated" him out of both options, how dare she, its all her fault now! Excuse me what. In what world is that man living. I'm amazed OP managed to hold out a whole year after finding out the truth about him and very glad that she isn't falling fo his bs now.

[@SailorMya]

@@blackbird4852 It is a good thing that OP didn't try therapy with him because he sounds just like all the AHs that use couples therapy to manipulate their SOs... He thought he could manipulate her if she ever found out but never considered that she might not tell him till she felt nothing for him anymore. Hard to control someone who doesn't give 2 F's anymore...

[@shells500tutubo]

Unfortunately, the husband's behavior is so common as to be cliche, not even close to a personality disorder. I was predicting what he was going to say after the first few minutes. "How could you?" "You're going to tear the family apart." Blah, blah, blah. For god's sake, man, be a little bit original.

[@shells500tutubo]

I love Op for acting responsibly and strategically and not emotionally. Her husband, a walking cliche, is only upset because SHE isn't upset, just matter of fact. The reality is that divorce is just the breaking of a contract, the difference from a regular contract being the emotional involvement of the two people in it. It is best if you have lost all feeling, as Op has, so it can be approached that way. And good for her for not getting entangled with a physical relationship, even if there was an emotional one. It is best in these situations to stay away from relationships until the dust settles. Op also did not make the mistake of thinking she should stay for "the children". If she did, she would be teaching her daughter that this is how a woman is treated in a marriage. Overall, well played, Op, well played.

[@bellagaur6594]

The audacity, he's a cheater, manipulative and Gaslighter. Trying to make this all her fault and being upset the sheer audacity. I was fuming throughout the whole update

[@jeannebuttons5301]

Jilted Partners Find Each Other: I'm actually kind of proud of OP and Jay, they both agree to work on a way to end their own respective marriages that gives the student mother the time and resources to set up an exit plan and when things start developing romantically between these two people they don't jump on each other's beds and stoop to the level of their cheating spouses. I do hope that down the road OP gives a life update after the divorce is final so we can find out how things ended up going.

[@k3upikachu]

I'm trying not to be annoyed that OP is letting her husband guilt trip her about hiding her knowledge of the affair, but damn she needs to stand up for herself. It's so gross that he finally came back to their marriage and expected her to be totally fine, then got mad that she quietly handled her emotions rather than blowing up their lives. Maybe she should give him the reaction he's expecting.

[@SteviiLove]

For real!

[@rubystone9074]

He probably wanted her to fight for him, fight for "them", but OP decided to take it all with as much grace as possible, and he hates this because he knows shes being the bigger person. Her reaction was opposite to the usual reaction when someone's SO cheats. I bet he didn't like being blinde sided by how little he ment to her now, because now he has no one, and doesn't want to face the music. Idiot. He deserves everything coming his way.

[@JustAnotherBuckyLover]

Tell me that you have no idea what it's like to be emotionally abused without telling me that. Which is great for you, and I wouldn't wish it to be any other way... but it's not as easy as just not "letting him guilt trip her".

[@bambicrandi]

It’s not a fresh wound for her like how it was with him. She was over it already. Not giving him a reaction was probably the best thing, because to him she doesn’t care. And that’s way more painful than fighting.

[@JustAnotherBuckyLover]

@@minasenegal7565 Sorry you lack empathy for others, then.

[@samoanjoseph1457]

I can't believe I have to say this. YOU DON'T GET TO CHOOSE HOW YOUR PARTNER FEELS ABOUT YOUR AFFAIR.

[@charlotteemerson5050]

I think OP staying in the marriage was the best thing she could've done. She was able to prepare herself physically, financially, mentally, and emotionally to restart her life and move on. She will now be able to provide herself and her daughter with a decent life on all those same levels. I think she will also be a much better co-parent for waiting. She let her intellect prevail over her emotions.

[@zulaikagould9230]

I agree with you.

[@Happyfoam-lw3yt]

It's just super unfortunate that it has to be that way. I couldn't imagine gritting my teeth and staying silent for that long.

[@yourmom2189]

What really amazes me is the strength and determination OP had. Like I know I wouldn’t have been able to keep my mouth shut for over a year! Wow!

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

😂The title. The drama. I’m ready

[@ajakuk1]

Yep. As soon as I read the title I was ready for the drama that much I dropped my phone clicking. 🤣🤣

[@nataliazakula3400]

Ooooh yeah

[@rustypotatoes]

oh boy im in for a treat

[@janiceandthomas]

Yeeeesss lol

[@KSangel180]

This reminds me of the plot of, "in the mood for love." A man and a woman find out their spouses are having an affair they fall for each other but, don't want to be like the cheaters so they see each other over and over again, as friends. Pining for each other and never sealing the deal. It was a really hard movie to watch cause you just want them to get together already but they never do. Edit: Needed punctuations.

[@RayWolf666]

I think hearing that 'They/it meant nothing.' is the worst thing to hear after being cheated on. Cause that means you were willing to cheat/hurt your partner for 'nothing', that you value them less than nothing and I honestly can't think of anything that would hurt worse than that.

[@Michael.CrazedAlaska]

I like how people assumed OP was going to stay with her cheating husband because she made sure she could look good for the courts for custody, does Reddit seriously not realize that women need that kind of security before they leave a lot of the time? Court goes, “she can’t house herself, doesn’t have a job, primary custody goes to dad because house and home,” ESPECIALLY if she doesn’t have family nearby that isn’t the detriment of stability of the daughter.

[@randomusername3873]

I'm always baffles by how evil cheaters are. Trying to explain that the person you were fucking didn't mean anything to you only proves that you were happy to ruin your wife life for no reason The fact that he has the audacity to be mad because she didn't look upset enough only proves he wanted to hurt her The fact that he mentioned his daughter is worthless since he didn't think about her while destroying the family

[@jackchop1576]

The husband needs to get into politics. Holy hell that man can dodge responsibility and spin everything.

[@victoriapyles7752]

Also so many people are ready to bash op for how long it took for her to get out.. but English isn’t her first language, they’re likely not based in the US.. where everyone just assumes most stuff like this happens. like he could have straight taken the daughter. She’s essentially a SAHM with no income or stability. She didn’t mention any family or friends she could rely on. And most people don’t plan for their spouse to be cheating narcissist to have a nest egg if you need to get out.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I know right? So much victim blaming by sanctimonious individuals. Maybe to them, she's a doormat. But to me, OP is a strong beautiful person. And I'm so glad she left her husband, she deserves better than him.

[@abigailclarke9713]

@@PrincessQ-fj9ly I agree.

[@sadtitties222]

@@PrincessQ-fj9ly Hell, Reddit is obsessed with calling people "doormats" even when they are in ABUSIVE relationships! Like, have they completely forgotten how abuse works, jfc?! Honestly, I shouldn't even be surprised anymore. This is Reddit after all. 😑

[@jeanproctor3663]

The "husband" is a total hypocrite and thinks it's a big thing for him to rant and rage about his wife "denying him intimacy" when he was the one that started an affair. I'm glad that OP is dumping his lying arse because that's what he deserves. It's no wonder that her and J started to see each other and it's to their credit that they didn't consummate their own relationship. Poor OP. I do still hope that her and J get back together. It must be a really confusing time for them both and I wish them both the very best.

[@SheenaReine]

HE feels cheated and deceived? i’m sorry, which one of them had the affair? the audacity of this man is unmatched.

[@bennyfugazzi1054]

I love how the cheater is lecturing her on trust 😂

[@AndyyWithAY]

OP is emotionally and physically done with her husband, so when she's ready she might as well give things with J a chance. Nothing really to lose. OP has nothing to feel guilty about her, her husband cheated not OP

[@chasefrost1401]

The stuff about the outrage at the op was mind boggling, leave him immediately, tell him you know etc... That is extremely impractical, she has no money, and was almost done with school. What she was doing really was for the best for her and her daughter. Also because of the gall of the husband, he's mad she didn't confront him sooner? Tough shit, now he knows a fraction of what she felt.

[@yeahyeahyeah3724]

The AUDACITY of her husband to get mad at her for not saying that she knows that he was having an affair is OUTSTANDING. Some people are just so shameless. Smh

[@MarkNarrations]

Yeah, the title hurts my head too

[@ComaLies225]

Honestly, I misread it as “I’ve fallen in love with the woman my husband is cheating on me with” 😅

[@madgevanness4011]

To sum it up: you don’t owe honesty to someone who is not honest with you.

[@amymarieling3481]

i think J could be one of the men that are 1 in a million ! he put you and your daughters needs before is own that’s a true man ! way to go J !!!

[@sonialinsey8083]

He seems lovely but sometimes getting together right away isn’t the best decision. Seems like she put her daughter first no matter what. She’s still in touch with J and maybe they will work out!

[@kissedbypalefirex]

ops ex husband has a lot of nerve, if he truly loved op & their daughter he would never have cheated in the 1st place. one thing that really annoys me is when cheaters say "it meant nothing"...so you blew up your marriage,life family "for nothing". therapy isnt going to fix anything.

[@kimberlyjones8152]

Yes I was looking for this comment

[@victoriapyles7752]

NGL, I worried about half way through that J made it up to get close to her for.. idk, revenge or something? Really stick it to the boss? But her husband just turned out to be a narcissist lmao “what about meeee? It’s just not fair you’ve had a year to plan for a future with out me, what am I supposed to do?” Who cares? Lmao

[@raydenn6027]

I think that OP and J are having a best friends relationship as of now. It is for the best that they sort out their divorces before they start thinking about a romantic relationship. They have taken the high ground in the disaster that has killed their marriages. I sense that their love is being bottled up inside them. When the divorces are finalised it could erupt to the surface like a champagne bottle. It would be great if there was an update after all the dust settles. I hope that everything works out well in the future.

[@myounakami]

The husband was projecting onto OP so hard you'd think she was a white board.

[@dash9641]

Mark getting pissed off at the cheek of this ex husband made me crack a grinch smile at work. I freaked out my customer I was serving because I had idea I was doing it. I'm just thinking in my head, "That cheeky son of a so and so. Tell him Mark."

[@nolav9280]

I'll say it, I think OP and J are smart to stay apart for a while. It's the healthiest thing for them from all aspects. Going instantly from one relationship to another (especially considering the context) is something they'd definitely regret down the line.

[@madambutterfly1997]

If you truly and genuinely love me as much as you claim you do, you would never in a million years look for something strictly physical with other people.

[@redtailarts101]

Story 1: OP, it's not cheating. Even though you're married, you plan to divorce. You aren't divorced yet because of circumstance but the romantic relationship has ended and you are no longer committed to each other. You're allowed to see other people

[@dm9078]

This happened in my old church. Deacon and his wife lived next door to another couple in the church. Deacon and the next door wife started cheating. Betrayed husband found out and told deacon’s wife. They started a revenge affair. Eventually it all came out and after the dust settled the wives just switched houses. Deacon lost his seat on the deacon board but when I left all four were still members of the church. But I don’t understand why they are worried about cheating? Once the spouses cheated to me the marriages were over.

[@Raaslen]

The audacity of OP's ex to get angry at her, the sheer audacity...

[@jenniferfoote5442]

Grrrr! The audacity of the hopefully ex-husband has me soo angry! Narcissistic people are crazy making 😤 I hope she and J are somehow able to be together in the near future

[@GoldLove21]

I remember a similar story my great grandmother told me about two couples who were boon friends and niebors. Grew up next to each other same farming community same ages, even married around the same time, even had kids around the same time. Unfortunately as does happen sometimes husband A and wife B fell out of love with thier spouses and started an love affair , when the other spouses found out they took comfort in each other, and well one thing lead to another and they too were having an affair. Now since divorce wasn't really a thing, the couples merely decided to " Switch" . Husband A moved wife B in and husband B moved wife A in. On paper every one was still married to thier og partners but in practice they were married to the other spouse. Apparently they were happier this was and everything worked. I even do believe I meet wife A and Husbands A and b at a funeral once long ago( I live in the same rurel community) both elderly and long passed by now, but they seemed content with the life they've had.

[@AndyyWithAY]

It's clear that Reddit is a cesspool when stories like this one get a barrage of vitriol. Like for what reason? OP is likeable and level headed. She's going to leave when she's more financially stable. And some people stay after cheating. That's a valid choice. Just because it's not yours, doesn't mean you can berate someone else for a valid choice

[@turquoiseheart6320]

OP is one of those genuine classic romantic people who do everything through their consciense and feel strongly but rationally. An ultra mature person. Someone who people will come to for advice and care. Someone worthy of love imo. Her STB ex is an idiot for wasting all that and for what!? I hope she has her happy ending without complications, a long wait might be the only thing to suffer through but at least not losing daughter or a chance at true love and happiness.

[@samanthasmiles9112]

Did he really have the audacity to say that OP chose "secrecy" and "lying" when HE was having an affair??? 😂😂😂 Run, OP. Run. He's a narcissist. "I never meant for it to blow up this soon." Girl, it's been a freakin year. Move the F on. This is just sad for your daughter. This has gone on way too long. This is why everyone assumed you were taking him back because you gave up, possibly, the love of your life for a man who literally views you as a backup. How do you know he dumped the affair partner? I'm guessing she dumped him because she realized what an amazing man she has at home. Jay sounds amazing.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Had to pause another video and come over here. The title is JUICY!!

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Same here.

[@AndyyWithAY]

@@PrincessQ-fj9ly Princess, I wasn't disappointed watching this one as soon as it dropped. It was good!!

[@stephanien6237]

Wonder what would have happened if (when he “broke it off with his affair partner” ) that he came clean to OP? Instead, he cheated on her and hid it. The audacity of him being angry with her is not to be believed.

[@platinum_noelle]

How dare the ex-husband get mad at OP for not completely nuking her life with no stability after HE CHEATED! She wanted to make sure she could see and take care of her child, the _audacity_ to turn it around and try to blame her! That's gotta be some form of gaslighting. Also the fact that OP and Jay were able to step back to keep from emotionally or physically cheating while married really does show that cheating doesn't "just happen", it's a 100% coherent choice.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

The audacity and hypocrisy of the husband is unbelievable! ETA: Mark said it better than I could lol

[@mugen3603]

OP is stone cold and rational about her situation, and I love it. The commenters who bitched at her for staying with the cheater while she gets her life in order are all overemotional imbeciles. It's not even about them and they don't even have the prudence to think about the situation rationally. They just want her to lash out and burn everything to the ground right then and there. Stfu, idiots. There is a child involved. She has no job and is still dependant on him for financial support. There are important things at stake here. I applaud OP for her fortitude for being able to grit her teeth and stay with that slimeball for over a year as she planned and secure a future for herself and her daughter. That takes a lot of emotional endurance and I'm proud of her for it.

[@marinaenlund3124]

Give Poppy a warm hug. I'm trying to get my mind of my beloved Tyson that died on Friday.

[@yesthatmousyiris4887]

Reddit people hating on OP don't understand how complex it can be.

[@heatheraucoin5832]

Husband- I’ve noticed these last few months that we haven’t been intimate. Wife- busy, low sex drive Husband- we’re a couple, we should communicate with each other or one of Will stray. Wife- I’ve known about your affair with co worker over a year Husband- what? No I’m not, who told you, wait I can explain, it didn’t mean nothing, I stopped, I want to work on us now. Me- So after you had your fun, you wanna work on your marriage NOW. Husband- wait if you knew why didn’t you confront me then? Me- Then, now, WTF is the difference? She’s about to divorce you and can be with other women. Husband- How could you have kept this secret for a whole year and now want to leave w/o working on things? Gaslight Me- Wife should have said,”You kept secret about your side chick and now you wanna act like it’s MY fault we’re divorcing. I don’t want yo ass, I can’t stand to feel your touch. It’s over, go get your 🍆 wet with someone else.

[@Tammohawk1]

It's very easy to sit on the sidelines and tell someone to leave. It's not always that easy, especially when children are involved. Until you have been in someone's shoes, don't judge. I also couldn't believe the cheek of the husband getting angry at OP for not confronting him sooner. Really guy? He should be thankful she didn't walk out the moment she found out and took everything she could with her. Some people.

[@caelum8160]

Story 1: OP deserves so much better, me personally I wouldn't jump straight into a new relationship right after Divorce but they seem like a good match. The comment mentioning therapy really said it all, I hope it works out for them. ETA: Cheating Husband and Wife are so awful, I will never understand why cheaters do what they do. The commenters telling OP to stay in her marriage are probably cheaters themselves or cheater apologists and neither are a good look lol 💀

[@LilySaintSin]

It's not black and white. People on Reddit seem to advise making decisions on emotions rather than rationale.

[@LaineyBug2020]

I really hope she doesn't let her husband DARVO and Gaslight her. The nerve of saying he's never loved anyone like he loved her, it was just physical! Why did he do something so vile and hurtful to her if he loved her that much? Why risk everything for something that meant nothing? It's just another load of crap! I hope she keeps her focus!

[@rmhartman]

"if you had thought about our daughter you would have confronted me earlier" if you had thought about our daughter you would not have had an affair.

[@arleneclark6369]

Jesus this guy has balls accusing her of secrecy??

[@ErisstheGoddessofmanhwas]

Makes me mad that op even trying to explain to her ex why she didn't tell him .He knows that she will leave with him because she has a job and is home. He knew that if she told him sooner, he would take her daughter and kick her out of the house .That's why he is complaining in the end because he knows that he is stupid to cheat and now says he loves her more than anything. He is a scam.

[@lovinglifebutnotonearth3909]

Confront him sooner? Why do cheaters think they have a right to demand couple's therapy when the victim wants to leave? And when cheaters say it meant nothing tells you that they never valued you because it means they threw the relationship away for nothing

[@paulastephenson1862]

So glad she is getting rid of the narcissistic jerk of a husband who doesn't take ownership of his actions.

[@worldissuesmatter1643]

I worked with two women with the same last name. Turns out they were friends and one fell in love with and then married the other’s husband. The other two people had a long term affair but never married. The only thing we all thought was, ‘how can they work side by side every day?’

[@momo382844]

OP understood the assignment! Ex is salty because he didn’t have time to con her into staying in the marriage. Go, OP! 👏🏾👏🏾

[@CarinaCoffee]

The people that went after OP are idiots, it's not easy to just up and leave. Yeah I agree that one update sounded like she wavered, but really she was just dealing with her emotions. I think she really could have used a therapist during that time

[@patriciaalikhani9269]

I have a friend divorcing. She too stayed awhile to get financially stable and keep it civil. Her soon to be ex has gone scorched earth, quitting his job to avoid child support, stalking, weaponizing the kids etc. My friend is a shadow of her former self. He’s trying to “ break” her. He’s sued for full custody, not because he wants it, he wants her. If he can’t have her, he will break her. She tells me “that this is why women stay”. Please don’t judge people based on your experiences.

[@indiashante1560]

The audacity of opie's husband! I I don't get how anyone could be so judgmental of OP when her and Jay kept her feelings at to a minimum. They went about the situation the best they could. I hope Op updates one more time in the future and at her soon to be ex-husband and his affair partner get all the karma they deserve.

[@maggpiprime954]

_OOOOOOH!!_ I had to pause the video a couple of times to "tell off" that traitor of a husband and father! Whether it's with Jay or somebody else, or just herself, I hope OP can find happiness.

[@rustypotatoes]

one mark story lets gooooooo 😂 i always love one longer one than multiple, i like hearing the deets abt the ppls lives 🤷‍♀️

[@AndyyWithAY]

Good things fall apart so better things can fall apart. Out of shared despair and betrayal, a beautiful love may have blossomed

[@janglesthearsonist5265]

Damn good single story video Mark! I hope we get more updates from OP or Jay.

[@yeahyeahyeah3724]

"If you thought about our daughter, you would have confronted me earlier." BRUHHHH IF YOU CARED ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER, YOU WOULDN'T CHEAT. WTF. SOME PEOPLE JUST DOESN'T HAVE ANY COMMON SENSE.

[@leaflet1686]

I hate that people blasted OP for not leaving sooner... Like seriously people? Leave how? Go where? No job, no money, no nothing? Grow up people, sometimes live sucks and you can't just pack your things and leave! If you have one person in mind, who you can just run off to, or if you have the necessary money to just pay 3 month of rent and afford a moving truck/company, than you are one of the lucky few. Not everyone has that option...

[@UchuKejiMovan]

She shouldn't have told him any of her plans. Just let him know you know and continue planning

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you, take a deep breath let it out slowly, and lower your shoulders. Know that you are important to someone even if you feel like no one loves you, guess what I do. I'm so proud of you being here. Thank you. Now make sure you take care of yourself and drink some water, eat something and take a stretch break.💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@Qwerty95ish]

"She ment nothing!!!!" Glad to see how little you will throw away your for. It must have been real special to you.

[@DragonflyandTheWolf]

I think OP took the absolute best path when finding out about her cheating husband. She didn't act rashly. She came up with a game plan to get out of that situation so that she'd be set up to be a single parent. Now her financial situation can't be used against in a custody hearing. It will put her on equal footing with her husband regarding custody, and he wont get to leverage their daughter against her in an attempt to get her to stay.

[@MsTemptation]

I’m actually annoyed on op’s behalf. Seriously the number of idiots who expected her to just dive in and divorce her cheating ex to get with the other guy is just worrisome. Her marital problems isn’t some dumb romcom. It has a lot of jagged edges. There are two families involved and op is trying to get her situation sorted out so that she can take care of herself and her children who are a part of this equation. Reddit tends to be full of idiots who think that people should jump out of one bad situation and right into another all willy-nilly. Seriously grown the fuck up.

[@Abby_Normal_1969]

"He feels cheated and deceived..." Yeah, nah. He is the cheater, he is the deceiver. All OP did was figure out an exit strategy and put her daughter first. She had plenty of opportunity and reason to cheat, she did not.

[@saracha6072]

Smart woman. If she just left, she’d be a homeless, jobless student… little chance getting custody of her daughter. I think she made the best decision any heartbroken person could make. It takes a strong person to leave, but a STRONG person to take the opportunities to come out better. One time I can say someone knew what they were doing by staying. You can’t apologize and guilt someone out of resentment they’ve held for a year. It’s why he went from denial to guilt to excuses to blame to anger so fast. It had been a long ass time. There was no chance he could change the mindset she had for a year and THAT is the only thing that pissed him off.. that he couldn’t possibly talk her out of it. Lady knew what she was doing.

[@precious_toebeans]

I'm sorry, the husband feeling cheated after all this is the most infuriating form of hilarious. This poor op has taken potentially the best course of action and now he's all mad because he knows how she felt by now feeling it.

[@paulastiles5507]

OP's husband is mad that she didn't let on she knew he was cheating while she planned her exit from the marriage? That is some peak audacity there, son. I wish her luck on her way out and hopefully, if the stars align, she can be with J or someone like him. Who knows? She may even discover she has a libido after all when she's not with a lyin', cheatin', gaslightin' snake. I disagree with OP, though, that her marriage was not abusive. STBX definitely sounds emotionally abusive if he's really got her believing the failure of the marriage is her fault. He's the one who killed it dead.

[@abelink9229]

12:04 OP! No! F to saving marriage! Healthy relationships are so much more important! Don't torture yourself, go get therapy if you can! I hope a couple years later, when OP has a stable job and is living independently, and hopefully J's mother gets better, they can come together and try that relationship.

[@mageninja3261]

What in the hallmark. Im getting my tea ☕️.

[@annabethsmith-kingsley2079]

It’s funny when she says she doesn’t understand how affairs work because she had one, too.

[@aaronmedley7606]

He got angry at her what a POS

[@TheIronwil]

OP is seriously weak. She never took a real stand throughout the entire story. Fell in love with someone else, but doesn't leave to be with them or cut it off entirely. Instead she keeps in touch but doesn't meet up physically. It was like hearing a story of a high school crush, with all the immature decisions those come with. She only accuses her husband when she lost her temper... and then accepted anger from him? She's like a leaf on the water, no agency or will of her own.

[@lc77713]

I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought so! Like I get leaving takes time but geez. Take a stand for yourself - it would have saved a lot of frustration and time.

[@ComaLies225]

*Whenever Mark uploads a new video* Me: *Does a waffle twerk in celebration*

[@joshmcatee689]

Waffle twerk is now in my personal lexicon. Thank you.

[@Germania72]

The cheater feels cheated?🤣 That's a new one. He had the nerve to say "why didn't you say anything?". LOL She's better without him. This affair fizzled out, but when there's another pretty thing in his vicinity, Is he going to control himself? I don't think so. If she forgives him, he'll take it as permission to cheat again because he has the proof that she won't leave him. The best of both worlds!