I WAS NOT READY... | Ren - Su!cIde (Official Music Video) | REACTION

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🎵 Original Video 📺: • Ren - Su!cIde (Officia...
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#ren #react #reaction #musicvideo #love #loveyourself #xxBrandy

[@SlayWithBrandy]

You are loved. You are important. You are beautiful. YOU MATTER ❤

[@rexrogers1859]

Thank you

[@bob2shred894]

So dont you! And dont forget that.

[@ZaCk_vFL_wHiTFiELd]

About 4 years I ago I was 5 seconds away from downing a bottle of pills and calling it a life. But then two things happen my phone rings and I song comes on Pandora a reason to fight by Disturbed I know how it might sound but that song came on at the right moment. It saved my life it is now one of my favorite songs and I listen to it every year on the day I was gonna take my life. I am not gonna sit here and tell u I'm cured because I'm not I will never be. I have good days and awful days. But I haven't thought about taking my life in 4 years. And I got a tattoo with 5 seconds on it now. Much love to you brandy 😘❤️🤗

[@DrunkGeneral]

[@timm2428]

I pulled the trigger, the gun jammed and Im so glad it did. I fight ptsd every single day but its a fight I am glad to be able to fight.

[@philk9227]

Beautiful, heartfelt reaction Brandy. Ren's pain and anguish in this is palpable and heartbreaking. This cynical 57yr old has heard this song many times and yet I still shed tears with you. Thank you for both the reaction and the reinforcement of Ren's important message. All the very best from the UK ❤

[@SlayWithBrandy]

and thank you for being here and for the kind words

[@ToMPaSHKoV]

Ren said he sat on this song (first half) for well over a year and was dreading releasing it because he said it felt incomplete compared to the rest of the album; and it was. He then had a conversation where he opened up about Joe's suicide and in the aftermath felt there was a way to finish this song, so he added the last 2 minutes. Ren said that not only was that section not rehearsed, it wasn't even fully written. Ren sat at his keyboard just playing and crying and whenever he thought of a new line he ran into his vocal booth and recorded it, whether he was crying or not. The entire spoken word section took him less than 2 hours to write and record. As seems to be the case with so many musical masterpieces it was a short connection to the flow state, that inside voice, the magical muse that gives us so much when it chooses to, that gave us this brilliant work.

[@SlayWithBrandy]

[@annebiebrich9155]

Ren has this beautiful ability to sing and speak straight into our hearts and souls! He makes you feel what he feels !

[@SlayWithBrandy]

very much so

[@deepdragon1757]

I have seen this video countless times through so many reactions……. Yet I still cried with you.

[@SlayWithBrandy]

[@mcflyjp]

The genius in this song is that that last part was added very soon before the song came out. And that part hits the most and makes the song take a huge turn and shows why everything in the beginning of the song is happening. Ren resonates just by being emotionally vulnerable to everyone.

[@christianwculver]

This song is very rough for me to listen to but I keep listening to it because it definitely is an important reminder because "It never really felt like the right time" is definitely something I feel in my soul cuz I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it, I think about it all the time actually but like you said there is no right time, and while it might not feel like it sometimes more than others it is worth it to just keep going cuz I also think about what it would do too so the ending hurts so much cuz both the pain in his voice and it puts into perspective for me that I wouldn't want to put my family through that, I wouldn't want to put my close friends through that and hell I wouldn't want to put you, Slashley or any other amazing streamers I follow through that cuz I know they care about me too and remembering that is enough to think about keeping going most days cuz I don't want to hurt anyone by leaving them in that way even if those demons are loud sometimes

[@SlayWithBrandy]

love you ❤️

[@DyvmSlorm]

I believe you've hit Ren's point from the two sides of this song on the head... twice.

[@im2yz4u17]

Consumate stroy teller, singer, actor, friend. Ren simply amazes each of us. Thank you for your wonderful reaction and contribution to the community.

[@SlayWithBrandy]

Thank you too! ❤️

[@peterveste6976]

thank you for reacting to this beautiful and powerful song sending big love from the UK ❤❤ Ren has started a movement of love ❤❤

[@SlayWithBrandy]

indeed he has

[@xdaniedx]

Ren's heavy breathing at the transition represents him being out of breath from running as fast as he could to the bridge where Joe was. He got a call saying Joe was was there and he was thinking about jumping. Ren lived was closest to the bridge so he got dressed ran there as fast as he could and calling Joe the whole time and it's phone would ring alot and go to voicemail so he thought he still okay. When Ren got there he didn't see Joe anywhere so he called his phone and immediately it said, " this phone is no longer in service" and you only get that message when a phone has been broken or submerged in water and no longer working. So Ren was two minutes too late 😢 RIP JOE Hughes and RIP to my family members, friends and the brothers and sisters I served with as well as everyone else in this world who are no longer with us due to suicide. You'll never be forgotten. I hope you all found the peace that eluded you in life.

[@robertgray6577]

You have so much empathy and compassion. You are a Lovely Beautiful young lady , God bless you

[@SlayWithBrandy]

Wow, thank you

[@NightFogFilms]

Somewhere on the comments page of the Suicide video Ren wrote this but it wasn’t pinned so it can get lost in the comments. This is beautiful and relevant to the song and everyone should read it. Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write. Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday. I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again. This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary. Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe. Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then. On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left. Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late. Joe’s body was never found. Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe. As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since. My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew. Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came.

[@SlayWithBrandy]

thank you.

[@jamesdoherty6558]

thank you for uploading this

[@SlayWithBrandy]

❤️

[@renaybrown2767]

Seeing your raw realness is exactly what I feel listening to Ren, some things are deep and yes need to be an open conversation!! I thank you for being real xx

[@DyvmSlorm]

For me, the answer is contentment and not tranquility. Contentment can help bring us some tranquility in our tumultuous world. Tranquility, itself, rarely brings contentment. Rather, it stills the ripples of existence in the pool of life and all we are left with is our own reflection staring back at us. Very few of us deal with that picture very well. When we reach for tranquility, we still the ripples our living leaves in the pond of life. We deprive ourselves, our loved ones and people we don't know those ripples we create just by being. Even a tear, a caress, a casual brush, or a slap of the water create ripples that touch so many more people than we will ever know. I dream of a time no one deprives themselves of those ripples, from themselves and others and, thus, deprives no one else of their own contribution to those ripples.

[@DanielWeekley-nf7bv]

You are awesome we out here are thankful for your honest reaction hun thank you !😊

[@elenaorujev3494]

Ren's vulnerability allows the rest of us to have a more open conversation!

[@stevenbligh9187]

This is a really difficult subject to talk about for me my brother suffers a lot from mental health it was quite hard to put this comment I'm usually a private person so again this was really difficult.

[@SlayWithBrandy]

❤️

[@jlock6901]

Amazing reaction. Really appreciate you putting yourself out there.

[@SlayWithBrandy]

you!

[@ErebosOnTwoWheels]

Sunscribed for the heartfelt and caring speech at the end. ❤

[@SlayWithBrandy]

thank you

[@seth1455]

If you have a heart, it's very difficult for one human being to watch another break down into tears. At some soulful level we feel each others pain.

[@janmikkelsen3745]

His music is so great i have been around for 57 years. Always loved music, mostly dark music, sisters of mercy, the cure, the mission.... i like to get hit with a heatfelt song ❤

[@jed9741]

You felt your reaction was a shambles but I felt it was so very honest and eloquently put and said from the heart. Very well done

[@SlayWithBrandy]

I appreciate that

[@LeeannG]

Respect to everyone that is helping to remove the stigma that surrounds suicide. I think the stigma around it prevents people from being as straightforward as they need to be, so that their loved ones recognize the warning signs before it’s too late.

[@mcflyjp]

This needs to be done. Suicide needs to be discussed and mental health in general. And to be honest, as a man going through depression and anxiety, the stigma around men, but everyone, being emotional or vulnerable definitely needs to stop. Thank you for saying this! And Hi Leeann!

[@alanchadwick7213]

I truly believe he’s the most talented artist I’ve ever heard . This song is beautiful

[@mattcavanagh5701]

Wow this is the most emotional reaction I’ve seen to this yet. I’ve seen people wipe tears from their eyes but never actually seen some fall. My favorite yet and such a tragic song. Great job and I’ll see you in the next vid. Everybody: somebody loves you. Reach out if you need help.

[@eturfrey]

Ren added the ending after his interview with Knox hill.

[@patrickquinlan3056]

Everyone has a unique gift and it is so tragic when it is thrown away. People take their lives because of the unendurable pain they feel but they leave everyone who loves them with that same unendurable pain. I hope this helps others who might want to end their lives to grasp this sad fact.

[@SlayWithBrandy]

❤️

[@majkimajk555]

A BIG hug to you from sweden

[@SlayWithBrandy]

Thank you so much!!

[@docdurdin]

The loss of one of us deminishes all of us. Ren has been to hell and back with his illness, yet he stays with us to make a difference.

[@Quizzy0000]

brandy your a amazing person wish i could give you a massive hug after you watched this video.

[@SlayWithBrandy]

[@WelbyIsYourGod]

First time on your channel and I subbed immediately. You are a beautiful person inside and out and I really wish all the best for you and yours. Keep being amazing and awesome!

[@SlayWithBrandy]

Thank you so much!!

[@saltydroog854]

This man is a genius. I'm not a religious man, but Ren's life reminds me of Jesus. It seems like he was sent here, and given a life of pain just so he can give us all what we need. He literally suffers for us. I know that comes across as blasphemous and disrespectful, but I don't mean it to be. I could never thank him enough

[@mcflyjp]

Droog!! For some reason the music in this hits different and everytime I hear it I want to just hear the music on repeat. It resonates musically idk if that makes sense e

[@CasperLD]

There's something in this. Ever since the first time I heard Ren Ive wanted other people to hear him. Not just because it's amazing music created by one guy....It's more than that. Im in a Ren fan group on facebook and Ive heard lots of stories now from people that his music and message has saved their lives and all they want to do is share it too.

[@chrisparti]

I have often said I believe Ren is the people's messiah...

[@saltydroog854]

@@mcflyjp i have to say this isn’t my favorite Ren song. I can’t connect with the first part of it. I appreciate the overall message and like it as being part of the zeitgeist, but i just don’t like it as a song. It’s more like listening to a sermon, and it’s therapeutic in it’s own way.

[@catsandcrafts171]

This is the strangest and yet most accurate way I feel about Ren and his music and messages. I am absolutely not religious, I don't believe in 'faith' or 'god', although clearly Jesus was a genuine historical figure who tried to spread a good message. I think Ren embodies all the flawed humanity of a man who's just trying to cope and spread great messages through his art, which is both music and visual storytelling. I'm just a daft old woman, but I love hanging out in the Ren Discord channel, surrounded by like-minded individuals. It's like a cult! But a cult based on hopeful messages and support for anyone struggling. Definitely like Christ but without the whole menacing undertone of religion.

[@kristinekarlson113]

Yours has been the most insightful and well-spoken breakdown of this song that I have watched so far - and I’ve lost count of how many I’ve seen. I can usually predict which side of the equation a reactor will fall within (one who has experienced a similar loss vs. one who has contemplated leaving this world) when they see this video, and I could see it with you as well. My outsider’s perspective on you is that you are a beautiful, sensitive, intelligent and caring person who has probably already impacted many people for the better. The world is bleak sometimes, and it can be painful to be here, but every person like you can be one little switch that eventually flips the momentum over to a positive trajectory. I’m sure many people are so glad you are here in this world.

[@SlayWithBrandy]

Thank you so much for this. I cant even begin to put into words how much this means to me that you said all of this. Thank you

[@PhoenixWoody]

I wish the whole would react like you did. Ren has a magical quality to connect to you. He makes you feel.

[@SlayWithBrandy]

This ❤️

[@Vmcf1968]

love your empathy

[@Ken-mn2nh]

I love you absurd. Maybe the saddest line ever. I cry every time.

[@rexrogers1859]

You have a good heart. Thank you so much. Ren is family as are we all. 💛

[@SlayWithBrandy]

You are so kind.

[@chrisinapplevalley6115]

I've seen this video at least 20 times in reactions.. and I still tear up at the end every damn time.

[@SlayWithBrandy]

its so hard not to

[@alanmai5656]

he has kinda like a part 2 its called For Joe by ren hugs all around

[@SlayWithBrandy]

reaction for that coming shortly too!

[@stevekeale4395]

Beautiful and honest reaction,.

[@SlayWithBrandy]

thank you

[@ohsouthlondon]

Watching the reactions to this song has really made me aware of how many fragile people are walking around out here. I don’t say that as an insult, but rather as a consideration that I otherwise wouldn’t have had. I never considered how many people are fighting battles every day; of course I’m fighting my own but I just thought that I was a rare case and that you were supposed to get your head down and bull through it. It will certainly change the way I interact with people from now on.

[@SlayWithBrandy]

People truly need to be more mindful of others. You never know what anyone is going through.

[@Ken-mn2nh]

Has any artist ever exposed their soul like Ren does regularly?

[@gavinferguson]

this level of torment is inside most men but we can;t show it. Because society men and women will use our obvious vunerability against us. so it gets bottled up and the strongest hold it for the longest and it corodes your inner self and theres no other option to make the pain go away.

[@GW-kf1be]

❤❤❤

[@ianhislop6782]

❤️

[@silentwhisp4r670]

Beautiful reaction. Ren is on another level

[@SlayWithBrandy]

thank you!

[@vinograd74]

I love Ren and his art. Meanwhile I have a lot of worries for him as an artist and a human. I lost my brother due to his suicide. I mean he was struggling with mental health issues for very long and decided to end his life. I couldn`t get over that and for many years I was slipping through a black depression. The feeling I had was kinda similar to what Ren is portraiting here in this vid. I felt like I didnt provide the help my brother needed. But it was about my whole life as his elder brother, not one tragic moment. True to say it was not the regret for that one particular moment I wasn`t there for him to stop him from doing what he wanted to do. I knew he would do it anyway. It was not the 1st time. It was his 2nd attempt. He asked me several times to take him to a country where euthunasia is legal. I couldnt do it (of course) but I knew he is serious and its not the matter of a one "single movement" or "one sudden step". It was his constant will to stop living, he didnt enjoy life and couldnt find will to carry on. So what I try to say is that the feeling Ren tries to show us is destroying himself. Ren is not responsible for that accident. But he cannot move away from the feeling of loss and guilt. Both of these things might break all his inner walls and self-defence system. If this song, this text, this video serve him psychotherapy effect to pull out this Needle of Guilt and Loss - then its ok. But as creative person, who writes texts, music and etc I know that such powerful expressions (like this vid) sometimes work as a Nail in his brain. I mean no matter how far Ren will move on with his own life - this work will stay here on KZbin. And everytime he hears his own material he might fall back into the state of mind and soul he presented us.

[@SlayWithBrandy]

so much love for you and your family ❤️

[@francesdoll4039]

My sympathies are with you all. Ren came on twitch next day to let us know he was fine and would never do this himself, even if his health crashed again. Would never put family and friends through what he wrnt through. Also chacjed up on us and made resources available to us.

[@KannaKamuiBestGirl]

NF & REN!!!

[@SlayWithBrandy]

SO GOOD

[@belindamelville2270]

❤😢😢😢❤

[@Chrisfragger1]

Honestly, how do you know the world wouldn't be a better place without me in it? This song makes me wish I could go through with it....

[@SlayWithBrandy]

everyone has a purpose on this earth

[@Chrisfragger1]

@@SlayWithBrandy I guess mine is to suffer.

[@andreasgrunenberg8010]

🖤

[@Quizzy0000]

i never turned to suicide but did self harm. thats the start of it i found that out 10 year ago. i think i was on the edge. gaming was my let go and it probly saved me.

[@DavidDArcy1975]

go n'éirí an t-ádh libh gach duine ☘ Respect & Peace

[@chucknorris5141]

Thank you

[@SlayWithBrandy]

❤️

[@Tearnofear]

[@goldblueranger]

[@mattayc266]

Have you done a reaction on Rens song called "For joe"

[@SlayWithBrandy]

I have not but it is on my list!

[@mattayc266]

There are loads that are brilliant, but the song" for joe " get your tissues ready thats all i will advise x

[@erickbmcwhorter4054]

Try uninvited by ren

[@boxicuk1620]

❤

[@elianorti3668]

❤

[@marknich1577]

❤

[@stevecody9878]

❤️