I Wasted My 20s 😔: Lessons So You Don't Do the Same 🌟

In this video, I'm getting real and raw about my journey through my 20s - the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. Join me as I reflect on the mistakes I made, the lessons I learned, and how you can avoid falling into the same traps.
Whether you're in your 20s yourself or just looking for some wisdom to carry into the future, this video is for you. Hit that play button and let's dive into the highs and lows of my journey, and how you can make the most of yours.
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[@OppasWithoutJams]

I love what you convey and the way you express yourself, continue like this girl !

[@JackOne-xq1uw]

France? I read Mexican or am I wrong lol 😆

[@Letsgoprincess538]

I wish I was more social in my early 20s

[@alasryh]

I wish I was more social in my mid 20s. I shut down a LOT dealing with my trauma and isolated. It was very lonely.

[@Eoots-zz9cz]

Women shouldn’t be social

[@souhailasmiles2978]

Same

[@fatimaali6845]

I am 22 years old and back when i see myself when I was a teenager ,I wish I had more confidence in taking decisions and connecting more with my inner self.

[@Vxruxxss]

I just turned 30 and I feel the same way. I feel like im just starting my life

[@lena12019]

perfect timing! as a 22yo in my last year of uni, i've been feeling lost, clueless, losing hope little by little. I feel like at my age i have nothing sorted out. no job, don't know what i'll do after graduation, wanting to get married but i dont have hopes that i will, while I also try to learn more about islam through an online school. I need to rewatch this video enough times for your words to sink in

[@alasryh]

My love, you’re so young and you don’t have to have everything figured out. Trust me, 22 year old me would be hella confused (and amazed) at 29 year old me. Good things take time! And why are you stealing hope from yourself and blocking God’s blessings with that mindset! If you’re hopeless about getting married either you won’t, or you’ll sabotage it when you do, think well of Allah ❤️

[@lena12019]

@@alasryh thank you dear Hana for taking the time to answer my comment. Actually I am someone who thinks well of Allah, but my comment sounded the opposite because I voiced some internal fears (I Know god is capable of literally anything and he can grant any wish), it's the feeling of inadequacy to certain blessings that feeds the monolgue inside my head. My frontal cortex isn't fully developed yet, so Im sure half of the worries I have they'll eventually go away. I'd love to thank you for setting a good example for other muslims girls and women by following Allah's words as they are

[@shaidasadiq959]

Don’t stress you are still young , everything will work out it always does, may Allah bless grant you with all goodnesses in the Dunya and Akirah ameen XXX

[@lena12019]

@@shaidasadiq959 inshallah

[@samiral-alami186]

I know this was intended for sisters, but I still took benefit from it as a 26M. I am trying to figure out how to not waste the next 4 years the way I felt I did the last 4.

[@alasryh]

You’ve got this isA 🙏🏽

[@ulama7828]

Muslims seriously need to socialize with other muslims around their age (Islamic events/volunterring etc)

[@user-zm3no5xb6t]

I wish I could be assertive and have boundaries and say no to my parents so I could have more freedom from them. Many things I did just to satisfy them & I got too dependent on them. Now I’m miserable

[@alasryh]

Boundary setting has to start somewhere 😊

[@BlacFireSan]

I regret how much time during Covid lock down I wasted. I was a bum. So much goals to achieve but yet no effort.

[@abeerkindred5038]

I lovee the last point, Hana. Our 20s shouldn't be "The Period that Decides whether or not I get Married", or the "Road to Marriage". Although I'm still in my 20s, I regret wasting one second worrying about taking on that kind of responsibility, or thinking of marriage as a prize. Please talk more about this in the future, so other young girls will not waste their time just sitting idle and desperate

[@umamah5296]

YES love this video Hana!! And another one that's perfect for me personally; turning 23 in a month so I'm still in my early twenties here, and I don't take it for granted that I have sisters / mentors like you who can advise us on how to enjoy our 20s < 3 A lot of what you talked about are things I currently struggle with here and there. Soo reassuring to know I wasn't alone and what you took from those years. P.S. A bit of general feedback: loved how you kept the video concise and sweet! P.P.S Any videos/sources on how to separate your emotions from actions please? xD Definitely one of things I currently struggle most with

[@samiyagani22]

Me too. I’ve struggled with a lot and hope god can help get through these challenges and moves forward and be the best I can be inshallah❤

[@naigashakirah6172]

Thanks for sharing

[@binttahmet]

As salamu alaikum sister, I am 17 years old, even though I’m still young I feel like I’ve already wasted a lot of my life. I know I have more potential especially in these years we’re meant to take advantage of. I really appreciate this advice and the advice of sisters in the comments. And I love your videos. JazakiAllahu khayr 🩷

[@alasryh]

Wa iyaki ❤️

[@biliqisishola3119]

I can really relate to this. Jazakhillahu khayran sis 🤗.

[@alasryh]

Wa iyakum!

[@user-nz8ub2mk2y]

The only waste is not connecting with the ONLY TRUE God. This is all I regret. As for people, not connecting with them, no regrets. 😁 Appreciate your talk. We need more such meaningful conversations. For a meaningful successful life. May Allah help us all. Ameen.

[@samia5369]

this was awesome mashallah

[@beingclaire_.]

Turned 20 in march and also a fellow revert. Very excited about this video ❤

[@alasryh]

🙏🏽

[@sanachan184]

Alhamdulillah As I am in my early twenties your video all of a sudden shows on my feed it was the topic about (what was I thinking) I was in a lot of pressure because everyone around me is getting married even those who are younger then me Masha'Allah nonetheless I was overwhelmed and anxious because people around me are urging me to get married they're saying that I am taking to much time choosing someone that I want I won't find and all anyways but Alhamdulillah found this beautiful channel hope to learn more from you sister jazakumullahu khair May Allah almighty reward you immensely.

[@alasryh]

❤️Alhamdulillah. Wa iyakum

[@JackOne-xq1uw]

I don't trust women personally. But there isn't a woman I want that exists. How many men can comment on a woman's stature instead of her appearance without giving superficial answers? And saying a person looks prettier is upon fetishizing their appearances. Which also means you don't view them as humans even. Her qualities are what makes the difference and her qualities can only be measured by herself or her sisters. Her sister's know her best. If he respects her he will form attraction towards her. But only if he is attracted towards her. "Also attraction to me is kindness, care, sincerity etc. not the body for certain.

[@JackOne-xq1uw]

Why? Because you are best judge of your body and after you the best judge are your Sister's (woman to woman relationship). The sisterhood is a beautiful thing. We do need more strength amoungst our sisters to support each other (when applicable for noble causes/justified causes). The most beautiful bond in our world is the bond between Sisters.

[@Ky-bt4ez]

I just turned 27 and i just wish i started my self development journey earlier ps i started last year. But Allah knows best

[@Ellsv11]

as salam alaykum Hana ! May Allah bless and reward you in abundance for this content and your efforts, your videos have been so so beneficial Al hamdoulillah and i've only watched a few of them

[@alasryh]

Wa alaikum asalam! Thank you so muchmuch!

[@falsesectslikeshiaarejudeo6543]

Wait thia video is only for sisters? I as a brother learned how you sisters think.

[@QissaTV1]

not only sisters , brothers also here 😊

[@alasryh]

Haha sorry!

[@luky2041]

Masha Allah sister thank you

[@Bu.T.F.I]

A lot more free time to build the kind of life that Allah is pleased with 👌👌

[@mariambatool2852]

I'm 22, and for my teenage years, years would say I wish I had not let school become bane of my life and put my trust in Allah subh regarding things that were not in my hand and read more books.

[@theBakinNoob]

1:38 that’s me right now 😅 Please make Dua for me, I’m truly struggling atm.

[@sadiaislam5068]

You haven’t wasted your 20s🫠❤️Indeed you needed those to be the person you are today.It was all a part of a big plan of Allah SWT for you❤Alh'amdulillaah

[@alasryh]

❤️

[@diamondprincess458]

How do we get back in touch with our feminine side? I've hardened and not as soft as i used to be but i want to go back to who i was 😢

[@sunairaahmed3720]

can you give advice about when you give effort and u dont see the results as much and now ur worried on what the future provides for you? i know sabr is key but sometimes i feel like im not being genuine in my sabr and trying to force myself but i am just scared you know what i mean?

[@alasryh]

1) duaa is action. Keep making it 2) modify your efforts. Sometimes we work hard but on the wrong things. Sometimes we have to step back and take a break and reevaluate/detach from the outcome. ❤️

[@00563535ra]

I have seen many great sisters I remember from high school, now in the mid 30s and early 40s, that are not married , trying to find a husband, but by then , all the good guys who would even consider her already married . If these girls agree to be a second wife, many great successful men will be readily available. For most of history, polygamy was the norm, and being single was awkward and a societal taboo.

[@alasryh]

And many women would rather remain single than enter into that kind of system. It’s not that simple. It’s a very complicated and difficult family structure.

[@00563535ra]

@@alasryh A woman’s first class ticket to Jenna is having a pleased husband. Today, these single ladies look down on a married woman with children, but they have no clue what the status and rewards of a mother and wife are. It’s half of the religion for a reason . They are drowned in this “ me me ,” mentality, trying to challenge how Allah meant to create everything in pairs and forget it’s not about me, it’s all about submitting to Allah and his commands . Jealousy is normal , but shouldn’t be the sole reason for refusing to be a second wife . Most prophets of Allah had multiple wives , and their kids became prophets. Yet a 2024 girl with an associate degree thinks she’s superior and more advanced and unfit for such structure . Salam

[@00563535ra]

@@alasryh 27 years since my mom died , everyday , everyday I make dua for her I’m sujood . Me and my brothers built Islamic schools for her and mosques in many Muslim countries. These single ladies will be so deprived of this after they die . Children can request from Allah that they want their parents pulled out of the hellfire . When viewed prospectively and at a macro level , a mother and wife is such a gift . And bc of worldly jealousy, they decide to opt out on big , amazing , beautiful rewards and be at a coffee shop at 11 pm with friends.

[@alasryh]

@@00563535ra allah yurhamha and may Allah bless your mom with jannatul firdous. It’s a lot more complicated than simply jealousy, though even that is a valid enough reason to refuse. It’s an overreach to assume that women who don’t want to be in plural marriages are doing it out of self-centeredness, it’s the red pill thinking at play and very emotionally unintelligent. Marriage is noble, but women still get to decide what kind of marriage they want. And if they don’t want to enter into those, given the complicated nature of the family dynamic, the fact that very few men can operate justly in it (it’s hard to be a just righteous husband to a single wife, let alone more) and a very poor track record of these marriages in many of our communities, women have and will continue to have an aversion to it. And that’s their right. Their decision if they decide to forgo it, there are many doors into Jannah. I myself would never want that for myself, my sisters or my daughters. To each their own, I don’t like this narrative of trying to push women to accept it and to treat women’s emotions towards it as if they’re doing something wrong for refusing.

[@00563535ra]

@@alasryh in sa Allah khair . May Allah protect all the sisters and brothers and grant us all jenna .

[@user-kl4up1qd7i]

💯💯

[@ChromeMan04]

I also wasted my 20s sister. I am 30 and I feel like a failure.

[@arditaemini6371]

How do you mean? What are your biggest regrets??

[@moonrocks929]

Asalamualaikum Hana! Thank you for this video. I wish to ask you a question if you feel qualified to answer. I (male in my early 20’s) often volunteer and work with Muslim youth in my community. I’ve had opportunities to talk to both boys and girls, ranging from ages 12-18, about mental health and similar topics. Something I noticed was this, every age range of girls was comfortable and okay with the idea of seeing a therapist and talking to a professional, while every age range of guys was completely against it saying it’s “not masculine” and saying they could deal with their problems themselves. I don’t agree with their thinking, and tried to explain to the boys why it’s not emasculating to see a therapist, as I want what’s best for the youth. But I felt like a hypocrite. I realized for reasons unknown, I wouldn’t really feel comfortable seeing a therapist either. Maybe it’s apprehension? Or maybe deep down I think similar to them as well? Why do you think this trend exists?

[@alasryh]

Wa alaikum asalam wrwb! We built out a narrative as a society that men don’t express emotions and Muslim men adopted this from kuffar despite our prophet crying publicly, expressing his hurt, etc. We failed men’s mental health in every way. I also think modern day therapy tends to appeal. More to women in its methods and hasn’t asked the question of how we can adapt the methods to more masculine friendly ways. And it probably isn’t because it’s informed by liberalism which seeks to equalize gender differences, not distinguish more. I feel many men would be more comfortable with the coaching model (and many Muslim male therapists have taken to that model).

[@moonrocks929]

@@alasryh First of all, thank you for the response. Second, wow. Changing the term therapist to coach is such a different perspective on this. And one that boys or even men might feel comfortable approaching. Thanks for that distinction!

[@JackOne-xq1uw]

Expressing emotions has been shared aspect of Xeno bases (male and female). The affirmation of 'masculine' is towards mens portrayal hence the meaning of the word. And does one portrayal fit all? Do you not have free will? If the answer is yes then it does not fit all. The question that should be asked is the issues of mental health. What does it entail that is the paramount not the thought of men thinking it is not like of men to do so. Like is a probability (or) chance measurement; can also mean ratio. My mental health issues are my functional skills I am also diagnosed with autism/Asperger's I can talk regarding this topic in great depth if you wish?

[@JackOne-xq1uw]

​@@alasryhthe mental health that many men see is someone who is capable and holds relative ideas and is robust hence the following of some men. But majority of these men follow foolish men. And Andrew Tate is not correct in any sense.

[@ibnfulan5716]

👍

[@krit9125]

Assalamualaikum Hana! A brother here, I am always watching your videos, they are excellent. I had a question, why were you so anxious about who you were going to marry and why did it consume you to the extent that it did?

[@alasryh]

Wa alaikum asalam! Dope question. I ALWAYS wanted a family, always wanted to be a wife and mom, it was probably the biggest dream of mine. If my husband wasn’t in school, I would want children right now but we’re trying to be pragmatic. I can work hard to get into a school for a career or a job I love or build a thriving business with the right help from the right people. But a righteous God fearing husband is a gift from God and you may never get it if He doesn’t write it for you. That made me anxious. Plus I felt so stuck in life. I felt like I achieved what I “could”, people knew me, I had a prestigious degree and career, I had a big friend group, salary was amazing aH. But I was in a very toxic situation and I needed connection and safety that I couldn’t achieve without Allah opening that door. Lastly, I was surrounded by TOXIC marriages and I saw the way a bad marriage drained and destroyed the people in it and didn’t want that. It terrified me because I knew I couldn’t reach new heights being held down by arguably the most influential human relationship in your life outside of your parents (based on research). For many women too, there’s pressure to marry that gives us external anxiety. I didn’t have that pressure as much, but I hear people bagging on women in their late 20s and 30s (I married when I was 28) and I can’t imagine how horrible I would’ve felt if I heard this stuff when I wasn’t married. So all of that combined is why so many women find themselves so anxious around this. There’s also a lot of anti-women rhetoric in the Muslim marriage sphere, normalizing speaking of women as if they’re brainless humans who don’t have a right to share their thoughts, communicate their feelings, who are a burden, that what is fulfilling to a woman in a marriage is actually just meaningless and men should keep her on a leash so she needs you but never too much that she leaves you. It’s a very dog eat dog mentality that red pill has bled into men and there’s a reason why these men are finding it hard to marry unless it’s some innocent clueless (about their true selves) woman from back home or their cousin. No woman in their right mind would want an emotionless, compassionless, and belittling man. I mean unless they’re traumatized or like fighting and haven’t healed yet. Truly righteous Women want loving compassionate relationships like that reflected in the marriage of the prophet SAW and these women will uphold the deen in their marriage easily when that’s present. These are all my personal takes, you just asked so I’m sharing.

[@shamsullahansari4200]

Wow. Mashallah very well written👏

[@thississmeee1463]

​@@alasryhWhat kind of school does your husband go to? Is it a med school? Please reply 🙏 because In our country, school means a place where education is imparted only up to class 10th.😅😅😊

[@krit9125]

Ok! MashAllah I have the same criticism for a lot of the men I see around me. I.e. not emotional/ compassionate. So I see where you are coming from. I always say alhumdulillah that I’m not like them😮‍💨. Thank you for such an extensive reply, it means a lot! May Allah bless your marriage and your future family.

[@alasryh]

@@krit9125 Ameen ya rab!

[@Eoots-zz9cz]

When you say you wasted your 20s , what do you mean exactly

[@alasryh]

I allowed myself to worry too much about things that Allah was going to work out beautiful. I withheld some great opportunities because I was too afraid, sad or anxious.

[@Eoots-zz9cz]

@@alasryh life is determined , whatever you do , was determined for you to do Being prone to anxiety , hesitation , fear is either genetic or shaped by life events

[@alasryh]

@@Eoots-zz9cz perhaps we see things differently here. 😊 I believe in human autonomy, some things are determined, others Allah left to our free will to make the most off. I’d like to focus on what I can do than what I can’t. And I can reflect and grow from my mistakes

[@Eoots-zz9cz]

@@alasryh free will does not exist, if you were born in Mexico your name would be Maria and you would be Christian, you would follow the religion of your parents and you will likely won’t be doubting the values and beliefs you grow up with. In my knowledge I don’t know any scholar or passage of Quran that believes in free will No disaster strikes upon the earth or among yourselves except that it is in a register before We bring it into being, indeed that, for Allah, is easy. - Surah Al-Hadid (57:22) 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), the truthful and the receiver of the truth informed us, saying, "The creation of you (humans) is gathered in the form of semen in the womb of your mother for forty days, then it becomes a clinging thing in similar (period), then it becomes a lump of flesh like that, then Allah sends an angel who breathes the life into it; and (the angel) is commanded to record four things about it: Its provision, its term of life (in this world), its conduct; and whether it will be happy or miserable. By the One besides Whom there is no true god! Verily, one of you would perform the actions of the dwellers of Jannah until there is only one cubit between him and it (Jannah), when what is foreordained would come to pass and he would perform the actions of the inmates of Hell until he enter it. And one of you would perform the actions of the inmates of Hell, until there is only one cubit between him and Hell. Then he would perform the acts of the dwellers of Jannah until he would enter it." [Al- Bukhari and Muslim]. In this and other books of the Revival al-Ghazâlî teaches a strictly determinist position with regard to events in the universe. God creates and determines everything, including the actions of humans. God is the only “agent” or the only “efficient cause” (fâ’il, the Arabic term means both) in the world. Every event in creation follows a pre-determined plan that is eternally present in God’s knowledge.

[@mirabed1507]

Hey ,im new to your channel Ive watched some of your videos and i honestly loved them🫶 Id love if you take early marriage as a topic of one of your next videos. Appreciate you helping us muslim girls 🤍