I Watched Every Disney Channel Original Movie

[@Christofly]

Sorry mom, can’t make it to Christmas this year. Big Joel just dropped a six hour video about Disney channel original movies.

[@CPD03]

She’ll understand… if she’s watched My Sister from Planet Weird she’ll understand

[@RaineyPeng]

ITS SIX HOURS OMG

[@ActuallyAnanya]

Do better Teddy!

[@baburnit]

D-COM pacolypse

[@Alex-cw3rz]

Big Joel really living up to his name I bet Little Joel is jealous, he'll need to release a 6 second video now. Maybe just of a Henry giggle

[@simonlegosson7082]

Henry giggles scare and comfort me at the same time

[@gnocchidokey]

extra large joel

[@Joe90h]

@@gnocchidokey With a six hour video, I think it's safe to call him the largest Joel.

[@kingcalamity6276]

Who the hell is henry

[@Groovetwig]

@@kingcalamity6276I’m pretty sure big Joel’s name is actually Henry.

[@carbonsiren]

Big audacious energy to have no chapters, like you will NOT just skip to High School Musical and Camp Rock

[@yungoldman2823]

literally the description is filled with timestamps youtube just didnt make them into sections like it should

[@carbonsiren]

​@@yungoldman2823 I'm embarrassed

[@wermluvr]

@@carbonsiren hang in there brother

[@livstylerewind]

Those are your heavy hitters?! 😅🤭

[@mothboy420]

LOL ​@@livstylerewind

[@noneofyourbusiness4616]

Disappointed every film wasn't compared to "White Chicks."

[@Oceanatornowk]

I appreciate how so far there’s essentially no pattern to the order of the DCOMs. Very exciting

[@supershinigami1]

Yeah I was asking myself which order he was going with but I think it's just vibes.

[@laurenguttie]

he does that for every movie review compilation, it's the best

[@Joe90h]

It was actually jarring to me that he reviewed the Zombies movies one after the other.

[@benjisaac]

2:53 ok it’s been like 10 years for me but… I don’t think to kill a mockingbird is about a young girl who thinks she has the whole world figured out. She’s like 6 years old. She knows she doesn’t have it figured out and is super malleable to new information and ideas like 6 year olds should be

[@tonoornottono]

you say that but then she dresses up as a ham for halloween and you think okay she Does have it figured out

[@blipboigilgamesh7865]

Always thought it was about killing mockingbirds

[@debrachambers1304]

"Good Luck Charlie, It's Christmas is nothing LIKE White Chicks, sadly" -Big Joel

[@fergarzaaa3076]

The most baffling part of the Zack and Cody movie is that the series doesn’t have any sort of science fiction elements to it, it’s just like normal real world plots.

[@garuspiks]

last night I dreamt that you posted a 100-hour video on some white guy you were beefing with who got into a car crash because he was recording a diss track about you while driving, then I wake up and see a 6 hour big joel video on my feed? literally a dream come true

[@ThatOneGuyRAR]

LMAO

[@tonoornottono]

holy shit this is six hours long

[@drago3036]

I mean, the real vídeo is better, i think XD

[@qsmith2514]

“Oh my god hope he loves The Cheetah Girls” **Big Joel loves the Cheetah Girls and calls it closest thing to cinema out of this project** OH MY GOD Also the first 2 Cheetah Girls were executive produced by Whitney Houston

[@SolarManOmega]

“Nothing explains why Max acts like this” cue shot at @47:48 of the Desi woman and the British man facing opposite each other with a Union Jack splitting the frame down the middle 🤔

[@tuffemily1431]

"Tom and brink should have ended best friends, or at the very least lovers" still my favourite line on a rewatch

[@themaskedpicori6085]

on a rewatch?? how fast are you watching this???

[@tuffemily1431]

@themaskedpicori6085 early for patrons

[@themaskedpicori6085]

@@tuffemily1431 ahhh that makes sense lmao, apologies

[@grizzlyclaire6918]

​@@themaskedpicori6085 doesn't everyone watch 6 hour big joel videos on 2x speed and then rewatch them directly after?

[@elizabethsaltmarsh8306]

@@tuffemily1431 mine was the one about lusting after human flesh.

[@jubies6286]

It's been a tough year, but last new year my one resolution was to hear Big Joel discuss Lemonade Mouth, and now my wish has come true. My medium was right.

[@hilaofek4426]

I hope he likes it!!!

[@chloenoelle7251]

your… Medium Joel?

[@raej2353]

I will always remember cheetah girls 2 came out the same week they declared Pluto not a real planet

[@AlatarielSunrise]

I get where you are coming from with Good Luck Charlie, but the whole show is basically about how this eldest daughter who is always supposed to be responsible for everyone else. Her acting out? Definitely normal and to be expected

[@Unhappytimeaper]

hmmm I think if you don't see the show doesn't make sense because Amy is undeniable selfish and often puts her own self before Teddy/her kids. Teddy is often defacto-handling the major problems in the show-- and beyond that what teenage girl wouldn't want to be away from their loud, chaotic, huge family for a holiday to go do something they actually wanted. Amy rarely comes off as a sympathetic character to me and if you don't have the added character traits from the show then you'll see it in a very different way.

[@Gamechamp3000]

You have no idea how long I've waited for a big, Joel kind of person to talk about 30 movies engrained deep in my brain, and then another 90 movies I've never heard of to wash them down

[@TheArcv2]

Also me

[@drago3036]

Gamechamp going into the same rabbit holes as me??? Damn, that's... A vibe

[@Karolina-qr5pz]

obsessed with how wildly big joel misinterpreted the heckle at 40:00. like his interpretation required several more mental steps when in reality it just meant "yall are ugly". this is art

[@RotisserieElephant]

I think the point of the guy saying nice costumes to the band in lemonade mouth is that he’s making fun of the way they look. He’s suggesting that they are so hideous that it looks like they’re already wearing costumes.

[@RotisserieElephant]

I do like the idea that they’re just really into the spirit of Halloween though

[@sprobertson]

40:25 this is a hilarious interpretation but pretty sure his point was "jklol you're not in costumes you just dress weird every day"

[@Oceanrex]

About Miracle in Lane 2, I knew the real Justin Yoder. He sadly died in November in a car accident. We went to church together. He was an great man who despite his situation was always cheerful and kind.

[@mothboy420]

MY HEART OWIE

[@quesopicante5743]

I'm sorry for you and the family's loss. God bless

[@little_box3s41]

omg you weren't trolling. "In 1996, he challenged the regulations to allow children with disabilities to use a hand brake instead of the required foot brake. Thanks to him, regulations were changed. The hand brake is now called the Justin Brake in his honor.[1]"

[@maillardsbearcat]

Big Joel: Watches 117 Disney Channel movies Me: Watched Luck of the Irish 117 times

[@heyimexhausted]

and now theres 117 likes on this comment!

[@mippa5830]

2:03:00 you're welcome.

[@kaleyplaisted3662]

@@mippa5830omg thank you

[@hildavgoneril]

this is PERFECT timing, I'm about to go on a 7 hour train ride!

[@OsirisThaMystikal]

the only context where this length is acceptable

[@RaptieFeathers]

Oh my god train rides are the absolute best I was on one the other day from Portland up to Bellingham and like just best way to travel

[@ajlorentz]

@@OsirisThaMystikalto be fair. There’s roughly 120 movies. That’s an average of 3 minutes each

[@mo0man]

What are you going to do with the extra hour?

[@hildavgoneril]

@@mo0man I'll use the extra hour to reflect upon the knowledge I have gained 🙏

[@HenryThomas-vc2wy]

your commentary at 23:40 is so real because I think that toy story scene legitematley might be the reason I have a hard time letting go of physical objects.

[@TheArcv2]

Did not expect to confront my own attachment to objects, thanks

[@rosebyanyname]

3:06:08 - best fun fact about any DCOM: The actors playing Marnie and Kal (son of Kalabar) reconnected about a decade ago, struck up a romance and got married this year!!

[@theformation3781]

4:23:37 the disney movie trope of having your fun yanked away as soon as you start indulging in it is quite evocative of the christian-centric cultural fabric from which disney is derived, or maybe I've gone insane from 4 whole hours of (very good) content about movies i could not give a single shit about. Also take a drink each time joel rates a movie 7/10

[@Nataniahuahu]

woah you watch fast O.o

[@tedhill2092]

Did you start the video part way through?

[@idkhowbutimgay]

​@@tedhill2092 2x speed?

[@merlinsynthsulphur]

I've never seen a timestamp this high out in the wild, ever

[@weekendreligion5753]

1:15:30 They ran promos for weeks leading up to the release of Zenon, with the actors explaining the slang definitions. As a kid it felt like you were getting the real inside info. Watched it last week with my kid, an realized it'll never hit the same for future generations without the deathgrip late 90s Disney Channel had on millennials' minds

[@ogto]

i'd just like to point out that Smart House was direct by LeVar Burton, if the film wasn't already trippy enough.

[@Nikkibuh]

katey sagal does some stellar voice work in it

[@CJ-qg7de]

I CANNOT wait to hear this man talk about Luck of the Irish

[@mippa5830]

2:03:00 you're welcome.

[@sophcw]

This is honestly delightful and I am being brought back to my youth but also holy shit I'm only 45 minutes in and it feels like it's been going on forever

[@thenoose9800]

Oh cool! A nice short little video I can watch on my lunch break!

[@yungoldman2823]

perfect for my hard day of unemployment

[@tehawsumninja]

I really loved Don't Look Under the Bed on concept - the premise of a kid growing up TOO fast due to a traumatic incident and, because of that, something pure like an imaginary friend turning into a boogieman. After I grew up, I realized how stupid a lot of it was but I did enjoy the concept. Anyway Smart House is a 10/10 movie, even outside of the DCom scope. It, Stuck in the Suburbs, Get a Clue and Halloween Town were true staples of my childhood

[@LimeyLassen]

I can't say much about the story, but I think the aesthetic of that movie is really creative. Great practical effects.

[@camilleons]

at no point in this video could i predict what movie was coming next i love you big joel

[@Mr_Mimestamp]

“This movie is borderline racist, its message fails in every way, 8/10.” “I was bored at this part of the movie, 3/10.” perfect video

[@JamesRindall]

Zapped wasnt really misandric, it was mostly misogynistic, you can tell it was written by 40 year old guys who dont realize girls do the same things, but (as the White Chicks clips you showed show) comedies used to be even more misogynistic back then

[@Mr_Mimestamp]

I’d argue it’s both.

[@LimeyLassen]

@@Mr_Mimestamp It's usually both.

[@Joe90h]

I think he was being a goofy little guy there. Just a real stinker.

[@droidigan]

I really like at 50:55 when you put selfies in to show you like having a good time. it also made me feel like i was having a good time

[@MosesSuppose]

Jfc this is a bigger Joel than I could have ever possibly imagined. Thank you

[@lucash5728]

“Haloweentown High is a sort of proto-Zombies” Big Joel I am in love with you

[@tonoornottono]

the way that joel COMPLETELY misinterprets the “oh, you aren’t wearing any costumes” roast at 40:00 because he’s taking it too literally, is my oxygen. this is food and water to me.

[@HistoricalVisionism]

I didn't have cable growing up, just the internet and broadcast TV. It's nice to have a six hour video hallucination to experience all my friends childhoods.

[@QuinnsIdeas]

*Sighs, watches whole video.

[@TommyLikeTom]

About the DJ film... I personally have experienced this with multiple people in the music industry. It's very common for low-skill high-ego artists to turn on each other like that, it's bizarre but it's true to life.

[@marrychrismas5993]

1:56:11 (Haven't watched the movie) Race is a social construct because main-girl was considered White even though she is an Alien.

[@absinthe8354]

big joel i needed this

[@Barklord]

@absinthe8354 was it like the big reveal in YA novel?

[@drongobrat6471]

Oh. Idk if I'll watch all of this it's so long lmao

[@Bryandan1elson]

good thing my ability to imbibe exactly 6:04:23 of content in seconds is still working! wow!

[@Herzfeld10]

no u didn't

[@Redheart709]

he didn't

[@Redheart709]

IT'S 6 HOURS?

[@Barklord]

His brain damage isn't bad enough.

[@wrathisme4693]

I uhh I think he did actually

[@Astrosk1er]

Peak comment

[@RatboyGaming]

Oh my god. The list is so long. This was an insane decision.

[@clarkharrell2227]

Smart House always reminded me of the Ray Bradbury short story that takes place after a nuclear holocaust, where a "smart" house operates in its normal routine after all of its inhabitants were long ago evaporated. Also damn I didn't realize how many of these I watched as a kiddo.

[@alxndria1]

I love that one, There Will Come Soft Rains

[@thelegalsystem]

Didn't have cable as a child, so I never experienced these. Thanks for catching me up, Joey!

[@faikoellipses]

See I do actually remember Can of Worms, but only as that kind of memory you get when you catch like 60% of a movie on TV and then never see it again and grow up wondering if it was real.

[@mordagok]

i have genuinely been trying to find Can of Worms my entire life. i thought it was a fever dream eventually. thank you for letting me know it was real, and saying nothing else about that awful movie

[@MilkmanOfTheApocalypse]

Big Joel on his Quinton Reviews arc? I don't know that I have the forbearance to sit through this amount of multi-hour kids media video discussions.

[@zenleeparadise]

Like Quinton Reviews if Quinton Reviews ever had a single insightful or interesting thing to say about anything he prattles on about.

[@mjoflaherty126]

​@zenleeparadise these two grown men are both in the genre of "hours long treatises on decades-old children's entertainment" and it's kind of funny you're so passionate about their difference in quality

[@melonmage14]

🤷‍♀️id far rather someone take 6 hours to say a couple interesting things each about a hundred different movies than 17 to say not a single original thing about exactly 1 tv show

[@ducciwucci]

@@zenleeparadise that part

[@Paul-ip1jh]

​@@melonmage14 I just checked his channel, the Sam and Cat recap is just over 21 hours long and the Victorious one is just under 18 hours long for anyone who thought this was an exaggeration.

[@maragazh9993]

1:17 A HUNDRED SEVEN-TEEN DISNEY CHANNEL ORIGINAL MOVIES?! I don't think I have watched that many movies, period. Also, matching timestamp

[@code_Bread]

Watch more movie right now. I recommend John Carpenter's "The Thing" or Cronenberg's "The Fly"

[@Repteed]

@@code_Bread Will do. I can't wait to watch "The Thing (2011)" I bet it's a blast

[@hannahbrown5465]

6 hour videos make me get up and start shaking it

[@idontwantahandlethough]

-Personally I get up and do the helicopter- I misunderstood what we were shaking, my bad

[@tessapalmer4880]

didn’t know i needed joel tearing apart my favorite childhood films this christmas eve eve

[@Novelette22]

Thanks for this Henry. I now have a new video that's several hours long that I can rewatch a disturbing number of times over the course of the next six weeks

[@MyDancingShoes]

I feel called out

[@WhatAMagician]

I’ve never been more excited.

[@summerchild_]

Princess Protection Program is a Manic Pickie Dream Girl movie but about friendship instead of love.

[@thelegendarybeng5329]

I'm so excited to go through this. There are few times I get to utilize my gained knowledge of personally watching every DCOM, outside of the podcast I'm doing about my second time through. Gah I love these bad movies so much

[@carolinawolf7708]

I can’t wait to rewatch this 6 hours long video about movies I don’t care about every four to six months

[@cerumen]

This should be screened in full at some sort of Breadtube convention, like a Lord of the Rings Extended Marathon

[@Shalalacls]

I don't know why, but I would have never guessed Joel would like the HSMs. I am pleasantly surprised Also Stick to the Status Quo is everyone's favorite song and if they say it's not they're lying

[@ynnej42]

What beautiful monstrosity has been dropped into our existence? Is this what they call a Christmas miracle? This'll last me an entire workday as auditive (and sometimes visual) distraction! And I'm grateful for every second of it. Thank you, Big Joel 🙏❤

[@ktraff1180]

This feels like a 6 hour Little Joel video instead of a Big Joel video. I love it

[@cartilagehead]

Genius is bonkers, even as an eight year old I was rly confused by the idea of undergrads disrupting and taking over a course that they were paying for and presumably at least taking for credit, if not degree status

[@notyournormalg1]

This pairs SO PERFECTLY with Jenny’s Land Before Time reviews. Yum. *chef’s kiss*

[@HorseEmoji]

Thank you for keeping the backseat-bully's laugh in the clip at 4:15. Thank you.

[@alexandelsosa7718]

40:59 It's crunch I think it's big crunch. Holy shit why did I laugh so much at this!

[@asajordan6195]

I watched the intro to this video before checking the runtime and as soon as I heard Big Joel say "117 movies" I felt a piece of my soul die. I guess I better get comfortable

[@asajordan6195]

big daddy baby????

[@asajordan6195]

marbie!!!!!

[@asajordan6195]

How is it possible I am only an hour and a half into this masterpiece of youtube content

[@elizabethsaltmarsh8306]

Your Let It Shine analysis is S tier commentary. I have always thought everything you said about Cyrano (which Let It Shine is a retelling of). It's a garbage story and it's time someone called it out for being garbage.

[@christopherward9048]

The wild thing (to me) about the Descendants series is how popular their songs are on Disney’s music video channel. The top videos on that channel are either from classics like Frozen, Moana, and the Lion King or they are from the Descendants. How could I have never heard about such an apparent cultural phenomenon before?

[@Problematist]

Thanks for the Balatro seed in the description. Finally won green stake.

[@JMBAD_art]

A six hour Joel video is something I never dared dream of even in my wildest fantasies

[@ragnarbremer5335]

A 6 hour video?! You know just what to get me, and I am glad we have this parasocial relationship!

[@monthlaterreplyguy9001]

23:23 "sure, it's upsetting hearing what this woman has to say" big joel joins the manosphere

[@butchmikey]

cannot explain how hard i laughed at you thinking the lemonade mouth girl’s name was crunch??? 😭 top tier video

[@surferosaM1]

The tribulations faced by the mom in Good Luck Charlie, It's Christmas are justified by her being a horrible narcissistic freak. Every member of the Duncan family is entirely self-serving throughout the film, except for perhaps Bob Duncan, but the movie feels justified in torturing him along with the rest of the cast because he's fat.

[@parkerstancato2411]

It took me 2 hours and 40 minutes to realize that DCOM Stood for Disney Channel original movie

[@cringusmoss9937]

2:34:00 Cadet Kelly 3:04:54 Halloween town 2 3:19:50 Halloween town high 3:31:47 return to halloween town

[@yugimuto264]

Going from Color of Friendship to Descendants 3 made me laugh out loud, and it's a good parallel considering that's the one where known class traitor Mal says "build the wall".

[@LimeyLassen]

I love the implication that she was actually evil all along and better at it than Maleficent

[@CanIswearinmyhandle]

For a sec when the cop went "dog in a hole?" I thought he was gonna go and fire an entire round into the hole

[@gaijinwilly]

0:00 Seeing 6 hours of Joel actually made me gasp. Our Joel gets bigger every year!

[@dinoboy83]

Fun fact; My husband is one of the actors from Some Like It Hots’ great grandnephew. Hey uncle Jack Lemmon!

[@AshiwiZuni]

What a treat, what a big, stinking treat.

[@arthurso333]

yesterday i rewatched your video on the film theory channel and thought wow i miss big joel videos, and then u drop this as a christimas gift thanks!

[@SHRUGGiExyz]

2:58:28 Hello I'm here to request that Large Joel be cast as the the voice of the Phantom of The Megaplex in the 2031 live action remake of this classic Disney Channel Original film. I will accept the Phantom being played by a significantly larger Joel or equivalent, as long as Joel gets to be the singing voice. Thank you.

[@sylphin6857]

You have no clue how comforting it is to have 6 hours of this right now

[@neilhannan7525]

Thank You for your service Merry Christmas Big Joel and a Happy New Year 🎉❤

[@christinar.7955]

I think you need to go back and watch the first 2 seasons of Wizards of Waverly Place, then try the movie again. Maybe it's the nostalgia glasses for me, but it's one of my favorite DCOMs, and Wizards was my favorite Disney Channel sitcom as a kid. I got a little wine drunk in college one time, watched the movie, and cried about it. I really think there's something special about it lol 😂

[@Kat-qe1vk]

Not even an hour in & already Big Joel has the vision to realize Brink should've been a queer romcom, the sweater man's done it again, 10/10

[@LimeyLassen]

There's so much gaydar in this video and I love it every time

[@just-mees]

The bad trailer voice bit killed me. I cackled and I dont understand why. This mania can only be induced after being introduced to all of the dcom films plot summaries. 10/10 would recommend

[@LlartyVoz]

Big Joel doesn't like Good Luck, Charlie. My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined. It's time to switch to Little Joel.

[@arachnidsLor]

big joel, i thank you. i have to work so hard to finish making a bunch of christmas presents. a 6 hour big joel videos about dcoms is literally the power fuel i needed right now. thank you boss

[@thedcomduo788]

ONE OF US! ONE OF US! Welcome to the club of watching every DCOM, it truly is a blessing and a curse

[@tundra4331]

the amount of genuine-ness you bring to every movie and its contents is so refreshing.

[@flexibleskedule]

I love you BJ, merry christmas

[@contextsensitive8484]

i've only ever seen the last ~20 minutes of avalon high. mesmerizing experience. picks up right when the main girl gets told she's really king arthur and then they have a big battle scene on horseback on the side of like a lake? I remember the villains being extremely camp about the whole thing. Like anime-tier "you will never defeat me" and "heh" type shit. Then all the teen romance drama gets resolved. Would recommend

[@user-ww4wt5hm3l]

Yo saw this after seven seconds!!! Been craving a new Big Joel and now we get a 6 hour BOMB for Christmas. Bravo, dude

[@bencormier6594]

6 hour big Joel video? Little Joel could never

[@rubyredlotus]

I think Wendy Wu and Halloween Town are secretly the same plot, Halloween Town just abstracts the issue.

[@CinnamonGrrlErin1]

I'm so old, I remember when Disney original movies aired on Sunday nights on ABC (looking at you, Mr Boogedy)

[@JamesRindall]

damn thats really old

[@CinnamonGrrlErin1]

​@JamesRindall yeah, but it was always felt special to see Michael Eisner come out and introduce them. It was one of the few times my family actually watched something together too, usually we went our own ways.