I Worked Hard to Support My Man's Dream With My Inheritance Money but MIL Host a Party & Blamed Me..

I Worked Hard to Support My Man's Dream With My Inheritance Money but MIL Host a Party & Blamed Me, I Corrected Her in Front of Everyone.
#redditrelationship #redditupdate

[@shehzaadkhan5531]

First, Pin Comment

[@admonius9668]

Stop enabling this childish activity

[@ryueditx]

Prevent kids from saying first

[@ColeCassidyishot]

why are people trashing over this *harmless* comment lol?

[@holyroman6541]

@@ColeCassidyishot Because there's never a good reason to enable the stupidity attention seekers get up to haha Either that, or they're just bored, but at that point they could damn well do more productive things with that.

[@Zellonous]

​@@holyroman6541yet everyone allows the most degenerate posts. Saying "first" is a breathe of fresh air to me.

[@mariaj6551]

The red flags were there while you were dating. I would've divorced him the moment I noticed he wouldn't defend me from his mother. The fact he didnt give a shit about your uncle's death...smh. Why did you marry him??

[@mannydcbianco]

Yup, she was absurdly naive, or blind. But I guess that's why there's an idiom that goes "Blinded by love". The rational part of the brain just disconnects for some people, when they are in love.

[@l-l-l-l-l-l-l]

Logic finally catch up to her now that she is in her thirties.

[@athrunmoza8996]

Answer is always "love" If you dont experience first hand of "blindlove" you wouldnt understand. OP is an amazing woman

[@mariaj6551]

@@athrunmoza8996 no doubt OP I sure is amazing but it's unfortunate she was 'blinded by love' for 5 years. While I have experienced it myself, I was not married nor was in the toxic relationship long. At the end of the day, I'm glad things worked out for her.

[@asw654]

Maybe he was very attractive.

[@Amenimun]

Lucky for her that she didn't have a baby with that fool.

[@gwenrichard7507]

The fact that he took his mom to talk with her is so gross. If he was smart, he would have gone alone with an appointment for a marriage counselor. Even then, I'd bring an offer for a separation.

[@mannydcbianco]

Yup. He's a complete manchild and his mother will always be the most important woman in his life. OP, his wife, was always going be be a distant second at best.

[@reillycurran8508]

Pretty sure inheritance is untouchable for the most part in a divorce proceeding

[@AlE-kc7yw]

Inheritances are untouchable unless you are making money from it. If you inherit two houses and rent them out, the houses remain yours, but the judge CAN include the rent you receive from the tenants as income, unless it goes straight to the mortgage, but once again, up to the judge if the income can be included as income even if you use it to pay the mortgage

[@CC-gv2ee]

Musicians living off of women with money. Unfortunately not uncommon

[@juliearmfield2634]

These guys must have some kind of magic wand in their pants to keep these women on the hook like this

[@mr.knight2026]

With a mother like that he'll be homeless in no time.

[@morganablackwater2017]

I wouldn't babysit this manchild even for a day not mention years... And the audacity to plan what you do with your money before you even manage to deal with losing your uncle... Gross...

[@ZenoDovahkiin]

Basically, he acts like the woman of the relationship, and this is why you're disgusted.

[@blessedcutie8983]

Imagine being angry with your spouse for helping you level up. 😅 I love how OP reviewed the facts, talked to her partner, and made a decision. She did not waver nor stutter. She simply chose peace and dipped out.

[@DaemonForce]

27 seconds in...Nope. That kind of dynamic doesn't work. Ever. Not even between foreigners. NEXT!

[@pastelbee8125]

It’s only a MINUTE and I’m flabbergasted she stayed 😭

[@lovethechop]

Man, I love the pleading of the mother and son. Amazing.

[@viciousrape]

never tie yourself in any way, whether as a lover, a friend, or even a co-worker, to anyone who doesn't know how to even pretend to show respect for the dead

[@vlad-igor]

When u said he was lazy at work, that was 100% a RED FLAG anyone who doesn't want to work to live & survive in this world, really has something mental. I've met all the boys & gals that do that, they could have onset mental illness that's unchecked, I changed passion, was a science student, then now doing business, do IT stuff currently, I'm a website backend editor, social media marketer, from there I became a trainer understanding machines teaching other employees, also showing up at events none of this was what I started at, now I'm doing something else taking company profile and information and putting into systems as a freelancer, etc people please believe me, people would change themselves and adapt to new situations if they failed, if they don't they're going through something, maybe depression or anxiety etc take a psychiatric evaluation, my friend was diagnosed with delusional persecutory, he was stagnant at this age when we're supposed to change throughout our life's as we live, that is a constant thing, and it's a positive thing.

[@rexoes686]

That's always a red flag to look out for since its a lot more common than you'd think and gets looked past a lot. You shouldn't have to force your adult partner to clean up for themself or understand that hobbies and bills have different importance. If you have to parent your partner, thats not your partner, thats a kid who never grew up.

[@jeanetteporter8114]

Op you did this to yourself, you saw the signs you ignored them, learn next time, take your time with a partner dont look for faults or red flags but sont ignore them either, talk about the negative and postive if you two cant and it is always swept under the rug, then it is time to cut off the relationship

[@Baronstone]

Never date a man who puts a dream that he is unwilling to work towards before everything else in his life. Seriously, the dude wants to be a pro drummer, but tells the pros that they don't know how to play the drums when you paid for lessons for him?? What a damned joke!

[@roxanaflores3669]

I would of divorced his a** real quick. Hell no her husband was extremely diluted as well as extremely immature. And the mother in law she’s the definition of just because you can kids doesn’t mean you should. SMH 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’m glad that OP will be able to divorce him and he won’t get a dime of that inheritance because it’s only under OPs name.

[@greyscaleanon7551]

OP is wrong that her husband's music came first. It's his LAZINESS that came first. If it was his music, he would have put some effort into it. He didn't have the passion or the drive. Just a pipe dream about a lifestyle that he did nothing to actually achieve.

[@MiyukiZero]

I'd get a divorce. It would be my money anyway.

[@GenGamesUniverse]

She won't have to worry about inheritance money going to him; since it's not a marital asset.

[@reillycurran8508]

I'd say YTA for staying as long as you did because it was pretty obvious from the beginning that he didn't appreciate the work you were putting in to make his life better. Ya can't help what don't want helpin'

[@itsobviouslyyuta1461]

“WE have money” who’s we?

[@user-ig8bc1dq3c]

So when she says stuff it’s just out of anger when she’s angry, but when he does it, it must be how he really feels?

[@Lastandfinalunicorn]

These people were destined for divorce. One of the few couples that not being married is a cannon event.

[@cris4ever70]

Oof. This was a mismatch but seriously, dude was so dumb he couldn’t even realize he had a financial advisor, life coach, sugar mommy and mother all wrapped up in this one woman that could stand his lazy ass. She needed to get out, and look for someone who matches her ambition. And the he can go back to where he feels comfortable. They were never going to work.

[@raketensven3127]

>Woman likes man and they marry. >Woman tries to change man, man doesn't change. >Surprised Pikachu Face. >The End.

[@Kingdo_RGT]

Well, it's all these romantic movies/series/books/etc that portray a woman who fall in love with a bad boy and by the force of love end up changing him to be better that are at fault. Theses stupid scenario are everywhere and make people believe if you love enough someone he/she will change for you. Then you have unhappy couples at best, beaten/abused couples at worst. People need to realise that it's better to accept someone than trying to changes them.

[@breadogi7118]

@@Kingdo_RGTdo they not understand fiction?

[@Kingdo_RGT]

@@breadogi7118 Fiction is a reflection of society, after all. Some part of fictions are true, some aren't. Take a kid show for example, while it may have magic and stuff, there also lives lesson and moral to get. Not everyone is equipped to understand what fiction and what is true.

[@breadogi7118]

@@Kingdo_RGT so they don't understand fiction.

[@proatnothing4263]

Husband being Neil Piert

[@lyra6695]

Why this wife is so …… dense Is love that worth it 😭😩 he’s your husband not your wife tf

[@Thaddius0]

Husband was stuck between his wife and his mom. OP was his mom in the equation

[@Dee-jq2ob]

If in the United States, inheritance is not a dividable asset in divorce

[@Lt_Koro]

as always I dont want to defend the guy cuz theres always a lot of fault with the person directly. but in some way he is a victim of bad parenting

[@Baronstone]

No, he is the victim of being lazy. His parenting did not produce an entitled person, he just elected to be lazy and thought that he could get away with it

[@TheGamingNia]

And why do you think he became lazy like that? Because his mother babied him. He was raised as a drummer that couldn't commit or meet half way. The op was innocent but the husband wasn't guilty of how his mother treated him, not making him completely innocent since he didn't try, though. He agreed to a marriage which requires 100% from both parties, and he wouldn't even give 50%.

[@AlE-kc7yw]

I divorced my ex-wife because of the same dumb shit. She thought that you shouldn't save any money for the future. She said, why are you saving money for when you are dead....you have to live now. I explained you saved for unexpected bills, car troubles, buying a house, kid's college and so on. I should add, she mentioned this to me after 5 years of marriage and two kids. I hated living paycheck to paycheck. I got rid of her dumba*s.

[@SiriusBMermaid]

This lady clearly needs to see a therapist because wow! She the red flags were there but she really believe she could change him only to realize that she was raising a fucking grown child.

[@Mynameisnotsangwa]

5 min in and if i was op i would have gotten a divorce. I rather be single than be my husbands sugar mommy

[@pastelbee8125]

10:00 “if he’d known he would have never taken me in the first place” so either way he would have lied and either way you look like the bad guy, no matter what happens this dude is just a POS

[@mm-ze3lz]

how could she be a gold digger if the money wasnt his to begin with hahaha

[@kay-lynnhenry7315]

Everyone here are assholes. OP was hellbent on changing her husband "for the better". That's not her job. Her Ego wouldn't allow her to lose by noticing the red flags and leaving. She would absolutely have to win by changing him into "a real man". The husband is a lost case and should never have had the umbilical cord cut because his insane mother shielded him from the real world and just created a nuisance for society to deal with by letting him leave her pouch.

[@mynailfairy]

Some women are the nurturing type. She was hoping that he will improve and it's a normal expectation when you are married. Unfortunately, the man never learned anything unless maybe, he is put in a situation where he has no choice but to do it. I know because I married one. Although not really a man child, he is a procastinator who would rather starve than cook. So what I did is, I rent out a separate apartment, live separately, and now he is able to organize his self, do his own laundry (correctly), cook his own meal, manage his time better and time he spent on online games reduced to 50%. Some people really needed to be pushed so far away of their comfort zone. Nagging is useless. Experience is the best teacher. We are still very much in love and we meet twice a month. He accepted he has problems and this new lifestyle made us both happy. My in-laws took it as if we are divorced but they wouldn't understand haha.

[@hitsugatatsuro9978]

While I understand cultural norms can be different, I believe it's just that his wife loved him enough to try and teach him what he seemed to have never been taught -tough love and responsibility. I see that as dedication because we can all be a bit stubborn and foolhardy, and we all come from diff bgs so we gotta understand where each other comes from. They were a team. He deserved a second chance after being coddled by his mother, but that's about it. Everything else I agree with as he showed no desire to change for the wife who loved him enough to be the tough guy. Feck him and his enabling toxic mother.

[@AlE-kc7yw]

Honestly, I've seen plenty of dudes get their shit together once they get married due to their wives grounding them. I've been surprised some of them shaped up, but they admitted they would have been drinking every night and they needed to grow up..if not for their wives.

[@user-ig8bc1dq3c]

NEVER MARRY A MUSICIAN!!!!!

[@TheTeresamori]

A successful professional woman is out here suffering due to a man child she knew was a man child since before she married him. Breakup I’m sick listening to this.

[@devhxh1558]

Nah its all coz of inheritance money from both side. Say what you want.

[@wav3r.]

Hey man can you tell what software you use for text to speech

[@aungmoehtutaustin2519]

Moral of the story: don’t date guys that go to concerts

[@davidhorak8625]

Huh

[@firerosenight6937]

How about don't date guys with zero ambition?

[@nimamoradi2779]

​​@@firerosenight6937he has ambition not in normal carrier

[@katherinenelson7221]

Red flags so so many. Love is love but him and the mil all they won't is for you to baby if and pay for a Man that never will grow up. It's a bad family. Git out. It's ok to go and you need to love you. You're the one that has a good job and he will just be a leech

[@putent9623]

OP husband is not a man

[@aundreawilliams1211]

You can almost always tell the type of person someone is by the comments they leave😂😂. The comments she read are from some truly stupid people

[@nimamoradi2779]

I can fix/change him/her

[@mksmike]

Word. if you have to tell yourself that sentence often it's probably best to just cut your losses.

[@Grand1Admiral]

She married a party bro, I am against divorce in this case. She had all the signs before they married and blinded herself to it. So she is the minor AH, obvious MIL is the biggest then the husband and then the wife.

[@kanto555]

El vato no resuelve jajaja

[@verygooddeal4436]

Only part OP is wrong is thinking its bad that his salary hasnt changed over 5 years

[@SejoMinoXP]

It is very bad that it hasn't changed in 5 years. Either he is being taken advantage of at work or he has a very poor work ethic. Those are usually the reasons why people don't get raises.

[@mannydcbianco]

@@SejoMinoXP 100% true. At the very least - even if you're not ambitious - you need to try to keep up with inflation, or the trendline of your salary vs cost of living will eventually extrapolate to zero.

[@verygooddeal4436]

@@SejoMinoXP i meant "thinking its bad" as in its bad that she cares. it sounds like they have enough money, it's just spending that's the issue. but if they make enough money, it really doesnt matter even if his salary stays the same. obviously he doesnt like his job so it doesnt really matter that he isnt trying hard enough to get a pay raise

[@ZenoDovahkiin]

Woman.

[@elanob4539]

why is there never a creditation to the OP??? I want to follow on reddit and get updates :(

[@AelaLoves]

You're the Victim to a man child? You did this yourself, you Chose him! what do you mean! She thought she could fix him or something 🤦‍♂️

[@albertgongora6944]

I'm not going to lie I'm finding it really hard to have sympathy for the original poster because she chose to marry this guy and she knew what he was about and the same thing went for her in-laws especially her mother-in-law of all people so I don't get how she surprised how despicable her husband and her mother-in-law really are like I get it it's one thing to be blinded by love and wanting to be with somebody but the fact that she was aware of her husband's lazy tendencies and how he just chose to be in tech support for the sake of just having some form of income in a career really is more of her fault for choosing that it's like secretly telling yourself I settled for this person it's better than nothing which is not a great mindset to have and it's not great to even have that personality idea that you can change somebody cuz then you end up in a very sad terrible marriage like the original poster has

[@Emmanuel-ws3qo]

yass queen slayy

[@lastraven8575]

Thing is shes right that she treated him like a child and is very controlling. it sounds like she had a specific way of looking at things and decided to fit a square peg into a round hole. Love doesn't work with complete incompatibility

[@morganablackwater2017]

Its not incompatibility thats boy moma that produced lazy manchild - hes unfit to be an adult not to mention a partner to ANYONE The amount of audacity and the way he lies... Its just TOXIC

[@cheesypizzasauce]

​@@morganablackwater2017 yet she chose to be with him over and over and over, at what point do you blame someone for choosing to stick around BS?

[@hitsugatatsuro9978]

​​​@@cheesypizzasauceIt's called being in love. She was stupidly hopeful but eventually learned. Moving to force a partner to change shouldn't necessarily be the norm, but in his case, the man needed an intervention because no doubt no one loved him enough to try, not even dear old ma. She was likely abrasive, but he was a leech. She likely also became controlling because she never expected to raise her husband to be an adult. She just wanted a chill, fun partner in life, not a dumb teenager.

[@cheesypizzasauce]

@@hitsugatatsuro9978 and yet she CHOSE that over and over. Come up with all the justifications you want, that fact won't change. If someone keeps taking poison bc its in a pretty bottle with a bow on top and that person gets sick but keeps taking more later on, do you blame the poison?

[@ComeliaO7]

She was low-key controlling and we can’t ignore that. I get she needed him to be responsible so she wasn’t wrong for telling him to grow up. But also, if he was dead serious about his music, he could’ve done it on his own without her help. Since 2007 all you need is a Camera and Internet connection. That’s literally how everybody’s getting famous now. If he was really serious about it, he should’ve made a separate KZbin channel or an Instagram page 100% dedicated to his music and just kept up the work from there while of course still working a day-to-day 9-to-5 job. Because once you get those followers those advertising stuff on social media is whatever after that. But the fact that they just got home from her uncles funeral and his first words were we rich now and I can finally quit to become a full-time musician was fucked up. I’m not defending that at all. He should’ve just not say a damn thing about that. He should’ve just let mourned like she needed to and let her bring that up on her own.

[@ElviAlivE]

She bought him lessons to learn drumming, but the guy canceled them because he didn't think the professional drumming teacher knew what he was talking about. She was more than supportive

[@MK-jx2lu]

Name a single controlling moment in this story

[@Luaramuffin]

I don't think she is an asshole tbh

[@stevenspence5447]

The husband was a manchild, but the OP is also a narcissist. A match made in hell.

[@karthikds6770]

This is actually a story where the Gender Roles have been reversed. Lazy Wife didn't want Kids and wanted to be a Model story even quiting her job.. Divorced and had to pay alimony. This Swap just Unanimously makes us support OP. Magic of Gender Reversal

[@fitnesshunter6302]

I would have supported the husband in that situation myself but I see your point.

[@lastraven8575]

Did the husband call the wife ugly Like the wife insulted the husband in this storys skills

[@vesnal7536]

Citation needed.

[@karthikds6770]

@@lastraven8575 No. She was beautiful.So he tolerated. Sudden inheritance brought out her party self.

[@Falney]

"I support him" "his not very good" No, you aren't supporting him. Supporting him would be giving him creative criticism and helping him get better. Saying he isn't very good and making him sell half his stuff is disparaging and definitely not supportive.

[@roxanaflores3669]

She clearly stated that she paid for drum lessons to help him get better. The man child was too diluted and said that the professional drummers are not doing it right. She was supporting him and she was being realistic. I’m a musician myself, but I have a career in the medical field.

[@hitsugatatsuro9978]

Oh pls, OP. Just because she didn't detail word for word how she critiqued his music skill while together doesn't mean she wasn't supportive. The woman shelled out actual money for her manchild's lessons despite her misgivings; something you wouldn't do unprompted if you truly did not have hope for improvement. She just wanted him to be realistic as they did not seem rich so investments must be made with commitment in mind. Life isn't kind to overly optimistic/idealistic thinking and choices. If she did allow him to just play drums all day as a career, that would put a strain on her instead as the only spouse with a reliable income stream and the only one spending responsibly. Imagine what woulda happened to them during the pandemic. She is his spouse, his equal. Don't get snippy about her not enabling him like his horrible mother.

[@RandoWisLuL]

While OPs husband did need work and indeed needed to get it together. But OP is doing the typical thing a lot of women do: I'm correct, you are not, do what I say because I KNOW. Just not a fan of that aspect.

[@RandoWisLuL]

@@ms.hjohnson6820 have a conversation. Speak about it like two adults. figure out what you are going to do and do it. Saying " do it because im right and your not" is the last thing that should be said.

[@RandoWisLuL]

​@@ms.hjohnson6820 could also be how the voice is coming off as well. I don't know. She stated how he "needs" to do things several times in the story. all we can do is imagine how OP came off, at the time i imagined her saying " come on, you NEED to do A, B, and C because i say so" Thats what i remember. Ill go watch it again.

[@Saladass21795]

There is hardly any reasoning with adults who don't even know how to act like adults, is there?

[@morganablackwater2017]

Lol people accused her of being gold digger? Wow some males need help in comperhanding reality. 😮

[@cheesypizzasauce]

OP and her husband both sound like they suck. Him being so irresponsible and her trying change him. If he's so bad, and it sounds like he was, LEAVE. Find someone who isn't a man child. You knew what he was like from the beginning. Why are you marrying him? Someone who repeatedly chooses to be around bs, eventually is just as at fault.

[@Krisopman]

Second pin comment

[@jjcepeda9398]

Musician ok… but an amateur with no talent omg please…. Save it hun😂

[@Tamara_Middleton]

OP sounds like a nightmare…. And a horrible horrible human being! Sad the husband didn’t leave her first!

[@kwak-zz1gj]

I mean their actions are inexcusable but it doesn’t seem like you support him in his dream. You’ve made it clear you don’t believe in him and have actively stopped him from going for it. Now that doesn’t excuse their horrible actions. They are absolutely in the wrong but to me it doesn’t seem like you support him in his dream even though you’re adamant about supporting him

[@RealCurrencies]

Oh my god. A boss lady ranting. My balls shriveled away until there were none left, and I had to quit at about the 12 minute mark.

[@darkdragonmoderator5504]

Um what? A boss lady? What are you talking about?

[@RealCurrencies]

@@darkdragonmoderator5504 You didn't notice she called her husband a 'manchild' and that she was 'parenting' him?

[@darkdragonmoderator5504]

@RealCurrencies Yeah because he fucking is a pathetic man child who earns no money and doesn't clean up after himself. She shouldn't have to be his mommy nor should she submit to someone that pathetic

[@JJ-br1nh]

​@@darkdragonmoderator5504basically realcurrencies can only handle being around the helpless babydoll type of female 'oh, flutter, flutter, the teapot is boiling over, whatever shall I do?' with a hand held to her forehead...

[@darkdragonmoderator5504]

@@JJ-br1nh bruh wtf are you talking about