Identifying Our Needs

Many of our dysfunctional and destructive behaviors are actually sad attempts to get our needs met. Unfortunately, most of us have not grown up in environments were our needs were recognized, labeled, and attended to in a healthy manner. In this video, Dr. May will help to boost your "needs vocabulary" by going over common human needs. She will teach you how your feelings and circumstances can be starting points for discovering which needs are being met or not met. She also reviews how we can take specific action steps for meeting our needs in healthy ways.
**This channel contains videos of ALL the Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills, Radically Open DBT skills, and much more! Check out the new series on Sensorimotor Psychotherapy (*designed to help with attachment and trauma problems), which is currently being recorded. For updates and easy access to content, feel free to SUBSCRIBE.

[@fishyclouds]

Great video!

[@randycunningham7084]

Thank you for such a great video. I have problems with identifying my needs and you just showed me the first clear steps I can take to help myself. I’m looking forward to more content

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

Awesome. Glad this was helpful to you! :-)

[@shannonsallows7614]

I just found your video and it was so helpful and i cant wait to continue with your videos. Yup, i subscribed

[@pablogarcesdiaz1151]

great video. thanks so much.

[@davidbradley4305]

Wow that's awesome I definitely relate

[@quinnism.e]

thank you! I was looking for something like this but couldn't find the right vocabulary for it.

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

Glad I could help! 🙏

[@freedomtownn]

Thank you, this was incredibly helpful. You are making things better. ✨

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

Thanks so much 🙏

[@irop.7663]

thank you!!

[@colerabuey3088]

Thank you so much. Greetings from Mexico City!

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

Awesome! A big shout out to Mexico City from New York!

[@juliecook1815]

Great video, I gained a lot of clarity!!

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

Glad to hear! 👍🏻

[@rewakaur7375]

Great content! Thank you🙌🏼

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

Thank you 🙏

[@hansy1305]

Fantastic presentation on a nebulous yet essential topic. Thank you

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

Thank you 🙏

[@simonegeorgouli9459]

Very interesting!

[@Mindsetolympics]

Fabulous job thank you so much for this it’s helped me journal somethings out for my self esteem building

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

Glad to hear! I hope it will be helpful!

[@axcson]

Thank you for the video it was inspiring!

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

Thank you!

[@tabla1511]

Very nice video ma'am, I had one doubt, can we consider self esteem and contribution as a need, I doubt or would require some more clarity to understand it.

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

Sorry for the late reply! In general, people have a desire to feel worthwhile and of value. Ideally, we can strive to meet that need in healthy ways that are of benefit to ourselves and others. But sometimes the need for self-esteem can be acted out in more problematic ways, such as by becoming perfectionistic, arrogant, bossy, power-hungry, etc. Also, because we are social creatures, we have a need to connect to others. Our brains are also hardwired to help us feel pleasure when we help people. We even live longer when we volunteer and serve others because it is in our species' survival advantage. So we often find ways to contribute to other people directly (e.g., as a friend, parent, worker) or indirectly (e.g., through "generativity" by doing things that will help the next generation). I hope this helped a little bit. If you have more questions, let me know!

[@fishyclouds]

What if some of those needs are not met for a long time??

[@Yo_dream.]

I am sorry, why on 5:35 you say that you don’t need sex personnel, but the specie do? You mean you don’t do it for yourself (balancing hormones, sexual tension relief, etc), but for reproducing?

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

I probably meant that some people go their whole lives without sex, but nobody can go without food, water, shelter, etc. We are wired up to need and want sex because it helps us continue the survival of the species, and most people consider it to be an important need. Howeve, trauma, , negative life experiences, social factors, and sometimes even biology can block this need from being expressed or satisfied.

[@Yo_dream.]

@@jennifermayph.d.2761 hmm, ok. Thnks dr May!

[@leave-it-wild]

I enjoyed you until you used Tony Robbins. Yuck. He is the equivalent of a Televangelist trying to sell snake oil. I enjoy Narm, though not money-making schemes such as what Tony Robbin's sells.

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

I’m not a fan of Tony Robbin’s either but when doing a search on needs, I came across his idea about them, which actually isn’t bad.