I wish My BPD person was like you

If a person or group treats you like an it and you insist on treating them like a thou, all you're doing is harming yourself for no reason. There's no moral high ground in sacrificing yourself for someone who hates you.

Thank you so much Dr May, this RO DBT playlist has been an absolute treasure trove for me. Through this I’ve learned so much about myself that I previously couldn’t pinpoint/articulate (ie being over controlled). I’m relieved that these skills exist to help me (and others) heal in such practical ways ! Much gratitude

Thank you Dr. May. it’s a struggle in France finding a therapist who knows DBT and your videos are a really helping me

Thank you so much

Very useful for women! Thank you 🙏

Great video 😊

awesome series... thank you!

That‘s so true…………

I’ve come to understand I was my ex best friends FP, she eventually severed the relationship herself - not me, and I never understood what I did (it started to go wrong when I got a boyfriend) even though I still was prioritising her. I’ve never had any closure so these videos are helping me come to terms with it after several years of being baffled.

also what can we do when our FP becomes manipulative and abusive

this video is such an eye opener. i was diagnosed with BPD a few years ago before that i was obsessed with this classmate of mine. never knew why that relationship ruined me until now.... holy shit

Thank you so much for taking the time to explain this so well!

Why nlt treat with medication when seizuring? My seizure wont stop unless i get something thro iv

Thank you so much for this

I've only learned about BPD and FP in the last few months and it's been helpful because I use social media now to have a few FPs but to bounce between them to avoid full long term obsession. However, I find that in real life I self isolate to avoid driving people off with the FP obsession or intensity of BPD & an FP. It has felt very lonely

Thank u jennifer mam love it

I’m super interested in stumbling across this modality for Avoidant PD coping …I’ve been misdiagnosed as bpd as there is no research on Avpd & I’m female (& they also share a fear of abandonment , expressed differently) But isolation and the social safety is super problematic. But I also under control too. Binge eating , etc . I don’t know if that is due to ADHD and a separate problem. I’m not a high functioning perfectionist , so I don’t know if that’s even over control , but I fit the behavioural inhibition and all the childhood temperaments. I also have the wonky fearful avoidant attachment so , in the module it says the therapist approach would be suited for avoidant , but I would want therapist attachment. Interesting but puzzling for my specific situation, but maybe it’s not so black and white

I wrote a comment on here two months ago, I have been seeing a psychologist who specialises in DBT for that period of time, we discuss the core fundamentals of the condition much like this video which assists in making sense of everything I am dealing with in my life, and then during the week I am away from her I work through the solution via journaling, meditation on inner-belief and security, and building a stronger sense of self. It's a lot to take on, sometimes you find yourself having to forgive your parents or others that hurt you, betrayed you, assaulted you, you may grieve loss, it takes time to sit in your thoughts saying "I forgive you" before the soul meets the words. Of course OCD wanted to kick in for two weeks and destroy my life but having a spiritual pillar (I gave my life to Christ - I know it's not for everyone but it really is life changing) has been a blessing in terms of obedience, looking outward, not worrying about what I think of me because I know what God thinks of me has centred the entire experience. I am becoming much more secure, when I feel rushed or someone is confronting me (i own a business) I use words of honesty strategically "let me organise my thoughts around that and I'll get back to you" or I am learning to pause before answering. I am finding a lot of power coming back to me. I still have to stop overcompensating and people pleasing as much but I am ok with not being perfect, I have more work to do, it's hard being patient. Anyways, sending you all lots of love and pray you all heal deeply.

What if something that happened in the past still manifests in the present?

Thank you for this summary! Very helpful. ❤

wow super helpful, thanks

This was stressful just listening to it. The inflection and tone of voice and drama cause me to not listen after about 5 minutes.

Hi Dr. May, I was wondering if you could do a whole comprehensive series on ERP therapy like you did sensorimotor psychotherapy? I'm in DBT for my emotion dysregulation, but it's not helping my OCD. I don't have access to ERP where I am either. Or ACT therapy because that's the other one they say is effective for OCD. That one's also hard to find information on. I've gotten some books but it's pretty confusing to me, almost too abstract... At least what I've been reading so far. Just a couple ideas for those of us with serious problems with OCD, agoraphobia, and any anxiety based disorders. No pressure. Thank you so much for everything that you do for us. 💓🙏🏻

I enjoyed you until you used Tony Robbins. Yuck. He is the equivalent of a Televangelist trying to sell snake oil. I enjoy Narm, though not money-making schemes such as what Tony Robbin's sells.

Get some better lighting. You look like your in a closet

Some of the most painful experiences have led to some really great outcomes. I find that when I think the world is ending and I hate the situation.somethimg ten times better happens as a result.

Your videos have been so helpful. Through dating on and off for a year I slowly yet painfully discovered that I had not only an anxious/preoccupied attachment but a favorite person relationship to my partner who was disorganized. Talk about a thrilling rollercoaster. Lol I changed my relationship to the truth with your radical acceptance videos because I did not want to believe all this pain and tragedy. I’m currently working on getting them back with this new found knowledge. Of course I’ll keep my prostitute archetype at bay and balance GIVE, FAST, my needs AND their needs and see what happens. Wish me luck haha Thanks Dr. May. 💙

I’m struggling to understand my diagnosis of this, my life runs smooth and don’t have any worries or stress, I don’t suffer from depression or anxiety, I’ve had these for over 4 years and no one will help me because I don’t want to end my life of I don’t feel I’m a failure, but the last few weeks my seizures are getting worse, last week I lost count at 30 seizures and and another night I was having them for over 6 hours, was having pain in my chest through it, the only thing that bothers me is it’s getting me down with getting no help or support, I just don’t know what to do, I’m in the uk

This describe my behaviour and tought pattern to a t. Trying to heal this and be more secure in myself.

Love these diagrams !!! Thankyou.

Why did it take 3 years for the algorithm to give this gift to me? The timing could not be better, thank you for being a real help to those of us in the world.

Thank you for teaching this, for myself, knowing this stuff is more helpful then literal years of therapy. Your distillation of these concepts give me ease for I now understand more why I act the way I do from extensive medical trauma due a birth defect. The algorithm didn't let me find this until now, your channel deserves more eyeballs on it and many. many more subscribers. I'm happy it finally let me find your information.

Thank you for this, you taught simply the weirdness of being a preemie, 7 months with a cleft palate-feeding issues, in 1963 when touch was not a consideration to most medical systems. The prevailing thought was what happened to a child before age 5yo the child will not remember or be affected by things. I joked that my infancy taught me to just shut down, ignore future trauma events. That reaction was atypical for many with PTSD, took my until age 54 to finally receive a cPTSD dx due how innate my hiding reactions from the world while maintaining the social, happy mask.

Thank you for this. Beautifully elucidated.

This is really helpful. I appreciate your time in making this. Thank you for sharing your knowledge!

Thank you

Thank you so much it was a great and very helpful video! I love how you explained Heart Math, it was an amazing master class!!

PNES has a couple of working terms but i know of them as dissociative seizures and I like that term for me as apart from the seizures I also struggle with other symptoms of dissociation, like dissociative amnesia and DID. They usually pop up for a period of a couple months and then go away again. I had one for the first time in a little over a year today they always exacerbate my symptoms of dissociation and also recovered some repressed memories about my molestation

Thank you, Jennifer! While I don’t always agree with every point presented, I appreciate you and your videos so so much. They have made me think much more deeply about life and myself.❤

Thank you Dr. May. I got a new therapist yesterday who mentioned that my autonomy was undermined. After 30 years in therapy that was a first. My immediate response was to Google and KZbin and I found YOU. THANK YOU. I have been frozen/stuck since 6th grade with moments of relief and your video definitely got me started thinking about all this and now how to get better. I had no idea this was the problem and I've been searching and searching. I really appreciated it!!

this is so helpful!! thank you so much!!

The content was excellent but I have to be honest: I couldn't hang in there with the countless "rights and okays" which are really bad public speaking habits. It's akin to professional presenter saying "you know" a lot or being interviewed and using that phrase repeatedly. You have a lot of likes and listeners so maybe I am overly tuned into this, or they're being too nice to mention it. We can all improve our craft by listening or watching our performance on video and receiving constructive criticism. So thank you for your sharing but try to drop so many of those same phrases...

Very useful...

This is an insightful presentation, thank you. Sorry, English is not my native language. I am a person with BPD. I think that this FP thing originates from deep inside. It roots from an idea that a perfect person must exist. (If not, then the world is over.. no hope.) Maybe this feeling of longing for a perfect person is childish, but truly exists. Most people with no BPD simply cannot understand and get confused experiencing this idealization. That's why I have often been labeled "selfish" and without love (for my FP), which are possibly the most horrible words to hear from an FP. 😞 (BTW, I am a hetero male and my FPs have mostly been my female romantic partners.)

Thank you Jennifer! I appreciate you so much!!!

I don’t agree that there are “negative emotions” and “positive emotions”. Ever anger and fear have survival functions and so are positive. I think “depleting” and “rejuvenating” are better terms. A depleting emotion activates the sympathetic system and a rejuvenating emotion, such as love or gratitude, activates the parasympathetic system.

You’re so helpful.

Thanks for all your super helpful/clear/insightful videos! Lovely and kind to share these!! One question: I was looking at the slide with the example and wondering: The physical arousal, would that not be there first, after which the emotions start, followed by the overwhelm? I'm trying to match this with my understandings (so far ;-) of the polyvagal theorie.Thx!

The kind eyes thing feels horrific disgusting and just all around awful. I can't even think of strong enough words to accurately describe. 0/10 would not recommend if you have this attachment style lol