iDubbbz Apology Video - Therapist Reacts - (Part 1 of 2)

[@iDubbbzTV]

My wife and I have been a big fan of you for years. It's very surreal to see this and I really appreciate your perspective.

[@areyoufauxreal26]

Oh wow it’s awesome that you saw this! Two awesome content creators having a positive exchange, love to see it!

[@sfooshy4517]

I was a little too old to watch your content, but have been through a similar shameful phase. Im really glad youre talking about it. More white people need to talk about their place in systematic racism. Its the only way to dismantle it even though WS try to change the narrative of it.

[@MariahBunni]

It was a really coherent and sincere apology. Vaush reviewed it too & would like to talk to you about it (he thought it was good) :)

[@sunshine_hun]

❤❤❤ great seeing you here Ian

[@ericswag8465]

Hello Mr. Jomha!!

[@michaelajia6435]

I am Asian and since Covid-19 my life has been pretty awful, I feel like covid gave a lot of people an excuse to unleash their inner racists without consequences. seeing such a famous youtuber setting a good example for a wide audience is a breath of fresh air.

[@PsychologyInSeattle]

Yes. Agreed. The racism against Asians is often under-reported.

[@areyoufauxreal26]

I was a fan of him in his heyday and I really appreciate that he has apologized (and thank the stars that I’ve changed too!) so I think I’m more familiar with his content than some others here. I think what he’s mostly referring to throughout this video is his casual racism, as he called it, but he also made ableist content and defended his use of the r-word a LOT. I think the reason he didn’t go into more detail about what he did is because he’s now trying not to bring any attention to those kinds of sentiments at all, which is understandable, but I think it would’ve helped if he had explained a bit more.

[@Miguel-cg2vz]

the people that he's apologizing to have all the necessary context in my opinion

[@giandina85]

i am one of those who asked you to react to idubbz, i am so happy you reacted to him and so glad to see this interaction between you too. i never watched his videos but i am a fan of H3 and they are friends so i knew idubbz from there. thank you for reacting to this!

[@DresGarB]

Man, I don't miss being an edgy teenager. I was such a shithead, I feel deeply ashamed of myself during that time, but also grateful because we didn't have social media back then. I was not smart enough to realize my awful, infantile, world views were best kept private which could have resulted in a lot of ill-conceived social media posts.

[@comedyfriendsenglish]

literally same. I feel you.

[@Aliasass]

Jup it's not ill-conceived tho

[@crispy7499]

Same, it was almost entirely a mix of my self hatred and emotional underdevelopment that caused it for me.

[@girlnextdoor480]

Hey Dr Honda! KZbinr D’Angelo Wallace did a really in depth video about this apology and some of the backlash. His video was well done and informative for someone like me who had no idea who Idubz is.

[@PsychologyInSeattle]

Thanks!

[@Donnathedog]

Same! I was so excited to see Dr Honda to also cover it especially with the apology deep dive in mind

[@onkadoodle510]

That’s crazy, when I saw iDubbz apology, my first thought was “I wonder what Dr. Honda would say”

[@NotAMuse]

‘A lot of you’ - I was one of those! Thank you so much for doing this Dr Honda. Okay now onto the video, will comment after I finish.

[@katerzp]

Hi Dr. Honda - Very interesting that you mentioned people may get offended by @iDubbbz and thereby insert themselves by excusing @iDubbbz effort when this is exactly what happened with @penguinz0, who has a major influence on this platform. This youtuber received a ton of backlash considering he inserted his feelings of offense regarding an apology that was not aimed at him. I think you might find that take fairly interesting.

[@PsychologyInSeattle]

Yeah, it's always interesting to see privileged people (and I don't know if penguiz is privileged or not) get upset when other privileged people acknowledge their privilege. I think it makes them question their own privilege. How many times can I type "privilege"? Five times, apparently.

[@dariasmeh]

@@PsychologyInSeattle Could you talk about the difference between having an *advantage* vs. having *privilege* in society and what term is appropriate for what when it comes to analyzing and solving disparity in our society (from a psychology perspective)? Definitions: *Advantage*: a condition or circumstance that puts one in a favorable or superior position *Privilege*: a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group. Or is this irrelevant and not applicable to analyzing society?

[@caseyw.6550]

​@Daria Smeh Its the same thing. Does it make you feel better to call it an advantage rather than privilege? Uh, why??? Why the need for a distinction here? Very weird.

[@dariasmeh]

@@caseyw.6550 Huh? What? What is happening? So there is existing discourse and some research about this and I wanted to get his insight as an academic researcher from an academic. I worked in this social science research sector for over 15 years where we focus on issues of human rights, access etc. This includes rhetoric and defining things, among very large research endeavours. So to respond to your triggered "why" it was simply a question to him as an academic to get his thoughts on what other people and some little bit of research/writings are putting out there. There was a reason I asked him directly with the @ and not to everyone because I wanted his critical analysis on the idea from all the research he has read and experience he had - what are the merits or lack of merits to this idea that others are putting out there. To have a hateful comment from you because you misunderstood when I'm asking a research question makes me just want to tell you that it's okay there was no need to be reactive, you're safe and you are misreading from some anger you are struggling with- it was a question with a focus to critically analyze it from one academic researcher to someone who works in academia. I'd also add that the message also included a place for him to talk about the irrelevance to any distinction or differentiation.

[@faviod752]

3:50 I think the backlash occurs because many youtube apology videos doesn't seem sincere, genuine apologies, but manipulation to not lose their audience. The Laura Lee apology seems to be one of these, for example, as there seems to be an intent to put on a show. She later did an apologized of the apology. Now I'm waiting for the apology of the apology of the apology.

[@AliciaMcIntire]

Speaking of the treadmill, I would be perfectly happy if you never put out another Love Is Blind related episode or whatever if it feels like a chore for you. We like this channel, because we like you, and it is okay if you don't get to everything that we might ask about

[@samirasingh3193]

I have no idea who this guy is but I’m loving the growth here and that he watches Dr Honda!!!!!

[@shesalilsapphicokay]

Am I the only one who dislikes the word 'edgy'? Let's just call a spade a spade. If we call racism and misogyny and the like 'edgy' it feels like we are playing into the same culture that we are criticizing. Even if it's a racist joke it's still a racist joke. Let's just call things what they are. (I have never seen an iDubbbz video, I'm just talking generally here).

[@thundercaaat]

YES. Thank you! Hadn't thought of it like that before, but you're 1000% right.

[@truefalse934]

100% it’s funny how ppl (often white non poc) are sooo uncomfortable calling it was it is

[@DresGarB]

Language is an ever evolving thing for the purpose of efficiency in communicating a message. The word edgy in this context fulfills that purpose as you are clearly able to understand what it means. It is not used to soften the connotation, like an euphemism would, which is what you try to imply it does when you say let's just call a spade a spade. Even if we don't like them, let's not discount words and expressions just because younger people use them.

[@kang_rina]

Yeah i would say edgy should be more defined like jokes about death and other taboo but not discriminatory things

[@bab8771]

I think edgy implies that the behavior is intended to receive controversy or laughs. The difference is some are bigoted with no intent for humor or fame/infamy. Edgy helps the listener understand that there is an undercurrent of immaturity and provocation. Some people are just racist without intent to rile others, which is where the distinction sits.

[@s.melonita4454]

330 000 k, Doc!!! Congratulations to the Psychology in Seattle team ♥

[@Cornberry]

I really enjoy when you talk about being a content creator yourself, it's cool to hear about what the process is like for you and your feelings on it. I used to watch Ian (idubz) quite a lot, during the height of those edgy high school years, and yeah absolutely hearing him speak that way affected how I viewed slurs and derogatory speech and behavior. I grew out of that though; and the more I was exposed to the world, with going to college and living away from home, the more empathy I had for other people and I really saw how hurtful it was to use words like that. Most of my life I was never a target of slurs myself other than some really lowball Asian stereotypical stuff, which didn't affect me at all, but someone called me the f-slur one day and it hurt. I'd never experienced it before because I'm LGBTQ and realized it later into my adolescence but I still present like your average straight person. That moment just replayed in my head constantly. It's so different when you're the target, and not just hearing it spoken.

[@MAIMEDWOLF]

I love your point on apologizing. You should feel guilt if youve hurt someone/people. I think some people consider it “guilting” the victim, but you can mostly tell when someone is actually hurting because of the things they’ve done. And I personally think Idubbs did a good job. His apology isnt for me exactly but I thought it was well done. I also feel really bad for his partner, because I think shes who helped him feel guilt and remorse for what hes done. And his partner is getting a lot of hate and abuse from the internet.

[@johannabelle]

Anisa has been abused so much on the internet, it's heartbreaking. Remember the OnlyFans thing? I'm really glad that he's stood by her and is taking an even more active stance in making it clear that's not okay.

[@MAIMEDWOLF]

@@johannabelle Yeah I think her getting abuse really opened his eyes to him making content for bad people to feel safe. I truly think Anisa is the one who guided him into becoming a better person. And his ex fans hate her because of it. What a crazy situation man

[@Galaxia53]

You can have hurt someone yet not be in the wrong. For example, and I'm going to use this one on purpose. I can say that calling someone a nigger is a bad thing. Just by saying that I will have hurt some people their feelings just because I said a word even though I said that calling someone the word is bad. I have hurt someone's feelings yet didn't do anything wrong. Idubbbz did the same thing. He said this word yet didn't have racist intend behind it but now is apologizing for having said it, which is stupid.

[@PsychologyInSeattle]

Yeah, I'm guessing some of his fans feel betrayed. He's taking a risk.

[@MAIMEDWOLF]

@@Galaxia53 the word is inherently offensive its generally agreed that it is a racist word and using the word means you're being racist

[@amaprime7225]

Thank you so much for reacting to this! I was one of I’m sure lots of people asking for it. 😅

[@Ninaagabi]

I think ironically that those who say they don’t have confidence in their ability to entertain have the best personalities tucked away 🙂

[@anniekirpy]

As much as I did participate/watch his videos, I definitely don’t miss the 2015-2016 edgy youtuber era. On a surface level, it seems like ‘edgy’ and sarcastic content that appeals to a younger audience, but when you look deeper into it, it just precipitates a culture of hate and bigotry which is sooo damaging!! I think this apology was definitely needed for not only the community he hurt, but also his audience because they have grown up aswell and matured (Aka me!)

[@sfooshy4517]

Early internet culture was all about being superior than others. It was an echo chamber where nerds could express themselves, and the schema that comes with being rejected is what echoed the loudest. People trying to protect their egos and impress other nerds online. Of course there was other social rejects that arent just nerds online, and they typically go on websites like 4chan. A lot of early memes and humor originated from sites like that and grew like the plague. It felt inclusive to have a sense of humor that people in person didnt quite understand. Its almost like a cult mentality. Idubbz content was just the tip of the iceberg of how internet culture was at that time(and still is in some corners).

[@PsychologyInSeattle]

Yeah, well-put.

[@rosettastonk3808]

My worlds are colliding

[@pastelberru]

Hey There !!! Ethan from H3H3 podcast would love to have you on! He has mentioned it a few times this week. Been watching you for many years. Thankful for your insight.

[@adelelouise]

Oh lord!!! I AM HERE FOR THIS BABYYYY!!!!!

[@tynouiy]

Yay!! I love your apology videos, and was so looking forward to seeing what you'd have to say about this.

[@jadesmith417]

It was cool to see a Kat Blaque and Dr. Honda crossover. I really enjoyed her video on the situation too.

[@KillTheBeats91]

Dr. Honda, people have beeb calling him out for YEARS about his content and he continuously doubled-down. So I would never be able to chuck his mistakes to "the culture of the internet then" he tried to keep that ugly culture alive in a time when the internet was really not accepting it and actively moving on. So, for me personally, apology "accepted" but also i have major doubts about him and his intentions with it. commenting at 7:27

[@ericswag8465]

He stopped making edgy content right around the time that edgy content got demonetized on youtube!!! I wonder if money had anything to do with his spiritual awakening...

[@elen5871]

yes! i am very excited to see your input on this. i was a mildly edgy kid, but i am not white, nor straight, so the whole racist homophobic schtick always did my head in. seeing idubbbz unreservedly apologize for his contribution, however late, really felt pretty damn nice tbh.

[@anansimaluma6410]

It's just funny how the "content for content sake" is straight up casual racism for profit.

[@dheveroh]

I was re-watching Red Wedding GOT & Robbs apology to Walder Frey for not keeping his word.was such a good apology & I would like to see if he hit all of your makers of a good apology. Although... Walder didn't seem to accept it.

[@dahwitzz]

yeh im not an expert on his content but from what i remember i never got the vibe that he was bigoted in intent, like if he cut out the slurs and overly edgy stuff his videos would've been fine. It honestly hurt his content by including that stuff because it often contradicted his points of criticism for some creators. But yes a lot of people gravitated to his content bc they were bigoted and a lot of others especially young people couldn't differentiate the sarcasm or edgy bigotry and learned that this rhetoric was appropriate and took pride in using it. Plus im pretty sure idubbbz would constantly say it was fine to say slurs like as long as your weren't doing it in a racist way i guess which is ridiculous and super harmful. People in these minority communities have come out and said when they were younger they were called slurs and the people doing it would use idubbbz as the justification for it not being racist to do so. So yeh he contributed to a generation of people being indoctrinated to not believe in the harmful effects of bigotry and discount the damage described by those affected as being babies not able to take a joke. People try to defend this stuff now saying oh it was just edgy it was fine back in those days (2016 lmao not long ago) like no it was never ok just bc some viewers weren't the target of those words could chuckle along or brush past it, the minorities watching the content felt that cruelty then and now. It sucks to see people attack him for this apology bc they think it's unwarranted since they weren't the ones being transgressed then and aren't of the communities the apology's mostly meant for. In my opinion it seems super genuine and im glad he set the record straight and unambiguously acknowledged and disavowed the harmful nature of the content.

[@WolfShenda]

17 minutes in, subscribing. Shame I only found your channel now!

[@aed4n92]

Oh my goodness, can we also get a reaction to Charlie's 2 videos on the iDubz situation!?

[@Mari-il4bw]

I’m just barely into the video and you’re saying what another creator on here that I watch said, she’s a black creator and I love her videos and she basically said that idubbz probably grew up in a place primarily white where saying slurs and being racist was seen as funny and it was normalized but then as he moved out of his own bubble and got to see other people and hear their experiences and how these slurs and remarks are hurtful to them it allowed him to see the damage he was causing. I definitely agree with that I grew up similarly and then I started to listen to other people and hear them out and most importantly listen with empathy.

[@mariemoncada6980]

I'm so un-hip. Who is this even?

[@joelover270]

something i have to say that dr honda gets at more abstractly when discussing apologies: it infuriates me when people who are not members of the group harmed accept apologies from the perpetrator. if you are non-black and you forgive idubbbz, that's your business. but the idea that you are in a position to accept his apology when his irresponsible behavior didn't really impact you in the first place is wild to me. i too was an edgy stupid teen once. i did not have the privilege to go through a phase where my edginess included mocking oppressed groups or saying slurs that i knew offended them because i was busy dealing with the effects of bullying from irresponsible and ignorant people like idubbbz. now as a social scientist who studies how antiblackness is perpetuated, i don't feel inclined to forgive people who normalize our oppression through jokes. if you do, that's your ministry, but you do not get to absolve him.

[@rainbowbun4623]

I can understand where you’re coming from, and the privilege you mention is real. I wasn’t a viewer of this person but I thought his apology seemed sincere. Obviously he did wrong in the past. Can I ask what you think someone who has done hurtful things can do to apologize or make up for it? Especially to help the impacted groups from “edginess” (I think that’s a softball term for it but it’s what we’re working with). Apologizing and changing direction seems like the only solution, but I’d like to hear your thoughts especially as you’re a social scientist. You don’t have to accept the apology, and I don’t think many unimpacted folks are thinking about it as “accepting” the apology. Is there another action that you’d prefer to see that might be better?

[@Leselangs]

thank u dr kirk!!

[@TruthorOrder]

I literally said "Yayyyyyyy!!!" Out loud 😅

[@slashandbones13]

There is backlash because most people, not all, are not very sincere.

[@strawberrysangria1474]

Your point on feeling guilty with apologies is interesting. It makes me wonder if people who have apathetic mental disorders can still apologize. Apathy seems to be the plague of today's society. Teaching your kids to apologize is great, but if they're forced to, they do it begrudgingly and on command, and the victim is expected to just accept it. Some people don't even apologize but so much time has passed that victims are told to "get over it". I think we need to redefine what an apology is, and not all arguments have to lead to someone giving in and saying sorry.

[@cremeuxkraft9019]

I started journalling when i was in grade 1. (It was because my teacher wanted ne to work on my printing. Im 41 now, lol) Ive tossed almost everything, except a few highlights cuz they didnt make me feel good. No regrets with that, because i found that my memories are so clear from the practice. 😂 im too weak for the cringe.

[@daniellewinn5774]

I remember being in middle school/high school. All the boys who loved idubbz acted like scum. Thinking sexism, racism, and rape jokes were okay and funny. I have no sympathy for these people. I was the same age and knew that it was wrong. They could have too but chose not to care. People like him inspired a lot of people to hurt a lot of people. He shouldn't be making content anymore. He had the platform and misused it.

[@ms.mittenz]

Dr. Kirk is so wholesome :) fart jokes :)

[@iramage2235]

"a safe space where they can be racist and sexist" I love it xD how the tides turn lol

[@Cryinginthecloudssss]

This is kinda off topic but kinda not. Cause I used to watch onision and in the beginning….Idubbez reminded me of onision in some ways. But at least Idubbez didn’t ask for his fan base to send in selfies to rate them…and it’s weird cause onisions main demographic was teenage girls. But it would be interesting for you to watch one of onisions “apology” vidoes

[@andra9601]

Who is this person? This channel keeps bringing me news about what the young people are up to and I feel like I’m keeping up with the times by watching it 😅

[@BJSepuku]

He got popular around 2016, so 7 years ago. Not necessarily a "young people" thing

[@nicom202]

Me too & I'm 29 😊

[@andra9601]

@@BJSepuku right, good to know. I guess I meant younger than me.

[@inferno7289]

I know him from his "Content Cop" videos where he criticized other youtubers in a mocking way

[@andra9601]

@@callmekirkland8 wow, it seems like there was a lot of working through problematic content and social/ parasocial conflict. Thanks for providing more context.

[@ShibaSeshi]

I’m really proud of him for taking accountability. I’m not familiar with his content but I love seeing positive changes. ❤️

[@whtyc]

I thought his apology was great. It felt entirely sincere and genuine, less concerned with maintaining his viewers and more with truly atoning.

[@avaphynx]

People keep mentioning the intent behind the rácíst joke. Saying well they weren't coming from a bad place. Rácîsm isn't funny and to think it is says a lot about the person.

[@Galaxia53]

People got mad in droves because they disagree with what he apologized for. It's as simple as that.

[@oliwardcomics]

a merely surface level perspective from someone who clearly wasnt involved in any way with the filthy frank youtube era and couldnt possibly begin to understand this situation. not to be rude, just honestly thats what this is

[@akludnna]

I clicked so fast

[@LaggySnake]

I also clicked fast

[@Mothermochi]

It would be nice to hear a lot of creators from that period atone for for their part in the alt-right pipeline honestly. There are a lot of creators that hid behind their fan base and quietly rebranded 🙄

[@kayjay7585]

Respectfully, I think you should link to the video you are reacting to.

[@REPDC4LIFE]

its not hard to find the video

[@kayjay7585]

@@REPDC4LIFE true, but it's also not hard to link it in the description, which to my understanding is the convention and common courtesy for reaction videos.

[@emzz2263]

Fuck im early

[@Galaxia53]

You seem to assume a lot about what he Idubbz is talking about and apologizing for.

[@berrynoir]

Idubbz himself commented on this very video in support of Dr. Honda and did not give any indication that his speculations were wrong.

[@Galaxia53]

@@berrynoir What I meant is in the video he says IDubbbz is apologizing for his past misdeeds. But Kirk doesn't know if those what he assumes are misdeeds actually are, and if he should be apologizing. Kirk assumes that if Idubbbz thinks he has done something wrong then it must have been wrong.

[@OldManEatsOats]

Idubbbz paid you for a shout out for his wife 2 years ago, you’re being manipulated