If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device - Episode 27: A Cat to Yarn, A Bird to Folly

Base Script/Story by Alfabusa
Script Writers: Earndil, Alfabusa
Video Editor: Alfabusa, VindicareAssassin, Zojammerweer
Script Editors: Oculus Imperia, Kochiha Ichihara, Voy, Nostalgia, Randolph Carter, ThunderPsyker
Art by:
SleepyDraw
sleepydraw.deviantart.com/
Eliphus
/ eliphusz
littlecutter.deviantart.com/
Adeptus Adamaris
adeptusadamaris.deviantart.com/
Nostlagia
comicker-kai.deviantart.com/
RudeRubicante
RRubicante?lang=en
Garrot
www.deviantart.com/skrumpgoblin
Gods-and-Kings
gods-and-kings.deviantart.com/
AkiGlancy
/ akiglancy
Soundtrack by:
StringStorm
/ stringstorm
/ galiant609
Glowtide
/ djglowtide
Eliphus
/ @eliphas8200
___
ThunderPsyker as Kitten
/ thunderpsyker
/ thunderpsyker
Zegram as Magnus the Red
/ generalvonbunny
Randolph Carter as Hammurabi Unferth
/ supersnakekick
Connor McKinley as The Lockwarden 😎
/ senilesnake
Takahata101 as Santodes
/ takahata101
/ takahata101
Karl as Random Rogue Trader Custodian
/ kokarorloli
SuperAnchors as Rogal Dorn
/ superanchors
TheLemonGrenade as Custodisi
/ aintyouspecial
Haven Kendrick as Karstodes
/ haven_kendrick
Oculus Imperia as the Abducted Chronicler
/ @oculusimperia
ZoranTheBear as Cherubs
/ zoranthebear
/ zoranthebear
The Breath of Spring - bc.unitedstudios.ru/track/the...
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0
creativecommons.org/licenses/b...
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My Patreon:
/ alfabusa
My Ko-Fi:
ko-fi.com/alfabusa
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My Twitter:
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WANT TO SEND SOMETHING? SEND IT HERE:
Bruva Alfabusa
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This video is completely unofficial and is in no way endorsed by Games Workshop Limited. Adeptus Astartes, Blood Angels, Bloodquest, Cadian, Catachan, the Chaos devices, Cityfight, the Chaos logo, Citadel, Citadel Device, Codex, Daemonhunters, Dark Angels, Dark Eldar, 'Eavy Metal, Eldar, Eldar symbol devices, Eye of Terror, Fire Warrior, Forge World, Games Workshop, Games Workshop logo, Genestealer, Golden Demon, Gorkamorka, Great Unclean One, Inquisitor, the Inquisitor logo, the Inquisitor device, Inquisitor:Conspiracies, Keeper of Secrets, Khorne, Kroot, Lord of Change, Necron, Nurgle, Ork, Ork skull devices, Sisters of Battle, Slaanesh, Space Hulk, Space Marine, Space Marine chapters, Space Marine chapter logos, Tau, the Tau caste designations, Tyranid, Tyrannid, Tzeentch, Ultramarines, Warhammer, Warhammer 40k Device, White Dwarf, the White Dwarf logo, and all associated marks, names, races, race insignia, characters, vehicles, locations, units, illustrations and images from the Warhammer 40,000 universe are either ®, TM and/or © Copyright Games Workshop Ltd 2000-2012, variably registered in the UK and other countries around the world. Used without permission. No challenge to their status intended. All Rights Reserved to their respective owners.

[@alfabusa]

Good fact; 31 of this episode's 36 minutes were made entirely within the span of 2019. This is the result of me picking up a new way of going about my work, in a way that is both more effective and more healthy. If I manage to keep it up as I have these past two months, you can expect this year to be the most productive year in this channel's history. I will do my best in making this a reality. The next project I will be working on throughout March will be the next episode of BROTRIP. But I may also release some other more minor stuff between now and the release of that video. Other than that, I _really_ hope you enjoy this episode!

[@queekheadtaker7327]

Bruva Alfabusa good for you old timer fan here just work at a pace you are comfortable with

[@Szoki86]

Emperor bless you, Bruva.

[@maximad5997]

BROOOOOOTRIIIIIIIIIP

[@-sigma1584]

Bruva is the omnissiah confirmed?

[@collinarter2470]

way to go man, love it

[@jackhealy3328]

*H U M O N G O U S T E R M I N A T O R D A D D I E S*

[@Marsproject11]

Santodes would make a good replacement for Custodisi if he is gone forever.

[@borderlands10]

@@Marsproject11: Wasn't Esidisi one of the first Pillar Men to die?

[@louimath5520]

SOMEONE CLIP THAT.

[@borderlands10]

@@louimath5520: There's a lot of clipable scenes in this one.

[@thecaterpillarexpert]

@@borderlands10 basically yes, Esidisi was the first to go, since Santana just turned into stone. I shall Never forget the Esidisi crying scene

[@samuelsafin6564]

"Hey Magnus, you ever heard of wincest?" "DELETE"

[@Eshanas]

Rip custodian m29 to m41

[@jadenprice1463]

@@Eshanas ;_;

[@Tenesfer]

"oh no"

[@ferrusmanus4013]

Rip

[@ahardworker2154]

Just googled it yikes

[@seanr9623]

“The saucy spice boy returns.” “I summon prohibition hammer.” “Prohibitions only ever expand demands!”

[@datkhornedog899]

A 20th Century reference.

[@PhoenixT70]

@@datkhornedog899 It's also a capitalist truism. Ever wonder why we've got an opioid epidemic in spite of our draconian drug laws? Same thing with the very helpfully named Prohibition in the 1920s.

[@SimpleNobody2420]

...He's not wrong.

[@platogkrone7161]

@@SimpleNobody2420 Actually, he is.

[@stingingcashew2321]

"You saved the Imperium?" "Yes, just not in the way we intended" The embodiment of "Task failed successfully"

[@ChaplainPhantasm]

That means the meme will survive up until the 41st millenium!

[@Ribbons0121R121]

you did it, you summed up this entire fucking shitshow of the imperium

[@JunkPhuJP]

We accidently killed Vulkan and Corvus thinks we were at fault. Now thanks to their crusade to "rescue" Terra from us, they have rallied the Catechan Fighters, the Atilan Rough Riders, and the Jopalian Indentured Battalion. Thanks to us!

[@Crusader-Ramos45]

Magnus: Where did we go right?!

[@jasonabernethy99]

Task Failed Successfully could be Magnus' autobiography at this rate,

[@valentin7541]

Jojo and TTS in the same day... MY THERMAL REACTOR IS PULSATING WITH EXCITEMEEENT

[@RDMARTIN18]

JoJo?

[@FloxPepper]

@@RDMARTIN18 Anime, the pillarstodes and the terminator this episode are a reference to it

[@slavma9764]

@@RDMARTIN18 Jojos Bizzar Adventur

[@baker90338]

Gamers talk more specifically part 2’s Santana. Fortunately Karstodes is not as... orbital as his reference.

[@petarknezovic9447]

One of your best episodes!

[@youngarchaeotech189]

“MAKE PEE NIS IN TO ROBOT” SKARBRAND... is frightened...

[@caseyleeshort]

Oi skarbrand ya a git!

[@gabrielaubry1334]

@AfqwaSKARBRAND ALSO HATES PRUDISHNESS! AND HE HATES HIS OWN SELF-CONTRADICTORY HATRED, BUT NOT AS MUCH!

[@NameName2.0]

a majority of this episode is quotable. *HUMONGOUS TERMINATOR DADDIES!*

[@MrGhjkl63]

How does Skarbrand feel about big boy sausage mobiles?

[@1stcaptainraldoron538]

MrGhjkl63 SKARBRAND HAATES BIG BOY SAUSAGE MOBILES!!!

[@hand2957]

"Bikes won't make negotiations easier" "They are Adeptus Mechanicus, it literally WILL"

[@inquisitorsteve1429]

he's right you know

[@Razgriz_01]

I just realized we haven't had a special involving children's card games. Now I see mention of bikes, mechanicus, and a supposed assassination involving Kitten and his host. Next special, Card Games on Speed-bikes.

[@gameoflife9576]

@@Razgriz_01 Card games on motorcycles

[@Asraeks]

True, grav bikes of custodes would make any tech priest mechandrites errect, especially that he later asked "have you brought some cool ancient tech to display"

[@NukaLemonade]

The joke is that a pure Thousand Sons army can't even field bikes.

[@brok56]

Lockwarden proved that the whole "kitten and tau" affair IS CANON

[@patrik9328]

Kyllä

[@democrack113]

@@patrik9328 Oikein.

[@skandermarsit9142]

And I like at 15:12 how he say "what was she THINKING" when he see kitten's body.

[@juliane.mfarias9285]

"WHAT WAS SHE THINKING!?"

[@alessiostribling9927]

NOT FUCKING CANON

[@ZoranTheBear]

Alfa beats me up to do the baby cry :C

[@alfabusa]

Literally beat you up until the baby cry came out. Then I brought forth a vial and filled it with the inexplicibly liquid audio for my awful experiments.

[@pontiff7322]

@@alfabusa So you secretly were Fabius Bile all along :D

[@professormccoyspopculturer8345]

* Slaps bruve with leather glove* " I do say good sir, that you insult me... It is only heresy to laid a single finger upon my follow wolf brother. And i challenge you to an duel of tollaly awesome lazer sword fencing... unguarded! ( you two are fucking awesome I never laugh so hard in my life. Kept up the good work).

[@NostalgiaChan]

Do not believe either of these men, Zoran is a SADIST who delights in the pain of those forced to experience the hellnoise, MOSTLY ME

[@TheLastVoodooMan]

How so? did he beat you to death, so you could be reborn, cry, JUST TO MAKE A CHERUB CRY HAPPEN? That's some work dedication....

[@ryxtan]

He actually sexualized a Dreadnought the absolute madman!

[@Trooper_No.2102]

M A D L A D

[@Veellinn]

And it was Perfect.

[@ryxtan]

@El Danko A valid point.

[@thegreataggron]

The best part, i just realized its Takahata101

[@tanall5959]

@@thegreataggron Using a variation of his Super Kami Guru voice.

[@twobit96]

Considering the emperor knew that kitten was off to mars, santodes stating his master awakened him.. actually makes sense all things considered.

[@someguy669]

It’s all coming together

[@kaynesylvar8277]

@@someguy669 just. As. Planned.

[@Baldwin-iv445]

By. God.

[@LtLeo]

19:16 are we just going to ignore the fact that this normal ass tour guide just decked a custodian hard enough to knock him over?

[@dragonllig790]

Nice

[@soulofcinder518]

Hes a lost primach

[@mithiwithi]

The "normal ass tour guide" is a psyker at minimum, given that he sensed Magnus' approach. Mind you, that's a long way from being able to smack down a Custodes. Alas, we may never know what, if any, other powers the Tour Guide conceals.

[@SirDankleberry]

It's just Alpharious or Omegon in disguise.

[@fishpop]

@@SirDankleberry Would be funny if true but i dunno if he/they could compress himself/themselves into a body like a normal person.

[@kingofthemonkeypants]

I figured out why Magnus kept insisting on bikes. The Void Dragon obviously plays Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker On Motorcycles

[@woundedzilla1517]

In other words “takes deep breath” CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES

[@josecolon2717]

Woundidzilla 15 1 if it is his favorite then that is yet another reason I like him

[@fumarc4501]

Card games on motorcycles?

[@Tucher97]

@@fumarc4501 yes, I know the card game name but I dont know how to spell it out, but yes, I think it went from a statium/school setting where there was a thing that is helda t hte forearms and that is used while another maybe much later has motor cycles

[@lumberluc]

Don't introduce Khan to this one... He'll make it into a fap session than a game session.

[@esoopthederp7672]

"Remember how soul fusion is a thing that can occur?" ~ Magnus the red, son of the Emperor "Of course I can, you shit" ~ The emperor, being of a thousand fused souls.

[@sunniestbro1064]

Pretty sure it’s just 40

[@lordtoademort8124]

I thought it was like 20

[@Abdega]

He does soul bindings every day, (some of them consumed in the process)

[@aceriverpirate9795]

@@Abdega against his will~

[@TravelerZ24]

By "fused souls" I think they mean the original shamans that joined together to make the Emperor

[@NateVHVT]

“LITTLE KITTEN, YOU MUST SQUAT MORE FREQUENTLY.” Line of the episode.

[@joaquincobas2223]

The whole Blood Raven chef argument is the line of the episode

[@yanosik5665]

I prefer "Magnus has the properties of a cock"

[@Dunkster74]

false, MAKE PEE-NIS INTO RO BOT.

[@crowgeddon8770]

Nah it's the wincest thing

[@ChaplainPhantasm]

Or... "Wearing slick, black, gold trimmed Allarus Terminator Armor is just as errogenous as wearing...Nothing at all. 😎" Or it's just me.

[@FiendMatadorSlayerOfNoobs]

The heated arguement between Magnus and Kitten almost makes me worried that the voice actors actually hate each other. It's that bloody good.

[@mcapollodiomedes3620]

Do you know if he still wants his sandwich?

[@raipe125]

Zegram is a passion man... Been right is always relevant

[@AuriofTheHooligans]

@@mcapollodiomedes3620 Probably forgot about it because they spent too long arguing about whether scones are cakes or sandwiches

[@moodyowlproductions4287]

@@mcapollodiomedes3620 Magnus the red"YES"!

[@moodyowlproductions4287]

Errr..just tell them to fuck and get it over with

[@DaimoHope]

Santodes: I am hilarious and you will quote everything I say

[@Peptuck]

MY MASTER AWAKENED MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[@baker90338]

DaimoMusic ALL HAIL -SANTANA- *_SANTODES_*

[@boxtank5288]

@@baker90338 Way better than Sanvientodes.

[@kabob0077]

*Girly Stroheim scream*

[@NameName2.0]

Hehehehehe

[@Manfromthenorth0551]

The excitement and joy in Dorn's voice when he hears that 2 of his brothers are alive and coming home is so sweet. Dorn is a good brother. Dense as a black hole, but good.

[@BurritoPirateXO]

Black holes are far more denser than myself.

[@rustkarl]

Dorn The way you say that is “more dense” obviously

[@finnheisenheim8274]

I wonder if dorn participated in the iron cage because he didn't want to hurt perturabo's feelings.

[@drbeard4505]

Dorn making a little dig at the Emperor's parenting methods was kind of unexpected too.

[@godkid8059]

@@BurritoPirateXO did you know that Perturabo digs holes?

[@TheLostWill]

Magnus: Woah! Hold on! Why aren't all of them naked? Kitten: I'm sorry to report but not all custodes stopped wearing their armor Magnus: That's.... *DISAPPOINTING*

[@jagnestormskull3178]

_Said everyone on the release of Codex: Adeptus Custodes_

[@ChaplainPhantasm]

*"AGREED! FAILURES, ALL OF YOU!"*

[@krieg8943]

“We’re going to revive father!” Kitten: *immediately turns around* TELL ME WHAT TO DO

[@mcapollodiomedes3620]

He needa to - MAKE PE NIS INTO ROBOT 6:32

[@majesticed9329]

"Hey Magnus have you ever heard about Wincest?" "DELETE!!"

[@arttu7354]

Oh no

[@jgmaurer31]

The only proper reply.

[@izzdin6228]

When cease & desist doesn't work

[@robopope7584]

Izz Din CEASE AND DECEASE

[@izzdin6228]

@@robopope7584 WHY ARE WE TALKING IN CAPITAL LETTERS?

[@god-of-a-new-world7786]

One son is half Orc One son is half Daemon and one has an eldar GF

[@magnustheredxv]

Another had a Tau girlfriend, but she broke up with him.

[@klebermarchand]

@@magnustheredxv THAT'S NOT CANNON !

[@merrittanimation7721]

@@magnustheredxv Continue with that talk and we're strapping you a rock again.

[@dawatchng]

Wait, which one has a eldar gf?

[@barrybend7189]

@@dawatchng Guilliman.

[@tenacityxl]

Theory: I think that Magnus’ constant failure is a product of him being so closely tied to Tzneetch. The change god fucks with the results of his actions so that he ultimately fails at his intended goal. So, by this logic, since Kitten isn’t directly with Magnus, I think that he will ultimately succeed in retrieving the Proteus Protocol from Mars.

[@xzenitramx666]

Maybe, but I smell a los of deaths in his misión.

[@TheNemesis432]

@Tin Watchman Truer words have never been spoken. Emperor is a massive failure, a fact he himself admitted. But to be fair it's really hard not to fail when you're playing 5D chess against Chaos Undivided.

[@Siegberg91]

you forgot that mini magnus is attached to kitten

[@LegalEliminator]

i think we'll find that the void dragon might have a great deal to do with the protocol. kitten and his crew have bitten off more than they could have ever known.

[@SanAntonioJoker]

kitten has his soul

[@jessegd6306]

In hindsight, bikes REALLY would've helped Kitten move from the ship's parking space to the mechanicus facility much faster than just by walking, and helped persuade the Skitarii to let them in due to having fancy Custodian-grade bikes to worship, AND allowed the potential to have CARDGAMES ON MOTORCYCLES.

[@williamaldred335]

Yes but it seems to be only Magnus that has access to Handtraps so just don't duel him and all should be good.

[@filwilliamson9149]

Wait, what is the whole joke about card games on motorcycles?

[@jessegd6306]

The joke is that one of the Yu-Gi-Oh seasons featured motorcycle races combined with monster duels. Never seen it personally but it's been half-mocked for the rediculousness of, well, card games on motorcycles. A big ol' meme.

[@filwilliamson9149]

@@jessegd6306 I see

[@imapopo2924]

@@jessegd6306 Yugioh 5Ds. The concept is ludicrous, but it was a good show. Actually had a pretty strong cast of characters.

[@Saeronor]

Magnus: We haven't been gone for *that* long, y'know. Kitten: What. KZbin audience: *LITERALLY WHAT*

[@MRDLT00]

@manifestation of Gudako's insanity Those references are so hilarious in how vague and yet precise they are. XD

[@paininthebum7843]

@manifestation of Gudako's insanity Berserk is just one big hiatus at this point, Miura is too busy playing idolmaster to draw.

[@lacarthcinclair5401]

Reminds me of an old flash game series, where one of them ended with the main character gaining magical powers, killing his evil self from the future, and then jumping through a portal. Then a many-year hiatus happened. The next game started with him jumping out of the other side of the portal and proclaiming, "I got through! And only after three year- Seconds! Only after three seconds!"

[@zohess9419]

@@lacarthcinclair5401 whats this game? Ive never heard of it. Is the mechanicus behind its mystery?

[@ineednochannelyoutube5384]

Fifth degrees warp fuckery.

[@roys.1889]

"One is Half-Demon and the other Half-Ork. What a terrible way to get an extended family." Wait until Big E finds out who Rowboat Guilliman's been dating...

[@SMAXZO]

Then again, Big E's Gateway project was for him to tap Eldar ass..

[@OmniGSage]

@@SMAXZO "like f$&%ing father, like f$&%ing son."

[@justinchalifoux4424]

Why does every make comments about guilleman and elder? Am I missing something?

[@roys.1889]

@@justinchalifoux4424 You might be yes. Look up the Psychic Awakening and Yvraine, you'll be up to speed.

[@angryspacemarine1045]

So you have four of the most important people in his life have relationships with xenos, you got the chicken, the so friendly its deadly, Gurlyman, and the sun cat. *Like father, like son.*

[@dextro1179]

Rogal actually showing emotion when he finds out 2 of his brothers are alive is just so wholesome.

[@paulangelopineda2534]

for a primarch who is as blunt and logical as he is, he is very emotional

[@Zakanuva]

"I expect them back within a month... so five years real-time." *_(Mournful music from the not-too-distant future plays)_*

[@elduquecaradura1468]

oh, I didn't noticed that joke made from the Emperor about the series

[@vaser-rf6lz]

It’s been 5 years fellas the time has come

[@OOOOOOOOOOOOO69]

@@vaser-rf6lz finally!

[@helghastslayah1367]

In the 32nd Millennium...VULKAN EXISTED.

[@sr.favopossodeixarvaziosim4595]

Once upon a time... Vulkan was him

[@cyreni9756]

"And I... was *me*."

[@falseprophet1415]

Emps: DAMN IT ROGAL!!

[@khamankhoma8232]

Sanguinius has wings: Emperor: "Don't you talk smack about my precious Hawk boy!" Magnus has wings: Emperor: [chicken jokes]

[@PumpkinHoard]

Magnus may have wings, but he's far from fabulous. Hawk Boy was by far the closest to the Emperors vision for the future of humanity. You know, the one where all humans are like the Emperor of old with perfect abs, the most fabulous hair imaginable and op psychic powers....

[@Abdega]

@NorfookianJesus Basically the “Glorious PC Master Race” artwork

[@Reddotzebra]

He should have been the one to lead the crusade after all. He's got Horus's endorsement! =p

[@matteodelgallo1983]

@@Abdega Pretty sure *that* is where the PCMR artwork comes from

[@mencheperra3916]

Magnus: I HAVE NIPPLES ON MY HEAD?!

[@1forthepriceof218]

Only after two years did I notice the “warboss” Horus threw was a wulfen. Uh, I mean a digganob.

[@aceriverpirate9795]

DIGGANOBZ!

[@mcapollodiomedes3620]

@@aceriverpirate9795 umm with fair due respect chapter master but prety sure those are wul-

[@aceriverpirate9795]

@@mcapollodiomedes3620 FOOL! BEHOLD!

[@mcapollodiomedes3620]

@@aceriverpirate9795 those are greenskins chapter mast-

[@brotherhoodofsteel4751]

@@mcapollodiomedes3620 GOOD

[@that1connor583]

"First of, are we cool now?" *Cuts to ad of a building getting demolished in "Magic: The Gathering" universe, skips ad* "[retinens white noise]" ... I think I just saw into the mind of Captain-General Kitten for a second...

[@navysealinguardiantank2679]

😂🤣

[@ALJ9000]

The only time I think ads are alright

[@FuryXDMGS]

*Original, well-structured joke* Magnus: ~_~ *"Perturabo with a shovel"* Magnus: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE

[@wu1ming9shi]

I wanna believe that was part improv. XD

[@ZeroCanalX]

@@wu1ming9shi It was, that's why subs say its genuine laugther.

[@frankeast947]

Could you explain the shovel joke?

[@olenickel6013]

@@frankeast947 Perturabo digs holes. It's a double-entendre, since "to dig" can also be used in the sense of "to like". And what kind of holes could Perturabo like, now?

[@frankeast947]

@@olenickel6013 Ahhhhhhh thank you!

[@maxkennedy8075]

the virgin “this gets me harder than terminator armour” vs the chad “MY THERMIC REACTOR IS PULSING WITH EXCITEMENT”

[@matics453]

I will use both

[@awittyusernamepleaselaugh7481]

But what about "MAKE PEE-NIS INTO RO-BOT!"

[@jocosesonata]

That's beyond Chad levels. What shall we call it?

[@tobiaslinden8769]

@@jocosesonata chaddius maximum?

[@casimirojulianangelo4804]

@@tobiaslinden8769 2nd the motion

[@NunyaBuisness978]

Does anyone else remember that Brother Santodes was the Custodian who threw himself between The Emperor and Horus in nothing but his underwear to prove that he had as much balls as Ollanius?

[@elduquecaradura1468]

I don't know if that's cannon, or Alphabusa work and that's marvelous

[@ShineDark]

After seeing Kitten and Magnus just chilling like that in that one little piece of art, I now wish to see so much more art of those two being adorable little half-brothers.

[@protoss14]

Hey Magnus you ever hear of 'wincest' Emp: DELETE My sides!

[@malfuller3367]

He was Shadow Realmed. 😂

[@rexlumontad8078]

Roko I hope he is okay.

[@Jsay18]

ohno

[@Warhamer116]

((D E L E T E))

[@chewyuanqiang]

If he does come back I am imagining an UNDO button, a trip to the RECYCLE BIN or a BACKUP DRIVE for some reason.

[@JhoTerra]

For some reason that bloke randomly in the throne room is one of my favorite characters ever introduced in the series.

[@TheOmegagoldfish]

Chronicler first appeared in Special Number 5, describing the Dark Eldar's arsenal. His mind is glass pane that is shattering, and no fortress. It is an open field ravaged by internecine conflict and chicken.

[@barrybend7189]

That and 40K theories guy.

[@Discotekh_Dynasty]

He has a channel called oculus Imperia- it’s really good!

[@magnustheredxv]

@@TheOmegagoldfish The Drukhari arsenal was last episode, though, not Special 5.

[@finnheisenheim8274]

Normals are a rare sight in this series.

[@Hal0_The_Synth]

"WE ARE GOING TO REVIVE FATHER!!" *gmod metal spazzing*

[@awesome7067]

"I expect them back in five years real time." Well, we're waiting.

[@anangryninja2824]

Magnus: Father? Emperor: Son Rogal: Brother Magnus: Brother Stripper: Hot Stuff!! Magnus: What? Emperor: *CURTAILMENT*

[@shadowstrider8295]

OOFF! Continue.

[@RangerTheCEOofsx]

Shadow Strider *Banhammer uppercut*

[@redmoon383]

@@RangerTheCEOofsx *Prohibition hammer*

[@UncleAsmos2005]

@@redmoon383 -splat- AAAGHHH *PROCEED*

[@jimmyjumpcutdown1158]

Magnus: Father, I have returned. Emperor: With Chicken Wings.

[@Warricane]

"I am MANY years old" is the most AGGRESSIVELY light way to accurately describe a Primarch's age

[@drdeath3918]

-“Hey Magnus have you heard of wincest-“ *DELETE* I’m so dead lmao

[@operatorchakkoty4257]

So is he.

[@deniz6358]

What did he meant with "w" in "wincest"? I am asking because it bothers me not able to get the joke

[@ae3qe27u3]

​@@deniz6358ahhhhhh it's a reference to the Supernatural TV series, I think. Some fans ship the two main characters (who are brothers) together. Since their last name is "Winchester," people made an acronym for it. I think it's nasty, but... people write what they will

[@deniz6358]

@@ae3qe27u3 thank you for taking time to answer my question ✌️

[@ae3qe27u3]

@@deniz6358 Ye! Happy to do so It's interesting to see that Emps is okay(ish) leaving the Custodes to their... stuff, but the moment one of them tries to bring in the Primarchs, removed. I used to watch the TV show back in the day, and the shippers got to a point where they actually referenced it in the show (in-world, there's a book series written by a psychic* about their shenanigans, it gets popular) ("They know we're brothers, right?"/"Doesn't seem to matter to them"/[disgusted expression]) * technically a prophet (plus some other stuff), but baaasically a holy psychic

[@Synthonym]

10:20 I love how they kept Zegram's legit laughter in, because it's exactly the sort of quip Magnus would find hilarious

[@AragornRespecter]

Kitten’s genuine concern OBLITERATED by Magnus with FACTS AND LOGIC!

[@VioletDeathRei]

Vulkan Lives! *Stomp* *Stomp*

[@DrJReefer]

@@VioletDeathRei WHAT?

[@fumarc4501]

ADVENTURE!

[@Dude_Nice]

ok, this is epic

[@baker90338]

Pyrus I believe I have found Magnus other favorite writer. Beniajam shapierio

[@Haloister]

*Goes to page 19 of Deathworld* Well I'll be damned.

[@clothar23]

I know right , my world view has been shattered.

[@joshuaking9408]

4th Dimensional Warp Fuckery at it's finest.

[@Haloister]

@@clothar23 More surprised Karstodes can read, honestly.

[@fumarc4501]

Progress!

[@xx_halkon_xx8936]

@@fumarc4501 dude you also see this series, i saw some of your coments on the templin institute mini series

[@AnIdiotsLantern]

I love how Kitten and Magnus will fight with claws out, screaming about being right over tiny details that don’t matter, until the very instant that something that bothers BOTH of them comes up and then the two of them divert to complain about the new thing. This is why their friendship works so well. It’s heartwarming.

[@terrorcop101]

"I summon Prohibition Hammer." Also, has anyone noticed that the Emperor's been using the phrase "just as planned" or similar a lot in the past few videos? Are we sure we haven't been listening to Tzeentch this whole time?

[@mithiwithi]

Anytime Tzeentch comes into the narrative, things are.. complicated. Tzeentch may actually have been _helping_ the Emperor put a leash on Chaos just because the Emperor's devious plans are so deviously awesome that Tzeentch can't help but be enthralled by them and want them to succeed.

[@RecoveringLoLAddict]

RIP Custodisi M29-M42 He was to erogenous for this world

[@Thoran666]

And he reminded us of Wincest. May he be forever tortured by Tzeentch.

[@ottoleois9323]

@@Thoran666 Worse, Let the Clown have his way with him.

[@Willqer]

TTS wiki The Fabulous Custodes article says, that "... the Emperor psychically banished him from the throne room". If this is true, then ekhem: *STOMP STOMP* CUSTODISI LIVES!

[@barrybend7189]

@@Willqer He's in the oil room.

[@Sapheiorus]

It's a shame. He was the most intellectually pliable (and bold) during the podcasts... got around to even calling the Emperor "an asshole" in response to his figurative teabagging of the last church. He had finally come into his own as a real character. There was hope that he could be a force of ACTUAL good rather than another Imperial sock puppet like Karstodes.

[@SpoonieMcspoonington]

Brother Santodes filled me with so much joy the moment he appeared in golden musical splendor tears flew down my face and my eyes were wide with amazement, How you thought to make a fabulous contemptor dreadnaught which is the best dreadnaught pattern ever is beyond inspired.

[@unluckyone1655]

I admit, I swooned

[@matics453]

SPOILERS :) 12:55

[@themagicalspacepapa3109]

I had a little girl scream when he said I was awakened by my master

[@JohannesBGoode]

I was watching this in my bed on my TV and I fucking fell out of bed when I saw that

[@matematulji]

It's even better when you find out he's voiced by the guy who does Cell from DBZ Abridged and Alucard from Hellsing Abridged

[@basicbod4205]

18:46 "...Who is riding him?" The uncomfortable fear in the custodes voice brings me to tears

[@Wolf-Nyan]

“by my VICIOUSLY SLATHERED FORESKIN” Jesus f^cking Christ I was not ready for that xз

[@aceriverpirate9795]

You see, it's those little in-between-the-lines things that show Slaaneshi influence.

[@Demonllie14]

I died

[@alphawolf5278]

Made me wheeze so hard I legit almost suffocated

[@Damionscool]

"Oil spills are FAR TO ABUNDANT IN THIS PALACE!" "There is passive aggression in the air!" "ITS NOT A PASSIVE AS YOU'D LIKE TO BELIEVE SANTODES!!" Laughing for a straight minute.

[@Elenrai]

Honestly, we all want to see kitten kick the living shit out of his misbehaving subordinates...seriously, they need some good old fashioned decimation!

[@meitynajoan5553]

Holy shit a Pillar Dreadnought

[@magnustheredxv]

A Pillarnought?

[@arthurvaniseghem3704]

@@magnustheredxv I suspect he does a fair bit of pillaring

[@barrybend7189]

Its Karstoades.

[@olivierluisin1790]

AYAYAYAYAAAAAA!

[@Arthanias]

Dreadstodes

[@mattroxursoul]

Little Kitten and Magnus are best buddies for life it seems. Kinda reaffirms it when Rogal is explaining what the Fabstodes did to take over the role of caretaker. He does seem genuine in his displeasure for how mean they were to his friend.

[@avocadotoast6369]

I love the genuine hints of excitement in Rogal Dorn's voice upon hearing his brothers are alive and have returned, it's a very powerful moment given his normal composure and monotone voice. It's all the little things..

[@stompchunkman4248]

I really love how Rogal Dorn sounds legitimately happy and surprised at hearing the news about Corvus and Vulkan being alive. He's not jumping or anything, but considering he's Dorn, he must be stoked.

[@elijahgrimm8052]

It was his voice, it wasn't the same monotone. He sounded surprised and....happy.

[@robertnelson9599]

@@elijahgrimm8052 Dorn does not show his emotions, but he still has them.

[@elijahgrimm8052]

Can we be sure about that?

[@PanzerPlant]

Robert Nelson And when he *does* show them, he *really* shows them, in his own way.

[@aceofspadesguy4913]

As monotone as Rogal always is that little bit of inflection in his voice is like a normal person screaming with excitement.

[@MilkoAritonoski]

I am yet to be convinced this isn't the best original video series on KZbin. How on Terra can you improve them over and over again Alfa, it is just... wow.

[@mike-fr2vf]

Truly amazing. So much love and effort put into this..

[@slothfulcobra]

I'd say it's also the most original kind of video series on youtube. It's like red vs blue head bobbing but with elaborately painted images. Kitten's bobbing ends up making him wiggle like a banana

[@lordmalecith2300]

When Magnus said "If the pontoons on that thing were protruding upwards it, it'd look like a big boy sausage mobile" at 12:04 I _fucking _*_died_* of laughter.

[@saipranavpalla1467]

The gyrfalcon jetbike looks like a sausage bike

[@surimonizarro9791]

"WE ARE GOING TO REVIVE FATHER!" *Half life collision noises* I'm fucking dying from this show XD

[@Big_E_Soul_Fragment]

Came so fast the White Scars recruited me.

[@BW-CZ]

Are you sure it wasn't the Emperor's Children? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@VioletEverlasting]

Wow they recruited a part of my soul

[@mr.dinklemen2445]

Ohhh my Emperor; seems like someone got a little bit too excited, shall I call the Custodes to "ASSIST" you?

[@VioletEverlasting]

@@mr.dinklemen2445 i think im gonna send you to the Dark Eldar

[@pheonixflame1568]

And your girlfriend left you 😎

[@iconoclast7284]

Calling it now, Kitten is going to talk to the Void Dragon, and maybe defeat him in a children's card game.

[@thisisanalt]

THIS

[@superanimeniac]

On a motorcycle

[@TheSpearkan]

I disagree, I think Cypher awakens the "machine-man" as part of Eldrads plan, starting a tabletop battle between aforementioned machine man and Kittens custodians Ep. 26 Pt. 1-style

[@Nekromant1c]

@@superanimeniac but he didn't take a bike!

[@superanimeniac]

@@Nekromant1c he didn't take a deck either.

[@witchBoi_Connor]

Scones are neither bread nor cake, but a “quick bread”, or, as I would refer to it but a Brit would slap me for, a biscuit. Cake is defined by being baked from a batter that rises from chemical leavening, bread is defined by being made by a yeasted dough. Scones use chemical leavening like cake, but are a dough, not a batter, much like American biscuits are. Scones are, however, supposed to be sweet, and I’ll fight on that one.

[@HoodedLord]

NEERRRRRRRD

[@eva2602]

pastry

[@TheHateCorp]

If they're SUPPOSED to be sweet, why isn't sugar an ingredient?

[@TheHateCorp]

@@HoodedLord Edgelord. Personally, I'd prefer being a nerd.

[@HoodedLord]

@@TheHateCorp Haha as do I, but there is entertainment to be found in being an edgelord on the odd occasion, especially if you can get everyone around you to look in horror and confusion, like using buzzwords in the wrong way just to torture people.

[@mandridhugh9555]

"I expect them home in 5 years real time" well with one year to go who knows what could happen.

[@LtDavidB312]

Hope springs eternal.

[@voidwalkerbruh7426]

5 months

[@javiergallardojr9048]

I'm in class right now, Alfa... *BRUVA, I AM PINNED HERE!*

[@LANSl0t]

SAME BUT IDGAF

[@javiergallardojr9048]

Post-Class-Script; I just suffered through the horrid wi-fi of my computer class (that I've BEEN failing) to watch this episode in its entirety. Know my pain, Alfabusa. Also know that I treasure every moment of every second you upload.

[@danielgarza1209]

Indeed brother. But the Emperor Protects. Praise be to SafeShare.Tv, for through it, we receive the glories of the Man-Emperors Text to Speech device!!!

[@HylianDefender]

*Damn...*

[@Trust751]

Calling it now: Kitten is going to regret not taking bikes

[@barrybend7189]

But the emissaries will guilt trip the Mechanicus into giving kitten and his band the best bikes available.

[@Trust751]

@@barrybend7189 Only if they have toasters to trade

[@ericboutet5315]

He will have to play Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth-Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker on motorcycle against the Void dragon

[@Abdega]

@Eric Boutet What does he get if we wins?

[@lonewanderer1328]

Abdega instructions of the resurrection cheat code and how to use it.

[@marialarson1711]

People are surprised that Marckus and Kitten are together in Hunters... when Kitten and Magnus travel by cuddling in the original.

[@pablo-rv7tp]

I died at *"MAKE **_PEE_** NIS INTO ROBOT"*

[@dumpygrimbo8623]

The real hero of the series is the random soldier who runs away every episode

[@allankanegalian6401]

Poor guy is probably lost in that fuck huge of a castle.

[@ferbthe2gadgetguy]

@@allankanegalian6401 The Imperial Palace is actually the size of a continent. And seeing as Terra has no water anymore...

[@Fighterpilot555]

@@allankanegalian6401 No. The Imperial Palace is not "fuck huge". It is Fuckhueg

[@kishinasura1504]

He was probably killed by Gold Experience Requiem like, 38000 years ago and he is still experiencing dead.

[@santasalligators]

What the hell was that wired wind-up heresy...?

[@CrystahlK]

I’ve only just realised why there is a washing machine in Kitten’s office. Cats are known for watching said machines in action.

[@magnustheredxv]

They do?

[@coriusfarinprimarchofthese7007]

@@magnustheredxv Hello brother. Yes, those pesky feline beast do like to watch those machines go.

[@magnustheredxv]

@@coriusfarinprimarchofthese7007 What the? How are you here?

[@rogaldorn4759]

@@coriusfarinprimarchofthese7007 Preposterous! You are not canon. Leave this existence, before father himself turns you into an arco-flagellant.

[@coriusfarinprimarchofthese7007]

@@rogaldorn4759 Will father mot be overjoyed to see me again? I have been gone for so very long...

[@vsGoliath96]

"Tell us of these plans you have hatched." *"HUURGH!"*

[@mcapollodiomedes3620]

Well the emprah aint that cocky but father... quite ltterally Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey

[@BirchMonkey857]

"Being right is always relevant" is my approach to conversations.

[@Psychogroundparty]

"My mind is no fortress! It is an open pasture ravaged by internecine conflict! And chicken." Best quote of 2019 so far

[@dr.bennett7971]

I love how magnus keeps blood raven's around him, he knows that they are his sons

[@atom_bomb_77]

I thought the “Thousand Sons” were his kids?

[@flyingplatypus7272]

@@atom_bomb_77 there's a theory that the Ravens are from thousand sons geneseed

[@chandlerwatson1379]

They do have more psykers then other chapters so it wouldn't be that far fetched

[@CafeLiquerstreams]

@@chandlerwatson1379 Ahriman also said 'we used to wear the red of our primarch like you' they're prone to mutation (Flesh change) and the inquisition keeps a REALLY close eye on them and chapter master Gabriel Angelos knows the truth about the blood ravens but says itd break the chapter again

[@aceriverpirate9795]

It's a theory; a good theory admittedly and would be a comparable heresy to the whole "Fallen" and Dark Angels stories, but nonetheless, a theory.

[@ciaranmcguinness8900]

32:20 "By my VICIOUSLY SLATHERED FORESKIN" Had me absolutely dying, in fact most of the Custodes' antics made me roll around with laughter

[@kb3164]

It took me over a year to realize that each of the Ork names they us as examples are describing the characters that say them.

[@Fr33zy159]

"i 'M G H O O O S E" I'm dead.

[@fishpop]

@Aeoneth Thanks. MiniMagnus is funny but let's hope he doesn't outstay his welcome.

[@rustyzipper19]

*MEeEeEeeEeeEeEeEEE*

[@Abdega]

Is he going to be like Chazz’s Ojama from Yu Gi Oh?

[@giantturtlecat2959]

Now You’re Ghooooooossseeeee

[@centristcommisar7828]

Fr33zy159 I died too. “ NOW I’M GHOOOOOOOOSE TOOOOOOOO!!!!”

[@scrombat]

The chronicler is terrifying: He just casually knocks over a 10ft muscle bound superhuman with just his elbow.

[@ExtreamGaming100]

Wuwwhat is a normal doing here

[@ISAFSoldier]

@@ExtreamGaming100 :: SMACK ::

[@mightykanohii]

Madness is power in 40K. Remember Kaldor Draigo.

[@Statusinator]

The custodian probably just slipped on his body oil.

[@jeffmusyoka1876]

I thought its the sigillite 🤓

[@samrussell9264]

" Father " " Son " " Brother " " Brother " " Hot Stuff " Why I keep coming back...

[@2A_W3ND1G0]

" C U R T A I L M E N T "

[@Victor-056]

@@2A_W3ND1G0 You forgot the "What?" From Magnus.

[@aceriverpirate9795]

@@Victor-056 unfortunate. I will fortify this position.

[@Firepup740]

" Curtailment "

[@Marcusaralius76]

I heard the theme, I immediately got excited. Seeing Brother Santodes for the first time was the greatest thing I've ever seen.

[@andrewarnold2450]

The two helmetless space marines that follow Kitten around are the best things in this series since the Emperor himself. "OGRYNS?!?"

[@TheHateCorp]

Boreale and Diomedes are even older than the TTS series, I think. Iirc they were a part of his first community project...

[@TroloGame2]

All Custodes so far refer to the Emperor as ''my Master". Thus,when Santodes said ''MY MASTER AWAKENED MEEE" could mean that the Emperor predicted Mangus's plan and awakened Santodes just in time when Kitten would require *brawn*. Also,taken out of context,the Emperor also said in The Black Templar voxcast that he will send his Custodes as his ''eyes and ears'', also meaning that Santodes might be actually spying ,in this trip to Mars, Kitten and his Gang's actions.

[@louisarius9672]

Magnus: Aww........sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssshit.

[@larrychilders6599]

Wamooo

[@Abdega]

Emperor: I heard them yelling all the way from the throne room, Not 100% sure about what, but it sounded like they needed muscle

[@austinbutcher8106]

Brother santodies...convince them

[@Kareszkoma]

Oh no. That would also mean that Kitten was sent to supervise, spy on Magnus. Now he is doing his own thing, he is being spied on. Just like the Inquisition and Officio Assassinorum. Damn. Emps have no chill.

[@dinodude6992]

19:17 A normie casually elbows a custodes This is one of the reasons I love this series

[@greggolding7627]

The Mini Magnus part reminded me of some RPG video games I played. I played a lot of games. I like the thinking for the creativity of this episode.

[@johnsandoval1246]

Man, that frightened Guardsman really gets around.

[@Matihood1]

ikr. He pops up everywhere. Who is he?

[@CryingZombie666]

@Mati Hooti Pius, who else?

[@Matihood1]

StygianTraveler141 But... he was obliterated by Horus, no? I know he was a perpetual but I thought that according to the canon, Horus destroyed him. Oh well, if he's alive then that's great!

[@CryingZombie666]

@Mati Hooti T'is ain't canon, son. Now where's that glass of mucus cocktail? So fucking thirsty- Oh, lest I forget, give the Corpse-Emperor my regards for me ;)

[@jnb_110]

StygianTraveler141 That frightened guardsman wasnt Pious and Pious getting between the Emperor and Horus is still canon to me. Perhaps I should send you to a totally-safe and not-a-labor-camp feral world to give you good information.

[@mouseprotector5081]

"I dont think Bikes will make arguing policy any easier" "Your argueing with the Adeptus Mechanicus. it literally will" yeah that seems accurate.

[@Christoffer750]

politics on motorcycles

[@fishpop]

They're big gearheads, literally AND figuratively so having some mechanical marvels will get them off massively.

[@ShadowNetWeaver1]

I bet 100 Thrones that it's going to involve a children's card game. 5D's

[@Sorakeyblademaster37]

They should’ve brought toasters.

[@noahf8752]

Me: Santodes sounds a lot like Guru from DBZA *Sees Takahata playing as Santodes* Me: Yeah that’s about right

[@daelnelbel]

I AM HILARIOUS, AND YOU WILL QUOTE EVERYTHING I SAY!

[@hydra70]

Kitten: "Only a primarch can kill a primarch" Magnus: "Curze was killed by a non-primarch" Kitten: "How is that relevant?"

[@Oliolli3]

People aren't giving the Chronicler enough credit for PUNCHING OUT A CUSTODIAN.

[@magnustheredxv]

Is that physically possible for them?

[@DanteTheDemon7]

It’s one of the best parts of the episode, the custodies reaction to him and then just getting bitch slapped is great. Hope we see more of him Also how the fuck did he SENSE Magnus?!?!???

[@shamrocksardonic2582]

He has been driven mad by the warp. He can taste his presence with his eyeballs.

[@mouseprotector5081]

the chronicler is like one of my new favkrite characters. just the fact that theres just the random normal amongst primarcha custodes and the emporeror and hes just slowing being driven insane. its hilarious.

[@Oliolli3]

@@mouseprotector5081 Boy is still better, though.

[@sd501st5]

*sees notification for a new TTS Episode* *spits out the coffee and drops everything else to watch* ... *cries in 360p*

[@kontrol42]

SD501st *No cost too great.*

[@captainjackloco]

REWATCH FOR THESE ARE HOLY SCRIPTURES

[@christopherg2347]

It is avalible in HD quality. Processing/re-encoding does not take long with such a Video.

[@alphariusomegon4442]

My Eyes!! Also kinda sad the Blood Ravens didn't get there reunion with Magnus.

[@javiergallardojr9048]

*REJOICING IN HOME LAPTOP 1080P*

[@TexMeta]

This episode cemented Magnus as my favorite TTS character.

[@ineverexist666]

Magnus: -one forth Calculated -one fourth cuddly -two forth bane of all spines The strange guy: My spine has shattered upon the very concept.

[@simonscience5846]

I love how Dorn's monologues allways start with "______ existed"

[@gideonmele1556]

Or “I... was me”

[@austincrisp9829]

My favorite line: Lockwarden:"Look, let's be _real_ , wearing slick, black, gold-trimmed Allarus Terminator armor can be _just_ as erogenous as wearing nothing at all. 😎"

[@foxthefox1594]

Mine is “Scones are sandwich breads”

[@thebandofbastards4934]

The adeptus mechanicus agree.

[@samdalton2520]

HUMOUNGOUS TERMINATOR DADDIES

[@thebandofbastards4934]

@@samdalton2520 YES

[@Trajiun]

This is fair

[@sbkMulletMan]

I love that Magnus, a huge devil-bird, is deeply disturbed by the cherubim to the point where he is compelled to just NUKE them straight out of the air. I'm reading an Adepta Sororitas book right now, and every time a cherubim shows up, I can't help but think "Oh, hoh-hoh-hoh, FAWK No!", and it is glorious.

[@MeetYourDarkSide]

Mini Magnus and the ghost of Ferrus Manus always boost my mood, not to mention the reminder that "Perturabo digs holes..."

[@slothfulcobra]

"No I'm not going to tell the whole truth to the emperor" *proceeds to tell the whole truth to the emperor*

[@CryingZombie666]

Well, Big E knew anyway. So would you choose lie over truth, facing that BIG OL' SUPER PSYCHIC SKELETON?

[@148crusader]

Just another on the long list of Magnus' failures.

[@CryingZombie666]

@148crusader At least he tried, unlike Corax shutting himself in his room/quarters after failing to rebuild the Raven Guard.

[@lumberluc]

That was after he was called out on his 'failures' (Glorious they may be)

The Big E: I expect them to be home by next month.... so in 5 years real time me: That is some juicy 4th degree warp fuckery right there

[@Tonatsi]

Definitely warp fuckery if they dont turn on their gellar field

[@aceriverpirate9795]

BUT DID YOU AT ALL TAKE INTO ACCOUNT THE RISKS YOU PUT YOUR COMPANY THROUGH BY ACCEPTING THIS MISSION, *ALONE*, NO LESS, WITH NO BACK-UP WHATSOEVER.

[@Servellion]

Warp travel! Arrive in a week, arrive a millennium later or arrive before you left. And that's *if* you arrive at all.

[@jonathanhamilton6190]

4 more years to go

[@shiluk84]

It took me a year to understand that emperors "incorrect time" was referring to the time in our universe between TTS episodes being made

[@Crusader-Ramos45]

Magnus: We’re going to *revive father*!! [kitten rushes back being convinced] Seems I got your attention. Me when I get excited about something that crossed my path and caught my ears.