If You See THIS, Your Relationship Is Doomed… | The Gottman Doctors

[@TheDiaryOfACEOClips]

📺 Watch the full episode here kzbin.info/www/bejne/fmrOgaCfi5V1aZY&ab_channel=TheDiaryOfACEO

[@mercyln6646]

When christians and the church try to teach these truths, people shut them down, insult, abuse, ignore and even reject it violently. God created us all, and He desires that people live their lives right, get married, have children and obey His commandments. If we all went back to God and stopped fighting against Him, then most of our battles would be null and void or less stressfull. Believe in Jesus and read your Bible, attend Christian talks and bible studies

[@michaeljensen4650]

Why she feels a constant need to interrupt him even when it is not necessary is perplexing. After all these years together she still can’t control herself and her need to dominate the conversation. He looks subdued and resigned to this negative pattern. Why is it always men who need to give up their dignity to maintain a relationship with women.

[@sharondodge49]

As a therapist, I saw so many Christians and church communities resist therapy with Gottman methods. If their pastor or his named Christian cohort branded “Christian “. The church does more harm than good with its patriarchy and authoritarianism.

[@sharondodge49]

@@michaeljensen4650 you do not know their story at all. He is a recovering self absorbed make chauvinist 11:19 . She has to assert the boundary or he is off in his own thing. His passive acceptance of that reminder is a tribute to his recovery! He was the whole show for years and years although she was always a key partner in all the research and work. They have talked about it in conferences. Hope this helps you understand.

[@sharondodge49]

If the church saw the counsel was not advertised or branded Christian and Bible based they were scared of it , or scornful of it and dismissed it.

[@johnevemerton]

Great video, This past few months has been an eye opener for me, the one I love, the one i cherish still Left me, I lost alot of friends because of her, she often said they were bad influence on me, and she still left me, i still love her and that is what hurts the most. Love sometimes is unexplainable and cruel.

[@sherryanderson-y2p]

I feel your pain, Believe me I do, i was in a similar position, he left me, but i couldnt just let him go because i knew i was the cause of it, i chose my work over him and the kids, I didnt want to loose him, so i contacted a spiritual counsellor for advice on how to get him back and to my greatest surprise it worked out, she brought him back to me, and its been over a year and half, i have never been this happy.

[@johnevemerton]

Thank you for this, I know i wasnt alone on this i often sit and think what i will become without her because i have no one else, I think i might just give this a try,how did you get in touch with him/her, if you do not mind me asking.

[@sherryanderson-y2p]

Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@johnevemerton]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

[@F1986R]

If she made you lose friends, then she's probably a narcissist

[@michaelhussey440]

The old guy gets it right at 2.56. Once there is contempt and belittling there is little that can be done.

[@rougebaba3887]

Our marriage had been rocky, to say the least. If I had to diagnose the issues now, it would be quite different from what I was thinking back then. Back then I thought I was the problem. My wife's disrespect and emasculation of me had taken their toll on my self esteem. I so wanted to have a solid marriage for my children's sake. Seeing myself as being the problem, though I couldn't pin point my failures, I would try in any way I could to woo her, to romance her, to make her want me and appreciate me. In April of 2007 her heart issue went haywire, and she was going to need open heart surgery. I saw it as an opportunity to prove myself to her (what a fool I was). I prayed to God to strengthen me,. I determined that I would be there for her no matter what might come. I can honestly say I kept that promise. I served her, I took care of everything through her long recovery... the house, the kids, the bills... I would rub her back for hours. I helped her bathe, wash her hair, dress... I helped her in every way I could think of. By years end she was so much better and stronger. We seldom had sex.. and not because I didn't want it. She blamed her heart for lack of desire. She would lose her breath at times and have to stop. But now her heart was better. She could climb stairs without getting winded at all. We had sex one time that entire year. I didn't complain. I didn't do anything but love her, care for her, be there for her. Christmas was on a Tuesday. The Friday before at my company's Christmas party, my boss called me up in front of everyone, praising my hard work. And he handed me an envelope. Inside were two $100 bills! It was hard for us financially in those days. I was the sole bread winner and it was difficult to buy my wife anything nice... Not to mention that she would know where I bought it from and for how much, since we only had one checking account where all our money went. But she didn't know anything about that $200. I knew exactly what I was going to do... I drove straight to our local jewelry store, and there it was! A $259 gold necklace on sale! I pictured my wife coming into our candlelit bedroom, wearing something sexy, with that necklace on. I bought it! $192 with tax. I spent another $6 to have it wrapped in the nicest paper they offered, with a little bow and a special tag. I put that under our tree and thought to myself, "When she opens this and is surprised I was able to get her something this nice, gushing over it and me, I can tell her that Id live to see her wearing that in something sexy when we ring in 2008 together." Well, Christmas morning came and I watched as she opened it. She lifted the lid, look at it for maybe 1.5 seconds, snapped it shut and just sort of wrist flipped it aside, like one might do with a piece of junk mail. There was no gushing. There was not even a hint of any kind of appreciation whatsoever. There wasn't even a polite, customary thank you. Hell, she didn't even look at me. Her eyes didn't even lift to glance at me at all. Then, after gifts were out of the way, she stepped up to question me... Her: I have a question. Why a necklace?" After the rudeness of it all, I was robbed of what I had wanted to say to her. But even then I shared my heart with her... Me: "I thought it was beautiful and would look great in you, babe." I paid her a compliment. I meant every word of it. I was sharing my heart with her. And she shared hers right back. She let me know how stupid she thought I was, how worthless was my gift to her and how everything I had done for her that whole year meant nothing.... Her: "I had surgery, you know that, right? I have a scar. You can see that, right? I haven't been wearing necklaces right now, so I don't know why you'd do that." Then she just turned and walked away from me.

[@nevilledwalker]

Totally agree - the character assignation that goes with the criticism is like twisting the knife after being stabbed. It’s starts with put downs then progresses into put downs in front of family she doesn’t see it I imagine - it’s subconscious patterns but I don’t have to put up with it I’m so done with it. I have to say also it’s helped me recognise those big patterns that I’ve been allowing myself to be subjected to.

[@GoodDay-ox1el]

People expect too much from each other forgetting that we all just people with our insecurities and imperfections .

[@heiker1351]

Maybe we expect too little from each other. Mutual respect in a partnership is not too much to expect, it is the foundation. Too many excuse the lack of respect as a minor flaw.

[@GoodDay-ox1el]

@@heiker1351 that’s the problem! Everyone has a LIST for the partner and lacking responsibility for their own actions. I am not saying lower your standards. I am saying sweep your side of the street. Nobody is perfect, including you.

[@Maderlololohio]

Lack of humility is also a big one in many people. It shows when a man or woman takes too much advantage of the love and kindness of their partner. Who then grows resentful. Etc.

[@TheWinterfox10]

I'll never forget the time I went on a date with a lady and she actually rolled her eyes when our waiter walked up. I was so taken aback that I convinced myself I hadn't actually seen her do that. Big mistake. The superiority complex on that girl was something else. Lesson learned: don't give people the benefit of the doubt on a first date because first date behavior is what the person thinks is "putting on airs."

[@trishabensonpriesmeyer5044]

I just had a conversation with a 20-year-old yesterday regarding the we all don’t even know HOW to have a good healthy relationship. It’s like we all need to take a class. Wouldn’t it be great if schools actually taught relationship skills throughout our school years!! can you imagine how much better off we would be! but I guess that’s the point they don’t do it…

[@jennyw9656]

Or if schools taught resilience training the army does or emotional intelligence

[@eighteenfiftynine]

How much more must schools be expected to take up the tasks and responsibilities that were once fulfilled by our families, our communities, and our religion? For decades (perhaps even centuries), we have shaken the very foundations of our societies. _This_ is the result.

[@ohdear2275]

Yes! With communication and conflict resolution skills.

[@koolbeans8292]

Yeah, right, leave it up to the schools to teach something that starts in the home. The only students that will learn from classes like that are the empaths !! And besides, where are you going to find the qualified teachers? From the gang of therapists who are 51% narcissistic?

[@__-fl3yt]

I feel like communication and respect will help to build relationships.

[@JETTSTACHI]

Relationships 101 should be part of high schools curriculums.

[@LisaFenton-h7f]

TRUTH! Include communication skills!!!

[@dureen]

I'm glad they mentioned sarcasm, which is the lowest form of humour. In intimate relationships sarcasm/ teasing (not the playful kind) is justified and disguised as banter. Whereas the person passing sarcastic remarks is just enforcing distancing strategies by putting the other person down

[@JohnVanMeter58]

Simp show

[@cmorsley]

A sarcastic reply during an argument is very different from Sarcastic humour which I think can be pretty funny. Depends on the context.

[@rents5667]

@@cmorsley Exactly. Sarcastic humour is really not the lowest form of humour at all. The person who coined that had no sense of humour about themselves.

[@raindances3310]

​@@rents5667Yup! My husband is very sarcastic. It was one of the things that drew me to him. He's so funny!

[@LoveFaithLive]

​@@rents5667According to you. Humour is relative in my experience😮😊🎉

[@katherineb9]

such a blessing to have these wise competent teachers on the planet.

[@Tubinado]

In the same way she said if you haven’t had GOOD therapy, you can’t differentiate between a good or bad relationship, until you’ve listened to good therapists like the Gottmans, you probably can’t tell a good therapist from a bad one. I had decades of nice therapists who just bobbed their heads at everything I said and agreed with it. That was hugely expensive and I now realize, totally unhelpful.

[@Bergziegen35]

I absolutely agree!

[@alexandrodl1371]

DECADES of therapists ? At what point will you ever begin to think 'well, perhaps that therapy thing is BS' ?

[@beaj.h.1017]

You know what the problem is? And I am speaking here from experience- people do not wait long enough before they get married or moving together. And with waiting- I do not mean "waiting while being in the relationship" that's is the second step - The first step is waiting for a person you gonna meet- when you know " it is yours"! It is hard, and most people do not want to wait, then they have no idea how it may looks like if they hadn't meet the good one - they rush with every potential" first better looking good to me" home. But there is no home there, just disapointment after some years of hope after all. So go on "checking out people" until this one day- you noticed everything is different with somebody you just met.. It would not be perfect, no! But you would be able to accept all of his/hers imperfections whatever it may be and it would not bother you at all. Instead, you will start to like/ love them or at least accept to the point you would not noticing them anymore ( and everybody has them! ) On somebody else you would know- you could have never ever stand them out! :-) And you would know in the first half year- this is the one i would like to have around for longer in my life. Then wait again for another year and watch how things unfold. Pls, never waist time on the unworthy! Nothing good would come out of it.. Just waisted time & young years at the end.

[@Tubinado]

@@alexandrodl1371 24 years. I got misdiagnosed with depression as a child, side effects of sedation were mistaken for depression, and the “therapy” came with the pills (which was how it was in the past) which after 24 years, were almost impossible to withdrawal from. It can be very hard to find competent health care providers especially when you’re a child or drugged up.

[@MishaIsha1]

She's a brilliant teacher.

[@mscatnipper2359]

I discovered the Gottman's work far too late, after my physical disabilities caused me to be financially dependent upon my narcissistic husband. It was my illness that triggered his increased criticism and contempt; until then, I was confused why all my attempts to use my decades of learned relationship tools couldn't improve our marriage. I secretly sought the advice of an attorney, who confirmed that I would be financially devastated if I divorced, so I stayed. I was lucky: he died of cancer and I got a renewed chance to enjoy life.

[@Chloelicious11]

Sorry you had to go through that, but am also glad you are better and happier now. ❤

[@monlanc]

What a sad story with a happy ending. Wait, but doesn't your last sentence show that you're just like your dead husband?

[@mscatnipper2359]

@@monlanc I don't understand what you mean. I stayed with an emotionally abusive and financially controlling person in order to have a roof over my head and medical insurance. I never gave him less than 100% commitment to the relationship. I made sure his every wish was fulfilled as he was dying. And then I was free.

[@karinaw977]

@Monlanc, wow hope you never experience emotional and financial abuse. Sounds like you have no compassion.

[@kotenoklelu3471]

Oh! My relatives sometimes tease me. I have schizophrenia. I am hard ball to swallow. No one knows how to behave. Even i don't know. I am trying to grow trust and confidence in myself and then illness come back and it takes it back. But this time I battled with my delusions and hallucinations, I treated them as dreams, associations and it went much better. My relatives started to look at me little bit different when I said I write letters to Congress about the war. They said I can be arrested you can't speak about war in Russia. I don't know what lay ahead. But I kinda gain a little respect for myself when I get a letter that he will represent in Congress. I influenced politician. I did something in this world. I don't know how I influenced him. But still. He clearly have his own ideas about my delusional writings. But he didn't scolded me. He just didn't reacted, it was a change of attitude. Small sign of respect from one person: formal letter that they probably send everyone and I feel so good

[@pg618]

Number one problem is extreme individualism with the breakdown of the family and the extended community wisdom is never passed on as it should be in what I call an intact culture.

[@a.h.5296]

Nailed it

[@Plethorality]

Its not the only problem. Many families stayed intact with very unhealthy dynamics that got passed down. Not wisdom, but bad habits, including violence, addictions, other abuses

[@beaj.h.1017]

exactly! But wait, people started to address this recently more & more, so let see if everybody at least get to understanding this fact. And if the societies can do anything about this change.. ? Modern culture.. is this even possible to change..

[@javadivawithdog]

Still waiting for society to show up with its wisdom 👀

[@Talentedtadpole]

Many families are effectively harmful cults. That is not a solution.

[@simplyblessed7036]

I just got divorced last year after nearly 28 years of marriage due to abuse. I have lost my health the last 14 years and my teeth and am not even 52

[@Valerie-uw5cd]

Who didn’t allow you to take care of your health 😮😢? Isn’t it your responsibility to?

[@Lulubelle560]

It all sounds very difficult! Probably why increasing numbers are opting to stay single.

[@Annie-ZA]

EXTREMELY INTERESTING. I COULD LISTEN TO THIS COUPLE FOR HOURSSSSS!!! 👌👍💪😍

[@selyemperzsa1]

Loved listening to them too.

[@oliviabell9691]

What you both described was *freezing, not stonewalling. Those are 2 VERY different things. Freezing is a fear response, as they said, like fight, flight, or fawn. Stonewalling is a deliberate choice, that is used to abuse and control another person.

[@meganc1539]

It can be both. What’s important is to remember that if someone is consistently withdrawing from a loved one seeking connection, stonewalling does damage whether it is intended to be hurtful or not.

[@rentaleper3816]

@@meganc1539 Yes it does a lot of damage, but you have no control over your body when a freezing response gets triggered. The best you can do is to be open about this response beforehand and talking through it after its over. It's impossible in the moment. Even after i knew what was happening to me, i never could get a single word out no matter how hard i tried- i was always completely paralyzed.

[@kerrymillar1267]

@@meganc1539it can be in response to a partner being abusive.

[@mpro9446]

​@@kerrymillar1267 I feel like ppl are mixed up about what actual stonewalling is. stonewallers are more often than not the abusers... it is another manipulation tactic (can be conscious or subconscious) that narcissists use to ctonrol and manipulate their victims. now.. if you are being abused and have to take a break from the other person I dont know that id consider that stonewalling...

[@selfloveroadmap]

Contempt and defence are also fear responses. They are pointing out that if we let our actions towards our partner be driven by our fear responses, instead of finding a way to communicate that we are experiencing a fear response (freezing, urge to be contemptuous or defensive) but that we want to connect with them when we are in a state where that’s possible, if we cannot do that, then the relationship is being damaged and inevitably can only break down.

[@E.S.Foster99]

What if all of those 'doomed' behaviors are coming from your parents and older siblings?

[@Sunshinepetticoat]

Problem is I am the only one watching this. He is disengaged and doesn’t initiate any effort to solve our issues.

[@kogikashakunin4683]

Just wanted to say hi after reading your comment. I am in the same boat, but the bloke in this relationship. Absolutely no effort from her in trying to solve the issues. She would never ever look up a video or read an article.

[@Sunshinepetticoat]

@@kogikashakunin4683I am sorry you are in that situation. It’s hard. We fall in love with people for reasons. Those things, at least for me, don’t change. The other stuff, it’s all just noise. I’m disengaged now and it’s unfortunate. I guess we CAN only change ourselves and I’ll work on that. How I interact and engage.

[@main2333]

They said to leave immediately. Especially if person is a narcissist

[@helenstaniskov4570]

Great video, Mrs Gotman just needs to stop speaking over Mr Gotman, and allow him to speak!

[@donaldsodav290]

This is the power dynamic of the healthiest relationship experts in the world. You are not allowed to point out controlling behavior.

[@joools1953]

Exactly!

[@MarkNevinMusic]

Yeah, if these are the experts… no thanks!

[@kleinmain]

Mr. Gottman ist getting older, I think. If you watch older videos there is another dynamic there

[@helenstaniskov4570]

@@kleinmain Agreed, have watched earlier videos!

[@AvaGrail]

Just for the record “many many years” is not just seven or eight… at least 20

[@Blessed.7888]

😊relationship is a hard thing to maintain

[@biba350]

Yes relationship are constant work

[@MissLexi333]

I’m another video, these two says that only 35% of marriage are healthy and happy

[@slimkdnvr]

I agree with what they are saying, but I would add that how you get to that place is equally important. If someone cheated on you, and you stonewall them, show contempt, criticism, or they accuse you of being the reason they cheated, and you become defensive; what made the relationship fail? The four horsemen are indicators of inability to navigate conflict, but they can also be a response to straight up emotional abuse, manipulation, and narcissism. I would argue the person stonewalling, being defensive, even criticizing, may not be in the wrong, and even contempt could be highly dependent on a situation or behavior. So...if you cannot handle conflict, is it your fault or a sign that your partner is not the one? Or perhaps, both?

[@lilithowl]

Not sticking to rules about monogamy does not excuse bad behaviour on the other partner's behalf. People choose the way they respond, the blame can't be laid anywhere else.

[@slimkdnvr]

@@lilithowl I disagree. It's more than "not sticking to rules." It's blatant disrespect and hurtful behavior that shows true character and they 100% would deserve it. And I was using that as an example. I would say that contempt causes stonewalling, as well as criticism. Defensiveness is just narcissism 101.

[@sunshinebodey6919]

I had similar feelings knowing my highly phsyically abusive partner would use everything they said to indicate that it was my doing my fault - because al of those things are also signs of reactive abuse, which in my opinion is the equivalent of emotional self-defense that sometimes turns into physical self-defense. I love their approach for two relatively healthy people but when on is a true gaslighting abuser, this just is fuel fuel fuel!

[@JayPatel-gf9sc]

Too easy to break up these days - immaturity causes break up.

[@Maderlololohio]

Lack of humility is also a big one in many people. It shows when a man or woman takes too much advantage of the love and kindness of their partner. Who then grows resentful. Etc.

[@rc-pm1fe]

i am at 1 positive to negative 5, everytime i see or interact with my wife i am at fight or flight because i know she always comes home upset and i have no idea what im going to encounter when she cones through the door. I have timed it by the way, 34 seconds is the average time before she gripes about something, complains about something or criticises me.

[@JONAC-CANOJ]

Honestly I never hear anyone mentioning that the biggest red flag about Angelina and modern women in general is having a negative impression and opinion of their own father. How a woman speaks about her father and the relationship that she has with her father is the number one indicator of how she will treat her husband and the father of her children.

[@cathybutcher4826]

Her father abandoned the family. Why would she have any respect or kind words for him? Bad behavior should be called out. Being a parent doesn't automatically garner one respect. He should have been a decent human.

[@JONAC-CANOJ]

@@cathybutcher4826 Fair enough, but Angelina not reconciling her feelings about her father is a huge negative factor in her relationship with the father of her children and how those children are going to grow up. Their future romantic relationships and their own children will basically repeat that cycle. Rinse and repeat, over and over.

[@cathybutcher4826]

@@JONAC-CANOJ Brad has said himself that he has a problem with alcohol and apparently gets violent while intoxicated. I'm not saying she's an angel but living with an addict is automatically abusive and I'm saying that from personal experience. You cannot be slobbering drunk and not cause fear and trauma in your children and partner. I think resentment is fully justified. They walk away scott free and leave their messy trauma for someone else to clean up.

[@JONAC-CANOJ]

@@cathybutcher4826 If he was so toxic why did she stay for so long and then marry him? Not to underestimate the impact of his behavior, but they were together for a decade before getting married. If he was so awful she could have walked away early on instead of having multiple children with him and then getting married to him. They engaged in a romantic relationship while he was still married to someone else, clearly they both have toxic traits. My point is that the toxic traits of men get maximized and the ones of women get minimized and I find that disingenuous. I get to know the men I consider becoming romantically involved with, and I’m nothing special and I make sure that I understand their family dynamics before I get involved. Why do we normalize toxic behavior, especially from women? We keep blathering on about toxic masculinity when both men and women can be toxic?

[@cathybutcher4826]

@@JONAC-CANOJ Yes, both men and women can be toxic but the number of women losing their lives to violent, abusive men is disgusting. You can't go a day without hearing horrific crimes against women. Men make up the vast majority of inmates. There is definitely a problem with men in our society.

[@secretshaman189]

Wow, the explanation for stonewalling was incredible!

[@jeanlaubenthal698]

When you know better your can do better.

[@andrewfahey8301]

She keeps interrupting him.. they don't seem balanced.. everyone is a teacher these days..talk about state the obvious..

[@curtisowens750]

And yet there is a lot of truth in what they are saying! Their advice saved my marriage!

[@johnmiranda2307]

Find gratitude for the other

[@Annie-ZA]

But remember to also love and respect SELF!

[@cublau]

I wonder how many partnerships turned to the better after therapy. The only persons I know who invested in a paar therapy, afterwards knew that it was better to break up.

[@Amanda-ei7oc]

I’m a counsellor in training but I was always told that therapy for couples is either a “hello” or “goodbye” moment - often the latter and usually because people leave it too late to go. But the reality is how many of us address things when they’re minor? Usually we wait until it’s a real problem and by then, it’s usually more cure than prevention.

[@mpro9446]

@@Amanda-ei7oc good point

[@PaulCeridwen]

read the forbidden book Magnetic Aura on Borlest, and you'll see the secrets they're keeping from us.

[@КераМера-ю4н]

150 people liked this and nobody was like "Let me explain" 😃

[@jphillips8545]

So can someone please explain what’s so amazing about this book?

[@asierra3100]

Bot. I've seen this in countless other comments. They keep trying to sell this book.

[@GoodDay-ox1el]

Sounds like conspiracy theory… they…hiding…

[@jessicaf6358]

Serious question: once respect has been lost, have you ever been able to get it back (for a lover, partner, friend, family member, co-worker, boss, stranger, neighbor, etc)?

[@Seinfeldfour]

My wife needs to watch this

[@wangari0.052]

Send it to her

[@Openhearted2024]

It’s interesting just watching this couples communication patterns….

[@sallyr.6891]

She cuts him off several times in 1st 5 mins.

[@heatherlove5989]

You cut off the conversation about stonewalling. That’s so frustrating

[@CamStubbs]

I wish I seen this clip 18 years ago

[@morbintime-l4i]

therapy is a scam. coming from someone who spent years with multiple therapists and on lexapro. all it did was make me emotionless, numb and fragile

[@MrPausenbrot]

Maybe it's not a scam. But most therapists are completely incompetent.🙌

[@joshuajansen716]

Lexapro may not be for you especially if it's making you feel dull (been there)

[@simonshakespeare82]

Isn’t that what antidepressants do though? Maybe it wasn’t the therapy 🤷‍♂️

[@MariaB11]

Not true

[@janakugel3456]

I don’t want to gaslight you, but if you have been to multiple therapists and therapy works for many people - have you thought about the fact that you’re the common denominator? Therapy can’t work, if you’re not participating - so it’s probably a bit of both, or you haven’t found someone who can help you. It’s not your therapists job to fix you. Maybe staying stuck in a victim mindset is hindering you from moving forward ❤

[@eomanga]

This good one honestly

[@fuanaaraujo]

What happened to the videos ? Why are they so short now? Where is the full version ? 😮

[@Valerie-uw5cd]

There’s a longer version for 2 hours.

[@rhiannonh.7463]

This is the clip account. You need to find “The Diary of a CEO” original page.

[@GNUBRAIN]

wow.... thank you....

[@GabrielHames]

really liked this video

[@mtlmike3956]

Hard to accept advice from someone who shushed their partner on a podcast. @7:25

[@Valerie-uw5cd]

😂😂😂

[@wangari0.052]

😂😂😂😂

[@ethanmiller5487]

"If people did know they would change..." Really? The obesity and drug epidemic say otherwise. Unless you think people can go through life in our current day and age won't hear about health. This wishful kind of thinking will destroy you personally.

[@Mia1827]

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him

[@Yukajoseph]

its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.

[@Mia1827]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him?

[@Yukajoseph]

His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@Yukajoseph]

he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.

[@Mia1827]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive

[@TheValueOfQuestions]

I don't know why I am watching this video. I don't want to be disrespectful but I am single and as a middle aged man there is zero chance for me.

[@santhoshkumars885]

Here my life no relationship and no girlfriend, no love till now. Because I am short height guy and low wealth. No one girl like with me and not married to me. I am facing many problems and it pain fully my life.🥺😔😞💔

[@santhoshkumars885]

😢😮😢😢

[@jphillips8545]

I’m sad to hear that for you 😢 I don’t think you’re alone, perhaps just join hobbies that women share, get out there, do a cooking course even. There’s a woman out there for you 😊

[@TheAkasha2012]

Self pity is very unattractive

[@TanaYoga]

This is one of my favourite shows but the titles are so click baity cringe that I feel embarrassed to send it to anyone I know. Marketing team please stop this

[@jackintheforest]

Height of irony that this learned couple is here to attest to what makes a good relationship (versus a bad relationship) yet their interaction, dynamic, and body language tells the opposite > the female dominates, monopolizes, interrupts, talks over, and excludes her male partner. Obvious she wants to do all the talking. She wears the pants and completely controls. She needs to take a breathe, learn to be quiet, and share the space with her partner. Rotate back and forth and let him speak. Your profession is to read the room > read the room. Share❤

[@Robin-399]

They remind me of Sesame Street puppets

[@lingy74]

You seem more bothered by it than he is though. It’s a boundary for you maybe he likes hearing and letting her talk. There are no rules as to what makes 2 people work. Because we are all different

[@belleofthecamp6530]

She may be more assertive but there’s is no contempt, and I observed an equal exchange with mutual respect despite her more assertive (not aggressive) approach. They work well together. There’s respect and love there. Take another look.

[@Pernikitty]

At the end of the day, she’s the professional psychotherapist, he’s a researcher. She interprets and explains his research. I have noticed the same dynamic, but whenever he contributes, she acknowledges him and incorporates his interjections, so he’s not sidelined. I read it as her being more extroverted than him, and he probably prefers that she does most of the talking.

[@jphillips8545]

@@Robin-399😂 😂😂😂

[@FrankStanleyas]

awesome

[@melissadsilva6062]

this lady is so dominating on him….she is so know it all that its just irritating.She is probably a narcissist herself…full of herself

[@RickyPayaso]

Check @8.35 - Too much

[@NostalgicPocket]

If you are forgetful about paying bills as an adult I guess your parents where telling the truth when they used to say it. Maybe childhood trauma is really just us being critiqued for flaws that if we didn’t fix would cause problems in adulthood. Which is just pridefulness at the end of the day. We’re quick to write off our crap as something that was done to us instead of facing it and fixing it. To the point it’s made it in the movies and sermons. I’d hate to lose out on everlasting life for not taking accountability, Unforgiveness, and pride. We won’t even remember this life so make how you live right in God’s eyes and we will be rewarded

[@cathybutcher4826]

I don't think you understand what actual trauma is.

[@carolwardropper5521]

It’s life..

[@andrewfahey8301]

This is like a Ricky Gervais sketch 😂😂

[@Linda-q2t]

Click bait....where is Brad and Angelina?

[@vodkayeti3846]

For Men. Do your research beforehand. How was she brought up and what has she achieved in terms of self worth so far. This will give you a clearer understanding of what and who she is.

[@BrooklynBaby100]

😂

[@bonditltd5346]

So many flaws in their work - I don’t know where to begin. They can’t even agree on when a relationship is past saving. The usual guests are good. These are charlatans

[@karencohen5608]

Charlatans? They are 2 of the most well known psychologists in the world! 😂

[@bonditltd5346]

@@karencohen5608 well known as in notorious?

[@bonditltd5346]

@@karencohen5608 Well known? Putin is a well known leader. That sort of well known? their work’s based on their opinions. There’s no science to it.

[@karencohen5608]

@@bonditltd5346 ha ha! No, they are incredibly well respected in the field of relationship theory. Definitely not fakes, or charlatans as you suggest. They are getting older now, but their research is very well known and held in high regard. I think he did well to have them on as guests.

[@taskforce169black6]

Therapy is useless.

[@tmac662]

Is he talking about his longterm relationship he is in, again? Is that his "friend"?

[@EirlysJenifer]

best!!!

[@michaelwatts1186]

MPOV. I dont think there is the right one. I think you can find many that you can fall in love with or create a strong bond with. If one relationship doesnt work any longer there may be others than can be better suited for you. Being fixated or possessive on a person is not healthy either way.

[@SariElaineie]

this format really suits me

[@pmarreck]

Did they factor in having a toddler in the house, which a parent friend of mine with older kids called “the war zone era”? 😂 Also relationships with 1 partner being neurodivergent

[@CrystalNelson-tc9xg]

Did she really shush him ?

[@richardlenz2655]

The biggest problem is when you have a very beautiful wife. Then you can experience hell the best 🤭

[@Ren-1979]

There should be a mandatory subject in school. Perhaps even simply ethics, in which dealing with conflict situations in general as well as in couples is taught. In addition, ethical inter-sexual behaviour could also be taught. e.g. How and where do I ‘correctly’ approach a woman I find attractive. e.g. How do I make a man understand that I am not interested without hurting his feelings too much. The roles can of course also be reversed. etc. I think we have reached a point as a society that makes such a mandatory subject in school necessary. 🤔

[@MrZoddd]

Nice

[@ssgaffney]

Her interrupting and interjecting is distracting. Given the context, I would expect a stronger display of respect. Some might say it's no big deal. However, if they had a client couple come in anytime the wife were to attempt to express a thought, the husband hijacked the microphone - it would 100% be a focus and good reason for the wife to feel undervalued, not equal, intimidated, etc.

[@tm9184]

Therapist saying do therapy. Okay got it. It’s like a car salesman giving you advice on what to do when your car broke down.

[@dazzybizzle]

someone with eyes and ears

[@TheYotamoron]

I don't understand of this talk. They are just describing things (interesting or not, that's subjective) - no apparent solution.

[@edgewalker7459]

Sounds like my ex wife , criticism , defensive, insulting, creating arguments where none exists

[@RickyPayaso]

I think these two need some help....The old fella anyways :D

[@RickyPayaso]

@8.35....The way she pats him on the hand to shut him up while staring straight ahead...The irony ,considering what they are talking about :D

[@sreedevi3652]

👑❤❤

[@tamelashafer8852]

💜♾️🙏🏼🕉️

[@stephaniec5215]

Is that a kippah? Where is their work within the orthodoxy?

[@successfulperson3304]

What? How is that relevant?

[@stephaniec5215]

@@successfulperson3304 Thank you! The entirety of the couples in their study, from which all the statistics quoted are drawn, were Orthodox Jew as the gentleman is a Rabbi. It is important to respect that there are unique cultures within the orthodoxy, and non religious couples are unlikely to fall into the categories stated by the Gottmans.

[@brigittekrause3944]

Haven't listened to this, but to use an Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt image, when she and her kids were abused, is beyond my imagination. Click bait bullshit.

[@restyledlemons]

Too bad when it’s heated to create the gummy all the good stuff goes away.

[@mrvera1970]

Why does it have to last 🙄. . Variety is the spice of life

[@MrPausenbrot]

True but I don't need a variety of bullshit😂

[@dennisassini-pw2ic]

This women cuts off her companion as she wishes. As if what she has to say is more important than what he has to say. Ego and control built into this woman’s psychological makeup. Disrespect to the guy sitting next to her simply trying to speak. Terrible and made me feel uncomfortable. If I were the guy sitting next to this woman I’d simply leave the podcast as a sign of self respect!

[@exvandalz8095]

Talk about boring...none of this is true either. All relationships differ, some tolerate more than others. Just go watch sex and the city it's more informative and entertaining than these old duffs.

[@Naturesresonancecsheedy]

With the stonewalling, I didn't get if it was the stonewaller or the person being stonewalled that's physiology was being so dramatically effected by adrenaline and cortisol?

[@seven92023]

If therapy is mentioned then that's a sign it's over and you should walk away. Moreover, don't get in relationship with anyone who is in therapy or has done therapy.