How To Be A Road Biker

[@arslanabhatti]

Remember to change all the components of your bike to better ones.... then just buy another bike a year later

[@angelicalim8531]

Lol

[@Gromcan]

Arslan Bhatti what are you doing to me

[@kimjongunch2475]

Is this a personal attack?

[@takeitoutdoors4828]

Next time just tag me, Arslan. 😂

[@blizzbee]

My complete road bike is $200... And it's also 13.8kg.

[@jacksherriff1227]

Also binge watch GCN videos

[@bryanramos2014]

GhostyGhost who's the best GCN presenter?

[@andrewmitchell5807]

bryan ramos si

[@Nouveau0]

Andrew Mitchell c'mon we all know it's Matt

[@kaloka521]

#EmmaFanSquad

[@ryuuseiboi950]

Bryan Ramos I was going to kill myself when Matt left CGN

[@guitarcentral9486]

Remember, a crash is worth it if you beat a record on strava

[@3500wade]

LMAO this is the third day after i crashed ,i'm sitting here with a broken elbow and zero regrets , i beat my record.

[@bnadit1949]

I did this the other day, took 3rd on a descent and crashed right after I crossed the end of the segment.

[@Андрей-в1г8я]

I crashed too, trying to become a KOM. It was unbeatable actually)))

[@banannaxpancakehildyard8229]

They forgot to lock the bike at the end

[@patheticbikeaholic1611]

Yes

[@Siliven]

Whoever writes these segments... Genius comedy without being crude and explicit. This is really, really funny stuff, without relying on immature, or suggestive humor. Quality stuff.

[@boopitydoopity]

except step 16 :p

[@grifter84]

They did have to bleep or mute the word "fuck" a couple of times.

[@Motherwaffle]

Im mean there is a literal sex scene

[@boostedbrian8309]

Maria actually it's a cheap ripoff of GCN.

[@soup7917]

I think it's just funny, nobody really gives a shit how it was written

[@AshCosgrove]

My arch enemy is the wind damnit!

[@canadalavearn]

I second that

[@ravindersandhu576]

But it cools u down

[@ralfrufus6573]

My arch enemy is the uphill, damnit!

[@ПилотОст]

You got damn right

[@DanArnets1492]

Headwinds and any incline above 7% for 1h for me.

[@gladius69]

Run red lights if it looks clear enough so you don't have to stop and unclip...

[@dawn9782]

+Bellwhacker RED means BRAVE ; Yellow means HAPPY ; GREEN means GO . what are you watiting for, get your own coffin now.. :D

[@dawn9782]

i mean coffee..

[@Infernoflameblast]

the truth

[@lukescott4474]

Gladius amen

[@billykobilca6321]

Gladius genius! !!!

[@thundercactus]

Remember to draft abnormally close to the biker in front of you, make him do all the work.

[@dekster14LP]

thundercactus And than leave him behind when he has used up all his energy.

[@stephaniegobler7368]

thundercactus Even better... quietly sneak up and draft behind the biker training for a tri (riding aero) and scare the living shit out of her by drafting freakishly close - not considering that she's never had someone draft off her before!

[@peter_smyth]

If you can't smell their butt, you're not close enough.

[@keenansegenchuk7177]

Stephanie Gobler you seem to be talking out of experience

[@reecenewton3097]

But don't cross wheels!!

[@Ranger4402]

Buy a jersey with some company name on it and advertise for them and not get paid!!!

[@normadicn5700]

This!

[@kainpwnsu]

Yeah, but it's free or heavily discounted!

[@rejickmukherjee9154]

Custom jersey 😄

[@arturrrrrrkato]

You actually get paid :D This shirts are relatively cheaper than one's without brands names :D

[@colinmurphy2127]

Never tell your wife,the TRUE cost of cycle parts.

[@krsvbg1989]

Y'all married the wrong people. I tell my wife the true cost. She laughs and thinks it's stupid... just like I laugh at her paying $500 for a Coach bag. We all have different interests and hobbies that we're crazy for. Honesty is still the best policy - it is not only morally right, but highly efficient too.

[@MattyJTri]

(I think it was a joke)

[@CanIHasThisName]

If you crash and die, she will sell them for what you told her they cost.

[@Deniz_1637]

damnnn true af

[@birkhaugen6361]

Not your mom either

[@veronicaivy3671]

100% legit. You missed: track stand at red lights.

[@crazybarbarian1604]

+Rachel M What do you mean? Road bikers don't stop at red lights XD

[@jarryda]

+CrazyBarbarian Pull onto sidewalk. Pass red light. Get off sidewalk. What red light? I'm a "pedestrian."

[@Umur64]

+jarryda thats what i do lmao

[@duskedradiance4165]

If you're still in high school, be prepared, because your mom will ask you to buy something from the nearest convenience store.

[@JaCkFrQsT]

I do that

[@elithe240guy]

Accessories!! GPS computer, power meter, pedals, carbon wheels with fancy boutique hubs, shoes, and helmet. These items should cost more than your initial purchase for the bike.

[@AgentB7]

Yeah, “buy a Garmin”.

[@beans392]

And when you get a cheap carbon fork to save some money, it snaps in half because of a pothole that you didn't notice

[@ifhtfilms]

1,000,000! Thanks for watching and sharing!

[@desireesun]

How to be a snowboarder or basketball player?

[@fishline8580]

Please do how to be a soccer player

[@tyson1ize]

+Fish Line that's thoccer player

[@timzippenfennig2892]

How to be a Bmxer

[@timzippenfennig2892]

Or a Dirtbiker,Slopestyler....

[@ifhtfilms]

NEW VIDEO! A follow up to "How to be a Mountain Biker" we decided to teach you all how to become a road biker! Share with your friends and enjoy!

[@Chanchaldas17]

beware of car doors

[@dirtydove250]

Step 10: It's a cap not a hat.

[@halbritt]

Tyler Horsman Nobody gives a fuck about the three awful cyclists you once met.

[@ingabeck]

You guys are awesome, I LOVE these videos!

[@innteruuption]

Jamie john what..?

[@Banananaish]

Also: Always feel challenged if another roadbiker overtakes you!

[@JohnSmith-pn1vv]

Yes! If I was slower I'd have way more cycling friends

[@KonradRibeiro]

Uncomfortably accurate.

[@EmmaMoorelovesFundamental]

Hit outta the park! Good One. VEDY GOOD ONE.

[@yoda112358]

I think they missed the gigantic crush we all have on Peter Sagan.

[@sardasert]

Sagan is Life

[@Dave-lf5kv]

please... speak for yourself

[@shannonstrobel6727]

I have Tom Boonen on my nightstand... er his picture, I mean... yeah...

[@donkim123]

Helicase21 #nosagannotour

[@fteogr]

His name is Lord Sagan

[@Hassannajfi]

You forgot to buy a bike one size too small just to slam the stem even more

[@lukescott4474]

HassanNajfi or in my case like 3 sizes too small.

[@criteriumgoat6525]

Holy shit I'm guilty of this

[@andydrany1057]

My father works at a bike shop, and he's a road biker, I can relate to everything!!

[@xtravaganzagold]

great ! You forgot that a road cyclist should wear jerseys full of sponsors that you don't have a clue or they don't pay you to

[@frankmc4294]

hahahahaha great analysis ....

[@canadalavearn]

Darn

[@adventuresona700dollarhard5]

This is #1

[@AndrewPennella]

So I watched this video when it came out about 2 years ago just before I became a serious cyclist and now that that I'm coming back to this video you guys are fucking spot on!

[@fredsmith9885]

I'm FRED and I have my own category - awesome!

[@vikeskie]

"Oh I'm gonna KOM" DIED laughing xD

[@mijreed]

-Learn to be a good pack leader by yelling out road debris and potholes way too loudly. -Learn to ride in a pack by avoiding snotting or spitting on your fellow riders. Also, learn to yell "Hold your line." -Learn to tell the difference between an amateur and a category rider by their spin. Be sure to point this out to everyone around you. "That guys spin is crap." "Wow, great spin, he knows what he's doing." -Laugh at other cyclist when they crack on a climb. "Too much for you softie." But when you crack on a climb, down shift as hard as possible to derail your chain. "Crap! My chain is loose." -Every amateur out for a sunday stroll is your chance to show them they don't deserve to ride on the same road as you. Pass them going 25mph not matter what and with only 1 foot to spare. Also sneak up on them then scream "ON YOUR RIGHT!!!" -Race in a crit. It doesn't matter that you were dropped half way through, always claim you finished top 10. -Besure to complain about the chosen course. "Turns were too tight." "That road was crap." "I had to travel 11 hours for this race."

[@mickenoss]

-You can only acknowledge other cyclists with a slight nod. And even that is a little over the top.

[@torenessa6931]

"You slide better when you crash" that had me in tears

[@marineninga]

Did that guy shave his eye brows?

[@luca3976]

2:08 2:13 no i dont think so

[@saxoncrockford9006]

So true. Except you missed high socks and a hate against disk brakes

[@RealMTBAddict]

Still hate disk brakes? Lol

[@chr1sj4]

@@RealMTBAddict that anti disc brake comment was made four years ago

[@RealMTBAddict]

@@chr1sj4 exactly my point.

[@RealMTBAddict]

Still hate disk brakes??????

[@cyllxx9112]

@@RealMTBAddict I hate disc brakes because rim brake bikes are cheaper

[@Esudao]

3 years in, still not shaving my legs. feeling like a rebel.

[@Namnarooni]

Yeah.. I'm with you.. And I'm a freakin SASQUATCH !! I hope it grosses out the real bike snobs... ROFL

[@Geliormth]

hairy legs, gross! ;)

[@ErkiDM1997]

Lol, who cares, i only shaved after like 4 years, drove a mountainbike and didnt feel like it, now with my roadbike i think it looks better without hairy legs. But idgaf what others do, whatever suits you best.

[@teuast]

It does make dealing with road rash easier, I found that out the hard way. Still haven't bothered to do it, though.

[@Woopb]

23 years in, i shaved it once. Not because of cycling, I lost a bet.

[@PedalsAndMotors]

you forgot runners on the enemy list lol

[@tarkilldudegaming2296]

IAmNikolasDiDomenico and fixed gear riders lol

[@noonehere4332]

And pedestrians

[@corvividart4745]

when i was into cycling, it was horses because i saw them as.. a competitor for bikes?? i was weird

[@xx-----------xx873]

I hate equestrians too because they are allowed to let their horses shit on the road and the path, and it never comes off the tread.

[@PedalsAndMotors]

Sad thing is this comment is coming back to bite me, I am a runner for my college, BUT cycling is still better

[@robvieira348]

According to "The Rules", the correct number of bikes to own has an alternative formula of "b = S - 1", where S is the number of bikes that would cause your spouse to separate...

[@wa22up0]

get a name sticker with country flag on your bike

[@lukescott4474]

wa22up0 just to make yourself look like a pro lmao

[@shanestrains4724]

You can do that?!?!

[@jasonknoll5170]

@@shanestrains4724 Yeah it's just a sticker you can buy online.

[@MelkorHimself]

"...or Fred." Lost it.

[@geraldchampigny1559]

I agree!

[@gracelynbailey7516]

This is the most informative video I've ever seen 😂😂

[@Birginio420]

> Sign up for a triathlon. Because you know how to swim and run, and you're already a pro cyclist.

[@theodoreroberts8524]

The livestrong wristband comment gets me every time.

[@BoxCarBoy12]

2:23 Oh, oh, I'm gonna KOM!

[@PeterLeder]

it took me this comment to get the joke, thanks! 😂

[@levibeselt2068]

this video is sooooo true! I'm also do MTB tho. I found this great shirt that says "If I collapse pause my Strava" but sadly the material is to thick to actually use for riding.

[@matejhantabal235]

Get your bike stolen and brag about it for years

[@maskoblackfyre]

Well, that guy at the end did just go to the coffee shop and not lock his bike. I almost got a seizure seeing it, but I mean... I guess.

[@goldendream4740]

This channel deserves more fame.

[@patel9814]

2:20 we shave to get a streamlined shape so we can go faster

[@BucketlistFitRunning]

Love this! Road cycling is a bit ridiculous sometimes. Whatever.

[@GTAgamesfans]

My arch rivals - All Other Cyclists.

[@UkrainianBazooka]

Cars, potholes, idiots(triathletes and others), and oblivious pedestrians.

[@luca3976]

@@UkrainianBazooka obviously pedestrains!!

[@ksa7740vi]

Me as a mountain biker: "Dude. Stop taking the roads."

[@obliviontls]

@@UkrainianBazooka Why triathletes ?? they are nice !

[@santeriastrom7530]

At the end you missed something hmm LOCKING YOUR BIKE!

[@Mr_Frypan]

Bike locks aren't aero

[@GeoffMartin]

About time us roadies got some well-deserved lurve...

[@ThisIsLesli]

Yeah, this made me guffaw a few times.

[@TheMikemg2]

Funny, but most of those are true. You missed matching kit and bike though.

[@jasonacg]

"I'm gonna KOM!" Love it!!

[@ameliemoulin7452]

My dad is a manager of a bike repair store, and he's a road biker, I practically know what everything means in this video, it's awesome!:D

[@dudeonbike800]

Well then, you can shove that EPO up your VO2 Max!

[@brandonbrown9296]

Seriously though. Why all the hate when the majority of cyclists like myself follow all the rules of the road, are respectful to motorists, and really just love the sport and all its joys?

[@luca3976]

Because the negative riders always stand out more. No motorist will remeber a cyclist that did not pass him on a red light to get to the front of the line

[@michelleroach6696]

Because the majority in Vancouver don't follow the rules

[@HamsterWheelGaming]

@@luca3976 Pretty much this. Same with bikers, because some act like dickheads, it means that normal bikers get lumped in with those assholes. Same for people who do speed cycling

[@benjamindavies1188]

@@HamsterWheelGaming depending on the speed limit, if you are going faster than a car, the driver can sometimes respect you more

[@alexkellner3670]

gayyyy

[@timmymtb4198]

2:31 you forgot wind above 10 mph from anywhere but behind

[@NadineCarterSQirl]

I'm ready for "How to be a Cyclocross Biker"

[@LeoDenman]

This channel helped me thru a breakup. Thanks Matt and Jason

[@Knight465]

Another guys: hey! get a car Me: Hey! Get your fit!

[@lukewilliams7885]

3:33 I’m a mountain biker and so are all of my friends. A roadie is our nemesis.

[@BenAmaral]

do how to be a skateboarder :)

[@angeldavis3619]

I always go on dirt and/or growel on side of the road and little bumps bc its wayyyyy easier to paddle and way more fun!

[@flowdj00]

you missed things like riders going to coffee shops or subways with their outfits

[@ifhtfilms]

You must have stopped watching before the last step!

[@flowdj00]

+IFHT I might have sorry

[@sethhoynoski6089]

I laughed way too hard for the garmin KOM part hahahaha

[@PilotInCommand100]

Pick your enemy. You missed out BMXers as a choice.

[@BerserkCD]

I first watched this about a lil over a year ago... Came back and Holy cow how accurate this is, all that jargon and slang... I KNOW ALL OF IT! And those habits (most of them) apply to me haha

[@poopie9080]

2:50 lol thats me when I first started cycling

[@obedcobawiras8098]

thanks for brighten up my day

[@JamesBarr17]

A biker is someone who doesn't pedal. However, amazingly entertaining and hilariously accurate video. :)

[@CanIHasThisName]

How are mountain bikers moving in them mountains then?

[@montanawalker8819]

@@CanIHasThisName if it's a decent mountain, a lift

[@CanIHasThisName]

@@montanawalker8819 Only in gravity parks.

[@montanawalker8819]

Exactly, a gravity park is a decent mountain.

[@nefariousstylo9943]

Been a while since I was on a road bike so I re-watched for the lulz. I've done at least half of this in this month alone. Hold me.

[@ShuttTheFrontDoor]

Gets funnier each time I watch.

[@ScottLoveless]

Arch-nemesis: triathletes.

[@tudajfor]

I miss these! Please make more!

[@chenghanli2541]

“It makes me more aero” LMAO

[@tommysinclair686]

My dads a roady I race mtb. Our relationship is very good

[@beans392]

Everyone should take this to heart

[@DJWolves97]

Added step: Remember to correct everyone who calls you a "biker" instead of a cyclist.

[@casparvoncampenhausen5249]

Absolutely

[@beans392]

Biker is the one with the 500 pound motorcycle that goes the speed of light at highways only to rear end you

[@nielsdekruijk]

@@beans392 and those forest guys on MTB

[@cw6842]

Absolutely EXCELLENT!

[@Mistardmuster]

So much truth. So much.

[@Buzzalong.cycling]

Love the video :) on point, felt described 100%

[@WoahitsSitlaly]

Looked online for prices, Jesus Christ it's more than $1,000!!

[@keenansegenchuk7177]

honestly dishonest the bike Sagan rode in the tour last year was around 13000$

[@myfirstcrappyvideobilly]

Some are upward 5K

[@evangeloskapris6230]

The bike formula is n - 1 where n = the number of bikes your partner wont tolerate ;)

[@4coolkidz91]

Guy: Get a car Me: Psh the road bike probably cost more than that car

[@ezedits2222]

Never thought I’d see the day Matt on a rode bike

[@ethanauchterlonie2734]

2:26 what is he doing

[@beans392]

...

[@stuttgart_911]

Riding 😅😅

[@no_handle_required]

Between this and the MBT video, I had to subscribe. Not just funny, but true.

[@D_2_M]

same here

[@elliottheap8969]

2019 spend thousands on a zwift setup and pain cave

[@aidenrobertson947]

My friend is a road biker and I’m a mountain biker and we can spend a full class (40 mins) debating who’s bike is better and what is more fun

[@taufikabidin412]

Ofc a recumbent is better

[@TonyMontana-wq2bg]

Uhmm well I know EPO is Erythropoietin that increases your performance, but what about IPA???

[@chips1972]

IPA....India Pale Ale.. high alcohol,high hoppy beer..Yum.....

[@TheDarkLegacy]

Oh my god I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe.. The pothole and gluten thing got me (2:37).. Thanks for this guys.. BRB gonna shave my entire body

[@loganduckthomas1best697]

Fun Fact: When your clipped in it’s known as clipless and when your clipless your clipped in.

[@scrawfordmt]

Dead. This is spot on. Their Skier episode is 100% accurate too.

[@FreddyGaming]

Some of the were so fucking true!

[@nikos-giorgos]

Third video i've watched.Subscribed!

[@kateza9658]

Im watching this and im a mountain biker

[@AcoreOneRlovE]

This channel is lit af

[@bigfella37]

You missed step 27: get a mountain bike

[@ajengelbert]

Great video! Guys you forgot the Carbon vs Aluminium vs. Aloy frame debate!

[@bruhbruhbruhburhbruh]

You Forgot To Run Red Lights

[@saurabhmahuli4134]

ive watched this a hundred times!!

[@Kzuke]

Turn your nose up and snub any other cyclists who wave or nod to you on the road. Roadies are too cool to wave.

[@archerwilliams4071]

They are men that making as a group they are sexist they are cool people

[@shaky8037]

That Armstrong reference at Step 18 (min.2:40) LMAO!

[@alecjahn]

THAT FUCKING GLUTEN. I HATE THAT GUY. I THINK. SOMEONE TOLD ME I SHOULD. DAMNIT.

[@PJParan]

*Yellow livestrong wristband* Damnnnnnn! Shots fired!

[@Benzknees]

1. Run over pedestrians on road 2. Run over pedestrians on pavement 3. Swerve out into middle of road just when a vehicle is trying to pass 4. Go when traffic lights are on red 5. Never use cycle lanes 6. Swear and give finger to pedestrians, motorists, other cyclists at all times 7. Go mental when pedestrians, motorists and other cyclists come within 30 feet of you, and post your GoPro video on KZbin and to the local Police

[@MegaSPEED999]

Well i looks like u made Bad experiences with road bikers, but not every roadbiker is so mean...

[@Benzknees]

MegaSPEED999 Maybe not, but they all seem to lack a sense of humour...

[@bloodsord9]

It must be your luck

[@FuzzyJammer]

> 2. Run over pedestrians on pavement Well, no, unlike commuters and mtbers road cyclists do not ride on pavements (and bike lanes), that's just unhip and not cool. > 5. Never use cycle lanes YISSSS.

[@Benzknees]

FuzzyJammer You're right, I'm sure that a bunch of out of condition middle aged men wearing tight lycra shorts and garishly coloured tops, acting as if they were in the Tour de France, would never do anything unhip or uncool.

[@melissaallen4020]

Great video and so funny. Loved it.

[@Namnarooni]

ROFL.. Put on baggy shirts & shorts, go ride your mountain bike and curse the road bikers as they pass you by whilst thinking to youself "Ha.. your lucky I'm not on MY road bike!"

[@carloswithac]

Ha! I always think that. Then play mind games by keeping up with them for a bit before getting to the trail.

[@Namnarooni]

Has to be a pretty novice road biker or advanced mountain biker, especially with full knobbies on.

[@Namnarooni]

I do it on my commuter hybrid quite often though !! Which is basically a cyclocross bike with straight bar and 38c Bontrager H2's on it

[@Namnarooni]

I do all 3, commute, MTB, and road bike and I know I couldn't pass my road bike on my MTB !! ROFL!

[@montanawalker8819]

Man, why all the hate between roadies and mtbikers? Respect to roadies for climbing those hills and going around the turns so tight, but I love to shred a technical section with skinny rather than a smooth, boring ride on roads.

[@me-it9jn]

I love how the mtb and road bike vids have the same format

[@sobek]

instructions unclear, set house on fire

[@TEEEEEEEG]

OHH I'M GONNA KOM