IM NOT DOING OKAY | GRIEF & LOSS OF LOVED ONES | BEING HONEST WITH WHERE IM CURRENTLY AT

My Dad has unexpectedly passed away, 3 days after my dog died. I am currently struggling with huge waves of all the stages of grief ( denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance). I am also struggling with my other relationships (friends/family etc) being effected by what I am going through. I also have another family member dealing with serious medical issues so just keep me and my family in your thoughts.
I might be somewhat absent from the channel if I need to. I might feel like making videos, if I feel the pull to. Im just not sure, please bare with me.
- R
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ABOUT ME:
I am 34 years old and I live in the foothills of Northern California. I am married with two dogs. I love second hand shopping, beauty, true crime & talking about self help! I'm a Taurus which means I'm loyal, reliable, honest & tend to love beautiful things!
FTC Disclaimer: This video is NOT SPONSORED. All opinions are my own. I only tell you my genuine experiences and honest reviews! Some links may be affiliate in which I could earn a small commission.

[@samanthabarnard9541]

Grief isn’t linear. It’s like riding a wave. And you never “get over it”. You just try to build more love around it to “pad the pointy parts” and make it hurt just a little less. Prayers for you beautiful girl.

[@sarabelrodriguez7241]

So sorry for your loss, I loved it when your dad would make an appearance in your videos, praying for you 😢🙏

[@terisnow2690]

The day my Mom passed there was a huge rainbow over the entire city, with clouds that look like wings thru the middle. There r signs of her everywhere everyday. I really believe your Dad is with u and showing u he is ok. I know it's hard, I'm just trying to make it everyday. Believe and feel and see and enjoy everything u want to. Noone is living this but u 🙏💗🌈

[@sheririvers205]

Rachelle I'm so sorry about your Dad, praying for you and your family ❤

[@criggs88]

I lost my dad fairly quickly in 2023. He was diagnosed with Cancer in Oct and passed Dec 1st only being home for 2 weeks. I was training for a new job and I was only able to see him 3 times before he passed. I'm still struggling with it. We were close and I thought I'd have more time and my daughter who I had in 2023 (his first grandchild) would have more time. Ive found some relief in talking about him even though it comes with tears, by talking about him I still feel him here. Every single day I miss him and I will for the rest of my life. Hugs to you, this is one of the hardest things to go through but his spirit is with you always. ❤️

[@aracelig6638]

Rachelle hearing this broke my heart. I loved seeing you and your dads great bond, he seemed so supportive, funny, and kind. I am so sorry. I am happy to hear your Dad is sending you messages, your phone dinged when you said that! Everet is amazing.

[@billit.8168]

Those "signs" are exactly what you interpret them to be!! We took my dad's ashes to Gatlinburg, TN, which is where he wanted to rest, and there was a beautiful butterfly that followed us that whole day along our journey. We knew that was him ❤️. Some days will be harder than others, but, seems like he knows what a strong chick you are!!! Sending virtual hugs.

[@rondaspencer1408]

I’m sorry sorry for the loss of your sweet dad 😢 I cried this entire video. Your dad will continue to send you signs, even when you least expect them. I’m keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers🫶 Love you Rachelle ❤

[@marilynmarshall7767]

So sorry for your Dads passing, prayers for you. It is heartbreaking and my thoughts are for you!

[@Debragaray]

I’m sorry for your loss. The sings are real! My mom still sends me signs after 5 years. I feel like she’s my guardian angel. I hope you continue to find comfort in them.

[@RachelleSpier]

I’m definitely leaning into them 🥹❣️ thanks for the encouragement

[@erinwhitaker2699]

I'm so sad to hear about your dad suddenly passing away. I enjoyed the last vlog with him and your day together. Sharing publicly about hard things is incredibly difficult and I hope that you are able to gather some encouragement and support from your friends here on YT.

[@leialohakaimoana552]

Whoa my stomach sank, this absolutely broke my heart. I'm am so incredibly sorry. I loved watching your dad and you together in the vlogs. He was so young, bright and vibrant. This is very shocking news. The way you spoke of him understanding you more than anyone is so relatable too, that struck me hard....I pray for you and your heart right now.

[@karengeib7308]

Again, I am so sorry of the loss of your father! I’ve lost both my parents, and each loss presents different grief, different roller coasters of emotions and all that comes with it. Grief is each persons experience, and no one can determine your grief. Definitely moving and acknowledging those emotions will be good and talking about those feelings and your dad and your relationship and ziggy and all the things is going to be big on your mental health. Take your time when you need it! And I’m so glad you have Everette and Mochi! Sending continued prayers, strength and hugs as you transition through this! My son in law died and left his 7 month old son, but because of those “God winks”, we know he’s near for my daughter and grandson.

[@sylviamartinez3029]

So sorry.. my father passed away over 3 years ago and still hurts. Take it one day at a time. Remember the good times the laughs the smiles.

[@marymeyer6578]

I am so sorry for your loss. I literally gasped and I read this. Please take all the time you need. Again, I am so sorry.

[@terisnow2690]

My condolences, I lost my mom on 2/2 and my dad 3/7 this year. My mom was my best friend and I miss her everyday. I understand the waves of emotions, there are no words 😢

[@plantbasedpisces5755]

Rachelle, I am holding space for you through this time. It's not easy! And grief is so so personal, so take those signs and keep them close. Pouring yourself into things that make you feel like you and make you happy, will no doubt turn into something wonderfully creative. Gardening sounds like a beautiful way to connect to yourself, and to your dad. Nauture is so healing,( and so is thrifting lol) I appreciate you sharing. Even though you don't owe anyone anything except yourself, we have all gone through a loss in one way or another and it's nice to not feel alone. Take is slow and show yourself grace. So happy you have a great partner to lean on as well ❤ Much love

[@cindykeesee3312]

Oh Rachelle, I am so sorry about the loss of your Dad. I lost my Dad a couple years ago and he was my hero. I pray that you are comforted at this time.

[@tara1638]

Oh hun I’m so so sorry. Grief is a tough thing to get through but you can and you will. Sending love and hugs. ❤

[@senabijakocan3994]

So sorry for your lost. Take care of yourself.

[@MotorCityBurbs]

Im so sorry for the loss of your dad and fur baby. I can't imagine how it feels to lose a parent. I have lost 4 dogs, and it still digs at my soul. I'll be praying for you. Seek the Lord, he'll help you❤️

[@em1326]

I can't express how sorry I am. I know how close you were to your dad. I always loved when he was in your vlogs. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

[@luxconcept]

Rachelle, so sorry for your loss. We lost someone incredibly important to us unexepectedly a couple years ago and it was so hard. It's true that the conversations look different now because they can't respond in the way we want but they can definitely still happen. The person is still with you, it's just not on the same level as before. Grief is not linear and it comes in waves like you said, but grief is just love with no place to go so remember that you will flow through it and it will flow through you

[@msdork61]

I’m so sorry for your recent losses. Grief has its own timetable so please be extra extra kind and patient with yourself while you ride those waves. Enjoy your dad’s energy and signs he sends you and try not to over think them. I hope you know you have lots of folks out here who you may have never met but care a lot about you and Everett and your family especially in times like these. Sending lots of love and hugs your way! ♥️

[@mariacanini9635]

I’ve lost both my parents and its waves of grief that come and go. I hope you continue your channel💕

[@RachelleSpier]

awe im so sorry to hear that, its so hard to deal with and im sorry you know this pain as well. Thank you so much for the insight and encouragment. XO

[@carriem1183]

I’m so, so sorry for your loss. Allow yourself to take comfort from the signs you’ve received. It doesn’t matter if they are “real” or not; what matters is that they make you feel better. Sending you love!

[@BeautifulU27]

Oh Rachelle, I’m so so sorry. There’s not much to say but I hope you never feel guilty about doing things that will get you through this. From what we seen of your dad through your videos, he was such an absolute light. Sending you a big hug 🥺🩷

[@ClosetShopaholic]

Omg I am so sorry. Those signs are totally your dad, I firmly believe it. He will always be there with you and guiding you just in a different way❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@purpledynoo]

I am so so sorry for your loss. I loved when your dad made appearances in your videos. Sending you so much love and healing thoughts. 💛

[@mindyyoung5695]

I’m so sorry about your dad. He was so fun and sweet when he was on your videos. Losing a parent is one of the hardest things ever. Thinking of you and Everett.

[@ericaperez7855]

I am sorry for your loss. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@carrietar]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Your dad seemed like a great guy in your videos. I know you’ll miss him.

[@MM-kx9ue]

Rachelle is ok to feel all those emotions. The same happened to me when my father passed away. You’re in my prayers but I believe your dad is with you and the signs are true, believe. Blessings !

[@jantruszkowski5064]

I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. I saw your last vlog with him and the bond between you two was evident. He seemed like a very nice and caring man. The signs are real so don’t doubt yourself. He’s sending you messages he’s OK and at Peace.

[@kurlibee]

I am so incredibly sorry to hear of your dad’s passing. Such shocking news. He seemed like such a wonderful person and it was always so fun seeing him in your videos. I am praying for you and for your family member that has health issues. Sending you and Everett love🙏💕

[@SandraGarcia-wx1en]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Absolutely loved seeing you and your dad in your videos. Embrace the signs, I did and still do. My prayers for you and your family. Sending hugs and much love 💗

[@nadiadenning2035]

I’m so sorry to hear the passing of your dad I loved seeing him in the videos grief is so hard..😢 keeping you in my thoughts

[@El-bi3mw]

My heart 💔 for you. You and your Dad were Twins. When I saw him in your video I immediately felt your connection with him. Life is a precious gift and each day is a blessing. I lost my Dad as well a while ago and we were very close and understood each other like no other. I still feel my Dads presence which gives me comfort. Take time alone and be thankful for the wonderful times you had together here on earth. Bless your heart ✨️ We are never ready to loose our parents. They are our protectors and when they pass it makes us feel unsafe or lost. The comfort is missing. You will gain strength from the tough things in life. You will grow from it. Bless you and your Family. Dont stop being great! Make him proud 😉💐

[@ThriftingGrandmaOf19]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I do understand as I liss my dad some years ago, and my mom about 3 yrs. I know how hard it is. I liss my 2nd oldest son February 2017, and I'm still dealing with his loss. Hang in there honey, I will be praying for your strength.

[@carolynhoppenjans6307]

Sorry for your loss prayers 🙏

[@eldahernandez9609]

I’m so sorry for your losses. I lost my parents to Covid in 2020 less than a month apart. It is very difficult… even almost 4 years later. I’m praying for you and your friend. God’s blessings and comfort to you. 🙏🙏🙏 Glad you have Everett, my husband was also my rock.

[@kaleygreen1149]

Rachelle 😢 sending you so much love and light. ✨💗 please take care of yourself during this time. Do one thing a day that brings you joy. I know your dad is watching you from above and will continue to keep you safe. Tragic loss is so hard. I lost my dad 12 years ago and it’s been a journey through all of grief’s stages. take care of yourself girly 💗

[@ginaketter6959]

Keeping you and your family in prayer. Take your time we will be waiting for you!❤

[@yerlee1707]

Rachelle, it's so heartbreaking to hear about your Dad. Sending you my thoughts and prayers.

[@moshiergirl]

All my love and prayers to you! Thank you for sharing your dad with us through the years. He always brought a big smile to my face and the love you shared was so obvious. Having lost my momma, I can feel you on the waves of grief. Hang in there, it does eventually get a bit easier.

[@claudiacarolinapaziuk]

So sorry to hear about your losses 😢 I will pray for you and your family to have strength, comfort and peace from the Lord during this time 🙏🏽❤️

[@Allyson1961]

I’m so very sorry you’ve lost your dad. I do believe that our loved ones send us signs. Being an executor of an estate is a lot of work. But you will get through it. I lost both my parents almost 2 years ago, 3 months apart. It’s hard. Take it day by day. Sending love.

[@marcellagarcia777]

I’m soooo sorry for your loss. Your Dad was a sweet man and I enjoyed when he would go thrift with you. Take as much time as you need to heal. 🙏🏽 Prayers for you and your family.

[@WAG24205]

Rachelle. My heart and love goes out to you. I am so so heartbroken to hear about your Dads passing. I was so close to my Dad as well. I always feel him with me. Do not think you are losing it. Sending you many prayers and much love as you navigate the future. Prayers for your family member. Grab whatever joy you can, however you can and know you are loved and supported.

[@laroycecornell-jl2ph]

Gm sorry for your loss with your Dad and your dog. I am going through that process now. I lost a family member last Thursday and I treated my cousin like my son. He is a few years older than my sons. So they grew up together. The family is just finding out he out medical issues that he or his wife didn’t share with us. So he was suffering and we didn’t know to help bc his wife kept him away from or she would say and do mean things to him. He also was a disabled Veteran w/PTSD. Prayers to you and your family. Take your time. We as your subscribers will be waiting for you. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🌹🌹🌹

[@rainadegraaf8177]

Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear this and will be praying and sending you and your family tons of love and peace. so so sorry.

[@Yamimommy300]

I’m so sorry for your loss I could only imagine loosing two family members, your dog and dad I’m so sorry prayers for you!!!! I couldn’t imagine we love you🥺❤️‍🩹

[@tanjamutlu8172]

I’m so sorry for your loss ❤but he’ll always be with you, because he loves you and cares about you. Those are the feelings that never leave. One day you’ll look back and you’ll be thankful to had a dad like him, and that will give you a wonderful feeling of peace. Sending hugs ❤❤❤

[@ljiljanatudek6540]

Rachelle! My sincere condolences. Take as much time as you need and we'll be patient.

[@A.L.I.S.O.N]

I can definitely feel this. I have been going through similar as my best friend passed, my momma passed, my husband left and pets passed & lost friends & family back to back. It's like a freaking country song (lol). It's very traumatic & can cause CPTSD. Praying for your comfort & moments of joy, peace & humor. ((Big hugs))

[@mariabryant6582]

I am so, so sorry. I believe in signs. I have lost both my parents, and feel that I have gotten signs from both of them. I know how hard it is, and I will be praying for you and your family member.

[@heidim1377]

So sorry Rachelle. I lost both my parents. It’s so difficult

[@__76--_-646]

Oh Rachel I am so sorry for your loss. It is extremely difficult to come to terms with the passing of family. Lots of hugs and prayers. One day at a time. When my mom passed i was a mess. Your dad will always be with you. Believe ❤

[@Iris-gy2mi]

Omg Rachelle! I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad. I love the vlogs of you and him thrifting and the bond you had with him was palpable. He seemed like an awesome Dad and a kind hearted person. He will always be a part of you through the memories you share. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I hope you’re able to find moments of peace when the weight of the world is on your shoulders. 🕊️

[@g.mitchell8915]

Sometimes life really does pile on the grief, and you feel like it's going to break you. If you have to, just take one moment at a time and get through it as best you can. Whatever you can do is fine, don't expect too much from yourself or put any added pressure on yourself. Time is your friend, and it will help you get and feel better. Love to you and your family, and I look forward to more videos whenever you are ready.

[@SignatureShades-zh3qq]

Don't question these signs ❤️ I feel energy from my family that has passed away and was told lnce that my aunt, who has been gone for 2 years now, leaves random dimes. Today I actually found one dime on the floor in the middle of my garage. Hang in there because it will all pass and one day you will see him again ❤️ Prayers and love sent to you and do whatever you need to cope and don't question everything that is happening around you.

[@sabrenazonneveld7431]

Hang in there. Your dad will always be with you.

[@Robing6062]

I am so sorry for your loss, I felt the same way with the loss of my mother. Prayers for you and your family.❤😢

[@aoifeosullivan6694]

💔 so sorry to hear this news...loved when your dad featured in your vlogs. You have such a connection. Look after yourself

[@AsGlamAsIAm]

So sorry to hear of your losses! Thank you for sharing with us and please take the time you need to heal....it definitely comes in waves

[@heidim1377]

So sorry Rachel

[@heatherroberts1756]

So sorry for your loss. I loved seeing your dad in your videos. Please know this signs are him and letting you know he’s okay and that you will be okay ❤ Grief is one of the hardest things you will get through.I lost my uncle last year who was like a dad to me and exactly how you are feeling I was feeling and still am.. it will get easier .. you will have good days and bad days but you will get better and get your new normal. Take care of your self and heal ❤

[@kimberleemitchell9588]

0:45 I am so sorry to hear about your losses. Praying for you…we appreciate you!

[@RachelleSpier]

Oh, I thank you so much. I really really appreciate it. 2024 has been a doozy for me, but just trying to hang in there and really appreciate what I have while I’m here! 🩷 this can be a crazy one. Thanks so much for the love I appreciate it.

[@Cathryn37]

So sorry for your loss. You and Everette will be in my prayers

[@dwanaharper8006]

I am so sorry for your loss dealing with grief can be very overwhelming I loss my dad in 2022 I pray for your comfort 🙏🏾

[@michelletorres7106]

I’m so sorry ❤

[@seashell3200]

I’m so sorry for your loss…that is so difficult. Sending hugs 💔

[@sharonmac45]

I am so sorry for your loss. I am keeping you in my prayers.

[@jeanlieb5914]

So terribly sorry for your enormous loss. Your dad seemed so cool , I can't imagine how devasting this is for you , Thoughts and prayers for you and your father, hang in there dear Rachelle.

[@evelynrodgers7499]

So sorry for your loss; he will be missed in your videos. I really enjoyed seeing you to together. Prayers up on your behalf and for your other family member. I have been where you are; remember the good times Rachel.

[@kmoj1996]

❤ I know this feeling all too well. My daddy was my best friend. Grief sucks. My condolences.

[@maijkenswanson9700]

Sending love and prayers

[@victoria.galvin]

I'm so sorry Rachelle. I'm sending you so much love. ♥

[@hayleyt168]

Sending you so much strength and love Rachelle ❤some of my favourite videos from you had your dad in them ! I never had my dad in my life - so, when I would see your videos with dad in them they were so wholesome, I wished my dad and I had a relationship / bond like that ! So grateful you shared him with us. Love and light x x

[@Cactuscat5]

Heartbreaking. There is no wrong way to grieve. I’m sorry for your pain. He’s with you, and so is God. May you feel comfort in that. Sending prayers

[@tonyarush5871]

I'm so very sorry. I watched your video of you taking him for his knee surgery. I've lost both my parents one suddenly one who was ill for awhile. My dad's been gone since 2001 and my mom in 2018. The pain never goes away but you do learn to live with it. However there are still times that it hits me like a brick and it just takes my breath away. Just know you carry him with you always. Prayers

[@soniatookes6866]

Just saw your video. Sorry to hear about your loss. I also lost my father. It’s been about 1516 years I promise you it will get better but you will also miss him. That part would never change but know that he’s is always there, and always cheers the time that you had together that’s why it’s always important to always make memories so when you miss them, you can always remind yourself the time that you all had together sending you many prayers and love❤

[@juliastern6000]

I'm so very sorry that you have had so many losses and bad things all at once. I'm wishing you peace and light during this heavy time along with my deepest condoloences. I'm also sending healing thoughts to your close family member. Those signs I believe are truly signs & your dad communicating with you...try not to over think them. It means that you are open to receiving them and maybe if you over analyze them, you won't be as open to receiving them.

[@shopandsavelifestyle]

I'm so sorry Sending you my deepest condolences. Praying for you during this difficult time 🙏🙏

[@misscarriexox]

I’m so sorry it’s been so rough for you.. I loved seeing your dad in your videos! He was such a bright light and I could see how close you guys were and how much he loved you ❤ I think you should stay open and accept all the signs because he is here all around you just not in this physical world ❤️

[@ralucamindru7739]

You are such a beautiful person and I am extremely sorry that you are going through this. I cannot even imagine how you must feel… I think that life sometimes it’s just not fair. I’ll keep you in my prayers! Stay strong! ❤

[@mariabucci4893]

My heart is with you 😢

[@RachelleSpier]

Thank u 🙏🏻

[@586Rexford]

So, so sad to hear this. I loved seeing you and your dad together as he was too cute. My heart goes out to you and your family.

[@teddiegirl]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and your loved ones ❤

[@lisatemple-donnelly1282]

Rachelle I am so sorry that you lost your Dad. It is truly the hardest thing to go through (besides the loss of Ziggy). I’m sending hugs and prayers to you and your family ❤️❤️🙏🙏❤️❤️

[@aliluck3903]

I’m sorry for your loss

[@marylanglais6919]

So very sorry ❤

[@marykayconway1388]

My heart goes out to you and your family. I understand. It takes time

[@Ro-pv4fr]

Rachelle thank you for sharing your life .I’m so sorry for your loss and news of family friend situation. I’ll pray for you and your husband,family 🙏🏽🙏🏽 The signs are definitely real ! When my Grandma passed I would see feathers and pennies 😇👀🥰

[@KimJacksonHealthyLe-velbod]

My heart aches for you😢 I know we don’t know each other, but please know I’m sending you love, light and prayers of strength. ❤🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@jennyhonda226]

My condolences to you & your family, he will be missed! My favorite videos are with you both going thrifting at the DI together. Your videos were the first I watched on KZbin. Please take care & keep busy doing what makes you happy. 🫶🏻

[@71579musiclover]

Oh no I’m truly sorry for your loss. Big hug

[@sweetsunshine2208]

So very sorry for your loss 😢❤ big hugs🤗🤗 he will always be there with you ❤

[@Lastkings956]

Oh Rachelle I’m so sorry for your loss. May God give you the strength to continue with your Chanel and your new life normal. I to was a Daddy’s girl. It never gets easier but it does get manageable. Life does change and it may seem unfair but we can’t change it. The only thing we have are our memories of our loved ones. Cherish them and always keep him in your heart. He will always be around you and he’ll let you know. Prayers for your family member and may they recover fully and quickly. God bless you and your family always. Hugs and love 🙏🙏🙏♥️♥️

[@kimweller6815]

So very sorry for your loss. Sending you love and healing prayers.

[@rubyadams6564]

Oh my gosh I’m so sorry for your loss of your dad, I believe in the signs, showing he is still with you and watching over🤍sending healing prayers