Twinnuendo | Episode 11: Coming Out

[@sumacmusac]

Darby entering her video essayist arc with the bisexual lighting

[@sumacmusac]

Also! SO glad Darby brought up the trains flag incident, truly a hall of fame moment from ru

[@samhicks7664]

​@DianaStevens42lmao

[@Hyram]

Drew, your story with your parents is unnervingly similar to mine. Having not spoken to my Mormon parents in almost 10 years, I’m so proud of you & grateful for sharing your story. So many don’t understand how many families have abandoned their children just because of sexuality, even today. Just wanted to say thank you ❤️🫶

[@maelt4347]

Drew got me crying up in here, YOU GOT ME GAL

[@kiippykiip]

I read this like Violet playing Alyssa in snatch game when she slams her hand on the table and her nail flies off

[@maelt4347]

@@kiippykiip period

[@spookymama444]

The mother wound is so incredibly painful. Sending you all the love Drew ❤

[@THEinstapotth0t]

"...And it didn't match his panties" killed me. Grants so funny and that was so quick I almost missed it. 😂

[@connorbowen8867]

I know you’re twins but you keep swapping older/younger brother energy and it’s so fun to watch the switch happen

[@eilaye]

Exited to hear grant’s coming out experience as a sinner

[@JustWordsAndOpinions]

How you gonna hear it if you left 😔

[@albirdto]

starting to think he also had a beer at a party

[@untalented7880]

This broke my heart. These conversations are important. ❤

[@scarynoise996]

If it means anything grant, I noticed the mustache, and I hold space for it

[@Olivejoos]

Drew, Grant, this was an important episode!!! Drew, I have the EXACT same thing with my mother!!! The fact is, they are completely UNABLE to do what we need them to do. It’s not about us. They are so broken they cannot ever really see us. I love you. You are worth all the stars in the universe. You both are healing us while you talk.

[@LeoMafraArt]

Darby being so excited to do the older Judy voice was so adorable lol (And the impression was legitimately impressive)

[@chloemagica4056]

Was not expecting Drew to start crying and for this to get actually dark and serious damn. Thanks for sharing your journey and being so honest and open about all of this

[@THEinstapotth0t]

Not the stacked AI grannies... I have questions about Grants Algorithm. 😂 And the MAW MAW story, omg. 😭

[@omargosh]

Darby: I'm so sorry. For you, for me, for all us queers trying to survive our difficult pasts, and to keep going in the present. Thank you for sharing, and for your positive reminder about our strength. And thank you, Grant, for your empathetic response (something I have a hard time ever imagining from my own brothers).

[@brk726]

We love you Darby. Thank you for sharing so much.

[@kmoji4204]

Drew, I had this exact conversation (it gets too real) with my twin sister last night and I know precisely how you feel. It feels like they have so much energy and conviction about their beliefs until it comes to defending you. You deserve to be actively loved and cared for by those who claim you. Love ya darbs

[@vincent_2232]

Darby’s look today is DOING IT FOR ME! Like I’m fully going to attempt to copy this look because it’s so cute

[@W1nterS0ldier]

Darby immediately being silly after was also what I needed. Genuinely thank you for opening up and sharing. Darby you are such a joy to watch and an amazing entertainer. I just want you to know how much you are loved by so many people now.

[@margar3181]

Love y'all! ❤️ And with thoughts of child Drew in my heart, when my kid gets home from school, I'm giving them an additional extra special hug and a "I love you no matter what. Always." ❤

[@Super_Grover_]

Aww I had just stopped crying then I read this 😭😭

[@christiancurtis5674]

My heart goes out to you Drew, because I had a similar experience with my mom. My mom was very hard on me growing up. Long story short, We had a very bad relationship when I was young. But once I got older and confronted her about it and we had a conversation even though she says she doesn't remember half the things she didn't deny it. She accepted what she did was wrong and told me she was sorry from the bottom of her heart and now me my mom are best of friends. So I hope your relationship with your family turns out that way as well. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to share this story. It will definitely speak out to many people.

[@eduardorosa6239]

Seeing Drew cry made me reflect on the fact that sometimes we think we are healed "enough" or strong "enough" to deal with anything, but there is a place is our soul that still needs love and care. My relationship with my parents got really better this past few years, but there are things they've done that still hurt and they still do not acknowledge it.

[@teybd]

these episodes are so beautiful but so heartbreaking! it's devastating to realise how little we need from parents who have traumatised us, and yet how unwilling they can be to face any discomfort to save us. thank you for speaking on it, you deserve the world! ❤️

[@aaaaaikaaaaa]

Darby reliving when she came out to her dad is sweet but SO HEARTBREAKING knowing how he is now as a person (based on how the twins talked about him, I don't personally know him lol). All the love to you, Drew!

[@nataliehirst7152]

What a moving episode. Thank you for sharing Drew. Sending you love ❤

[@fitzpatrickcasey15]

hi darby, grant, and IMHO community, my name is CJ (im 26, he/him, from chicago) and i first off wanna say ive been a fan since the beginning! i've watched you since back in the sh*t with s*ju days and i always felt so seen by your sense of humor. and chan and alexis, plus i think grant is a great addition

[@robynhall3347]

I completely agree with Drew, all I've ever wanted from my dad was an acknowledgment that my brother and I had a messed up childhood and that he was the main cause of everyone's misery. Instead we get, "Well that doesn't sound like me." Or my favorite which is, "Well if that did happen it was because you were such awful kids and I had no other option." 🙄🙄 this is why no one in the family speaks to him now and he will die alone.

[@MathJfm]

Man, I had pretty much the EXACT same coming out with my mom. I was forced out (she snooped in my room and then confronted me), we fought, we cried, she blamed me, she blamed herself for not raising me right, and all the fun little things that a lot of queer ppl i'm sure have experienced as well. For three months we barely spoke (living in the same house, I was 17), she'd come into my room to look at me and cry before leaving without a word, she beat me once (I didnt fight back), etc. Things calmed down, and after a couple years when I'd bring up all the horrible stuff she said and what happened, she'd just say "that doesnt sound like me" or "I dont remember it that way" or even "I dont remember doing that at all". Thankfully, contrary to Drew's story, after a couple more years she did come around to say she was sorry for how she acted, that it came from ignorance and fear, and that she supports me now even though it doesnt make up for the years she failed to. So yeah, my relationship with my mother is quite good nowadays, though I dont really share personal things with her anymore and definitely carry a lot of trauma due to that and many other things that happened in my forming years.

[@I-Am-MT]

Thank you, Drew, for bravely sharing your story about your past trauma. Your vulnerability helps so many of us feel less alone. And Grant, you’re the supportive brother that all of us in the Queer community dream of having. You both are truly inspiring. ❤ Con Amor SIEMPRE - MT

[@londongirl2012]

My weekly reminder it’s Tuesday. Thanks you, you beautiful duo❤

[@samuelpenagos6745]

Not even half into the episode and I got another IMHO notification, that homework is NOT getting done

[@LunaBloom99]

Oh Drew, my heart broke when you started crying about your mom not giving you that basic protection against your dad's vitriol. Moreso when you immediately quelled those emotions because of the futility in crying about what can never be. It was so relatable, and my most earnest hope for you is, for lack of a better phrase, that your mom has a come to Jesus moment.

[@Polarseltzerdrinker]

Drew and Grant, I am so proud of you for sharing so many intimate pieces of yourself and your pasts. I love the way you never shut one another down when you have different remembrances of stories; you listen and acknowledge the other’s experience. This has become my new favorite podcast.

[@theorem7965]

My mother's the exact same way. She said a lot of hurtful things to me when I was a child that caused me depression (which im still dealing with 20 years later) and these days she's like "did i said that? oh i don't think i said that! i would never say that!" and it drives me even more crazy than i already am, i hate it with a passion.

[@SailorYen89]

being vulnerable fucking sucks, but thank you so much for sharing stuff like this.

[@TheFloon]

Darby/Drew: All the hugs in the world to you. You are a perfect example of the strength and resilience you mentioned, and thank you for being willing to be open like this. One of my very earliest memories is of my mother telling me to not be so girly out in public because people will think I'm gay. Straight people just don't even have a clue how damaging that kind of thing is, especially when I had literally no clue what she even meant by gay, just that she was telling me that being myself was somehow wrong. Similarly is that feeling you mentioned when you know your parent snooped. It absolutely feels like the rug has been pulled out from under you and the world is falling apart.

[@kiippykiip]

I’ve been severely depressed and numbed from antidepressants for about two years, but hearing Drew’s story and cry made me tear up. But the moment i truly broke down is when he said fart fart diarrhea 😞

[@loomis88]

Darbs, thanks for being so open. Hearing similar stories of gay experiences growing up helps a lot of us that have similar backgrounds. 💜💜💜 love you

[@payden86]

Every week I find myself thinking how much I really appreciate this podcast. I completely relate to "youre so-and-so's favorite" and having that strong connection with someone only to later feel betrayed once you're sexuality comes into the picture. I also have been told that my sexuality would be the result of a family member's death (spoiler alert: it wasn't, it was a weird medical thing instead!). I just want to thank you both for being vulnerable in sharing your stories and Drew in articulating that what so many of us want is just basic acknowledgement, acceptance, and love ❤

[@EmmaFlorez]

I love you guys. 💞 People who put their faith before their own family live in an alternate reality where they love a version of us that doesn't exist and they can't hear our truth. Grant is such a great example of the opposite- loving someone enough to see them and do whatever it takes to fully accept them. I've been on a bit of a journey with one of my siblings (who I call my twin separated by 4 years), and I feel really lucky we get to be chosen family and process our childhood together

[@LGAR4]

I wasn’t prepared for how hard this made me cry. I love you guys. Sorry for my parasocial relationship with you both. This episode was so much. Every human being on this planet is just a kid who wants love

[@EzraTheHomie]

At a loss for words, thank you for sharing your story Drew. Thank you both for a deeply emotional and moving episode, for making us all feel seen. Also really think youre both great storytellers and hilarious. All in all, so glad that you both have each other

[@albirdto]

Really enjoying the you guys getting vulnerable and honest about your family situations. This has quickly become one of my favorite podcasts, thank you so much for platforming all of these issues regarding religion and being (half) LGBT! Got me tearing up during my bike ride 🥲❤️

[@albirdto]

sincerely, the gay who gave u bird stickers at Dragcon hehe

[@rossanovigna6275]

Darby... I cried too... And we have similar fathers. My father has problems with me, with my brother, with my sister, with my mom... And he too doesn't think he is the problem... This episode was the heaviest one yet, but I hope they continue. It's comforting to know different people from all around the world face similar problems. Love from Brazil 🇧🇷❣️

[@ElAychJay]

Thank you for being so vulnerable with us.

[@Bazibishop]

Omg I love you guys so much ❤. Such important conversations to have. I love how raw and honest you guys are and you comparing notes. So impactful. Seeing drew cry has me all emotional ❤

[@glooperscooper]

If I wasn't so dehydrated I'd be crying rn. That was so heartbreaking and echos my coming out with my step dad

[@karinaschulerferro3815]

this podcast has such a perfect blend of entertainment and catharsis

[@user-lp2nz7vq6b]

You are worth more to so many people, Drew. So many of us have our days brightened because of you. You bring so many of us joy and laughter. I discovered IMHO during COVID and I have watched every single thing you and Alexis have appeared in, and the amount of joy you bring to me is something I am so grateful for. I know our love and support will never make that specific pain better, but my god, you are worth so much more than you know and she is missing out.

[@albertqhumperdinck]

You just nailed what I was trying to figure out how to express, I agree 100%

[@beaujenson7123]

God this made me just cry for the first time in months. Thank you guys for this show. I hope my family can be as lovely as Grant is someday

[@RuthieHanan]

Darby, as a full-time video editor who also recently upgraded the beefiest MacBook- congratulations🍾🥂🥳 Your editing life will be significantly easier and you’ll get so much time back🙌👏

[@matthewpetesdad]

Favorite episode so far. Love you both! You are making the world a better place by sharing your journey. ❤

[@benjaminmead9529]

Oh, Drew. You are so worthy of love and so worth it. Hearing your conversations between you and Grant make me think of conversations I've had with my own brother. Lots of love to you.

[@caleba9648]

I just want to say thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm 31 and not out to my family, and there is some overlap between my situation and what you went through prior to the forced outing. Its a hard situation to be in, but when I hear what you went through, I also know that I can get through it and live for myself and do what I need to do for my own happiness. I've been scared to cut that cord because of the fear of being disowned or kicked out, but l know it will be worth it in the end to start living on my own terms and not abiding by what I think my folks expect of me. Again, thank you so much for being open about this, it means so much to me to hear from other queer people who know what it's like to go through this pain.

[@domenicaalmeida6739]

drew you deserve the world and all the healing ❤️‍🩹

[@Embers.of.Esoterika]

I've said it before and I will echo the sentiment: this is gold. You're mining absolute gold here y'all. 💕

[@purenrg9179]

I love you so much Darby, you are worthy of love and acceptance. As a mother of lil kiddo, I cannot fathom not accepting my child for being themselves. You are such a light, and both of your openess is beautiful. Thank you both for letting us in. 💜

[@foxtrapped]

I've tried to write up a comment on two episodes now and sort of fail every time so I'm just gonna say: I'm very grateful y'all are having these conversations and sharing them with us. Drew, I feel the rip in my chest as you say you just want your mom to see you as something with worth. Parent wounds are so invasive but I hope it feels a little lighter to speak about

[@Jrd555]

I just wanna say this is my new favorite thing 😊😊

[@dajawo84]

I don't often comment on YT videos, but I have to say how much I appreciate this podcast. Growing up gay in the south (Coincidentally, in Memphis and Collierville for much of my childhood) and having an evangelical (Pentecostal) father, I relate to so many of your experiences. I feel like you're telling my story. So, Thank you.

[@LeoLemons13]

Darby it broke my heart seeing you cry. I’ve had similar situations with my family and I’m so sorry and my heart goes out to you. Also hearing Grant apologize gave me hope that my family would possibly do the same. I love this podcast

[@RhysChristian490]

Oh my gosh, this episode broke my heart. Sending love your way.

[@Bazibishop]

Deeply relate to darbys sex addiction stories ❤ I’ve never heard anyone speak about these issues love you mama

[@jecs8124]

I’m so happy you two reconnected, watching your dynamic together and how funny your schtick is is so wholesome ❤

[@alizashane4616]

omg Darbs I just love you so much. Thank you for opening up in front of all us... You've given us so much...

[@lisaluv3000]

Thanks so much to both of you for sharing - sending loads of love to you both. ❤ Drew, you are an absolute treasure. ❤❤❤

[@peytonc6368]

We love you so much Drew-got me sobbing!! ❤️ You are worth SO MUCH and deserve all the love in the world. As someone who also has a mother who refuses to accept the hurt and trauma she’s caused, healing can be the hardest thing in the world. And you are doing it!!! I know I’m just an internet stranger who has developed a para social relationship with you but you have made such a positive impact on my own life just by being yourself. Sending so much love ❤️❤️❤️

[@Buffaloreplaced]

This podcast is so beautiful and healing (stacked grannies included)

[@DonttalktoGrant]

Finally someone with some taste.

[@AlexoBlanco1]

Thank you for sharing your story with us, Darby. Your strength gave me the strength to call my counselor up again after a few years hiatus. Twinnuendo is doing meaningful things guys 🤍

[@molly2717]

I'm so sorry for everything you've been through. You're such an amazing person, and I wish I could be your mom since I'm so proud of you! I know I'm just a stranger, but you've brought me a lot of joy and laughter in some really dark times. Much love to you, Darby. - Molly

[@davidkonevky7372]

Not darby doing naomi smalls' lipsync song when asked to do her judy impression 💀😭

[@Unholydiamonds]

Beautiful episode, thank you both for being open and vulnerable 🌟🌟

[@albertqhumperdinck]

Thank you for this, I`m sending so much love and admiration to you both for this sincerity and honesty. (And the sick moustache doesn`t hurt either.)

[@PavelKrypto]

Really powerful stuff; it's a testament to your strength that you have overcome such pain.

[@ChristianStran]

Amazing episode. Thanks to Grant for carrying this with us! ❤🥲

[@ianbertoldi]

Thank you Drew for being so honest and real here; It makes me feel better somehow about my own journey and hard times with my family. There's something so powerful about accountability. I remember having fights as a kid with my sister and she always would go there (to the 'you're gay'); when I finally came out she immediately stopped me and apologized for the years of bullying and not being supportive! I swear that all the bad feelings I kept towards her simply vanished that same moment! Just like that! It's never too late to feel you're loved.

[@velvtbttrfly79]

Omggg Arsenic and old lace! Such a favorite, used to watch it with my mom all the time. Mortimer!

[@frankiejayverdaasdonk3664]

God dammit Im here crying at work... Love you, Darby and Barby (straight boy Darby), love the podcast.

[@vickyfrederico4784]

I get so excited when I see a twinnuendo drop in my recommended!!

[@atorwlf]

darby i just love you i just want to say as someone who’s mother only “loves” me out of obligation. your sentiment was so real. I haven’t felt that seen in a while. thank you

[@jilla8265]

GRANT YOUR ALGORITHM IS IN SHAMBLES MY DUDE

[@javyjavyjavyjavy]

or it's serving EXACTLY

[@Basey]

Thank you Drew for sharing your story ❤

[@miloreen5998]

Damn. This episode made me cry sad tears AND tears of laughter. You guys ❤

[@benmendoza9225]

Cried with you Drew. Felt that even though that was my dad for me.

[@juandiegomartinez2927]

As a queer Catholic whose parents are very queerphobic, I fully feel what Darby said about their mother and just wanting for her mom to protect her. It shouldn’t be that hard. Me fully crying when she said that.

[@hallm3lbp]

I’ve no idea if my donation came through in time but yay so happy you were able to buy a new laptop chip thingie 🥰 hopefully the editing is less stressful now!

[@xGoldNGuyx]

Thank you for sharing Drew. Your story unfortunately reminds me so much of my own. At times I’m sometimes hatful that I was “outed” or discovered because I don’t know how long I would have been someone other than myself. It’s been about 8 years since then and I’ve come so far, with sooo much confidence built. However, there’s still so much more work for me to do. Hearing your current struggle with how to deal with your parents resonates with me and I just wanted to say that you are not alone in it. We are all working to make our families better over all. Not change who they are, just help them grow as people.

[@happylittlebush9541]

Wow, you gave warning, but here I am sobbing. It was like you were telling my story. Just know if someone is seeing this that is feeling that they are not enough, you are 100% worth better than this. You are worth love. Also, sometimes your chosen family is going to be there for you in place of your birth family. ❤

[@DrunkMurray]

I hope this doesn't come off as rude or insensitive, but each episode I've listened to I'm always absolutely floored by how traumatic your childhoods were and how your parents have acted towards you. Its not something that anyone should have to go though. Drew, I admire you so much for being able to get where you are today and I'm so happy you have a brother that despite growing up in that environment has learned to open their heart and mind and totally support you.

[@Alex-un7ug]

we love u sm drew ❤

[@LunovaLabs]

I love this podcast. As a queer person (we get to choose our family) we spend a lot of time distracting ourselves from the deep hurt we feel. Keep up the great work ❤❤❤

[@fkaciggs]

Darby I'm so sorry, I wish I could take all of that hurt away for you. I think one of the hardest things about going through a tumultuous relationship like the one with your parents was put succinctly by my therapist, "the world is so unfair, horrible things happen to people that they don't deserve and then something that compounds how unfair the world is, is that it is then their responsibility to heal from those horrible things." I'm glad you've got someone in your family, on your side and listening to the way you've been made to feel. I hope that you find strength and peace in that.

[@Mitchell.Gus.2007]

Drew’s hair looks so good!

[@Theinvisiblehippie]

I haven’t cried like this in a while. Love you Drew! Thank you to both of you for sharing your stories with us. It makes me feel not alone for at least a little bit out of the day ❤️

[@Odie_boy]

As a queer (and probably emotionally stunted) person I can't cry when I am sad very often, but this episode did make me cry. We love you ❤so sorry you had to go through that

[@confuzzledandbefused]

I’ve relistened to all your eps so far a couple of times while I work. Just love this podcast and your chats so much. Would love for Amanda to guest if she’s up for it. From one damaged christian to two others, keep up the great work, it’s genuinely important

[@confuzzledandbefused]

Okay yes just finished the ep in tears. Sad yet hopeful tears. Another great ep lol

[@jesykahashope]

Grant is such a wonderful brother ❤ If I had a brother, I hope he would be like Grant

[@DannyGoldstein]

Drew, it’s so true what you said about how boomer parents focus so much on their intentions versus the impact of their actions. As an older Gen Z, I’m going through the same thing with my older Gen X family members. On the rare occasion I actually speak up for myself when someone says or does something that hurts me, it’s like my family (particularly my mother) just blocks out everything I’m saying and goes on and on about they “only had good intentions” after doing something completely messed up. I’ve tried explaining how I appreciate that they thought they were trying to do what’s best for me, but if that they continue to cross lines that we’ve talked about many times in the past (and that they agreed to respect), I’m going to have to put more and more space between us in order to protect myself. That being said, I feel like I’ve finally started to see slight improvements here and there over the past couple years, but it’s wild how long it’s taken for them to even faintly grasp the concept of a boundary. Although, I guess I shouldn’t really be surprised considering they never grew up with any. I just so frustrating to rarely get a genuine apology, or at the very least, acknowledgment that they were out of line, so this episode really hit hard for me

[@knoxia]

Love you Darby, just remember that there are so many people that are cheering for you and see you as a light in their day.

[@zeldaspapa]

Everyone should be watching this Podcast....already my favorite

[@zeldaspapa]

This one of the most emotional episodes....I can relate love you

[@MostlyGhostlyB]

y’all’s humor brightens my tuesday every week thank you