In Conversation with Dr Joanne Cacciatore: Bearing the Unbearable - Grief & Loss

[@bernicemiera2092]

Spoke to & caressed my heart. Timely. I was making plans to release my physical body from the emotional pain that has consumed it. After listening to the podcast, I am delaying that decision, & chose to spend my morning sharing it with others. Thank you for insight, knowledge, & words that will radiate out & possibly save lives. 💔😢🤔🤗

[@samadhiretreatsmeditation6507]

Holding you in mind with love and compassion. 🙏

[@lolly_golightly]

Thank you. I lost my husband suddenly to suicide loss three months ago and have seen the terror of such a thing being possible play out in some ugly ways. In the need to regain “safety”, some have besmirched my marriage, my love for my husband or have attacked his character or love for his children. There’s a desperate need to “other” me and my grief because it’s so awful and too much to sit with it being something none of us are truly safe from. I’ve realised I’ll have to look to my own instincts, the wisdom we just have when we need it, and invite it in. The only way through anything is through it. There’s no avoiding it. It’s very shocking to find how little societal wisdom and support you find in these moments, death being so universal. Thank you for being a voice of wisdom for those of us who need to hear it’s natural and of course it hurts if we loved deeply, and it won’t kill us. It might if we don’t live with it and try to ignore / avoid the pain. That’s a way to get very sick.

[@davidgreenman4564]

Hello Lolly. I paused and have stopped listening to Dr Joanne so I could completely focus on what you have shared. I read your words in silence because I wanted to feel the full impact of everything you have shared here. I realize that so much of what I could say or what others may attempt to say may indeed sound trite or perhaps similar to platitudes and I do not want this to be the case here. I truly understand your pain and sense of deep loss. I agree with you in everything you wrote regarding others opinions and how this society in general offers so little to you. I know, there are no words that can fully describe your experience. There are however other cultures around the world that are not antiseptically fear based when their people are confronted with loss. The Tibetans readily come to mind as well as India. There are others. I am moved and attempting to offer support and for you to feel heard. I realize all of what I'm saying here falls short even though I am sincere. I wish for you, peace and comfort.

[@samadhiretreatsmeditation6507]

Thank you for sharing so openly, truly my heart goes out to you. Dr Joanne's approach is a breath of fresh air, and one I hope someday society can come to embrace. It breaks my heart how people become isolated during their grief because of the discomfort of others, I hope and wish this can change. I wish you well in all ways. 🧡

[@beckybradshaw3249]

I can understand how you feel. Mental Illness causes a lot of anguish to many people. Its a sickness. And it can't be ignored. Medications don't always work either and that's frustrating.I'm so sorry for your pain.One day we both will be able to be happy again. I do wish it would hurry but know we have to embrace our grief. This grief consumes my life right now. I'm obsessed with my husband right now. I know that will change somewhat. I was a nurse and never realized the impact at all had on a human being until I walked in those shoes. But I feel it will get better at some point for both of us. Ill keep you in my prayers for a long time...

[@susanandres7169]

"Grief incompetent" is the perfect description of the therapist I was seeing at the time of my loss.

[@klarafialova7101]

Thank you. Lost my child last week.

[@user-fv1fm4wq9m]

Sorry for your loss. 💐

[@samadhiretreatsmeditation6507]

Deeply sorry to hear this, my heart goes out to you 🧡

[@angelapage4927]

Sending you my heart ❤️ felt condolences xx

[@chiradeeproy811]

I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our only son 7 weeks back- i can imagine what you are going through

[@TheYazmanian]

12:39 IS THE WORST. People just want to forget and I want to talk about my loved ones. What do we do when people say "I can't deal with your grief anymore, it's too depressing and I don't have the emotional capacity to deal with the intensity of your pain". I respect their boundary, but it still hurts. I cried about Chamaco and that lady :( What a beautiful story.

[@clarencehogrefe1220]

Great interview Dr Jo, you are always so loving and caring about how you speak. My Beautiful Wife passed Feb 2021 , hearing you speak helps a little.As my life moves forward i always try to do things to Honors Jans memory and make her Proud of me.The Loneliness always tear me apart from missing Jan so much. I truely know Jan is?always with me. I believe in God and the Spiritual beliefs of Native Americans. Very much respect for Native Americans & their History. God Bless

[@janetpartyka5968]

Know that I am thinking and praying for you.

[@beckybradshaw3249]

You are so right! I just lost my husband of 45 yrs. I hated my grief because it made me so sick. But I listened to people on KZbin that said you have to embrace your grief even if it hurts. Its been almost 6 weeks since he died, and I'm still miserable but feel so much better since embracing it. Now I know that's what I have to do and I don't have so much anxiety. And that means slot to me. I was so anxious I couldn't sleep. I do have good days and bad days. I know one day I will be able to be happy again, I just don't know when...

[@NarrelleChain]

Hang in there! You will be happy again, sorry for your loss!!!!

[@angelapage4927]

A few months after the transition of my beautiful son Lee Simon ❤️ x in 2021one day my family phoned the doctors and i was posted antidepressant by the doctor the doctor phoned a few weeks later to see how i was feeling on the tablet's. I was sobbing saying if you can find any tablets that could bring my beautiful son ❤️ back I'll take them and said i haven't took them Thank you for this video Dr Jo ❤️ very much appreciated x

[@Tranquiltails-di2rx]

Thank you. I hope I can get there. My only daughter I lost this week. I found her and I applied CPR . I am so angry at myself. The paramedics were late they got lost. The system failed my daughter.

[@samadhiretreatsmeditation6507]

My heart and love goes out to you, I'm deeply sorry to hear of your loss. ❤

[@janetpartyka5968]

How did your daughter pass away?

[@brandyfuller515]

Gosh I had my only boy and girl to fentenal poisoning im lost and a hermet now and its been 6 years

[@kevinhudson3032]

People keep asking me what’s wrong. I can’t hardly talk. I’m a only child. Mom was a orphan. She got vascular dementia and died in my arms 11 days ago. I worked overseas for decades. I never married so mom was my all mother and best friend. I caretaked for her 24/7. I tried to hire outside people but medical as this lady speaks will make you turn away and I learned how to do everything. We had 3 dogs 2 of them died while she was dying So when someone says I’m sorry for your lose? It makes me cry all over again. Yesterday I ate 1 meal and tried to eat again and got sick. I had played it out in my head several times a day and I’m a military person so I thought moms better off. When she started leaving on a Saturday I mopped my floors cooked 1 of her favorite meals. And I ate andd so just couldn’t be ok. I held her and when she blew her last breath. I could feel my body changing. Because I’ve been so isolated here and not knowing really know anyone. I’ve been alone in various hemispheres. But for some reason I almost think I’ve been erased I don’t or can’t just pretend I’m good. I’ve got to face myself without mom. I want to I’m sorry for your loss. I need to do something but I’m clueless

[@sunshine9122]

Kevin, I'm so sorry. How are you doing today? Sending love and hugs.❤

[@SusanJohnson-b6b]

God bless you please get out of your shell ❤

[@equynenergie]

Lovely advice and help

[@Chris-kz3jf]

I think that we are looking for someone to say, they can bring your loved one back, unfortunately this is not reality, so when seeking comfort, the only comfort would to have someone say that they can bring your loved one back and since that is impossible, there will never be the comfort we are truly seeking. Also when you reach a certain age, it’s a guarantee that moving forward you can expect a lot of loss and grief. Since turning 50, I’ve lost most of my family, my pets, empty nest and there will be much more in my future, I wonder…what’s the point? Look to nature, life and death are just how it works, nature made a mistake giving humans emotions.

[@kevinhudson3032]

What are the names of the books ? I’m going to get a pen and try to write it down. I must

[@NarrelleChain]

I totally agree, theres no real help, i have given up on psychologists because they are so incompetent, and 1 hr, they have a clock next to you, ticking, i always feel like i spoke for 2 mi utes, and they are focused on the money, a lot of money for a lot of nothing, i want something that is personal, a friend 🧡, i have no friends now to talk too, my sisters are selfish and narcissisti, i am going back to my AA but i have been unwell too, look its not a child, i never had children because i had cptsd, alcoholism, depression, wasn't happy in my relationship blah blah blah; i got a ragdollcat after a severe illness, 2 years, had to give him away! I am grief stricken, can't stop crying thin,ing. then implant made me ill!

[@janetpartyka5968]

Please don't give up. You are worth it!! I've had my share of psychologists, too. Keep searching.

[@sunshine9122]

Sending you big hugs. Although I have family, I am alone. They don't care nor can relate to my grief. My sisters (twins) are the meanest, most cruel, evil, heartless people I've personally known. I also have no friends. I relate and feel your pain.