In-Laws Refuse To Pay For Wife's Student Loans!

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[@tmusa2002]

My kids’ grandparents offered to “help” with their two grandkids’ college 17 years ago. Often told all their friends the same. We just got presented with a $300 check. Good thing we didn’t fully trust their vague comments and saved what we needed!!! They now have the bragging rights that they “helped.”

[@susancross5192]

Think i`d have told them to stuff their check!

[@home4life505]

My mother gave me about $500 for school and swears she paid for most of my schooling. No loans in her name.

[@jillgott6567]

They may not have attended college and so had no understanding of the cost. Also, while they obviously wanted to help their finances may have changed over the years. And by the time college came along $300 was all they could afford. A gift of $300 is nice. I hope you, your children were gracious in accepting it. And yes the grandparents were supportive so deserve to share in the glory. My grandmother sent me $5 when I was going to college. That $5 was way more important to me than others whose families gave thousands. Still, 40 years later I am grateful to this kind, loving woman who has been in Heaven the last 33 years.

[@tmusa2002]

@@jillgott6567 All that reasoning sounds good but doesn’t apply in our case. I share this story so people don’t assume anything. Nobody will be as determined to save for your kids’ college as you will be (if that’s important to you). I have a friend whose mother-in-law convinced them they would pay for all four grandkids’ college and did not. They didn’t save and now have parent plus loans. No circumstances changed in that case either.

[@tmusa2002]

@@susancross5192 I gracefully and thankfully accepted it but it was one of those rare shocks of my lifetime!

[@binkle1757]

whenever they START the call with "thanks so much Dave for all your advice I learned so much," you know they learned nothing.

[@MarksTournaments]

binkle58 binkle ?

[@thomasd5488]

@binkle58 binkle "thanks so much Dave for all your advice I learned so much," you know they learned nothing. OR, they learned the advice too late, to keep them from making the mistakes.

[@afhyoutube]

I can't listen to these phone calls from people calling underwater.

[@wahinepaddler4]

Harv and so much just to get to the point of it all ..

[@kimberleyhunter6815]

I had trouble understanding this caller too.

[@diana7043]

Harv I agree it is difficult

[@rschmidt9495]

You would think by now people would know how to speak properly into a cell phone.

[@majoliefleur9297]

P Maitra 🤣🤣

[@rohitsoni9325]

"The reason why they are numbered is so that you do them in order" 😂😂😂 @4:30

[@wazzupthesky]

The biggest problem is that she is only making $30,000 with a college degree.

[@oneeyedman99]

Her private Christian college probably doesn't give out the most prestigious or marketable degrees.

[@vanderumd11]

Location of degree has little to do with it. Its skills and interviewing.

[@oneeyedman99]

@@vanderumd11 "Location" of degree? By that do you mean which school you got it from? Absolutely that makes a difference, a big one.

[@RobTzu]

I agree. My has limited English, a high school diploma from a foreign school, and makes about 26k a year. So, his wife spent 4 years and at least 33k in tution for an extra 4k a year. Very poor ROI

[@RustyAndroid]

@@vanderumd11 , And don't forget the type of degree too. A degree in art history or social services probably won't get you very far.

[@SR98889]

I cannot stand these people who can’t take responsibility for their own life. 😓

[@Poker-is8dt]

I would fault her dad as well... He straight up LIED to her. He prob. wanted her to go to a religious school because he is prob. one of those religious nutjobs and she prob. didn't want to because religious schools are scams considering what they cost to attend. He lied to her in order to convince her to attend where he wanted her to go. That in my book it wrong. I agree that they should just pay it off, but I would have a grudge against that piece of work as well.

[@AnnYT2]

Conservative Prosecutor oh please explain! I would love to know what you mean by males

[@AnnYT2]

Conservative Prosecutor no I don't sorry I done speak stupid

[@SR98889]

Conservative Prosecutor Nope, no dependence here. I take responsibility for my own life and don’t expect my parents (or anyone) to foot the bill for my education.

[@reggie7716]

SarahSassafrasss I agree, this attitude of entitlement is scary, people who are legally adults totally convinced mommy and daddy are still obligated to support them. Also she was making $30,000 a year, sounds like she may have gotten a degree in a field with no job market.

[@MediumValueMan]

"Had an agreement, I guess." Lol This guy has no idea of that actual situation.

[@krogdog]

This is why the first question I ask on Eharmony is, “Do you have any student loans?”

[@COINsimp2024]

Really? Lol

[@jeremywheeler8417]

I ask about their credit score

[@Linguist95]

Wow I bet you get lots of dates 😆

[@sblijheid]

@@Linguist95 Well it narrows the choices down significantly and you have less weeding to do.

[@_Y.Not_]

I ask about their debt and yes, I do get a number of dates, not eharmony but another site. As someone with no debt I have no intention of taking on someone else's, if they don't like it....next! Not hurting for dates at all and won't end up with an anchor around my neck, I have long since decided I no longer do "struggle" relationships, the men with no debt seem to have absolutely no problem with me asking, imagine that.

[@sunshinelawfan7693]

"Dave you changed my life. Except for the part where I splurged on an overpriced new car. Now: wife got laid off and we are panicked. But wife is not onboard with baby steps. Actually, neither of us wants to work the steps. So...what should we do?"

[@altonriggs2352]

Dave...Hang up.

[@randymorrison1761]

The car was before he started listening to Dave Ramsey. Did you not pay attention? Re-watch it

[@bryanjacobs1423]

It's wrong for the Dad to not keep his promise, but if he won't keep it the loan still needs to be paid since it's in the wife's name.

[@generallordjowbra8871]

Should go no contact.

[@justwondering1967]

Is there an echo in here?

[@kristinabatista6766]

I think he was assuming that his child would be making more than $30k with a college degree

[@astrea79]

The worse part of this deal with the dad is that he said he would help her pay IF she attended a private Christian college. If she had known he wouldn't pay for it anyway she could have gone to a cheaper state school. That's another reason why I don't like parents being involved because they can use money as leverage.

[@JohnPaul-ol5zl]

Overall I focus on an individual Keeping their word. Else keep your mouth shut. You don't have to save or help everyone. For the caller and others, careful who you trust and depend on. If you know they are not stable in their integrity, refuse their so called help. If someone ask me for a loan , they done realized I don't mess around and that I Will get my money back ,the easy way or hard way. So they think very deeply before going into an agreement with me.

[@rcairforceone]

I had a similar discussion with my ex with regard to student loans. I offered to pursue an high paying overseas contract position to pay off her debt. She said no. She amassed a level of debt which requires her to remain in school, thus taking out more loans, in order to defer the payments. Definition of insanity.

[@twincherry4958]

Go overseas to pay of her debt...lol

[@RustyAndroid]

Hopefully, this was just your ex-girlfriend, not your ex-wife.

[@jerryjones9683]

Slow suicide

[@RoadieWingZZ]

Sheer insanity on her part.

[@marthar4370]

People who get married without knowing the full extent of their future spouses debt is just asking for it. As a married couple it is no longer just HER debt, it's now THEIRS. People who disagree should rethink ever getting married. Your never want to start a marriage off with a deception (sorry but not disclosing debt is deception). I disclosed to my husband my 3k student loan and my 3k car loan. He had no debt because he doesn't believe in incurring debt aside from a mortgage. He agreed to still get married and we paid off all the debt within a few months.

[@davidboozer2410]

2 minutes into the video and he still hasn't asked Dave the question... spit it out already

[@rachelmanavi4819]

I was thinking the same. He is taking his time

[@77thNYSV]

Yes, it is the wife's student loan debt but she incurred that debt with the understanding and promise from her dad that they'd help pay it.

[@vanderumd11]

He is conflicting. Usually he would say tell dad to grow a pair, and pay his promise.

[@Smallvillefreak]

@@vanderumd11 he would say that if the father called in. But he’s talking to the son in law and calling it how he sees it. The father won’t keep his word because doing so doesn’t matter to the mom. Whether he talked to her about it is irrelevant to whether or not he’s a man of his word. Which he clearly isn’t.

[@sehoujay]

So what is the son-in-law supposed to do? Go to his in-laws and have a shouting match with them?

[@janejane6754]

Idk it's her loan. She should pay for it.

[@mariedesignz1659]

Any debt before marriage is your own debt unless your spouse agrees to help you.

[@mariedesignz1659]

BootherJr yes it does depending on what state. I just went through a divorce debts such as student loans, child support can not be put on the person you get married too. Just like property owned prior to a divorce is not marital property. Only what’s accumulated during the marriage.

[@tammyflashy9328]

Whatever. A marriage is a team and they should be on the same page no matter who pays or doesn't.

[@personincognito3989]

Jane Maiava you must not be married or ever had debt.

[@personincognito3989]

Jane Maiava divorce isn't the issue here guys they're still married so it's both their debt.

[@jacobklein8156]

Get a private art degree, work at art supply store. Cry into your pillow...

[@buffymcmuffin5361]

Cracks me up when people argue with Dave about the best way to get out of debt.

[@s.b.5591]

I dont agree with paying off the car today. wait until the other spouse has a job.

[@paulalewis3389]

Totally agree!

[@SeychelleSunshine]

Dave is right. If she didn't have the promise of help with her loans, she would have gone to a cheaper school and not had so much debt. The dad should pay it, mom is legally obligated to pay it I think, but if they refuse then the daughter will have to charge. Unfortunately, it was for her degree so she incurs the risks. The parents are trifling, if the story is accurate. She should have written up a legally binding agreement with the parents to reduce her risk of getting saddled with all of the debt. Yes she's a grown adult and it's her education, but her decision was contingent upon her father's promise and mother's signature. He effected her financial status because he wanted her to go to his choice of school and made her think she could afford it because she'd have his help. He threw her into rough water with the promise of a life raft then left her to drown, while she could have provided a life jacket for herself and made it through calmer waters to shore. I would have said no thank you to not risk it, but I understand her being young and trusting in her parents's guidance and sincerity. This is a mess. I wouldn't pay off the car until she gets a new job. I would make sure our savings is good if one spouse is unemployed and it's tight right now. No need to lose shelter in case of emergency because there's no cushion. Basic necessities matter more than paying off the debt.

[@choreomaniac]

Agree

[@TeKnoVKNG23]

I don't like when Dave tee's off on people when it's clear the entire story isn't being presented. If the deal was between daughter and dad....then why on Earth did mom co-sign the loan with daughter and not dad? That right there is a huge warning flag, and if the daughter was never supposed to have to pay back the loan...why did she co-sign for it. If it was dad's deal, why didn't he take out the loan in his name? Too many details left out. Dad isn't a wimp at all, mom's name is on the loan and somehow she wasn't part of the deal...so sucks for dad, but mom has the power here given her name and credit is tied to this loan where she was obviously never a part of some backroom deal to give daughter free college.

[@MrsThollo]

Exactly! I was wondering how and why Mom signed a loaned she never knew about. I guess she didn't know about the deal. Maybe now the parents really can't afford it but haven't told their daughter. Maybe Mom is more frugal with money and saw hubby lease a brand new car instead of offering SOMEthing on his wife's loans. Too many variables to judge but honestly, $33,000 is totally doable. Like Dave says: continue to live like broke college students and get rid of that freakin' debt! Inform the loan servicer she lost her job and take advantage of TEMPORARY options until she's working again. They can certainly pay this off. He can use that new car to deliver pizzas...

[@mariegulley7909]

Could the caller please reply and answer these questions! You had to know people were going to comment.... Hello!

[@RustyAndroid]

Also, Dave says that in his own marriage. Every significant decision requires two "yes" and one "no". In this case, the mother clearly wasn't consulted by her husband for this decision.

[@bkay1535]

@@RustyAndroid Exactly!

[@billgateskilledmyuncle23]

My god, a married couple with ONLY 43k in debt and he's crying to her parents to pay. Seriously?

[@mariegulley7909]

Only? I'd bet you don't have $43,000 at home or the bank. And I also bet that YOU have MORE than $43k in debt!

[@Nate-ek8qk]

Tamara Chambers doesnt take long to pay off debt, im 20 and had 18k in debt. now paid off... easy if ur smart about it

[@Nate-ek8qk]

P Maitra why dont u, a grown man asking for handouts... pitiful 😂😂

[@greenAbbot]

It's called "keeping your word." I'm about to put my own kids through school and I guarantee you I will keep my word about what I tell them I will pay for. If they choose a school that's too expensive, I will make it clear to them that the debt is theirs BEFORE they take it out, not five years too late for them to make an informed choice.

[@leeloopoopy]

Nate yeah but at 20 you likely have way less responsibilities to pay for. I make a lot more than I did at that age but I had waaaay more disposable income then. Add some kids, a mortgage, insurances etc... harder to go

[@esonon5210]

Why would the dad even agree to this without talking to his wife?

[@devenmurray3580]

Couldnt bear the thought of his daughter getting plowed by 100 frat dudes a year for 4 years.

[@cctypcc]

I wonder if the parents are still married to each other.

[@jerrystauffer2351]

He's the head of household!

[@JohnPaul-ol5zl]

Assumptions , superiority complex, nieve, writing checks that thyn a$$ can't cash, thinking you are superman and can do anything. It's difficult to say, but at the end of the day, he bit off more than he could chew and now his broken word is affecting many individuals. Careful what words come out of your mouth. Although the caller should help his wife out on this, the father is now a man I would definitely not respect. I'm not going to lay hands on him, but definitely avoid any relationship with him....keep him at 2 arms length in being around him is necessary such as family holiday events.

[@EpicChubs05]

It's her loan dude... Have her pay her debts.

[@Poker-is8dt]

You must not be married lol

[@tammyflashy9328]

When you get married, it's no longer just his or hers, it's ours.

[@SugaryPhoenixxx]

I have never understood why married idiots think their spouse's STUDENT LOAN DEBT is theirs too. If it was something you purchased together & planned for, then absolutely. But there is almost always 1 person in a couple that has ridiculous student loan debt & they vampire money from their S.O. to pay for it. Sorry honey, you wanted that degree remember? So that you could make more money & PAY IT OFF faster. DUH. I will never be that stupid.

[@shannon2748]

But when you marry someone, if they have huge debts, it will affect you, too, sadly.

[@ashlieleavelle]

When you are married you pay things down together.

[@Annis-co7vu]

investing requires good experience and knowledge to carry out a good and successful trade, I have lost a lot trying to trade all by myself May I ask which investments are good??>>>>>>

[@AudraZapoticky55]

I understand your concerns, my friend. I recommend exploring passive index fund investing and expanding your knowledge in this area. Personally, I experienced both successes and challenges when initially seeking a reliable passive income......,

[@Madlyn55]

how do I get in touch with this consultant that assist??>>>>

[@AudraZapoticky55]

STEPHANIE KOPP MEEKS, that's whom i work with look her

[@Madlyn55]

Thanks for these recommendations.....,,,

[@jjgems5909]

Dave didn’t say he needed to pay for his wife’s loans, he said they need to figure out what their going to do and attack the loan! However that done is up to the couple

[@omegamalerevelations7543]

Simp of the year, Captain save-a-debter shaming his in laws for not paying off HIS wife's OWN debt.

[@Poker-is8dt]

1.) Well if her dad agreed to pay for her college, then he should shame him for lying/being misleading. 2. NEVER EVER attend a religious school... They are scams. I am not religious, but if money really is "the root of all evil" like religions claim, then I don't know why religious institutions seem to love taking so much of it.

[@ERIN_198]

Poker1989 it's the LOVE of money, you stupid idiot.

[@TeKnoVKNG23]

If dad agreed to pay why isn't he on the loan? Caller said daughter and mom co-signed the loan...so dad really has no say/power here considering his wife is the one who signed. Seems like someone was left out of the loop here and I don't fault the mother at all for wanting the loan paid considering her name/credit is tied to it. Has nothing to do with dad being a wimp as beta Dave says, if it was dad's agreement his name should have been tied to the financial consequences.

[@omegamalerevelations7543]

TeKnoVKNG23 Dave is a simp that let's his wife control him. Dave always says "happy wife, happy life" and he lives by that motto. Dave is always blaiming the man never telling the woman to take responsibility. He believes it is the man's responsibility to stop his ADULT wife from making errors unbeknownst to him.

[@blakesilvermark1]

that's not true because in the other episodes his made he told one caller that his wife needs to work and work on her student loans.

[@AnnYT2]

Having parents pay for your college is a privilege, it's time to step up and pay for your own college

[@Poker-is8dt]

My parents paid for mine and I am not ashamed of it one bit. I am very grateful for what they offered me. It is idiotic to NOT pay for your childs education (even if you make them reimburse you) considering the lucrative tax free investments that you can take advantage of in order to pay for it (501B)... I put a couple thousand in both of my kids college funds each year in order to keep the favor going down the family line. It will put them WAY ahead of others when they graduate debt free. Then they can do the same for their children in the future. It is not only unselfish, but it is something they will definitely appreciate when they get older. And like I said taking advantage of the tax free 501B investment just makes sense.

[@AnnYT2]

Poker1989 I said it's a privalege, some parents don't have the money and the children shouldn't expect it. I paid for my own, I do hope to have some money saved for my girls but time will tell. But like I said it's a privalege to have that and you shouldn't expect it

[@Tigerkem]

As it stands, getting a college education is a privilege. Parents aren't obligated to pay for your education, especially if they can't afford it, even if they encourage you to go, it's still up to student to determine if the potential financial debt of college is worth enrolling.

[@Kevin_Roche]

My father spent 100k to pay for all my 4 years. He told me not to pay him back, but the deal was to do it for my kids too.

[@shayduval7866]

Tigerkem yea they are. You bring a child into the world and refuse to pay for their education? Grow up, you want kids, pay for their education

[@trudifruty6078]

It's her student loan so it's her responsibility

[@khaos.finance]

And her parents are abusive, using false financial promises to control where their child goes to school.

[@pep590]

@@khaos.finance Exactly...POS father.

[@mle011]

It’s really unfortunate that his wife was lied to by her dad. She should have refused to take out loans in her name, after all- if her dad said he’d pay for her tuition if she went to this private Christian college, then she should have had him pay for it as she went, rather than hanging onto the hope he’d reimburse her student loans 4+ years later. Regardless, they just need to accept her parents aren’t going to pay one dime of her student loan debt, and just tackle it themselves. But I could understand if her relationship with her parents is now forever strained because of this lie though.

[@janicewright4007]

The guy isn’t a jerk. He just expects his father in law to keep his word.

[@robinorga528]

My friend who is Greek got married in College. Her husband never asked her father. To her surprise her father’s position was he is no longer responsible for her debts. Her husband is! He had plenty of money to do so now! It was never spoken again. Life is tough. Bob was not a whimp!

[@MrsEJV]

Oh, for heavens sake.....ASK THE QUESTION!

[@bryanjacobs1423]

Dave's KZbin audience is pretty heartless

[@General_Zod99]

not at all people need to be responsible for themselves. if and when i get married i dont care what debt my wife would have thats her debt not mine.

[@mikeb8342]

@@General_Zod99 I guess you probably shouldn't get married if that's your attitude. Once you marry you are no longer two individuals..... you have become one (ever see the lighting of the unity candle at someone's wedding?). Legally her debt becomes both of yours. That is to say in the event of a divorce if your assets are community property that would be split equally, so are your debts. If you don't want to share the burden of your future wife's debts then I guess you could choose someone who doesn't have debt. Kinda narrows the field by about 80-90%....

[@Preservestlandry]

@@General_Zod99 that's the opposite of what marriage does. If you want that, DON'T get married.

[@General_Zod99]

@@Preservestlandry you are incorrect. But you want to pay off debts that have nothing to do with you that's fine yoh go ahead and be stupid. Only debt I have is my house and car. It's my my job to pay off someones student loans or their car when I didn't buy the car or take the classes. It's called personal responsibility. People need to learn that

[@samguy7209]

Then why don't you pay for all our debt lol 😂

[@ukrd94]

Just because you graduated from college does not mean you deserve a new car, a new home, and/or an entire new wardrobe. Unless you paid for college out of pocket, then you need to focus on getting out of debt because you do deserve thing but you deserve to be out of debt first so that you don't end up calling Dave Ramsey.

[@M0chaJ0J0]

Happened to me. Mom made me get one. She used the majority of the money for home repairs and I'm stuck paying for it. Only 9k left.

[@Tam712]

My father offered to pay for my education, I was very thankful for the offer, but I refused. I didn't want to owe my parents anything or feel obligated to them in anyway. My education, my decision.

[@scorpi4814]

LOL the nerves!! It’s your wife’s loan!

[@jimroscovius]

Why does it take him so long to ask the question?

[@iamlsusam]

There isn’t anyone policing the use of student loans. The students often use it to fund partying in addition to tuition. The biggest expense is housing. Live at home with the parents and you’ve dramatically reduced the cost of attendance!

[@homelessscootaloo374]

How was the mother not 'in the loop' when she cosigned the loan?

[@hirambright9357]

I don't think the parents signed the loan.

[@veritas3179]

Don't expect anything from others.

[@smcpeek61]

The damage the mother has created will have repercussions later. This guy will not forget this and after it is all settled and done, they may cut the parents out of their lives to the point that when grandkids come along they will have limited contact. I would have a sit down, lay out my expectations and try to resolve it. If not, I would make it clear how the relationship will go from that point forward.

[@lolacole5653]

So what if their entitled butts cut off the parents! They need to pay their own debt.

[@danettewelborn5577]

Yep, thats the spolied kids problem if they choose to cut the parents off. The kid went to college, not her parents. Her debt.

[@matthewschocke4094]

Did all of you miss the part where she attended a pricey Christian college with the understanding that they would pay the debt? That broken promise changes everything. Daughter could have chosen a much cheaper school otherwise!

[@claudiagirl3253]

Mr. Mac i agree 100%

[@bkay1535]

@@matthewschocke4094 Not they! She told her husband that Daddy promised to pay. The loan with Mom only sd cosigner seems to believe this.

[@ajs8279]

wife's uneasy about husband paying off HER student loan debt and it's the guys fault for not presenting correctly!!!!! ahahahahaha

[@ajs8279]

we truly live in a matrix of female preference. it's insane once you see it.

[@fabiolito28]

I love how hes the one calling, the father was the one who pushed her to pursue better education and her mother went and got the loan with her, gotta hold her hand for everything smh

[@ajs8279]

im sure she still thinks she doesn't really need no man.

[@censormedaddy]

Decode Lies Once your eyes are open to the gynocentrism in society there is no going back.

[@robertthompson5908]

“The reason they’re numbered is so you do them in order.” Great line.

[@xman666soad]

I love these videos from Ramsey. Caller: We have $24k in debt, make $70+k/year and $11k in savings, what do we do?!? Me:🤦🏽‍♂️

[@choreomaniac]

44k not 24. And they now don’t have the 30k.

[@James_Hough]

When you get married, you are a family unit. Each other's loans are your responsibility when you are married, not your parents. If you are going to depend upon parents, you should not be getting married.

[@callmeosho7792]

No no, we are responsible for the rent, the food, the childcare... but whatever you came into the relationship is yours

[@Ancano]

If the promise isn't on paper, don't count on it.

[@greenAbbot]

I promised to pay for my child’s college and there is no way I would ever do this to him. This is a flat-out betrayal by the father.

[@CrankViewer]

Good advise from Dave. It is a tough situation.

[@grumpyschnauzer]

Wait until the mom needs something... tsk tsk

[@WhatNotandWhatHaveYou]

1,000 is no safety net in 2021 lol

[@ominous450]

She lost her job and now the dude has to pay off HER loans. That’s tough. I know they’re married so technically their loans but she incurred that debt

[@Poker-is8dt]

Welcome to marriage... Choosing who you marry is by far THE BIGGEST financial decision one will ever make... How much debt they have, how much money they make, and how much of their income they spend are make it or break its in my book. I got lucky and married someone who is frugal, had little student loan debt (that we quickly paid off), and is now making over 100k/yr in rural OH at age 27. Good looking 2 :) I have seen men destroyed by their wifes debt and spending habbits... Be VERY VERY picky on the spouse you choose. Nothing wrong with being single until she comes around. My wife had 6k in student loan debt (7years ago), but this chick has 33k. That still isn't the end of the world. Considering she went to a religious school, it is actually very surprising to me that it is only 33k. Hopefully she got a degree in computer science or something useful.

[@blakesilvermark1]

As I said before get married because you want to not because of statistics theirs plenty of people who have happy and healthy marriages people just don't talk about them.

[@elianah8803]

Hard to know the real facts behind this, it’s odd that her parents didn’t align and odder still that she wasn’t aware that her mom was not in the loop. Doesn’t sound right. At any rate, a married, college graduate should be responsible for her own debt. Even if her parents (plural) did agree..it’s her debt, pay if off. It’s called being a grown up. If you’re a college graduate and married, you’re a grown up. Start acting like one and quit expecting financial help from your parents or anyone else. Get a couple of jobs and you can pay that off in a couple of years. My parents were first generation Americans and although they couldn’t pay for my university education, they did show me how to work. I took it from there...

[@jconnally0]

I don't think the folks in the comment section understand how much more expensive a private college education is.

[@hirambright9357]

Not worth it.

[@joyaustin6581]

That’s why I went to public university. I never spend more just because someone else is paying

[@chrisstaub5880]

I'm not clear on why the cost matters. That has no effect on who's responsible for the loans that were taken out.

[@tmusa2002]

I’d be a bit uneasy using savings immediately since she’s out of work.

[@TayLybb]

Yeah. I'm paying for my own student loans.

[@deuteriumjones]

Dave actually missed the part where the wife is unemployed rn. They should wait to pay off the car until she gets a job.

[@RoadieWingZZ]

Not really. Dave heard that, but the husband said she was optimistic about getting a new job. Paying off the car to eliminate that drain on the budget is exactly the right call.

[@moewilson4605]

I worked full time or part time while I was in school. I lived at home and when I finished I was debt free. Summers I would work extra hard and have almost the full years tuition saved up. My parents helped me out by letting me live at home and my mom would pay for my bus pass and books. It was what they could offer having seven children. I get that daddy offered to pay the student debt and the fact he broke that promise is sad but people have to buck up and pay their own loans.

[@randy944]

if Dad promised to pay her back why didn't he just get a Parent Plus loan?

[@bkay1535]

Little wifey might be fibbing... hoping Daddy would pony up...

[@wmurray003]

"Yeah ok, that's cool and all. Thanks for the compliments and stuff ......but wasn't she the one who used the loan?"

[@kellyinfanger9192]

Father in-law's lack of integrity does not excuse yours. It is your debt - man up.

[@trinahorton8839]

Who knows what the real agreement was but if Daddy wanted her to go to a specific school with private school costs he should have taken out the loan in his name. Unfortunately, he didn't follow through (if that's what really happened) and now she's (they) responsible for it. Married people share money AND debts, you weirdos in the comments

[@rowdeo8968]

I am paying my daughter's loan because I said I would to help her.

[@shebakali6]

Sounds like the wife is not pulling her weight, she has the most loans, she just lost her job and she doesn’t want to do the baby steps in the proper order...

[@danielb3863]

He's also delusional that his wife will find a job in her field in a "few weeks". Few weeks? That's just the time it takes from the final interview until they tell you you got the job and not the other canidates. Try at least 2 to 3 months for a 2-bit job and more like 6 months for a real job. And it only gets worse as you get older regardless of the economy.

[@randymorrison1761]

@@danielb3863 making $30k a year is just a step above fast food. She should (depending on where she lives) be able to find anything that pays $30k. At least $20k. Even if she has to baby sit until she finds something in her field. She should be able to do something.

[@dc76384]

30,00/yr and had a college degree?!

[@anoxicfiltrationplenums]

It’s called being a grown-up and taking responsibility for your future.

[@pep590]

And don't be a POS parent by promising to pay and getting them in all kinds of debt, because you are a POS liar.

[@johnjames7520]

Dave, if you think you can pay for college "as you go' by picking up odd jobs and walking dogs you are seriously disconnected from reality. Maybe in the 70's that was possible, this is 2019.

[@T25de]

Jonathan James What’s your student debt amount

[@johnjames7520]

@@T25de personally, mine is zero. I was very lucky though, I was awarded grants. Not a usual case.

[@T25de]

Grants are great

[@dianamorris5726]

I dont understand why people think their parents are responsible for their college loans. Even if they said they would pay them. Your an adult pay your way!!!

[@chrisstaub5880]

She might not have even taken out those loans in the first place if her parents hadn't said they'd help pay for them. If they promised that they would, that does make them at least partly responsible.

[@f.-j.j.5738]

I'm sorry but you don't take any loan out in the hopes of someone else paying it for you. Even if there is an agreement, even when they're your parents. I'll always take out what I can take out and pay for. If you pay for it, great, if you don't, doesn't affect my financial plans because I budgeted it in anyway.

[@beccadotelpy]

I could see not paying off the car in full until the wife has a job b/c who knows how long she's gonna be unemployed. They might need that savings if a job doesn't turn up as soon as they hope. The dad should have talked this over with his wife. And I wish Dave hadn't attacked the mother on this. He's getting one side of the story and a second-hand version at that. The caller doesn't need someone denigrating his mother-in-law. Who does that help?

[@beachygurls6]

I agree about not paying off car until the wife has a JOB! And as for loving them (parents) where they are...that would be from afar! Never discuss money with them ever again except to answer with “ We can’t afford that any time soon.”, pay off the debt yourselves and when Mother’s/Father’s Day, birthday, Christmas rolls around...send a lovely card from the dollar store full of love and best wishes.

[@packratswhatif.3990]

NEVER, Never borrow money from family or friends ! If money is Given to you, then thats ok (if signed on paper). The best thing I did was to never borrow money from family, the worst thing I ever did was to load money to a friend - you never get all of it back and you get USED !

[@aubreysellssofl]

I cannot stand a person who won’t honor their word!

[@ImVeryBrad]

i started saving for my kids the day they were born >.

[@jedimaster12100]

It his her loan. The dad was wring in not coming to an office with his wife. In the end she's responsible for it.

[@thepracticalblade9013]

Listening to this caller speak is the ultimate test of patience. Oh. My. Lord. Get to the point. Would not do well in corporate America.

[@carolr7823]

I agree that they should pay off the student loan, but I would never trust his wife's parents again. And their relationship IMHO is shot and will never recover because she could have gone to a much better college for a lot cheaper and would likely have better job prospects if she had.

[@LoriFoster]

100% agree sometimes it’s not worth fighting a long and probably losing battle! Just do your best to not get anymore debt!

[@anthonylindsey3138]

Church is not the answer to everything

[@jillroberts609]

Set boundaries, NO RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CHILDREN, AND NEVER ACCEPT ANY " GIFTS" FROM THESE PEOPLE!!!!!

[@sblijheid]

Your wife, your wife's bill, you pay the bill. You should pay attention before you say I do.

[@bethanyroberts4744]

Great stuff, Dave!

[@jasonzelic9030]

So Dad went behind Moms back to spoil his princess who spent a ton of money to make minimum wage and Mom found out and laughed because it was unrealistic. Daughter should have said thanks dad, but you can’t afford it either. Going to go to community college for two years and then transfer to in state school.

[@ernieellan5694]

You know the mom physically signed the loans as a cosigner so mom knew fully well about the loans.

[@jbtpa895]

My daughter worked summers and at college,had multiple scholarships including full academic tuition,got two BS degrees and did a semester abroad. All in four and a half years. Because I was seriously ill at the time she got grant money, invested it and put fifty percent down on a new car,no debt from school. Don't understand why people won't work hard.

[@ajb7530]

Its sounds like your wife's parents can't be trusted to keep a promise.

[@r.brooks5287]

I would wait until she gets the other job before using the savings just in case.

[@devenmurray3580]

Not having that money is a powerful motivator for her to get a new job. If this dude isnt careful shes gonna turn up pregnant in a few weeks and shell never work again.

[@2023Red]

Yes. People lie and so do parents. In my case as an enlisted grunt in vietnam 50 years ago, I sent home most of my paycheck so I could pay for college when I returned home. Once I arrived back home, I asked my dad if I could get that money I sent. He replied he did not have it because he needed the money. I extended my discharge date in the Army for two years then got out and graduated from college many states away. There was no goal in delittleing my father but it stings to this day. I am now 75. My lesson to the young men today, never ever trust others with your money. Including your spouse if she is in debt. She likely sees you as a checkbook with feet.

[@Gareth_Mayers]

She's lining him up to be a wimp too.

[@codorin]

my wife has 2 college degrees. she is currently a stay home mom and is planning on going to work in a year. she paid it herself with some help from her parents. she sees most college degrees are a peice of paper saying you maybe can. in the real world that helps but dosen't cut it. a drive to succeed and the work to back it up are more important in most workplaces.

[@lillsportyshorty7165]

For richer or poorer, sickness or in health.. in debt or not, you in it TOGETHER. It's now both their debt.

[@ferz2014]

First of all, if its the wife's loan she needs to pay for it. The husband shouldn't be asking her parents for money to pay for HER loans. It's not their responsibility. Even if her parents promised to pay for her student loans, she should have realized about the possibility that people can break their promises. She should have thought about that when she agreed to accept those student loans. I don't understand why u wouldn't think its not ur responsibility. Before u get married or even have a date its like u need to ask ur potential partner for a CV/resume in order to not get tricked nowadays. If ur her husband and u don't want to pay for her student loans, don't ask her parents to keep their promise, make her work and pay it off. End of conversation.

[@chrisstaub5880]

"She should have thought about that when she agreed to accept those student loans." You can just as easily say the same about her parents when they decided to cosign for the loans (assuming that they did, as the caller isn't 100% sure).

[@rubiiesreina3129]

Parents don't have to pay for kids college if they cant afford to. Its called being responsible for your own life. People are grown and expect their parents to pay for it when their parents should be getting ready for retirement. Its selfish to just put it on their parents like he said their adults.

[@chrisstaub5880]

I agree, parents are not obligated to pay for their childrens' college. However, it does become their responsibility when they choose to sign/cosign for their childrens' student loans. Just another reason not to cosign loans.

[@Ilovedachshunddogs]

So he will buy a brand new car while expecting his in-laws to pay for the student loans? Grow up

[@lumpy368]

I'll never understand why people think their parents are responsible for their student loans. It's your life now when you turn 18, not your parents. You're a grown adult, so pay it off yourself. Figure it out. This notion it's the parents responsibility needs to end.

[@chrisstaub5880]

It is absolutely the parents' responsibility when they decide to sign/cosign for the loans, and/or specifically tell their children that they will pay for them. If they don't want that responsibility, they can simply refuse to sign for the loans and tell their children that they'll need to pay for their own college.

[@767dag]

Pay your own bill ... and stop crying about it

[@juliennetully4814]

It’a not her bill if parents forced her to sign it. My parents forced me to sign my student loans and I refuse to pay a penny. They are federal loans, so it is not not like the government is going to sue or take my house away. I refuse to pay money to our greedy government!

[@terriesmith8219]

Your parents are NOT obligated to pay for your college. After 18, you are more then old enough to get a job and school loan and pay for it yourself. It is a privilege should your parents pay for your education. Be GRATEFUL. It is her loan, she needs to pay it. She's only been out of work 10 days. And she's currently looking for a new job, she'll find one if she's diligent and persistent enough. No need to panic. It's only been 10 days since she lost her job. In the mean time, she could get a minimum wage job just to hold her over, until she find something better. This couple will be fine. They are not in as big of a ditch as I've seen of others.

[@a_noelle8595]

Terrie Smith while I agree that it isn't a parent's responsibility, in this case though, it's more about the dad's promise to pay for school affecting the choice she made and ultimately the amount of debt she has. This girl was made a promise by her father and he reneged. That sucks. Doesn't change the fact that she now has to repay the loan, but the relationship will certainly be tarnished because of it.

[@terriesmith8219]

fit_ me~You are correct and I agree with you. With that being said, we only hear one side of the story. I don't know for sure if dad truly did promised to pay her loan. She could be telling her husband that so the blame will be shifted from her. In this case, I can't go in on her dad without hearing his side of the story. We know how women lie. Yes, men lie too. Humans lie. That's why there's her side, his side, and in between is the truth. Nope, not gonna go in on the dad until I hear his side. I've know women who lie about their finances and their debts to their husbands or boyfriends all the time, to make themselves less culpable, to make their partners feel more sympathy for them.

[@terriesmith8219]

Conservative Prosecutor~Just because they SHOULD doesn't mean they WILL. That's the difference. That's the reality of life. She needs to accept the current situation for what it is and pay the loan. Learn her lesson never to mix finance with family again. It's a bitter lesson learned but that's life. Again, we only know her side of the story. We don't know the parents side.

[@matthewgarcia2119]

Terrie Smith yeah but your forgetting that he said they have got to some understanding but the ideals of the father and mother are conflicting. That itself tells you he made some arrangement that the mother doesn't agree with otherwise, he would be saying something like " now he is saying he never made any promises and thinks she sould pay it." Either way she needs to pay for it because her name is written on it.

[@JustMe-dn9fh]

David has mentioned many times before that no one owes us anything in life. The wife needs to pay back the loan.Not Mom or Dad!! They did not benefit from the degree she took out!

[@matthewschocke4094]

The issue is the broken promise. Father clearly felt he needed to offer something to influence the daughter's choice of school to attend. Private Christian colleges are usually significantly more pricey. He effectively tricked his daughter into choosing a more expensive option to satisfy his own sensibilities. She could have attended a state school or community college for next to nothing. I cannot abide people that don't keep their word, and the fact that he purports to be a Christian makes him the worst kind of hypocrite.

[@amandam5683]

So him keeping his word is more important that talking it over with his wife fist before making such a big purchase? I think not

[@esonon5210]

How is she only making 30k with a degree?

[@MDAdams72668]

That's what teachers earn around(30-37k) here 4yr degree required

[@esonon5210]

@@MDAdams72668 she needs to find another job. that's ridiculous.

[@meancarleen]

how the heck is this even a question????

[@chartuck]

If this was a woman calling in about her husbands debt he would be singing a different tune. Also, let me add this to things I won't do: Marry a woman with a bunch of debt that takes no responsibility for herself.