Inclusivity in the Knitting Community - Is There Such a Thing?

[@nelliehugh]

At 54 and a new knitter I don’t give a crap what anyone knits with. And I’m certainly not interested in the “influencer”. I love Ravelry and picking what I want to knit. I choose whatever yarn I like, not what’s cool etc Also I am socially anxious with cptsd and have never felt like I fit in anywhere, I love quiet solitude and watching the community from the safety of my screen. lol You are not alone. We are part of your type of community.

[@themonogamousknitter]

It sounds like you know what you want/like/dislike and are thriving! 😊 I thank you for sharing your journey and for reminding me that I'm not alone. 💕

[@bumblesby]

Maybe we should start a Ravelry knitting group. Something like Knitting on Budget or something like that. I've been thinking about it but am a bit scared of backlash LOL

[@BettyTsukahara]

My knitting group is not affiliated with any yarn shops. We meet at a local museum once a week. Perhaps this is why it is such an inviting and inclusive group. We are all knitting our own thing, with any wool or needles we choose. We learn from each other, teach each other and admire each others progress. So If you're ever in Nova Scotia Canada, get in touch, we would welcome you with open arms.

[@themonogamousknitter]

Oh, Nova Scotia! Sometimes I dream about moving to Canada, so who knows! 😅 Your knitting group sounds absolutely lovely. 💕 I hope one day I find something similar.

[@annjohnson8544]

I love your honesty and thoughtful opinions. Always gives me things to think about! One thing they say in the quilt world is “there is no quilting police “. In other words I take that to mean, everyone is creating in their own way, which is the journey and the joy!

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m glad to hear that my thoughts resonate with you and give you something to think about. 💕😊

[@SweetGeek04]

Thank you for speaking on this, everything you said are reasons why I can’t convince myself to join a knitting group.

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you! My idealistic view is that knitting is a gentle, beautiful craft meant to be shared, where we celebrate each other's creativity and knowledge. Unfortunately, it feels a bit like it’s become more and more about 'the right way' to do things or to be, which takes away from the joy of it all. I hope that will change in the future.

[@LizCraigMyers]

Sorry to hear you have had unpleasant experiences with knitting groups! It shouldn't be that way. I'm NOT making excuses for anyone who was rude or unwelcoming, but I do see the point of view that the owner & community of a yarn shop just want to keep that business afloat, which is not easy for any small business. They stay open by selling yarn, hence the suggestion that knitters purchase yarn there. Thanks again for your podcast and strong opinions :)

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for your comment! I understand the challenges of keeping a business afloat, but I don’t believe ignoring someone entirely is ever justified. If the owner had simply said hello, they might have gained me as a customer. Instead, that interaction ensured I never went back. Of course, it might not have been a huge loss for them, but considering I do (or did) buy yarn quite a lot, it could have made a small difference. As for knit nights, they are usually advertised 'come as you are and knit what you like'-and I probably naively trusted that. From the comments here, I see that I was a silly. Of course they have an agenda and it's not about keeping the craft alive, but business.

[@auntyjo1792]

​@@themonogamousknitterI never understand business owners that don't welcome potential customers. It's self sabotaging behaviour.

[@themonogamousknitter]

@@auntyjo1792 I agree-it’s always surprising to see businesses turn away potential customers. I don’t think it’s the best strategy. While I understand the importance of knowing your target audience, I’m not sure yarn shops can afford to be overly selective with customers in the current climate. (I know many shops in Finland are struggling.)

[@pial7805]

Eniko you’re such a breath of fresh air. Thank you for being your wonderful self. ❤

[@themonogamousknitter]

@@pial7805 Thank you! 🥰💕

[@genier7829]

I have not had an unpleasant knitting experience, but back when I was only quilting it definitely happened more than once. I would go into a new fabric/quilt store and see the staff and customers chatting and so on, and no one even spoke to me or made eye contact. It was like only the 'in crowd' was acknowledged. This happened at three different store, so it seemed to be widespread. Needless ti say, I never became a customer or an insider. I have had a number of friendly encounters with knitters at cafes and groups, so I feel very fortunate. As a family caregiver I am very isolated and find that knitting in public is a very effective way to interact with people, both other crafters and folks who have an aunt, grandma or other that knitted.

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for sharing your experience! I’m sorry to hear the same thing happened in quilting-it’s such a shame, even if not entirely surprising. I mean people are people everywhere. On the brighter side, it’s wonderful that your knitting experiences have been more positive. Knitting in public really is a lovely way to spark conversations and connect with others, even in small ways. 💕 I’ve had similar moments and am so grateful for them. I hope you continue creating and enjoying what brings you happiness! 😊

[@anthrogal78]

You are really rocking the boat with your KZbin channel and I love it! Thank you for speaking your mind.

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for your support! I do think many topics deserve to be discussed openly, even if or when it makes us feel uncomfortable.

[@ellenhenrie4826]

Thanks again for your thoughtful content. I live out in the country, with the nearest (very friendly) yarn shop an hour away, so I find my knitting community primarily online. As an introvert, this works well, and I get to spend time with lovely people all around the world. I suppose it keeps me in my comfort bubble, but considering our recent election here in the US, I need all the comfort I can get. ... Love all your beanies and cowls! Already mentally shopping my stash.

[@sandrachilds7229]

I too live in the US and looked to the online knitting community to keep me from falling down into the pit of despair.

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for sharing your experience! I'm happy that you've found an online community to share your experiences with. 💕 I'm also glad you like my beanies and cowls. 😊

[@ThundermansThunder]

I believe that every yarn has its purpose, depending on a variety of considerations. Even when the very best yarn is affordable, it is not necessarily the wisest option for every project for every person. Everyone's needs and preferences are going to vary, and there are yarns to suit them all, so there should be no shaming anyone for these differences.

[@themonogamousknitter]

Indeed, wise words! 💕😊

[@ThundermansThunder]

@@themonogamousknitter Thank you! You are so kind! If I am recollecting correctly, you have said, or at least, hinted as much, yourself, in your own words of wisdom. I enjoy hearing you voice your thought processes and point of view.

[@newdorogallagher2882]

Thank you SO MUCH for this episode, also that KZbin found your channel I also sent a lengthy comment on Raverly Did a lot of thinking too (as similar encounter happen to me about 2 weeks ago - in truly anty-holiday spirit I was rejected from the group … ) first depression set in, then I realized that people will always reject different individuals, but also when they are jealous of skills, experience …. Funny that, I heard „… you’re so intelligent and so talented, …. You don’t fit in our group…”. And also accusations that I talk too much about fiber, yarns, knitting….. while a lot of gossips against non present individuals were going on … so not coming to the group I KNOW I gave them fuel for more gossips … I really don’t fit in this group

[@newdorogallagher2882]

PS … forgot to mention why am i different… I’m a 55+ years long knitter, but also learned spinning in 2021 (COVID activity) developed the passion for Handspun yarn and face changes that Handspun provides… learned SO MUCH about yarns from knitting books, breed specific etc. So I can call myself a YarnDesigner Also spent up to $100 on almost every visit at the store with knitting group, so my absence also means that my craft dollars will go somewhere else. If I had my designing/spinning/knitting channel it would be called „Solitary Fiber Crafters” or something Ps in my area at similar distance there are about 8 other yarn/fiber stores … with crafting groups [haha let’s see how many others will reject a diverse person? Just because I’m lefthrnded, knitting eastern Continental and have passion for fiber/yarns not gossips

[@themonogamousknitter]

Hi there, thank you for your comments and sharing your experiences! 💕 I will reply to your Ravelry message in a minute.

[@nadiarogo4511]

Thank you for another great video :) Your opinions are very refreshing and I love hearing them! In my opinion, the way designers could (and should) address different knitting styles (western vs. eastern) in their patterns is by stopping using the confusing k2tog and ssk abbreviations. Instead just use left-leaning decrease (LLD) or right-leaning decrease (RLD) to descrie the result instead of the action. Because for eastern purlers (like myself) ssk results in exact opposite of what western purler intends (for easter purlers ssk actually means k2tog and vice versa, depending no whether we knit flat or in the round). Describing decreases (as well as twists) as right or left leaning would spear us eastern purlers the extra mental convesion every time we see ssk and k2tog in the instructions ;) Of course, having all patterns fully charted would eliminate all confusion as well as language barriers, include people with dyslexia and reading difficulties and make things easier for everyone including the designer, in my opinion 😄

[@IzzyisDizzyandFizzy]

Ooh interesting. I'm a left handed continental knitter and much prefer the k2tog and ssk abreviations as you don't have to worry about the "direction" of the knitting

[@HennaHuu]

I can't read charts only, I need the written version as well and if it's something I haven't knitted before I need a video as my neurospiciness understands and learns the best way with the combination of all of those. :)

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you! I really appreciate your kind words and am so glad you find my videos refreshing. 💕What you say about different decrease abbreviations makes sense. I have to admit that I personally tend to look at charts and adjust my techniques as needed to suit the design (to be honest, I haven't knitted from other peoples patterns in ages...😅) Since most of my designs involve colorwork, I include charts in my patterns, which do use abbreviations like k2tog and ssk. That said, this might change in the future as I consider how to best support different knitting styles. Unfortunately not all colorwork can be fully charted, especially the final rounds of hat crowns. Those can be tricky. I don't write out the charts, that would be overwhelming. Nonetheless, I've found that some knitters find charts confusing (myself included …years ago, I tried to knit a lace sweater and struggled to make sense of the yoke chart, it just did not add up. In the end, only the written pattern helped me figure it out). Thanks again for sharing your thoughts and for suggesting a different way of pattern writing!

[@purltwotogether8218]

What about people like me who can't manage with charts due to sight issues? Having a mix of written and charts works well imho

[@themonogamousknitter]

@@purltwotogether8218 I understand your point, and having a mix of written instructions and charts can be very helpful for accessibility. That said, I also think it’s hard to cater to every disadvantage people might have. Personally, I can’t imagine that detailed written instructions like “k1 in MC, k3 in CC, k2 in MC” would be what most people want-but I know everyone’s preferences and needs are different and I might be totally wrong! It’s such a balancing act for designers.

[@SnowdoniaStitches]

So glad I just found your channel! I was only talking about this topic yesterday. I also own a wool shop and I see people looking down on others in the shop if they are choosing a “lower quality” wool. New sub from me 🙌💕

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you so much for your kind words and for subscribing! 💕 It’s wonderful to hear from someone who also notices these dynamics firsthand. It’s unfortunate, but I hope that change is coming. 😊

[@Emrita_in_Oz]

I haven’t watched this yet but the most disappointing thing is when you find a content creator who is just starting out and as they grow they forget about inclusion because they’ve sacrificed it to be an influencer and fangirl with other influencers.

[@themonogamousknitter]

I'm glad you've spotted that. Most people don’t see that change happening or realize the impact it can have.

[@pialindeg]

Thank you for dealing with this. We are better consumers if we all do the same. Stay yourself.

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you! 🙏

[@robyngibbons1347]

no cancelling here! What you say really resonates, I find many people all knit the same patterns and there is a lack of variety out there, enjoy finding those who are making something different :)

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for your kind comment! 😊 I’m glad my thoughts and approach to making resonate with you. 💕

[@lisanneweinberg9658]

I enjoy your content. I don't think you will be canceled (at least I hope not). I've never joined a knitting group or gone to a knit night. Actually some like-minded ladies and I did try to form a knitting group years ago--they were 3 sisters and myself. Somehow we didn't continue, not because of any snobbery or anything. I don't usually buy yarn at my lys, since I order online from a specific supplier or 2, so I feel funny joining a group when I haven't bought yarn there (mostly I buy needles and notions there). I learned to knit long before there were influencers, internet, or online shopping. My sisters and I all knit and one of my daughters crochets; we live very long distances from each other but were together recently caring for my mother who was very ill. We were all knitting together during her periods of sleep, and that was comforting for all of us. I'm comfortable knitting alone at home, after making a cup of coffee or tea.

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for sharing your story. 💕It’s heartwarming to hear how knitting brought you and your sisters together during such a difficult time. It really shows how comforting and meaningful the craft can be and how it can bring us sometimes much needed solace. 😊

[@karenbrotherton]

I am totally aware of what you are saying. I have found out through the years, yarn shop knit nights are only to promote their business, the owner wants to appear as the be all know all. I understand being a business owner you have to promote yourself. I find groups that meet in libraries and other spaces that were not started by shop owners are much more inclusive. 😮 14:03

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for your comment! 😊 You’ve made some really interesting points. It’s true that yarn shop knit nights can sometimes feel more like marketing events. I understand that, but what often seems to be missing is the idea that people will choose to support you if they genuinely like you and feel positive about their experience, not because you try to show them how superior you are. Your comment has inspired me to think about starting my own knitting night at the local library. Thanks for the idea! 💕

[@craftychatscafe6342]

Such a refreshing video❤ So rare that we see designers analysing what works and what doesn't work when they're writing patterns, i'm so used to just seeing the perfect final project and none of the trial runs❤

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you! 😊💕 I think it’s helpful to show a bit of the behind-the-scenes process and share what works and what doesn’t.

[@craftychatscafe6342]

@themonogamousknitter absolutely! So many times I've said to myself, God I'd love if they showed us more of the processes...I wanna learn 😂

[@mayfrost5189]

I just came across your video here on youtube. I have been knitting for more than 50 years As I started to knit there was not such a thing as influencer and knitting groups. I knit what I like with the yarn I like and I don't care what others think about it. Knitting is supposed to be relaxing and fun and not something to be stressed out about. Many roads leads to Rome, we are all individuals with different tastes and knitting styles and I find it wrong to push someone into a box where everybody knit the same thing in the same style. How boring would that be.

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! 😊 It’s wonderful to hear from someone with so much knitting experience. Knitting should indeed be about joy, creativity, and individuality-not conformity. And yes, it really would be boring if we all knitted the same thing in the same way!

[@knittingthestash]

As usual, enjoyed what you had to say. The "cliques" of the knitting world can be tricky. I would like to think they're a minority and that there is more acceptance out there. But your experiences show the opposite to be true--so I absolutely want to say: I hear you and I've seen some of the things you've seen, too. I also tend to be a fairly isolated knitter who doesn't follow the trends as much and avoids the larger crowds. Maybe the few groups I roam around in (that feel more inclusive) are actually the minority ;) Anyway, I hope you feel validated and I also hope you keep making beautiful things and interesting videos. Thanks for this latest edition!

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you so much for your kind words! It means a lot to hear that you understand. It’s comforting to know there are others out there who also value a more open approach to knitting. I really appreciate your support. (And yes, I do understand that sometimes I need to feel validated.) 💕

[@donnamccaffrey4364]

I’m going to view your experience from a different perspective. If you were meeting at a yarn shop, perhaps there was an expectation that you buy your supplies from that yarn shop. Knitting on a project on supplies that weren’t carried by the yarn shop could have been a misunderstanding and perhaps the people didn’t know how to approach the subject. People don’t like uncomfortable conversations. The only reason why I am telling you this is because I used be very crafty with beads, we would meet at our local small independent bead shop every weekend and it was the owner who said, “I can’t compete with Michaels, and I can’t stay in business if you go buy your beads at a big box store and then bring it to my store for help, or whatever” So for your negative experience, you are very artistic and create beautiful stitching. Happy stitching.

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for sharing your perspective and for your kind words! 💕 I understand how expectations around buying supplies from a specific place could lead to misunderstandings, but it’s disheartening when basic human decency, like a simple greeting, is overlooked, especially in smaller gatherings. It’s clear that this isn’t an isolated experience-many have shared similar stories of feeling excluded, which is disappointing. I hope we can work towards a craft community that’s genuinely inclusive and celebrates all the different ways we create. Happy stitching to you too! 😊

[@carinajonsson5051]

Thank You for yet another thoughtfull episode 🤗

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for watching! 💕😊

[@YarnAndy]

Technical stuff first, assuming you work from the brim up. If you want the crown to be flatter, you need to start decreasing earlier and to add extra rows between the rows with decreases. This makes the crown almost a flat circle. If you decrease too late, you get the "pumpkin head". Love the colorwork on the ones you showed. As for inclusivity, I agree we need more of it and I agree that more perspectives should be accepted. When it comes to creativity, that is, not some other things that are not up to discussion (like marginalized folk having just as much of a right to live fulfilling lives as everyone else).

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for your insights on shaping the crown! I actually went back and tried pretty much what you suggested. 😊 Sometimes I do get carried away or feel indecisive about how or when to shape the crown-whether I want a snug fit or something with a bit of “air” at the top. It still doesn’t quite work, but I can always unravel and fix it. And yes, embracing more creative perspectives is definitely the way forward!

[@ajatuksianni]

Arvostan jälleen rehellistä videotasi

[@themonogamousknitter]

@@ajatuksianni Kiitos Anni! ☺️💕 On tärkeä pystyä puhumaan itselle tärkeistä asioista, mutta ymmärrän myös turhautumisen. 🤗

[@PamelaZumwalt]

Maybe I’m naive but in general I see the knitting community as supportive and relatable. Of course there are those “snob” types that are rude and always leave a foul taste in your mouth but they are everywhere in life. There was a yarn shop I would not go into because the staff had their heads up their butts and not surprisingly, they eventually went out of business. Your Trailblazer cowl and hat bundle has a cool pattern and looks like a fun knit. I hope you get to try it out on the slopes!

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for your comment! 😊 I’d also like to believe there’s more support than not, but it’s a shame when signs of the opposite still show up. I’m so glad you like my designs-fingers crossed for more snow this season! And just for the record, I’ll be wearing the beanie off-slope-better to wear a helmet while on it! 😄

[@jayjaychappo]

Thank you for sharing your experiences and thoughts Enikö and I am glad you did. I appreciate you even more now! I’ve tried to respond better twice now and keep rambling - way too tired to think lol. I’ll respond better tomorrow. But i HAD to mention that the vespa pullover was actually my first choice of pattern. I loved it and the story behind it. I loved seeing you in it in this video.

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you! 🥰 Thank you again for the Trailblaze cowl test knit, of course you can change that ´thank you-pattern´ if you like. 😊 Just send me an email.

[@stinao4954]

I took up spinning my own yarn because it was cheaper for me. I had an amazing friend that gave me all of her equipment and wool to start and i havent stopped for 15 years. I am usually a solo person as well but i found a group of ladies at my local library i join from time to time to knit and spin with. The group is open for all to come and go as they please so its very friendly. Everyone is different but creativity makes us all a little the same. ❤

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for your comment! 😊 I'm so glad to hear about your spinning journey and that you found a welcoming group to share your passion with. It’s true, creativity at its best really does have a way of bringing us all together and making us feel connected. 💕

[@heline9469]

I have usually felt that people have been welcoming towards me in new knitting communities and I´m very happy about my knitting friends all over Finland. And it´s bad too be excluded or not to be welcomed. It´s not always easy to go to a group were you don´t know anyone - especially if you usually feel an outsider every where.

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for sharing! 😊 I'm happy that you've found welcoming people in the knitting communities. 💕

[@fvidder2210]

This varies so widely by yarn shop and specific meetup, but yeah, they can be snobby sometimes. There's also a huge split in unspoken-or sometimes overt-rules about what you can knit there. At a lot of shops' knit nights, it's a massive faux pas to show up with yarn you bought elsewhere. I think this is dumb and a bad way to foster community, but it's quite common, and I've met knitters who were shocked that any shop would *not* have this policy. (I'm not saying your experience was this though: I've encountered plenty of unfriendly knitting store owners.) At the same time, I've been at multiple non-shop meetups where some new person arrived on a day when the usual host happened to be sick and we didn't go around and introduce ourselves in a circle and they decided the group was ~unfriendly~. These are people I chatted with. People didn't give them the silent treatment; they just didn't go out of their way to play host. Nobody was unfriendly: the new people were just insecure and expected other adults to do 100% of the social labor for them. I think a lot of this is regional. If you live in the right city and you're outgoing, you'll have a lot of options. If you live somewhere with only one meetup, you'll have to get lucky that it's a good one. I find it annoying when people act like there's just one sort of good yarn, but where I live, high end natural fiber yarns are routinely available used for cheap, including ones that do not contain wool. I absolutely do judge people I see engaging in conspicuous consumption of acrylic box store yarns, worse still if they pat themselves on the back for all their gift and donation knits (which is really, really common in this crowd). We're lucky enough to live somewhere where you don't have to shop at box stores, and most defenses of acrylic yarn are in the same vein as "But I HAVE to shop at Shein". No, you really don't, and it's probably not the best choice economically even if the price point looks low. Sometimes, a particular genre of yarn is currently only made in acrylic or a person prefers to buy from thrift shops and most of the stock is acrylic, but this isn't the majority of whining I see from insecure acrylic buyers. If some natural fiber lover is openly rude about your choices, that's one thing, but if they just fail to control their facial expression well enough, grow a thicker skin. I do always make sure to tell people about all the great local options for finding yarn, and my groups do yarn swaps where we give away a lot of good stuff even to people who didn't bring anything. Some buying choices suck. Sorry, not sorry. But the way to lure people to one's own taste is to make that taste more accessible, not to give them the silent treatment when they show up with yarn the group finds plebeian. To me, one of the most important ways of being welcoming in the community is actually pushing back against another form that I feel is toxic. Specifically, there has been a push in recent years to make everything as newbie-friendly as possible in one specific, narrow way by including ultra complete instructions and multiple video tutorials in a pattern along with extended sizing and lots of pattern support. What tends to happen is that designers and bloggers pay lip service to all this but aren't really doing that great of a job at it (e.g. promoting patterns only if they're "size inclusive" but not checking the reviews of the upper size ranges, which indicate that the grading is incompetent) and/or the field narrows to just a handful of top designers who are making enough money to justify treating this as a full time job. The far more genuinely inclusive thing would be to teach all new knitters more skills to modify a pattern that lacks waist shaping or that isn't available in enough sizes. Sure, it's nice to be able to e-mail and say "Hey, is this a typo?", but the level of hand-holding expected is terrible for small indie designers... and it's actually terrible for knitters too because it limits them in what patterns they can attempt. I'm sure someone will clutch their pearls and say that indie designers who are getting paid should be held to certain standards, but in my experience, free pattern designers are *also* held to these same wildly unreasonable standards, and this limits even what free patterns are available to the impecunious. Anyway, I've met plenty of unwelcoming people, but being secure in your choices and friendly yourself will usually handle the worst of it.

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for sharing such a comprehensive take on the challenges within the knitting community. I do understand that sometimes we misinterpret others and feel that a situation is negative when there is nothing to it. I also recognize that my way of being might differ from many-I'm genuinely curious about people and try to find something to talk about. I don’t expect others to do the same, but I do hope for some general good manners. (I know, I’ve heard that I should stop expecting that, since it’s too much to ask these days.) I understand that group dynamics are difficult too; there is usually a well-established culture that isn’t necessarily visible. That said, I try to keep in mind what Brené Brown said: “Do not look for signs of not belonging, because you’ll always find them.” Yet, in the situation I mentioned in the vlog, I didn’t need to look; it was so blatant. Now that I’ve shared that, I can let it go. About knitting with yarn bought from that should that is holding the knit night. I don’t necessarily mind that you’re supposed to knit with yarn bought from that shop (though I’m not sure how they would know, since many shops sell the same brands). But that should be communicated clearly instead of pretending that everyone is welcome with whatever they bring, when that is not the case. I would prefer that honesty (or would I?). I also didn’t know there was a thing called TEMU yarn haul videos on KZbin, and I’m honestly shocked. I think consumerism has long passed its best-before date and is simply not sustainable. I’m not sure how to educate people about this. In some cases, it’s not even about the money. I know people who are well-off but still buy from Shein and Temu. (Yes, I judge them.) It’s not just about how these items are made; it has been proven that they contain harmful chemicals. There just isn’t regulation in the same way there is in the EU, where strict standards exist for a reason. I don’t know about yarn from these entities, but I can’t imagine it being good for you. Another issue with crafting might be that we’re always trying to make too much, which costs a lot of money, so some people look for cheaper options. I’ve realized that some people have values different from mine and don’t understand that if a value doesn’t cost you anything, it’s not truly a value. Does that make sense? For example, I choose to pay more to knit with quality yarns (what counts as quality can be debatable) that I know are made with care. (This is debatable too, as not all yarn production processes are transparent.) I don’t buy anything else from brands that I know to disregard safety, working conditions, and ethics just to make a profit. I can also say that I’ve finally reached a point where I understand that owning two better-quality T-shirts instead of 50 is just fine. I hope to achieve that with my yarns too. I recognize that I am fortunate to be in a position to make these choices, but I naively believe that others can make the same choices too, it is not just about being priviledged. Regarding patterns, I don’t think everything should be newbie-friendly. While a pattern should be understandable, holding someone’s hand while they knit it doesn’t do anyone favors. I’ve come to realize that my patterns are not for beginners, because I don’t hold their hands. I try to make them clear as possible and coherent, but there is a limit of how long a basic tube pattern should be. I learned the most-not just in knitting, but in other areas-by trying things out and not being too afraid to fail. When I started knitting at age 10, we had no patterns, no magazines, no resources, so I had to improvise and experiment. I was shown the basic sts, how to knit the feather and fan pattern and that’s about it. Even later, patterns came in only one size, and I learned how to make them my own. Yes, this is a skill that should be taught or learned today-how to modify. Especially in knitting, you can usually unravel or reknit things if you make a mistake. As for size inclusivity, while I think there should be patterns available for larger sizes, trying to grade the same pattern for everyone doesn’t work (the numbers might add up, but the fit won’t). Yet, if you don’t do that, you risk being called out and canceled. I believe there is room for designers to specialise in designing for larger bodies in a way that looks great and is flattering.

[@fvidder2210]

@@themonogamousknitter Yeah, exactly. If I want something I can trust in larger sizes, I'll go for one of the plus size designers who knows what they're doing. Their design sensibility and grading are much more likely to be on point for plus sizes. Same with curvy figures vs. relatively flat. Sure, I can add shaping, but if I want a pattern whose shaping I already trust, I'll look for a designer who is themselves shaped like that and/or who seems to specialize in that. I think part of the reason for conspicuous consumption in crafting is that if people want to participate as content creators, they need to pump out content very regularly or risk becoming invisible to viewers. KZbin is already tough, as I'm sure you know, but instagram or tiktok really require posting. much more than once a week in order to get one's content seen. It's hard to make 87 micro updates on the same sweater interesting. It's easier to have a million hauls and bulky-weight hats that you can make in a day but might not want to wear for long. I blame people for falling into this a bit, but the larger share of blame goes to modern platforms and algorithms.

[@themonogamousknitter]

​@@fvidder2210Honestly, right now, I have no idea what social media platforms are doing. They've changed so much, and it's hard to know what works these days. That said, I also think people's behavior has changed. On KZbin, it's easier to comment and be engaged, in my opinion. On Instagram, no one seems to give a toss about what you're making or how many times you post (of course, it could be that I'm just shite at it). But just as an example, my latest posts have reached 80% of my followers, and I've gotten 190 likes on one and 80 on the other (sure, the post about my latest KZbin vlog might be boring, I get that). I just can't seem to understand why thousands of people are following me and not liking anything I put out. 😂 Yes, I know there are plenty of people on social media who never engage, but seriously, I post mainly about knitting, and my followers are knitters. Why are you there? Is it so hard to press that like button if you've seen my post? If the way to get noticed is a freaking TEMU haul or knitting the next ‘it sweater’ from one of the most known designers, I feel like I’m gonna cry. 😭 😄

[@judith6133]

The knitting community is the same than any other community. If you have a settled group of people it`s hard to find your place. Every one would say that they are open minded by themself but as a group they are like wolves. But other communities are the same. Yesterday I were shopping with my daughter. We went to a store, that carries everything, mostly clothes but also toys, cheap yarn and sweets. We were about to enter as a group of disabled young men with their person in charge stood at the door. We both grinned because one of them was really slow. We said hello and passed. The keeper was very unhappy with us. If I had the same situation while my disabled son accompanied me, there would be no evil eye. It would be smiling and a big hello and some small talk about slow young men.

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for sharing your experience and perspective. 😊 Indeed, joining an already established community can be challenging, and I’m not overly concerned by that. However, I do sometimes question the cost of unkindness. It feels as though we live in a world that tends to undervalue kindness.

[@kindergeek]

It would be a great loss if you were to be cancelled. Your voice is important and speaking your truth and experience is brave. LOVE the cowls that you showed today. Do you post your test knits on instagram?

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you so much for your kind words and support! 💕 Yes, I do post my test knit calls on Instagram. That said, I’m not very organized-I tend to post them when I feel the patterns are clear enough to be test-knitted. If you’d like to test knit something, feel free to reach out to me on Instagram! 😊

[@leannastoufer6333]

I have met some snooty knitters that have looked down their noses at my projects, or my fiber choices. I figure they must be bored on some level, that they have time and energy to be judgey. I don't know a lot of knitters in my community, which makes the online community even more important to me. I do love hanging out (online or in person) with people who find joy in creating and crafting.

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I’m glad the online community has been a positive space for you; it’s important to find supportive people no matter where you are. 💕

[@christinec1928]

I've had mixed receptions in various groups including knitting groups. Some are warm and welcoming, others not so much. Some groups just take a while to warm up to new people. But if they're judgmental or outright unfriendly, I'd look for a new group. There are some fine online knitting communities.

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for sharing your experience! I understand that for some, it takes time to warm up-I see that almost daily living in Finland, where people are generally reserved. However, there is a fine line between being reserved and being rude. I’m hopeful that I’ll find the community I’m looking for here on KZbin. The world is vast, and there’s room for all kinds of people. 😊

[@carlafawcett5667]

I used to have a wool shop. Ohhhhhh how I miss it. I had drop in knitting during the day and told everyone right from the start that all are welcome, they can knit with whatever, and we are not going to get clicky!! It was a great group of ladies 😊

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for sharing your perspective! 😊 It’s so nice to hear from a former shop owner. It sounds like your shop and group were truly special! 💕

[@bumblesby]

Thank you for this video. On Ravelry, the crochet community groups are very inclusive and fun. I asked if anyone knew of a similar group for knitting. They only came up with one. Very sad. I knit mostly with acrylic and for charities since that is what they want. Many men knit too, but I would say they don't feel very included either.

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for your comment! It’s great to hear that the crochet community is thriving, but it seems there’s definitely room for improvement in the knitting world. It’s surprising how, despite the rich history of men knitting and creating amazing pieces, it’s nowadays seen as unusual or out of the ordinary. And in my humble opinion, it should be the craft that brings us together, regardless of gender or background.

[@RythmnStitches]

Interesting that you say you feel like an outsider but I would rather say you are an individual who expresses your talent in a different way. I like nice things and expensive things but I am working out that there are ways to afford the things you like the most. For instance I finally upgraded to an affordable electric spinner and therefore I can now spin the most natural fibre and luxurious fibre a little quicker. Yes, it still takes time but in the end it’s beneficial to me. You may not realise it but you are sending a powerful message. Keep speaking your mind or as some may call it being ‘controversial. Still enjoying your channel.

[@themonogamousknitter]

Your kind words about my message mean a lot-I really appreciate the encouragement! 😊 It’s funny what people consider controversial; in my mind, I’m just sharing my experiences and current thoughts. I love how you reframed the feeling of being an outsider and it might indeed be a better way to look at it. That said, when it feels like there’s only one acceptable way to be or think, I can’t help but feel the pressure. Thank you again for your support! 💕

[@helmi-mariasalonen3468]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I think that there are many different groups of knitters with different personalities and preferences. I also use handspun yarns and that creates sometimes pity and sometimes it is appreciated. I am lucky enough to have found knitting friends I can share a lot of inspiration, but I do not think that whole knitting community would think in the same way. I like to try different yarns and I use less and less superwash merino because 'real wool' feels warmer and nicer too. If someone gets Joy of knitting just handdyed sw merinoyarns, I try tö not comment anything. We are allowef to like different thingss.

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences! 😊 I’m glad you’ve found friends who share your passion and inspire you.

[@jetv1471]

I think what may have happened there at that shop is this ; at shops here , I you come to the shop to knit , you BETTER BE knitting with yarn purchased AT THAT shop . I am in a very mixed “community “ knitting group in the metropolitan NE of 🇺🇸. And we knit with all kinds of yarns there. And it is a judgement free zone . Now keep in mind , I am in a progressive state… the political right would call us left , but we are not that ,,, our state flip flops party all the time . And my community is very inclusive,…. Education is a HUGE factor ,,, and a better education is available with more involved parents/ guardians.

[@themonogamousknitter]

While what you mentioned might have been the case, it still doesn’t justify sheer rudeness. Someone recently told me that expecting people to behave is 'too much' these days, as if manners are outdated. I guess I must be ancient, but I believe that showing basic courtesy is the bare minimum we should expect from one another. Yes, education and the culture(s) you've grown up in makes a difference. I'm glad to hear you found a knitting group that is inclusive and open! 💕 From what I understand (which is quite limited), the left in the U.S. is not the same as the left in Europe-it’s still closer to the center. But honestly, I don’t really understand U.S. political parties much, so I’ll leave it at that.

[@jetv1471]

@ I agree there is NO excuse ever for rude behavior! I was just trying to explain what “may” have been poorly communicated that nite … but there is STILL no excuse for their behavior!

[@booklassygarrahan3929]

You will find "middle school mean girls (or guys)" anywhere. In any group. Little cliques of snottiness based on something that's not really important. You could put them in a totally different setting, and they would do the same thing. You have to learn to ignore it or even leave if it's a hostile environment. Probably part of why that yarn shop is no longer in business. Love that wallpaper and this site.

[@themonogamousknitter]

You're absolutely right-those cliques can show up anywhere, which is always a bit baffling to me when we're supposed to be grown-ups! Sometimes it really does feel like 'middle school mean girls' all over again. And yes, the wallpaper is fabulous, isn’t it? 😊

[@lindas5964]

I don’t care what anyone else is knitting with. It’s nice if I can find someone who has similar ideas and goals of course… but not a requirement. BUT! I stay far away from people who are always looking to be offended, can’t wait to cancel someone who has the misfortune of saying the wrong thing or whatever. I think it’s sad that nearly every podcaster has to preface their video with “this is just my opinion. This is just my experience etc” because people are so quick to beat the person up and get hotly insulted by anything they do that’s different from their own way of doing things.

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! 😊 Indeed, it’s great to connect with like-minded people, but I also appreciate other perspectives and love being challenged-even when it hurts. 😅 It’s unfortunate how the culture of outrage has spread so widely, and it’s disheartening that so many creators, myself included, feel the need to preface their content with disclaimers to avoid backlash (I might just stop doing that). It’s a shame that people can’t appreciate diverse perspectives and experiences without jumping to judgment so quickly. I’ve been wondering what caused this phenomenon, but I haven’t found any clear answers. I understand the need for change, but as I mentioned in the vlog, when we only allow one way of being or thinking, our lives start to lose color.

[@Kera.S.]

If I lived near you we could definitely have an outcast knitting group together. I don't fit in a place near me at all.

[@themonogamousknitter]

It’s definitely not easy to find 'your' people. Truth be told, while I’d really love to, I’ve kind of given up on it and resolved to be the outsider. No, it doesn’t always feel great, and it can be lonely. But if I ever start my own knitting group, you’d be most welcome! 🤗

[@jenniferenright-ford1112]

I’ve seen so much of this. I tried a local group and got so much crap for knitting English. I learned to knit at 3 from my grandmother and that’s how I knit. Also many knitting groups in area are not open to those of different faiths.

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for sharing your experience-I'm so sorry to hear about it especially when the story behind it of how you learned is so personal and from what I gather cherished. By not including people because of differences like X or Z, we risk building a world of division-an 'us versus them' mentality. That said, I’m not suggesting we forcefully include everyone in every situation. But perhaps we could take a moment to see why we’re excluding certain people and consider if that’s really the path we want to follow.

[@ingermalmberg7138]

Thank you for your content and beautiful designs. I enjoy watching you from the Wind River Mountains, Central Wyoming, USA. We are currently in a no snow Dec. but winter will come at some point. Unlike your area Wyoming has over 300 days of sun ( high desert ) although the days are short we almost always have sun. It is amazing how certain populations want everyone in a certain box, I personally don’t get it. We are all individuals and do things to fit our lifestyle. I have stopped in at yarn store from the east coast of the USA to the west and if there is a group I always ask about and look at their projects. I always find something interesting. As of now my knitting group is You Tube😂 that works for me. Anyways thank you and as I am from the Cowboys State, Cowgirl up🤠

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for your kind words and for tuning in all the way from Wyoming! 🤠 It sounds like you have such a beautiful and inspiring setting to live and knit in! Indeed it’s such a shame when people try to fit others into boxes. I wish more of us embraced curiosity about different ways of doing and being. I’m glad you’ve found a great knitting community here on KZbin! 😊 💕

[@miekeverbeeck991]

I’ve visited a knitting and a crochet cafe over the last 2 years a few times in my neighborhood and havent felt ever welcome there. Its so weird, I feel eyeballed and absolutely not inclusive. And they sell wool and coffee. And I am clearly wearing hand made clothes….Another fabric shop in my neighborhood is so unwelcoming, it surprises me they still exist. I mean, aren’t they trying to sell stuff 😂? They would have a good customer on me 😅

[@themonogamousknitter]

I'm sorry to hear you've had such negative experiences at those places. Sometimes I wonder the same-it would make sense for them to want customers like us, especially since we’re clearly passionate (I hate that word, though! 😅) about crafting and willing to spend money. It’s frustrating when businesses don’t recognize the value of potential customers, but hey, it’s their business! 😄 (Pun intended.)

[@miekeverbeeck991]

@@themonogamousknitter Haha, perfect! Yes, totally. In the meanwhile, I look further for a welcoming group. I did found one, it does involve biking, taking a train and biking some more, so I only rarely can attend, but I am grateful for that. It does confirms the fact that it is possible 💥

[@themonogamousknitter]

@@miekeverbeeck991 I am happy to hear that! 🥰

[@AllezVous222]

My theory is that shops like these don’t really need to make money; they’re just there to give the owners “something to do.” So, the lack of an incentive to make money + lack of business acumen = poorly managed businesses and bad customer service.

[@snaelaki]

I had similar experiences, unfortunately, when it comes to knitting groups, local yarn stores or even knitting in public - and this is something I experienced in different countries. Today, local yarn stores (though I need to drive 2-3 hours to one nearest to me - is this even considered local anymore?) are just a place where I can touch yarn before buying it online. I am not going to support some grumpy, snarky, condescending shop owner financially, if that´s the price to pay to support local yarn stores. And I feel so sorry for the few good, and nicely run stores out there, who just disappear in this abundance of snark, condescendence, and gatekeeping. Then there´s the comment section here. So many negative experiences - it makes me sad. Imagine being a bloody beginner these days... One really needs to be a special kind of person to endure this stuff, and still happily carry on with their hobby. On a happier note: I loved your metaphor 😂 My grandpa used to say a similar thing, though his version roughly translates to "there´s more than one way to kill a pig".

[@themonogamousknitter]

I'm glad you enjoyed the metaphor! And your grandpa’s version is great too! Poor cats and pigs ! 😄😅 The comment section here probably reflects at least part of the current state of the community, and it can be eye-opening. I still hope that there is a silver lining and we all can make a difference. I understand the decision to buy online; sometimes it's just easier and more rewarding when the alternative feels unwelcoming. I’d love to support local stores and people who are genuinely friendly and civil. It’s just such a shame when the bad experiences overshadow the good ones.

[@theminimalknitter]

Well…Ravelry in 2019…the knitting community is most definitely not inclusive. There are cliques and it’s exhausting. I don’t have a LYS or a local knit night…I knit and crochet what makes me happy in whatever yarn makes me happy. Commercial or hand-dyed…it doesn’t matter. Craft the things that bring you joy, be kind to others, and live your life.

[@klz4377]

Since the extreme drama that happened on Ravelry in 2019, I rarely participate in threads. I only use it as a pattern library.

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! The knitting community still has its challenges and I’m well aware of what happened in 2019-it was unfortunate in so many ways. While I do think crafting should be about joy and personal fulfillment, it’s also worth considering what and why we create. I do believe in being kind to others, though it feels that kindness is sometimes seen as a weakness these days.

[@hannawikstrom6649]

Fellow Finn here 👋 thank you for your video, it was nice tog hear your thoughts! 😊

[@themonogamousknitter]

You are most welcome! 💕😊

[@lifeoutnumbered]

I think my only two rules that I can't really agree to disagree with people in the knitting community on is don't be wasteful and don't be rude. To me no matter how we feel about yarn types in the ecological sense if someone is not wasting their money (and to me this means staying within the budget of what they can afford) and loving the fiber they chose and not turning around and throwing it the trash when they are done then that is what matters. Yes you can argue that certain fibers are better than others but all fibers have an impact on the planet so I really hate the snobby knitpicking in the community (pun intended). And the don't be rude is self explanatory lol. I also have strong opinions on people buying yarn just for it to sit on a shelf for all of eternity and hogging resources that other people may have wanted to use right away too but even that I'm okay to agree to disagree on as long as person isn't making other people feel pressured to do the same.

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thanks for your comment and perspective! While I think it’s important to be mindful of what we buy, it’s also true that the pressure to make the “right” choice can be overwhelming. There’s definitely a trend in the community to fit into certain molds-whether that’s using specific yarns, knitting the popular projects, or (still!) finding the “best” deal. I think it’s hard to break out of that cycle, because ti takes effort and acknowledging that we have problem. It is so much easier to bury our heads in the sand. I also find that creativity can be its own challenge, I mean how many beanies do I really need, or socks? I that mindful making? I know already the answer, but I don’t want to hear it or I keep lying to myself like `but these are things that I’ll wear for years`. Even so, there is no real need, just the want and that is a struggle.

[@fionasteinbrecht60]

You're great , disappointed ladies Agh 😂 the worst ! Just do you, it's what works , don't like the exclusivity of what you experienced 😢

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you four your kind words! 😊💕

[@nadja9331]

❤🌈🧶

[@kurjenmarjankeitokset7355]

Mulla on kyllä saman suuntaisia kokemuksia, ja en osaa sanoa johtuvatko ne minusta vai muista 😁 Tiedän että mun normi ilme on "vihainen" tai "tympääntynyt" ja tämä voi aiheuttaa hämmennystä muissa. Uskon että monessa ryhmässä on valtaosa ihmisistä epävarmoja itsestään ja uuden henkilön tullessa paikalle useampikin käyttäytyy epäystävällisesti tai sen oloisesti. Eli usein olen itse ajatellut että kyse on molemmin puolisesta väärintulkinnasta. Niin tai näin, klikkejä on ja niihin on haastava päästä. Itse en ole koskaan onnistunut sujahtamaan mihinkään ryhmään sen enempää neulemaailmassa kuin muuallakaan, lukuunottamatta nykyistä koiraharrastusporukkaani. Of topic, aloitin juuri uuden englanninkielisen neulekanavan vanhan suomenkielisen rinnalle. Arvostan, jos vilkaiset 😊

[@kurjenmarjankeitokset7355]

Ja sitten mä kommentoin vanhalta kanavalta 🫣 uusi on siis @mydiversetapestry

[@mydiversetapestry]

Eli tämä on uusi kanavani 😁

[@pialindeg]

The most criticizing people out there is often those who knows the least about knitting. The snobs with the expensive yarns, are often the most insecure people and wants to make other people smaller, so they can feel themselves great again. I do know the snobs and all the narcissistic people in knitting. It can also be the other way around, that the "acrylic-knitters" ridicule other knitters, who prefer to use wool or other yarns. Some people use a knitting community to take power over other people - it ssad and very, very annoying. Dont take them serious - turn your back on "the fine ladies". Ladies with not much self-esteem.

[@themonogamousknitter]

Thank you for your comment! You raise some interesting points. I think it’s true that insecurity often plays a role, but for my part, I’ve moved beyond trying to understand the reasons behind bad behavior (I spent most of my adult life analyzing people’s actions, including my own. Even when I understand the reasons, it doesn’t change anything, so I stopped). I believe knitting-and any other craft or art-should be about creativity and joy, not tearing others down or trying to feel superior. Thankfully, I think I’ve already taken your advice and said goodbye to those who made me feel unwelcome, used, or anything else negative. (Yes, I understand that I allowed it, but keeping my distance is what works for me.)

[@villapulla]

En ole käynyt neulomistapahtumissa Suomessa, mutta Italiassa kokemukseni neulomisiltamista ovat olleet tosi hyviä. Vaikka tapahtumat, joissa olen käynyt ovat paikallisen lankakaupan järkkäämiä en kokenut mitään paineita käyttää sieltä ostettuja lankoja eikä kaupan omistaja katsonut mun lankoja mitenkään pahasti. Ajatus siitä, että neuletapahtumaan voi tuoda vain tiettyjä lankoja ja projekteja on mielestäni aika kummallinen.

[@themonogamousknitter]

Kiitos kommentistasi! 😊 On kiva kuulla, että jossain päin maailmaa homma toimii. Minusta se, että neulomistapahtumissa pitäisi olla tietyt langat tai projektit on kanssa outo ajatus. Valitettavasti muiden ihmisten kertomuksista voi päätellä, että tällaisia paineita on kuitenkin olemassa.

[@MagpieMalone]

Calling a toque a 'beanie' is blasphemous and you are now banned from Canada. 😂

[@themonogamousknitter]

😄🥰

[@shebear9251]

Ok, I really need to say this: girl, I would dearly like to be your friend. It is so hard to find people with opinions, who are not sugarcoating everything, who are open and vulnerable at the same times as they are speaking their truth, as well as admitting humbly that this might only be their truth, not THE truth. Anyhow, leaving this here: if you like, get in touch :) Would love that. If not, I'll still be watching your vids while doing my little loops with my little sticks. 🫶🌲🍪

[@themonogamousknitter]

Aw, thank you for your kind words! It truly means so much to me that what I’m sharing resonates with you. 🥰 Indeed this might not be the only truth. I might get in touch at some point, though I’ll admit, I’m not the best at online interactions. 😅 And “loops with little sticks” is such a lovely metaphor. 💕