INCREASE LIFESPAN by Recalling Positive Memories - A Simple Technique to Improve Health!

Mayim breaks down famous relationship expert, Dr. David Richo’s ,“5 A’s” (Attention, Acceptance, Appreciation, Allowing, Affection) and their crucial role in fostering healthy connections in this BRAND NEW Thursday episode of MBB. (This is what happens when one AMA submission turns into an entire full episode!)
Discover how missing these elements in childhood can impact adulthood and adult relationships, why social connection is vital for our mental and physical health, and what is actually going on in the brain when we connect or don't connect with others.
Explore how the brain's stress pathways either play into social deprivation or a desire for social connection through our default mode network, how the brain's reward system of positive memory recall can increase your social battery and even your lifespan, and learn why social media can't replace real human interaction.
We also dive into:
- The detrimental effects of isolation on physical and mental health
- How shared experiences create lasting bonds
- The benefits of parallel play in children and adults
- Which age group social interaction is most critical for
- The importance of memory coding around
- How the brain is wired to give in to peer pressure
- Why loneliness is hard to escape without proper motivation
- What leads us to crave alone time and how do we know when isolation has become unhealthy for us?
DON'T MISS this crucial episode on the dangers of withholding from your relationships, and the positive behaviors that can get us back on track!
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CHAPTERS:
0:00 - Intro
2:35 - The 5 A’s of Human Connection
5:43 - Attention
6:27 - Acceptance
8:27 - Appreciation
10:09 - Allowing
10:55 - Admiration
18:30 - How to Navigate Adulthood without Receiving the 5 A's in Childhood
27:25 - Brain Systems Involved in Social Connection
30:06 - Reward, Stress, & Social Cognition in the Brain
31:04 - The Detrimental Effects of Isolation on Physical & Mental Health
43:38 - Loneliness Impact on Adolescents
49:07 - Why Even Bad Relationships Can Be Good for You
50:09 - The Importance of Maintaining Long Relationships
54:00 - Recruit Your Positive Memories for Longevity
57:20 - How Shared Experiences Create Lasting Bonds
1:10:52 - Default Mode Network
1:11:50 - Isolation vs "Alone Time"
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Find Mayim Bialik:
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Check out our full episode with Dr. David Richo: • Dr. David Richo: Don’t...
The Neuron Journal - Characterizing the Mechanisms of Social Connection: www.sciencedirect.com/science...
USA Today article on the impact of loneliness: www.usatoday.com/story/news/h...
Theme Song Written, Produced, and Performed by Ed Robertson. Mixed by Kenny Luong.
#MayimBialik​​​ #BialikBreakdown #SocialConnection #Loneliness #Isolation #BrainHealth #SocialCognition #Dopamine

[@MayimBialik]

When do you notice yourself craving alone time the most? What's your favorite way to spend time by yourself?? 🏄‍♀

[@marciovieira7849]

Gosto de ficar sozinho, aos sábados a tardezinha, pra ouvir música e tomar um bom vinho, e refletir sobre a vida.

[@coppersense999]

What is YOUR favorite passtime Mayim? Whatever it is, it's working. Looking lovely and healthy (not that it matters, compared to the glow of your intellect, personality and hard-earned wisdom). Regardless, happy to see you doing well. Love your work. And your hair. I'm shallow, okay?

[@SarahStephanieLandry]

Thank you for another powerful podcast, Mayim. Somehow, you have a way of telling me exactly what I want to hear. For example, at 51:10 you talk about stri-aidal neuro circuits. (I've tried to google the term, but could only find "steroidal neuro circuits" since I'm not well versed in the terminology, lol.) I've spent the last few days contemplating how my memories hold the key to the realization of my highest purpose in life, (as I feel everyone's memories do,) and what you shared completely validated my points. Thanks for always, always, always validating points you don't even know your viewers need validated. (Update in case anyone reading this is wondering: it's spelled striatal and refers to a part of the brain called the striatum. Good thing I have a neuroscientist uncle who just read the paper and knew what I was talking about, cause autocorrect doesn't know the word yet.)

[@heatherporterfield4651]

I walk around the lake in my town and listen to podcasts, MBBB 3/4 of the time ❤. I find myself doing this more and more. Being in the sun, surrounded by greens and the birds singing, and hearing meaningful and relevant messages has been very healing for me. Thank you M&J!

[@kerryk6472]

Having “Avoidant Personality Disorder”….that’s a tough thing to answer. My favourite times are spent at home with my husband (my kids are grown and have left home). I love being on the front porch of my 100 year old farmhouse, watching the birds and squirrels eating from the feeders. Sometimes I crave friends….other times it scares me enough to keep people at a distance.

[@jerbyjerb5672]

@mayim, Johnathan and team, I started treatment for depression today, and it is because if listening to your program. This was the first step, I don't really have anyone in my life to express these emotions to, but you have really helped me step into the right direction. I cannot afford therapy but I have been able to start mild medication. I want to sincerely thank all of you for everything that you do.

[@labab1048]

Meds aren’t going to change your thoughts, heart….change your THOUGHT PATTERNS by becoming aware of said “thoughts” and that 95% aren’t true…awareness learning is your way forward. Start with the book, “The Untethered Sole by Michael A Singer”…start learning about the trap that is your inner dialogue.

[@daniellejones6339]

I too am alone, and It's really hard when you have No one to talk with. To be able to express yourself, and have someone to listen and validate you and actually care. Medication can help slow down your thoughts to be able to work through things. It's helpful 😊

[@labab1048]

@@daniellejones6339 YOU already possess the ability to slow your own thoughts down…becoming AWARE of the thought itself

[@MayimBialik]

Thanks for sharing and for being here! 🧠🫶

[@marciovieira7849]

Assisti agora esse episódio. Obrigado!! Realmente não considero uma escolha sábia nos vivermos isolados. Acredito que faz muito mal. Nos tornamos tristes e sem perspectivas boas pra nossa vida , se vivermos assim, isolados. Então vamos nos "socializar mais e mais" ! Obrigado daqui do Brasil ❤

[@beckycurry7456]

As an adult with ASD I would personally really love for you to do an episode on the different challenges that most definitely presents. I'm 46 female and I would love to have had friends and a support system. Unfortunately due to the social aspect of autism as well as other components I have had such an adverse experience in life especially when it comes to the social experience. My body will NOT allow me to put myself in that situation again. Thanks love what you do!😊

[@matiaspereira9382]

Today is finally the day you'll return as Amy in Young Sheldon, Mayim! I can't wait to see you again as Amy! Also Big Bang Theory ended 5 years ago today too. I really miss the show. I'll miss Young Sheldon too

[@marciovieira7849]

Eu assisto aqui no Brasil semanalmente as reprises, e me tem.feito muito bem, dou muitas risadas. Curto muito sua personagem Mayim. Acho incrível!!!

[@joygwin6673]

great episode

[@davidalfonsokrobothpalmer4604]

True! In fact 20% of patients with depression only required social activities rather than medications. In some cases a combination of medication with social activities was the right answer.

[@marisamartinezolivera]

I want to sincerely thank the person submitting to some AMA episode the question that have lead us to enjoy this enlightenig episode! Btw, from one here who found her bestie (or her twin soul or sister from another parents living in another country) at early social nets times discussing in another one’s blog about the Blues music we both enjoyed..back in 2005 Facebook!

[@sososanchez3512]

I absolutely. Agree.. The reason my mom comes to my sister's and my and my house each weekend even though she lives with my brother his wife and my three nephews... Social interaction even just being around a different environment.Other people sitting outside is vital..

[@martiwndr]

I am a person that can get very stressed out and anxious if i have too many social interactions back to back without any down time, and when that happens i tend to seek alone time, but i have noticed that my unhealthy alone time begins when no matter how much alone time i have, even if i am craving it, i don't feel better, and to me it means i need to seek interaction once again. What helps this usually is meaningful or unexpected interaction instead of interacting with others "just so i dont feel alone".. It's hard to distinguish this from FOMO sometimes, but it helps to be aware of it!

[@bouldergirl528]

So I am the youngest of five, shared a bedroom with two sisters. Got married young, had two kids, became a single mom. I relished the weekends they went to their dad's house. They're adults on their own now, and for the first time in my life, I'm living alone. And I LOVE it! I'm alone more than I'm with someone. I loved the pandemic because I could stay home and do my own thing.

[@babaum]

This breakdown took me to a very deep understanding of a few "aspects" I have. I have a deep appreciation for isolation, I'm extremely shy and I avoid risks. Whenever I had to deal with challenges to these aspects, I *always* leverage my best affective, positive memories, because I have them so vivid in my mind at all times. My entire motivation for exercising comes from music that takes me back to good moments. This was worth more than months of therapy. Congrats, and thank you :)

[@honestlee3556]

Bonus Bialik Breakdown Brain Boost! I needed this. I am living isolated so I am grateful for all of this information. Thank you for getting the info out in a way I can understand and grow from. I do enjoy some alone time but the last few years have pushed me to the edge. Today I will write down memories to keep me going. I will also push out of my semi-comfortable zone to connect more and seek better quality connections.

[@rockstargirl213]

The connection between positive memories and childhood. The first thought that came to my mind was Neverland. ✨ Your Happy Thoughts 💭 That's what saved Peter. Our Childhood happy thoughts keep us young.

[@glennarussell4682]

My daughter being a caregiver, during " 2020," I stayed home, had my needs met by home delivery and watched live streams of my Church services. 2023, I made the ( true ) excuse of not wanting to bring an event down by my aging appearance, creating a distraction away from the planned event. No one wants to look their own mortality strait in the face. Not for more than a few seconds, anyway. I have taken steps to get out of my comfort zone and take steps to interact more socially in 2024. I found this topic today, extremely helpful. Thumbs up and love, from S. California.

[@susan1156]

Very enlightening discussion. For someone who tends to enjoy my alone time, I do have a hard time differentiating between isolation and enjoyable alone time. I can see how life experiences can affect this as well. Thank you for giving me some solid think time subject matter.

[@MissBehavedBHT]

I feel more alone and isolated when I’m around other people. To be fair, I have CPTSD and was provided sever and prolonged trauma as a child so statistically it makes sense I’d be the small percentage that prefers being alone. New to the channel and enjoying it!

[@MayimBialik]

Glad you’re enjoying the podcast! Thanks for being here! 🫶🧠

[@zhylacontreras7812]

I loved this episode, and the way everything was wonderfully explained by Mayim. More of this, please! ❤

[@m_brokenleg]

Two episodes in a week? The second with Mayim and Jonathan in an AMA format dissecting David’s Richo teachings..and how loneliness affected us (even after a pandemic lockdown). What we did to deserve it? 💜

[@guidofeliz8384]

I have been a loner all my life. My happy time is when I am alone. Most people are fake. They stress me out.

[@cheneejoysocuano4773]

this conversation really resonates with me... you two are very wonderful...

[@joseluisschutz1481]

This subject came in the prfect momento for me, thanks mayim

[@louisbonilla6780]

Great topic fabulous bonus episode - got out of a toxic relationship recently and your analysis of David Richo's teachings rewarded me with blessed forethought- Thank you Mayim & Jonathan ❤

[@MayimBialik]

Thank you for being here! 🫶🧠

[@cathyray6030]

Even though I have a boyfriend, I feel lonely a lot of the time.... Thank you for the information and I'm going to try to connect with people more often. I'm an introvert, so it is hard for me to do, but I will try to push myself to get out or at least speak to someone on the phone! Thank you!!

[@Tropicalpisces]

You got the Barenaked Ladies to do your theme song!!???!❤❤❤❤ Yes. That was a lovely hit of dopamine😁👏👏👏

[@marciovieira7849]

Ficar isolado com certeza não é bom para a saúde mental e fisica também. Por isso, vamos nos socializar. Excelente episódio!! Obrigado daqui do Brasil ❤

[@orland0110]

Thank you so much for making my day with this interesting video Mayim! ❤

[@lisaboo5806]

I found this so fascinating thank you ❤

[@danaw23]

What an awesome and needed conversation to listen to. Thank you!!

[@nicolecorsillo]

Wow! This is so good I need to listen to it again! I’ve learned so much!!!! Thank you! ♥️

[@Awesomlyanna]

Good morning yay bonus episode 🎉

[@tomlichnofsky.7048]

May The Awesomeness Continue! 👊😊✊ I'm Paying attention 👍👌🍁 Stay Golden 👋😊👋🍁

[@timphares3061]

Love your videos, miss you on Jeopardy!

[@MsIzzi]

I ❤ this list and the way you have presented it. ❤❤❤

[@brittven]

go vegan

[@nettiesantos4664]

Good morning. Thank you for covering this topic. As an "essential employee" I have been in counseling for this reason since 2020.

[@colleenmurphy1815]

Thank you Jonathan. Now I have to Google, sea lion sneezing. Love your content, your podcast and the two of you together.❤

[@MayimBialik]

🥹🤯

[@TeresaHart2009]

I'm socially isolated I don't want to talk really but I'm trying to pull out

[@mlove.1376]

Thanks for this topic Myiam and Jonathan. I am applying it to the isolation that takes place in High Control Groups regarding children that are brought up/raised in one and the life long affects it has on them even after they leave the group. Very interesting subject.

[@mlove.1376]

Ahhhhhh the joy of being able to laugh at myself being dyslexic Mayim.

[@michellezevenaar]

The being allowed one I see in my inlaws family. They focused on telling you everything that could go wrong with anything you plan on doing. They saw that as caring by preparing you for the thing. I saw it as bad mouthing my work and tryingtotalk me out of it. Not wantingme to do something. I can now imagine the way that damaged my partner.

[@user-xg5fh7ke8v]

Boy howdy! I can relate to your partner's baggage trauma. My parents did exactly that, focusing most especially on unavoidable heart disease. They insinuated it was a birth right from my father's side of the family.

[@michellezevenaar]

@user-xg5fh7ke8v crazy thing is there could be a genetic component that increases it or even cause a deforestation. The fear mongering though doesn't help anyone.

[@guitardiva2]

Wish I had those waves and curls. Must be cuz your brain produces such rich content 😊

[@jamiersher5131]

Who's brain immediately went to the "herb garden germination" episode when Mayim started talking about gossip? Just me? Cool!

[@altaresjoyceee]

Woooow! Special episode ❤ Thank you MBB Team for this! will definitely have MBB marathon next thursday on my birthday! 😊 will invite my friends and tell them about this podcast 😊

[@MayimBialik]

Thank you for being here! 🫶🧠

[@lovedbysome5402]

I've been lonely a lot lately, and I am making baby steps to reconnect. Yeah, Covid did do a number on my social connections, which continue on the phone, but not in person. Its not the same. Its like those muscles enthrophied.

[@katherinewong2901]

This explains why not working for 5 months has caused me to max my credit cards on 2 - 5 Lego sets a day grabbing dopamine. HEY! You're finally talking about Esalen! It'd be great to see ya in the Lodge. ❤

[@Tropicalpisces]

Oh man the pandemic got me good for Lego😅

[@catwhisperer968]

This segment will help our Prevention coalition. We have a little project coming up for the community next week. 😎. ‘Mental health Awareness’ The 5 A’s 💕💕 I’m printing out on postcards.

[@eblais6452]

Hi Mayim, i love your hair this way btw, you should always wear it curly it's gorgeous

[@samsmulders7908]

Blessed with 2 amazing episodes this week🙏🏼. Thank you so much for covering this topic! I learned a lot from this one🧠! Very grateful for you Mayim and Jonathan❤️

[@stacybrodsky3026]

I love all “breakdown” episodes. Would it be possible to lower the music or change the background music of introduction of what you’re going to talk about. The music is seems counter productive and challenging focus on topic.

[@jacksonmartin8899]

We have to figure out how to get back to a sense of community generally. We don't even have watercooler moments anymore because we don't have many shared experiences, except maybe some large traumatic ones. We need to have fewer, not more, options in life so we can experience the same things more. Then we can share them and bond over them. When we work online and shop online we deprive ourselves of important interactions with other people we might not "choose" to interact with. And we grow from these experiences, and learn how to understand others. We further isolate ourselves from new experiences, and I fear we're only now seeing the first glimpses of where this leads us as a society and world. The technology of the 20th century mostly brought us together and gave us some broader sense of connection, but 21st century technology seems to be doing just the opposite - tearing us apart and creating isolation. While it's interesting, I suppose, understanding the neurobiology behind it, I don't see how that fixes anything, It could even encourage new technologies to try to "treat" it, but I think that would be the wrong choice. We need to return to what creates connection and a sense of community. And those things were understood long before many of our modern technologies. Just because we can do some things doesn't require us to do them if the results will make us more vulnerable to alienation from our humanity. Much of our current trajectory is driven by fear - fear of the other, the enemy, ourselves - and so we head down these paths imagining we're saving our lives. But we're also selling our souls. So what is gained?

[@discohandgliding]

How can we apply this knowledge to people with shared PTSD (as in military veterans & civilians after a war, survivors of attacks, police members after a crisis, etc)? It would seem that “trauma bonding” is a way to connect with each other but not with anyone outside their experience. How can these people move in a more healing direction?

[@mitrolltv]

Agreed 💯

[@asmiles23]

@MayimBialik I pre-apologize if you’ve done a video/response to this type of question. But I want to ask your thoughts on how to rewire my brain when it comes to my self-image and my thoughts with food. I’ve always struggled with my body image (get it from my mom, i am currently in therapy but still a struggle) so much to the point I want to isolate from the world. I’m a little overweight but not so much so that my doctors show concern. I just have a hard time not seeing myself as a blob and tearing myself down. I eat relatively healthy, exercise a few times a week but I still struggle. Another issue I have is that I love food, cooking is a secondary passion of mine but sometimes I feel like my love of food conflicts with the view I have of my body, triggering my ED. My biggest fear is to continue having this mental battle with myself forever or passing it to my own future children. What should I do?

[@333mystic]

Here's a fact more people are on the planet. More people live in cities. The world society separates us from family more and more (I know for some that's a reason to move) however being single is a financial cost of living stress. Here in the UK the cost of a 1 bed apartment is at least £1200 a month then you have bills and taxes. The rise of houses now being split into rooms has created a serious mental health issue and a friend recently felt isolated lonely depressed and got into a toxic relationship believing it was safer cheaper better but it was coercive control and abuse. Society has a major problem and it is not going away. Divorces also now cause much more problems and so we must really educate the people to be ready emotionally and then demand better options for where and how to live that don't just appeal to high wage earners or now those that are forced to work from home in a small apartment. ✨️👏

[@user-jg8xs2cz3s]

Mayim, I apologize up front. Because I don't know where to post. Ask Mayim anything. In your opinion. Is, Ag1. Enough for good stomach health. Or Ritual Synbiotic + . Also with the Ag1? Any help is appreciated.

[@user-td5lw1nq2o]

I isolate. But i never feel alone or lonely.

[@NDNABAthePodcast]

I hope my fellow behavioral ABA heads are listening ❤

[@fairygodmotherflowerEternal221]

❤❤😊

[@pattyviveros2694]

Thank you ❤ you & your team are a gift to the human race

[@MayimBialik]

🥹🤯

[@frankiebergstien6003]

So does that mean I have to go into my Quasimodo phase while my kids are going through their pheromones changing?

[@connorclouse321]

Hey, Mayim. How have you been doing today?

[@helenkidd3124]

Sign me up for the Friday Blessing, please. Helen

[@AllThingsMoneyandTech]

Like when people get involved in gangs. Many will join gangs for the social reasons because they weren’t accepted anywhere else.

[@SadlyBest]

I'm sad that I don't get a good star...

[@wendychambers4528]

Oh Mayim, you know a good D&D game is a gourmet pizza equivalent.

[@russ7414]

I grew up in a Non-Jewish home. Who couldn't use a little berachah?

[@guitardiva2]

I find maintaining relationships exhausting 😅

[@darnitthelma4247]

I love been alone😂 Then again I have teenagers, a husband, a busy busy life, a hectic job so any time alone I cherish 😊

[@r2b2sw25]

I was just wondering, how do you reconcile your faith and a show like the Big Bang theory that based on evolution? Just wondering.

[@omriom]

שבת שלום❤

[@Bblb1997]

But honestly, are there good parents? Where are their children?

[@DrVVVinK]

America did this to themselves as design, with our individualistic society where we live spread out in non- walkable cities. Compare this to a place like Italy, where they have walkable cities, strong family units, and a sense of community. At the same time the drink, smoke, and east a lot of carbs.

[@user-un7ve8nk4z]

In this segment, where you speak of even bad relationships can be good for you, I disagree. There are some relationships you need to sever for the health of yourself, and those around you, even if their family, I am happier feel much better healthwise I’m doing much better on even my blood work and emotions because of severing relationships that were harmful. Emotional disrespect is damaging.

[@user-un7ve8nk4z]

When you love yourself as you, should, you can be alone and still find happiness, and most importantly peace.

[@JeremyMatthews-dg8ou]

Ever wonder if your videos are used to hurt people?

[@krispyKream002]