INFJ Relationships: What They Need to Feel Loved

[@celestial1988]

As an INFJ, its almost scary listening to another INFJ speak. It’s just like listening to my own inner world for 20 mins. I wonder how many other people ACTUALLY get us?! 😅

[@figmodaddy2996]

Only a true INFJ gets it. All the others are just wanabees. Ha!

[@KoyLejeune]

We are connected more than you realize :p

[@lorenzovillegas2457]

The gift giving thing is real! I always feel anxiety when gifting is expected. I usually feel like I fail this one.

[@faresahmad6774]

On topic, I have no doubt that this KZbin video will make thousands of humans feel seen and loved, as it did me. Thank you, Amy 🙏🏽

[@amy-lyne]

Happy I reached my goal of trying to spread the love to at least one person. Your words mean a lot 🙂 thank you, Fares 🦋

[@talonthorn]

@@amy-lyne THIS!! is what we (INFJ) live for. Touching hearts.💕

[@codreaming9304]

The hardest part, for me, is being so empathic. I work with the senior community and it is so fulfilling. Yesterday a gentleman pulled me aside and told me his wife is fighting cancer (I had no idea) and he was fighting back tears. His love for her is beyond comprehension. I’ve known this since I’ve met them. They are the best of friends and you don’t see one without seeing the other. They hold hands down the hallway and he carries her oxygen tank and all of her belongings. Anyway, I stood there crying like a baby as he was thanking me for including her. He wants her last days/months to be filled with joy (as they should). I sat back down and couldn’t keep my composure. The tears streamed down my face and I had to escape to the bathroom. I spent the next (5) minutes telling myself (out loud) “Come on, pull yourself together “ and taking deep breaths. The pain I felt from him and the deep level of love he exuded for her penetrated me and I broke 😢.

[@amy-lyne]

@@codreaming9304 beautiful story 💛

[@Newgrist]

Why would you not consider yourself an INTJ?

[@talonthorn]

...and now my eyes are filled with tears as well! Empathy❣

[@codreaming9304]

@@Newgrist definitely not an INTJ ☺️

[@sanholobeats]

Such a profound video! I almost felt understood for a second :) I've always struggled with the validity of the love language concept. I think it's a great tool but it might be a little oversimplified. Many people might disagree with me on this and I can't put it into words perfectly, but sometimes it feels like the love language concept is more about some sort of surface level love. No amount of gifts, words of affirmation or physical touch can get close to the feeling of love beyond form. I've felt it from just looking into someones eyes or sitting next to someone, at peace... Like a deep acceptance, feeling truly seen by someone for who you are at your core....

[@amy-lyne]

@sanholobeats ah, yes, I understand what you're saying. It's the essence behind the actions that matter most. That potent substance of a person's soul you can't put to words. The depth of that substance changes the quality of the interaction and the touch of love. Great comment 🦋 (also, great music 💛)

[@leech3333]

This is probably the best explained infj video I have heard, very well articulated. I also hate receiving and giving material presents I find it pointless.

[@aaronpicking4935]

👏👏👏👏

[@JeremyPezzeca]

As a 50 year old infj, ive been thru it all with people. For me, i need to know the person really cares and if they do it will be shown in actions. They will actually want to know me and ask lots of questions. Being appreciated is very important as well. Im not sure about other personality traits but when i or we find true genuine people who really care, we view them as one of lifes greatest treasures. Its rare i meet people like this but when i do i treat them like royalty

[@stein0niets]

Recognise a lot as INFP thanks for sharing your thoughts! I very often feel like I am not even from this planet. It might help me setting up my environment/goals better orientating more on my "sweetspot" instead of trying to change the way I am. Thanks hope it will reach/help many people!

[@amy-lyne]

@@stein0niets happy to connect with the INFP's out there 🦋

[@MrZirun]

There is incredible energy speaking through you. It's like a massage for my body and soul. Bless you too!

[@MaxAllsbrooks]

Absolutely spot on with everything. It is very odd to hear a fellow INFJ dig into these topics. Really enjoying your videos. Please keep it up!🖤

[@TheKevinNewsom]

I appreciate the rawness of this video.

[@khornyo]

Very insightful and accurate depiction of the internal process. In my experience INFJ is almost guaranteed to be a naturally highly gifted empathic person. The hardwiring nature of them seeks someone that can sense the truth behind the surface like themselves. This is of course a statistically challenging search as many live on the surface.

[@amy-lyne]

@khornyo thank you for watching 🦋 deep speaks to deep

[@khornyo]

@@amy-lyne 💛💛💛

[@ckyung1312]

We spend so much time seeking to understand others… so for me, being seen and truly understood is the jelly to my peanut butter sandwich.

[@medots6194]

Hearing you speak about topics in words that highly resonate with my viewpoint is... Incredibly theraputic :') I very much agree on the majority of topics :) For me... To feel wholy loved... I need a person that both understands me to a degree, and has the desire to want to understand me in the first place. I am facinated by people in all of the kinds they come in... And I crave someone to mirror such a desire for understanding and connection... To explore the intricacies and wonders of the world together... To talk about anything and everything... That's the person I yearn to find someday.

[@justcallmejon22]

You explained this topic really well, thank you!

[@amy-lyne]

@justcallmejon22 thanks for watching 🦋

[@Ivy-o6p]

12:16 are those literal "innocent vibes" coming out of your head? 😄👌 I had to rewatch. I thoroughly resonated with every minute of this video. Thank you so so much! 🌿

[@amy-lyne]

😂 I'm so glad somebody noticed that! I think a car was driving by, and the light went through the blinds. Hilarious synchronicity

[@indigomosquitospeedos]

"howz it going?" is the most dreaded question first thing in the morning --- because i don't like giving half-assed answers and don't want to get all wound up opening another can of misunderstood worms . don't get me wrong though --- nothing gets me more fired up on all cylinders faster than being outraged over insincere flattery . luckily having opportunities to incite --- insight tends to really make my day seem more meaningful ... there's nothing more enjoyable than feeling useful and learning new thingks !

[@DearYoungerSelf111]

I also hate "how are you" - sometimes I don't readily know - and this is one of those standard surface question people ask - and don't mind answering -

[@because9648]

Great Video! I think all INFJ's need help or at the very least support in their "calling" from their partner.

[@amy-lyne]

@@because9648 that's a great one! Our dreams and visions for the future mean a lot to us, very true 👍

[@monicad7222]

I really appreciate all your videos Amy. You make me feel seen :)

[@M3ridian]

I don't know why KZbin recommended me a KZbin channel about INFJs, but I thought that the imagery regarding anger had an interesting implication that helped me figure something out. Thanks for that.

[@amy-lyne]

@M3ridian thanks for watching! Imagery regarding anger? Perhaps that was from my sensitivity video. I will likely be expanding out of INFJ to other topics here soon 🦋

[@Jack_huntakilla]

you are a very very, very very beautiful person and women! -male infj here

[@vincentkretzschmar4988]

Perfect timing to watch this. Just joined an INFJ entrepreneurs group with a video call once a month

[@rosezaz6607]

What is the name of the group & how to find out more about it? Thank you.

[@jaimeflor4181]

Hi again Amy, we definitely think a lot. Ni shows full brain activity as well on EEG’s, so it’s described as slow thoughtful process that leads to insights and pattern based predictions. I once voluntarily stayed at a mental health facility for 2 weeks @ age 16. One of the other patients approached me later & said “you’re a deep thinker aren’t you!?” I guess I was lost in deep thought & she had noticed that this was my norm.

[@srdbranding]

I’m INFJ and my thoughts never stop but that’s what makes me interesting.

[@pearl5016]

❤ Gush thank you for this video. It was just recently someone asked me what I thought and it stood out to me so strongly. Your video helped me understand this more and gosh I love that. Thank you. As for the 5 love languages. Quality Time *via quality conversation and this can be inclusive with the rest of the love languages because it is all conversation. But the quality with which you share your time means everything to me.

[@SandyTaboo]

I’m really good at gift giving cause im so observant and I like to gift my loved ones things they need, have mentioned before, or to help them expand their artistry or character / development

[@melancholiusmonkey-mann5749]

I am so happy to see you back. Your thoughts and words are therapeutic... Thank you

[@eagleaura6718]

Thank you for sharing your INFJ thoughts!!! It is reassuring, even for other INFJs who are less social. I appreciate your channel! 🙌🏻

[@thespeaker5312]

I needed this. Thank you

[@Odie-Goat]

I LOVE ❤️ THIS! Very good words. I'm saving it and following you. You are definitely and very aware INFJ! Blessings 🙌🏾!

[@jessebelanger9753]

WOW you are describing me to a tee. I love using words to give life to my stories.

[@talonthorn]

I believe the key to any INFJ's heart is wanting to connect with them, especially on a deep level. It is perhaps a coming into harmony with the INFJ's thoughts, to put it another way. This doesn't mean agreeing with them, but quite contrary, it means mutually exploring the deep things with a shared admiration and wonder of it all. It isn't about solving; it is about freely exploring and never really knowing for sure where it will lead until you get there. Love Languages: 1. Spending time together 2. Touch 3. Words Gifts? Meh! Give me yourself, your time, your thoughts, your emotions (good and bad), and share in mine.

[@chevelle1967]

Something Ive learn the last couple years with compliments, is just say thank you and keep going. I relate very well to your thoughts on compliments as it seems it makes me feel awkward. Ive been pretty much alone a very long time. I turned 57 recently, its been close to 15 years the kids Mom left and no it wasnt easy for me, I was very broken a very long time and likely just now to the point Im feeling very lonely.... Honestly I dont know Ive ever had someone in my life that really knew me or have understood me. I know to a degree I havent let anyone completely in for complex reasons I thought I could leave behind. I know that I cant do that now. Theres got to be more to life than just being here for me and being alone Id like to think...

[@brandoncasperson4245]

Thank you for the information. I feel the topics you’re helping us know.

[@Huiothesia]

Awww feels like u need love. Hope you get it soon.

[@reyne-soundtherapy469]

TL;DR My INFJ Love Language Priority List: 1. Physical Touch 2. Quality Time 3. Acts of Service 4. Words of Affirmation 5. Gift Giving I'm not too keen on the love languages as I feel they seem more like symptoms of intentions rather than expressions of "love". I would rather hone in on the intentions themselves. This list is specifically about priorities in receiving as an INFJ, not expressing to others. Words of Affirmation I would put in the 2nd to last as it can be a double edged sword instead of a purely positive expression. INFJs can get in our own heads pretty easily and so if we receive words of affirmation too quickly from a person, there can be a lot of doubt as to the other's intentions. The positive is that expressing their belief in me, which is generally the intention for words of affirmation, can help alleviate some self-doubt I may have in a situation I'm struggling with. The negative is that if I don't know the other well enough (or if I know they are willing to lie) than words of affirmation feel manipulative instead of inspirational. Plus words are a cheaper currency when compared to actions, especially in regards to love. Quality Time is going to be #2 for me. We definitely go through push and pull social cycles in our life and so while time together feels great and helps to further a connection with others, we also require time alone to spend in our own mind for processing, contemplating, and also charging up our curiosity for the other so the next time we meet we show up fully engaged. It can get tiring quickly if we are always spending quality time with another. I think your examples of taking a walk or pursuing a creative endeavor together reflect this as these activities require you to be present, yet still have enough space (low stimuli) to think, I feel like making music (or any collaborative art form) is the ultimate activity to emphasize this balance of mind, presence, and harmony. Acts of Service is right in the middle as it is an action and a showcasing of selflessness, but if done inauthentically then it backfires and repels me from them rather than attracts me. And there is only so much you can do before you start neglecting yourself from constant self-sacrifice. There is also this weird feeling of, "What kind of person would want a partner who neglects their own needs and prioritizes others constantly?" I would imagine self-centered people or narcissists would gravitate towards those types as they know they won't be pressured to satisfy any of their needs while simultaneously getting what they need from the other. I don't think there are many INFJs who want to feel that way in a relationship and so the acts of service are nice every once in a while if it's authentic, but over-doing it can backfire for both the giver and receiver. Physical Touch I would make this #1 as a priority for a few reasons. With balance being so important for us, physical touch is a great way to ground us as we tend to naturally float across the cerebral 'skyscape'. If there is one thing that would probably need to be outsourced from a loving partner this would be it. Physical touch as an intention also covers every other love language under its umbrella as it expresses belief and trust (affirmation), a desire for connection (quality time), an act to please your needs (Act of Service), once you give it you can't really take it back (gift giving) and its ROI is so substantial as the way you touch can feel like art even in minimalistic doses. Maybe I have a bias as one being a tad touch starved and there is most certainly wrong ways and levels to approach physical touch. But when It is done right, irreplaceable (chef's kiss). Gift Giving, so long as the other priorities are being met, I don't think INFJs really care if we never get any gifts. We will be grateful if one comes, but asking or expecting gifts isn't something we think about unless it’s expected from others. Plus the intention behind gift giving is a showcase of prioritizing superficiality unless the gift is personal, sentimental, or helpful towards growth. Outside of these concepts, the ones you covered make sense. Curiosity, growth, and depth are extremely important. One more thing I would like to add is harmony or synergy. A musical note by itself can only be piece of a melody. As soon as you introduce another note at the same time, an entirely new palette of emotions and storytelling become available in ways that's more than just the sum of its parts. P.S. This is an important topic for me which is my shallow justification for the length of this post. I was going to make this a journal entry instead but maybe someone else can benefit from my thought. I don't expect many people to read the whole thing. If you did, thank you.

[@mongiwekhaya1201]

Just had a break up. A key aspect was me admiting to my partner that I don’t feel loved. Your critique here, feels so spot on.

[@amy-lyne]

@reyne-soundtherapy469 appreciate your depth of engagement. I can tell you've done a lot of inner work by the way you are able to separate intent, expression, and perception. I think oftentimes, INFJ is so focused on a person's positive intentions that they forget their own preferences for how they want to receive love. Glad you brought up the need for solitude and respect towards our alone time. That was something on my list I was not able to get to. I also agree that actions are more important than words. Pleasure to read 🦋

[@reyne-soundtherapy469]

@@amy-lyne When it comes to inner work... You have no idea how right you are in terms of how much effort I've been put into this. It's just a product of relentless curiosity alongside long-term isolation. it's not something worth bragging about, but I appreciate you noticing. It's difficult to garner validation when you're on a different wavelength as most others in your life. Thanks for humoring my rant.

[@07cali4nia]

Wow, great video. You had me hooked with the book analogy, but absolutely 💯 with the list of love language hierarchy… Subbed!

[@amy-lyne]

@@07cali4nia happy to resonate 🦋 thanks for watching!

[@sherman-dennis9120]

What the heck your just like me😂 I was scrolling and decided to watch. You had me with the dark humor and being able to see things from a detached perspective. It opens up so much more for a single point of insight within a whole topic, definitely surprised me to hear someone say this😊

[@stevelibby3]

After hearing this, I feel like a fellow INFJ would be ideal...

[@codreaming9304]

So do I ~ but it will be like finding a needle in a haystack 😢

[@stevelibby3]

@@codreaming9304 yes like a tiny little speck in a galaxy 😭

[@lydiagrabner1571]

find an ENFJ, they will get you. To me they are the very best fit

[@solgast]

Wonderful and in depth takes Amy. When it comes to love language I do not feel that there is a blue print based upon typing at all. More so that it can evolve and stem out of different interests beyond type itself. Looking forward to hear more deep dives!

[@Art-d4m]

Very relatable video, I would say this is what every INFJ want to tell everyone but no one cares to hear.

[@yanamclaughlin]

This is extremely accurate

[@shedragonrider]

I ask people not to give me anything, the gifts I have been given are like an obligation to do something big so I deserve it... No idea why I feel this way, am I the only one?

[@barryx23]

What a wonderfully precise set of observations. I agree with virtually all of them. Sadly, most people I meet are incapable of understanding the INFJ character. What is wonderfully quirky for us is to them something odd and to be avoided. What, they ask, is wrong with somebody who presents as we do? To many of them, we clearly have a problem. Our experience of life appears to be so distinct to that of the average person that they can't imagine what it must be like to be us - so best to avoid. I think this is down to our scarcity - there aren't many of us - and also down to the fact that, according to what I've read, the INFJ personality type is the newest of the 16 personalities and one that possibly shouldn't exist, because it is so full of contradictions. That explains why we almost all feel lonely. I don't think that's going to change any time soon, either.

[@indigomosquitospeedos]

the trouble is that we who embody mindful authenticity see through slick deceptacon's bullshit and aren't ashamed to call them out --- so they make a concerted effort to marginalize us through deliberately missinforming the captured masses about not trusting 'odder' less conventional personality types. they'll probably block this just to try to piss me off and hope i'll freak out and make myself look like a total idiot thus seemingly proving their misdirected point . oh well - i think having a great ironic cosmic senses of humor is probably our greatest attribute !

[@shyguy30313]

For me affirmation and physical touch are the most important. Sadly, they are what I receive the least if at all. My spouse is acts of service and gifts. Knowing what I know today….. Many INFJ will empathize with the struggles I’m dealing with. There are days I’m surprised we’ve made it 27 years. I was doing ok and able to push these thoughts from my mind, but your video has opened a deep wound and now I will dwell on my reality for a few weeks. Fuck!

[@shyguy30313]

Let me just say, for an INFJ who is always performing acts of service for another and receiving very little in return in the form of QT, PT and affirmation, it can be extremely taxing and emotionally draining. Even though I desire PT I have found myself now withdrawing from PT and QT because it has become so foreign and alien to me.

[@dittyman]

INFJ’s are the best!

[@eli7527]

Idk if I’m an introvert or extrovert(with a lot of fear/doubt). But you hit the nail on the head with this video. Gosh if I ever get the chance to meet someone like you😅

[@amy-lyne]

@eli7527 many of us are in the in-between of personalities haha I get it. Thanks for watching 🦋

[@rahulg8]

I feel heard. Please continue making such videos. 😁

[@DanielSingerX]

It's absolutely crazy how much I relate to everything u say. With the love languages it's exactly the same for me! especially when u said about the giving gifts and how u have a hard time giving gifts to people 😅 That's definitely what I struggle with for the same reason! And about being stagnant, YES!! I'm struggling with that stagnant feeling and I see how most people are just ok with things being the same and being the same person and are ok and I wonder if I'm broken for constantly whiting to feel this growth both in the physical world and internally.. Thank you so much for this video!!

[@amy-lyne]

Hahaha glad you agree about the gifts. I was unsure if I was going to include that tidbit of thoughts because everyone is different. Happy to see you back here 🦋

[@AmandaExpanded2514]

This is so accurate!

[@Clevelandsteamer324]

17:22 covert contract

[@sunflowerpower642]

Great videos, ENFJ F here. In what ways is an INFJ victim to their own cognitive dissonance ? I’m trying to see something here. And this time, I’ll say it bluntly and more courageously than how I feel the INFJ testing process is that my question to you is in fact a test.

[@amy-lyne]

@sunflowerpower642 haha great question, I accept the test. These are some common areas for cognitive dissonance among INFJ (including myself): - Authenticity vs Social Expectations. We like authenticity but rarely give it to others since we conform often as natural harmonizers in a group. - Idealism vs Reality. We easily project our own fantasies onto others without actually getting to know them, which can give us questionable "intuition." - Personal Integrity vs. Compromise. We sometimes overlook when we are compromising our own values even though "Values" are so important to us. Those are a few. Personally, I think Shadow Work is a great way to reconcile the opposites within. May do a video on this sometime

[@sunflowerpower642]

@@amy-lyne thanks for sharing. I just mentioned to highlight the incongruence in what INFJ expects of others patricularly so that INFJ can be more of themselves with that person, a bit of a covert contract. Show me yours and I’ll show you mine. INFJ can stand to trial the courage of themselves for themselves without relying on others. Asking others to do what you cannot is risky.

[@amy-lyne]

@sunflowerpower642 Yes, it's important in the INFJ's path of personal progress to become more expressive without the need for acceptance. I don't necessarily believe this core weakness is an inner blind spot. I see it as a shortcoming their loved ones can help out with. Sometimes, it's okay to ask others for help in areas we struggle with ourselves. Appreciate the thoughtful comment 🦋

[@nahoooli]

Omg this me. Also an INFJ. I remember many types zoning out thinking in public and someone asks me if Im okay😂

[@MysticTreeStone]

Words of affirmation is great since its a way for me to know I've been understood and appreciated, I do have a impersonations like personality within me mimicing characters fantasy or not, I'd explain my experience in a story not as facts kinda like tigger from winnie the phooh bear. I'm complex yet still laid back to be simple, not all people r interested in deep universal conversation even though I am and if I sense lack of interest I'll match the pace of the room. Spending time with someone opens up the book to read all the pages of oneself my ups and downs my lights and dark sides and genuine complements strengthen bonds like nice gaming since I'm a gamer and love sports and many activities or hobbies like painting and photography like my pops did back in the 90's, riding bikes, fishing, go karts so many ways to pass the time and enjoy anothers presence. Lending a helping hand and lifting others up is a virtue along with patience and kindness, for some it's a choice, for me its in my soul my dna to be generous and humble with thick skin which is very so a kinesthetics attribute being INFJ sensitive the skin and hands on even sound vibrations are very emotionally moving to me, contact is my greatest way to communicate my emotions where words may not always convey like romance is easier done then said, especially public display of affection I'd get blushed real quick if others see me being affectionate. Im not materialistic so just a bday card or Christmas card is enough for me and I too have no idea how to pick gifts, I just ask what do you want mostly. Will I ever meet someone thats literally a spitting image of myself inside out kinda of twin flame like.

[@420yoloswagy]

You're absolutely beautiful

[@Clevelandsteamer324]

No simp zone

[@R.CHIZ.Gaming]

I have so much to say, but I want to respect your creative space here on KZbin! How can we connect Amy?🫠 My heart is open!

[@cavemanrob]

Thirsty, much?

[@Sam_ytube]

@@cavemanrobwho can blame him

[@DashiPrime83]

Awesome Vid.

[@amy-lyne]

@DashiPrime83 thank you 🦋

[@burnoutrelief1850]

I think this is true but painful because as I’ve gotten older I just don’t like thinking of myself as a deep person. I used to think of myself that way but it also pulls me apart from others. I have lots of thoughts, I think it’s exhausting, I love it when ppl will explore the books and cranies of what I’m thinking about. I don’t know how others think and I want to not have to overthink everything or get so bored so easily

[@burnoutrelief1850]

I think I’m not wise just have a lot of thoughts it just goes in circles like I notice it in ppl like Jordan Peterson

[@burnoutrelief1850]

I don’t meet people often. I feel I can really be myself with. I think it can become burdensome for the wrong person so I want to keep things simple

[@amy-lyne]

@burnoutrelief1850 INFJs often have a more difficult time finding true connections in this world, but it's worth it not to give up on hope 🦋. They're out there. I also understand not knowing if you're "deep" or just ruminating. I think INFJ can get caught up in both. I consider the healthier version of "deep thinking" to be more of a contemplative meditation on things I want a deeper understanding of, like love, connection, and all these topics that interest us.

[@Art-d4m]

Hey, I just watched most of your videos and it's kind of scary how some people can be the same side of one coin. On my rabbit hole journey to self understanding I got to my astrological natal chart, which surprisingly is so precise at least in my understanding. Have you tried looking in that direction?

[@amy-lyne]

@Art-d4m Yes, I have. There's a variety of resonance-based self-discovery tools that have crossed my pathway. Each one has a unique spin, which is cool to integrate

[@Art-d4m]

@@amy-lyne any chance for you to share some of those self-discovery tools? And what you think about your natal chart, how relatable is it for you?

[@amy-lyne]

@Art-d4m Yes, another impactful tool (especially for creatives) might be to study the archetypes. I gravitated to tools that had more of a psychology backing. Others enjoy things like tarot and enneagram, although I did not study those much. I prefer a more academic focus to self-awareness.

[@Art-d4m]

@@amy-lyne I guess my next destination stop is the archetypes :)) So far my route have been: MBTI -> cognitive functions -> enneagram -> astrology. I also like stuff that has some kind of science behind it since I am a very logical person but recently I was uncovering lots of personality characteristics from my subconscious mind that were a whole lot different from regular INFJs. Then on my quest for answers I bumped into astrology and surprisingly it had answers for those questions, I mean for all of them and I was like "How?". Then I thought that logic/science is great to explain a physical tangible world but in reality everything in the universe is created from energy, we can't see it but some of us can sense it, for example I don't think that science can really explain how do we absorb other people's energies, I mean science do not even believe in mbti because human mind is not something physical to explore and measure. So I had to change my perspective from logic (physical world) to intuition (spiritual/energetical world) where science has no power there because spiritual world in my opinion is only accessible through our intuition. After this astrology made a lot more sense because it talks about how different energies (planets) that surround us effected us at the time of our birth and still effecting us now. I feel like integrating all of this understanding kind of pushed me to the next level of understanding myself and everything around me in general. I wish I had someone like you in my life to push boundaries of our minds but unfortunately we are rare and worst of all we are lone wolves.

[@amy-lyne]

​@@Art-d4m You might enjoy "Soul Centered Astrology" by Alan Oken 📚. I read that one a year or so ago. Another good one is King, Lover, Magician, Warrior (if you haven't read it already since it's fairly popular). Those are the top books in my head right now. Appreciate your words 🦋 I'm sure many will resonate

[@riznooo]

Yes. I prefer a single long term relationships. Dont care about stuff money other then being content with my basic needs met. i have a problem were if my partner wont meet me half way and i feel lost. I do acts of service out of love. Many small thing to me are more important. Then big grand jesters if they feel hollow to me there meaningless. I m a hopeless romantic. I dont need a partner. But when i do i put them first and hope they will put me first. There are certian things were if i have 2 bring it up. If they changed only cause i pointed it out....at that point i feel like it wont matter cause i want them to treat me that way cause it's loveing and right. But if i do bring it up and they wont make a effort.I feel like its a red line that cant be crossed. its Hard 2 explain. Truth above all else. I m very realistic and dont have impossible expectations. U cant force people 2 love u the way u want. U have 2 meet them half way. Its a struggle to find balance within my self. Overthinking my overthinking. But i do love being a INFJ.

[@superlazyguy00]

Hi, are you afraid you'll never find someone who sees, understands, and connects deeply with you? I feel like my options are to be alone or choose someone who makes me feel lonely because they don't get me even though I believe (I never know for sure) I can understand them. Within five minutes of meeting someone I know whether there is attraction/chemistry, then as I talk and get to know them it either grows stronger or I realize we don't click at all. I find the first part rare enough, but the second part even rarer. Do you have any advice on where and how to find more compatible people?

[@amy-lyne]

@superlazyguy00 Ah, the five minute "intuitive" gut knowing about a person's potential can be quite fascinating and frustrating, can't it? 🙂 I love this question. I do have some advice and may do a video on it down the road. I have found deep connections in a few ways: 1. Following my soul and doing the things that light me up (those people show up on the way)/2. Putting myself out there and networking a lot (the worst for introverts, but unfortunately, it's necessary if you're rare)/3. Dumb luck and chance encounters/4. Some genuinely grow with time. It's all rare indeed, but it's worth not giving up 🦋. Hope this helps

[@superlazyguy00]

@@amy-lyne That's really helpful, #2 is what I needed to hear, thank you!

[@MysticTreeStone]

I always figured nature would nurture the path I'm destined to walk upon I've met many and had strong bonds with very few, was it their lack of loyalty, I can't be in two places at the same time so I've had to walk on when someone seemed like my fate till their choice is revealed by action the sound of a falling tree echo its last breath to be the essence in the circle of life, truly love conquers all as rare I am.

[@sherman-dennis9120]

18:30 this 100% hands down the most desirable thing for me, and then touch😂

[@101AGAMES]

why the hell do I feel like I'm having my mind read , all of a sudden I feel naked ; my thoughts , well , one of the main things we need to do is learn how to just be present , I know thinking is one of our superpowers but sometimes it's best to just turn it off

[@sinang9013]

Yo....two videos in such a short period of time. Where´s the real Amy, what have you done with her?!?!

[@amy-lyne]

@@sinang9013 😂 I tried to get one out this week before my perfectionism could get the best of me. This topic was fun to think about

[@th1nk.OUTLOUD]

“ Wanted by Many, Appreciated by Most; Understood by only Few” - this is the life of the INFJ I think often; I thought I was an INTJ or something else 🧠💡 Do you think that understanding and meeting someone else’s love language helps to increase showing/ receiving love? 🤔💡 My preferred love languages are different than yours. 💡 I would love to have a coffee with you ☕️

[@amy-lyne]

@th1nk.OUTLOUD I think a discussion of the love languages can help if a person has a strong preference for one over the others. In this video, I listed them in terms of how they are found online. Not necessarily by rank of an INFJ's/my own preference. I don't have much of a strong order for them myself. They were just helpful discussion points.

[@VolodymyrSkrypnyk-m5p]

How beautiful you are :)

[@Clevelandsteamer324]

Stop simpin

[@jaykay-_-ok]

TLDR: INFJs crave deep emotional connections and feel most loved and understood when others take a genuine interest in understanding their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. 1. 00:00 💕 INFJs feel loved when their partner makes an effort to understand and connect with their inner world through genuine curiosity and deep conversations. 1.1 INFJs feel loved when people make an effort to understand and connect with their inner world. 1.2 INFJs are often misunderstood as being quiet or mysterious due to their tendency to think deeply and intensely, which can lead to a disconnected appearance. 1.3 INFJs feel loved when their partner is genuinely curious about their thoughts, approaches them with an open-minded and exploratory mindset, and engages in philosophical conversations that delve into the underlying layers of ideas. 2. 04:05 💕 INFJs feel loved when their partner takes a genuine interest in understanding their complex thoughts, values, and past experiences. 2.1 INFJs feel loved when their partner takes an interest in understanding their past experiences and the reasons behind their thoughts and behaviors. 2.2 INFJs feel loved when others treat them as a puzzle to be understood, seeking to comprehend their complex and intuitive minds. 2.3 INFJs feel loved when their partner explores and understands their complex thoughts and values, and approaches relationships with depth and emotional attunement. 3. 06:59 💬 INFJs need relationships with a balance of intellectual depth, emotional connection, and open communication to feel loved. 3.1 INFJs tend to shut down in relationships if they sense their partner lacks the capacity for deep, complex conversations, reverting to simpler interactions if their need for intellectual depth isn't met. 3.2 INFJs value a balance of deep and light conversations, enjoying humor, playfulness, and intellectual discussions that are emotionally engaging. 3.3 INFJs value relationships with a balance of intelligent and emotional connection, where they can discuss any topic, including taboo or personal ones, in an objective and empathetic way. 4. 10:04 💕 INFJs need honesty, authenticity, and acceptance in relationships to feel loved and open up. 4.1 INFJs need honesty, authenticity, and deep understanding in relationships, valuing unfiltered communication and self-awareness, and will likely pinpoint trouble spots with accuracy if listened to. 4.2 INFJs need acceptance of their quirky behaviors to feel loved and open up, as they value authenticity over attempts to impress with virtuous or altruistic acts. 5. 12:48 ❤ INFJs need honesty, authenticity, and meaningful words of affirmation in relationships to feel loved. 5.1 INFJs value honesty and authenticity in relationships, preferring partners who acknowledge and manage their flaws and shadowy aspects while still being oriented towards positive values like kindness and goodness. 5.2 INFJs value words of affirmation, particularly meaningful and observant comments, over physical compliments, and prefer deep, poetic expressions that acknowledge their unique experiences and emotions. 6. 15:12 ❤ INFJs feel loved through quiet dates, creative activities, acts of service, and physical touch, but struggle with materialistic expressions like gift-giving. 6.1 INFJs value quiet, low-key dates, sharing creative activities, and acts of service that demonstrate character and self-sacrifice in their relationships. 6.2 INFJs value physical touch as a way to feel loved and connected, as it helps ground them in the present moment and balances their tendency to be overly introspective. 6.3 INFJs may struggle with gift-giving as a way to show love due to its materialistic nature and the difficulty of knowing what the other person wants. 7. 18:26 💕 INFJs need partners who share their desire for growth, can handle deep emotions, and embody their words to create a deepening and evolving relationship. 7.1 INFJs need partners and friends who share their desire for growth, can handle deep emotional experiences, and embody their words, allowing for a deepening and evolving relationship. 7.2 INFJs need partners who can reconcile their inconsistencies, challenge them in a healthy way, and help them grow. 8. 20:46 💬 The creator invites viewers to share their thoughts on how they like to be loved and what's important in their relationships in the comments.

[@amy-lyne]

😂 you missed the intro where I said INFJ's are analogous to a "good book" (they typically don't think anything is TLDR). This comment is the antithesis to "loving an INFJ" 😂. Regardless, I'll take it 🫡 thanks for the timestamps AI

[@agent_exodus]

Do you have trouble asking people questions about themselves or if you are curious? I do… I want to know but… idk how to go about that. I’ll take a tip from what you said, is there anything you’re reading right now of any particular interest? And if so, is there anything standing out to you the most about it? Any particular dynamics between characters, character arcs, ethical dilemmas… etc of particular significance to you?

[@amy-lyne]

@agent_exodus yeah, I think it can take awhile for many INFJ to open up to people. I typically ask questions in a relaxed way. Lately, I've been reading The Brothers Karamazov since I haven't read much Dostoevsky 👍 it's a good thought-provoking book.

[@agent_exodus]

@@amy-lynethat makes sense. I don’t think I am actually an INFJ but have a lot in common with what you and a couple others I know of have talked about. Myers Briggs said ENFJ for me. So when I do ask questions … it’s probably a lot 🙃 If I have a spirit animal, it’s probably a schizotypal octopus 🙃 That makes sense with context. Theres a movie called “my octopus teacher” it’s really moving and they are pretty incredible creatures. As alien as they may seem… after seeing that and finding out more about them, it’s remarkable how relatable they are. They’re solitary but can bond with people. And what that movie shows is beneath the surface… we have this enigmatic… potentially bioluminescent creature (some of them). Vulnerable, sensitive, yet highly intelligent. According to the evolutionary story, the octopus once had a shell… and for whatever reason… fate decreed it to embrace its vulnerability and become something of an enigma. In many ways that’s like… the soul or psyche of humanity to me as some of us are and or have been undergoing a similar process. Symbolically… It’s complicated. And I’ve driven just as many people away after getting close. Never know.

[@amy-lyne]

@agent_exodus haha I loved watching My Octopus Teacher. It's great to see how everything is connected 💛

[@agent_exodus]

@@amy-lyne somehow… some way. “Life, uhhh…, finds a way” -Jeff Goldblum 🙃 (Regarding how everything is connected)

[@dakotawinston7677]

I love your reaction here at 17:56 😂 like “yeah it’s bullshit” hahaha….I’m terrible at giving gifts

[@Sam_ytube]

18:37 Put your heart on a platter and see who’ll bite. See who’ll hold you and kiss you good night

[@royeramos7627]

iNFJ 👉 *iN For Jesus* 😇 is the CÜRE

[@brianhales1416]

I'm the talk of gossip amongst my coworkers rather asking me they prefer making assumptions and passing it off for sound judgments When I've opened up I'm met by a look of uninterested, but let's just humor him out of general politeness. They would rather discuss surface level topics and gossip rather than important issues. Would be a pleasant surprise if someday I was approached by someone with genuine interest. Thus far, it's been narcissists with tempts to gain leverage and exploit me. On the bright side, I've become adept in spot lighting them and dismantling their efforts. But I digress. This is a topic of love more than just some random word that sadly is loosely strewn out these days as not often meant with respect due as love is a powerful word likewise hate. Neither should be expressed lightly. The word crazy" follows me around a lot

[@sherman-dennis9120]

Dude, same with me😂 just means they know who you are and are jealous because they dont like how they compare to you

[@Clevelandsteamer324]

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

[@markpaladiy5748]

Love and empathy in autism: kzbin.info/www/bejne/r3rEon53Yrmjmc0 (I'm autistic, so is my sister, and she seems to be VERY INFJ.)

[@amy-lyne]

@@markpaladiy5748 Yes, I've heard several traits of INFJ overlap with autism

[@markpaladiy5748]

@@amy-lyne On the word 'overlaps'. I don't know what you mean, exactly, by that. But, it really strikes me that many can assume it properly defines the nature of what I assume is much more complex reality. I think of 'autism' and 'non-autism' not as not a hard line. Diagnosis methods take an actual human being and shove him into a kind of formal mold: this person 'is autistic', and that person is 'not autistic'. I think that the human condition itself is the actual spectrum. I was diagnosed autistic not directly because of differences, as such, in my psychology from that of the average person. Rather, the diagnosis, of me, as 'autistic' was because of how the difference between me and my external realities has prevented me from being able to live a life according to the basic human biological-and-psychological imperatives. Accordingly, my sister is as autistic as am I, if not more so. In fact, your way of talking in your videos reminds me of her. You really seem to me to be just like her in almost every way.

[@NeoNordstom]

What's your age?

[@lynchfinn5738]

Should an infj date another infj?

[@amy-lyne]

@lynchfinn5738 yes, I think it's a good match along with several other personality types

[@lynchfinn5738]

@amy-lyne listening to your video, I found myself feeling guilty that it "would be asking too much." But getting a deep sense of how home should be, seeing a great value of being understood. I have always wondered if similar individuals could have strong communication through eye contact. And even though we have never met, I sense you closer than people in my daily environment. Thank you for sharing🤍

[@winfriedmaus]

I spent the last 20 years with an INFJ. Our marriage failed and we separated last year, but we managed to save our deep friendship and we still have an indestructible bond, even though we're no longer a romantic couple. So, yes, by all means, if you find another INFJ you will always have someone in your life who understands you and cares for you.

[@lynchfinn5738]

@winfriedmaus thank you for the insight. I can see a potential for " inner thought" to become an issue or even a problem in a romantic relationship. My question: Are you @winfriendmaus also an infj, assuming from your reply to my question. But it is always good to ask.

[@amy-lyne]

@lynchfinn5738 My best friend in college was an INFJ, and we were so similar with our mutual hobbies: photography, writing, and other creative activities. We did "think" a lot together as well. Other great pairing for INFJ are INTP, ENFP, ENTP, INFP, ENFJ, and INTJ. Although, I personally believe any personality type pairing can work. Some balance you by getting you out more, some provide a stable ground, etc. Those are just examples from my personal life.

[@Joanna.Swiderska333]

What is INFJ???

[@amy-lyne]

Meyer Briggs. It's one of the 16 personalities. Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Judging

[@muma6559]

they can't understand.... how can a Sensor understand ? They can't. They don't have enough intuitive wiring

[@amy-lyne]

@muma6559 my mom is an ISFJ and she's one of the best people who loves me haha a sensor who loves good books 📚 💕

[@muma6559]

@@amy-lyne yes, ISFJ are very sweet and can be very good mums. Especially if they are healthy. I shouldn't sweep them all, but it seems most sensors can't go far into intuition and that's 75% of the population

[@MysticTreeStone]

Im not just INFJ im a pisces and tiger zodiac astronomically some stars and planets even the matter that which they are made from is as rare as me even more rare than gold, most people are materialistic and I'm just a rock to be forged into a tool no empathy till they can't understand what I'm made of and give up I recently saw a anime which captured such emotion on Netflix called "Blue Eye Samurai" the blacksmith says some moving comments about forging rocks/metal into tools, does nature have a fate to forge me into something yet unseen unknown preparing me for the future, silly and creative thinking like Looney tunes was always a part of me finding balance with chaotic and tranqual coexistence I came across sacred geometry math twin flames reincarnation and so much more and it's annoying that my mom thinks she can read my mind as if their habits, knowing habits isnt knowing a person's thoughts, I haven't met anyone that wants to know me inside out and most are too intimidated or overwhelmed due to the fact I'm capable of having talks about anything depending on my mood which is part chaos and tranquility chaotic taboo topic with calm intent vice versa, most of your points are spot on not many are direct with me and can truly understand me maybe they just choose to be that way others have built decent bonds though most have moved on as if I don't exist so I figured by now I'd be settling down oddly most ladys just look even couples lol being hard to read like a black hole is my normal for far to long, could just accept the fact you see me at all.

[@atabeta2333]

Another stupid label and abbreviation

[@amy-lyne]

@atabeta2333 Appreciate you taking the time to comment. I understand that some labels and abbreviations can feel overused or unnecessary to some people. They’re just tools to help us communicate complex ideas more easily. Something as complex as identity and cognitive awareness requires these distinctions. Hope this helps 🦋

[@ralphjrcrayton2001]

I see thru every emotion and thought process, we all just wanna be loved and cared for to be honest and I’m here to spread love, kindness and protection to all women, in all aspects of life 💯 🩷