INFJs: Why I Choose a "Boring" Life

[@rebeccaoliver5306]

It's so nice knowing there is another person in the world, at home, reading a book, drinking coffee, having a quiet day, and loving it. Fist bump, kindred soul.

[@4give5ess]

Same 👊

[@INFJcircle]

👊 :) Jay

[@BryanChance]

Oh yes, the INFJ life. I've learn to love it. Learning new things..all the time..anything and everything.

[@nobodi817]

Now that I am older, I understand why I rarely ever meet other INFJ's is because we all like to be in our rooms doing something alone.

[@Coryraisa]

Yep, me also. Today in fact, I'm vegging out at home in solitude, having hot tea and reading. In a little while, I'll make a nice quiet dinner and watch a film.

[@vestanorman176]

I’m an INFJ. I love routine. I 😊love being home! Wears me out shop, travel, socializing. I love being alone.

[@INFJcircle]

I'm with you! Jay

[@BOG0690]

Me too. Also, I have virtually everything I need at home. Going out only makes sense if I need something and I do not at this moment.

[@lifenotbills]

@@INFJcircle Hi, Jay. New subscriber, love what you’re doing. I have a question for you,…is routine really a common INFJ thing? Historically, I have often been spontaneous and move forward without plans, although I do that on my terms and generally alone. Like a multiple state road trip, alone, with no specific plans other than needing to get to a certain city eventually. My days aren’t really planned out, though I may have simple consistencies…like a coffee ritual. I am most certainly an INFJ. Fit the description like 95%. And test the same over many years. I wonder if the differences I experience are circumstantial or due to the unpredictability of my childhood. I hadn’t ever read that INFJ’s like routine, though in trying to understand some of my traits, I’ve been considering that I’m undiagnosed autism spectrum. That routine piece isn’t me though. The topic might be an interesting conversation or video.

[@cynthiajohnson9412]

I got a good INFJ story for you'll. For my fiftieth birthday I bought myself a trip to Italy. I went by myself but with a tour group (which was great for an INFJ). Anyway, on the flight over I ended up sitting next to an eighty-five year old man who had taken nearly his entire family to Italy with this tour. Anyway he had three grown daughters about my age who had come with their partners and their kids. They had twelve people in their family which was about half of the total number of people in the tour group. So anyway, this family was very kind and they sort of adopted me as a member and I got to dine with them and breakfast with them and tour with them. Anyway, one day we were out near the Spanish steps in Rome and the father had gotten tired and wanted to go back to the hotel. His daughters all wanted to stay out and shop. So I, being a tired INFJ, said I'll accompany him back to the hotel. I assured the daughters that I'd take care of him. Our tour guide said to me, 'oh you take really good care of your father,' and I replied, 'oh he's not my father, I just met him on the plane the day before yesterday'. Only an INFJ would probably get that. Anyway, going on tours, but by yourself, is a really good way to travel for an INFJ. I loved being in my room in the hotel by myself after a hectic day of touring. I like not having anyone pulling or pushing me to do stuff that I was too tired or frazzled to enjoy. Traveling alone has draw backs, but we social chameleons can adapt and blend into any group. Here's another INFJ story that happened on that trip, I think INFJs will appreciate. There was this one crusty woman who was a real type-A personality who was always complaining and she was not well liked in the group for obvious reasons. She had money and had paid to bring her gay nephew along as a companion. Anyway, she had an air of moneyed entitlement that turned people off, so the rest of the group kind of steered clear of her. Anyway, at one point in our tour we were at some ruins and the whole groups was going down a steep set of steps and she was just ahead of me on the climb down. And she lost her footing and started to slip, and she was a big woman, and I just instinctively reached out and grabbed her arm to keep her from falling, and she gave me a really startled, strange look, like she was really surprised anyone would do that. And again, without thinking I just blurted out, 'oh _we_ would never let you fall,' as if I had the authority to speak for the group. Anyway after that she was a very different person on the tour, she totally became part of the group and was even a bit of the life of the party. I think people like that put on armor to protect themselves from rejection and once she felt like part of the group she relaxed and joined the party. Anyway, I just wanted to share that with the INFJ community, cause probably only an INFJ would understand that desire to create group cohesion and pull everyone in and make them all feel like an important part of a whole.

[@Ang-sj6df]

Thank you sharing your stories.

[@xxAmyliaxx1xx]

made me smile also,Thank you for sharing ☺@@Ang-sj6df

[@xxAmyliaxx1xx]

made me smile also,Thank you for sharing ☺

[@INFJcircle]

Excellent stories. You created harmony, even abroad. Thanks for sharing! Jay

[@PaXeGo]

so i did really like the story .Anyway, my cheeks hurting now because i had laugh so much while reading it . xD

[@amyinalabama7529]

While others were crying, complaining, and going crazy when the lockdowns were mandated, I was dancing with joy. It became the most energetic time of my life. Freedom to sew, draw, paint, etc. I had time to improve both my woodworking and leathercraft skills and begin to teach myself silversmithing. All with the added bonus of no visits from family and friends. What glorious days those were!

[@INFJcircle]

I hear you. Jay

[@skindippedingold]

Me too! I loved the time alone! Just reading, watching KZbin and going to the park with my dog

[@1233-h1]

Amen. I loved it. Peace and quiet. Reading, writing, meditation. A lot of going out habits gone. I used to go Starbucks everyday and most days gym and then stop off some where or get on the phone with distraction. The pandemic shut it all down but it brought me back to SELF. I have never got back into all that but am happy. As a matter of fact the first of the year I quit my gym because it's too much work to get there, change, workout, shower, change back and then get back home. Also inevitably the sociables want to pull me into activities. I just want to workout. I do yoga and lift weights at home in peace. One thing I'm getting back is travel. Because it teaches new things and I love museums, galleries and languages etc. Just came back from a month in u.k. and Ireland. Now back home and boredom. Haven't left the apartment in 3 days. Love it!!! Btw. I am INTJ

[@thenursepreceptor5376]

I was socially distancing a long time before it was mainstream!😂

[@DoofenSpyroDragon16]

I’m a bit of an ambivert so I was a bit mixed on the lockdown. At first I enjoyed it, but after 2 years of social isolation I became very depressed. I need to have some sort of balance. I don’t need a lot of people but I was really missing my best friend. Now I see her more often and still get my alone time to create music and binge KZbin and Phineas and Ferb, or play Spyro, and honestly that’s my happy place. 😄

[@carolinebrown8965]

I'm "boring" by the world's standards but don't care. I can't stand the hyperactive drama that others thrive on !

[@INFJcircle]

I'm with you. Jay

[@DeeDeex007o]

YES!

[@GoWithDaFlowMo]

Yesssss..... 😊

[@edennis8578]

Ikr? Self-created drama doesn't attract me. My sister is a master of manufactured drama. I don't get it. I opted out of it. Example: she's been married 5 times. None of these guys were abusive. She just wants what she wants and that's it. Her way or the highway. Marriage isn't like that. Another example: she received an inheritance and blew it all. She divorces a husband and just walks away with nothing. Her 4th husband made a lot of money, but she left him for a life in a dump until she got with husband #5. No, thanks. Give me peace and quiet.

[@Coryraisa]

Me either!

[@donnellallan]

I love my boring life! The only downside is trying to respond to grocery clerks who cheerily ask me, “what do you have planned for the rest of the day?” Uhhh. Read?

[@INFJcircle]

Yeah, it's tough to come up with a "satisfactory" answer for the people out there. haha. Jay

[@cc1k435]

My answer is, "Nothing, I hope." 😂

[@andreahugentobler1510]

Yeah same with "what are your plans for the weekend"😅.... uhhh watch my favourite show for like 4hours, cleaning, sleeping, drink coffee😂

[@tannisjohnson6456]

Lol, same. "Um, not much"

[@trishbauer8966]

I respond with, “I am just going to relax. Have some me time.” That works for me every time because everyone knows how it feels to want to relax and just stop for a bit.

[@faithworks217]

An elementary school teacher gave her class of 9-year-olds an assignment to write what their life will be like when they are 100 years old. I think at least one of the kids is an INFJ. This is what Emma Knight wrote: When I am 100 years old, I will be tired of everything + everyone. So I will tell everyone I'm going to Canada but actualally go to the Bahamas. I will live in a tiny hut with my tiny dog. I will order fish tacos when I am hungery, + live my best life with no crap.

[@Mday31]

I litterally wrote a waitress or singer. I was 9 too. Lol

[@ComplicatedSimplicite]

From someone who can spend 4 hours in bed every morning sipping her coffee and reading, I totally get this.

[@nancyrouquie5403]

And I thought I was alone in this guilty? pleasure!! Sip on, friend . . . 😊

[@cc1k435]

Only 4? 😂😉

[@INFJcircle]

I get it. I get it! Jay

[@ComplicatedSimplicite]

@@nancyrouquie5403 ☕️🛌 Cheers!

[@ComplicatedSimplicite]

@@cc1k435 😂

[@nathanielcarreon5634]

They called me "Chairman of the Bored" and I loved it.

[@INFJcircle]

LOL! Love it! Jay

[@riyajacob2909]

Oops

[@37equals37]

That’s from Norm MacDonald on Conan O’brian.

[@lisalambrecht6676]

Makes a good slogan for a shirt 😊

[@bargainbassist]

"I'm the chairman of the bored. Just another slimy bore." -Iggy Pop, 1979

[@thechaostrials1964]

I 100% agree. I'm lonely. But, I'm not bored. I love my simple routine, my neighborhood stores. It took 59 years to get here. I write, read, cook, take care of my pets, watch movies, my morning coffee and walks along the bike path. I live just one day at a time, trying to stay in the moment. It works for me. I love your channel. Thanks.

[@INFJcircle]

Sounds like you have it down. That’s what it’s about. I’m embracing it. Jay

[@catherinelawson9074]

When I retired from a very demanding career I was very surprised by how often I was asked, "How do you keep busy?" As an INFJ I thought the whole point of being retired was to design my life the way I wanted it. The first thing I did was read all the novels of Charles Dickens. I have myriad interests and am content with very occasional trips and social gatherings. It works for me, but I can keenly feel the disapproval of others.

[@nanetten6238]

Stay true to who you are. There are many of us who understand and share your sentiments.

[@INFJcircle]

I understand. Reading Dickens is a good way to spend time. We must tune out the naysayers, but it's difficult for us as INFJs. Stay strong! Jay

[@donnellallan]

I read all of Dickens, too! I read them and re-read them. I am reading Anthony Trollope’s Barchester Tower series now. It’s delightful!

[@Coryraisa]

I'm retired also and I love it. Occasionally, people asked me, _Won't you get bored?_ And I'm able to tell them no because I actually find more to do now that I'm retired. I love reading, having tea, watching films, getting together occasionally with a close friend and sleeping in. I rarely, if ever, get bored.

[@violetsinspring5863]

There’s no ones company I enjoy more than my own😂

[@alexadellastella5247]

Why is depth categorised as boring in this society? This is where the problem lies, global lack of introspection....

[@INFJcircle]

Agree. Jay

[@deanpapadopoulos3314]

You make an incredibly important point. And yet we read quotes that are comprised of depth.

[@blazedell7561]

You are definitely on to something…Fear is the reason

[@willd6215]

​@blazedell7561 very true. Introspection can unlock a whole world of repressed stuff that once uncovered needs to be confronted and its hard. Most people are unaware that it's even possible to heal

[@borntoclimb7116]

Problem is to much boring moments or to less/ to much hektik, both is toxic, the best is a mix of some adventures and enought time for relax/ some boring quiet hours. As a thrill seaker i love both, going to climbing trips, going lattice climbing/ urbex and enjoy days of Just in the nature without any Smartphones or another Item. Without hectic and presure.

[@spmoran4703]

I dont think I am boring . Just quiet . I dont care what others think of me . I am happy with my simple life.

[@INFJcircle]

Best way to be. Jay

[@spmoran4703]

@@INFJcircle Truly

[@obiblooze5902]

Yes, don't need the drama

[@spmoran4703]

@@obiblooze5902 The drama is not very good for the health

[@jenniferlai244]

INFJs enjoy the simple things in life and find peace in that

[@imnoel8214]

Beautiful words, Jay! I can relate. My home is my safe place, surrounded by art, music, books, soft fuzzy places to curl up, and nice cats. Not to mention no line at the bathroom, and VIP access to the kitchen.

[@INFJcircle]

Sounds great! Your home sounds amazing. It's our castle for sure. Jay

[@luuzievart1234]

I’m an INFJ and I tend to go from both extremes, liking to go out and have a fun day out with friends/ travel but then I can get in this phase where I can go months without seeing anyone and I am fully content being alone. During covid my mom was restless and freaking out about being in the house while it was the best year I had.

[@DarkMusician4268]

Yes! Almost an all or nothing type. When I party, I party. But I'll go months just being inside watching videos, crocheting, singing, anything that's boring and low key lol

[@naomipasswaters577]

I am floating right now! I've never heard another person say exactly what I have always felt. After reading the other comments I don't feel like a complete outcast for the first time in my life. I wish I could meet you and some of the others like us.

[@catherinemersereau239]

Count your blessings that you found out your an INFJ when your young. I did not find out till I was in my early 60's.

[@INFJcircle]

So true, the sooner you can know, the better. But, at the same time, it's great you found out! Jay

[@annmowatt7547]

I was in my late 60s and till then I despaired about being so different. It is so wonderful to know that I am an INFJ and that I am not alone.

[@frodoggbooboo]

Never too late to embrace yourself

[@edithlabaten8446]

True, and if I've only known it earlier . I'd suffered actually being different from others 'til I've learned about INFJ

[@Helen-nv8el]

Me too.. I'm 82 and have struggled with feeling "different" my whole life.I avoid the social situations and false hilarity and seek depth and meaning in my friendships. If only I understood this as a child how much happier my life may have been. Thank you for what you do.

[@zenwolf1046]

An infj can elevate the boring to the sublime 😊

[@INFJcircle]

Exactly. We are able to have joy with minimal requirements. Jay

[@deanpapadopoulos3314]

‘…can see the sublime where others can’t see anything in the most simple.’

[@JohnBrown-us9sp]

I'm bored with what others are interested in and I know they are bored with what I'm interested in.

[@Ginascottage]

I would also like to say that your INFJ channel seems so much more real than a lot of the others. They all seem to be about telling us to lead these epic lives but with an INFJ twist. But it’s still the same system. Your message is so much more down to earth. I like it a LOT more.

[@INFJcircle]

I'm glad. Thanks for saying that. I believe we can live a great life, but at the same time - we are different than most other types. We have to embrace our INFJness and stand up for ourselves and what we like. Boundaries are so important for us! Thanks for watching! Jay

[@deanpapadopoulos3314]

This is a great comment. You’re so right. I felt this too but the words were not there. He speaks exactly like I would. I gain comfort from the fact that he’s not acting like he’s describing this just-found hyroglyphics table from 3,000 BC.

[@moltenvanilla]

​@@INFJcircleagreeeee❤

[@ProgressiveDemLib]

I don’t think of my quiet drama free life as boring at all. It’s fulfilling in every way. I too spent a lot of time years ago trying to do the things other people love. It felt exhausting. So I fully embrace how I live and if others don’t understand , that’s not my concern. Books and felines, research and writing is my idea of a good life and never a waste of time. ❤

[@INFJcircle]

Sounds great to me. I love my books and relaxing time at home and wouldn’t trade it for anything. Thanks for watching! Jay

[@nmefdappl]

Absolutely IT! ❤

[@sofiaoltremare6232]

Siblings!!❤😻

[@realfeelings40]

Your video's are so informative and help me more than you can imagine. I am "different " I have always known that. But finally at 63 years old I am starting to embrace who I am. Thank you so much. ❤

[@sweetdreams3119]

Yup, simplicity, honesty and authenticity are what matter most in my world. I hope young INFJs realize a lot earlier than I did that it's wonderful being this way. Love your videos and how you keep it real! Happy New Year!

[@INFJcircle]

Completely agree. We need to be authentic and do what gives us joy! Jay

[@Redford1-g2t]

me too

[@UPalooza]

I know countless people who have to be a the right restaurants, in the coolest city and visit the best destinations. Those people are dull to me.

[@nanabee3518]

Omg. You have described my life. And people think I have a boring life. I am content staying home by myself.

[@sunset9729]

Agreed. I've seen more things in life by 25 than most would see in a lifetime. Yet, there's no place like home where it is so quiet your ears ring .

[@INFJcircle]

yeah, that’s something to think about. Us INFJs have typically done quite a lot in our lifetime. But there is no place like home. It’s literally a refuge for us! Jay

[@DeeDeex007o]

AMEN!!!!!!!!!

[@deanpapadopoulos3314]

I didn’t know this about quiet and the ears ringing. Thank you for sharing this. I wondered about it and whether I was okay.

[@lesliethurston2151]

INJF's make the best long-distance solo hikers. Days alone with nature. The kernel of simplicity and regime. Need more be said?

[@INFJcircle]

This is a great way to get out, connect with nature and engage your extroverted sensing. Totally agree. Jay

[@deanpapadopoulos3314]

Bingo!! And the solo motorcycle adventure traveler.

[@audie-cashstack-uk4881]

I was just about to say travelling no walking hiking yes ok you move from a to b your travelling but to walk alone is the cool thing to do

[@kevinmacleod6761]

I live in the northern Highlands of Scotland. I'm fortunate to be surrounded by beautiful countryside. It's essential for me to get out in nature regularly. Walking or mountain biking in the forests, straths and mountains here really rejuvenates me.😊

[@emmarae4322]

I ❤ hiking and cycling alone.

[@mybiz1006]

I love routine, uneventful days. My favorite kind. Also- I hate my birthday- anyone else? Simple Life all the way. Material things-- don't care! I drive to go on hikes with husband or the dog if he doesn't want to go. I'm very content with simple, calm. Thanks for the video.

[@INFJcircle]

Love the "boring" days! Not a fan of my bday either. It's like, "so?" lol. Jay

[@marilynherrera3185]

😂 You hate your birthday! OH gosh, I can relate to that. All that social pressure about celebrating and it is supposed to do many things, many photos, many posts 😅 oh wow, I'm 💯 INFJ

[@janetsabb3794]

I have never liked my birthday--too much attention and focus coming my way. Now that I'm in my 60's, I don't always answer the phone, because I hear from so many folks all on the same day, and it's just too much. I call people back over the next several days, but enjoy the peace and serenity as I desire on my b-day.

[@edennis8578]

Birthday? Nobody notices. I get a card from one son and a gift card from the other. Other than that, it's just another day. 🤷‍♀️ How do you all get so much attention?

[@obiblooze5902]

I hate my birthday and Christmas

[@kristilee7006]

Wow, this is so me too! I used to feel like something was wrong with me for being this way, but I’ve come to be proud of it and fully embrace and accept it as who I am. I love my 5:30 am coffee and self-reflection time!

[@vinyleyezz]

This video speaks to my soul. Thank you. This is exactly how I feel! 👍

[@N1IA-4]

As a fellow INFJ, I can relate. I'll never understand why people consider constant exciting activity as necessary. Perhaps if they had to sit two minutes with themselves, they couldn't stand it.

[@INFJcircle]

I believe this is true for many. Jay

[@ajestlemonde]

You know what's so cool about me? I can take something completely boring and turn it into an epic story. I was caught in a thunderstorm... and it was the most ecstatic, transcendental moment for me.

[@MaryDunford]

Same. I love watching dragonflies waltz and trees dance. You're right. It's pretty freaking cool. 😎👍

[@cc1k435]

That's why there are so many INFJ writers!

[@INFJcircle]

Love it. Jay

[@ajestlemonde]

@@MaryDunford A friend of mine told the story of how we met... I told my side of it. He looked stunned because my side of the story made him out to be the hero in the story. His friend clapped ecstatically and told me what an awesome tale I had just told.

[@GraceRay-b9m]

I can relate to the thunderstorms.

[@RunningNotStopping]

Omg i agree with you completely about the vacation style. I hate full itineraries. Just let me chill! I have always dreamed of reading a book for hours on the beach!

[@joanaborrellsanchez9225]

As an INFP, I think that there is a magic in being alone, just reading, staring at the wall, being a simple human in a simple room doing simple things. It's perfect. Very peacful. I was ashamed of being like this when I was younger too. Many people won't understand, but as long as you, as an introvert, do, it's enough.

[@INFJcircle]

Agree. Jay

[@emmarae4322]

I’m never bored in my head. 😂❤ I love being alone, spending time in nature, hiking and cycling and cooking. It’s nuts people can’t grasp that we are satisfied with this. Yes, routine is a necessity.

[@MichaelYoder1961]

I always tell people that I have to plan my spontaneity. If you want me to go for coffee this afternoon - it's not going to happen.

[@photogal39travels]

I put this saying on my wall that says "Some people don't understand that sitting in your own house alone in peace, eating snacks and minding your own business is priceless".... Thank you for this video and the rest of them. Until I listened to this video, I've always thought I was eccentric and I've been told I'm odd. I'm OK with it and proud of it now as an older adult.

[@INFJcircle]

That’s the attitude to have! Jay

[@faithworks217]

I worked with a project manager who told me that he thought I am eccentric, but he liked it.

[@NorthToSouthChannel]

Some of my favorite things are: waking up and opening my curtains to watch the sunrise, making my coffee and drinking it either way too fast or forgetting about it and reheating it 7 times, listening to the birdsong... I relate very much that a simple life is what I long for. And I actively think every day how I can accomplish that in a way that feels right to me. Presence absolutely is the key to contentment. I made a video with a similar conclusion just a few months ago. It's crazy and nice finding other INFJs and realizing I'm not the only one having these deep and curious thoughts. Thank you.

[@INFJcircle]

Thanks for the comment! Yes, staying in the present. It's the only way to contentment. Looking forward and back will never bring peace. Love your simple things, I relate. Jay

[@deanpapadopoulos3314]

So funny about coffee. Me too. I’ll also make it and leave it there while I’m enjoying tea…I just don’t want to miss my coffee but recognize I need variety 😂😂😂😂😂😂. True record of behavior.

[@NorthToSouthChannel]

​@@deanpapadopoulos3314 I call myself a "beverage goblin" because I hoard drinks. Usually water bottle, coffee, tea and a seltzer water is on my desk usually all at the same time. lol

[@livelyara]

I got diagnosed with a rare genetic "disorder" after a near death experience at a routine dental visit. That was in 2018. The last four years I only leave my home two times a year! And I could not be happier! That near death...brought me to life! Ppl say to me all time how miserable I have to be not being able to drive or leave the house. Maybe for them, but for me it is HOME! I think it is sad that so many view being away from home their happy place! Maybe if they stayed home more and studied history, they would know why they hate home....just like corporate America designed it to be! They don't realize they leave home everyday and are way more miserable than I could ever be! Thank you for another wonderful video brother! God bless!

[@INFJcircle]

Others can't understand the comfort of our "castle". We build it and use it to restore peace, have joy, and live our lives. Thanks for sharing your story. I understand. Jay

[@cochinfarmbanana8774]

Me too triggering SCN9a gendefect 😘

[@akferren1]

Totally understand you.. love a simple quiet boring life..I love being home alone reading or working out, listening to music etc.. my dog is my companion

[@INFJcircle]

Sounds like a great life. Jay

[@deanpapadopoulos3314]

Interesting you say workout as I just bought my gym equipment for home. It’s good to know that’s part of us too. I can get tired just thinking about going to a public gym…way too much noise and nonsense.

[@itsHeatherKay]

I have never understood the party scene myself. Going to a club that’s loud and full of dirty people and unknown quantities of character, bumping shoulders with strangers who probably have nothing in common with me… and maybe even want to take advantage of me in someway… big NO THANK YOU. I have had some wonderful travels but my favorite parts are sitting on the cruise ship balcony just looking at the water or sitting by the ocean, etc.

[@INFJ-Empath07]

I could not agree more. Boring is exciting to me. As cliché as that sounds, simple, routine, easy going is the best in the world. I find enjoying just watching a waterfall, the fireplace, just staring out into the sky getting lost over looking at my phone every 5 minutes. Great video!!

[@INFJcircle]

Totally agree! Jay

[@deanpapadopoulos3314]

‘Boring is exciting,’…perfect language. This describes it especially after a day of getting things done or after a trip. Thank you for expressing it like this.

[@maybee...]

I love this, my former husband told me that I was boring. I avoid busy loud places, I love being alone, at home, in the woods, in my car... I shop early in the morning, check my mail late in the day all to avoid people, the busy parking lots. In the end my husband was sorry he lost me, he said he had it made when we were together. I brought a certain peace to our life. Take him back? Oh no, he deserved to flounder, it was tough love.

[@TreyB-Måneravn]

Humbly and powerfully stated, Jay! I can indeed relate. Thank you for sharing!

[@INFJcircle]

Thank you Trey! Jay

[@What_is_wrong_with_this_world]

As a fellow INFJ male I would like to share a quote from a philosopher in ancient Greece: "He has the most who is most content with the least." - Diogenes

[@DIYPrecisionTool]

I've been a gearhead my entire life. Love motorsports. I've learned that riding my motorcycle, or driving my sports cars, ALONE, is when I'm happiest. I can meetup with friends/folks at stops for a while but then have to get back to riding/driving alone. That's when I'm the happiest and in my most serene modes. Never understood why until I learned that I was an INFJ. All my past and present "quirkiness" and "oddities" suddenly made sense and I no longer felt like I was from another universe. It was a watershed moment in my life. Great content! Thanks!

[@yeswing10]

Me, too. My outings are driving my Mustang through back country roads, stopping in old storefront towns, looking up the History of that town, and eating at a Mom and Pop Diner.

[@deanpapadopoulos3314]

Me too. Solo single-track adventure motorcycle traveler. I stay in hotels rather than camp in order to get some human interaction for the day while traveling.

[@lisaofthelodge]

What a wonderful human, you are so genuine and transparent. Superb content which has really inspired me to feel empowered about my preferred solitude! Thank you truly 💛

[@INFJcircle]

Thanks so much. I hope as the channel grows I can share more and more about real INFJ life. Thanks for watching :) Jay

[@deanpapadopoulos3314]

‘…empowered by my preferred solitude,’ excellent language choice of words about how to describe what we do. Quotable.

[@tamtam6723]

I don't know who said this, but it's one of my favorite quotes. "If the simple things in life don't put a smile on your face, then you will never be truly happy."

[@excelsiore457]

I actually admire INFJs no one should ever feel the need to explain themselves all the time or feel guilty for living a life no one understands you were put on this earth to follow your own journey people will come and go some people will help you but they can’t walk it for you some people you’ll have to let go and it will hurt harder as life goes on this also goes for “family” that will never understand or see your point of view stay strong my friends stay on your path the people who are meant to be with you will never put themselves in a position to lose you you do you.

[@LisaJohnson-s8e]

Wow this is such awakening for me! Now I feel normal it is okay to be a boring person 😮 I related everything you said. Thank you for creating this platform to help people like me.❤

[@deborahfendrich2461]

When I was in my teenage years, a neighbor, who was the same age and went to the same high school, tried to do me a favour, by introducing me to her circle of friends. I literally felt like an alien, because I simply wasn‘t able to engage in their (kinda) superficial conversations and I also could‘nt relate to many of their values and ideas about life. This experience gave me the confirmation, that I‘m better off alone, than surrounded by people I‘ve nothing in common with 🤷‍♀️. My ideal day: preparing a tasty lunch box and a thermo mug of coffee, grabbing a water bottle and my cagoule, stuffing everything into a backpack, putting on my hiking shoes and venturing off into the woods or mountains, till the sun goes down 🥰🏔️🌲🌳☀️🥾.

[@catm-y1j]

I can understand how others would look at my life as boring but I never saw it that way. I always found my inner world interesting and full of life. However, I do struggle trying to live in the moment many times because of it.

[@INFJcircle]

It's tough for us to live in the moment. I agree. something to keep working on! Jay

[@DoofenSpyroDragon16]

I’m usually lost in my own world with my imagination. It’s the best. 😄

[@DoofenSpyroDragon16]

Never understood the need to be doing something every 5 seconds. At school we weren’t allowed to have our phones, and while everyone else was itching to grab theirs, I would just quietly sit idly and stare into space, completely immersed in whatever story I was telling myself in my head.

[@faithworks217]

Same

[@MissUnderstood_Mom]

I loooooooooove my boring life!! I cannot wait to buy a little house in a quiet town that is surrounded by beautiful nature. Secluded and beautiful. ♥️

[@thewatcher2270]

I feel so understood!...... Always had and still have friends and people making fun of me and my lifestyle. I notice it's always from people who don't know anything about contentment (I think their just Jealous) because being alone makes me happy, and it annoys them because they don't understand it. The older I become the more I don't want to be around people, because of the way people are now. Full of Drama, Lies, Gossip, Anger and very Moody. No thanks, I'll do me and you do you!

[@claudegauthier5179]

I chose the lonely life over 25 years ago. I just love being home alone doing what I want.

[@maryknolemontales1736]

I tried what other people's do because they say my life is boring. But I don't like the things that make them not boring. Most of them are against my personal values and morals. What makes me happy is reading books too in a quiet place. When I was studying, you will always find me in the library.

[@jeremy1350]

Hi Jay. Well Spoken. I agree 100%. I love my simple life. I have my routine. I have things I do every day, rituals to follow, chores to do. I also love learning about myself, (read: My INFJ self). I have some folks I follow in that area. I don't need people, drama, and all that comes with it. Goodnight from Montreal.

[@INFJcircle]

Thank you Jeremy. I agree with you. I'm glad we can all support each other here. Always amazes me to hear where you all are from! Jay

[@tatjm7454]

I work on finances because my father pushed me to pursuit that and I suck at it. After many years of being tired and depressed I realized that I want to become a psychologist. I don't care about the money I just want to be happy

[@RayPointerChannel]

Having peace within yourself is a good thing. The trouble is too many people do not know how to have a good time and try too hard to have it. All they do is run a hectic life and make a lot of noise. But they are not really happy. And they way people are to rude and anti-social now, I don't blame anyone wanting to be quiet and enjoy their sanctuary.

[@bellavita2484]

Amen. This message goes way beyond being an INFJ. Living a simple life, being content with what you have, excepting yourself, enjoying the little things and finding joy in other than just material things - all that does remind me of things the Bible teaches. I would add that journaling and spending time in prayer can be so fulfilling to us and anyone actually. As a Christian INFJ, I agree with you and really enjoy your content. God bless you 🙏

[@INFJcircle]

Excellent comments and additions! thank you for watching. :) Jay

[@Cat54867]

Omg. It’s just so crazy to hear another person describe my life. I’m OLD now. I have lived my entire life without understanding all of this. I went to nursing school but left it. I saved up some money and sunk it into a remodel and equipment to provide a cats only boarding service. Since I adore kitties, it was a good fit for me. I was able to do it all from my property for 20 years.♥️

[@secretsquirrel9713]

"It's hard to explain what I like to do to other people." You could take that two different ways! 🙃 Here's to a peaceful life.

[@INFJcircle]

I thought about that after I’d already said it. Too late! Ha ha. Jay

[@secretsquirrel9713]

@@INFJcircle Well, it made me smile and hello from Ireland.

[@cc1k435]

A very INFJ answer, then. 😂

[@deanpapadopoulos3314]

I don’t understand your comment.

[@CamMcGinn1981]

Something that so many of my friends don't understand is that for me to recharge I need two things: 1. To be alone 2. Conscious passage of time. They don't understand that sure, sleeping is physically recharging, but when I sleep I don't remember my dreams. I feel like I blink and 6-8 hours have passed. I feel fine physically, but I'm still exhausted mentally. Why? Because who recharges in a single blink? I haven't had a proper recharge in almost four months and I feel my soul vibrating. It's very disconcerting but still people insist on hour long conversations about absolutely nothing and getting upset when I revert to grunts or one word answers as a protective mechanism to my brain. My brain is not the same as theirs, and that makes them think I hate them or something.

[@leloupduvillage]

Someone called me a homebody once. I felt that I should be offended or at least contradict. But then I thought 'yes, yes I am. And I'm very happy with that 😊!' It truly is the little things that make me happy and content. Nice breakfast, watching the birds, a book nearby, favorite music in the background... Bliss 🥰.

[@INFJcircle]

I'm a homebody too. Proud of it :) Jay

[@deanpapadopoulos3314]

I hear you. You described it well. Thanks for birds. I too enjoy birds. I think they’re kind of like us…living their life and not busy with all the other creatures are doing but noticing them nonetheless.

[@DoofenSpyroDragon16]

I love hearing and watching birds, especially the adorable lil finches and the way they hop around!! It’s so cute!!! 😁😁

[@tonypoepoe3150]

Home is where it’s at . Others have to be sorry but not the INFJ . Shopping , malls anywhere there’s crowds tends to drain my energy quickly .❤ to all my INFJ peeps !

[@INFJcircle]

I literally feel my battery meter dropping at the mall. Lol. Thanks for watching! Jay

[@DonTrump-sv1si]

90% of the time i live a lazy boring life, but the other 10% of the time i could probably write a best selling novel on it.

[@meagiesmuse2334]

As "N" types, I think we can connect the dots and see the pattern of what others think they should be doing for the consumerist programming that it is. We are constantly bombarded with the idea that we should be spending money, but we are not really the ones who benefit from pursing external validation, and we can see that. I think most of us INFJs get our validation internally, so fancy cars and bigger houses and more expensive vacations impress us all right, but not at all in the way people want us to be impressed by those things.

[@INFJcircle]

Exactly, I can fall for it, but I can also see through it. It’s cheaper to see through it! Jay

[@deanpapadopoulos3314]

Not all N-types connect the dots. INFJs specifically do which where we get our insights.

[@kristyboxx]

We INFJ’s seem to be pretty damn good at creating a life we don’t need to nor want to escape from. - That’s my lovely takeaway from this video. Thank you for that!

[@whatisthat1585]

I am an INFJ too. I love my virtues, morals, integrity, values, beliefs, and my little tiny world. I don't have so much friends because they don't feel me and can't empathize with me. They think live with values and to think deep meaningful things are just funny. So I chose to be alone and be lonely in the crowd.

[@INFJcircle]

I understand where you are coming from. Comparable friends are tough to find. Our home is our castle, stay strong! Jay

[@whatisthat1585]

@@INFJcircle that's a good words. Thank you😊💕

[@annmowatt7547]

When in my teens, I was a real chameleon and had all sorts of different friends. Now, I have found the joys of being me and have no need to try to conform.

[@ranc1977]

"People expect the quiet one to adapt to the loud people but not the other way around" Neurotypical (NT) personality: - strong social and communication skills - navigates socially complex situations with ease - makes friends and establishes romantic one with ease - ability to participate in loud, crowded, or visually overwhelming settings with ease (verywellmind) "neurotypical individuals often assume that their experience of the world is either the only one or the only correct one"

[@sb6181]

Most people are anxious and stressed because they are over stimulated and consumed by heavily filtered social media lifestyles. So many people are energised when they have a “quiet night in” because they get to be removed from a hectic lifestyle. Believe me, more people than you think crave to be “boring” but feel pressured to have a cool life . The reality is that these same people are often the most anxious and unhappy.

[@JackieKay11]

Less than a minute in and nodding along in agreement 😊

[@DoofenSpyroDragon16]

Lol I nodded to this comment 😁

[@JackieKay11]

@@DoofenSpyroDragon16 Oh thanks for this response, it made me watch the video again 😄 I think I should watch it every day as it serves as an excellent reminder of how good it makes me feel 😊 Also thanks again to Jay ☺️

[@cynthiajohnson9412]

I love this video. And though I know I don't really need permission to love my boring life as an INFJ, I still appreciate it. And somehow this video reminded me of something Miss Manners wrote years ago in defense of call screening. She didn't feel that other people could demand one's time and attention just because they called, after all she said, "I might be doing something important, like looking out the window at trees." I think INFJs will understand that. I'd like to have that framed and put on my wall.

[@INFJcircle]

Love that quote. Thanks for watching! Jay

[@ericherman5413]

I'm right there with you. Just like you, I do occasionally wish I had somebody I could talk to about important stuff. I tend to talk with my mom, as she's pretty introverted, too. But some of what I learn is, in her words, over her head.

[@INFJcircle]

I can relate. It's tough for us to find people we connect deeply with. Jay

[@Coryraisa]

Me too! I love mostly quiet days reading, watching films on my DVD or YT or writing. I never understood why some people crave high adventure or even worse, drama.

[@STRONGfamVALUEZ]

😂😂😂🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤ Love me today. An im ok with being a boring homebody. Love learning, an being artsy fartsy Love Nature. I finally have peace. 2 years single an finally just being me unapologetically . Thank you so much for ur videos, ur voice is calming an hearing from another INFJ has made my days so much better, appreciate you.!❤❤❤

[@INFJcircle]

Thank you, I appreciate you too! Jay

[@Spydeberg7876]

This feels like home ❤ Was thinking that other types would watch this and be like omg that is so boring, but this is all I want. No traveling, partying, socializing, boyfriend, kids, just me and what I like. It’s hard to stand up tall in this though, so looking forward to watching your videos. Found out i, INFJ about six months ago, it’s so my truth ❤

[@Dixierocks20]

I feel a huge relief right now. I've just realized there's nothing wrong with me. Wow! I always rejected myself for not being "normal" and refusing to go to bars or clubs and staying at home listening to music, reading or creating something instead.

[@wren3347]

My favorite response to someone when they ask me what's going on is "nothing" or "I'm just rolling with it" which is true because nothing is so peaceful and my favorite place to be. I'll shamelessly tell people I am boring because my life is so minimal and devoid of excitement and I will protect my peace at all costs.

[@nanetten6238]

I hope you really understand how helpful and amazing you are! Just knowing that there are other INFJs out there is a comfort. My work is mostly from home, so in an average week I leave my house on three days. The other four days are blissful stay-at-home days. I used to feel guilty about that, but not anymore. Sir, you are a treasure, as well as all the other INFJs out there!! Thanks so much for what you are doing. I look forward to seeing your channel grow.

[@INFJcircle]

You are welcome! I agree, we must lose the guilt over this. Thanks so much for the comment! Jay

[@bsmith5404]

How to kill Christmas small talk: “So, what are you doing for Christmas Day then?” … “Absolutely nothing.” (Pitying looks 😆)

[@DoofenSpyroDragon16]

🤣

[@DoofenSpyroDragon16]

Even better, just smile contentedly afterwards. 😁

[@sylviekins]

I know! I feel the need to explain, but I love it when I get the chance to be quiet at Christmas.

[@NoStoryNoWorry]

You get it. Sometimes, I love doing what seems like “nothing”. I love doing nothing but yet, that’s still doing something. What’s better? By doing and enjoying “nothing”, everything becomes something and is more fulfilling.

[@INFJcircle]

Totally agree! Jay

[@jacksonpuckett6115]

Love your videos man! I'm 32 years old married 7 years with a 5 yo daughter. I just learned yesterday I'm type INFJ. It's so interesting hearing others speak about it. THANK YOU for helping me learn more about myself. As you said once, you didn't always realize the things you do now. I must say as a true INFJ, I've learned a LOT about myself and others in the past few years. Everything I've learned aligns PERFECTLY with what you speak. Thank you for teaching me to embrace myself more in the moment. This is a huge one I've had to learn the hard way. If you are INFJ : Try your best to live in the moment! It's hard and takes practice, but just do it when you can. We also love cats. ❤

[@margaretries2606]

Proud to be a INFJ. Love my time alone.

[@homeatmerehaven]

“As INFJs we’re just really good at building a life we don’t want to escape from” - so well said, and exactly my sentiments as a fellow INFJ. We make home a place we want to be! Thank you!

[@juli-fz7ep]

I agreeeeeee❤❤ Thank you for being so honest! I enjoy being alone way more than with other people and alot of others just dont understand that

[@BadgerWolf-19]

My uncle taught me that to master the monotony of life is to have a solid basline of peace and serenity.

[@Snugos]

Uncanny! I love my morning coffee and little daily rituals and research and working from home. I'm never ever bored or lonely and can never ever have enough time alone. Thank you!

[@INFJcircle]

I’m totally with you. You are welcome! Jay

[@Headroomtalking]

"I can entertain myself completely." 😂 I feel so understood

[@INFJcircle]

:) Jay

[@DoofenSpyroDragon16]

Same!! @thepalereaper

[@stevenm7408]

Every single one of your videos are packed full of such wisdom, thanks for all your effort you put into these, they are making a huge difference!

[@INFJcircle]

Thanks so much. Appreciate you watching, commenting, and contributing to the channel my friend. Jay

[@JasonCallaghan-q3w]

This is what we all work for its not boring it's the reward for running the treadmill for years

[@just-sayin67]

Thanks for this video! When I lived alone for the first time after college, I was miserable and lonely. I wondered what was wrong with me that I wasn't out having fun with people? Now that I understand my personality type, I have permission to be happy with my own entertainment at home!

[@Jd09104]

We need to be friends. Take it from an INFJ, this video literally describes my entire life. Thank you

[@rubycubez1103]

I agree completely with you. Im glad you made this video. Most ppl I interact with, even on a superficial level always give that disappointing "oh" after I tell them my inner world plans and insinuate thats my fun. Ive had ppl shame me saying "its not good to always be alone". To that I say, it is for me. The idea of being around ppl just because and calling it fun sounds like not being good for me lol. Its just odd how judgemental ppl are. Im not judging how exhausting they are....or am I? Lol

[@INFJcircle]

Great points. It really does seem others are very "forthcoming" with their judgements about our preferences. Oh well, that's why we need to build our confidence and stand behind what makes us happy. Thanks for the comment! Jay

[@carmzan7253]

*As an INFJ, i feel soooo lucky and blessed to have a partner thats sooo deep thinker,.. every talk i have with this person feels like we are in a different space., just the two of us*

[@janafinlayson8297]

Simple life is good enough. There are times when life is asking us to be more isolated from others than in other periods of our lives. And it seems that INFJs can adapt to being alone quite well. I can see it on myself, the more I am isolated from others the more introverted I become. There's so many people in the world and it's a shame we struggle with finding genuine connections. Looking for a change, whenever it supposes to arrive, and more balance though.

[@INFJcircle]

Yes, great points, there needs to be a balance. I think in this world, though, the balance leans far to the social end of the spectrum. In other words, people think social is good, and being alone as bad. Any company is better than no company. But, I’ve found that about three hours a day out and about is good enough for me. this is mainly because when we are with people we don’t feel a connection with the value is much less. If I found someone I really connected with I could probably spend all day with them (and have done that before). So, yes, there must be a balance, but I think the INFJ balance sways much more to alone time than most personality types. And this will change throughout life especially if we find someone we connect with. Jay

[@janafinlayson8297]

@@INFJcircle Cannot agree more with your points, Jay. Having bad company can be draining, confusing and after all leads nowhere. Worst of all, we get further from our true selves. In our culture, there is a lot of emphasis on being social without considering whether it is good for us or not. Many people cannot be alone and that is a real issue. On the whole, it is important to accept and enjoy whatever life brings - whether it is being alone or spending time with a special person we connect with.

[@EmilyFoxSeaton]

You took the words right out of my mouth. Every time I go on leave.. my boss asks me if I am going to travel. Um. NO! I need to rest. It isn't like I haven't traveled but travel for travel's sake is not something I want.

[@angeladawn805]

Wherever you go, there you are. I like pottering around my humble home, like a Hobbit. Going for walks with my elderly dog (I count every with him as a gift). Sadly we're bombarded by Consumerist messages to spend spend spend. I feel like minimalist lifestyles suit INFJs, no vexing clutter. No keeping up with the Jones's

[@INFJcircle]

Love the "hobbit" talk. I always related to the little guys - and if I take a little adventure - well, I am so happy to get back home again. Agree about consumerism/materialism. Jay

[@sonali.gokani]

When I moved abroad for university, I completely transformed from an introvert to An extrovert. I used to travel spontaneously and be excited for plans all the time to discover the new world. But soon I had started working and started prioritising my comfort leaving behind my friends of the same age. I am 34 now and only recently I have started to find my INFJ personality clarify and come to the shore. This This gradually reflects better and better on my resume Over time. And now that I discover what INFJ is, I am shocked and impressed by the similarities found. In fact the exactitude.

[@denisel780]

Thank you so much for this video. It is so validating. I agree with everything you are saying here. Once we start paying attention to what we need in life it is such a game changer. This last year was the first year I stopped making excuses for myself and defending me and I am very excited to keep it going this year. Really looking forward to your upcoming videos. This is the most REAL INFJ channel I have seen so far. Keep up the great work and Happy 2024!

[@INFJcircle]

Thank you. That means a lot. I’m trying to keep it real :) Jay