Injury Lawyer Reacts to: 1000 Ways To Die (Oof)

[@theoneeyedone4786]

Pirate Tom is back

[@dustinmurphy82able]

What is the “F” in the chat all about? I need to know lol I don’t do Reddit

[@maddhatter4077]

@@dustinmurphy82able it's reference from an Older Call of Duty game where you are prompted to hit F to pay respects.

[@bwright3943]

Damn right he is scallywag

[@soupcansam75]

Punished* Tom

[@Here4Years]

Pirate Tom: The Scourge of Corporate America Rrrrrrrr!

[@SilverStarHeggisist]

Show says "single shot rifle", shows him assembling a semi auto 22 rifle. Show says "the advantage to a single shot, is that it's easier to assemble then a semi auto, shows the most complex assembly process I've ever seen for a rifle.

[@John-Perry]

I thought that was hilarious. You can dissassemble a short barrel AR pistol into two stowable pieces in 30 seconds; a bolt action would most definitely not break down small enough to fit inside of a backpack lmao.

[@clonescope2433]

Here's the thing that's a semi auto AR-7 survival rifle. So they really fudge that because it's meant to be taken down and reassembled easily

[@SilverStarHeggisist]

@@clonescope2433 thanks. I had no idea what exact gun it was. Just that it wasn't what they said it was lol.

[@SilverStarHeggisist]

@@John-Perry they do, but it takes way more work typically

[@ZeldagigafanMatthew]

And them saying that ejected brass can give your position away... like the act of firing isn't already doing that...

[@airvent6199]

One of the episodes of this show was based on Gary Hoy, a lawyer who died throwing himself from a high rise window in an attempt to brag about the window's strength. To his credit though, the seams on the window gave way causing the panel to detach, the actual window didn't break until it hit the ground.

[@the0ne809]

If i remember well the they had an episode about some dude in a chimney or something like that. That one happened. There are a couple of the episodes that seemed real but they changed the names, locations, and a few other details.

[@aeki4923]

Its called habeas corpse

[@ElderonAnalas]

@@the0ne809 a bit late, but supposedly every episode / death is based on a true story. They just have to change the names and places the details, but they keep the facts of the death itself as close to Accurate as possible. Supposedly. Given the disclaimer at the beginning, where they do talk about simply changing the names of the deceased. I don't know how factually accurate that actually is, if any of the deaths were actually just made up or overly exaggerated to the point of being fantasy.

[@samuraijackoff5354]

@@ElderonAnalas If there is a way and a when, there are definitely people who have died exactly like those.

[@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072]

@@the0ne809 chime?

[@dmytro732]

I love how they say "single shot bolt action rifle", but then show a semi-auto .22lr ar-7 survival rifle in the video.

[@emperortrevornorton3119]

I am very glad that I was not the only person to notice that Every bolt action I have had were either single or under barrel chamber for rounds not a magazine or clip

[@CallSaul489]

@@emperortrevornorton3119 I bet Alec Baldwin was producing this episode.

[@RejectedSonnet]

"Single-shot" to many people simply means "not semi automatic". It's wrong, but that's why this sort of thing happens.

[@rexjolles]

@@CallSaul489 dude that wasn't his fault

[@CallSaul489]

@@rexjolles Negligent Manslaughter. That’s what he’s guilty of. Baldwin had received gun safety training many times in the past. He should’ve checked the ammo. Each time the gun exchanges hands, the gun should be checked by the receiver. That’s called a responsible chain of custody. This was his fault because he was negligent. Ironically Baldwin is anti-gun which further highlights his unwillingness to learn proper gun safety. The case is clear cut. He didn’t intended to kill someone but his negligence did.

[@themitchwich]

Could a blind person be compensated in a civil court if their seeing eye dog was wrongfully injured/killed that prevented it from performing its job?

[@SilverStarHeggisist]

Probably

[@derrickhaggard]

Yes they can however the severity of the punishment given to the criminal depends on the respective state's laws. For example in my home state of Arkansas doing anything to willingly injure or kill a service dog like a seeing-eye dog insures the offender will not only pay compensation but also go to jail as Arkansas law states that deliberately injuring or killing a service dog is a Class D++ Felony.

[@sadmermaid]

It depends.

[@chelmastly5802]

Seeing eye dogs, as well as any other certified medical assistant type animal, are considered medical equipment by law. This means that, if you were to injure one, the punishment for the crime would depend on how much this effected the owner, I believe.

[@ItsAsparageese]

@@chelmastly5802 Yeah, glad someone accurately clarified the status of disability service animals. If anything their legal designation as medical equipment just cements them being treated as property, and so cements the case being probably just subject to what's criminal under local laws. However, I'd conjecture that there's a case to be made for civil liability for trauma and distress _secondary to_ the destruction of necessary medical equipment (for a dog or any other medical equipment), so a victim could presumably pursue that on the civil side I figure, and make a case for the significance of their emotional distress under that label, even if there's not a specific case for wrongful death as there would be with a human. Sucks really, I get the logic but it's infuriating that pets can't be legally regarded as having the same significance as other family members despite the fact that psychosocial science clearly shows for most people there's really no difference in the parallel emotional bonds, traumas, et cetera.

[@Singsongpingpong]

The electrocution was part of the chess bots strategy. To sweat you out and then take your title and your life.

[@bobbypamzambie2852]

Shib army for the win

[@ancapftw9113]

It's a really sore loser. Like those guys in westerns that shoot people over poker, if it can't win, it will kill you.

[@ginrodino8542]

As far as I'm aware, it did its job perfectly.

[@PtylerBeats]

Making him sweat was all part of the plan to make him more conducive to the incoming electric shock.

[@NerdsPwnN00bs]

Honestly super interesting case. Worlds first AI murder?

[@bewitche]

Late last year, we found out our HR manager was actually an ex-con and a con artist who went by 7 different aliases, and previously pretended to be a law enforcement officer to harass his ex-wife. He was arrested at work and made threats of violence against the administration staff as he was taken out. Our employer kept armed police on the grounds for two months. No one could leave the building without being walked to their car. If you were smoking or enjoying lunch outside, an officer had to stay with you. It was a pretty intense time for us, but it was nice to see the measures they took to keep us all safe.

[@thaloblue]

omg corporate taking threats seriously? that’s amazing. I’m glad they made moves to keep y’all safe. He sounds like a whack job.

[@KaysNewGroove]

That's a nice change of pace from how a lot of corporations deal with threats. Kudos to them, they seem like good people to work for.

[@corbinbrier0]

When it comes to suing for a pets life I'd imagine a service dog would fall under the economic value category. Especially since they are protected under law.

[@unclecreepy4185]

Pet owners are entitled to compensations for the death of a pet, but generally not an economic value (meaning they make the pet owner money). A service animal doesn’t generate income, but compensation for replacement would be considerably higher. Plus, any cost the owner has to pay for services until a replacement service dog is found would be considered under damages (like having to rent a service animal or hire someone to do what the animal did for them).

[@SpearM3064]

@@unclecreepy4185 Exactly. Service animals are not cheap. Between the cost of the dog and the specialized training (for both owner AND dog), they can run into thousands of dollars. Furthermore, some states do have laws specifically pertaining to service animals; for example, in Arizona, it'd be a Class 6 felony; in Arkansas or Delaware, it's a class D felony, and so on. In fact, almost all states have at least _some_ laws specifically pertaining to deliberately causing the injury or death of a service animal.

[@morningcoffeeOW]

The last episode of 1000 ways to die Premature Endings "In the end, the choice is yours. You can be a total moron, die a victim of your own stupidity, and wind up on our show, or live a long and sensible life, and go home and watch it. All this time, 1000 Ways to Die has been an instructional manual... for how to live." ❤

[@HauntedOne666]

I wouldnt take any lessons from shows aired on spike

[@zimmygirl777]

“Life is ours to choose. Who knows? I could be dead tomorrow.”- Mark Fischbach💀👻

[@germimonte]

most deaths on the show have no case, it goes out of it's way to paint the victims as either evil or too stupid to live

[@Lawrence330]

One of the few episodes that I've actually seen features a lady on a night out with a friend. It's heavily implied that she's "done with men" and is looking to experiment with another lady. She gets electrocuted by a faulty lamp post or something equally bizarre and the tag line was "lesbo-cution." As distasteful then as it is now (modern sensibilities and all). But aside from dying on the way home from the club, she wasn't depicted as doing anything particularly evil or reckless. This show is kind of garbage. Hot take, I know. Edit: not arguing against your point, that's a pretty common theme in the show. Just commenting on the general "ick" of the concept in general.

[@devilord3271]

@@Lawrence330 one of the writers must have been rejected by a lesbian because I can think of a couple other instances where the show will mention that a woman is lesbian before getting killed

[@germimonte]

@@devilord3271 the show is heavy on imposing it's own morals, it wouldn't surprise me it it was anti-LGBT+

[@devilord3271]

@@germimonte Spike TV has a heavy emphasis on masculinity and sex, so naturally the show itself emphasises those qualities, it's probably some weird attempt to lean on the "sexy" side, one of the lesbian deaths I recall was one where a girl tries to eat another girl out and chokes on her panties which were made out of candy

[@blindey]

@@germimonte I noticed it in the Ralph clip, a small thing but they were like WE HAVE RULES TOO AT 1000 WAYS TO DIE, IF YOU KILL ONE OF *GOD'S CREATURES*. Uhhuh. :3 (That line delivery made me laugh though ngl)

[@drowningincats3921]

In NY (at least thru the mid 2000’s, idk about now) you could sue in small claims for the life of a pet. A cat was valued around $30 and a dog around $50. Obviously very few ppl pursued it, but that’s what you would get. Source: worked for vet, saw and heard some crazy shit lol

[@joelcerda7594]

)^:

[@Madkalibyr]

I’m disappointed to learn this side of the law, especially because if anyone ever intentionally hurts my cat-I’m going to jail!:p

[@LadyBern]

I wonder what the value of a bodega cat is. Though a health code violation they provide a service that save owners a lot of money in vermin control and some are mascots to establishments with small merch.

[@alejandromartinez751]

My dogs were killed by a neighbors dog the judge made my neighbor pay for the full amount I paid for the dogs.

[@Lawrence330]

Not a lawyer, but I think that's some BS law writing right there. If you own a pet, like you'd own a stereo or a car or any other object of value, you should be able to pursue a reasonable "replacement" value. Puppies are often listed for $400-2000 in my area, for example. Also, if you don't "own" a pet and therefore aren't entitled to compensation for its loss, why/how is it possible to be found liable for damages *caused* by a pet? "Officer, that's not my dog that bit you, it's God's dog, see? We can't own animals under the law. They aren't possessions and have no value."

[@bboyhanvzla]

Attorney Tom: I'm not saying anything without my lawyer present Judge: but you're the lawyer! Attorney Tom: so, where's my present? I'll see myself out.

[@CaptainChard]

New loophole discovered

[@unclecreepy4185]

It’s not much, but I made you this gold medal for that joke. Lawyer dad joke for the win!

[@CEOofAutism]

there's a deep pit in hell for people who murder rape and exploit people, below that pit is where the people who tell dad jokes go.

[@FrancisR420]

@@CEOofAutism I pity them

[@Knightwolf1994]

Here's your 🏅.

[@EarCat]

No Fs in the chat for Ralph, he gets an L

[@unnamellie]

Hi destiny gun

[@EarCat]

@@unnamellie hello good human.

[@AeriykTheRed]

The ladder is the real hero here.

[@nickpapadopoulos9978]

L

[@zimmygirl777]

John Wick hates Ralph.😾🐶

[@unclecreepy4185]

You can’t sue the USSR government. No, but you can put a murderous chess machine on trial in the USSR.

[@Rangerino]

I thought this show was a fever dream.

[@Not_An_EV]

To be fair I first came across this series while sick and home from school. It was an episode where a guy was, I think, cutting down a tree with a chainsaw then got distracted and ended up killing himself somehow. Either way for years I was convinced I'd imagined this show while ill then as a young adult I was flipping through tv and came across this show. My mind was blown and my 5th favourite tv show was found.

[@Madkalibyr]

It kind of is Lolol Trisha Paytas was on it before

[@unclecreepy4185]

Most the the stories they tell are ways people died with made up back stories and lots of comedic embellishments.

[@locket-7714]

@@Not_An_EV same bro I used to watch this with my dad when I was home sick from school

[@SpearM3064]

@@unclecreepy4185 Right. Some of the deaths on the show are _completely_ made up, like "Titty Titty Boom Boom", where a woman on a flight home died after having the cheapest breast implants done. The implants (according to the show) expanded due to lack of air pressure and exploded. The Mythbusters actually took that one on, and determined that it couldn't happen. Other deaths are plausible but didn't happen, such as the violinist who wouldn't use her hands to block her fall, and broke her neck. I know a guy who is a professional violinist; he once told me explicitly that his hands are insured and he'd rather be blinded. In his words, "I can play without eyes, but not without my hands." A _very few_ deaths are actually true, like the lawyer who threw himself against the windows to show that they were unbreakable. Well... they were. The window popped out of its frame and didn't break until it hit the ground. Unfortunately, he also broke when he hit the ground. ;-D

[@P1X3LM4N]

My eye doctor claimed I had a lazy eye for a little when I was like 5. Then when I got older the doctor actually found metal shards in my eye from an accident and then said I probably actually have astigmatism. Had to do the whole eyepatch thing too was not fun.

[@bluepvp900]

I feel like you need a new eye doctor.

[@geekfreak2000]

Well, that went left real quick

[@P1X3LM4N]

@Manuela Montuori Lol yes

[@ORIONVIIXI]

I fell out of a window on the second story of my house when I was 3 and damaged a lot of nerves on the right side of my face and I also had to wear an eyepatch

[@P1X3LM4N]

@@ORIONVIIXI Yeah its those fragile early years having any sort of trauma or accident can have lifelong effects

[@Gilly_Star]

Definitely need more of these 1000 way to die vids with Tom.

[@Nobody-11B]

For sure. That show was hilarious.

[@geekfreak2000]

Agreed

[@camerabox1]

this show was so fun to watch and not let my parents know, tom doing more would be great

[@nalinea18]

As soon as I heard "powerful electromagnetic board", I knew what was going to happen to poor Nikolai. Let's just say the Soviets didn't have the best security standards. Sweat also has salts in it, making it much more conductive than mere water, which in turn made things even worse. Could they have done something safer? Absolutely! The very _least_ they could have done is coating the human pieces with rubber. The bottom could've still been uninsulated, making the machine able to read the board, but the human-touchy parts should have been insulated. Or they could've told Nikolai to wear rubber gloves. Or they could've had the machine just spitting out instructions and have humans move the pieces. Or they could've input Nikolai's moves to the machine and have it move Nikolai's pieces for him. So many easy ways to make the machine safer. A separate fun fact: the machine operator in the video tells Nikolai he can start, which means he should be playing with the white pieces. However he's shown playing with the black ones.

[@maggiem6209]

On the filming of this show, let's just say that this video alone proves that the team that made these segments had little oversight and did very little research. 😀

[@Sweet_Z_Official]

"Don't pity this fool!" One of my favorite lines from the Narrator!

[@ocifer]

Who actually decided a drug user saying “I’m all outta drugs here!” out loud was realistic?

[@MrMarvel1991]

Maybe if they were not that bright or in withdrawal

[@jayem4514]

I have a question relating the first video: Say the family witnessed the act and/or the kids. Could you sue them for trauma, stress, etc? If that death of the pet resulted in you missing work, and/or being fired?

[@WickedFamix]

I remember reading an old law book that brought up that topic. I believe you can

[@swhitson9633]

I have a lazy eye as well. Now I'm considering getting an eye patch too lol. Let us know if it works.

[@CaptainChard]

Do it! You have a genuine excuse to be a pirate! Also good luck with the treatment if you do get one 🏴‍☠️

[@theoneeyedone4786]

I had a lazy as a kid and the patch had corrected it. Never had that problem again.

[@doubtful_seer]

My mom had a mix of the patch plus surgery for her lazy eye and other eye issues when she was a kid. It definitely helps! Absolutely talk to your doctor first though, even just a phone call. I’d say it probably couldn’t hurt anything, but better safe than sorry.

[@SoloEcho]

Id look at the corner of the ceiling. Then trace the sim of the far corner to the nearest one next to me, back and forth. Helps when i have a blurry vision sometimes.

[@doubtful_seer]

@@theoneeyedone4786 your username and your comment give conflicting stories. lol

[@nopef1sh642]

This show fascinated me in that it showed me the dangers of everyday life. I’m glad you decided to analyze it from a legal perspective.

[@robbmitchell7846]

As a first time viewer I'm happy you're strengthening your eye. Glad you still have both!

[@celticlord88]

I see an injury trial lawyer with an eye patch, I'm not sure if you're good at your job or bad at your job.

[@notsam498]

Hey Tom! Hypothetical...Have people tried to make the argument that killing a pet had punitive damages instead of economic? If I lost wages because of emotional distress from someone killing my pet. Could it be argued that they could be held responsible for the lost wages and or distress?

[@geekfreak2000]

Probably not. You're sol

[@unclecreepy4185]

Your hypothetical has many hypotheticals based on how your pet died. Some states do allow you to sue for punitive damages if the death was a result of a crime. Most states don’t allow for emotional distress for negligence, however, if the death of your pet was done maliciously and/or in front of you for the purpose of causing you distress, you could be compensated for those actions. Vet bills are often considered for compensation, and if you showed you lost wages having to take your pet to the vet or care for it, you might get compensated for that. And if you incurred expenses seeking medical attention or psychological counseling for your distress, you could be compensated for that. But not of you just took days off work to cry or for future sad days.

[@attackchoper97]

It should be noted that, although all the deaths did happen to somebody, the details of the person are usually changed for the show to make you dislike them.

[@toomanymarys7355]

"Happened to someone" as in "someone once died of a TBI, so we will make up everything else."

[@TheManCalledDrHorse]

This show is godawful but I'm happy Ron Perlman has a steady paycheck going to him. P.S. Between the eyepatch and the wrist brace, you should start calling yourself the personally injured lawyer

[@SundayMourningLove]

'The Personally Injured Lawyer' 🤣🤣🤣 I love it!!!

[@nathanielhellewell]

As a vintage computer nerd, I can tell you that that is a tape drive from the 70s that should have been hooked up to a computer 5x it’s size.

[@andrewevenson2657]

I feel like since you work with catastrophic injuries, it would make sense if you could do a collab with Doctor Mike! He can describe the extent of the injuries and you can describe the legal ramifications lol.

[@bethisway]

This would also work with the videos showing refineries blowing up. Get a industrial worker to explain that side in great detail and Tom can explain the legalization.

[@andrewevenson2657]

@@bethisway that’s just as good an idea!

[@anotherspawn]

Yes definitely,!!

[@luizcastro5246]

hey attorney tom, could you make a video about how the brazilian supreme court keeps making up absurd interpretations of existing laws to essentialy make new laws even though they are not the legislative?

[@tennesseelegend4303]

Im not sure he covers laws in other countries, he is a U.S lawer.

[@the0ne809]

Whicu laws are the Brazilian supreme court making up?

[@luizcastro5246]

@@the0ne809 they made up a legal process where they essentially made it a crime to criticize the supreme court and ordered the preventative imprisonment of an influencer for ''threats to democracy'' which is what they are calling his critique of the supreme court. Point is, if they had to actually make their case legally in a fair court they would lose, because in brasil it isn't a crime to criticize the goverment.

[@M90thYou]

@@luizcastro5246 so you’re asking Tom to criticize Brazil’s Supreme Court for making it illegal for someone to criticize them?

[@Cappuccino_Rabbit]

Bro the U.S laws are different from brazil's We use Civil law, they use common law

[@tzisorey]

If a tree can "own itself" - can you sue the tree's ... i guess "estate" or something?

[@plaguedoctor917]

Civil side you can always attempt to sue for emotional damages, or you can try to have him charged with assault. You’d have to lie, but it wouldnt be hard to convince a court that he was shooting an unregistered weapon in a neighborhood when there was no danger

[@TheRealCptObvious1]

Eye patch makes you look like a badass. Dan Crenshaw made a career out of having an eye patch

[@someone9906]

I would imagine that there is no way the first dude could sue as the ladder (at least shown in the recreation) did not fail and only slipped slightly causing him to lose his balance and fall. As anyone who has been on any job site knows, you must maintain 3 points of contact on a ladder at all times (even tho no one does) which would prevent you from losing your balance as long as the ladder remains in place.

[@MinistryOfMagic_DoM]

Pirate Tom is back which means the knowledge hammer needs to be more piratey. Knowledge Cutlass?

[@nickalbrecht3833]

Knowlegde cannon!

[@ZachAdkinson]

2:33 What on earth!? You can absolutely file a civil suit against them, not to mention many states have laws against animal cruelty. If someone murders your pet, you can definitely take some kind of legal action against them. Trump signed into law "The Preventing Animal Cruelty and Torture Act (PACT)" which is a federal legislation against the intentional crushing, burning, drowning, suffocating, impalement or other serious harm to "living non-human mammals, birds, reptiles, or amphibians."

[@unclecreepy4185]

I think you missed the point of the comment. Committing a crime can result in legal punishment in the criminal courts. You can also take civil action for compensation (although the criminal courts will often order restitution). But in most cases, you only get compensation for the value of what you paid for the animal or its replacement. Unlike killing a person, there’s no “economic value” put on a pet. Meaning if my pet is killed (or say a case of vet malpractice), I can’t sue for hundreds of thousands or millions of dollars like someone could if their spouse was killed. Because that money represents future earnings of the person. Whereas most animals/pets don’t earn an income. Those that do, you can sure for more than it’s replacement value. So if someone has killed a boarder collie, they’d owe a couple hundred dollars. But if they killed Lassie, then they’d owe whatever Lassie would have earned from being in the show and royalties and all that.

[@owoberon4947]

"Traumatic Brain Injuries are traumatic" Yes, the floor here is made of floor

[@ek1046]

just imagine walking outside as the boss lady, a shot goes off, and slightly misses... then the guy you just fired falls out of the tree! especially because she wasnt hurt, thats a hell of a unique story

[@VieneLea]

Thank you for inspiring me to seek help with my lazy eye that month+ ago! I can't believe how well the world looks in 3D!

[@Emilstekcor]

Oh this'll be interesting, but aren't most of these basically self inflicted?

[@kanenine5838]

I had to wear an eyepatch as a kid in kindergarten. Cool to see someone else rep one.

[@Skag_Sisyphus]

The sewage huffing rockstar doesn't have a case, but anyone who hears about his case should be able to sue for catastrophic brain injury.

[@malcolm3738]

It used to be so scary for me when I watched it young

[@Syenthros]

I used to love this show when I was a teenager. It was so bad it wrapped right back around to being hilarious.

[@atronrandom]

I’m loving this uptick of people in different careers making KZbin content around their work

[@Wyklepheph]

Thank you for skipping the portapotty one.. I was quite literally gagging and almost threw up. In which case you’d be talking to my lawyer ;)

[@dinsolasthemetalhead1923]

As a recovered meth head that lived in Provo it's so dumb it's not that hard to find drugs in Provo

[@toomanymarys7355]

Plus Provo is the pyramid scheme/sleazy MLM capital of the country.

[@PhilipCarroll64]

Exactly

[@maxwellgreen4439]

hahaha "No, Im done. Im done with this hypothetical."

[@sephondranzer]

Yo Tom is like Kakashi status here! He keeps his strong eye subdued and only releases his full vision when the task at hand needs it!!! The It-Depends-egan?

[@moonlitkitsune7638]

I love this~ I'm that coworker that sees evidence of breaking rules and think of what I would do to get away with what was obviously done (in my opinion because I saw nothing).

[@aaronbrown8377]

Wouldn't maliciously killing the dog count as not only animal cruelty but also destruction of property?

[@TheStillWalkin]

But when someone kills your dog, can't you sue for emotional stress/damage?

[@RobRamirez456]

As someone who has has a lazy (I have surgery every 10 years). I love your confidence to still post videos

[@McKeelix]

These stories are sometimes made up (outside of the actual deaths themselves) in order to make the victim unsympathetic to the watcher. I remember learning one episode in particular substituted a fictional middle-aged scumbag in place of a very real six year-old girl who got eviscerated by a jacuzzi pump intake. And like, I get that the show would be deeply upsetting if it didn't invent a karmic retribution narrative, but. I dunno, I guess the knowledge that any one of the deaths here could very well be something like that just kind of kills the mood. My brain just spends the whole episode going, "hey man, you see how that scammer lady just got suffocated by a pool tarp? what if that actually was based on the death of some innocent person? what if that was actually a kid that wandered off at a family reunion? what if that kid looked like your little brother? would that be fucked up or what?"

[@ItsJustMe0585]

Omg... 500 workplace shootings a year is super depressing. Just found your channel. Def gonna sub. I like your Moxy. :)

[@noel9568]

Wait til attorney tom realises that he can wear sunglasses while recording so that people don't make fun of him for a lazy eye or pirate tom.... He'll be cool tom! ...Oh well!

[@badeend1990]

Where's the fun of that? Now he can sue bullies for defamation if they say he's a pirate.

[@noel9568]

@@badeend1990 yeah but what about cool tom... I like cool tom!

[@noel9568]

He's nice and shady

[@duplexlamp7285]

Tom with eye patch looks cool plus it's one of his multiple personalities

[@charlesrense5199]

Yeah, there's no way we could make fun of ol Cory Hart over there wearing his sunglasses at night so he can so he can fix his lazy eye without anyone noticing. You're right, that would be impossible to make fun of.

[@HazyWrites]

I don’t know why but a lawyer with an eyepatch saying “F in the chat” makes me happy.

[@lukepotosky7710]

Poor Ralph. I can almost see why he did it. Our neighbor's dogs are the same way, but they are so vicious but they were able to take down a fenceboard then try to attack a kid whom was 8/9 at the time. We had to use a bat to even be able to walk outside into the yard.

[@sarahamira5732]

There's a difference between a dog being a danger to people and children and killing a dog because it's interrupting your sports game, though

[@zimmygirl777]

Ralph killed a dog because it was annoying. He killed it because it wouldn’t stop barking. That’s like threatening to sue someone for farting too loud. Ralph had it coming.😾🐶

[@benzelwasington4059]

Like seriously ? If you can relate to ralph something’s wrong with you

[@zimmygirl777]

@@benzelwasington4059 I hope Ralph gets reincarnated as a dog and adopted by someone who abuses him so he knows what it's like and how it feels being a helpless animal who can't tell them to stop. To be fair, he deserves it. Reincarnation as a dog and adopted by someone who abuses him.😼🐶

[@Thedarkbunnyrabbit]

I have a strong suspicion the reason Nikolai was sweating was not because of how hard he was playing - though I'm sure he was playing hard - he was sweating because of those incredibly powerful stage lights over the board and him.

[@crazycherokee8552]

This is the most nostalgia Pirate Tom has ever had in a single video....1000 Ways to die and Manswers were my 2 favorite shows as a preteen, and the most memorable way to die for me was the woman who got cheap breast implants then took a flight across the country to LA but her implants turned into breast-bombs

[@Lawrence330]

Manswers was a laughably inaccurate show. Sure, it's entertainment, but if you're going to even loosely insinuate factual accuracy, you should find some. One episode that I remember perpetuated the myth that consuming dietary fat makes you fat, and therefore beer cannot make you fat. Not only is beer loaded with carbs and, of course, alcohol, both of which contain calories, but cirrhosis and other liver diseases often cause the abdomen to swell into the famous "beer belly." I stopped watching, assuming that the rest of the "answers" would be equally worthless. Too bad, it could have been actual "edutainment" had they hired better researchers.

[@crazycherokee8552]

@@Lawrence330 I'm not sure anyone with any real scientific knowledge or common sense took much of what was on that show seriously. There were plenty episodes that had relatable jokes that only guys would fully understand, and plenty of dad jokes intertwined, but I never really took any of the "facts" seriously because they never made a lot of sense. Granted I have a bad habit of over analyzing damn near everything, but it still made me laugh a lot and my teenage years weren't great so having a show that came on at the same time almost every day meant having something enjoyable to look forward to.

[@Dreams_Of_Lavender]

The two scenarios I remember from this show best are 1: Where a guy had slipped in the bathroom and broken his toilet tank lid, sitting down on one of the pieces and cutting a major artery causing him to bleed out. 2: A farting contest where a girl had decided that she'd just spray all of the gas from a can of whipped cream up her butt to give it more air, but ended up cryogenically freezing her intestines and dying.

[@filthyweeb3912]

1: where a chick saw a hot guy got his number then tried to practice the art of fellatio with a cucumber ultimately she stepped on a shovel and it smacked the cucumber down her throat. 2. Fart competition eats a massive amount of beans has his friend lite up his farts until he ultimately catches him on fire Those are the ones I remember as a kid

[@ethanverdin7451]

I watch almost all of your videos Tom. I am a big fan. Please do more reaction videos to “1000 ways to die” this was (in my humble opinion) the most entertaining video you’ve ever uploaded, followed by your USCSB react videos. You’ve also already came up with an extremely interesting and funny title for these videos if you continue to make a series of them , which was "1000 ways to sue". So please continue on to making a series of react videos to this series . Please, Please, Please, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!

[@lizb680]

I’m guessing the rocker was passing through Provo to get to a performance in Salt Lake City

[@bryanhall9230]

I loved a thousand ways to die, was great to watch lol.

[@justsayin1991]

As someone who lives very close to Provo, I can say that oddly enough it's pretty drug infested. Guess the "rocker" just didn't know where to look lol

[@davidodonovan1699]

Tom: "definitely, definitely, a lawsuit" USSR: Lines Tom up against a wall and shoots him. IE, standard, real life communist procedure for dealing with enemies of the state.

[@johnobrien2055]

It's almost like we should have an award for this. For chlorinating the gene pool. Maybe naming it after an observer of adaptation or lack thereof.

[@fatmanchew909]

Objection!!!!: in Russia the Kremlin sues Nicholi for being design defect and damaging state property. Estate also liable for Nicholi's unauthorized use of electricity.

[@PeytonOver]

"500 workplace shootings?!" Thats out of a population of 370,000,000 people. Every one is a travesty but they're extremely rare.

[@toomanymarys7355]

That includes all the convenience store employees who get shot when held up.

[@Regulardryad]

I looked up the chess player story. All I could find for a source was a tabloid bit under some lady being pregnant for 22 months. 1000 ways to die seems like it's a bit trash.

[@John-Perry]

There were definitely a lot of fake stories they threw in for entertainment value. The chess robot was named Deep Blue, and it didn't kill it's opponent (which is actually the guy Tom mentioned meeting in the video), well, not literally.

[@enlightenerofcryptozoology8761]

One 1000 ways to die episode scenario that could be a lawsuit is the dodgeball one where the jock gets killed by a rusted and worn down fire extinguisher when he tried to spray it. As the pressure cap connecting to the hose and nozzle was rusted and couldn’t take the pressurized gas that propels the flame retardant contents, resulting in it blowing off the pressure top which imbedded into his chest. In potentially a lawsuit on the school or college institution for not regular inspection of their fire extinguishers in case of emergencies and safety usage. Making a case that this would not have happened if the school or academic institution took to making sure their emergency tools and equipment like fire extinguishers were functional and not showing signs of failure to use and or worst case to the person using it.

[@cldomed550]

This show traumatized me…looking back at it I had one of the hardest laughs in my life. Until I saw a million ways to die in the west.

[@NIKNAK1]

theyre so effin clever! I love the play on words at the end! absolutely love this show LMDAO

[@animevforvendetta9812]

Mr pirate lawyer is back (just a joke

[@internet4861]

He’s keeping the one eye adjusted to the dark for when he goes and visits his “friends” tied up in the basement…

[@jman217]

Definitely sounds like we need to start considering changing the laws regarding injury to pets. 👍

[@hammerarmament]

I had to do the same pirate thing for my eyes as a kid.

[@davidquinn2382]

Thats a crazy single bolt action rifle lol

[@sammy13ificationable]

I imagine it varies from state to state, but there are laws against killing pets, they dont hold a $0 value unless they're on the suspects property or damaging said property. If the animal is on YOUR property, and they kill it, they go to prison for animal abuse. If the animal is on THEIR property, either domestic OR wild, and they kill in an "inhumane" manner (torture) they go to prison for animal cruelty AND abuse. That's law as described to my parents in the state of Missouri when inquiring to a lawyer about our neighbors who poisoned our dog and used its carcass as target practice.

[@TheOfficial42]

I had a Traumatic Brain Injury in 3rd grade that was really really bad, but I never got it checked out. I had fallen off the the top of the playground set head first. I only remember the fall and the insane ringing, insane emotions and blurry vision right after.

[@SuperSailorOutlawGeorgeIshaq]

I would hate my life if I've ever found myself on the receiving end of a Slingshot attack

[@deadlikedisco4726]

"Fudge sludge" is one of the most foul phrases I've heard in a while. I want to sue for the visual that created.

[@dustinleask4252]

You should do more of these they are awesome, my favorite segment for sure

[@giorgitsiklauri1283]

In the case of the chess electrocution there was actually a criminal trial, not against the inventor as one would expect, but against the computer itself. The authorities believed the computer had gained some sort of sentience and electrocuted the player to not lose, these are two quotes from the investigator: "The computer was programmed to win at chess and when it couldn’t do that legitimately, it killed its opponent,” “It might sound ridiculous to bring a machine to trial for murder. But a machine that can solve problems and think [sic] faster than any human must be held accountable for its actions.”

[@silversugar2140]

Reminds me of a story I heard where someone in ancient times got so ticked at a rival that he tried to destroy a statue of him and was killed by it falling on him. They took the statue to court and convicted it of murder! I wish I knew more to get the details right but hopefully still amusing.

[@kidathlete]

Nice, was binging quite a few vids and a new one pops up. Thank the editor overlords

[@supermanawesome1200]

When Tom said he has a signed chess board Me: nnnnnnneeeeeerrrdddd!!!

[@joelcerda7594]

ahhh 1000 ways to die brings me back to middle school, keep doing these vids please

[@star22sally67]

Oh I remember this show! There was one were a lady was in this depressurize machine since she came up from diving too fast, but an employee didn't know she was there and just emptied the pressure in the tank. She blew up.

[@ShadowTeddieYT]

I remember this one where a dad didnt like his daughters boyfriend so he decided to scare him with blanks and after scaring him the father was like "see nothing to worry about sweety" and put it up to his head and pulled the trigger and died from a blank, atleast i think thats how it went, only the blank killing him part is what i fully remember

[@FBCxUNKNOWN]

When your catastrophic injury lawyer shows up with a wrist brace and eyepatch you know you’re in good hands...hand

[@artrosas9309]

That chessboard is a bigger flex than the law degree

[@FatCatFeatures]

4:43 my attic ladder had a breaking woodframe I live in constant fear of this happening when I use it

[@stephanieblair]

I love the eye patch! My daughter had to wear one and she hated it. Way to rep the pirates! ❤️🏴‍☠️

[@afro_snake6458]

My brother got a tbi, he's missing a 1/3 of his brain from when his bio dad threw him at the wall like a damn football, after dhs failed to do checkups

[@maniczzz]

hope you don’t mind if i ask, but that wrist brace looks really comfortable. what style is it / where did you get it ? i need a new one

[@RevelsInTheGeekness]

I’m not for animal murder, but I also don’t agree with letting dogs just bark their heads off! Control your pet!

[@bob999yaitis]

Ralph probably didn't even kill a dog they just don't want us 2 feel bad

[@jedstanaland2897]

I know that you can get a fairly decent settlement on a wrongful death of a pet from criminal cases the pets don't even have to be yours.

[@dyingchristmaslights6241]

You look like if the villain of the first season of umbrella academy had survived.

[@uraxii2944]

The robot found a winning move at least.