Inspiration porn and the objectification of disability: Stella Young at TEDxSydney 2014

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@pikiwiki
@pikiwiki 10 жыл бұрын
"no amount of smiling at a flight of stairs has ever turned it in to a ramp. Ever." These words are powerful and true. Apply in all sorts of situations
@susanwilliams2392
@susanwilliams2392 3 жыл бұрын
Seven years later, still true. I tested it, being possitive in a bookshop still doesn't turn the books into braille. Sigh
@ohokay4663
@ohokay4663 2 жыл бұрын
I always hated the saying "the only disability is a bad attitude". Okay, firstly... with emotional dysfunction being a symptom of autism, a bad attitude sort of IS part of my disability. But secondly, My life is one sensory hellscape after another- by no fuckin fault of my own, because I almost never have sensory meltdowns at home. My dishes are wood and plastic and silicon, all my blankets are sherpa, my room is almost always the right temperature, the lights are dimmed and the bulbs are warm, and I eat foods that dont make my tongue feel like I just put a live bee in my mouth. It's the parts of the world I can't control that ruin my attitude- metal forks and ceramic plates, bright blue lights and cotton-polyester and velcro and nothing but noise and it's always too god damn warm. If half the sensations in the world are going to try and hurt me personally, despite my very best efforts, I'm not exactly gonna be great at keeping my chin up. Imagine if there was always construction outside your work place, and all the spoons were made of sharp rocks and the clothes were sandpaper and the lights were strobing and half the fruit in the world was rotten. Youd LOSE YOUR MIND.
@pikiwiki
@pikiwiki 2 жыл бұрын
​@@ohokay4663 I wonder if "losing your mind" is a euphemism for "finding another dimension." Or something. Not sure
@Me-eg5rr
@Me-eg5rr 2 жыл бұрын
You obviously have no idea what you are talking about. It is interesting that you care enough to even be concerned about what the subject is even doing. I suggest getting your own life to get interested in.
@pikiwiki
@pikiwiki 2 жыл бұрын
@@Me-eg5rr Why thank you for offering an opinion of what I should do with my life. I appreciate it. While you are dwelling on these topics, perhaps you can offer an opinion on how smiling at obstacles can affect them
@zdmgordon8052
@zdmgordon8052 8 жыл бұрын
It's really funny looking through these comments and seeing disabled people say 'fucking spot on, i've had this experience', and then seeing non-disabled people argue how, it's meant to be a good thing and its not meant to be offensive or annoying, how holding disabled people up as props of inspiration is a good thing. Folks, if the people you're talking about are telling you that what you're doing is harmful to them, it's a good idea to listen.
@ariannacolonello7028
@ariannacolonello7028 7 жыл бұрын
hi, i think that people with disabilities are inspiration for others, because many peole with disabilities limit their life, others decide to have a normal life. The second roup will help the first to estalblish a real social change
@sypherd.3771
@sypherd.3771 7 жыл бұрын
Arianna Colonello i think you're missing the point because you're still looking at it from your perspective. It may be inspiring to you to see a disabled person living a "normal" life. But from what she's saying, it seems as though she finds it offensive that her living her everyday normal life should somehow be perceived as an act of courage or bravery just because others feel like she's less fortunate than they are. In other words when someone walks up and says I think you're such an inspiration, essentially what they are saying is "wow. What an incredible obstacle you have to overcome everyday bc of all of your disadvantages. This makes me feel much better about my life." I honestly had never considered that before watching this, but listening to her, I can certainly see how insulted that could make a person feel. Obviously, ppl r different and we all have our preferences, but this was an eye opener for me.
@pineapple0310
@pineapple0310 6 жыл бұрын
Arianna, i would just like to correct you on your comment that "...many people with disabilities limit their life..." in fact it is not the disabled person who has limited his or her life, it is society and the able persons who have limited the lives of disabled persons. We construct buildings that are inaccessible (not all buildings have ramps or elevators), we limit access to public schools, either by segregating children with disabilities into their own "special ed" class or by putting up roadblocks after roadblocks and requiring persons with disabilities to fight and prove the necessities needed to complete their education. We are the ones who limit a person with disability by the simple assumptions that they do not need to have the same amount of education as we do since "most will probably not be able to work." It is a sad reality, but a reality indeed. I would recommend a video that is actually quite old, yet still shows the struggle that disabled persons must go through because of us non disabled persons, it is called "Freedom Machines" This documentary will give you a glimpse of everyday struggles put forth by the non disabled society.
@francaperotti5934
@francaperotti5934 5 жыл бұрын
@@ariannacolonello7028 I am a disabled person and NOT AN INSPIRATION I GET ON WITH M6 LIFE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE
@cloverblossomed7989
@cloverblossomed7989 3 жыл бұрын
It is amazing what people will choose to see if they can circumvent their feelings of shame, embarrassment, and unwillingness to change when told they've done/believed something wrong.
@tilywinn
@tilywinn 10 жыл бұрын
When Stella was talking about how looking at 'inspiration porn' and saying 'it could be worse, I could be that person', it just hit home to me how insulting that is on so many levels. It is only further propagating the bullshit that says having a disability makes you less, a person with a terrible, pitiful life. Not only is inspiration porn objectifying and insulting, it further delegitimizes the struggle those of us with mental disabilities go through. The message it says is "oh, you can't complain/you don't have _real_ problems, you're not even missing a limb!"
@Purrpussful
@Purrpussful 10 жыл бұрын
I have psychiatric disorders that have disabled me since I was a teenager, so I really appreciate your comment. My husband, who is physically disabled, and I were actually refused desperately needed food assistance through our church because I can walk, talk, see, hear, and express myself in an articulate manner so our minister thought there was no reason why I couldn't work. I tried to explain that my psychiatric conditions profoundly affect my ability to interact with others, and he replied that I should still be able to get a job where I didn't have to - as though a job would be magically handed to me and I'd receive skills training and supervision from creatures of myth and legend instead of having to be interviewed, hired, trained, and supervised by PEOPLE (eyeroll)!!
@DeathnoteBB
@DeathnoteBB Жыл бұрын
@@PurrpussfulSeriously people just go “Well surely you’ll find a job out of the ether!”
@andreashettle2885
@andreashettle2885 10 жыл бұрын
As a deaf person, I am really frustrated and disappointed that this video does not have properly done captions. It only has the automated captions which I never bother with because those are generally really awful. Deaf people, too, get told we are "inspirational" for doing all sorts of things that have nothing to do with our disability. So I would really be interested in hearing another woman's perspective on all this and wish I could watch this video. PLEASE put CAPTIONS on this video. It is disturbing that a presentation by a disabled woman on an issue that impacts all people with all disabilities has not already been captioned.
@CherylGreen
@CherylGreen 10 жыл бұрын
I have never been able to understand why captioning is so easily ignored. I caption every single film I put online, even if it is 7 seconds long and no one will watch it. We need to complain to TEDx.
@JSherwoodPPmag
@JSherwoodPPmag 10 жыл бұрын
8chan.co Just checked out that link. Those are the same horrible auto captions.
@andreashettle2885
@andreashettle2885 10 жыл бұрын
Glad you're working on that, that's as it should be and I look forward to a day when this is all routine. One thing that would help would be for ALL releases of a video to have accessibility features. Don't make deaf people go hunting for the accessible version. Or if you think you really do have a good reason to make us wait or make us go hunt for it, at least COMMUNICATE about it so we know it's coming or know where to find it. Don't keep making us do all the work of asking where the captions are or figuring out how to find these things. We shouldn't have to keep putting in so much more time and effort than hearing people to access the same things.
@CherylGreen
@CherylGreen 10 жыл бұрын
That's a very good point, Gwen! I think what's most important is to provide access so that folks who require access don't have to work harder than people who don't require it. People with disabilities and Deaf people are too often expected to ask and ask and ask.
@andreashettle2885
@andreashettle2885 10 жыл бұрын
Cheryl Green Exactly, Cheryl Green (I think you may have been trying to reply to me, not Gwen?). Forcing people with disabilities or Deaf/deaf/HOH people to always have to do all the leg work of finding where the accessible version has been hidden or whether it even exists is in and of itself effectively an accessibility barrier. If you constructed a building so that every person who wishes to enter first needed to walk all the way around the block and back again before they can approach the front door, most people would be really annoyed even if they were eventually still able to get in. Which is one reason why front entrances for public buildings usually face the street/sidewalk and have minimal or no obstructions between the street/sidewalk and the entrance. But people with disabilities are constantly expected to have to do the equivalent of making a three mile detour to enter the same entrance that everyone else can enter in a more direct and simple manner. When a video is propagated to multiple sites (such as the Ted site and KZbin and where ever else) and only some of those videos have captions and some do not, then this is the equivalent of making some deaf people (depending on where they first stumble across the video) have to take a three mile hike out of their way to find the captioned version of the video. And that's not fair or right. Delaying captions for weeks after everyone else has had a chance to see a video, or haphazardly allowing captions on only some of the platforms via which the video is available and not others, is still unequal treatment for deaf people. I'm hoping TED will realize that and address this issue.
@JayVBear45
@JayVBear45 9 жыл бұрын
I saw this video before she had died and it made me laugh my ass off! I had been a "Special Education" teacher for 20 plus years and got tired of hearing how "patient" I must be to work with "those" children. I will miss you, Stella, give 'em hell where ever you may be!
@translarrybutz
@translarrybutz 4 жыл бұрын
I feel like more paitence is needed for teaching nondisabled children Disabled children usually have to work harder to reach expectations due to the fact that they live in a world not made for them, and many nondisabled children don't face that level of hardship and thus take things for granted I wish it wasn't the case, but the diffuculties disabled people face can made them nicer and more empathetic (not all disabled people, some are pricks whilst some nondisabled people are nice and empathetic) than the nondisabled population
@adrianghandtchi1562
@adrianghandtchi1562 4 жыл бұрын
She died?
@kjohnson2884
@kjohnson2884 4 жыл бұрын
@@adrianghandtchi1562 She did die, yes.
@TheaterRaven
@TheaterRaven 10 жыл бұрын
Wow. As someone with a disability (visually impaired), I've never heard these sentiments so perfectly expressed. Whenever someone finds me "inspiring" or wants to offer a healing/pitying prayer, I answer this: "Find me inspiring or pray for me because I'm a human being, not because you see me with my white cane and think I'm the token blind girl you can use to make yourself look good or feel better".
@susanwilliams2392
@susanwilliams2392 7 жыл бұрын
Also vision impaired here, among other disabilities. I am sick of getting admired, pitied, and prayed for too. If they have to pray for something, why not pray for more than 10% of books to be accessible, and then go out and make it happen.
@rhondahoward8025
@rhondahoward8025 2 жыл бұрын
The more and more I hear religious people open their mouth, the more and more I'm drawn away from them!
@gangurogeisha
@gangurogeisha 2 жыл бұрын
@@rhondahoward8025 Me too.
@mcrfan343
@mcrfan343 2 жыл бұрын
As a Christian I never really prayed for anybody for being disabled, nor have I found anybody inspirational just for being disabled (been a few that I wanted to slap in the face though). As someone with ADD, nearsightedness and asthma, life is a bit more difficult but it's nothing to be pitied over.
@DrBliss23
@DrBliss23 9 жыл бұрын
I'm not being sarcastic or ironic when I say this, but I found this talk very inspiring. I've been objectified, and was dumbfounded by people's reaction to my disability. Inspiration Porn is the BEST way to catagorise what we go through.
@ozwelshcobs65
@ozwelshcobs65 10 жыл бұрын
I have been telling people for years that people with disabilities do not exist to give opportunity to people without to feel good by helping them. Stella is a hell of a woman and I am glad she is out there saying this.
@Jazeraussiecrazed
@Jazeraussiecrazed 10 жыл бұрын
RIP Stella Young. This TEDxTalk is my absolute favorite. When I watch this, it feels like you're still with us but in reality we've lost our strongest voices in Australia's disability community. :(
@crouchingidiot
@crouchingidiot 3 жыл бұрын
this almost made me cry because it really spoke to me as an autistic person. it was so beautiful and- to simply put it- true. so, so very true
@returnoftheredeye
@returnoftheredeye 10 жыл бұрын
I nearly applauded all by myself at my laptop screen. Brilliant.
@harmanbinning3708
@harmanbinning3708 3 жыл бұрын
Nobody cares lmao
@samhandwhich743
@samhandwhich743 2 жыл бұрын
@@harmanbinning3708 yet you still commented. 💪
@GrannyGamer1
@GrannyGamer1 10 жыл бұрын
absolutely right on the money. And, when we're not objects of inspiration, we're used as cautionary tales about "laziness, bad attitude, self-indulgence, etc."
@Shaxigaming
@Shaxigaming 9 жыл бұрын
I have the same disability that Stella does (or so I think anyway. 99% sure) and I have to say this spot fucking on. A few years ago I was heavily into gaming and ran a Twitch stream. People donated hundreds of dollars to me because I was disabled. I've had people approach me downtown saying they're praying for me. Yep, that's gonna help. I seriously agree that we, and by we I mean every single on, are far more disabled by the society around us that we'll ever be by any diagnosis. It's the same reason we have charities around. So people can feel good about themselves. Inspiration is about the same thing, to the tee.
@sirdashwood
@sirdashwood 10 жыл бұрын
I was lucky enough to be there for this talk and it's stuck with me since, as I'm sure it did for everyone else present and who's watched this video. RIP Stella.
@uniquelythesameinc
@uniquelythesameinc 9 жыл бұрын
Modern societies flock to inspirational stories - particularly when they involve rising above difficulties. At the same time, we shun differences. So we like to categorize people affected by disability as either hero objects (I love Stella's term "inspiration porn") or objects of pity. There is a still a great need to learn to appreciate the small sparks within each of us. This is where you and I must grow. These sparks in each of us, can combine to start a bonfire. (join the cause)
@sindyyfung
@sindyyfung 3 жыл бұрын
wow really well put
@siekreischte
@siekreischte 8 жыл бұрын
The way disabled people are often portrayed like in documentaries seems strange to me. It feels manifactured to convey one established story, with an 'inspirational message'. But real people don't fit into one frame.
@BruceBromley
@BruceBromley 6 жыл бұрын
I link this video to so many "inspirational" posts on Linkedin & Facebook to educate (not criticise) people into looking at disability in another way. RIP Stella!
@Leelz247
@Leelz247 3 жыл бұрын
I'm glad people are getting this now because it always creeped me out how people had this patronizing attitude towards people with visible disabilities instead of just treating them like a person.
@miltoPM
@miltoPM 10 жыл бұрын
RIP, she'll always be in our hearts. :'(
@wow.wow.wow.5491
@wow.wow.wow.5491 4 жыл бұрын
I'M not inspired that Stella has a disability, i am inspired that she talks about it, and educates other people about it.
@dochka
@dochka 8 ай бұрын
When I was a child and was going through horrific surgeries as a result of my disability, it always distressed me when people called me brave, and I couldn't quite put it into words. My mother would say that they called me brave as a way of distancing themselves from what was happening - as a way of comforting themselves that it would never happen to them, and that I was exceptional. It was like a mantra or a talisman - you are brave and experiencing these things, I am not brave so I will not. The funny thing is to me bravery implies a choice. What else was a disabled child supposed to do, lay down and die? I didn't ever know that was an option. There's a good quote going around, 'suffering doesn't make you a better person, it just makes you suffer'. People want to believe that it does, but it's a fool's comfort.
@Chiller-pc1dv
@Chiller-pc1dv 8 ай бұрын
It takes strength to keep fighting, but we have to be strong to live as disabled people in at least some way. We just wanna be seen as regular people, not some spectacle to be gawked at for simply living. So I get what you mean.
@mammoneymelon
@mammoneymelon 3 жыл бұрын
love seeing all my fellow disabled people having the same experience. it sucks that we're seen as literal objects but i am glad we're not alone
@juliettegivelas
@juliettegivelas 2 жыл бұрын
This is still one of the best TedTalks I have ever seen.
@1398go
@1398go Жыл бұрын
And its not because its inspirational. 😊
@tanr9104
@tanr9104 Жыл бұрын
Totally agree Juliette.
@MochaKimono
@MochaKimono 2 жыл бұрын
What abled folks often forget is that often the only thing separating them from disability is time. Wait long enough, and you're ALL down here with us sooner or later. ;)
@grahimmy
@grahimmy 10 жыл бұрын
Vale- Stella Young aged 32. Thank you Stella for opening peoples eyes and making this world just that little bit better. Your humour, wit and advocacy will be greatly missed. Bless. See ya on the flipside, crip.
@Emilyweasel2023
@Emilyweasel2023 5 жыл бұрын
She’s right. I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (hEDS if anyone’s interested) and I quite like it when my colleagues acknowledge that some days it sucks more than others and I did well to get up this morning and acknowledge the struggle. It is harder for me than it is other people so thanks for that and thank you for patience on bad days. But I am not brave, I did get a choice to live with it, no one with a disability does it just happens. So you have to just get on with it. Having said that the whole there is no disability in life except a bad attitude is complete bollocks. Sometimes bodies or organs or health in general fails or doesn’t work properly. It’s part of being human. A good attitude about it won’t fix my mangled connective tissues.
@rarmccoy
@rarmccoy 3 жыл бұрын
Zebra strong. 🦓💪🏻 hEDS here too, plus a host of other things. Completely agree with you, too. I've been sharing this video since it first came out (I work in the disability services/vocational rehabilitation field) and I even play it on my phone or computer sometimes for my clients (or more often, their family) who don't quite seem to understand the effects their words have on others, or who simply need to know that they are not alone, that they are heard, that others are out there like them, disabled by society moreso than from their own physical beings.
@racheljenkins8340
@racheljenkins8340 3 жыл бұрын
I remember in primary school having a man in a wheelchair come to my school to do a big inspirational speech (he had climbed mountains & all that jazz). Looking back now, that was so cringe-inducing. Even as a hard of hearing individual, I've seen so many people invalidate me & my experiences, including someone that stated that because I was hard of hearing, I should work with deaf people....
@AspieRider
@AspieRider 9 жыл бұрын
To think that it was only a year ago that we had confirmed reports of Stella Young passing away. This video still hits the nail on the head on so many levels. :(
@wendymartinturley6107
@wendymartinturley6107 10 жыл бұрын
so true. in my home 'disability' comes in many forms. our problems aren't overcoming life, but overcoming the surprise, shock and dismay people have when they realize that even though we have to do some things differently that we do things and expect things that are the same as them. 2 days ago a guy thought it was great I was helping my blind brother. "excuse me sir. that's my husband." he could not get over that my blinds husband had a wife and son...ooo..just like him. sorry but it still amazes me how people think everyone is equal until they encounter it. special isn't what we want. are want acceptance for who we are. if we need help we will ask. (my husband has been 'helped' away from me more than once by people thinking they are helping him, but they don't think that maybe it isn't helping his family by separating him from us. why? because they assume no one would want that commitment to 'responsibility') ??? it comes down to people figuring they need to let people with 'disabilities" have normal lives, just not where they can see them. because that would mean that they as 'normal' people are somehow failing. it's all that, "look if they can do it! why are you whining?" anyone for a guilt trip?
@SepherStar
@SepherStar 9 жыл бұрын
I understand that non-disabled people are well intended when they say things like "You're such an inspiration" but it makes me wonder if they fall to pieces like the apocalypse is coming when they get a cold.
@fairystride449
@fairystride449 4 жыл бұрын
I am not super close with anyone who has a disability, but I do have a cat with a missing hindfoot. It may seem irrelevant since he's an animal, but I constantly get similar remarks about him that people give to disabled people. They always say things like "awe your poor cat" or assumptions that he struggles or is a fighter. It kind of offends me in an odd way. He gets around just like any other cat, as if he isn't missing a foot. Or rather, that missing a foot is completely normal. It doesn't impede him in any way. The only struggle I think he has is not being able to scratch one side of his head with his hindfoot. Other than that, he can jump, walk, play, and do everything he needs/wants just fine.
@shelleymagnussen1959
@shelleymagnussen1959 3 жыл бұрын
I was in a greyhound station with my Seeing Eye dog awaiting my bus when this lady walked up to me. SHe said, "A gentleman and I were talking over there and I wasnt you to know we admire your courage. "Courabe?" I'm going down in history as a woman who sat in a bus station." I asked her, "Is there a bomb threat or something?"
@didz9381
@didz9381 3 жыл бұрын
Here after Tianasao's video about Sia's movie & ableism.. As a non-disabled person, it makes me realize that I tend to treat disabled people like "babies" if I can say that. I don't really have disabled people in my entourage but I know that I would be part of the people who will fall for inspirational pxrn & I feel bad.. I truly thought that highlighting things that disabled people do like non-disabled people was something positive for them to feel accepted like anyone else but it's clearly not... I will try my best to keep this speech in mind in the future. Thank you very much for this Stella Young, may you rest in peace.
@tilywinn
@tilywinn 10 жыл бұрын
Yes Stella, everyone needs to hear this message. I'm sure I've been guilty of it on occasion but I do my best to interact with people with disabilities as though they are normal, cause guess what, shock horror, they are normal! While I don't live with a physical disability, I do have a mental disability (severe OCD for those curious) and If I could say anything to the stranger who is staring at me funny when I'm being 'weird', its "don't worry, I'm normal". Even if my 'normal' is different to theirs, I don't consider myself on the outer, or as an 'other' to normal. Its ok to accept those who may be different to the statistically average person as a normal human being.
@francoischarih8278
@francoischarih8278 Жыл бұрын
This was so insightful and made me realize I am so clueless about the entire world of ableism and disability. I find the concept overlaps with that of microaggressions for minority groups. For example, me saying "Oh, it's so great that you are able to be so positive, happy and radiant in spite of your disability." is not that different from someone saying "You speak French very well." (when it is my native tongue) because I don't look like most French speakers in my country.
@memeju1ce
@memeju1ce Жыл бұрын
the best way for you to be an ally to the disability community is to listen to us with an open mind. your comment showed you are doing just that. thank you for taking a step back and looking at how much you know about ableism. i wish more folks would!
@stareyedwitch
@stareyedwitch 3 жыл бұрын
Tip for when you're having issues opening a jar: Put it top down in a bowl of warm to hot water and wait a couple of minutes. The heat will cause the metal to expand and loosen the lid.
@sdsures
@sdsures 10 жыл бұрын
I have cerebral palsy and use a mobility scooter, so in a sense my disability is both invisible (brain damage) and visible (because of the way I walk, and because of my scooter), so this hits home. I've been objectified, hugged, patted without consent, you name it.
@gryffindorpotterhead272
@gryffindorpotterhead272 8 жыл бұрын
Rest in peace Miss Stella Young!
@camelCased
@camelCased 10 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the video. I'm visually impaired. Actually, I like that people sometimes are amazed that I'm a pretty good programmer and am able to hold on to my job in these post-crisis years when so many - and so healthy and normal - people around me are unemployed. But I must admit that this is an egoistical feeling and it will harm me in long term, so I'd better stop feeling flattered. Yes, it was much harder for me to graduate university because I couldn't see anything on blackboards and I had to spend more time later finding transcripts of lectures and other learning materials, but it was my own fault, I was too shy to tell teachers that I have a problem and need some help. So, I don't need someone to feel sorry for me, I just need a helping hand sometimes and just a couple of "good job!" praises when I have really deserved them doing my work exceptionally well. This and nothing more.
@tamaraf2004
@tamaraf2004 10 жыл бұрын
To many opinions from people who have no idea. what she says is true! What person needs to hear that in there average day of living life, not only is it inappropriate but totally embarrassing. We need to create a society that is made up of equality. RIP Stella your legacy will live on!
@marciavaleriavaleria3402
@marciavaleriavaleria3402 3 жыл бұрын
To many opinions de People who have no Idea. What sabe says is t
@lkooper
@lkooper 2 жыл бұрын
I can't handle people who look at me with a visible disability and have nothing to say but "I admire you for getting out and going to work every day," which I do as a person, not as a disabled person. How about getting to know me as a person and leaving out the labels, "disabled" or otherwise. How about hanging out with me and doing things with me as another person?
@vampireheart85
@vampireheart85 10 жыл бұрын
I find it annoying and a bit patronizing when I get smiled at as the cute little girl in a wheelchair not like a man who finds a woman attractive and wants to flirt with her. That usually doesn't happen for a woman that has such a visual disability as me. Yet I get told I'm inspiring by people for just doing my everyday life and it really gets on my nerves,but I just smile it depends on my mood . One of the reasons I don't know if I should try dating again is my honesty I don't hide anything about myself including the wheelchair and I don't know if I could handle the rejection from that again.
@KoshVader
@KoshVader 10 жыл бұрын
Yeah, I often find that people think that if you have a crush on someone with a disability it means it's a fetish. Like when I was sixteen went through an obsessive phase with the Blizzard in The Penalty. He was musical, a very snappy dresser, had sexy hair, and a charm about him. My friends thought it was a fetish because he had no legs. I'm not even lying, they just couldn't get the concept of liking someone with a disability for who they were. However, there are many people who won't be put off by it so maybe giving up isn't the best way. Perhaps just instead of looking for someone to date maybe just enjoy the benefits of being single and if it's meant to happen it will. Trust me, there's too much pressure on people to date these day. Anyway, good luck! :)
@BekTatlun
@BekTatlun 10 жыл бұрын
KoshVader Well, the way I see it is that everything is a fetish. it's just that some people's fetish is more common that the other's.
@KoshVader
@KoshVader 10 жыл бұрын
Bek Tatlun Yes but just because you have a crush on someone with a disability it doesn't make it a fetish. If anything my fetish was more for the suit he was wearing. ;)
@BekTatlun
@BekTatlun 10 жыл бұрын
***** All I can say is that my definition of 'fetish' is completely different than what you just described.
@BekTatlun
@BekTatlun 10 жыл бұрын
***** yea true, I am not.
@feliciab2
@feliciab2 10 жыл бұрын
I'm so glad she brought up those ridiculous "inspirational" posters! In addition to objectifying people with a visible disabilty, I hate them because they also belittle people with invisible disabilities, such as Depression and Anxiety. Many people battle with these conditions daily, and these stupid ass posters, well meaning as they are, completely dismiss how much of a struggle it is for these people to overcome their "bad attitude" - but then we all know that, if you can't physically see someone's disability then it doesn't exist, right??). What people with "invisible" disabilities need is empathy, not preaching.
@maezeedays
@maezeedays 6 жыл бұрын
I would love to share this with my Deaf friends. REAL CAPTIONS PLEASE.
@viktorkurgan2910
@viktorkurgan2910 5 жыл бұрын
The captions are available now
@WHLCHR
@WHLCHR 7 жыл бұрын
I am about to receive an award from my university and I am in doubt whether or not that am I being offered this award because of my disability? I academically achieved a good grade but I think I am quite low key/profile. I will have to deliver an acceptance speech and I am trying my best not to copy the late Stella's words (Haha). I miss her, and her intellectual and interesting perspectives on different issues.
@Donteatacowman
@Donteatacowman 3 жыл бұрын
Very good video! I've seen gifs of it without knowing the full talk. I didn't know before today that a single person came up with this term! Before I learned better about disability, I still didn't like those motivational quotes. They seem to be like, "Look, this [object of inspiration p***] can do something harder than you've ever tried, so what is wrong with you, huh? Why are you so broken? Why is it so hard for you to do things that should be easy?" I guess that's a whole other topic tho.
@jao2312
@jao2312 10 жыл бұрын
R.I.P. Stella, you will be remembered. Thankyou for everything you did for the disabled(enabled) community.
@seekwisdom5102
@seekwisdom5102 9 жыл бұрын
Super funny and very intelligent lady. She is very right in all she said. I want that world she mentioned to.
@vstamats
@vstamats 5 жыл бұрын
Her humor and impressive articulation of this topic, how our able-body-oriented broken society is the harm not the physical disability is what makes her an exceptional speaker. Thank you for the laughter and enlightenment!
@two2fargone
@two2fargone 10 жыл бұрын
I agree. As an able bod, I feel very uncomfortable when people with disabilities are used to supposedly motivate me. Most of the time I do not even see a disability, I do not even see a wheelchair, just the person using it. I am not interested in the equipment, I am interested in the person who uses it. So I see this 'inspiration porn' as exploitative. I know images of people who just happen to have disabilities doing stuff was/is valid as any other people doing stuff, and showing it is both equitable and helps erase the images people have of people with disabilities sitting in a room staring at walls all day. But when corporations print these images with cutesy slogans to get me to make widgets faster or ignore the pain from their lousy office furniture, then I reckon we are all getting exploited.
@cyprel
@cyprel 3 жыл бұрын
This was definitely one of the best TEDtalks I've seen in that it changed my perspective. But I also have to say something from another point of view. When I think of a disabled person as an inspiration, it has nothing to do with thinking 'well, at least my life is not THAT bad', and everything to do with finding inspiration in the human capacity to get through any adversity, which gives you hope and motivation that you, too, will find a way to deal with any set-backs. People who are inspiring are, almost by definition, also people who have had to overcome difficulties. I understand that there is something problematic about giving an achievement award to a disabled person just for being able to live a normal life. At the same time, as a teacher, I might compliment the student with ADD/dyslexia who got a B while I might not compliment the student from a well-off background who got an A, because I understand how hard it is for that first student to *get* there and that for him, getting to that level meant he has worked extra hard. I compliment the process, not the result.
@rhondahoward8025
@rhondahoward8025 2 жыл бұрын
That kind of attitude is perfectly fine! What we hate is that internalized superiority.
@fabplays6559
@fabplays6559 2 жыл бұрын
Personally, I feel you should still compliment the well-off student for getting the A! ^^ An A is an extremely impressive grade regardless of someone's background.
@viktorkurgan2910
@viktorkurgan2910 5 жыл бұрын
The captions are available now. Enjoy!
@KelliViti
@KelliViti 9 жыл бұрын
RIP Stella, you will be missed.
@ParaTara
@ParaTara 3 жыл бұрын
She ate this.
@memeju1ce
@memeju1ce Жыл бұрын
imagine trying to explain this comment to someone like 10 years ago lol
@86Smally
@86Smally 2 жыл бұрын
Am disabled physically from several injuries which turned out worse into severe chronic pain, i very very rarely even leave my house because of 1) am in pain 24/7 2) which is probably worse am terrified of bumping into someone I know from my past and I am ashamed and embarrassed of what I have become. I had several different friend groups like football friends, drinking friends, work friends, local friends where I live and the friends from when I was younger so probably around 40 to 50 very good mates if not more. When I became disabled EVERY SINGLE One of my friends abandoned me completely cut me out their lives not even the odd text like hey how are you. This has been more damaging to my life than any physical disability will cause me. I was the type of person who would always do anything for any of my friends including jumping into a fight were one of them was being beaten up by 6 people I done this full well knowing I too would get beat up but he was my friend so I would of done this for any of my friends (this caused one of my injuries not the disabling one but a broken arm and wrist that still hurts from 10 years ago due to nerve damage). Even my own brother abandoned me we grew up close. The mental pain caused is probably worse.
@MyDuckSaysFucc
@MyDuckSaysFucc 2 жыл бұрын
I have chronic pain too and there is no “inspiring” spin. Just pain and misery. Try to get some sort of pain management if you can, medication, physical therapy and exercise help me.
@krisrhood2127
@krisrhood2127 Жыл бұрын
Your so called friends aren't worth it
@iamshunaji
@iamshunaji 3 жыл бұрын
I've never had this specific experience, but I've been told I'm so well spoken (I speak...grammatical?), or great for doing a certain degree (loads of people do it). It's so transparent. Inspiration isn't it...I just appreciate how much emotional resilience is necessary to navigate this world as part of a minority, oppressed or underrepresented group.
@sindyyfung
@sindyyfung 3 жыл бұрын
That sounds really frustrating indeed... I m wondering if it is okay to find people with disabilities inspiring, if they themselves have struggled with something for a long time ( e. g. brushing their teeth)? I suppose if a person with disabilities is proud of their own achievements, even if it is something that others would see as ordinary, it would be okay to find them inspirational for their perseverance? I'm really sorry if this comes off in a wrong way or anything
@IlaughedIcried
@IlaughedIcried 7 жыл бұрын
I HATE SO MUCH that Stella passed away. AUUUGH! SO FREAKING smart and funny and confident and well-spoken. I'd only just discovered all her essays and activism work when I found out she'd died. :'(
@petertubeyvolunteebristolb5360
@petertubeyvolunteebristolb5360 8 жыл бұрын
we are real people with a got different needs and not all will not all disability people on wheelchairs
@Rabbitthat
@Rabbitthat 8 жыл бұрын
If I had a choice between losing a friend or losing my legs I'd lose my legs. But if I lost a friend no one would see how strong I was for keeping going and congratulate me. If I lost my legs everybody would see my pain and find me inspirational, because my pain would be VISIBLE. If you could see the agony people are going through and continuing... it IS inspirational, it really is. That goes for all kinds of pain and disadvantage, whether it is physical or psychological or both. I am not thinking "I'm glad I'm not that person" or anything of the sort. I am thinking how life is shitty all round and humans persevere all round.
@aboutfeddy
@aboutfeddy 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for educating me, so many things I had no idea about. Yes, good intentions and no offence meaning, but that's just from an "able" point of view, a self centred point of view on someone else. Food for the mind, thank you.
@olliecantos7933
@olliecantos7933 9 жыл бұрын
Stella Young is absolutely right! Her message is spot on! My new goal is someday to meet her, not because she is some sort of inspirational person with a disability, but because she is conveying the kind of empowering philosophy that shouts to the world that we as members of the disability community must not be objectified (however unintentionally) but instead should be judged by our real achievements. She is right that no amount of smiling by a wheelchair user at the bottom of a flight of stairs has ever resulted in those stairs magically transforming into a ramp. No degree of positive attitude in the middle of a library has ever transformed those books into Braille. True indeed! Let us strive hard for a world in which we are judged by equal expectations rather than being thought of as "exceptional" for doing the ordinary! Let us celebrate achievement when it is warranted as truly extraordinary in and of itself, regardless of whether one has a disability or not! #StellaYoung, MORE POWER TO YOU, STELLA! Because of the message you have spread to millions, you have set into motion new transformational possibilities! #ADA25
@xfortunesquex
@xfortunesquex 9 жыл бұрын
Ollie Cantos Unfortunately, Stella Young passed away in December 2014. Let us keep her memory alive by sharing her message with others.
@lilylove8733
@lilylove8733 10 жыл бұрын
Wow finally someone understands! I was given an award at school for 'doing all her physiotherapy with a hardworking attitude', whilst others got awards for community service, voluntary work or reading 500 books over the holidays. I was mortified having to collect my award in front of everyone for doing nothing significant. If I don't do my physio, my joints become stiff and I will struggle to get around as easily. I cant just not do them, its just a part of my life and is a lousy reason for getting an award compared to other people's achievements. I got an award for being disabled. How inspirational!
@YM-qg2kd
@YM-qg2kd 10 жыл бұрын
Thank you Stella...
@TheMilwaukeeProtocol
@TheMilwaukeeProtocol 9 жыл бұрын
Her nomination for a Community Achievement Award reminds me of the time Obama got a Nobel Peace Prize. I felt so sorry for him at the time. I'm sure he felt super awkward, LOL. But seriously, it's really unfair to do that to people. Hey, you're in a wheel chair; here's a prize! Hey, you're black; here's a prize! P.S. I also don't have a desire to feel inspired by someone with a disability. If he or she wanted to chat me up, I'd be interested only in what they had to say. I wouldn't give a damn if it was abysmally depressing, banal, or whatever. I'd just want to hear about it like I do when I'm talking with anyone.
@KelliViti
@KelliViti 7 жыл бұрын
Giving prizes, is much easier than ensuring equality. You get to pay lip service, without actually doing, anything to adress the issue.
@trashleigh87
@trashleigh87 10 жыл бұрын
Rest In Peace Stella. You were a total champion lady - sorry to see you've left us so soon
@KeaTheroux
@KeaTheroux 9 жыл бұрын
Absolutely LOVE this video!!! I share it often!
@shayna110
@shayna110 3 жыл бұрын
R.I.P. Stella Young
@georgerobins4110
@georgerobins4110 3 жыл бұрын
This lady is hilarious, she inspires me with her comedy
@eirikmurito
@eirikmurito 8 жыл бұрын
this is so inspiring
@1398go
@1398go 5 жыл бұрын
Umm....
@progenderrole1329
@progenderrole1329 5 ай бұрын
Toxic
@astoriarego8304
@astoriarego8304 Жыл бұрын
This is such an important talk for so many reasons. But when she says society and not our bodies isn't the problem, that doesn't apply to all disabilities. Better understanding and medical care could make chronic pain conditions more bearable, but at no point will they take care of the problem. Chronic pain is bad, fullstop. I'm one of the lucky ones with a very supportive community, family, and doctors, and it's still entirely debilitating. My disability is absolutely a bad thing. I suppose it's a useful message for reform, but I don't think it's a good idea to promote a unitary model of disability that excludes us. It promotes the myth that we can be fixed with the right treatment and conditions, which can be very harmful.
@Chiller-pc1dv
@Chiller-pc1dv 9 ай бұрын
Agreed, I wish people would stop making that statement, like no it's our disabilities that make us disabled, not society. Of course society doesn't help, but we'd still struggle regardless. I'm chronically ill, and struggle everyday.
@teejay5432
@teejay5432 4 жыл бұрын
She is so Aussie and it's true high school students are always "HEY MISS" every two minutes
@ryandailyuacalslifemanagem8871
@ryandailyuacalslifemanagem8871 3 жыл бұрын
Fabulous and insightful!
@Mega2Sakaura
@Mega2Sakaura 10 жыл бұрын
I love this for being a very new idea, making you realize what you need to.
@somethingspaceguy
@somethingspaceguy 3 жыл бұрын
thank you for saying this. it needed to be said. thank you for not having it be specific to one type of disability and including people like Deaf people who have less outwardly obvious disabilities. thank you for saying this.
@AmyNapsALot
@AmyNapsALot 9 жыл бұрын
On objectifying people with disabilities. LOVE THIS.
@OutOfTheBoxThinker
@OutOfTheBoxThinker 3 жыл бұрын
As a dude on the Autistic spectrum who dated a chick with SMA for 10 years, I - ironically - find this speech very... inspiring ;-)
@conw_y
@conw_y 10 жыл бұрын
No need to unduly praise or "hero-ise" people who are underprivileged. They simply have a different set of circumstances and issues than the rest of us. It makes me think that outside of the societal forces that privilege some people over others, no one is really better or worse off than anyone else. There's no need to treat anyone with "kid gloves", as long as we're striving to treat them fairly.
@angelajh1
@angelajh1 10 жыл бұрын
thank you from NWDSA This is the change I want to see
@clairejeske4438
@clairejeske4438 6 жыл бұрын
In general I agree with Ms. (Dr.?) Young, however as a disabled person with severe chronic pain I think if your disability causes significant pain it can inherently be negative and it is not just society that limits you, it is indeed your own body. I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, a genetic defect in how my body makes collagen that causes my joints to be hypermobile, painful, and dislocate frequently. I loved this lecture overall and learned a lot from it - I plan to send it to family to explain a complicated subject - and in general I agree that it is patronizing and not at all a compliment to be congratulated for doing something any ordinary person would do. However, I do think some days I want to be congratulated for getting out of bed in the morning because to me, some days with how bad my pain, fatigue, and allergic reactions are it is an achievement to get up and do anything, even if that is just some homework or housework.
@katherinemorelle7115
@katherinemorelle7115 5 жыл бұрын
I’m with you. I have a degenerative spinal condition and also permanent nerve damage. It’s bloody painful. Society doesn’t cause my pain. But- it is society that makes my life far more painful because the footpaths are so uneven and the bumping in the wheelchair bloody hurts. It’s society that means I can’t go into quite a few stores because they never think of wheelchairs needing to pass through aisles. Or there aren’t any ramps so I can’t even get in the front door. Or the fact that I can only just squeeze into my own home because building codes aren’t made with disabled people in mind and the doors and hallways are narrow. Then there’s the people- who tell me they’d have killed themselves if they were me (I seriously had someone say that), that I was brave for parenting while disabled (I had her before my spine gave out on me, what else am I supposed to do- give her up?), or they try to pray over me (🤬), or look at me with pity. It’s my disability that keeps me in bed a lot of the time, but it’s society that makes it not always worth getting out of bed.
@oriolez555
@oriolez555 8 жыл бұрын
How inspiring! I miss her.
@kearstinnekenerson6676
@kearstinnekenerson6676 3 жыл бұрын
I have really bad anxiety and depression and always have had it for as long as I can remember and all those posters have ever done is make it feel like I am even more of a useless waist of space.
@darkangel2347
@darkangel2347 3 жыл бұрын
While in Year 6 at school in 1981, it was the International Year Of The Handicapped. From that I got to admire Franklin D. Roovelselt as there were may "inspiration p0rn" posters of him at my school. But one year later in August 1982, I ran across a six laned arterial road in a straight and continous motion and got hit by a car by choice to avoid a planned polio vaccination at school. I consider this act as one on the very best childhood deeds I've ever done. And I finally gained true self-esteem and a real and unique personality for it. And I will recieve COVID vaccinations by personal choice when my time comes.
@tinarider9945
@tinarider9945 6 жыл бұрын
Very intelligent woman..so brave and charismatic..bless
@Aura-vv2dl
@Aura-vv2dl Жыл бұрын
So a disabled person is brave for simply existing?
@progenderrole1329
@progenderrole1329 5 ай бұрын
Quit being toxic
@MsRunningInRain
@MsRunningInRain 10 жыл бұрын
R.I.P. Stella
@MartintheMetalhead
@MartintheMetalhead 10 жыл бұрын
I hate it when people only say things out of sympathy. Lose the sympathy bullshit and be truthful don't say something positive because someone has a disability. that's sympathetic! Sorry but I don't get through peoples opinions. Well Done Sarah 2 thumbs up
@zekeman7598
@zekeman7598 10 жыл бұрын
The only true measure of happiness we have as humans is to look at others misery. Weird. "it could be worse"says it all. When I was in my twenties if I ever made the mistake of complaining in front of my dad he would always stop me and would ask me in a brisk tone...."hey"..."did you eat the butt end of a riffle for dinner last night son"?,....( I'd sheepishly reply)."no"....."well" he'd say...."then shut the fuck up and make do". lol. A bit harsh maybe but I think I got the message..I AM more grateful :)
@61sonja
@61sonja 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks Stella, but I have to tell you that you've been inspiring despite your intentions ☺ in a different manner though... Great! ❤
@emmarose4234
@emmarose4234 6 жыл бұрын
Pardon my language, but F*** YEAH STELLA YOUNG. RIP. 😢 I hate it when disabled people are treated like objects. Like when they’re made prom/homecoming king/queen out of pity. Barf. If anyone tried that on me, I’d stop at nothing to GIVE THE CROWN BACK. I didn’t earn it.
@BarbaraLond
@BarbaraLond 2 жыл бұрын
Stella, you’re hilarious!! Like others, also love the stairs comment. Really loved your TED talk - I live a great comedienne! Which you clearly are.
@hamstermunchies5558
@hamstermunchies5558 9 жыл бұрын
BBQ tongs, genius. I'm so going to use them from now on :)
@Nsoccerfan43n
@Nsoccerfan43n Жыл бұрын
Yes. Well said.
@shelbytops
@shelbytops 10 жыл бұрын
WOW you have made my day : ) just wish others could view the world as you do
@KelliViti
@KelliViti 10 жыл бұрын
Many of us do, but the media has always had a stake in perpetuating all sorts of sterio types. The ones surrounding Disability, are particularly difficult b/c It is a minority to wich, anyone could suddenly find themselves belonging. The fear of that, combined with the devaluation from the society at large that accompanies such an event, is not easily reconciled. My experience of disability is vastly different from. someone who aquires one later in life. I have used a wheelchair & crutches since birth, I arrived in this package, nothing has been lost and or taken away. My wheelchair & crutches are fundamental to my worldview, as are my parents, gender, place of birth, race & the era, of wich I am a part. Disability isn't a positive or a negative it just is. adapting is the hallmark of our species, it's what we do. Objectifying us as stories of inspiration, creates a phsycological barrier, or safe distance from an inescapable truth, life is random, we are subject to it's whims, & SHIT HAPPENS!!!.
@anonymouscaregiver682
@anonymouscaregiver682 9 жыл бұрын
Im writing a book "Day In The Life Of A DSW ( Disability Service Worker) It is in a diary format. You people think you have seen people with disabilities. No you have not. Majority of them are locked up in residential homes. they go to a day center daily from 9 am until 3 pm except weekends. These people with disabilities in residential homes are not a celebrity like Stella. Majority of these people with disabilities has been dumped on the DHS door step. They have been forgotten. most of these people with disabilities that are hidden away can never go out in public places. I been to these big ass meetings where stella was a speaker and a few others were speakers too. They have their intelligence and they can speak. Most of the people with disabilities i work with cannot speak or report those who abuses them. if you report it... majority of the time the reporter gets shafted and classified the DSW as trouble makers. Im writing a diary book and i hope to publish it one day soon. I have pages of stories what i have seen and heard and some of it may shock ya. Do not judge me please.. Im the silent advocate. I will release what really goes on inside these residential homes.
@mysticqueen3551
@mysticqueen3551 6 жыл бұрын
Anonymous Caregiver So it's basically a pity diary?
@risepek
@risepek 10 жыл бұрын
Very interesting talk.
@jackelopehack5301
@jackelopehack5301 10 жыл бұрын
I often get words of encouragement wherever I go. Just random shouts from people praising me for being disabled. I can't complaining, I mean the gesture is nice. I just don't know what to make of it because I don't feel like I've done anything to deserve it. So yeah, she's on to a point there. It doesn't bother me like I guess it bothers her, but it certainly shows which non disabled people are kind of in their own reality.
@sparkaleshish
@sparkaleshish 10 жыл бұрын
Bravo!
@hamishcameron9510
@hamishcameron9510 7 жыл бұрын
I'm disabled and i am simply grateful anyone would accept me, let alone find me inspirational.
@ShinigamiKristak
@ShinigamiKristak 3 жыл бұрын
Damn, those life hacks are really great.
@hanscombe72
@hanscombe72 10 жыл бұрын
Became such a fan during "modern manners". Terribly upset to hear of her passing.
@docrob0327
@docrob0327 6 жыл бұрын
I love this video but TEDx Talks do not have closed captioning. I can’t show these in my classes because I have students who are deaf and require closed captioning.
@viktorkurgan2910
@viktorkurgan2910 5 жыл бұрын
Will let you know
@viktorkurgan2910
@viktorkurgan2910 5 жыл бұрын
The captions are available now
@katherinemorelle7115
@katherinemorelle7115 5 жыл бұрын
Viktor Kurgan it shouldn’t have been up to you to provide them. TEDX has the captions on their website, and they’ve had them ever since this video was first recorded, almost 6 years ago. They just couldn’t be bothered putting the captions up here on KZbin.
@viktorkurgan2910
@viktorkurgan2910 5 жыл бұрын
@@katherinemorelle7115 All TED captions are created by volunteers like myself. Unfortunately, Stella's talk is duplicated on KZbin. The other copy was subtitled a while ago
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