Instructions Unclear, Time For Selfiecide | Castle Super Beast 247 Clips

[@PatchtheReaper99]

12:55 "The fact I'm at risk of seeing a 14 year old's opinion at any point in the day is a human rights violation."

[@GlassbrainZ]

I love the revelation that the smartest bears ARE, in fact, smarter than the dumbest humans.

[@BomberTM]

Specifically at opening complicated trash bins. Still hilarious.

[@theotherjared9824]

They're smarter than the average bear.

[@parodysam]

Yogi Bear is real

[@Serahpin]

More likely the bear has more motivation to get the trashcan open than a lazy, shitty person.

[@Serahpin]

It's more likely a bear is more motivated to get food than a lazy person is to correctly throw away garbage.

[@Texmex386]

Woolie erasing the last 10 seconds after accidently seeing a spoiler is a prime example of seeing a thing you don't like and wiping it from memory.

[@ennuiespada]

Woolie channeling his personal King Crimson

[@GuitarSlayer136]

​@@ennuiespadaTheres a level of ADHD where you utilize your object impermanence to just not write-to-disk the spoiler you just heard/read

[@UltimatePhantasm]

would be REALLY FUCKING NICE if I was able to do that

[@onimaxblade8988]

@@GuitarSlayer136 Sometimes it does not work, but it's very useful

[@_Jay_Maker_]

@@UltimatePhantasm Being able to do that is an experience. Just apply a higher level of attention to a different thing and overwrite the thing you'd rather not know. Unfortunately, for most of us this happens unconsciously to things that we actually need to pay attention to, but we take what we can get.

[@theslipknotlobster7794]

I once went to a bear sanctuary in South Dakota, big, open spaces with bears everywhere. So, the place is littered with signs to the effect oc “do not exit your car, feed the bears etc. We will try to save you if a bear gets you, but we will not succeed” So, there are different sections of the park separated by what are essentially large horse-grates in the road, the bears can traverse them no problem, but it does slow them down. I watched a couple and their 2 or 3 year old child stop, get out of the car, and take a photos for like 5 minutes with a bear about 50 feet away, with only one of those grates separating them. My family and I stayed to watch because if the bear came after them, we were going to try and grab the kid. The bear, luckily, did nothing but stare at them until they left. But that’s probably the most obvious version of this I’ve ever seen. And it also is in theme with the thumbnail of the clip so cheers!

[@rosenrot234]

Something about the pure honesty of "We will try to save you. We WILL fail." because its a freaking bear

[@zeze7022]

4:14 If you have EVER worked in housekeeping/sanitation you know this. A sign is not enough. A physical barrier isn’t even enough. Nothing short of locking the door will stop people from waltzing into the bathroom you’re trying to clean and acting confused when you tell them it’s closed. It’s genuinely incredible.

[@Chuckles_The_Goat_Clown]

Very true

[@thewraithwriter22]

Oh my fucking god, _this_

[@sparkytepig]

I like to call this the, ‘DW Effect’, from the meme of DW from Arthur saying defiantly, “This sign can’t stop me because I can’t read!”

[@MillenniumDays]

I once had antibiotics that had two verbal warnings from the doctor, a verbal warning from the nurse who gave the prescription, a verbal warning from the pharmacist and text bigger than the name of the antibiotics highlighted saying 'do not consume alcohol'. I only drink on special occasions, so it's not like I was known for it. I told a guy I was on it and he said 'Nah you can have a little, that's just warning they put on all medicine'. I presume he's dead now.

[@StarlessAH]

Antibiotics + medicene doesn't kill you, but it does slow the effects of antibiotics. It's stupid to drink on them, but not lethal, just means you'll be on them longer.

[@Coconut-219]

You know what they say about presumptions, "they make an"- wait, no I'm thinking of assumptions. Nevermind carry on...

[@MillenniumDays]

@@baronvonslambert This would one of the '0.1%', hence all the warning. The attitude of believing that '99.9%' is actually 100% is the the reason it has so many warnings. Found the old box, it's called Metronidazole commonly used with dentists and drinking any alcohol can cause vomiting, headaches and stomach pain. Sure, it won't kill you, but it'd be pretty dumb thing to do.

[@psyc840]

@@baronvonslambertThere’s a lot of painkillers with warnings not to be taken to relieve hangovers because they can cause liver failure.

[@ricardomiles2957]

​@@StarlessAH it can mess with your live no? that's the consensus i think

[@mentfib1906]

The pause ends at 10:30

[@nathanbankhead8678]

Not all heroes wear capes

[@jbark678]

It's a nice pause screen at least

[@Lokaror]

Thanks.

[@darthskele]

Why wouldn't they edit this part out? Thanks for the time stamp

[@kwedl]

@@nathanbankhead8678 Are you people unable to just skip forward a bit? Do you really instantly jump to the comments?

[@wacko992]

Let it be known that the frame broke before the window did

[@TealWolf26]

The Window Stands! 🫡

[@Rasamune]

It’s poetic, really. Like something out of a modern Macbeth

[@fernandozavaletabustos205]

CADIA STA- oh wait!

[@hellfirdragon17]

The Punisher killed a lady the exact same way in the comics

[@ice_queen9]

lmao i'm reading this article about the guy who swam into the nuclear power plant intake valve and he actually tried to SUE the power plant, even though he deliberately bypassed a huge barrier that was clearly marked. oh, and this happened in florida

[@DiscoBolante]

Does living in Florida drive people insane?

[@oni5963]

Did he win??

[@oni5963]

@@DiscoBolante The reason is because florida is both a Southern state and a costal state with really nice beaches, which results in it being a hotbed for any white person who has the money to stay there. At least that's the theory I'm working with.

[@SH1NK1R01]

@@oni5963it’s mostly that Florida has a law that makes any and all crimes and court cases open to the public. You can see every stupid case and crime online and you don’t even need to live there. The media just browses the site for a few hours and prints anything funny. Most states do not have this.

[@oni5963]

@@SH1NK1R01 aaaah that makes a lot more sense lol

[@theotherjared9824]

Every rule exists because someone decided to fuck around and found out. Think about that the next time you read some hyper specific nonsense on a sign.

[@deslacooda]

I am sure it exists, so anyone got a screenshot of a sign specifically stating "Do not attempt to recover hats blown by wind"?

[@skeetsvar162]

19:00 I love how Pat's instant reaction to someone having more empathy than him is to immediately label them as a health risk to themselves. Never change pat, never change. 😂

[@Vanity0666]

Nugget of truth in every good joke

[@Bessux]

If you get offended over someone laughing at a stupid death, then you're clearly sympathizing with the deceased more than you should.

[@nathantheholt]

Pat’s planking mention reminded me of something that happened while doing study abroad in university. Early in the trip, two of my classmates got stoned out of their gourd and one of them was so high that he forgot where he put his money. He thought it blew off the courtyard he was at, so he decided he was literally going to climb down the side of the 4 story building in search of his missing money. I ended needing to hold him to stop him while another classmate went and got our professor who was quite upset about the situation. Fun times

[@GuitarSlayer136]

a real mate would have offered his shirt/pants to form a sort of rapel line.

[@Dabednego]

The delight on Woolie’s face when he understands where Pat is going with the bear proof trashcan anecdote is beautiful

[@kamikazelemming1552]

I can't help but think of Peggy's Cove, and how, every year, despite all the warnings and the signs and the fact that there is always multiple news stories about some idiot that went out on the wet rocks and got swept away, there are still idiots who go out there on the wet rocks and get swept away.

[@awsomesaucekirby]

When I did overnight retail, sometimes ebt would go down. We'd put up a sign in the entrance that a potential customer would have to step around to go in, words at eye level. We'd do announcements every 15 minutes on the PA to clarify this. And we'd still have customers come up to the register looking to pay in ebt with carts full of stuff I'd have to return

[@goronhead]

Something I've commonly heard/said in working retail; if you want to keep a secret, put it on a sign. The average person seems to have a complete inability to read signs.

[@BlackJackZeroXtreme]

I believe the term you were looking for before, Woolie, was 'killfies'.

[@blackdragoncyrus]

Or "Natural Selection".

[@99sins]

or Darwin Awards

[@WeaponOfMyDestructio]

That sounds like a girl band

[@suichilegend]

There is a saying in my country: If its have a sign, there is a story

[@laurentiusbaggins8635]

This discussion of lack of intelligence reminded me of the fact that in some gnostic beliefs there is this idea that a certain amount of humans are randomly born without souls and are essentially homunculi or flesh robots going through their programing routine. Deeply misanthropic, yes but also a compelling argument when you hear stories like the ones Pat and Woolie share.

[@legojay14]

Careful. That's how you get into that "everyone but me and people I like are npcs" nonsense. Ironically the people who believe that are exactly the types egotistical enough to assume a sign doesn't apply to them and be the next example

[@blaacksugar7714]

Anyone who has been in ROTC knows this very well. You are told to not lock your legs as you and your fellow cadets are standing in rest position for 20+ minutes as your commander is giving a speech to the audience. After 10 minutes, you can see who didn't listen as you see them puke and fall over.

[@maubpp]

Man you wanna talk about erasing memories from 2 seconds ago you don't like, there's this guy at my gym that LOVES to ego lift like crazy. One time he goes to do a standing barbell shoulder press with 45's on each side that he's already struggling to get off the hooks. He starts to press it and the weight is too much that it starts to pull him back as soon as he gets it to the top. He gets control of it and racks it back and I go and tell him "hey dude maybe lower the weight moving forward" and he just kind of passive aggressively blows me off and moves on to something else entirely. When I finish and go to leave the gym I see this mf go back to the rack and try to press the same thing again. This dude was literally only waiting for me to leave to do the stupid shit he was already gonna do without judgment

[@kevinpeixes3735]

weak af mindset ngl

[@greatestcait]

On the subject of signs: I work at one of those little kiosk gas stations, where the pumps are outside and there's a little employees only booth (operated by one person at a time), you walk up to the window and buy your gas or drink or whatever. So you know, whenever I have to go to the bathroom or go outside to do something like shovel snow or take out the trash, I have a sign that I hang in the window saying "Hey, please be patient, I'll be right back." I have had more times than I can count where I've put up the sign, and had people look *all around the sign* trying to find me as if I'm just hiding somewhere like a Korok. And then I come back and they're like "Oh I thought there was nobody in there," like seriously? Do you not know how to read? It's aggravating.

[@zaneseibert]

During this bit all I could think about was the story about Paige, the knife, and the pineapple.

[@logandh2]

What?

[@zaneseibert]

​@@logandh2 Paige cut up and ate a pineapple. She's allergic pineapple and knew this beforehand. On top of that, she decided to lick the pineapple juice off the knife BY STICKING THE KNIFE IN HER MOUTH, resulting in her cutting herself. She had to go to the hospital for both the knife cut and the allergic reaction.

[@trashman1605]

​@@zaneseibertthis woman is a mother now.

[@rasseabreeze6246]

​@@trashman1605and most confusingly, still alive

[@gameb9oy]

@@rasseabreeze6246no one knows how she has survived this long, including Paige.

[@purpleisthesneakiest]

pat assuming that someone who goes "that's not funny" at darwin awards also being someone who does extremely stupid shit often is very limited, because there's also a considerable amount of people that are upset by the death of any person, even if it was a death they brought on themselves.

[@Dragonsmana]

Pat and Woolie: If you don't have a problem with this NPC death in God of War 3, then you might be an actual psychopath. Also Pat and Woolie: If you don't find this death of a real person funny, it might be because you are also stupid. Real talk though, you can find the death of an actual human being sad, even if you find the events around it humorous in some way. Generally when these things are brought up, the actual person who died isn't named, only the scenario is used for humor.

[@tarfielarchelone2674]

​@Dragonsmana was that the squish the slave girl thing?

[@Dragonsmana]

@@tarfielarchelone2674 Yeah it was.

[@Vanity0666]

What is the feeling called when you recognize the humor but also recognize the tragedy I am in Shakespeare's Box

[@Bessux]

@@Dragonsmana Yeah, being brutally murdered compared to an idiot dying a preventable death might be a fucking stupid comparison, even if one is fictional.

[@aSkymne]

im mad that my brain didnt jostle out "selficide"

[@Bobbytries]

You can take a Horse to Water but you can’t make it think - Money Mike

[@Gespenst38]

As someone who works in grocery retail I can confidently confirm how little the average person engages with the world around them. Me working in my store's bakery department: Hello ma'am how can I help you? Admittedly nice and polite woman: Yeah I'm looking for the prices for your loose bagels and donuts. Cut to me looking out into the department to see big "you'd have to be blind not to notice them" signs above those very products that not only lists what they cost individually but also what they would cost if you bought half'a'dozen of them.

[@CrackedT00th]

imagine being outsmarted by a trashcan. I'd call it quits right then and there.

[@NovusNiveus]

19:20 'Person Who Doesn't Believe In Turn Signals' is every single other person who lives in my city. 👀

[@nowhereman6019]

The range of human intelligence is so vast that we have humans making Dark Souls on one end and humans unable to open up bear-proof garbage bins on the other.

[@WeaponOfMyDestructio]

Both end in YOU DIED

[@PopoTCG]

But can they produce a Dark Souls playable by bears?

[@nateszigeti3653]

@@PopoTCG that's what humanity should strive for

[@_Jay_Maker_]

There are instructions on Pop-Tarts on how to put them into your toaster without offing yourself. Pat running headfirst into service-industry PTSD was extremely, extremely relatable. I've seen bystanders shove their entire arm into machines designed to crush things. People don't give a shit about signs. The "gun to head" selfie is fucking wild just for how _spot-on_ the Range Officers are when those tend to happen. Banned for life beats "accidentally" offing your best friend.

[@malikoniousjoe]

But if you think about it, what a brilliant insurance scam. Get great life insurance policies on yourself and SO and go to the range. “Wouldn’t it be funny if like? You had a gun to your head in a selfie lol Like don’t actually pull the trigger right? But like come on babe it’d be super wacky and it’ll get tons of likes!” hard cut to “Oh no, how could this happen… Anyways.” as they dab the tears with thousand dollar bills.

[@tbotalpha8133]

@@malikoniousjoe Yeah I'm sure that money will be a great comfort, while you're rotting in jail for negligent manslaughter at *best.*

[@TrueLegateDamar]

As a Dutch person, I never considered that people would think the canals in Amsterdam need rails because people are too stupid not to fall in to them and then sue the city.

[@Kradily]

As a janitor I can share some dumbass stories of people ignoring signs, best one is of the one person ignoring the sign next to, above, and In front of the elevator being fixed to watch them drop to the floor below all caught on security camera…he lived but he got fucked up… He got extremely lucky he was on the ground floor…

[@AirLancer]

They didn't notice that they were walking into an empty elevator shaft either?

[@RageingMuffin]

I didn't have shop class but I went to an art high school with various tools for wood work. Saws, dremmel tools, different knives for fabric and wood. You'd think one of those would cause major injury but no. One of my design classes had one of those giant paper cutters with the machete looking arm and the guard/ guide to keep you from cutting your fingers off, stickers all over it telling you to pay attention and keep your fingers behind the guard. Some kids thought it would be funny to take a picture with their thumb over the guard with the blade up. Little did they know the blade arm was not screwed in all the way and it came down and cut the top of this girl's thumb off.

[@ArchDurandal]

Whenever I think I've heard the dumbest thing I always tell myself "Stupidity knows no bounds", because there will always be a dumber thing to happen afterwards.

[@lezy9126]

I don't know. Regardless of the circumstances, people dying a perfectly avoidable death is something I don't think I'll ever feel indifferent about, or be able to laugh at it, for that matter. Social neurodiversity is very much a factor despite how easy it is to just go "dumb guy dumb". Different people have different lives and upbringings and they'll answer to danger in different ways. The end point is the same, but there's so many different reasons as to why someone may have gone on that balcony and plank that range from just being a drunken, reckless person to peer pressure and so many others in between. The darwin awards never sat right with me for this same reason.

[@pradlark]

That's a really good point, whenever I think of these deaths I always assume it's someone of average intelligence who just ignored warnings or didn't gauge the risks, being neurodivrgent myself and having family members who are too that really makes me think about that in a more empathetic way, I wasn't taught basic things about life and I can imagine if anyone wasn't taught basic safety then they'd be more likely to die in an easily avoidable way

[@steffanofumo]

Exactly, but by Pat’s logic you must be also a incredibly dumb risk taker and that’s the only reason why you also don’t find these deaths funny, and not that you have better empathy and understanding of people and situations.

[@kaine1723]

Maybe they shouldnt die in super preventable ways then 🤔

[@mvl209]

I love Pat mentioning the bear-proof trash cans again. He's where I first heard it from and I constantly tell other people about it 🤣

[@coraert]

They seriously kept in the minute-long break in this clip?

[@TheLionkevinson]

Hell yeah they kept it! The hypest moment of this video.

[@elviejodann6544]

Faithful adaptation from the manga

[@johnrivers3813]

This is the downside of the Internet because without it I would be blissfully unaware of just how many stupid people there are out there in the world. I don't think my friends and family are geniuses but they're at least smart enough to know that you're supposed to yield when you're entering a roundabout. Or not drive through a red light. I need to take a break from social media

[@johnrivers3813]

I saw a dashcam video the other day of a car getting slammed by a truck because it didn't yield to the truck in the roundabout and the amount of comments that said the truck driver was in the wrong........ I wonder how high their car insurance is

[@gameb9oy]

I don’t know if I’d be happier or more upset if I wasn’t made aware of how the majority of not the entirety of the richest people in the world overlapped with the dumbest people in the world

[@czarkusa2018]

If you've ever played an online game, those people drive cars.

[@Vanity0666]

​@@czarkusa2018even worse, some of them have government jobs

[@alldayagain]

I don't think it's a "smart bear vs dumb human" thing I think it's more honestly "the intelligence of bears vs the laziness of people" 😅

[@greygale]

That's probably a big part of it, honestly. Bears want to get into bins so they can obtain food to survive, so you have to make the lock hard enough that they give up and move on. People want to get into bins so they won't be judged for leaving garbage on the ground, so you have to make the lock easy enough that they won't just wait until nobody's looking at them and ditch it.

[@alldayagain]

@@greygale or they're Pat, who will litter with abandon

[@DoctorCVC]

At some point laziness and stupidity just become the same thing

[@TheAssassin642]

I feel like i've seen this before. But.. I don't remember Pat having a baby the last time this came up

[@TariTariTariTariTari]

Break ends at 10:24

[@wumbojet]

Leaving the break in is hilarious honestly

[@jamesroche8785]

To be fair- warning signs aren't put up to prevent accidents, they're put up to mitigate liability.

[@Exarian]

this video does bring up a much greater point: when you realize that capital-G "GAMERS" on the internet are like, a minority of a minority in the scheme of "people who play video games" then a lot of things about the industry makes a *lot* more sense. We haven't been the primary demogrpahic for over a decade, and honestly I don't really blame the companies for that.

[@ricardomiles2957]

except on scummy they got. Because their target market isn't knowledgeable they take advantage of it

[@DIOBrando-ij2bp]

Speaking of toys that both babies and pets will like. When I was a kid we’d get our dogs this dog toy called a Wiggly Giggly ball. Had a few of them. Even once got a Wiggly Giggly drumstick once, but the shape of it meant the dog could hold it in a way that made it very easy to just rip apart. Now I’ve got a new dog, and I get it one of these Wiggly Giggly balls. It’s probably been more than a decade since I’ve seen a new one. Well, much to my surprise it seems the Wiggly Giggly ball is no long branded as a dog toy. Now it’s sold as a baby toy. Still looks exactly the same too, they don’t paint it any differently other than removing the paw prints painted around the ball. And the original dog version seems to have been renamed to a Wobble Wag Giggle ball. It’s very weird.

[@thegaunttlet]

This is nothing on the scale of people ignoring signs that are there to prevent horrible accidents, but this did remind of a few things I found utterly hilarious while working at a Barnes and Noble college store in the textbook department. During the end of a semester, we would have a huge fucking sign set up on the 2nd floor in FRONT OF THE UP-ESCALATOR for the purposes of making textbook rental check-ins and textbook buybacks quick and smooth because there are so many damn students. One part of the sign would say "TEXTBOOK RENTAL RETURNS" with an arrow pointing to the left, while the other had "TEXTBOOK BUYBACK" with an arrow pointed to the right. If I had a fucking nickel for every person going to where you return rentals wanting to sell back books, and people going to return their rentals where you go to sell them back, I would be Scrooge McDuck. Also, there was a period of time where our down escalator was down for repair, and we had incredibly bright and big yellow barriers and signs set up around the bottom and top part of it. COUNTLESS people would go about a foot away from either part, looking to go up or back down, and be confused and acted like they didn't notice. Some of these people would come to us on the 2nd floor and ask how to get back down WHILE STANDING A FEW FEET AWAY FROM THE ELEVATOR WITH A HUGE FUCKING ELEVATOR SIGN!!!!!!!

[@Bloodedskull19]

Reminds me of that video of a couple putting their child on a sea lion's back that was out of the water just to get a 'cute' picture. Completely unaware/uncaring of the potential danger since sea lions eat penguins for lunch--could've easily attacked their daughter if it wanted to instead of just 'bucking' her off its back. Stupidity of some people never fails to surprise me.

[@AirLancer]

It doesn't help that too many of these damn "cute/fun wild animal" videos try to present every animal as being just like a dog even though they're generally presenting very unusual scenarios. Then these people in the comments who write stuff like "aw see all animals want is love

[@PainCausingSamurai]

This conversation took me downna rabbit hole which ended up with me spending nearly an hour looking into the Scarlet Johansson movie "Under the Skin"

[@RichardJohnson-wd1gp]

I remember watching this at a friend's house cause I heard the music was good after watching Annihilation. We are all in his basement but I stayed up and decided to put it on. His girlfriend gets up in the middle of the night, looks at what I'm watching while half-asleep, and just goes "is that a penis?"

[@YaraDara634]

I had a coworker named Shane who recently passed away at 83. Not too long before that happened I was leaving the job we worked at so he invited me and a few friends over for a cookout. When I got to his house I was baffled to find he had the biggest PlayStation collection I’ve ever seen. Just a room with games lining the walls and huge stacks on the floor. Stuff from ps1 all the way to new releases. I spent a while talking to him about it and he offered to let me just pick and take anything I wanted because his own son and grandkids weren’t interested in games. I couldn’t do that so I said no but yeah you really just never know what people are into what or what they could believe

[@ice_queen9]

pat must think about this a lot lol, he talked about this problem in relation to DSP playing God of War Ragnarok as well

[@nurbz0788]

Woolie wasn't kidding about typing in "couple on honeymoon" into Google. The auto suggestions I got were "killed in Uganda" and "burned in Volcano"

[@MoostachedSaiyanPrince]

I tried to see what I get in the auto completes for "couple on homeymoon". My favorite was "couple on honeymoon in Mexico." Woolie was right. Truly the stuff of nightmares.

[@Zhanael]

gooooooooddddddddds this is why I have no sympathy for the billionaire in the submersible. He purposely ignored the warnings. I just felt sorry for the kid and the old dude.

[@kimmalah]

The old guy knew it was dangerous, had expressed concerns about the submersible possibly killing him in the past and even told people that he was old and it wouldn't be a bad way to die. His presence as an experienced diver actually caused others to feel safe and get on the sub when they may have otherwise not taken the trip. And the whole narrative about the kid not wanting to go on the dive was something made up by his estranged aunt. By all accounts from his close family, he was so excited to go that his mother actually gave up her spot for him.

[@GrayD_Fox]

When my family and I went to Hawaii, we went on that death highway and had to stop every 15 minutes because people would be parked and getting pictures of the water fall and swimming in them despite the signs everywhere 8 minutes saying “do not park”

[@Rankerquat]

Eh. I remember the time I went through the Reno airport security line. Nobody else was in line so I shot up to front immediately! The security guard there was mad as all hell because I paused for a second to pull out my wallet before approaching his little booth. "The sign there *clearly* says you need to approach me when I flash the green light on my booth" he said. He pointed towards a wall behind me that was covered from the floor to the ceiling in signs, instructions, and warnings. He knew the instructions by heart, so why didn't I? That's why I'm always hesitant to use the word "Common Sense." It's too easy to think that just because you know something, the whole world ought to know, too.

[@Scaevola9449]

just put a simple code lock on the can and write the code clearly on the can

[@MrBrawler16]

Retail worker here. When I clean the bathrooms I put up both a closed sign and the cleaning cart in front of the door, yet some people still walk in and ask "oh, is the restroom closed"?

[@Dragonsmana]

My favorite Darwin Award is still the one Woolie brought up on Best of Best Scrublords ep, of the manliest man contest. The winner chugged a beer then removed his head with a chainsaw. Even Pat was surprised with that one lmao. (I think YT auto filtered the previous version of the comment, so trying again)

[@vidmuncher]

Damn, the Green Knight's at it again....

[@andieallison6792]

What episode was it omg

[@Dragonsmana]

@andieallison6792 The game title was actually "Best of Best".

[@legojay14]

And remember. Most people can avoid these situations. But theres 8 billion of us and most of humanity is protected from predators and the elements. These kinds of people would always be the types to take themselves out. Now it's just entirely self inflicted and seems more common because our numbers spiked. But every culture has had these same stories

[@night1952]

But did the window break when it hit the ground? It'd be the final punchline to that story.

[@cryogenicstardust9245]

Can anyone actually source this study Pat is referencing?

[@talkingtakotaco8611]

With regards to the bear trashcan thing, from what I can gather from a cursory googling, it wasn't a study but someone stating on twitter quoting what they heard from a Yosemite National Park ranger about the difficulties of designing trash cans for the park. While I agree with the quote myself, I can't find anything past the twitter post and people just writing articles about it.

[@gstut1]

now i want a 1 hour long darwin awards segment

[@thelotuslover4757]

Damn woolie lookin fit

[@TheSpookiestSkeleton]

Audio setup that the smartest pat can understand is too complicated for the dumbest woolie

[@petwisk2012]

Why do i think i already heard the bear trashcan conversation between wools and pat years ago

[@Marklar3]

It's not necessarily that humans are dumber than the smartest bears, it's also that they're more apathetic than bears.

[@john77752]

Shall we edit out this brb screen from the video? Nahh fuck it, leave it in for no reason

[@Bupernox]

I think the fact that we still have "DO NOT DRINK" warnings on bottles of bleach is proof enough that we are a fundamentally stupid species.

[@ricardomiles2957]

remember back in the pandemic? it showed us that worldwide some adults think drinking cleaning products will clean your insides from diseases

[@KaroSword]

The break in the podcast CLIP is new meta im not aware of lol wild

[@SevenIsaCannibal7]

What was the point of leaving in the BRB?

[@rudeboyspodcast]

Editor just forgot, it seems.

[@Feasco]

relaxing music and the feeling that you're watching it live

[@attackofthecopyrightbots]

wow havent had an intermission like this in a while

[@WeaponOfMyDestructio]

Every year we say do not go outside to the beach hurricane surges can kill you. Take a guess what happens every year.

[@fernandozavaletabustos205]

Coming up: Woolie vs. Bear!

[@carbide4458]

This was a strong bit😂

[@EddykyleUk91]

Most signs are here and warnings are here because theres a high chance of someone had an idea to just do it

[@SuperVersen]

Said it before and Ill say it again, part of it isnt about intelligence for some things, part of it is a mobility issue. My mom and grandma cant use the bear proof cans (that they didnt ask for, they arent thaaaat common around here?) because they have really bad arthritis and cant physically open those cans yknow. So we just jam em. Also, the comment about "lawsuit culture" and "maybe wanting a payday" eh any normal person who gets a win earned it on the power disparity alone.

[@CULTCATHERINE]

Anyone find the source of the study pat mentioned??

[@micheljavert5923]

I refuse to believe that Pat's example of the bears and trashcans is nothing but an urban legend and apocryphal. ...But there's a small dark corner of my heart that is terribly afraid that that explains most of modern US politics. With a painful coda of: "And this is why US society can *never* advance beyond a certain point."

[@attackofthecopyrightbots]

yeah pat was louder thought it was just me

[@RipOffProductionsLLC]

On the bear-proof trashcans, wouldn't ones in parks only need rangers to know how to get in? Like all you need is a tiny trash sized hole for folks to put trash in the can, and then the rangers/park maintenance crews come by to open it to collect the garbage bags once a week or whatever, maybe needing special tools to get inside some big concrete tomb the trashcan in fortified within, and boom, bear-proof trash. Now that doesn't help folks who have bears coming over to their house to raud their trash, but parks have no excuse.

[@kikaru25]

If there's an open hole, the bears will still congregate around it because the smell gets out. It also means other, smaller animals will crawl inside and either A) get stuck and die, which the parks don't want, or B) pull out trash to eat, and probably leave some around on the ground that will then attract more animals like bears.

[@RipOffProductionsLLC]

@kikaru25 then have a weighted flap like so many trashcan do, anything small enough to fit through is to weak to lift it, and anything strong enough to lift is too big to get to the trash. Thus can be extended to utilize a lever to aid humans in lifting the flap, which even if a bear figures out, still won't be able to get to the trash deep within the immovable can-case.

[@gameb9oy]

You’re putting too much faith in park visitors to not dump their trash in weird places if they don’t have easy access to a trash can

[@RipOffProductionsLLC]

@@gameb9oy that's what the lever is for...

[@1000Tomatoes]

I know woolie hates shorts, but there really is a game you have to play in the first millisecond of seeing a short where you have to ask yourself "Was this posted by someone who puts effort in, a bored millennial , or literally just a child."

[@Bentronicus]

On this topic, I suppose, of just dumb people, I remember a story from who knows where however long ago. Basically, a class of College Students, or maybe High School students, not sure, went to Germany to study. When they were walking around, two dumbass kids, presumably doing a bit because they thought they were A-Class Comedians, did the Nazi salute. In public. What they DIDN'T know is that Germany has VERY strict laws on the use of any Nazi symbols or gestures, so upon doing that, Police IMMEDIATELY scooped them up and sent them back to the U.S. And you can't help but think, 'what did you think was gonna happen.'

[@Crypticeyering]

real talk, anyone know the name of the break song they used?

[@danlink3111]

really could have edited out that multi minute braek

[@Biodeamon]

500 years from now (probably much less) somebody will try and break into the nuclear waste silos hopes and prayers do have SOME effect on the world, just the degree of which is questionable. don't let the depression trick you otherwise. problem is sometimes you should be careful what ou wish for, especially if its just your prayers causing a butterfly effect and veering the world's timeline in a poor direction

[@tylerlackey1175]

Neither of them brought up the infinite conga line of videos being uploaded of indians recording themselves standing on train tracks?

[@ricardomiles2957]

that's just lack of good infraestructure and long term consequences of city planning

[@tylerlackey1175]

@@ricardomiles2957 those pesky socio-economic factors always up to no good....

[@Gh0stWh33l]

WHY DID YOU PUT THE ENTIRE BRB BREAK IN THE VIDEO YOU COULD HAVE CUT THAT SHIT OUT!?

[@gimligimlass5509]

Pat saying that someone getting mad at someone else for laughing at an avoidable death meaning that person is somehow also doing stupid things and taking shortcuts has to be one of the more dumbass things he's said. Most people value life and don't consider any actual deaths (stupid or not) to be a laughing matter, and it's reductive to pretend otherwise. Maybe it's just more indicative of the people he's around than anything else, or maybe he's just trying to justify to himself that his own sense of humor is valid by acting like anyone with a different opinion is an idiot. In any case it's a bad look.

[@darugosuenyo]

You good? Pat's always been a bit of a dark humorist

[@God_gundam36]

If somone reads a sign saying "broken glass for 7 miles" and they proceed to take their shoes off, I'm going to laugh at them

[@gimligimlass5509]

@@God_gundam36 Yeah, fair enough. What you find funny is your own business, and if you can own it then I can respect that. Just don't act like someone who dislikes seeing people hurt is somehow dumb for feeling that way.

[@skeetsvar162]

​​@@gimligimlass5509I'm like pat and I find dumb deaths funny, but I'm not so far up my own ass that I'm going to act like people who don't find humor in people fucking dying are somehow projecting insecurities. This is just one of those reminders that pat is actually a kobold in disguise.

[@andret3739]

​@@gimligimlass5509but what if the cause of death was really stupid, easily avoidable and entirely their fault?

[@Acidicstudios]

Natural Selection is truly a wonderful thing~

[@HoChiMints2007]

Darwin's Awards, if you win it your whole lineage gets deleted

[@blackdragoncyrus]

Like.

[@xyzero1682]

Why include the break? Eww.

[@Serahpin]

Dealing with idiots in your comments section that don't seem to understand that you can't use certain curse words makes me wish all zoomers visited Iceland's beaches without the signs.

[@Coconut-219]

Now you know how people feel seeing those who blindly defend said restrictions.

[@Serahpin]

@@Coconut-219 I was a member of the ACLU before they went woke.

[@nackskott12]

Dude was calling you out cos you were calling black people “enwards,” why are you even here if you hate black people?

[@Alexander_Speaks]

‘Stop! Prevent your death! Go no further ‘Sign has a reemergence in my memory today ☠️ 🪧

[@WeCareAlot4693]

One. One. Just ONE podcast clip, that's all I ask. Just A SINGLE PODCAST CLIP where Pat does not interrupt Woolie in the middle of telling a story to say ʺWoolie. Woolie. Woolie.ʺ All while Woolie is still talking, just so Woolie can stop the story dead in its tracks, so Pat can make a stupid, worthless, 30 second observation that goes nowhere, and then Woolie just goes back to telling the story. Literally just give me ONE.