Never try to convince someone to spend time with you. Either they make you a priority or not.
@Freespiritedqueen3 жыл бұрын
Yep!👏🏽
@mateam40243 жыл бұрын
Fact!!!
@kayla69533 жыл бұрын
Yes!!! And if they cant, they won’t be scared to tell you why.
@RK-su4hs3 жыл бұрын
@@ilinavelkova858 be careful. What goes around comes around We all make mistakes & bad choices
@jaydameharkayamkhani39782 жыл бұрын
What if he simply say that work his priority and I comes second?? But he also say that he loves me?
@42Maat3 жыл бұрын
No good man will ghost. A good man would have the decency to break up with you or let you know he is moving on. Ghosting is unacceptable behavior.
@janettheado81533 жыл бұрын
Thank you for great message...as always your message is valuable to those who have gone through this..
@maryly093 жыл бұрын
You would think, right?
@glorianguyen11023 жыл бұрын
@@nvb455 sometimes, it's best to keep it simple and realistic. Of course we shouldn't be blaming anyone for anything, neither ourself nor them for why the relationship failed. We should just except the results and move on with an open mind for the possible future and them. I'm writting this for the people with the same mindset as the original commenter and myself cause i just got ghosted by someone i'm extremely compatible with and i just made the mistake of freaking out and made the ghosting final. And it's ok
@glorianguyen11023 жыл бұрын
@@nvb455 everyone has their reasons and their own problems for why they do the thing that they do. So does your friend. But it doesn't give them a pass on hurting others by ghosting. Whatever their reasoning is, they are hurting people and they should only be accepted when they're aware of their problems and are actively trying to get better. I understand your point of view and the original commenter's point of view. I'm here making a statement of my own relative to both sides, not trying to combat anyone.
@dianneciresi63243 жыл бұрын
They're prolly not mature enough to tell u you're not what they're looking for which should be the 1st question u ask them upon 1st meeting. Wish I did that but now I will next time around if I do which I doubt. Can't deal with with these hassels. Better off staying single & content. Dating is nothing but playing insecure mind games. I don't know how people get married.
@42Maat3 жыл бұрын
Ladies, STOP making excuses for men who do not know what they want. Do shadow work, practice self love, go to therapy if need be. Put yourself first before any insecure or immature man. Even if he is a “great guy”, the moment you start second guessing his feelings for you, he is not the one. Accept it and move on. Open yourself up to meet the person who truly values and will feel blessed to have you. Waiting and trying is degrading.
@luvlytxchicpr4453 жыл бұрын
Exactly! The right one won't run but will work with you to make your relationship solid. Men know what they want and are not going to let a true opportunity slip through their fingers.
@meganruchwatercolors71863 жыл бұрын
Totally agree!!!
@theresachung7033 жыл бұрын
My dear Astrid! Wow
@Freespiritedqueen3 жыл бұрын
Sistah!!!😳😳 SAY THAT!
@meeekaaatv87173 жыл бұрын
Ouch reality hurts!! 😭 Am i not enough? 💔
@TheTropics43 жыл бұрын
If a man I'm dating pulls back because I do something that reminds him of his ex, that tells me he's not over the past and he needs to go away and heal from it. I want a man who is emotionally whole and ready for a healthy relationship with me.
@Freespiritedqueen3 жыл бұрын
I feel ya. This is exactly what we need and want. Should hold this standard.
@britneyb88763 жыл бұрын
Good luck
@nicolejohnson62603 жыл бұрын
Thank you. We all have trauma.
@84Elenai3 жыл бұрын
Hahahah... Good luck with that 🤞
@jessicasunnyd3 жыл бұрын
YES. Also, we live in a dualistic world where we all will always have healing to do and the #1 place we do that is in our closest relationships. So it’s about knowing your worth and ALSO knowing that they are not perfect, just like you.
@cocoli43393 жыл бұрын
A good man may get scared sometimes but at least they know how to say goodbye in a respectful way.
@tempest00783 жыл бұрын
True.
@ananeixon3 жыл бұрын
Yes
@whateverrr38933 жыл бұрын
Exactly. First man who broke up with me ghosted me and I had to beg him to be honest with me and give me closure and not ignoring me like that. He wrote back and broke it off and that was enough for me and I respect him for that. Rest of my relationship, a man shows inconsistent efforts and ghosted me I straight up blocked him and never begged for closure. NEVER AGAIN!
@sw89163 жыл бұрын
I was ghosted 2 weeks ago by a guy I had been seeing intensively for 2 months (and had known for years). 10 dates in, flowers, hand written letters, he talked of us being ‘serious’ and that he was ‘enamoured’ with me. Disappeared without a trace. The abandonment and mental gymnastics has been so painful. But now I’m moving on
@tg98983 жыл бұрын
So sorry this has happened to you. Hope you're ok now. Keep strong
@sw89163 жыл бұрын
@@tg9898 thank you for your kindness ❤️
@katy42783 жыл бұрын
That is so bad! This crappy behaviour should be illegal!
@tg98983 жыл бұрын
@@sw8916 . I mean it hun. I sympathise. I've been there its hurtful. As much as I live my life and depend on no one, I'm in a situation ship at the moment and I'm thinking this will happen to me too. He has contracted covid and communication is not good but it wasnt before
3 жыл бұрын
WOW that sounds absolutely awful!!! (I’ve had something similar happen to me once but not as bad). I’m so sorry to hear that sweetie, hope you’re able to move on and live your best life because you deserve it! Your person will find you! And as for him....he is NOT a good man and karma will deal with him. You dodged a bullet!
@hopefully22243 жыл бұрын
I'm so done with dating. I'm 51, divorced for 8 years and this behavior gets much worse at this age. Just enjoy your lives and prioritize yourselves.
@stormchylde39993 жыл бұрын
I absolutely agree that you should focus on yourself and enjoy living your life, but I also think you should remain open to a relationship. This doesn't mean you have to actively seek out a relationship, but if you're completely closed off to one it will show, and if there is ever going to be a chance of finding one, it will prevent that from happening.
@kky.x3 жыл бұрын
I was hoping men would be more mature at that age but i guess they never mature
@rupaparikh37433 жыл бұрын
Ditto! I’m in the same boat!
@RojitaCali3 жыл бұрын
I understand exactly how you feel! But, the moment we start closing our hearts...💜... Everything goes downhill.You got this 🤗
@anastasiabeaverhousin79623 жыл бұрын
It blows my mind how men in their 50’s are the same or worse! The wonderful Man I wasted years on completely blindsided me and yet Still wants to continue!
@millennialstray42153 жыл бұрын
This guy is so nice and well meaning but I’ve realized that most of the time if you’re searching up videos like this..... the guy is the problem not you bby.
@sansadrake41333 жыл бұрын
100
@glorianguyen11023 жыл бұрын
True dat. But we should alway be aware of these info so that we don't blame them or hold a grudge on them and learn to understand and except
@E.Nobody3 жыл бұрын
I actually wasn't looking them up.. he was recommended to me.. but I agree with you..
@mandyg57473 жыл бұрын
@@metamorphosisjewel233 I used to wonder this as my exes were all violent and abusive. My ex husband even had the nerve to excuse his bad behaviour by telling me that i was the common denominator! ie it was 'my' fault he and the rest hit me! After a couple of years watching channels like this and researching Narcissism to understand the dynamics of my family members . ..I decided that no more was I going to accept or toletate bad behaviour from anyone. People who truly love you will not continually abuse or hurt you! I used to give people 3 chances. ..then i realised how ludicrous this was! One mistake, one warning gut feeling even a tiny one and I was gone! i joined an online dating site Dec 2019 and weirdly circumstances were such that i only met two men. As they all happened to be visiting parents or cancelled dates. Both very nice but the first messed me about with dates, asking me out but not sorting out the third date. Everything was said by text message. 3 weeks of waiting was too long for me and a full 3 days of texting and compliments whilst he was off work but no date. He only lives 10 mins drive from me.... said he would have got "around to asking me out eventually"...well tough luck.. too late. The other is my wonderful boyfriend of almost a year who treats me so well and with respect. Everything is just so nice and easy and he is so reliable. I never had to worry about him calling or making a date in the early days. I am 56 and he is 3 years younger. I am very happy and even my health has improved. Beware tho there are men who troll sites like this and tell you that you are too old etc or be abusive to the women leaving comments but take no notice...the only thing that you are doing 'wrong' is not valuing yourself enough to walk away from bad behaviour. Everyone attracts the wrong people now and again and kind people do get used but don't keep allowing it. At some point in our lives we were conditioned to accept and put up with bad behaviour. Please dont get to your 50s like i did before valuing yourself. And if you are...don't worry...plenty of time to become used to someone who sticks to their values and only surrounds themselves with the kind of person we wish to be. You are obviously not conceited or you would not even consider it being your fault. Well...it isnt! Its not a sin to be a kind person but it is a waste of your time and energy to continue to put up with people who treat you badly. So all the best for the future. There are plenty of good uns out there. .but you only need find one. Value you yourself and he will find you. Just put yourself out there and have fun.
@kky.x3 жыл бұрын
or your searching videos like this because you have relationship anxiety
@sardiniangirl18663 жыл бұрын
Men need to work on themselves internally so they can handle a mature grown up relationship !
@Amysbiblereads3 жыл бұрын
I had this. A month ago. It was finally going somewhere but I followed your advice, didn’t chase and let him do what he needed to do to make it appear he’s in charge. He promised me so much. Asked me to be his girlfriend and then ghosted me! I think he expected me to chase him! Not a chance. Deleted and moved on. Can’t be dealing with it.
@808Fee3 жыл бұрын
good for you! Waste of energy and time!
@bratzsnoopy3 жыл бұрын
He showed his true colors
@Mindimalist3 жыл бұрын
He sounds indeed like a feminine man who wants to be chased. Yiak.
@eL.N.M.3 жыл бұрын
Glad you know your worth 👏❤️
@michellewall67483 жыл бұрын
Well done you!
@cece19072 жыл бұрын
Ghosting is a form of abandonment and it’s abusive
@joannalopez5447 Жыл бұрын
Everything needs time, time to grow and develop naturally. A true relationship SHOULDN'T be forced or manipulated in any way. 🙏
@Hawelufamily3 жыл бұрын
If he needs space to reevaluate your relationship, give it to him. Go on with your life like you will be ok if you don’t reconcile. Wanting him but not needing him.
@melcab14333 жыл бұрын
But how though if it's a relationship ? .. should I not pick up calls ? Allow him to come over? Etc
@Hawelufamily3 жыл бұрын
@@melcab1433 Its really really hard to do. But you have to value what you need from the relationship more than your connection that is not what you need. It's hard, but what you need matters.
@captainswan30793 жыл бұрын
Preach it sista!
@2sides_2everystory3 жыл бұрын
Any man we have to *change our natural behaviors for* ISN'T the one for us. ❤ Be you, sis. We spend so much time and energy trying to figure out what they want from us but you rarely see men doing the same. Let's take the ball out of their court.
@CeceLove083 жыл бұрын
this is such genius advice omg !!!
@thelookout58023 жыл бұрын
❤️it, especially the last sentence. A gem I'm keeping..
@captainswan30793 жыл бұрын
👌❤
@nlewis41963 жыл бұрын
Indeed!
@susane945 Жыл бұрын
So true!
@carolmaz86753 жыл бұрын
If a guy wants to ghost help him do it disappear and don’t contact a ghost bec guess what ghosts are dead 😀 focus on someone alive and there for you x
@purplesoul99273 жыл бұрын
🎯👏👏👏👏👏👏😇🏆
@tempest00783 жыл бұрын
True, but learn from it so it doesn't happen again. Sometimes ghost never leave the haunted mansion. Don't let his ghost repeat in others, you know what I mean?
@purplesoul99273 жыл бұрын
@@tempest0078 🎯👏👏👏👏🏆another gem, say that point 👍
@jenniferabur19923 жыл бұрын
Haha 😂 true story 😅😅😅💯💯👌🏾🎊
@Tarotblackcat3 жыл бұрын
A weak dead guy..😂 karma will find him
@SuperLuckao Жыл бұрын
A great guy knows how to communicate and explain his need for space. He will know how his actions are likely to affect u. I don't want an immature guy that can't explain what's on his mind. I like a mature vulnerable man.
@janataylor6869 Жыл бұрын
This!!! Communication is key!
@lucydaisyandme2 жыл бұрын
If he ghosts you move on!! Love yourself first. If a relationship takes a lot of work chances are you need to move on.
@lilisetyarini78503 жыл бұрын
Most of men that I met were all complicated and unsure about themselves, that's why I stay single for years, I'm waiting for the right man to meet, I have zero energy dealing with an unsure and immature man
@auravergeldedios83113 жыл бұрын
A good guy won't ghost
@nhl42643 жыл бұрын
100 fact!
@Freespiritedqueen3 жыл бұрын
Yes!
@coffeeandculinaryjourney7913 жыл бұрын
But if a good guy finally ghost you, its because something happened that he feels wrong and dont like about you. But if he said that to you, he afraid that he might be fighting with you. Ghosting is an unacceptable behaviour of man. But the only thing we can do is let him go. Dont ask or cry and dont show that you cant live without him. Just move on. Brian knox videos are most right!
@ShelbyArtist3 жыл бұрын
Very true.
@talkswithtee33973 жыл бұрын
Facts
@innervoicejargon Жыл бұрын
Seriously I was traumatised when my ex ghosted me. It is one hundred percent immature. It’s damaging behaviour. I had another guy do the same and I just didn’t have the time for it. It does being out the worst in me. But like it’s just bad manners. If they guy is freaked out, he needs to tell you, if the guy is worried about commitment and has been leading you down the garden parth. He needs to communicate. I have never ghosted and there is no reason to do it. This is just excuses. I get scared in love too, we all do. You need to learn to control that fear. If he can’t do that, nope not mature enough.
@missminti3 жыл бұрын
Ghost= ANOTHER WOMAN
@nicolameikle39763 жыл бұрын
Yip !! Mine just ghosted me for someone new xx
@mileyroe48773 жыл бұрын
Exactly!
@samisbuzin3 жыл бұрын
*women/options
@nailpolishinhale3 жыл бұрын
Sure is unfortunately
@ImaginationTravelTips3 жыл бұрын
Not necessarily. This video even explains why it’s not the case.
@nurarich49453 жыл бұрын
this is how I treat men now days if I am not important to him he is not important to me,i don’t overeact I just keep it moving.I do this due to a heartbreak I went through few years ago.i just look at men now like flawed human beings just like the rest of mankind,I used to idolize them so much,I guess it was immaturity from my part.we live and we learn
@sansadrake41333 жыл бұрын
Don't ever idolise men 🤢🤮
@mayamajhi78423 жыл бұрын
Same thing happened with him
@nurarich49453 жыл бұрын
@@sansadrake4133 I learned the hard way 😂
@sansadrake41333 жыл бұрын
@@nurarich4945 at least you learnt your lesson lol
@ladeedaa14193 жыл бұрын
Same. I match their energy right back to them. Even if I’m internally screaming “no don’t go” they’ll never know
@nutella8713 жыл бұрын
IT IS SO HARD. To walk away from someone unsure. It has been 6 months and I believe my actions were right, but my mind has him on replay.
@lizhenson40413 жыл бұрын
if he wanted to, he would. get feeling better ❤️
@Rene-po7im3 жыл бұрын
Bottom line is you deserve a man who is so sure that you're the one he wants. You want to be with a man who knows he wants you. If he's unsure, he's not seeing your value.
@murahkami Жыл бұрын
@@Rene-po7im💯💯💯💯
@Jillshinn3 жыл бұрын
This reminds me of a concept I heard about called “the wave.” The wave (of distancing) that can happen even with good men or ourselves, where we have a moment of needing to pull away and regroup, for some reason, or just because we have big feelings. I like the idea of not overreacting to that (in self or other). But like you said, it’s good to demote the person when that’s happening. If they come back ready for the big relationship, great (if you’re still interested). But I agree that ghosting is always a bad sign. Mature adults don’t do that.
@americafirst9144 Жыл бұрын
I'm in a relationship now, but if I was dating I wouldn't like how constantly texting each other could lead to a false sense of intimacy in a relationship. You are strangers getting to know each other. Do it slowly. Do it right.
@k.l.88043 жыл бұрын
This happened to me. He nearly shat his pants... I gave him space. And didn't get MY needs met for months. Until he finally broke up with me. Screw this advice. Is the woman the only person to be accomodating to a mans past wounds? He can grow a pair, do some therapy and take responsibility for his own past... Not me. Not again.
@kristinej.4182 Жыл бұрын
I agree with you!
@berncl65403 жыл бұрын
He gave me the classic "I'm going to replace my phone." reason. It's been two years guess he hadn't gotten around replacing his phone😂. But seriously it gutted me. I wanted closure so much, answers to my whys but eventually accepted that him ghosting me was the answer and the closure.
@emanaturalsaus3 жыл бұрын
I wanted closure too but all I got was a big lie and another lie after lie. We are not going to get the 'honest closure' we need, anyways. They moving on fast. The only closure we need is to move on even faster remember ladies MOVE ON.
@Freespiritedqueen3 жыл бұрын
He was a chump then, no honor in doing that! Dishonorable and cruel.
@anastasiabeaverhousin79623 жыл бұрын
@@emanaturalsaus yep if you stick around it’s all lies and more lies.
@tempest00783 жыл бұрын
It was enough right?
@jessicas.3023 Жыл бұрын
"Any man that, for any reason under the sun, is unsure of wanting a long-term relationship with you IS NOT important, romantically speaking." 👏
@hjtres72613 жыл бұрын
So in summary, dating is like living in a house made of unpinned grenades.
@laluna4243 жыл бұрын
😄 spot on. Welcome to today's dating world.
@ptyszkremem3 жыл бұрын
Exactly
@mukahirwajanet66173 жыл бұрын
Once the pin is pulled out, boom 😀😀😀
@SeaC-ko1mp3 жыл бұрын
I had to laugh at this one. Kudos, that was good, lol.
@2sides_2everystory3 жыл бұрын
🤣😄😆 right? Screw the games
@jenniferl.57463 жыл бұрын
If he tests me, he is childish... That is when I lose interest
@tempest00783 жыл бұрын
A man should test like a woman test, but sometimes theirs is stupid.
@normashaw36523 жыл бұрын
I enjoyed your advice just what I needed. I am in a long distance relationship. . My guy was a high profile guy and I never in my wildest dreams thought a man of his class and integrity will behave like a spook Everyday he would make me feel soo special and let me know he was crazy about me. I received endless pics and videos. I really starting loving this man. I had not been in a relationship since my divorce fourteen years ago. I trusted him respected him and was very proud of him. He told I am the full package and I am everything a man is looking for in a woman. He just went quiet and ignored my messages. Anyway I became worried and missed him and kept looking at my phone dropped a line or more out of concern. After two days he answered . Not in the sweet way he would normally chat. He was away a few days and retuning to his place of work. He wrote, On a flight back . "I am tired. Hope you had a great Sunday. ". Not a word about boo or baa. . That's it . We were chatting just over four months. I refuse to answer. So glad I watched this video. Even good men are creepy..
@myramilton18333 жыл бұрын
Not true
@paulinemuiruri3853 жыл бұрын
Sadly every man will test you there is no exceptions
@Jewellianna3 жыл бұрын
9:45 is a gem 💎 👏👏 “...which is fine, you should just be yourself. But this makes me like you less of course”.
@Brownbeauty423 жыл бұрын
I love you!!!!! Lol
@getitdownpat3 жыл бұрын
It really is. This man is helping me soooo much with my relationships! He's the best I've found thus far.
@hotcut66303 жыл бұрын
Good thing I found this vid before I confront my man and freaked out. 😂
@amyb35853 жыл бұрын
I’m gonna play that on a continual loop
@Shushan913 жыл бұрын
I did so, six months later he asked if I was angry that he disappeared. I said that I see no reason for being angry. Then he asked if that means I forgot him, I said that I never forget people I had relationship with. He was confused....
@antoniarashida3 жыл бұрын
You are worthy of a beautiful love story ❤️
@Syeda087883 жыл бұрын
I hope so. I'm 29 and have never been in love. 😕
@antoinettefrontino79763 жыл бұрын
So sweet! Thank you! ❤
@dosesandmimoses3 жыл бұрын
but don't tell them they are beautiful haha
@amyyellowrose27983 жыл бұрын
My boyfriend ghosted me few times during our 3 years relationship. I can forgive him and now he is angry with me and blaming me. He said he always love me. But I'm not dumb to accept and forgive him. Blocked him and I'm trying to move on. I'm okay now, there are times when I cry in my room but I'm moving on.
@messrsandersonco59853 жыл бұрын
I'm surprised it lasted three years. Don't waste your time on men who aren't worrth your time and energy.
@amyyellowrose27983 жыл бұрын
@@messrsandersonco5985 because I was stupid to forgive him whenever he cameback and tell me he's sorry and how much he miss me. When he ghosted me again and again I felt like I was being played by him. I don't want him back. No more pain and suffering
@nurarich49453 жыл бұрын
@@amyyellowrose2798 don’t take him back for your own sake,he will break you until there’s nothing left.
@amyyellowrose27983 жыл бұрын
@@nurarich4945 true. I will not let him ruin my life anymore. He told me he loves me all the time but he was just using me for his own convenience. During my difficult time he is not with me but when he's down he's expecting me to be there for him. I've had enough and I just want to heal. Being single is better than being in a broken relationship
@maridenlazaro91893 жыл бұрын
So powerful a message out here. That exactly what happened to me. 'Want him but dont need him. Move on with your life girl'...there is so much more to life than sticking your nose holding on to uncertainty. And most of all while moving on, just rest it all up to God. Continue to do good things and just be awfully best in everything and the right one will be there whoever and whatever thats meant for us. Thank you Brian Nox
@verab27003 жыл бұрын
Yes!! So true! Thank you for this reminder!
@808Fee3 жыл бұрын
I gotta say there ARE signs before you get dumped. Happened to me and in retrospect I should have known. Why haven't I? I was blindly in love with this guy. I was not willing to take a step back and re-evaluate the situation. Had I done this, I would have drawn the line immediately. And yes, I got needy af, not my everyday baseline behavior at all.😑 Great video, btw. 👍🏻
@sansadrake41333 жыл бұрын
But why get needy for someone who basically dont care if you exist or not. Never understand why women do this
@808Fee3 жыл бұрын
@@sansadrake4133 It's not a gender thing, trust me. I've had plenty of males chase after me even tho I clearly said I wasn't interested. Love, hope and hormones can render any human life form irrational. Hindsight is always 20-20. The older you get, the more cautious and rational you become. It's unfortunate, but also inevitable.
@sansadrake41333 жыл бұрын
@@808Fee i would say there are more women who do this though than men.. and yeh i guess so..
@naimam3976 Жыл бұрын
@@808Fee i agree with you, its like the guys you actually dont care about are stuck on u like glue even if you show them you are not intrested by your actions. While we chase the ones that are not that into us... Ugh
@tsitsichanakira13843 жыл бұрын
The level of importance should always match .....i heard that ,thank you !!!
@Freespiritedqueen3 жыл бұрын
Yes honey 👏🏽💯
@milesnolan91883 жыл бұрын
I'm a 60 year old female.My aunt used to say if a guy really loves u u won't have to question it .
@eliagudes26133 жыл бұрын
This is frustrating. Why do I have to pay for something another woman did, or for man not being ready to be in a relationship and him having psychological traumas? Everyone has a past. I shouldn’t have to methodically talk or act around him. It sounds like men are in a glass bubble and women have to be so careful not to break it. 🤷♀️
@ushere5791 Жыл бұрын
THIS. to me, it's all good info for why things didn't work out in the past--it explains a lot!--and even though i'm naturally an accommodating person, i refuse to walk tightropes and use scripts just to protect fragile men. if he's not strong enough to take me as i am, he can take a hike.
@amani74510 ай бұрын
09:45 to 10:50, such brilliant advice. Thank you so much, Brian. I thought there was no turning back if one accidently freaked out the guy.
@summmer773 жыл бұрын
Be rational on giving him the importance he deserves. Don’t hive him priority depending in your feelings, yet on how he treats you
@SamElle3 жыл бұрын
We definitely all have emotional scars from past relationships and experiences. There have been times when someone has done something to remind me of someone from my past and I was immediately turned off by him even though I know they're two different people. However, I have worked through these problems before and I come to my senses even though my initial reaction is RUN
@wildwoman49113 жыл бұрын
Thanks, Brian! Your suggested script here is brilliant in this situation of: "Look, you've changed. You used to (list specifics here) that I loved and you've stopped. And, that's totally fine, because, of course, I want you to just be yourself. AND, this makes me like you less, of course."** Saying it in this way works in all kinds of situations! I love it! I also loved your line "Ghosts are spooky" too! 🤣 **Wording edited to eliminate "but", which belongs to the old dualistic paradigm of either/or. There are always more than 2 options from which to choose. Also, edited wording to remove "you should" that phrasing contradicts giving him the freedom to behave how he wants.
@Divaulia57973 жыл бұрын
Hi Brian I'm 23 female from Indonesia, just wanna say that I watched all your videos and it helps me so much during my hard time after breakups. I also read most of your books and recommend them to my friends. I rarely write comments but I wanna say that your content is really helpful and soothing you might not know how much soul you've already helped. Please keep creating content like this!
@mehwishmehboob54833 жыл бұрын
Hey diva
@richricogranada96472 жыл бұрын
Yes, but please, marry your own kind.
@ItsAsparageese Жыл бұрын
@@richricogranada9647 The fuck is wrong with you? Yikes
@LORDCYNTHIAGUNDAN9 ай бұрын
I appreciate your comments. I do agree that man or woman will come and go in your life. Take it as an experience and the trill of SEARCHING which is fun rather being stock with your misery, because you lack self confidence or you are desperate or insecure. Love can be in a spar of a moment called attraction but TRUST, RESPECT, ACCEPTANCE, CONFIDENCE and COMFORTABILITY needs time to be nurtured while enjoying your partner into your life. Thank you for sharing.
@saragrauso99043 жыл бұрын
You can’t imagine how much this helped me, everything makes sense now
@misco663 жыл бұрын
You talk so much sense, but in a way that makes me smile. Thank you.
@costelloandlizzievolk2233 Жыл бұрын
This goes both ways:) Women can feel this way too from a man’s behaviour. People need to be understanding and communicate more on both ends. ❤
@Tfreeflow3 жыл бұрын
As a married woman, of 10 years, I can tell you that people change and past pains do come up, and this is the best way I have also learnt to respond.
@GlowBeautyWellness3 жыл бұрын
A good man will not ghost. Anyone that ghosts without a convo needs to do deep self exploration.
@Temporary3334 Жыл бұрын
Lireral gold. You're so awesome... you have completely tramsformed my thought procces for the better 🖤
@emanaturalsaus3 жыл бұрын
7:45 pre-ghost you yes. It has happened twice in 6 months before the final ghosting 6 months later. So it took a year of him 3 times ghosting waster of my time. Karma will sort it for him.
@emanaturalsaus3 жыл бұрын
Each time he apologised but no honesty there. Just empty apology & lies. No real honest, closure.
@Ciddux3 жыл бұрын
Love your videos but this is my favourite. You aptly described my situation. I did freak out but I gave him space. But he decided he wasn't good enough for me and I triggered him too much with regards to his ex. Though I miss him I have to try to move forward as someone who doesnt think they want a relationship with me is not important, just as you said!
@emanaturalsaus3 жыл бұрын
If it triggers his ex it means he is not over her yet. He's still in love with her.
@Ciddux3 жыл бұрын
Yep but not how she was at the end, only how she was at the start. He's in love with what they had and he can't let go of the future they planned, even though she was pretty horrible to him for over a year before they split up. But yeah he knows he's not over her, we had long chats about it. He's just very hurt and feels broken. Nothing I can do.
@sophiasummer73393 жыл бұрын
Never tell a man how you feel about him first. He must tell you first! If he doesn’t and it’s been 3 months, then pull away.
@barbie37273 жыл бұрын
Wow I love how you make me feel empowered and really make me aware of my rights regardless of my intense emotions! thank you so much for your heart-soothing advice and explaination!
@1991shelbycook3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much, Geert. You really help act as a voice of reason when I feel like "freaking out" due to this exact situation. The pain is real, no doubt. But your insight restores some of the lost confidence and disempowerment felt from being ghosted or ignored after opening up to the man I was dating...."this makes me like you less, of course" My mantra during this time!
@lamuel40043 жыл бұрын
Ghost = totally not responding to email ,calls, texts ,makes new dating profile in different town , comes back after 2 months when the new girl dumps him. 😆👻
@positivenergylife3 жыл бұрын
Or when you are in a new great relationship!
@hotcut66303 жыл бұрын
How timely is this for me and I could 100% relate because this is happening to me now, good thing I saw this video first before confronting him. Thank you for your videos Brian, it helps me a lot.
@deec4116 ай бұрын
I usually watch your whole video, but my man is all in. When I told him I wanted to be exclusive, he has stepped up in every way so I don't need to finish the video but I usually always do. thanks Brian for all of your great info 🤗🤗🤗
@nikamikano35123 жыл бұрын
It is true how often we forget that we all have previous experiences and they don't have to be great ones...
@SS-ly2bn3 жыл бұрын
Your videos are so helpful. I really like how you include a scenario and a response to his behavior. I am 50 and just getting back into the dating world after losing my husband ten years ago. Your information is much more logical than many of the other vloggers. Thanks!
@KatrinaImgraben11 ай бұрын
I agree! I’m in my early 60’s and I find Brian’s information so much more practical and logical than others also. Best of luck to you!
@phoebe_ouma3 жыл бұрын
I'm just here because I find Mr. Knox's content funny in an understated way . You just find yourself laughing even if it's not meant to be s joke. It's the way he says some things 😂 ❤
@reesespieces4503 жыл бұрын
Lol so true. He's unintentionally funny lool
@angelphonics11 ай бұрын
I love when he introduces his name and then his pen name
@abagailatkins27013 жыл бұрын
This is so true! You're definitely correct!
@bluenile70732 жыл бұрын
Ladies, this advice is so golden, many of you don't even realize it (judging from the comments). Let him come back to you, give him an ultimatum then it is up to him to decide to get real or walk. But let him know that you will walk if he does this sgain.
@spicesmiles3 жыл бұрын
Maybe when he's freaking out he could try saying how he feels, saying why he feels the way he does instead of running to a corner...? I mean how is this an encouraged thing...(im literally smiling) And if he doesn't know why he feels the way he goes, then that's ok, he may just need practice engaging with his feelings. Not sure the ladies 'made' him felt bad (but I also believe we create our emotions)- not talking about abuse here. Maybe he hadn't developed the ability to communicate feelings so the lady had no clue how to support him? Stuff like openness, vulnerability, talking honestly-considerately can really help people understand each other. Maybe...
@nicolejohnson62603 жыл бұрын
This! You don’t always need to run in the other direction!
@docrhodadelgado3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much! If he treats me as unimportant then I should treat him as unimportant too no matter how it hurts! I love 💘 this!
@victoriabarnett2423 жыл бұрын
So he's a good guy, reluctant and cautious and you need to act like you care less so that it lures him in...be super cooooool, calm and collected- even when he's pulling away. Tell him that you've sensed he's changed and that it's okay because he mustn't change who he is and then you move on.
@doloresvillagomez35493 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much ! Just brought me a clearer picture where I stand with the guy that I like !!👍❤️
@doloresvillagomez35493 жыл бұрын
@@robertoliver9585 Hello Robert yes It would nice to talk to someone!
@MizAlexandria3 жыл бұрын
Very important timely topic for me. I was already taking this approach but it felt reassuring that it’s best thing to do even though it doesn’t feel great.
@monkeymind39173 жыл бұрын
Brian, I love you! Thank you for being so amazing and giving me level headed info. Also, your voice is so soothing and gentle in a time where my anxiety is high! Thank you for being here for us all! ❤️
@ildikoegervari86643 жыл бұрын
I just wanna say thank you! You're doing such a great job! ☺️
@BeataJaszyk2 жыл бұрын
Thank You so much Brian 🙏 Greetings from Poland 🇵🇱 💞🌼
@sfoster48743 жыл бұрын
This is an excellent expose on a very frustrating situation. Thank you so much for unpacking it so well. I have had this happen to me twice in the last 20 years; and I still feel in retrospect, it was very unfair to me! Both gentlemen are no longer in my life - their choice. For the record, I wasn't then, and still am not "a scorpion" :( But this situation is caused by him going through something that effects the other person in the relationship, but he will not accept ANY input from her at all - so, if he decides to vacate the relationship, there's nothing the other person can do about it. It's really just part of life, but in reality, he was "the scorpion", relatively speaking. The "why" of it is fascinating and logical. I understand it logically, but still feel it's such an emotional let down :( Great work. Yes, it IS IMPORTANT not to chase a man with this opinion of wonderful me! Best for me to move on and make my life a better place for me :) Thanks so much!
@texaseregistered34633 жыл бұрын
I love his advice that I press the 👍 button, watch his videos to the end and watch all his ads plus bought his book on amazon. That’s how I appreciate his wisdom🥰🙏
@soundoflove193 жыл бұрын
I loved this! Really good advice. I just wanted to add that I’m a woman and that I’m the one usually getting spooked if anything was to remind me of my ex or thinking it might be a red flag. And then of course they feel it and then I pull away even further and then it’s usually over except I don’t ghost. I let them know :) But maybe if they weren’t as aggressive in trying to make it work, I would calm down eventually. Putting pressure on someone is probably not the best idea. Applies to both women and men.
@imagine_that_4335 Жыл бұрын
Thank you Brian, yes, very helpful at this moment in my life 😊
@thaiwithme89603 жыл бұрын
This is exactly my situation , he afraid i will be like his ex, pull away n rejected to date in real life after almost 7 months we have been talking 😔 his behaviour change..we are in breaking mode ..hurt but i need to move on...
@meganruchwatercolors71863 жыл бұрын
Me too in it right now and the slowly disappearing is an awful feeling! I am done no more ever!!! Never!
@thaiwithme89603 жыл бұрын
@@meganruchwatercolors7186 yes, better to focus von ourselves , i showed too much my feelings to him now im going back to focus on myself n know my worth..we deserve someone who value us , i wish you the best 🙌
@Stece0205 Жыл бұрын
Exactly what happened. Lesson learned
@nonalolagirl3 жыл бұрын
The first 40 seconds is my exact situation the past 2 months. Ugh. All was amazing and then he ghosted, then eventually told me he got scared and started to feel like he was bad for me. I wish I got this a month ago but what has passed was meant to be.
@nonalolagirl3 жыл бұрын
Update: I ignored most advice and trusted my instincts. A little over a month ago was when I decided to give him a sign that I was interested still, despite a month of ghosting from him. I sent him some music because that was our thing when we were together. He liked it and said we should talk and he felt bad about everything, ashamed of his behavior and he missed me so much. He disappeared for days with no word after that because it was the holidays and he has a very demanding job. I got impatient and told him how I felt about literally everything, the budding relationship, the ghosting, ect. That's when he said he got scared by his feelings. He had never experienced anything like that and didn't want to hurt me. So we didn't talk for a month since I posted this comment but I kept getting this feeling that we both were missing out on a great experience with each other. I tried to wait in that month for him to get some courage and reach out to me, because I don't want to be with a cowardly man and decided I would never reach out again and I would fully move on in the new year. Everything else about him is perfect besides that he finds his feelings for me frightening and he can't speak up about them. I focused on letting go and acceptancing of situations beyond my control. It was working but I still couldn't shake thoughts of him completely. My mind was letting go but my body was depressed. I finally reread our last messages and realized it looked like I wanted nothing to do with him. I knew he was thinking he should just leave me alone. So I decided to be crazy once again and message him, possibly scaring him off forever. After all that time of us both not talking to each other, I told him that I wanted to be with him. To my surprise he said he wanted to be with me too and we spent new years eve together. So far things are going strong in the new year. I don't feel attached to him any longer, I no longer feel like I can't live without him. That ghosting period and then that month where we both didn't talk allowed me to come back stronger as the person I want to be. He calls me multiple times a week now and asks to hang out. He tells me how he feels about me constantly. It's only been a week and a half but he seems to like me even more now. And I finally am functioning with logic and have peace and know I'll be fine even if things don't work out. Overall, Knox's over arching message is 100% true. Do not give more than you're getting in any relationship and never allow yourself to feel like you can't live without someone. Leave if your boundaries are being broken and you're being mistreated. I happened to meet a very good guy who checks off all of my boxes and I knew him well enough to know that I unfortunately had to do things a bit differently in my situation than the advice given here, since I knew it best. Maybe compromising on my desire to have the man be more aggressive in the beginning will come back to bite me later. But I know I become more feminine and let men take the lead when we finally get past the fear of confessing our desires to be together, so I'm never aggressive in the actual relationship and I don't have to compromise fully.
@alwaysattractinggreatthings3 жыл бұрын
@@nonalolagirl I too went through something like this for 2 1/2 years long distance relationship. He’s a lot younger than me. So I chased him. I am very independent woman . So I took the lead . His behavior was very off and he would ghost me . I would ask him about it. He would say I’m not a good man for you blah blah 😒 I’ve realized that I should of have been in my feminine energy and allowed him to chase me and pursued me . Unfortunately I learned this a little too late 🤷🏻♀️ I’ve let go and I’m now moving on . Lesson learned. lol 😆 oh well .. lol now I know better .
@nonalolagirl3 жыл бұрын
@@alwaysattractinggreatthings luckily we aren't long distance and we have known/liked each other for 5 yrs before we were ready for each other. It took a breakup for me and him growing into a good, mature man. I guess being a hero in his professional life and some past hurt makes him less aggressive in his romantic life. But I'll suspect I'll get tired and move on if he makes me feel like I have to be the aggressor again. When we're together he's not like that at all. All of the texting when hes on 14hr shifts and when I can't see him for 4 or more days can make things weird from time to time. Luckily things are still good despite the crazy hours. Live and learn for sure 😩 good luck out there. Being an independent woman who wants a partner is tough. I've been single longer than I can count.
@getawaywithpam2 жыл бұрын
You’re full of wisdom, always worth listening to your words 🤩🙏
@TaylorMeadowSun3 жыл бұрын
You are so good. This is the clearest advice I’ve found online 🙏🏽 Self integrity 101
@danikaclark72973 жыл бұрын
This was incredibly insightful. I was seeing someone who means a lot to me, we got deep very quickly. But I can see where I must have brought out his insecurities. Neither of us planned to fall for one another (we have an adorable history where we met as kids online and re-met after almost 15 years). The relationship was pivotal for both of us. (I believe he's my twin flame, whether you believe in it or not it's what I do) And after he pulled back I realized I had a lot I wanted to strive for. We both set to work on ourselves and healing, I still have hope for us of course but I just want to enjoy the moments I have with him, he still did his best to keep in contact. I'm comfortable with us as we are, I just want to grow to more in time. He's already opening back up again after he realized my reaction to his ghosting wasn't like his ex. Thank you for this, you really helped me understand some things I need to work on for any relationship in my future.
@danikaclark72972 жыл бұрын
@@kimgordon3695 Interesting! I've never heard the term limmerence but it was an interesting read! After my comment we actually talked things out, worked on ourselves (and continue to do so) and spend time together to get to relearn things and get to know things about one another instead of being intense like in the beginning. Recently we got together and are very happy. One of the most caring and calming relationships I've been in. It's been a great catalyst for some amazing growth in my life.
@bootscooty3 жыл бұрын
It may not be immature to not want to be with somebody because of something they do that reminds them of their EX, but it is very immature to ghost somebody. It's not okay to ghost somebody. Not unless they're obsessive and psycho which most people are not
@calliecutsinger88123 жыл бұрын
This has always been a constant struggle for me and thank you so much for sharing this!!
@deborahbrenizer56173 жыл бұрын
Give him space. He don't want to go from the frying pan to the fire.
@adonisq2 жыл бұрын
Thank You So Very Much, Herge. You totally speak my thoughts and affirmed that I am on the right track with giving my man the space he needs.
@s.aura.h80843 жыл бұрын
This happened to me... I said something that reminded a guy of his recent ex and he became avoidant and we broke things off a couple weeks later... It's not immature though, it's trauma that needs to be rewritten
@selmadebeer72723 жыл бұрын
I too found out why a relationship with someone on the rebound was a bad decision. Too many recent reminders of the other person. Healing time was the best love I gave myself. I healed, became emotionally whole, and met my soul mate, also healed and emotionally whole.
@helenellsworth95563 жыл бұрын
My man is a trucker, does he love me? I've no doubt, he can't text while driving, so he pulls his truck up just to text me 😊
@tempest00783 жыл бұрын
Mines will text me back, which I appreciate him doing, I just hope he keeps it up?
@AP-id4kg3 жыл бұрын
Awww that's so sweet
@lindacox41763 жыл бұрын
Very informative, thank you! I just went through this with my boyfriend. Circumstance number 2. He broke up with me.
@turkanismail18482 жыл бұрын
Amazing coach, so knows his stuff.
@NicoCollard43 жыл бұрын
I got ghosted in April, I had been in a 1 year relationship with my ex who told me what our future is going to be like and that we will never split up etc. One day he just went home and that was it he stopped all communication I couldn’t get hold of him, the pain was immense as I couldn’t understand what went wrong. Until around august he told me to leave him the F alone to his shit life and that he wanted something with me but plans didn’t fall in place and he wasn’t in a position to be in any relationship. I went through months of hurt, no closure, constantly crying over him for something he could of told me in April to of spared me some of the heartache. It’s taken me so long to really try to move forward, ghosting is the worst way to end relationships and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
@emmanuelokkaka63693 жыл бұрын
I know someone who can help you ☑️
@emmanuelokkaka63693 жыл бұрын
Message him on WhatzApp ☑️
@emmanuelokkaka63693 жыл бұрын
+2️⃣3️⃣4️⃣7️⃣0️⃣5️⃣7️⃣0️⃣9️⃣8️⃣4️⃣0️⃣1️⃣✔️
@angelicsparkles3 жыл бұрын
I hope you are experiencing healing, sorry this happened to you, thank you for sharing
@Time_to_Live_for_Joy5 ай бұрын
Love this❤❤❤!! Thank you so much for sharing!!
@wendydanh493 жыл бұрын
No matter how super busy I am or .... whatever is happening... as I see your video, I always stop doing my stuffs to watch your video
@Thenoobestgirl3 жыл бұрын
This is exactly what I needed to hear right now. Thank you!
@marie-charc64303 жыл бұрын
Watching this all over again thank you so much Brian💕🥰
@omarflores12 жыл бұрын
Thank you Brian Knox.
@sinhnguyen3102 жыл бұрын
I'm a Vietnamese, dating here in USA so complicated, I was seeing a guy who handsome, funny, I was so into him but it turned out he is toxic person, bad behavior, he didn't keep me but also didn't let me go ,He was a worst guy I've never ever dated before . I figured he happened to me because God want to taught me a lesson,I wasn't valuable my exes until I met him. Now I'm been going back to my ex boyfriend. I'm happy now
@madjackie523 Жыл бұрын
Geert, thank you so much for your videos. I wasted 10 years of my life being in love with a truly fantastic man who saw me as just an option. At least his behavior said so. There were clues throughout but I second guessed myself constantly and did my utmost to justify his behavior. I ended it, fortunately, but I've struggled a great deal with what I did wrong. I, obviously, don't want to do those things again, and your videos are helping me see what I did as well as interpreting his vocabulary. What I still don't understand is, why did he not communicate with me at all? I can't truly help a man if he will not tell me what is wrong or how I can help. His absolute lack of communication was one of the reasons I ended it. I'm actually quite angry about it still because, going forward, I am convinced no man will talk at all, and as soon as I ask, he'll assume I'm needy and shut me out for good and/or flee. Perhaps you've covered this in another video, but would you be willing to dedicate one video to recognizing men who do want to communicate, but may not know how, vs men who don't want to because it's their personality, vs bad men who only use women and their lack of communication is how they keep her at a distance. Any help from others would be appreciated too!!
@mobimanna Жыл бұрын
Dear Jacky, I am only responding bcos you specifically requested it. I coincidentally watched this video after going thru a similar situation and I handled it almost 100% as Brian advised but with my own words of course. Relationships could be quiet complicated even with the roght man. And how we handle challenges depends on the context, confidence level and power of communication. You cannot be your fully confident self when you're needy, scared or walking on eggshells in your dealings with men. You should understand that most men are not able to verbally express their feelings/emotions as we women do that is why it seems as if the women are doing most of the heavy lifing in this area. By this I am not referring to men saying a simple 'I love you' when all is going well but more importantly how they express their feelings when things aren't as well. As the woman and the better emotional communicator it's up to you to harness your innate prowess to your advantage. I can't possibly provide you with the exact words you should use in every kind of situation but you can follow a few guidelines or rules. Please let me know if you would want to know
@shilpa17413 жыл бұрын
First of all I love your voice ❤️ Thanks for your guidance Brian..you made me realise what all went wrong with me..when actually nothing was wrong..Thanks for reading my heart and brain dilemma❤️❤️
@sfoster48743 жыл бұрын
Your work is excellent! Thank you so much for helping women understand what is simply not logical to us. I especially like this video.