Interview with ESFP Dear Kristin: ESFP Stereotypes, ESFPs and INTJs, and ESFPs in relationships

#esfp #intj #personalitytype
✔Subscribe to Kristin here: / @dearkristin
Questions asked:
🤔Kristin, as we know, ESFPs are the worst; but can you dispel ESFP rumors for the audience? Why are they actually the best?
🤔Since you are Type obsessed, I heard that have a whiteboard in the kitchen with everyone's types on full display. What are your roommate's types and how does that make an interesting dynamic in the house?
🤔People may not be aware, but the INTJ and ESFP have the same top 4 cognitive functions, but in a different order. Talking to us and observing us in the wild, you wouldn't have any idea. Do you think this highlights the importance of knowing Type?
🤔What does an ESFP need in a relationship?
🤔For someone that does so many skits, the one thing that is overlooked is the wardrobe. How much energy goes into your wardrobe? Do you need to buy more clothes just for the skits?
🤔If you were putting together a dream team, what 3 other types would you choose, including yourself?

[@hfortenberry]

INTJ here. Anyone else notice how he low-key turned that stack of books behind him towards towards the camera so we could see their titles better? We do love showing off our knowledge. 😉

[@abhinavprabhakar455]

lol. I was wondering that too

[@buchelaruzit]

As an intj I have a newfound appreciation for esfps. Also don’t stop representing us wearing black, it’s accurate.

[@GhostofJung]

Same here- they bring alot to the table. And I won't, we have to represent!

[@Twelly93]

I do navy blue and gray alot too. Am I the only one?

[@GhostofJung]

Yep only person

[@sirbradfordofhousejones]

Dear Kristin absolutely nailed her answer about what an esfp needs in a relationship. So very true. On both the positives and a negatives. 👏

[@-EvaRose.]

So great to learn a little more about 'Dear Kristin' and Esfp in general - You can see she is really enjoying the discussion, the vibe she brings forward is stellar👍😊 great chat! Thanks. - an Infj

[@GhostofJung]

Yes she really was and honestly, we don't get to hear much from the ESFPs, it's mostly just our prejudices against them. Glad she was able to dispel some rumors for us!

[@nerysghemor5781]

LOL, and I "N out" on conversations that get too down in the weeds or on everyday items where I can't see a bigger point to it. It gets especially challenging when my mom (ESTJ) wants to talk about hair care routines, clothes, making sure everything is tidy, and I'm just privately screaming inside (even more so if she's trying to tell me what to do). For me, if I don't see a good reason for something besides "because I said so" then I'm likely not to do it. Like cleaning the dishes and putting them in the dishwasher instead of leaving a big stack and doing it all at once when I finally start running out of stuff. It was only when I actually GOT ants last week that I was able to take that seriously because until that I had put it down to exaggeration to try and MAKE me do something. Now, I have more of an internal motivation to do it and I know the cause and effect in that case is actually real. It's like...although Si is in my stack, I don't fully trust it until I have hard proof that the "tradition" has sense behind it rather than being arbitrary, a personal preference/pet peeve, or a control mechanism/power trip. In contrast I see no reason to bother folding my socks in pairs when I can just buy a whole bunch of the same sock at the same time, and just grab them when I need them without having to fuss. I really cannot see a good argument why my system, which is faster, is inferior. --INFP

[@GhostofJung]

I definitely N out as well. I just need the high level and we can proceed. Obviously, there are many times where this has proven detrimental for me

[@pugninja7037]

She's so lovely, love her channel..

[@GhostofJung]

a hidden gem! But not for long...

[@pugninja7037]

@@GhostofJung for sure, good luck to her..

[@michellehansen2641]

I've found the best way to understand each function, and even type, is to hear about it from someone with that dominant function. So great to understand lead Se at last! Also kristin's house sounds awesome. And very extraverted haha.

[@GhostofJung]

Yeah! Exactly. Was the reason I needed her to come on and talk about what its like to be an Se dominant type. Her house sounds amazing and would be so funny to see someone new walk into her house and all 4 of them try to Type them immediately.

[@melissawalker4093]

I love this! Thank you so much. I am an INTJ and my oldest daughter is an ESFP. Lol my Husband is an INTP and my youngest is an ESFJ. I can totally relate to all of this.

[@graycmay709]

ENFJs are full of energy for people and tasks! I work with one, she's amazing.

[@Mart-Bro]

Great chat, and a great example of a mature ESFP and how smart and well rounded they can be when they integrate their INTJ and ISFJ sides

[@GhostofJung]

Exactly! DK makes me rethink all ESFPs

[@Mart-Bro]

@@GhostofJung Pretty sure Gary Vaynerchuk is an ESFP. And Tony Robbins potentially as well. I think if they can get that NT stuff integrated they can be really formidable

[@GhostofJung]

Gary could be. Tony robbins after reading his books screams ENTJ. With titles like Unlimited Power and Unleash The Giant Within, he had to be entj 😇

[@Cellder]

Great interview, loved Kristin's answers. The brownie friend sounds like an ENFP 🤣

[@GhostofJung]

that impression cracked me up so much

[@charliefoxtrotsky4104]

1:52 I think this is a very important point and displays that we all need each other. I have a lot of trouble with all my thoughts, time and effort applied to "the future" and almost no time spent enjoying the moment or now. I literally NEED the influence of an ESFP person to increase my quality of life.

[@GhostofJung]

It's something we all need to work on ---incorporating other types into our lives as a conscious effort.

[@kadsenvieh]

We (ESFPs) have Ni inferior so we actually often DO NOT know what we want to do in life...failure to launch syndrome is a big problem for us (not always but often). Fi is more where our morals are...we can make fast decsisions on if someone or something is a good or a bad thing.

[@GhostofJung]

hell yeah thank you for sharing this!

[@kadsenvieh]

@@GhostofJung borrowed from CS Joseph there but he is right about this. I had a long journey to accept that i am an ESFP. I didnt want to but i rly am and that is what we want to accomplish with that whole typing thing. We want to know how we can be a better person. you can only do that if you admit that you are vulnerable. in my ESFP case this is for example the lack of Ti Logic or Ni Willpower. it will set u free.

[@rocketassistedgoat1079]

@@kadsenvieh We all have weaknesses mate. My dad's an ESFP, and he's always on. A lot of my work ethic I've learnt from him, such as: every thirty minutes feed my Se (which is work/being in the moment). 30 off, 20 on is a good ratio. Any more than that, and it becomes too difficult making up lost time. As an INTJ, I base my entire existence around avoiding the Sensory, lol. I just want to live permanently in my Ni. I also don't really like gathering-another Se activity. A way around this, is that I listen to several hrs worth of KZbin's/ones where listening is enough-I don't have to watch: whilst doing that work thing I mentioned every thirty minutes. The final frontier though: is finding new music. I can't stand mediocre or forgettable music, and, to quote the best art teacher I ever had: "90% of all art is rubbish". Listening to forgettable or bad music: is like dropping metal pans in front of me. It makes me irrationally angry, I HATE it. It really clashes with my Ni, which is the function that narrows what Se finds, sorting the wheat from the chaff. I think this is why most people after 30: just spend the rest of their lives listening to the same music. The scale of finding undiscovered timeless gems, is hard to fathom. I once tried to find a song called Stay, from a local band in my CITY. Should be easy, right? Nope, turns out on Spotify there are OVER 600, like 633 songs called "Stay". Just listening: isn't a solution-there's just too much out there. I have a theory, that '80's music was so good-there was ALWAYS something good on the radio, because the gatekeepers-the record execs etc: possessed uncommon taste. "Taste is rare, few possess it"-Immanuel Kant. So I don't know what to do about that. I've only ever known one person who possessed both a massive music collection AND immaculate taste, the ex husband of my ex fiance: so going through that is out of the question. When it comes to taste, most people miss most of the time. So going to friends for music suggestions: isn't an option.

[@french-ishtoast]

Tell em Kirsten! We ESFPs are da best >:D

[@baronvonlichtenstein]

ESFPs are cuute. (INTJ)

[@GhostofJung]

They are so cute

[@kyurei4478]

Great video ! I found the moment where you talked about how you see ENFJs compared to ENTJs very interesting. As an INFJ myself, I have a very good relationship with ENFJs. And indeed, I think the relation of Ni with Fe or Te produces vastly different results. And you talked about how ENTJs will tipically directly say if something is going to work or not while ENFJs prefer to give the benefit of the doubt and keep things more uncertain regarding the ideas which could work. But Being INFJ, I can say that's the way Ni manifests for me as well. In the same way that ENTJs and also INTJs I believe already know something will not work thanks to Ni, ENFJs and INFJs already know it could work thanks to it. So I totally see why you may think they're mistyped ENFPs based on that and why you could logically think it looks more like a Ne. But it's definitelly still a Ni. In my experience, I've found many times myself saying to non Ni types or Ne types that I know something will not work, just like like an ENTJ would do and an ENFJ as well I'm sure. The thing is it's probably not as easy to spot on as it is for I/ENTJs because it's less affirmed because Ti is probably more detached than Fi. But as Kristin said, you can succeed to notice it sometimes, even if it's more shy. It's not an Ne because it restreings the possibilities just like an I/ENTJ but looking from an I/ENTJ perspective, it probably looks like it doesn't because it's not as decisive or "strict". The best way to picture it I would say is to see it on a different side of the spectrum where I/ENTJ would be on a more extreme position compared to I/ENFJ. And it's probably the biggest difference of view between I/ENFJ and I/ENTJ I would say. My personal theory on why it is this way is that it probably depends on the main subject of those types: Fe being centered around people and Te around systems. In the case of Te, Ni is directly focused on predicting which idea will be the most effective while in the case of Fe, Ni is focused on predicting which idea will bring the most happyness. I'm not sure but maybe it will be more rare to find two equally efficient systems rather than finding two ideas that can bring as much happyness. And that could explain why I/ENTJ are generally more decisive and I/ENFJ more open with the use of their Ni in their lifestyle.

[@coolamericano]

she was right about about the experiences adult ESFP's Ni likely to be more precise than Ni users due to a lot of Se experience

[@enfieldjohn101]

Lovely hat, Joe! Interesting contrast between ESFP and INTJ both in what Kristin and you say and in how you two behave here.

[@GhostofJung]

But we are great friends and work so well together

[@enfieldjohn101]

Which is fantastic and interesting. Sometimes, it's the differences that make friendships work. I don't know about you, but I often get along better as friends with someone who is almost the opposite of me. Something about their strengths helping my weaknesses and vice versa, I expect. @@GhostofJung

[@hfortenberry]

This was interesting. I would like to be a bit more like ESFPs and I definitely do enjoy and love being around you all in small doses (and yes I may have had a few ESFP crushes in my youth)! The way I have been unbalanced in my life as an INTJ is by just avoiding Se tasks, like doing the dishes or mowing the grass, because I just don’t want to do them because it takes me away from my Ni/Te projects or Fi/Se indulgences (like watching KZbin right now when I need to be doing the dishes and cooking dinner). But then when I DO do them, it feels soooo good and I’m SOOO proud of myself! 😂 Then the next day I’m like “WTF, I have to do the dishes again?!” 😟 Damnit!!

[@furumetaru0232]

as an istj the experience thing is super true. sometimes i try to do stuff just to gain the experience

[@GhostofJung]

I see that with ISTJs as well. They really like to do alot of outdoor activities

[@furumetaru0232]

@@GhostofJungI love to do them for the emotional experience. Like I want to just go out and do something like a walk to have that emotional experience with someone. But I also try to do stuff like odd jobs and stuff to expand my own understanding and stuff.

[@restlessmosaic]

No comment to date has mentioned Kristin's use of "hooligan" at 17:27. It is an excellent word, and I support its use in yarns, japes, and other genera of shenanignans.

[@emmamayolive]

Great job Kristin! Also an ESFP.. love it ❤

[@alexandra9944]

1:57 I think it's interesting that ESFPs wear their hearts on their sleeves because Fi is a very private function. Is it the Se-Fi combo then?

[@GhostofJung]

Yes I think its more Fi-Se than it is Fi-Te

[@jameswilkerson4412]

If I do-wear my heart on my sleeve-can I still be an INTJ? (I mean, depends on how strong a given emotion is, of course)

[@GhostofJung]

Sometimes you might, but I'd say it'd be rare

[@ethanpintar5454]

Well, Fe is more about paying attention to the emotions and wants of other people, so if someone had Fe in their stack they wouldn't "wear their heart on their sleeve" as much, they'd do things according to what the community and their friends are feeling. Fi pays attention to your own emotions, so having Fi means they do things according to what *they* want.

[@lutlla3361]

i like esfp even if they are so different from me they can be caring and listen to you for hours so if they talked listen to them please, and sometimes can forgive so much that I'm amazed at how can they do that , even if you hurt them and made them cry if your a close friend or member of the family they will comeback and even apologize sometimes i thought esfp can easily cry a lot or say how they feel when they are sad but i was surprised they cant cry IN front of people and me entj i cry around people (close) more than her , she learned to cry infront of us from me

[@SpaceKestrell]

Another interesting ‘difference in slots’ scenario is the Ne in and ENFP vs INTP. To really get my Ne going as an INTP, it seems I need to be with really close friends or in a situation where I really don’t care about being more extroverted than normal. Or just really tired. ‘The best adventure ideas are fueled by fatigue induced inspiration.’

[@GhostofJung]

Fatigue induced inspiration lmaooo

[@jameswilkerson4412]

I remember the “what are your passions” part of was it the 4th cognitive function video? Seemed like what you’d do as yourself!

[@cuzzy08]

Great video! :) Really enjoyed the questions and answers!

[@HexagonSun990]

I really love esfp's! also I still don't know what type I am and it's frustrating!!

[@GhostofJung]

Message me: [e-mail]

[@rezamahendra7746]

I think you are INFP type 🤔

[@jameswilkerson4412]

Dear Kristen, so you see yourself as a “natural” teacher, because it involves interaction with others and promoting growth?

[@t.t.105]

joe as we know, intjs are the worse type

[@GhostofJung]

Confirmed

[@TheHashSlingingSlasher548]

Fe user looking after themselves? We don't do that here.

[@tenore85]

So what type is Kristen in a relationship with?

[@GhostofJung]

ENTJ

[@MeadeVlogchannel]

Are you ever interviewing ISFP types ?

[@GhostofJung]

Yes sir: kzbin.info/www/bejne/a6itd3iqpad-iq8