INTJs love ESFPs: Relationship and Friendship Compatibility

This video discusses why INTJs love ESFPs in all aspects of relationships whether it's platonic friendships or romantic relationships.
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[@SeanIsCrispy]

This video is sooo relatable. As an INTJ I can say from my personal experience the only time that I enjoy an ESFPs company is when its time to party and have fun but everything else is a pain to deal with. I really admire their ability to socialize with anyone and I've learnt alot about socializing from observing their behavior and peoples reaction to them but aside from that ESFPs to me are annoying, loud, arrogant, ignorant and obnoxious. Having a sensible meaningful conversation with an ESFP is like slamming your head into a brick wall, painful and you get no where with the conversation. I typed alot of my siblings as ESFPs and when they took the test It was always confirmed and from then on I can spot an ESFP within seconds of meeting them.

[@justcallmejon22]

I'm glad to hear another INTJ that enjoys the company of ESFPs! Trust me when I say that I agree with everything you wrote but the primary focus of this video is to only focus on the positives. They feel the same about us, I've heard them say it too many times but I still love them 😂

[@BonitoJoe111]

I can describe this pair in four words... High risk, high reward. When it fails, it can be extremely aggravating as it seems like we misunderstand each other constantly even though we (usually) mean well for each other. But when it works, we get opened to so many vast and exciting perspectives. Also as you stated, they're just fun to watch in action, like a living cat video. And they know how to lighten your mood even when you don't think you need it. Not to mention, though it may not always seem like it, ESFPs can be surprisingly profound and philosophical when they REALLY feel it. It's just they don't like dwelling on such topics for too like because they're too busy trying having fun in the right here and now. The MBTI community likes to view them as mortal enemies to INTJs, but really, they complement each other in, while uncomfortable at first, shocking and revealing ways.

[@justcallmejon22]

'High risk, High reward', I love that!

[@xel9345]

My partner is an INTJ, myself ESFP. We've lived together for 5 years. I'll say...the highs are HIGH and the lows are LOW. 😊 its the best friendship I've ever had. We just "get" each other. He balances me out AND brings me back to reality.

[@justcallmejon22]

It really is a love-hate relationship and I'm glad to hear that you two found a way to make it work out 😀

[@rakshithphotography9907]

Do you guys feel regret? Or do you feel it was good decision

[@rakshithphotography9907]

Who has longlasting enthusiasm ESFP or INTJ

[@romanlee8287]

My best friend is an ESFP. We've been buddies for 20 years now... he gave me a social life when I was younger!

[@justcallmejon22]

Yeah! They're the best at that 😁

[@The-Labbed-Life]

Halleluia it's the first time I see an INTJ talking about this pairing! I'm an INTJ, and my best friend is an ESFP. I can honestly say that all my social skills now comes from analyzing her hahaha. Thanks to her, I'm a much better person and my Fi and Se have improved a lot. She's always here to remind me to take a break and live in the moment. I appreciate that a lot. We've been friends for 4 years now and the introduction was exactly like you described it haha. I was so intrigued, I followed the flow and we became friends (she basically took me under her wing as she 5 years older than me). The first year, we were both like "how can you live this way, I don't understand you!" and it led to many funny/annoying situations XDD Now, we really became a powerful duo, we complement each other and learn from each other a lot. I also really admire ESFPs for their way of always getting the spotlight so naturally, there is really a natural charisma. I always joke to my friend that if we were artists, she would be the person on stage and I would be in the background organizing everything or that she's the sun and I'm the moon, Anyway, as someone really focused on being my better version, being around people opposite to me is more that helpful, it's necessary and I have a tendency to do that naturally. So, I recommend other INTJs to go out a bit out of our comfort zone and investigate.

[@justcallmejon22]

Well said and I'm always happy to hear about other INTJs that have close ESFP friends/family members! They really do help us develop into a more complete human being. I hope your ESFP is still in your life and that you two keep going on adventures together 😊

[@rakshithphotography9907]

How about a marriage life of INTJ male with ESFP female Would he regret?

[@The-Labbed-Life]

@@rakshithphotography9907 it’s a tricky question because it depends on the 2 persons I would say that if both really know each other and know what to expect from each other, being healthy communicators It can go really well But if they don’t, it can go bad as well. In a relationship, there are more work to do because it’s basically living a life together compared to a friendship where each of them go home after hanging out etc In the end, I believe that any personality can get along with each other and are compatible but it completely depends on what you need in a relationship For example, I have a friend who is enfp and his bf is intj, they’re known to be incompatible but they make it work because it’s what they want from each other

[@rakshithphotography9907]

@@The-Labbed-Life thank you somuch for the reply I am Rakshith, an INTJ Male I am from india Which part of the world are u from I have been into MBTI and its most interesting thing to me Btw ENFP-INTJ relation is one of the most compatible one it is infact said Most natural Pair My Father is an ENFP and my best friend is also ENFP as well We get each other pretty well Yes there are a few downsides too as in any pair

[@The-Labbed-Life]

@@rakshithphotography9907 I’m French but live in Spain Yeah, it made me understand my personality a lot. I’m also surrounded my enfp friends

[@moneymanagement24]

The KZbin channel dear Kristin is an ESFP you should try to do a talk together that would be a dynamic duo

[@justcallmejon22]

I love her videos! I hope we collaborate one day, I don't feel like I'm a big enough channel for her to care yet 😅

[@megham11]

I've been realising how important having an ESFP cousin my age to play on sports teams with helped me SO much as a child in terms of learning how to socialise.

[@justcallmejon22]

Agreed! We learned so much just from being around them in hindsight 😁

[@moneymanagement24]

My dad is an ESFP and he lives for the moment and was a great sales person. Very pairing in my experience. I love your cat that’s the most INTJ thing I’ve seen lol

[@justcallmejon22]

I hope you took notes from you dad, they really are the best at making people feel comfortable. My cat says, "meow" which I think is code for "hi" 😺

[@gabo6713]

My wife is an ESFP. Sometimes she drives me crazy as hell, but she always makes me smile.

[@justcallmejon22]

Congrats on finding yourself an ESFP! They do always find a way to make us smile if they care enough 😀

[@GapModel1]

My wife is also an ESFP and we are in the middle of a divorce. Odds are that your relationship is ticking time bomb. Bet you made the same mistake I did and marry her purely for her looks. There is nothing an ESFP can offer an INTJ and ESFP just can't appreciate the intelligence of an INTJ. My advice to you is unless she is in her late 30s, prepare for a divorce because she will likely cheat on you. She don't appreciate your intelligent and you will not be able to fulfill her emotional needs. Sooner or later she will find someone who does a way better job at fulfilling her emotional needs and she will jump in bed with him because ESFP are impulsive and that's what they do.

[@edimenn]

@@GapModel1 ​What about woman ESFP in late 30s, ? I met one which appreciate intelligence and is able to talk deeply on many topics. She improves my SE and Socializing, not only that but showed me few interesting hobbies and books. What do you think about is the ESFP desire to jump beds, is it sex, attention, respect ?

[@GapModel1]

@@edimenn There are always exception but why would you want to date someone in her 30s? Also you have to consider that ESFP are very good at reading you than displaying themselves as the person of your desire which only last in the short term. Also you have to ask yourself if you can actually provide them with the extrovert life they desire in the long term. Like I said there are always exception but chances is that it's not gonna be you. Of-course nothing wrong with just dating but marriage is a different story because there is a good chance you gonna end up losing half the things you work your whole life for.

[@edimenn]

@GapModel1 Few good points there. For daiting women in their 30s allot of reasons there, but mainly independence and life perspectives. Are you referring to extroverted life parties and social events? Did your ESFP had any involving hobbies like sports or traveling? Marriage is not mandatory and not modern nowadays.

[@enlightenmentbarbie]

The fact you have a esfp that listens to you is honestly really lucky. Also.. intj here… I engage a lot with many people, and stay late at parties (show up early too) because I have a bizarre need to observe how humans work. I will even act and try dancing all night because my ulterior motive is to observe humanity, and if I pretend to be a normal human, what could happen? I will also talk to anyone- if they decide to talk to me… somewhat like esfp- but my motive is totally opposite. You could say im faking it and barely making it 😂 I view everything as a fun and draining social experiment.

[@justcallmejon22]

I don't think that's faking it INTJ because I do the exact same thing as well! Running social experiments on people is a hobby for INTJs and as with any hobby, there's a certain approach that's required to obtain 'clean' data. Aside from the Ni-Te approach, I'm just happy to hear that you're engaging with Se by putting yourself out there dancing. There's not enough representation of INTJs engaging with Fi or Se 😂

[@rakshithphotography9907]

​@@justcallmejon22which is the best MBTI as lifepartner for INTJ

[@paquiliztli]

👋🏽😆 ESFP here , thanks for making this ! So far the INTJs I’ve seen online (rarely in person) have interesting things to say. We can learn a lot from each other 😆🔥 #esfp

[@justcallmejon22]

Hello ESFP! We for sure have a lot to learn from eachother ✊

[@sandymakesplans]

I clicked for my attachment issues, and stayed because it's Uncle Jon! congrats on almost 10k, Jon. I was here when you started with just a few hundred 🎉😊

[@justcallmejon22]

Thank you! I remember your profile picture and I've always appreciated your comments. 🙂

[@sandymakesplans]

@@justcallmejon22 aww 🥰 Uncle Joooon

[@brianf8538]

My most frequent travel partner is an ESFP, the first time we spent time together they said something so bluntly negative about their own nature from their past that it immediately knocked my guard down. I'm unfortunately naturally suspicious of most so when they immediately voluntarily did that and said look, here's who I am, was, and am making a conscious effort to be better now we were off to the races. It's been years, never had a single issue with one another and we can spend an entire day driving without touching the radio, conversation just flows because we never run out of uncommon ground to discuss.. or maybe not so much uncommon but maybe rather "I get you, but we didn't get to this same place on the same path" sort of stuff. In terms of travel its like if either of us are missing any important skills or intuition that could improve our trip the other can pick up the slack and with both of us maintaining an open mind there hasn't been an instance where something hasn't been improved because of that.

[@justcallmejon22]

Congrats on finding an ESFP! I really do appreciate the pairing because there's so much growth when both types are healthy and willing to learn from each other. I understand the "I get you, but we didn't get to the same place on the same path" because there's usually clairification that needs to happen before my ESFP and I align on something. It's always worth it though because they help me expand my Ni 😀

[@rakshithphotography9907]

I doubt if she is an ESFP

[@rakshithphotography9907]

ESFPs are usually impulsive right

[@rakshithphotography9907]

​@@justcallmejon22what do u say about ESFP impulsive nature

[@rakshithphotography9907]

​@@justcallmejon22 Are ESFPs interested in deep philosophical conversations

[@iamtaraalexandria]

Glad to see this video! As an INFJ, I noticed a few of my favorite people, including my last relationship, were ESTP and ESFP. I just learned about MBTI, and of course keep reading that these "shadow" types are hard to work together. I did notice that I could bore those people in my life easily, because I can be so serious, and that they didn't really get my depth. But we loved each other anyway! So seeing this shadow-opposite working makes so much sense. Also, Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach are an INFJ and ESFP couple, and their relationship seems amazing. 🔥 so these opposite functions must be kinda cool to combine.

[@justcallmejon22]

Always happy to hear another Ni dom appreciating relationships with Se doms! We may not be many, but we do exist 😂

[@vjforsythe2198]

My sister is ESFP. When i typed her, I laughed out loud. Suddenly everything finally made sense. I love my sister, but if she wasnt my sister she definitely wouldnt be my friend or someone i even thought about, EVER.

[@justcallmejon22]

I hope the relationship gets better one day, ESFPs help with growth so much for an INTJ ✊

[@vjforsythe2198]

@@justcallmejon22 what I've learned from my relationship with her is acceptance. And how to listen in a way that she feels heard. I think we can work well together but it takes constant effort on both our parts and it's not sustainable in the long run. We just need breaks to be how we naturally are; if we spend too much time together it's taxing for both of us. So we've learned how healthy boundaries can improve relations with others. ♥️

[@anotheridealist4852]

My children are INTJ and ESFP. They are very close and enjoy doing many things together. But I also have to mediate for them A LOT because they talk past each other all the time. As siblings, they will continue being close in their adulthood. But NO WAY could they marry someone with their sibling's type. The INTJ has told me many times that while he really enjoys his ESFP sibling, he is not able to regulary share the most essential part of himself--his philosophical theories. The ESFP comments almost daily that "its too much--too intense." I have also seen the ESFP lose a lot of his confidence if he spends a lot of his time with the INTJ. The ESFP really wants to vibe with the people they are with, and he senses that he is not meeting this core need of his INTJ sibling. As a sibling relationship or friendship, this pairing can work well. But as married partners, it would be very painful for many of these sets.

[@justcallmejon22]

I have been told by my ESFP brother that I'm too intense multiple times in my life 😆

[@rakshithphotography9907]

I can relate to this pretty well Any more updates

[@alecia175]

It was tough for me being an INTJ, growing up in a house full of ESxx energy. My dad, my sister, and my brother, all Extroverts. My sister is my best friend and she did for me what your brother did for you. If I knew someone it was because she introduced me to them. If we were at a party it's because she was invited and brought me along. Even now, my family will send her invites to a family event, with something that sounds like, don't forget to tell your sister. This is probably why I married an ESFP, and hubby does that whole let me talk to a stranger, while I'm 20 feet away screaming "let's gooooo" with my eyes.

[@justcallmejon22]

Always happy to meet another INTJ who appreciates the ESFPs. Your story about your family inviting you through your sister is the same experience I have with my brother, it's funny to hear 😅

[@amandacoelho9524]

the few ESFPs that i've met throughout my life helped me see my Fi and Se better because they feel so natural to them and so weird to me lol I guess they're nice companions to us, to bring us outside the shell and help us be better human beings

[@justcallmejon22]

If I were to write a script on the ESFPxINTJ pairing, I'd dedicate at least 10 minutes on emotions 😅

[@Unabatedhalo775]

I love your cat. Also, I love how much knowledge you give us in all of your videos

[@alberto413]

I need ESTP and INTJ plssss 💗😔 I was watching your videos and as an INTJ I really identify with your experiences. New sub

[@justcallmejon22]

Thank you for subscribing! That video will come one day, just don't know when 😅

[@LaMach420]

My mom is an ESFP. I only talk to her when necessary, her birthday or on holidays. 😂 I cant ever have a serious conversation with her without triggering some sort of irrational, emotional reaction.

[@justcallmejon22]

I learned to listen more than to speak around ESFx's. It's made our relationships a whole lot better since 😅

[@marekkonrad9296]

For me as an INTJ, the worst type to deal with is the ESFP 90% of the people I hate are ESFPs especially my "father" so I don't believe these people have anything positive to offer me

[@Englishsea24]

I'm an INTJ and I agree. I worked with an ESFP and tbh she just got on my nerves. It felt like I had to entertain a toddler all the time. She never wanted to actually do any work, and just always wanted to be centre of attention, especially since she was mainly working amongst men. I don't get why people say this type has excellent social skills because to me they don't. They're so shallow and have nothing to talk about but superficial and silly topics. I couldn't ever imagine being in a relationship with one, it just would not work

[@justcallmejon22]

I'm sorry to hear about your negative experiences with ESFP. Your father sounds like a D**** and I hope you find a healthy ESFP one day that changes your mind ✊

[@paquiliztli]

You can’t generalize all ESFPs cuz people vary. Keep your mind open , people may surprise you 😌 #esfp

[@user-jz2se7zv1m]

Based on the poll I expected the video on ISFP to be next 😭 been waiting patiently

[@justcallmejon22]

Haven't finished formulating what I want to say about ISFPs yet. One of my closest friend is an ISFP so I want to make sure I do it justice 🙂

[@PaleGhost69]

I dont really get along with esfps on a personal level. Too noisy, usually obnoxious, and they never listen but always get mad at you when the thing you warned them about happens. If they are mature enough to know when to lead and when to follow, they're usually OK but I'll never hang out with them.

[@justcallmejon22]

I get it. I'm naturally prone to dislike ESFPs that I don't know initially but I force myself to get over it. There's so much benefits to being friends with them once INTJs get over the fact that ESFPs will always march to the beat of their own drums. Out of all the 16 types out there, I recommend having at least one ESFP friend because they will force you to become a more well-rounded person ✊

[@acelguevarra2371]

No. We don't.

[@justcallmejon22]

Yes, we do! 😁

[@aplethoraofme2056]

Dude, you can be an ESFP too. Don’t act like you don’t know bruh 😎 you give a very expressive presentation all the time 😅

[@Pinkywinkykinky]

He looks so well put together for being a self proclaimed hermit

[@justcallmejon22]

Yeah, I learned how to embrace my inner ESFP but the battery on it doesn't last long. If I didn't need 1-2 day to recharge after recording a video, I'd have way more videos out by now 😂

[@andyblack1610]

I broke up with my ESFP boyfriend several years ago because I can't get alone well with his friends, even though I tried so hard to fit them😂. They don't like me and they intend to hurt me in any chance they can.

[@justcallmejon22]

It sounds like your ex-boyfriend makes bad decisions when it comes to friendship 😡

[@s4nder86]

Communication with ESFPs is great but lifestyle and energy level differences mean contact is sporadic and relations don't tend to last.

[@justcallmejon22]

I have the opposite experience 🙃

[@DreamDraka]

Can you do a video on esfj and intj? As an intj, I have a very difficult time working under an esfj supervisor.

[@justcallmejon22]

I plan on making that video next month but in the mean time utilize Fe. Ask them about their personal life and how you can help etc. The more connected your manager feels with you, the more they will start trusting you.

[@DreamDraka]

@@justcallmejon22 yeah, that's part of the problem. She made it blatantly clear she wants zero help. Lol I was inadvertently triggering her insecurities. She wants to be the helper of the team and didn't like it that people came to me for assistance. I just learned to limit my interactions with her and go to the boss if necessary. I asked why she doesn't want my help and she said I make her feel like she doesn't know what she's doing. 🤷‍♀️

[@justcallmejon22]

@@DreamDraka Come on INTJ, don't be so dense! Your answer is in your response. She's the manager and you're making her feel dumb. Stop trying to help her fix her problems and focus on developing a relationship.

[@DreamDraka]

@@justcallmejon22 lol yeah, i eventually figured it out. It is just very frustrating because I can't be authentic. I tried having friendly non-work conversations, but that didnt help the situation much. After I went to the boss and he threatened to bring HR into it, then she backed off and started being more respectful/less passive aggressive. So, now I'm just laying low and focusing on finding a data science job. Mainly learning about the personality type so I can be more strategic in dealing with her and not step on more land mines that piss her off. 😅

[@karenkezia2841]

ESFJ AND INTJ PLEASE❤

[@karenkezia2841]

Btw im an esfj that appreciate and love Intj

[@justcallmejon22]

The video is on my to-do list for sure. Some of my best friends are ESFJs so I have a lot to say about you guys 😁

[@Flootyy]

this one girl was all over me (literally) one day and next time we met, was acting like a bitch (i would talk/ask her and she just responded super dry). is it my intj personality or is she just immature? at first i thought that i came off as if i didnt care because i just dont show a lot of emotion at first (i need to know the person more before escalating) but at the same time i was present and talking back with intent. she seemed reaaally butthurt the second time we met lmao but oh well

[@justcallmejon22]

Just to be clear, is this question in regards to the ESFP video or are you just asking for relationship advice? 😅

[@Flootyy]

@@justcallmejon22 it was general. and not really advice, more so if any intj can relate

[@solimandriyan6488]

Are all INTJ interested in philosophy???

[@justcallmejon22]

I think we all dabble in it but I wouldn't say that we're all interested persay. I guess the best way to answer your question is to figure out what metric determines interest and go from there 😅

[@solimandriyan6488]

@@justcallmejon22 just trying to understand about me being human and me in consciousness and me understanding myself in my religious way, being stuck in rabbit hole almost 3 years trying to understand and finding correlation about all that stuff and still cannot fully comprehend anything 😂

[@justcallmejon22]

@@solimandriyan6488 I'm going to ask you the same question I ask everyone in that situation. Why does all those questions matter and how will your life change if you were to find an answer?

[@solimandriyan6488]

@@justcallmejon22 I just trying to understand myself and maybe I can understand others better, I want learning about everything to understand everything, my ideal frame work about things is too shallow

[@AudenimLock]

This video came off very judgy and dismissive of an entire group of people by generalising all ESFPs. Saying things like “they’ll never be aware of this” etc is a wild assumption 🤔

[@justcallmejon22]

It's interesting that a good chunk of the video is my admiration towards ESFPs and that's what got out of it.

[@AudenimLock]

@@justcallmejon22 Ah yes, because a compliment covers all manner of sin. Not surprised you jumped to conclusions on what I got out of it based on one comment. My comment was referring to the overall vibe of the video. Shame that had to be explained but here we are.