INTJ Broken Trust: 5 UNNERVING Ways INTJs Handle Betrayal and Manipulation

[@SuccessForBreakfast]

Have you ever been betrayed? What was your reaction or how did you handle it? Leave a comment and tell me your stories and experiences! Thanks for watching! Make sure you subscribe to get more Brain Food. ✔️ Click to Subscribe! bit.ly/S4BYes ▶️ If you have enjoyed our Breakfast Brainfood together, consider Buying Me a Coffee and help support this channel: www.buymeacoffee.com/Success4Brkfst ◾◾ This is the Number 1 tool that I use and what helped me jump-start being able to live my best life and do it on my own terms. ➡️ bit.ly/LvlUpNow I hope you enjoy my channel and the videos but more importantly, find things that you can take action on and level up your life!

[@BlackSailPass_GuitarCovers]

Damn, the "Like! Subscribe!" scumming is really off the charts on this video.

[@jajajiji8447]

is more like i got betrayed and manipulated by an intj i am an infj btw

[@lgempet2869]

That permanent door-slam is absolutely CORRECT! As an INTJ woman, I most definitely give people plenty of opportunities to be honest, kind, respectful, etc, but there’s typically a final time when the chances run-out &, when that happens, NOTHING & I mean NOTHING will change it….”time to move on.”

[@MicrophoneSmith]

Intj here. I door slammed my whole family at the age of 22 I’m 37 now. Communication is still sparse. I’m probably 1 more failed relationship away from Misanthropy. I’m not worried or concerned. This is fine.

[@devildogkogg8353]

Same scenario, me too. I'm not upset about it and I don't miss anyone. They're objectively dead weight because they are disloyal and untrustworthy; keeping them in my life is illogical and yields no reward (at least, no reward that I care about.)

[@Nai_101]

As a slightly younger, fellow INTJ, how you haven't ended up with misanthropy yet is beyond me.

[@Nai_101]

@@Katariinajokakuoli I will remember your advice.

[@clutch2074]

Same left home when I was 17 never looked back. just now getting around to talking to them again . Just turned 40 step mom was the problem oh well have my own family and buisness,doing just fine. Intj my dad estj you can guess how that was lol

[@FindingTheWayForward]

Never been fond of humans myself

[@sherilumley5498]

I'm an INTJ and have cut off people when necessary. It's very true that when I'm done. I'm done and I will never put myself in a situation with that person where I can be betrayed again.

[@edheldude]

@@sherilumley5498 I just cut off my friend group of 20 years. I'm 42.

[@andydoodles5359]

Intj here. You become nothing to me when you betray me. One chance only!!!

[@prydegirl]

If I’m talking, we are good, when I go silent, run.

[@ebishrimpy9366]

As an INTJ, when i was betrayed, i spent months stewing over it because i felt that there had to be a rational, logical explanation for how they could do this to me, and was frustrated at how it made no sense. ...later on it was revealed that the person was covertly narcissistic, so now it makes sense and I have the info on how to never let it happen again.

[@sandrabard3677]

i feel you!

[@zarahesari5599]

There is some thing i think everyday but i cant find answer for 5 months,I want know the answer to get calm .

[@MHBTNO]

Always fell on my face when I did not let people earn my trust. Usually I handle betrayal with a door slam.

[@barbaradps828]

Yeah same

[@BinkyTheGoddessDivine]

I have no second thoughts about slamming the door on people. And no remorse. Once they're gone, there's no way back for them. It's over. Life is too short to keep these people around. When I'm angry with someone, I want to make sure they know exactly how much I despise them. I never understood passive aggressive people who never express to people exactly how they feel.

[@lorireed8046]

Depends on the person. I had a complete meltdown and tried again (over and over) cause she was my very own daughter. Just can't, anymore. The last lie and jab was enough. The biggest betrayal I've ever dealt with.

[@judithgockel1001]

@@lorireed8046- My family is poles apart in thought and belief from myself. The betrayals I experience I don’t bother to explain or try to revenge; it is pointless and hopeless. Instead, I take an interest in the kids, be as kind as I can to the adults, and discipline myself not to resent. It is hard.

[@lorireed8046]

@@judithgockel1001 I'm "disowned" LOL ... I can only just accept that.

[@judithgockel1001]

@@lorireed8046 - I hear you, and empathize.💗 Added- I hear, but spelling is wonky.

[@DefconDelta88]

Yeah if that door closes it's DONE. You've been rendered a counter-productive waste of time and energy.

[@TatjanaMur]

As an INTJ female, I have realized that it is very much needed to learn to process my emotions and to be able to deal with the betrayal strategically. I sincerely hate the manipulation games and think it is a huge waste of time and energy resources. However, the way we react to a betrayal can mean huge setbacks additionally to the betrayal effects. Sometimes it is good when the betrayer doesn´t even know that we know. It requires a huge amount of effort. Huge. But if you value patience and strategy (and INTJs do), use these values to help you deal with your high disgust about lies and manipulation games.

[@АйлинИбраева-р5з]

I’m an INTJ I want to be a friend with you

[@mchyinLyons]

I have definitely slammed doors, shut, locked, throw away the key. However I've learned to take a deep breath and remind myself that it's not always about me, what other people do or say is about them, I'm not the center of other peoples universe

[@Braenn666]

I door-slammed my then-friends when I found out that they were talking sh!t behind my back. One day I just stopped communicating with them, cutting out of my life. Needless to say, they were quite surprised - "how could I ditch them over something so small". Yeah, berating and making fun of me behind my back is so friendly behaviour :V Door-slamming is last resort method for me. But when it happens, there's no returning. I don't reconsider those people to be my anything in the future. Piece of advice for others who think they'll smooth things out after angering&betraying INTJs - you don't, so please don't do any mind games with us. We're winning 5d chess daily, seeing through someone's precious lies is easy but makes us feel stupid for trusting you. Expierience may vary between INTJ specimen though.

[@frankhassle9366]

Well put.

[@ilyaslamperouge5029]

If it was me i would be pissed off but wont reveal that iam angry over sush a thing (but it would be different) if its coming from a long time friend or family member (i only have one or 2 that i consider them friends.. and i can expect anything from my other aquaintances (i will calculate how to behave so that i can put them in their places and not regret it later) Idk if iam an intj or whatever but all i know is that i have some principles and beliefs iam trying to protect.

[@ilyaslamperouge5029]

Wait i just finished reading your comment ( i can completly rely to that if it comes from my closest friends)

[@edheldude]

I just cut off my old friend group of 20 years for disrespect. I took three days to think through it, gave them up mentally, and just disconnected. They tried calling, I didn't answer. My ex betrayed my trust, and that's something I can't accept especially when I've been sincere and her actions show mocking. Two years she's tried to reconnect. She even sent me an 11-page apology letter.

[@noamanpatel3784]

When I was betrayed and lied to, I prayed to the Lord to totally and completely destroy the individual....

[@harmonnathan4627]

Envy, jealousy ... gossip .. distance and regrouping yourself in solitude is the key

[@lk6789]

Yup, door slam no problem, no regrets, has happened a few times but takes a lot to activate it.

[@devildogkogg8353]

The last method is my first (and last) resort; I don't need the other methods, they are less effective and therefore unnecessary. My family betrayed me and I left them forever more than a year ago and blocked their numbers. I do not miss them, nor do I care enough to hate them. When I think about the past when I loved them and remember they're gone forever, I can't bring myself to be sad about it. What ultimately matters is that they have proven themselves unable to be trusted and there is no logical reason for me to love them, so I don't.

[@LizInTheB]

We don't have to "try" to stay "one step ahead of people". ;-)

[@missinterpretation4984]

Facts!

[@prydegirl]

More like ten moves ahead, their opening is my end game.

[@-Claws72-]

It comes natural to us. Good to be an INTJ!

[@stereotypespecialist]

I couldn't think as slow as other people if I tried.

[@chocobrowniewin]

It's a permanent on mode... Unfortunately.

[@jassielpeguero3373]

This is the most factually accurate video ever. INTJ here.

[@philiprichardson3074]

In the instance of a betrayal I go with the door slam, life is far too short to waste time on people who have badly let you down. No remorse, no way back whoever it is they are gone forever.

[@karl8621]

I'm not going to lie, this was hauntingly accurate.

[@ShxtManIdk]

(INTJ) I can easily door slam people to the point I been told it's admirable. I don't care who the hell it is. Why should I let that person treat me like garbage???

[@sarahmoore4917]

That is why we just LOVE car shopping. I got really frustrated when I was shopping for my dually truck. After the third, "Hey there little lady. Shopping for your husband?" Then when he found out I'm shopping for myself. Being redirected to a smaller truck or cute car. I just lost it. I took a deep breath and my back stiffened, shoulders squared up. Gave the sales man maximum death stare. With the smile I scares children with. Replied in sickeningly sweet voice. "That hot pink Prius is SUPER cute. But I believe it would have a hard time pulling my 38' rv and livestock trailer." He turned white and stepped back several steps. I thought he was going to wet himself. Said he was going to get their truck expert for me. The Manager and I got along well. He gave just the stats about every truck I looked at. From distance of 5'. 😂

[@sandirobinson6966]

Hahaha. Yup - in spades. :) Car (in my case truck also) salesmen have ZERO chance with this "little lady".

[@chrisharshman5838]

My personality tests as INTJ. A lot of this sounds familiar to me. After years of lies and manipulation and countless arguments about it with my wife, I got divorced.

[@AmishNinjaMaster]

Welcome to the INTJ Team.

[@markeberle3984]

As an INTJ, this list is only beecause homicide is illegal. And...you know we could've gotten away with it. ;)

[@JenHope118]

INTJ stay away from people they dislike. Make their stay at party short if they see somebody that they dislike is also present. They may completely cut those people out of their lives.

[@melindamassey14]

I have abusive estjs in my life constantly beating me down into submission. I've suffered from ptsd because of them.

[@DGDDice]

when someone has betrayed or manipulated me I treat them as the same way as something not needed on my shelf I'm done with. I remove the object in question from my shelf and send its on its way elsewhere and move on with my life no hesitation. that person may as well never have existed once I remove someone from my life. I certainly can relate to recalibrating myself to making sure I don't make the mistake again.- INTJ

[@DB_Cooper727]

When I’m betrayed, it’s years before I will speak to the offender again. Only exception is in a business setting where I must interact with the offender. Either way, I never have much use for them afterwards.

[@RedHybiscus]

Once you show me who you are - I believe you. Begging, pleading, will not change what that person showed me about themself. Even if that person can work on the offending aspect it was still shown to me what that person is capable of. I am not going to keep opening myself to manipulation or betrayal. I might be friendly or polite but never will I open my heart again to that person.

[@kalinkakalaschnikowa]

I hate it, because I get so uncontrolled angry, so furious, and my mind can't stop thinking and Im occupied with fantasies about revanche, I want to pay the person back!- but only as long as this person doesn't realize, what she had done. If somebody says sorry and apologizes, and I feel if it's truly spoken, I forgive immediately - because the original state of peace and justice between us both has been restored again, and this "normalization" is what I need for peace of mind. But if somebody continues with his fault, I hit hard and early. I always found a way to humble people, who were cruel to me or to somebody, I cared for. My friends say, we don't want to be your enemies ever, after we saw, how you handle assholes. This feels a little strange for me, cos I'm a very peaceful and logical person. But when I get emotional, I can't stop until its done, what has to be done. It feels like an villain superpower, of course, because I even made people above me (Teachers, Bosses) fall, after I found a way to prove and expose their cowardness.

[@chancardT]

As an INTJ female, I will plan a way to revenge back if I am betrayed and the betrayal caused too much damage in my life. I will never forgive

[@mystdaisy3353]

I'm an overthinker INTJ, I always prepare for the worst case in everything and I never 100% trust anyone even my own parents, I just trust my parents up to 95%, and max 75% for other than my biological family. It's not like I don't trust them, but that's my defense mechanism caused by childhood trauma. So if someone betrayed me I don't really get offended, except my family, cuz I don't really trust anyone other than family in the first place. But it's not like I believe all people is bad, it's just I know everyone have a chance to betray me. That's why I don't have any bestfriend, cuz it's really hard for me to trust people. Believe me, being like this is hard for me and deep in my heart I really want someone that I can trust, at least as my parents. I just hope someday I will have enough brave to open my heart to someone, and I hope that person would never waste that

[@mystdaisy3353]

But, I am also a not forgive so easily person. So if someone ever hurt me enough to offended me and I can't forgive that, I will do something in my power to unbenefit them in the future without their knowing and never willing to help that person if they asked me to. And of course I know the boundaries when I did my revenge, I didn't do it to much (at least imo). That's my reaction so far

[@kataki2375]

Same for me :((

[@joshflugel]

I've door slammed several close people, exactly because to this day, they don't see anything wrong with what they did. They grossly underestimated my resolve to deal with the disrespect, power games and collusion. It's wild to have several close people collaborating to lay an ambush and restore their dominance.

[@catherinerhea6336]

***BAM!!! NAILED IT!!!*** "Doorslamming" is my signature move, when I've had ENOUGH, & my detailed analysis of the ENTIRE situation doesn't find a reason NOT to "slam that door."... Yeah... I actually have to logically "talk myself out of it!!!" I have a pretty rigid code of ethics & inter-related conduct, enforced with my "deal-breaking" boundaries. IF the offender means something substantial, they only get ONE "called-out" _Warning._ Even "dance around" that hard line, & that door slams soooooo hard, the hinges MELT!!! Those I've doorslammed DECADES ago, who mistakenly assumed time would soften me, get told "Do I know you???... No. I don't think so... You've mistaken me for someone ELSE." ...right to their face!!!, & it doesn't matter who they used to be. Once I reach that point, ***DONE!!!*** There is a reverse gear in my vehicle, but I don't have one... One of the assorted reasons why most see me as a "cold-hearted bitch." My reply to that is ***& DON'T YOU FORGET IT!!!*** _Dead Serious..._ 🖤

[@user-dead_but_not_the_end]

Don't worry your mental condition is not different then that door..

[@CoasterClark-z2k]

I am an INTJ. My trust is only earned. If you ever betray my trust then I will hold a grudge. The only reason I ever forgave the biggest betrayal in my life was because of a religious experience. If that didn’t happen I would continue to hate that person to this day.

[@Maplie]

I door-slammed my stalker for violating my privacy and it's just a matter of how long it takes them to realize they 1000% dead to me.

[@Mamewism]

My experience is cut that person out immediately, he was not existing in my world anymore. And because we had a mutual group of friends, I distanced myself from them, allow them to be together because I don’t want to make anyone discomfort and I was doing fine on my own

[@dr.perruche1278]

I’m actually really bad with the door slam method. Even disregarding betrayal and manipulation completely, I tend to do it if the person no longer has any benefit to my life anymore. Friends in the past that don’t create a mutual effort between both of us I cut off no problem without warning. Of course I’ve been told to work on this but I don’t care enough to frankly. There’s only one person that managed to get through my walls and it took him a year to do it, but now that he’s betrayed me completely I don’t know how to handle it. I want to door slam but at the same time I don’t have anyone else at all. Even for intjs, we need someone in our lives sometimes.

[@AcctServices]

It's been three years since I slammed the door on a friend (started out dating then went platonic) of 30 years over a text conversation. Though the context of the text was insignificant, it was the second outburst and showed me a side of that person that I could no longer tolerate. I ended the text by saying the friendship was over.

[@texasbeast239]

And another thing. Had a GF break up with me on the phone. Well, that's how I interpreted it. She said she didn't think she could talk to me anymore because it hurt too much that things weren't progressing any faster than they were. I told her I got that, but I had warned her from the start that I have trust issues, and that she had better be in this for the long haul, as I am no one night stand or seasonal fling, and she had agreed. I told her we could work on some things, and communicate more often to keep her from worrying about me or us so much. I made the effort. I extended the offer. But she came back, sobbing, claiming she didn't think that would work, because she still hurt too much. I hated this. I hated her supposedly feeling bad. I hated hearing that I was causing it. And I hated wallowing around in the pity party, and feeling powerless about it. So I warned her, hey, we CAN work on this, but don't talk pessimistically to me like you've already given up all hope and willingness to try. Stop that. Because if you keep it up, I will interpret that as you have already checked out. I will conclude that there is no more point in me trying either. Don't say it unless you really, REALLY mean it. Still crying, she said she couldn't help it, but it was how she felt-- --so I told her she wouldn't have to worry about talking to me or seeing me ever again. As far as I was concerned, she had broken up with me, and I had no further use for her myself. I wished her good luck in finding a man who was willing to work things out with her as much as I had been, but I strongly doubted it. And I hung up on her. She immediately called me back like a dozen times in a row. She texted me like 6 times that day. She tried again for the next 3 days. But I didn't care. I blocked her on day 3. I blocked her email, and her user name on all the sites that we regularly visited. She snail mailed me and claimed she had lost her father and she had really needed to talk to me during that. I felt nothing. I unblocked her long enough to text her that she shouldn't have dumped me then. Then i told her not to contact me in any way whatsoever again, as I would not reply. She could be dead now, herself, for all I know. Sucks to be her.

[@-_deploy_-]

Very nice.

[@Ilovenazism]

Ice cold, baby. Just like us INTJ's. If this does happen to me, i would cut that person from my life too.

[@santinamarie4699]

I've never betrayed an intj. But I have been betrayed by one. And you're right the best advice is to leave them completely alone. Forever.

[@thesoliloquist1940]

They weren't an actual intj...

[@-Claws72-]

Very true. Someone close to me was manipulative and deceitful when I was a teenager. Did some research, confirmed my suspicions, then gave them a chance to come clean. They didn’t right away so I said I needed space and didn’t want any contact. Haven’t spoken to or heard of that person for a good four or five years now and do not mind the least!

[@alexthomas9584]

When dealing with a close friend or loved one, I warn them that my patience is wearing thin... many times. If they are not listening, I move on and they are out of my life. What is even more sad is they act surprised- as if my decision was arbitrary or impulsive. It wasn't... I warned them what could happen.

[@missbealovesalbert8353]

I make it a general rule to not interact with people. When I do and I see that someone is being underhanded, I do not confront them with a warning. I keep playing along...and take them down. They never see it coming- and they never eff with me again. Sometimes it's necessary to teach someone how to treat you- or how not to. I do NOT hesitate whatsoever to cut someone off- FOREVER.

[@MsDezB1]

"The INTJ door slam"! All these years, I've referred to it as cutting people off. I prefer INTJ door slam and will be using that going forward, lol. Yes, when you've betrayed my trust, I hope it was worth it. You'll never have an opportunity to do that again.

[@ColdDiva]

Learned 25 year+ friends were betraying my trust with gossip, under handed meddling and jealousy. I extinguished the relations and blocked them eternally.

[@stevenfox2172]

There is a darker, more primal version of the intj as well. I imagine that many operators and wet boys and Hitman and auditors are intjs.

[@JazzMynxi]

We are the ones who choose to walk in light, even though we can melt into the darkness with ease.

[@okwatever3582]

It’s pretty hard to recall the last time how I behaved when someone betrayed or manipulated me. Over the years, I learned to handle my frustration: to not detonate the bomb all at once, for I used to do it simply by yelling at the person and dumping every single detail about them in front of everyone else. Now, I learned to control it and remember the loss by telling myself “I can revenge after months or years, so don’t be so aggressive in the first place but mask your hatred in front of them”

[@TheTrueGlaukos]

I was forced to grow up and rely on someone who i could not trust. I was betrayed constantly. I settled for abandoning that person during their divorce, got to hang up on them mid conversation and everything. Havent talked to them since

[@bobbieriales8764]

Had a "friend" who dropped me because someone else thought it would be fun to "take" them. In any case when my "friend" got dumped by the other person, she wanted back in with me. No way, no shape, no form, no how. A decade later, I still have not accepted her back as my friend.

[@voiddmp4]

as an intj-a woman, if i actually got betrayed, first i would be slightly pissed and off to distant myself from anyone, even my close friends and family. id rather not open up to anyone about it and tend to solve all of those myself. if about feelings, i can't understand them myself.

[@cher8071]

I am intj but I try to balance my anger and tend to be more accepting of people limitations. I do get defensive however when accused unfairly and pride fairness and accuracy above the strategy to simply accept the losses for the sake of a bigger picture. But I do hate manipulation and self serving people with double standards. I have recently shut the door on a long time good friend after being on the receiving end of being gaslighted for several occasions and being blamed for anything that doesn't meet her unrealistic expectations which she does not convey clearly and just bring cold war as and when she likes it. However apart from this case I have never truly shut the door. It's more of a case I drift apart when I know there is no point to a relationship.

[@reptilesfishandmore]

Idk much about this myer brigg stuff, but I got INTJ when I took the test. Honestly this betrayal stuff is in point and I hate it about myself but I been like this since I was a kid according to my parents

[@texasbeast239]

I just visited a live chat for a channel that I used to like. Months back, one of the women that I used to really dig, publicly and repeatedly accused me of badmouthing her. And when I asked her what I did, she gave me the silent treatment. I blocked her ass. And I left her blocked. So when I returned recently, apparently she was going crazy trying to get me to acknowledge her. But I didn't know, as she is still blocked. I started getting notices from others that she was reaching out to me, but I just shrugged it off. Ultimately, I told a mod, "Nah, she chose to diss me publicly, so she can stay blocked. Toodles, y'all." I would rather be alone than struggle through a bad relationship or interaction. I work very hard by default to get along up front, but once anyone has taken advantage of that and burned me anyway, they're dead to me. They don't rate mercy or forgiveness or second chances. "I am a rock; I am an island, baby."

[@Spaceseeker]

All I can say as an INTJ woman - Don't mess with me.

[@Sion_Revan]

Once that door is slammed it becomes an immovable object and no amount of force can open it again.

[@MrAviationFan]

Well, it is amazingly simple once you analyze it. Door slam is permanent, though.

[@AKB35955]

Gave them the benefit of the doubt. Confronted them. Victimized themselves. I apologized🤔. Gave them them the benefit of the doubt again. Kept mental note of repetitive patterns. Understood their character. Distanced myself. Confronted them. No answer. Finally got an Apology a month later. Said my two cents. Kept my distance. Haven't hardly spoke to them. I let a lot of sh*t slide already. There was a series of things that they did, I find it very hard to believe grown adults don't know what they're doing. I shouldn't have to explain to you more than once, let alone something so blatantly distrustful and disrespectful. I brought It up. I didn't even say the main factors to why our friendship deteriorated, but enough for her to understand the magnitude of her actions speak volumes to her character.

[@jenniferhanses7064]

I think this video has confused betrayal with manipulation. Those are two separate categories. Betrayal? Sure. All true. Manipulation ... it depends. Are you trying to help me by teaching me a lesson I haven't learned? Are you trying to manipulate me by pointing out how it would be in my nature and stated goals to do the thing you want me to do? Those two are fine. I don't care. I particularly enjoy it if you're going to manipulate me by basically giving me what I wanted/helping me achieve my goals. I'm also down for some playful manipulation. Is this an intellectual game between the two of us? So long as we both know what's actually out of bounds, then let the competition commence. I will enjoy every minute of it as I get to try out and create new plans. Manipulation is only a problem if you do something like take hostages in order to make me act against my nature or similar. Then my response is going to be "Go ahead. Kill them. Let it burn. We will duel to the pain, and all of it will be yours for the rest of your life. You've just destroyed the things that keep me human and thus cleared my schedule for eternity. I have the time."

[@dianewilliams9729]

I value commitment even when betrayed but know I became more controlling and treated person as I would a little child misbehaving. The loved turned into one for a child rather than a significant other.😢

[@JeffreyWillis800]

I cut permanent ties. Also I have hammered a person with the details of all the things they do that screw people over.

[@faithworks217]

I did that, too, to a horrible woman who was a busybody, into gossip and slander, and liked playing cat and mouse with desperate people. I told her off in an email and said that, if she saw me attending the same function as her, she could say hello, and I would say hello back, but don't talk to me anymore. I was finished with her nonsense.

[@nekotoru]

When my ex betrayed me, at first I tried to convince her to stay with me because I was emotionally involved in those relationships. She was too close to me than anybody else. But when I calmed down I understood that she's just a wrong person. She changed and I couldn't be with her anymore. It was painful but I cut all the wires connected us. Moreover I can't trust women anymore because I researched the topic and discovered that it's a common case when lovers betray each over, so love and relationships are illusions. I believe we can have a perfect love with AI but not with a real people as well as we can't run faster than a racing car (at least on far distances (MythBusters proved))

[@duan_meixuan]

My ex (the first person I loved romantically) blindsided me but expected me to remain friends with him. I cut him off as a friend and told him that I'm only open to reconciliation.

[@MG007.]

Legislation and the Judiciary Institution prevents me from cleaning the world of Betrayers. INTJ-A

[@Drunken.Lyrics]

Ouch, stop looking in my window!!

[@NancyRoss-y9q]

Yep, don't write, don't call and don't come by

[@martintokau7326]

Hi all the way from the Land of the Unexpected 🇵🇬 I am an INTJ-A, and I can relate to the points that been brought up in this video. The second point resonates with me, and is quite true, I can smile when I feel betrayed... thank for the informative video and helping me understand myself better. I enjoy these videos and love learning about different people and their personalities. Keep up the good work.

[@DiLu-o3p]

I just want to make a very small, but very important, correction. 4:10 “INTJ will not hesitate to call them out until the other person realises their mistake and apologises to them” Just want to point out that INTJ don’t care for apologies, giving or receiving. Someone apologising is never good enough because 1) this concept the rest of the world has with apologies absolves people of their sins is not accepted by INTJ - to us, fixing the problem is the only way to repent 2) most apologies are phony and we can smell it 3) because they’re only sorry they got caught If this is a professional environment, we tend to just “let it go” in public but we will remember and freeze them out And as for giving apologies, most of the time we’re not sorry especially when it’s not our fault (eg, customers) but know that it’s just something that people expect to hear 🙄 so we contort our face and eke out an equally phony apology. But if we’re actually apologising, as you’ve pointed out in the anger video, our version of the apology is generally fixing the problem or our error, or help with something in return. We know words are cheap. Actions speak louder. Otherwise, love your videos!

[@maggied9918]

Recent betrayal here. Family of course. Told this person very private things. Cut me off first. Called them out. Then they did it again. I let it slide like I did not care, but in fact I was cutting them out of my life at that point. Suddenly they want to talk to me. Nope not playing that game. Door slam.

[@breakout4347]

Slammed 2 doors my brother and ex-bestfriend. No turning back.

[@ElaIEO]

Amen when we leave the building we leave 😊

[@GorgoReptilicus]

Door slam after 15 years of faithfulness repaid by betrayal. No going back. Good thing is I wasn’t part of the karmatic rebalancing act that naturally took place afterwards. Revenge is a dish best served by someone else whilst we sip our tea and enjoy the show

[@kyungshin5855]

INTJ here, I door slammed a few times to people very close to me. No regret. I'll do that again if I need to.

[@barbaradps828]

Hello, INTJ female here, a year and a half ago my ex-best friend (When we still were best friends) started bullying me all of a sudden well I mean a couple times in a day she would tell me an insult and laugh hysterically and I started asking her to stop but she wouldn’t so with all the informations that I knew about her, I knew she would be scared of teachers knowing about that and so I began with only having a discussion with her about it (Fun fact a teacher entered the room while we were talking and thought I was the bully because she was crying on the floor 😂 but we then explained) in which she told me that I looked very cold which I honestly had never looked like to her well because I had never door-slammed her before that (obviously you can only door slam a person once lol) and she was almost scared of me 😂 HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED she even asked me to look away while she was speaking because I was scaring her apparently 😂😂😂 and so after the discussion, with my ex-best friend in hope of me hugging her tightly and saying that no matter what we will always remain best friends, well I just stopped talking to her completely and now, each time I see her, even if I naturally have a death-stare look on my face, I give her the MOST DEATH-COLD-STARE that I can but without even looking at her and often I see that she almost seems scared of me 😂 FOR REAL THE TABLES HAVE REALLY TURNED! It’s so funny how she literally went to speak behind my back with a person I know, she stole my musical instrument that belongs to my school (Took it back of course), almost stole my lunch box and randomly insulted me but now LOL SHE’S the scared one 😂😂😂 anyways, yeah that’s how I door slammed my ex-best friend in a couple days By the way if you were curious, the whole bullying only lasted a week and a half because I REALLY worked to make it stop it was a huge pain and I almost couldn’t think about other stuff…

[@texasbeast239]

I have been fired multiple times because of this. I do not tolerate companies and bosses who violate their own stated principles, while still demanding that I adhere to them. I will not hesitate to call them out for it, either. I suck in corporate America!

[@i-..--..--..-i6985]

Yup. Same reason I’ve been self employed since I was 22.

[@JazzMynxi]

Am I the only INTJ that doesn't care if someone betrays me because I always expect it, anyhow? I never fully trust.

[@soulsecrets12789]

It’s more when I don’t see it coming, like I should have seen it. I should have had it planned out what to do if ABC were to occur. So the type of betrayal I didn’t see coming will leave me with years of thoughts trying to recognise where I went wrong and try to rationalise patterns for future purposes. It has to be much more than ‘cheating’ though to effect me. More like a string of manipulation I didn’t spot.

[@devildogkogg8353]

I care if someone betrays me. Not because the betrayer hurt my feelings, but because it proves me a fool for trusting someone who would. Hence why I do not trust anyone, lest they gain the opportunity to betray me. We plan ahead for these things and stop them from happening

[@jamieeast7645]

I just shut the door and done. I have no desire to hear anything else. You made a choice to betray or lying or manipulation. You did what you did and I move out of the way. I won't let you back in either.

[@michellerakowski2429]

Oh yeah. Definitely.

[@KAMA3AC]

The author just hit bullseye.

[@dus10dnd]

The more I learn about INTJ (me), the more it seems not just have overlap, but to be the same as autism (also me).

[@P90XGetRipped]

Luckily im pretty good at recognizing when someone is trying to manipulate me. Someone that I know has recently been trying to manipulate me and I'm just keeping all of it in my back pocket so I can throw it in their face later

[@-nan-]

I just be short. My bf has cheated on me. I tried my best to find the reasons why he did it. I forgave him for everything and I wanna cut him out permanently. Unfortunately, he came back and now we still in relationship. I still cautious about he might cheat on me again, but we talked again and again, so I can handle my feeling now.

[@bluecannibaleyes]

I can’t understand why anyone would stay with a cheater. Especially if it’s not even a spouse, but just a boyfriend. Just slam that door in his face, bonus points if it breaks some teeth. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Anyone who does that has a fundamental flaw in their morals that is unreconcilable. Why would you take him back just because he ‘came back’ and you ‘talked’? Sounds like just more manipulation. Your feelings weren’t the problem here, his shítty decision to cheat was.

[@forrealtoall1537]

I become Casper, I ghost anyone who is waiting my time including family and friends.

[@faithworks217]

I was born into a dysfunctional family and my life has been a saga, but bit by bit, I have received healing and learned how to walk away, instead of sticking around to be dumped on. I sure have had trust issues. Years ago, a visiting minister in a church I attended had a word of knowledge about this and said I would learn to trust. But it wasn't people I learned to trust. It's Jesus. He's the One who holds me tight and calms me down when I have been mistreated. I came into conflict with my pastor when I realized that his teaching on tithing was based on Bible verses that he was taking out of context. I got kicked out of that church and the next one I went to, the pastor held the same views as my other pastor, but let me attend his church anyway, as long as I didn't talk to anyone about tithing while on the premises. That was okay. By then, a friend had uploaded my views about tithing to the Internet. They were there for anyone who was interested. Another visiting minister had a word of knowledge and spoke it over me, saying, "You have been hiding from leadership," and I thought, "Well, if you knew how leadership has been treating me, you wouldn't blame me, and I have no intention of coming out of hiding.'" God knows how to trick us into doing what we're supposed to do, though. So, one day, my pastor preached about the hidden manna spoken of in the Book of Revelation, and I thought he misinterpreted it. A couple got married after the service and during the reception, I went up to him to tell him how I thought that the hidden manna represented something else than what he believed it to be. He immediately jumped all over me before I barely spoke a word, as he assumed that I was going to give him a sermon against tithing. I hadn't even thought of it. Oh boy, he sure laid into me, and everything I said back to him infuriated him more and more. His face was red and I was calm in all my replies. People walked past us wide-eyed. He kept on about the tithing and I stuck to my guns. He said, "Are you saying that all these pastors are wrong and you're right?" I needed to think about that a bit more, but a few days later, I sent him a letter that said, yes, they were wrong and I am right. But while we were having that conversation at the church, he said, "Trust me, Lanny! I'm your pastor." I looked him in the eyes and said, "I don't completely trust anybody but Jesus because He's the only one who is perfect." Then he took issue that I called him only by his first name and said, "Call me Pastor Darcy, Lanny. Have some respect!" I replied, "Jesus taught us in Matthew 23:8-10 to not call spiritual leaders by titles." He hesitated and then decided to drop the issue because he couldn't remember what those verses said. Finally, he was so frustrated that he said I was going to get into trouble the way I was going. Oh, he should have known better. I had told him what I did when my other pastor said that to me. I replied, "I have only one thing to say to that, on the basis of Galatians 6:16," then I turned my face to the side and blew a raspberry. His eyes nearly popped out of his head with rage, and his wife, who had been watching us a little distance away, came and rescued him, saying it was time to go home because they were expecting guests. Man, that was fun. I laughed on the way home about how that went down. Those pastors and their guest ministers had been praying for me to have boldness, but he didn't like how God answered his prayers.

[@BreckoniousMaximus]

Bravo Success for Breakfast! Your work is precise, accurate, and well thought out. As an INTJ myself, everything here is accurate, but one thing is missing and I'm glad you left it out. I'm not sure if you did this intentionally, but it was a good call. So what is this missing thing? Well....it's physical violence as a last resort. After trying the several ways we handle betrayal and manipulation, if these tactics don't work, I will and have used physical violence. However, this only depends on the type of betrayal and manipulation, and who did these acts. For example, betrayal of the heart will never lead to violence, just an immediate separation from her both physically and emotionally. She will no longer exist, no matter how long I knew her, she will never be thought of again....period. Now, when it comes to dealing with manipulation or betrayal not of the heart and this person is some "dude", there will be violence if that's what it takes to make my point clear. After writing the above paragraph, I thought of something else to include. An INTJ's response to betrayal and manipulation, will be different when dealing with a man or woman. Simply put, men don't have the same ability as women to work through problems without violence, generally speaking of course. I have one more thing to mention, then I should be done. When you spoke about INTJ's standing up to bullies, this couldn't be more true. When I was growing up and still to this day, I was know for the anti-bully. For some reason, it boils my blood when others pick on people that cannot defend themselves. I grew up a Military Brat, so I moved from school to school, 30 times to be exact. I would quickly find the bully or "cool kids" and become their bully, which then stops them from picking on others. Did I get beat up a lot, sometimes, but that isn't the point. Win or lose, my purpose was to inflict any type of pain or discomfort on the bully, to act as negative reinforcement. The bully would soon learn, that every time he picked on someone else, this would bring pain in some way shape or form. Needless to say, I got kicked out of a lot of schools, because I was the "new kid" causing problems with all the "good ol local boys," as they said.

[@annie.bo.briggs]

Not well. No contact with my family.

[@roasted9095]

I use the scorching earth policy.

[@thestarlitmagician]

I cut people off necer fogive them once you show me who you are I can’t under it most people I have over known have betrayed me so much I cut myself off from the entire world I think I putting a hit on my life was it for me and human beings I’m over it

[@_sahil8227]

I'm not a forgiver I destroyed her in a way she would always going to be remember me

[@sandirobinson6966]

Female INTJ. I don't call it a "doorslam". I call it "You are dead to me", and they are. Yes to calling out bullys and giving them a verbal smackdown they will never forget. Also will go (literally) to the mat to defend one of "my people". The other more passive responses? A big no. Nothing I hate more than passive aggressive. Give me "aggressive aggressive" any day when it's called for. Hahahaha. We are MORE than capable of it.

[@TheComedyGeek]

No no no....we have trouble trusting people because we only trust what we know...And people are hard to know. You're right about not liking what we see though. I am unnerving good at seeing through people and I often know more about them than they know themselves. High intellect plus high empathy equals pretty scary. Means that if I DO like you and approve of you, it's a bell of a compliment.

[@fahiranadila3534]

So how to figure out INTJ's trust issue?

[@sinovuyobudaza7167]

I handled betrayal in all the above mentioned ways 😆.

[@chocobrowniewin]

Its ok. We can be civil, but its only business from now on. Don't expect me to give you anything easily

[@ursanirak2870]

I think they have trust issues because they know themselves very well. Make no mistake: the fact that intjs trust no one does not mean they can always be trusted.

[@faithworks217]

That is true. None of us know how we will behave when we are backed into a corner. I have trust issues because I know people are morally and emotionally frail, but that doesn't mean I don't love them. I wait and watch to see how far I can trust them. Maybe just a little, maybe a lot, but never 100%. That's unrealistic.

[@catherinetandar]

1 thing missed in this video, it's called returning the favour...

[@C.M.M.23]

Pro tip: don't do it. Do not do this.

[@ImToastAlso]

This might have been interesting, but these stock clips are so cheesy and distracting.

[@iv3nomousi]

INTJ-A. Been betrayed twice. I always exact revenge. No questions. No remorse. First one was a guy in my late teens. Upcoming soccer player. Broke his leg at the knee (multiple fractures) with a baseball bat to make sure he would never reach his goal. Second was a friend who stabbed me in the back when I ratted his girlfriend out for lifting my number off his phone and sending me crude text messages. He blamed me for the whole thing. So I got back in contact with her and slept with her, knowing he would find out. When he sent his cousin after me, I did it again, told her to kick him to the curb (they had kids together) which she did, then I fucking ghosted out and moved towns.

[@rolandberger7493]

Sounds more like a psychopathic INTJ-A

[@iv3nomousi]

@@rolandberger7493 - Impossible. I have moderate empathy for and in certain situations

[@rolandberger7493]

@@iv3nomousi How can you break someone's knee multiple times out of pure vindictiveness in order to destroy their sports career and still believe you are anything but a psychopath? I don't even want to start with the other things.

[@iv3nomousi]

@@rolandberger7493 - Easily. You don't know the back story, but I assure you, easily