Introverts | 4 Types

[@MedCircle]

Access the FULL MedCircle video series on introversion & mental health with Dr Ramani HERE: *bit.ly/36JBCz0*

[@abeach5420]

Sooo glad Dr. Ramani is back again and speaking to more subjects other than her specialty.

[@abeach5420]

Also where is our Kyle....he is not on channel like he was.

[@donnapiraino3323]

I think I have been each of these introverts at points of my life…..I was always described of a shy and quiet as a child..an observer….Definitely the first three speak to me… I have been in supervisory positions where I would have to conduct meetings and speak to groups of employees and I would feel myself trembling inside…I would feel exhausted after the day…

[@donnapiraino3323]

Yes my brother was nicknamed the politician In our family he was such an extrovert….EVERYWHERE we went he knew someone…I went to my own 30 year HS reunion…With the encouragement of my long time friend of course….And Because I was so shy throughout my years in school 🏫….Wearing my name tag….People asked me if I was Party 🎉 🎊🎂🎈Marty’s Sister ….People in my class knew my brother But had no idea who I was….& He was two grades behind me …🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[@melinaburkhardt421]

@@donnapiraino3323 That is so unfair! But isn't there a comfort in Dr. Ramani's words? Not the extraversion-adoring world is on our side, but there is a wise well of wisdom in us. And think about the immense strain your brother must be in when he has a bad day in public and his performance runs badly! Not being the center of attention can have its merits, think of all the time we can invest in social studies on such HS events without being bothered by shallow yays and hellos and wasted small-talk! Nevertheless I decided to skip my own 30yrs HS meeting. I feel more like day dreaming 😉. I was there for the 20th and felt drained afterwards. Too many people, too much masking.

[@tracy3812]

I have to admit that I didn’t struggle with the isolation many felt during Quarantine.

[@EphemeralProductions]

Me either. Lol. It was “another day” for me.

[@sapodilla25]

I loved being at home and having my day to myself lol.

[@BonesAndButtons]

Heck, I enjoyed it!

[@Mommasun_]

I loved it I wouldn’t mind another one lol I wish the country shut down for one month a year lol that would be amazing

[@altheapaolucci234]

I definitely enjoyed not having to deal with social pressures during quarantine. But at the same time it kind of set me back, it was hard for me to get back out there.

[@RustyHarrington-p5z]

I love being alone, I don't get any value from shallow superficial conversations.

[@SpaceLife80]

That is exactly how I feel!

[@ArtfulTwist]

Same 😊

[@beaniesonna3052]

Thank you! I thought I was the only weird one

[@hilariousname6826]

The value of 'superficial conversations' is that they can lead into deep conversations. You can begin talking about the weather and end talking about the meaning of life - or whatever.

[@RustyHarrington-p5z]

@@hilariousname6826 They don't always though, introverts don't get any value from talking about superficial conversations on a regular basis. Yes they can start out superficial when getting to know someone, and for the extrovert this is enough satisfaction, for the introvert it isn't, and that is nothing that needs fixing it's just differences in how people relate to others and their environment.

[@dianaunger3269]

I work with children and observe a lot. The introverted child is like finding gold I love it when they feel comfortable with me. The pearls they drop are amazing.

[@howellwong11]

I'm an introvert because I am shy. I interact with people only because I had to. Now that I am retired, I like to be away from people. My wife is an extrovert and I thought that she would change me, but I was wrong. She does keep me from being a hermit, so that's good. I am 91 years old.

[@fuyuukifukada7491]

Shyness by itself is *not* introversion. I started out not wanting to get close to people, shuttering if I had to do public speaking. Now I work at a job that requires to take phone calls (do much better than my less competent extroverted coworkers), I can speak to every random people, score freaking 21 out if 50 of anxiety introversion score. Except my restraint and social introversion scores are over 45 out of 50. You will NEVER see me throwing myself in parties, but if there are important things to raise, I WILL speak up. If emergencies arise, I WILL take charge if nobody else are present or capable to. However, you CAN be shy *and* introverted.

[@kamarikucheza]

​@@fuyuukifukada7491 lucky man; a good wife and a long life. 🎉

[@pistachiosandpopcorn7146]

My husband is an extrovert and you give me hope. He’s so extroverted that I assumed one day he’d dump me due to me being introverted. But you have been with your wife…who knows how long…so that lets me know it can be done with one introverted and one extroverted. He’s a Gemini btw if anyone believes in that…you know what I’m talking about…social butterfly.

[@EvelynBaron]

@@pistachiosandpopcorn7146 I had the same relationship with my late husband. (Sagittarius if it means something, I'm Aquarius). The wonderful thing was that we as a Venn diagram overlapped a lot in our interests but we were both independent so I never felt I was obliged to do stuff with him and his pals it was great, and I never minded having our place occasionally filled with people since I could easily retreat (or not) and he was fine with it. It was a fine balance perhaps but he remains irreplaceable.

[@marciehaley5870]

Extroverts recharge by being with other people and introverts recharge by being by themselves. I'm an introvert and when I heard this, it was life-changing. It explained so much.

[@JackieJ-z7c]

Right!!.😊

[@JasonPacheco-wf8xe]

It was exactly the same for myself. Iv never understood why iv wanted to go to different outings but at the last minute talk myself out of it. And so much more that I never understood. Thank you

[@jazzyj7490]

Tooooo true, love my quiet home, love my quiet time, keeps me balanced. 🌺🌺🐢

[@crescentmoonchild4031]

I can’t plan too much…it stresses me out…like if I socialize then I want to be at home some too..just to recharge and like you I didn’t realize I was doing it but now I understand and appreciate myself more.

[@katherineheasley6196]

I'm a teacher, so people are surprised when I say I'm an introvert. To me, while I'm teaching, I have my armor on; I have my "teaching face," and it's that part of me that interacts with my students. It's not the full me. I've heard of entertainers who are quite introverted, so their public face and the one they show to those who know them are quite different. I think it's important for introverts to have their armor. In Japan, they understand that everyone has a "tatemae" (face you show the world) and a "honne" (inner self). Here in the US, you're thought of as being inauthentic if you have a public and private face, but everyone has them. You protect parts of yourself. There's nothing wrong with that.

[@nrivera4380]

I love being an introvert; however, people especially in the workplace have discriminated against me and treated me awfully. The feeling of being constantly misunderstood and mistreated left me depressed and burned out.

[@Not-the-usual-BS]

😢😢yup all my life!! I never fit in I was always harassed blamed and ended up fired ,left out of things and called weird, crazy, ect it’s been painful to say the least

[@tracydanneo]

Same. It’s discrimination, though, and exclusion is wrong.

[@desb3459]

nice to know I'm not the only one...

[@langdonulgar2185]

They thought you were rejecting them by keeping to yourself which hurt their self-absorbed egos. They can't grasp the idea that not everyone finds them interesting.

[@ginastraw1087]

Exactly! I’m older and it is still a struggle everyday with any work place. Thank you for sharing. ❤️

[@melissastoops5049]

I'm very much an introvert. I always found the term "shyness" as something others projected on to me because they never bothered to talk to me or get to know me.

[@digby_dooright]

I'm a social introvert. I don't even like having neighbors next door, but I don't want to live in the forest completely alone. I want someone close enough that if my house catches on fire they can call the fire department. But I don't want them coming over to talk to me either. 😂

[@charlesclawson3445]

Im introvent, im not shy, people drain me and I need alot of space.

[@CuratedVibes]

I used to get annoyed when my family would constantly label me as shy. My sister was always super loud and demanded 24/7 attention so I never bothered expressing myself to the family.

[@CuratedVibes]

@@digby_dooright hahaha I feel you on this. My neighbors rang my doorbell to introduce themselves yesterday. We stood outside for 15 minutes with them asking me really personal questions. I tried to wrap the convo up a few times but they kept chatting. I will now avoid them every time I see them outside.

[@junosynth]

@@charlesclawson3445 You are probably a empath. You absorb their energy and need to time to release it.

[@athenaanna333]

The quarantine was the best time of my life. Working silently at home. No travel stress. My husband around. No intrigues and lies at the office. Less laundry work. Much space in the calendar. So happy these years!!!

[@BeeBeeBell]

Oh wow! I am "A Thinking Introvert"! I am never lonely and can always entertain myself with my own mind, research, analytics. I didn't realize there were different types of introverts. Thank you Doctor Ramani.

[@iceangel1701d]

I was surprised at myself at how relieved I felt when I had "permission" to stay home all the time during the pandemic. It really was nice and it was also fascinating to watch "regular folks" struggle so much due to the "isolation". It was kind of like the whole world got "softer" in a way. It was quieter due to the reduced air flights and cars, even the trains slowed their endless supply line march. People that you did see outside getting mail or at the grocery were fewer so it felt like everything and everywhere was a little roomier and calmer. It was just nice. I actually miss the sequester part...obviously not the pandemic part...lol.

[@SummerLuvinAlai]

I definitely know how you felt! You put my feelings into words so nicely. 😊

[@moonmissy]

ya know... It was an introvert's heaven! I love the pandemic because I spent so much time alone and didn't feel guilty about it.

[@iceangel1701d]

@@moonmissy True that!! lol

[@vocalbooth8585]

Exactly!!

[@ridita5221]

I'm struggling to go back normal. I enjoy this hermit lifestyle too much.

[@Morastbiene]

"You're so quiet" was one of the first things I've always heard people (adults and children) say about me when I was a child, as if it were something negative. I grew up thinking there was something wrong with me and getting bullied just seemed to confirm it. Allowing myself to just "be me" changed a lot for the better.

[@letsgoBrandon204]

I never got the "You're so quiet" comments despite being painfully shy. I think maybe it's one of the many differences between American and British culture (I'm assuming you're American 😏). Here in the UK almost nobody says anything and I kinda wish they would so I'd at least have the opportunity to say something even if I can't bring myself to actually do it. Being ignored makes it soo much easier to avoid and sink into rumination. It's nice that you've been able to be yourself

[@ericabomar9130]

That phrase is heart wrenching to hear… I grew up with being told to “talk more”, “don’t be so shy”, and many other phrases. I agree with your sentiment that “just being me” is key.

[@Morastbiene]

Oh yes, those lines sound very familiar. I'm sorry you had to experience it too. It took me a long time to come to terms with it, but that's one of the benefits of getting older. :)

[@Morastbiene]

Hi from Germany where we like to measure and compare everything by certain standards, haha! 🙄 It took me a long time to rethink the bad experiences, but that's the good part about adulthood. Don't feel bad about being shy! There's nothing wrong with it, unless you feel that it's affecting your life in negative ways. In that case you can always take baby steps! :)

[@b.santos8804]

I heard that a lot, too. And yes, it was always with a negative connotation, usually with the implied notion that I was "stuck up." I am introverted, in varying degrees of the types described here. I think I was mostly an "anxious" introvert - because I was always afraid of saying the wrong things and being ostracized because of it. I was definitely poorly socialized as a child and never had many friends growing up (and still don't) because I always ruminate on the embarrassing or inappropriate types of things I said when in conversations or social settings.

[@barbdowns1]

I totally agree with your observations. I consider myself an introvert in that it takes a lot of mental energy for me to be “social”. I love people and I can be very gregarious and talkative. I love to “people-watch” and learn things through observation. But, after a lot of social activity, I need quiet time to process and absorb things, and get my battery recharged. It’s fun to be with friends and family, but I can get “all peopled out” after a full day of interaction, no matter how much I love the people I’m with. My quiet time restores my focus and energy stores. I deeply value time I can take from my day for reflection, so I definitely relate. Thanks for sharing these things in this video. I feel validated 👍🏻😊

[@BCHODOSH01]

Your description of yourself describes exactly how i am as an introvert.

[@colleenfusetti7706]

@ Barb, I could have written each and every word myself. Ty so much for articulating. DR. Damani...I feel liberated and understood for the first time!

[@flyprincess69]

Me too…

[@nathanjohnson7419]

And then extroverts will tend to think that u are bored of them or take it more personally that u don't want to hang out, when really u just need to recharge

[@angeleyes3386]

That’s how I am, exactly

[@juliepatchouli3944]

I am a combo of social/thinking introvert. I love love love my own space and time. I ended a 31year marriage to a narcissist and I am very excited at life by myself. I am not scared to be by myself, it’s freeing and peaceful.

[@xoxjelloxox]

Good for you!!

[@ghostworld11123]

i believe there is definitely an attraction pattern between this type of person and narcissists

[@arthurdoty3675]

Sorry about that

[@WhitemenaresoSexy]

👍👍

[@WhitemenaresoSexy]

It feels good to be free

[@Africanbeautyy93]

“We introverts as sort of curators or sommeliers who are very careful about who or what we bring into our lives” wow! Well said!!

[@cramperella]

Western society treats introversion as a disability or negative personality trait. In most of the world it’s seen as a positive and accepted to be an introvert. My parents made me feel like a freak for being introverted, so did my teachers.

[@Not-the-usual-BS]

Yup I was told I was hiding, weird, miserable and should not be around people.. wtf!!! I have a great personality and I’m certainly not miserable to people! I don’t put up with bullying so I guess that makes me an outsider

[@YukiTombo]

My parents are both introverted as am I, and I think they never got to the place where they could be truly be OK with it. So they projected their self-shame onto their introverted kids. It's quite sad.

[@sapodilla25]

I live in India... If you're an introvert life is very difficult here! The vibe here is that you have to be loud and forceful to get your message across, you have to be constantly active, you have to be interesting, it's exhausting to be around this chaos all the time.

[@katieandnick4113]

True introversion actually is a sign of childhood trauma/abuse/neglect. It’s pretty rare for someone to be naturally introverted, and even the most naturally introverted people typically want to be surrounded by a few people they love, even if they do need more alone time than the average person. We are a social species. Introversion to the degree of being a hermit would not be conducive to the propagation of humanity. That degree, or type, of introversion, is nurture, not nature. I say this as a natural introvert, with very little to no childhood trauma history.

[@RPKraul]

Without introverts, there is no art to spare extroverts from dying of the truth.

[@the1betterpodcast84]

1) Social Introvert •enjoys a curated social group, social w/ depth 2) Thinking Introvert •healthiest Introspective, people watchers, ponderists 3) Anxious Introverts •afraid of scrutiny but wants to be social, looks back on interactions, misses good social opportunities 4) Restrained Inhibited Introverts •reticent, restrained, wise words

[@rossita6634]

Thank you so much

[@srijohnston8709]

💕

[@the1betterpodcast84]

@@JesusLovesBest and "An unlived life is not worth examining." - A Fellow Introvert

[@jodymckay6113]

If there’s a 5th category that has traits from the other 4 mixed together, that would definitely be me

[@LittleMissDeeDee]

I think I’m a mix of 1/2.

[@arlenerivera6631]

I hate parties. I feel like I have to fake being someone who is gregarious and open for all the extroverts out there. But, I'm observing everything and end up going off alone after the party, then I analyze everybody I've just been with or met. I love people watching and I can go anywhere alone. Bad thing is, I seem to attract more attention, good and bad, when I sit quietly by myself. My favorite pastime is walking my dog and enjoying fresh air, having a purpose, and just doing something that brings out my loving side. People mistake being alone with loneliness. But, being alone and independent is a happy time for me.

[@rondihoover5605]

You and me both. You just described me perfectly. Kudos to you Arlene. Good job being yourself. And not living up to other peoples interpretations and expectations of you.

[@tlc6756]

Me too.

[@denisadellinger4543]

There is a big difference in being alone and lonely. I live alone and go by myself to a lot of activities. I eat alone in restaurants. I felt funny at first but it's fine now. I travel alone. If I waited for someone to go with me, I'd never go.

[@nielshoogev1]

I refuse to go to parties, unless I have a job to do. I actually enjoy working at parties and I enjoy watching other people partying. I also enjoy loud music and a hectic environment, but I want to be in my own cocoon. I do enjoy the company of small groups (up to four people), but then I like it to be a bit more quiet. After that, I'd like to be alone. The last time I gave a birthday party was more than 20 years ago, and the last time I went to a birthday party was just as long ago. I really don't like these sort of event. I also avoid any work related events. I never have drinks with my colleagues after work, but I do go out for lunch with one or two of my colleagues.

[@XlogicXX]

I agree with this. Sometimes I do feel guilty for wanting some alone time away from the spouse and kids to do nothing special but my own thing.

[@SuddenUpdraft]

At 68 a trusted therapist indicated that I’m introverted. It’s been a revelation! I feel guilty and “less than” for not having life long friends, for spending most of my time by myself, for dreading group activities and feeling exhausted after them. I’ve been regarding these behaviors as character defects and it’s a relief to know it’s just the way I am.

[@ExclusivelyReclusive1]

I'm a Thinking Introvert for sure. One great way of explaining it, let's say you have a family dinner, everyone is talking discussing subjects but you're often quiet thinking about the subjects they talk about. When you then give your opinion you've already thought a long time about the subject and often when you then speak it often comes out as the most ''smart'' or well thought out. Often people talk before thinking, Thinking introverts do the complete opposite.

[@meiragoodfriend4541]

Me too. But growing up, in some way my opinion was not encouraged so I just stayed inside my head for so long. So sad😢

[@PolineChan]

Exactly. That's why sometimes I can't response to jokes spontaneously. My brain has to process it, and craft the response before I can speak 😞. I can't be responsive as extroverted people. Some people talk then they realize what they said after.

[@alexr6114]

And sometimes, other people cannot accept what an introvert says because many non-thinking extroverts do not have the background to understand or the desire to even think.

[@elainebmack]

I am a lifelong introvert. My oldest sister labeled me "retarded" when I was a kid because I didn't talk very much, but my mom reassured her that I was ok, just quiet. I'm grateful to both of my parents for letting me be me. They left me alone, and I turned out just fine.

[@joshpatrick8809]

Lol...one of my sisters tells everyone that I'm autistic to explain my introverted behavior. I haven't spoken to her in 2 years...

[@Shon9tilR]

@@joshpatrick8809 Same. I cut off my sister and best friend. That’s disrespectful.

[@steggopotamus]

My sibling told me that she was introverted so I couldn't need more space than her. Turns out I think she's a social introvert (and a vulnerable narcisisst), I'm a mostly thinking introvert. But she refused to see any justifications for my differences and just wanted to justify not letting me out of her zone of control.

[@temi4116]

I expect respect from family and long time friends and aquaintenances just like I do everyone else. I DONT let bad behavior and words go by when coming from family and persons I've known for a long time. If they think they are entitled to say crappy things to me,or exhibit less than kind behavior,then they learn I won't connect with them. Same measuring stick.

[@yinkabalogun561]

@@temi4116 same here

[@user-gv8kh3cd8m]

1. the Social Introvert 3:16 2. the Thinking Introvert 5:52 3. the Anxious Introvert 8:25 4. the Restrained/Inhibited Introvert 9:42

[@gss9134]

@J: Thanks!

[@acharich]

🔑👍🏾

[@jadea.2694]

I think I am a combination of all of these.

[@Elohimschild5]

Thank you!

[@paulvoorhies8821]

@@jadea.2694. Yep.

[@kimberlycolton5921]

I have been very introverted my entire life. When I was younger I would use alcohol and drugs to get over the anxiety of being around people I didn't know very well. I always felt awkward and different. After many chapters in my life I am now 49 and very comfortable with my weirdness and I value my space I can be totally comfortable alone and in my own thoughts or around my very small but trusted circle. And happy happy happy.

[@pabloescobarschanclas]

this is the level of self-acceptance i am aspiring for 🖤🖤🖤

[@RoxanneRichardson]

I realized only this year (at age 60!) that I am an introvert. I'm completely at ease in social situations, and when I have spent time teaching, or with friends, I tend to have that social high often equated with extroversion. Going to an event where I don't know anyone is both draining and, frankly, boring. I'm an information seeker, so if I don't have someone to connect with and talk to about things that are of mutual interest, I can't wait to leave, but as long as I connect with one or two other people, I'm fine for hours. I spend a lot of time inside my head. I had no trouble moving overseas (twice) by myself (I started going to movies alone when I was nine.) While I'm always happy to go places with other people and share an experience, I don't deprive myself of an experience just because no one else wants to go. There aren't enough hours in a day to have to myself.

[@pgray5223]

As a 70 year old introvert who has always been surrounded by extroverts, I can testify that a lot of energy is spent trying to convince introverts that they have a mental issue. I had a narcissist for a mom, so I really got whammed. But as a thinking introvert, I have always spent a lot of time watching people and figuring what makes them tick. When I was in high school, I finally realized that I was OK the way I am. I realized that I had never hurt anyone, that I had friends and that it was fine if everyone didn't like me. I have 5 kids and only 1 is an introvert and most of my grandchildren are extroverts. My husband is also an extrovert. They all understand that mom needs her space and respect that. And I let them all run around like crazy things and happily wave goodbye as they go off to interact with dozens of other people. 😁

[@essanjay8604]

I love that image - happily waving people goodbye as they go off to interact with dozens of others. That's me as the first guest to leave the party! Two or three hours is the max I can enjoy social interaction without glazing over and needing to go and recharge my batteries.

[@christophergame7977]

Your four types of introvert are defined by a mixture of criteria. Social and thinking introverts are defined by 'styles'. Anxious and reticent introverts are defined by 'pathology'. The two criteria may be expected to clash often enough. Better to recognize four 'styles', or four 'pathologies'. That way the criteria can't clash. Now we ask, are there four 'styles' of introvert? Are there four 'pathologies'? Are you interested here in 'styles', or else, in 'pathologies'? Or both respectively?

[@UranusRising]

Thank you for this. I'm black and American and introverted and it's always been difficult operating within certain expectations that people have of you. I lived in east Asia for a few years and it was nice being in a culture that doesn't value extroversion on its face. I had to read Susan Cain's book "Quiet' in order to understand this dynamic and realize that nothing is inherently wrong with either style, but the issues tend to arise with values that any given culture assigns to them.

[@quickgirl80]

As a black female American myself, I know exactly what you’re talking about when it comes to other people’s perceived expectations of you. As if individual personalities don’t exist among people within a certain demographic. Btw - I often go by PlutoRising on other platforms. I just thought our similarities are kind of cool.

[@Shon9tilR]

I’m black too. And tired of people comparing me to the loud outspoken black women. They think somethings wrong with me. We are not all loud. It sucks because the quiet or introverted non blacks at my job people say nothing about them. And my supervisor she can’t wait to call me out on it. I got a feeling I’m going to cuss them all out one day. And what does my personality have to do with the job. We clean.

[@temi4116]

To Uranus rising....btw..I have Uranus rising also...Ive been reading Susan Cain's book, "Quiet", and I thought of her book as Dr. Romani mentioned some points and was glad to be validated as an introvert once again.

[@temi4116]

@@Shon9tilR Yes, the supervisor needs to get a grip. She needs to dump her preconceived stereotyping. Sounds like she needs to experience being around a lot more people of many kinds. She can do that by putting herself in those situations purposely . (Hey supervisor... open up, and change your thinking, dump your style of categorizing people. Your reward will be to become more free doing so!)

[@imaanadams5987]

being a person of colour and introverted is difficult because everyone is encouraged to be loud and outspoken so people see you as snobbish when youre actually shy or prefer to be quiet

[@caramelcocoa234]

I’m definitely a social introvert. But I’m realizing ppl don’t understand why I get so depleted “randomly”. When it’s not really random, I’m just in need of alone time away from every sentient being around me. So I have to create boundaries ❤️

[@alyssa0411]

I’m a mom of 2 and I’m married but every night after dinner I have to go upstairs and read quietly. I realize I was that way when I was a teen living with my parents. Always off alone in my room at night. Never snuck out to go hang out with friends because I just wasn’t into that. I preferred “me time”

[@ravingcuriosity6345]

What I noticed is that many extraverts get offended when I try to set boundaries. I just say like "well, this is not something I am willing to join you for", or "right now I need some time alone". I don't see how that can be rude (to be fair I couldn't care less how they feel about that. I respect the boundaries they, and others, set to me, so Im sure as hell will have my boundaries respected!)

[@shane_asylum]

as an an introvert, I can speak out loud for hours to an empty room. as long as there is no one to interrupt or judge, my mouth and brain just keep speaking. that is why youtube is gold for introverts. Extraverts need an audience that they can see and feel. introverts are thought stopped by anyone they see and feel. that is why the internet works for introverts.

[@aynilaa]

I agree that KZbin is amazing for introverts. To me, it’s always great having someone telling you things, but you don’t have to talk back and make an effort to keep the conversation going. It‘s not exhausting, you can pause anytime to reflect on things or research them, choose another video, take a break or put your phone away. It can be deeper than small talk and you can learn a lot about the topics you care about.

[@melinaburkhardt421]

There is something about yt. I learn a lot and I like the choices I can make. I have my favourites and also enjoy not being talked back and distracted, being able to listen to vids again and again. I gave myself a treat and booked premium yt for a few months but I think it is getting too expensive for me at the moment so I have to put up with commerce. That sucks sometimes.

[@yummykitchendirect4528]

@@melinaburkhardt421 for sure on yt you can learn alot without anyone to distruct with their attention.

[@tlc6756]

I know, I often practice telling stories about significant life events in my room alone and I sound so good, clever, confident funny and engaging. But if I'm new in a group of people ... Just making eye contact with people can side rail me or if I feel my conversational style is markedly different I can't pull it off like I did when I was by myself. Definitely something I'd like to improve on, but I also give myself some slack because I know I'm a Highly sensitive and pick up very easily how others are thinking/feeling. Haha, I like that phrase... "Thought Stopped", I've never heard that before.

[@Trini190]

@@aynilaa yes indeed

[@Haven5644]

Thank you for clarifying introversion and for supporting us. It's not a struggle. I love it.

[@rousefire]

Older introverts seem to be very wise , secure, and confident.

[@CleverBrownFox]

I really love being an introvert! Glad to finally hear some good news about introversion :) we are not defective just a natural part of our personality.

[@gb9515]

Yes thank you 😊

[@TheBaumcm]

Introverts can turn inward enough to be self aware, often don’t require as much external validation because their internal compass is enough, and can observe people enough to have at least cognitive empathy. Not very many introverted narcissists as far as I can tell. It’s good to be an introvert!

[@craftyhobbit7623]

It's funny that you should say this about introverts not being narcissists because I follow another youtube channel on narcissism and they were pretty adamant that there were many introverted narcissists. I just thought that it was an odd thing for the youtube channel to do since introverts don't need to be around people as much as extroverts, so therefore don't have the need to seek out validation all the time. I would like to see Dr Ramani's take on this. I felt like the other channel mixed up introversion, shyness and social anxiety with the lack of empathy that narcs have.

[@Anonymous_Anon882]

@@craftyhobbit7623 many-an introvert (especially if they’re introverted feelers whose feeling-tone’s taken on a selfish pattern, coupled with bossy extroverted thinking) can be quite the narcissist. INTJs are probably up there with the more toxic/unhealthy Se-dom. variants when it comes to things like that. But ultimately the more introverted a cognitive function is the less intrusive/obnoxious/annoying it is to other people, because it’s self-contained. When those tendencies are getting help from an outgoing function (extroverted thinking) it ends just as badly as would be the case with a straight-up ENTJ Karen-narcissist but more often than not it’s internalised into a more hypochondriacal, self-loathing, depressive picture. I’d rather have the latter at my wedding or a barbecue motif than a typically-outgoing, charismatic one who wins sheep over with malignant gossip at every turn. I’d say intuitives and empaths (who can be introverted or extroverted in any sense, socially or in an MBTI sense) are the least naturally-narcissistic. People high in extroverted sensing (coupled with certain types of introverted feeling) are more inherently-narcissistic and you can see elements of it in so many walks of life (and I’m not saying that to assume psychological eminence in the third-eye sense all-round because I only know what I know, and that’s far from everything). Many ‘extraverted behaviours that are annoying to introverts’ (insisting on making small talk with random people every time you see them, headphones in or not, generally feeling entitled to someone’s vis-a-vis social energy when you’re not extremely close to them, feeling entitled to make lots of noise at all hours but daring to flip at an unassuming housemate for closing a door gently because of a specific kind of introverted hypersensitivity that lies dormant in them and comes out at the most random moments of the night) stem from narcissistic entitlement. Not all or even the majority of extroverted-sensing dominants are like that but when that kind of behaviour isn’t getting help from extroverted feeling (which is all about maintaining harmony and comfort between and for the people around you), that’s often how it starts. That’s why people like that get so weird whenever terms like ‘introversion’ are used. Quirks and ‘hypersensitivity’ are only okay so long as they’re theirs.

[@samanthas8340]

I'm and introvert but image a lot of narcissistist are also introverts but default as loner types. For one thing I think its exhausts them to try to impress and get validation when there so low on empathy, and therefore no likely to want to be around others since they don't care about them. They likely have a hard time cultivating relationships because people realize how shallow the relationships are. I think people often also confuse NPD and avoidant attachment which could confuse the introverted/extroverted correlation on this, but I would be interested to see if there's research on this.

[@Anonymous_Anon882]

@@samanthas8340 not if they have Fe or an Fi that’s directed towards moralistic musings (often deep affection for and care for animals). It’s when Fi is linked to Te that you’re in trouble (*cough* INTJ *cough*) but even then it’s not a given:

[@ritamelendez9560]

Beauty and the Boat. Love your comment. Totally agree!

[@M.j.7]

As a social introvert, people who haven’t known me for a long time never believe that I’m actually introverted because I can be so outgoing and cheerful. It’s definitely frustrating when new people expect me to be like that ALL the time though, like I need my solitude!!! I love my alone time, but the balance is hard to find so I usually just end up unhealthily isolating myself because I feel bad for not wanting to talk or make plans which makes keeping in touch with a lot of people difficult. Fortunately I do have a few that understand that I’m hard to reach but it’s not personal. I also prefer being actually present in person than texting, social media or phone conversations.

[@jennifer9047]

I'm exactly the same way! We DO exist! 😃

[@beckys2825]

How are you in my head right now? 😁

[@MsBettyRubble]

I'm the same way. I also know - usually - when I need alone time and schedule it. I add to my calendar 'shopping with mom', 'weekend with mom' or 'dinner with mom' or something like that. No one argues when I check my calendar and say, oh I'd love to but I'm visiting mom then. Find some reasonable excuse you can use with those who want an explanation. But understand, you ARE NOT REQUIRED to explain how you spend your time with anyone other than to a judge after a subpeona.

[@M.j.7]

@@MsBettyRubble thank you ☺️

[@kellydebriaisbacker5459]

Omg this is me!

[@erinarnett7596]

This video was so helpful. I am a social introvert and didn’t know that there was a label for it. I’ve been so confused because I thought if you wanted to be around people, you were an extrovert and if you didn’t, you were an introvert. Point blank. That’s it. I didn’t realize there were different types and I thought I was an introvert but I like to be around the people I love so I was so confused. This helped me understand myself so much better. I do think I’m a mix between social introvert and anxious introvert because I get so anxious even when I am around the people I love. Socializing is exhausting but I love it. But I also love my alone time. Thank you for making these videos.

[@EvelynBaron]

So fascinating to return to this topic ... The 4th category, the restrained introvert who has totally figured things out but gets overlooked definitely accounts for the imbalance of competence vs success in the workplace absolutely.

[@mssdn8976]

I loved the isolation of the lockdown, obviously not the rest of the negatives of the pandemic, but I loved having no pressure to visit anyone or have people over to visit me. So many people now are wanting to catch up and socialise, whereas I’m happy to carry on enjoying my own company. My husband is an extrovert and hated the lockdown

[@temi4116]

Yes, I welcomed the isolation as well. And the since, 6 feet spacing. People who must be less than 6 feet away from me bother my vibration. There are exceptions however that I am ok with. I expect that others respect boundaries and dont enter others needed space. Ideally people pay attention to others preferences. With some people though, 6 feet distance is about 5 feet too much away from others. Ha. They like people close to them and even touching them. They should stick around others that like that style.

[@leighcarlson87]

I did not miss going into the office at all during the pandemic. I held up quite well psychologically working at home and interacting on the phone.

[@acharich]

😅✨🙌🏾

[@Taniapin43]

I enjoyed my own company ❤

[@shanerob681]

I consider myself to be an introvert and I think that people often assume that I am a snob because I am comfortable being alone and do not come across as someone who needs companionship since I do not actively pursue new relationships. When my employer changed my position to remote work during the pandemic, I could have danced in the streets because I was so happy. I am still working remotely and would love the arrangement to become permanent.

[@ravingcuriosity6345]

Not being a total needy creature often gets one the label of "arrogant/snob/antisocial", eh? =\ Im so happy for your remote work! Im working my way to have it too. Nothing would please me more!

[@NomfundoMbatha]

This is exactly where I'm at now. Thank you so much for validating me. Recently realised that society criticizes introverts and that's why I was forever frustrated. I just want people to let me be and not comment on how much time I spend at home and that I should meet more people. I've cried so many times about this in therapy. I ended up feeling like there's something wrong with me. When in fact, I'm just introverted and it's okay.

[@naomimc7726]

Feel you soooo much. ❤️ My biggest agony is pleasing others/trying to be there for people but I can't because I'm drained.

[@ravingcuriosity6345]

In my early 20s I used to force myself to go to parties 2-4x a week, "because that's what makes normal people happy", and almost always leave the party too early according to my friends, and feeling empty and sad. The moment I decided to stop forcing myself on doings thing I was "supposed to enjoy", my life, mood, and self-esteem hiked big time.

[@justice4pixels]

For the first time in my life I've heard an adequate description of my introversion and now I realize I'm the 'thinking introvert'. I contemplate everything and also get loss down the rabbit hole with research on everything from disease to crime. I've been like that since I was a child. I also need to seriously reboot my engines after a long day at work. Being social is exhausting. I rather be alone. None of my extroverted relatives can understand. Thank you for this informative video. I will be watching more on this series.

[@aquamarinedream8304]

Being judged might suck, but what I'm always nervous about it being misunderstood or not valued.

[@RobertMertensPhD]

Look up Albert Ellis. It doesn't matter whether other people value you - what matters is that you value yourself.

[@anndavis2920]

Im a 61 bw & i have often felt unappreciated by bm in close situationships. I have became an introvert over the past 6 months & dont choose to be around large groups of people i dont know. I am al HSP so i need to be alone every day of my life to maintain my good mental and physical health

[@mini_skinny0296]

I'm a fan of crime shows and usually, when they describe the victim, they say: 'oh, she was a wonderful person, bubbly and vivacious, she lit up the room with her presence'. And in time this description induces the idea that only vivacious extroverts are beautiful people. And that they are living their lives at the maximum.

[@DaughterOfGod247]

Same. It's as if you must possess these traits in order to be worthy and valuable. If I left this planet, they would just say “she was smart and shy” that's it😂🥲

[@stolensilver6963]

I could never be described as bubbly. When I first started work I was criticised for being ‘too quiet’ - sorry, I can’t be something I’m not, you’ll never see me dancing on the table. Not being a super friendly extrovert has always seemed to have been seen as a negative. I would never even try, I’d have burned out in minutes. I’m still of the opinion that going out is a waste of a good night in.

[@KanyeKetchup]

Prob just Liquor & Coke makes loudmouths

[@wintermatherne2524]

And they also describe the terrorists as disturbed lone wolves.

[@wintermatherne2524]

Bubbly people get on my nerves.

[@susantownsend8397]

As an introvert who was raised to be a “Southern lady” being “social” was not optional. The older I get, the less inclined I am to attend social events other than with fairly small groups of family or close friends. Your videos are helping me to relax into that style.

[@temi4116]

To Susan, Sure enough! As I age, Im more myself.

[@rosemaryclarke2348]

Just be your wonderful self!

[@jerlinej3516]

Yeah, I like to think of introversion as energy-based and shyness as fear-based. If I don't feel like engaging with people I ask myself "am I scared (of the unknown, of judgement)" or "am I just not in the mood?" Helps to distinguish which mood I'm in because sometimes I don't know.

[@Penny-bt4gc]

That’s a good way of explaining it. When I was little I was terribly shy and terrified of people. Now I’m more reserved and observe people and decide if they are someone I want in my immediate circle. Needless to say I have a small circle of friends.

[@tlc6756]

Sometimes they can correlate with eachother. I think the shyness or any fear can come from instinctively knowing we are different and don't fit in. All the typicals can look around and see the majority of people are like them so there's no fear of whether they'll be accepted. But an "A typical" is automatically going to sense they are in the minority. Plus, many of us are highly sensitive and creative, and often Creatives instinctively protect their creative self by not trying to conform for fear that they will lose their authentic self (which is very important to many). I think the subject of introversion can be complex.

[@temi4116]

I like that simple self questioning, Jerline.Just a quick check in to learn about self.

[@rosemaryclarke2348]

Never mind, none of us do! Love who you are! How do you know others aren't the same just hiding it! How many star names dread going onto the stage etc but hide it, I've heard of quite a few!

[@rosemaryclarke2348]

@@tlc6756 There's more of us around than you think! Read most famous people's lives and you find that many of them are, they just bury it a lot of the time.

[@steph9452]

As an introvert who has been diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder, I really appreciated and could relate to how you described the "anxious introvert". This whole video was incredibly well thought out and explained, thank you for taking the time to do this!

[@Aden851]

This video and the comment section is the most informative most important thing in my life, I never thought I’ll see so many people that I have so much in common in one place. I love you all my introverts family. ✌🏽

[@korereviews8088]

This is great - a natural complement to all your videos on narcissism. Would be great to see you do the same sort of deep dive on introversion. Especially since our society so heavily selects for qualities associated with extroversion... and narcissism. One example: the disadvantages faced by introverts in the job market/workplace.

[@Not-the-usual-BS]

I always got fired or ended up quitting jobs because I was mistreated

[@tracydanneo]

That struggle is definitely real. I follow some autistic writers on Twitter. There’s a lot of “here’s what neurotypical people expect at work” and stuff about masking that has really helped me understand how hard it is for people who aren’t extroverted to thrive in our society.

[@valeriemoore2080]

Thank you for differentiating between shyness and introversion. The two are often mistaken for one another. There are lots of us who are introverted, but not shy.

[@sylviaowega3839]

I’m actually the thinking introvert. I love to engage in a lot of thinking, reading a lot of philosophy, psychology and write excerpts about the ideas I have. I’m very introspective and don’t mind watching people for afar. I don’t mind going to the odd social, as long as they are very far and in between.

[@dejavugodssonxrp6624]

I think you mean 'few and far between' :)

[@seanoconnor4591]

Your point at around 14:00 I think is the best take away for me. Where people push that message that something is wrong with you if you are introverted. I have always been quiet and reserved and preferred to think and watch but people always forced me to do more and it honestly felt like it was ripping me from myself.

[@sharlenechanner9849]

I finally feel understood! People always say im the life and soul and make dates to next fill my time and i feel myself recoil because i just want to be alone. I have such a busy work life and constantly give all of me, when i get home i so look forward to my me time, this is when i can recharge my batteries and i feel sad and anxious if that time is taken away from me. Thank you so much for this video it has helped me understand me much more 💛

[@thepressgirl]

This is very informative. I didn't realize all these subcategories. I can finally say I'm not just an introvert. I'm a thinking introvert. I can sit for hours just thinking. And yes, not in a bad way. I find peace and calm thru them.

[@kristinewinship9616]

Thank you for covering this subject. I'm an introvert, a lot of people seem to think introverts are anti-social which of course is not true. I think I might fall into the last category of introverts. 😊

[@TheNunududu]

I'm an introvert and my mom is a pathological extrovert (she's so friggen extroverted that I'm convinced it's a disorder, lol) and she could never understand that difference between us. She just couldn't wrap her brain around the idea that I just want to be left alone to be in my head. We don't really like each other.

[@tamicoil7069]

I could have written this! My mom was very extroverted and made me feel like there was something wrong with me because I was so quiet. I don't think we liked each other much either.

[@kaze_cat]

Don't know either of you, but it appears that your mother had/has an inability to understand different personality types. I also know that the lack of understanding can also be cultural, where some ethnic cultures (even if they are now in America) can assume that if you are quite or an introvert, that you are not intelligent. This could not be further from the truth. A 35 year (now ex) friend is an extrovert, however, she has no filter and blurts out comments or incinuations knee jerk without thinking what she is saying, and most of the time, will not apologize for anything she says. With respect to your situation, I was a super shy introvert child early on and I discovered much much later that I was raised in a narcissistic household (Father & 1 yr older sister, but mother was unloving, indifferent, and had to have been intentionally a tag-team with my sister against me). Obviously, the narc family members must have thought I was not intelligent for not responding, but I feel that actually "saved" me as I observed (and thought they were all crazy, save my 4 yr younger brother who I felt was a "victim"), but didn't respond. Didn't make it easier as narcs do the same thing over and over, the verbal or whatever attacks just became predictable for me. To deal with the (what I thought was just dysfunction at the time), I developed my artistic self and honed a bunch of hobbies (drawing, metalsmith & sewing) including reading. We do what we need to survive. It appears that you have survived and thrived.

[@sharon4534]

Totally get you

[@MargaretAl-Rekabi]

I am 76 and have only just realised after listening to you that I am a social introvert. In my working life and among friends I am quite happy to enjoy and lead the group and be the extrovert. But, I need time alone and cannot tolerate long hours with others chatting aimlessly. Recently my husband and I went on a group holiday and it was very intensive with long hours chatting among the group. It drove me crazy as there was no time to myself. My husband is also a social introvert and we get along well as we both give each other space. Having visitors to our home for a few days is challenging as we don’t have our own space. Thank you for your explanation. It sums me up perfectly.

[@patferry4128]

Narcissistic extroverts love bullying introverts by denying them privacy, while pretending it’s all about “helping you come out of your shell”. Any interaction with them is oversharing.

[@gentianvandewerken929]

They are called covert NPDs!

[@jjohnson7297]

That's soo true!

[@marita23]

Thank you so much for this video! As a social introvert, others often think I'm an extrovert. Which leads to lots of misunderstandings when I say no to events or go home early from a party because I'm tired. Most people do not know that it is possible to be a social introvert.

[@tomklock568]

Absolutely agree with this all...I have varying degrees of all these facets of introversion and have felt often the pressure of our culture of the opposite!

[@VerryLongName]

That “time to myself to recharge” is even more important for me, an introvert with auditory processing disorder (APD). I get mentally exhausted listening to people and need that rest to recharge my energy and comprehension

[@srijohnston8709]

I can RELATE

[@srijohnston8709]

✅

[@Veronica-kv6nb]

I just found out I’m a social introvert! Understanding oneself is so freeing Thanks for this❤

[@magpiesmith971]

I’m an introvert and a social one. But when I find myself in a unfamiliar social situation, I become one of the other 3 types of introversion depending on what is happening or the kind of environment I’m in and the people who I’m in contact with. I may become anxious or watchful, or I may not say anything at all until asked. As a young person, this was more stressful for me, but as a 63 year old person I’m more confident and care less about what others think of me. And I’ve always been told there was something wrong with me and not the extroverts out there❤.

[@essanjay8604]

I get really peed off when I think about my childhood in the late 50s/60s when an introvert was made to feel like someone with a problem. Even in my working years I'd have people pass comments like "you're quiet aren't you?" as if that was perfectly acceptable yet I'm sure there'd have been a riot if I'd turned round and said "and you're a noisy gobshite aren't you?"

[@sandralantau7395]

Marti Olsen Laney (she wrote The Introvert Advantage and The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child) helped me to come to terms with and accept my introversion. One huge lightbulb moment for me was when she explained that introverts use a longer brain process to respond while extroverts have a shorter brain pathway and therefore respond more quickly. But while introverts respond more slowly, our responses are deeper and more considered. Extroverts blurt out the first things in their head. Excuse this very layman's interpretation of her scholarly work This allowed me to get over my feelings of inadequacy in the workplace when I couldn't think of things to say at meetings. I realised that this is simply how my brain operates and, thereafter, I would just approach the relevant colleague/manager after the meeting if I had any relevant suggestions or thoughts

[@nicoletasurdu7064]

Thank you, I was just looking in the comments to find the name of the mentioned author and the paper as it seems a very interesting material. If I may add, I think it's great you found an answer / an explanation that helped you view your way - introversion - through a different lens.

[@tlc6756]

That's awesome. Thank you for that, I'm going to get that book.

[@anastasiaseclipse6008]

Awesome book. I picked it up in a bookstore at the age of 44 and read it cover to cover right there! I always thought I was anti-social, but the book validated SO many things for me throughout my life. From that point on I often shared with people that I was an introvert. NOW, thanks to Dr R, I can add that I'm a "thinking" and "social" introvert.

[@АнастасияЦыганкова-ю4ь]

Well ut definitely doesn't feel like I respond longer, too quick for my taste ( But I am definitely social type

[@vladynick]

I'm definitely a social thinking introvert. Thank you for clarifying all of this for me.

[@arlenerivera6631]

I, too, am a social-thinking introvert. People usually believe I am an extrovert because I don't have a shy bone in my body, and I am a good public speaker in front of crowds. I like sharing knowledge and experience, but when it comes to actually enjoying myself, I like being alone with my thoughts. Does this ring true with you as well?

[@travelingthediaspora7996]

Me too! I sent this video to my hubby because he didn’t believe I’m an introvert. But I am!

[@travelingthediaspora7996]

@@arlenerivera6631 Yes! My profession requires me to regularly speak and teach publicly, and interact with people. I enjoy laughing and talking with folk, and I will strike up a convo with almost anyone. But I need my recharging time, thinking time and solitude. It’s essential for me.

[@dadiva2475]

Thinking Introvert here...been this way all my life since childhood. I love painting, reading, writing and oh yes, people watching. I have 2 close friends and you'll never find me in large groups. I'm so glad you cleared up the misconception that Introverts can't be gregarious and social. We can and we do when necessary, but we have our limits and we enjoy alone time. My employer likes to have happy hours quite often. I feel obligated to at least show up, but I almost always have that feeling of "being alone in a crowded room". I usually observe and chat a bit. But after a few hours, I need to leave to restore my energy. Thinking, observing, and self-reflection is what I thrive on. I can't do that with 20 loud people all around me at a happy hour setting.

[@estherphillip]

sooo me!

[@danteshydratshirt2360]

I will be controversial and claim extraverts are much weaker mentally than introverts as they NEED lots of attention from other people while introverts can just deal with no one and few people very easily

[@GeecheeMuslimah5]

🙋🏿‍♀️

[@ravingcuriosity6345]

This reminds me something I keep telling people: I wish I could clone myself, so one could go and do stuff, while the other (maybe the other 2 or 3) would just analyze everything that happened in my life (in the life of the one who is doing stuff, most likely).

[@fredericktheiner1284]

Thank you. I really enjoyed your video. A few years ago my wife, an extrovert, made the comment that I was shy. My daughter responded immediately, Dad’s not shy, he just doesn’t give a s#@*! I realized that there was some truth in that statement and since then, I have made a conscious effort to be more gregarious. Still not the life of the party, but somewhat amused how those around me, think of me as an extrovert.

[@glow1815]

Agreed. I'm an introvert. Exactly what you're stated. I go to parties but I don't like to shake everybody's hands or like to baha baha to much. I do like to sit in the corner and not expose myself in the center of attention. Sit and observe. My circle of people I communicate with are only my closest family only. I have a hard time trusting people from my pass experienced. I don't like people asking me personal questions and afraid they might ask to much questions.

[@cmk9495]

It’s so refreshing hearing about the different types of introverts. I believe I’m a mix of thinking introvert and restrained. I now wish I could go back to graduate school and do my thesis on introversion. So interesting!

[@sheilab4978]

I have really enjoyed MedCircle and really needed these videos. I’m an Introvert and My husband passed away 18 months ago. He had chronic back pain for several years, so we didn’t get out a lot. I have three friends that live in my area. I think they thought I stayed home a lot because of my husband and maybe I let them believe that. Now that my husband is gone they think I stay home and isolated because I’m depressed. Sure, I’m dealing with depression after losing my husband of 30 years. But, I am also an introvert, so I feel like dealing with friends can be exhausting, because they call to check on me all the time. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful, but I’m so exhausted trying to prove that I’m ok. Your video on introvert or depression really helped as I sent it to one friend in the group, so she could understand and tell the others. A circle of friends can be difficult when you are the only introvert in the bunch. And I’m the only one that has lost a husband. Thank you for all you do. I really appreciate you!

[@BCHODOSH01]

Thank you for this video. I'm an introvert who i believe has traits from more than one type of introvert description that you talked about in this video. The validation that comes from this video feels good. So often in my life extroverted individuals have tried to make me feel as if i'm abnormal for my quietness, need for quiet, alone down time,etc. Fortunately, i'm very comfortable with my introversion and how i live my life. Once again, thank you for this video, all your videos, and helpful information and advice. Be well.

[@Alex-Mex]

I always knew I was an introvert, and now I feel like I’m all stages of introvert. I am impressed and shocked of how accurate you described me. The closest anyone has gotten, only 1 thing you didn’t mentioned. We are very loyal to our friends and expect out friends to be loyal to us. What I mean about loyalty is the reasoning to the friendship. There are people that just want to use you and we will drop them quickly. I’m the kind of ride or die kind of friend but if you’re not like that then we don’t need to be friends. This is why our friendship list is very small. Hate to burst people’s bubble, but we are completely fine with that. We don’t need friends, we would like to have them but only if their loyal. I’ve tried to look past it and for years people have used me, for money or for rides or just when they need a friend. Like someone they really need to talk to, but when it’s the other way around they are a NO show. So I have changed my ways and I’m sticking to it cause I’m way more happier now 😌.

[@Whale15]

I often look back on the peak 3 months of COVID lockdowns as a highlight of my life. It was two of my great friends and I hanging out, reading books, and chatting each day.

[@light-yi2me]

I’m a proud introvert and people can’t imagine me to be one ;)) I call myself a thinker and an introvert. I feel completely drained after a dinner with a group people from work but not with a group of old friends. I love my alone times and constantly researching different things.

[@danix3638]

People can't imagine you to be one? What do you mean?

[@light-yi2me]

@@danix3638 They can’t imagine me as an introvert.

[@danix3638]

@@light-yi2me why? Because you have social skills and not hidden in a corner in a dim room with a book and a black yellow eyed devious cat in your lap, occasionally cackling while throwing stones at innocent neighborhood children (who think you are an evil witch) walking home

[@shannon6249]

This is so me… everything you said.

[@Tiffaloni]

I believe I’m an introvert and I believe society has always labeled me as shy, anti social or stuck up. But I know the real definition of anti social. But society uses the word in the word context

[@uzo7910]

Wooooow! I actually see aspects in myself all four kinds of introverts and can relate with most of the examples used here. Thank you for the last part of the video about giving myself permission to be authentic and being okay with just being my introverted self - however that chooses to manifest itself.

[@dannyshortwave]

I am an Introvert. I was very shy when I started school. I was that kid she describe toward the end of the video. I played alone a lot as a child even though I'm the youngest of 8. I often can sit out in my backyard and listen to the birds for hours. I'm a deep thinker. I never wanted to be the center of attention. Now I have a KZbin channel too. 😊

[@sharonguerra7440]

I used to go to concerts with friends who'd be asking, "What's wrong? Aren't you having fun?" because I liked to just sit and enjoy the music, even tho' everyone else was dancing and waving their arms around. I got tired of the question. It never stopped. I WAS having fun. Leave me alone to enjoy it.

[@juliejackman2649]

Love this!💕 We should accept ourselves and each other and every person has their own awesome part to play in the band. 🎷🎸🎹🎶

[@darnelltucker9163]

I like this video. I've always considered myself an introvert all my life, and I'm not ashamed it. For most part, it's how I stay out of trouble, lol. I had no idea of various types. I can say I identify with being a social introvert and a little of the thinking type.

[@chris_822]

Definitely a social introvert. I like talking to people, being friendly, having interesting conversations etc, but it's definitely got to be in a small group or 1:1. Big groups and lots of people are exhausting, but if I have a person or two in the group it's a lot of fun. Like going to a concert. I love that I can be by myself or with friends and not have to interact with all the people. I'm a teacher and I even find this to be true in a work context. I adore working in a small group or 1:1 (which is what I do,) but I find it so exhausting when I have 30ish kids to interact with.

[@mollyringwerm9224]

I'm mostly a thinking introvert but also enjoy being social, on my own terms. It's so interesting how extroverts really don't understand us. And because they don't understand us, I think they have even less of a right to judge us. I loved this video!

[@Taniapin43]

I agree with you. I choose my own friends and being introvert is amazing. We don’t need validation or any attention. ❤❤❤

[@73kristilee]

Yep, I'm definitely type #4. I'm the quiet one taking it all in, quietly observing while pondering everything's deeper meanings until I eventually open my mouth and say something and just like you said it's usually a boom, mic drop moment. It happens all the time in new situations. All the time. I definitely have the energetic introvert traits as well, I LOVE being alone, deep in my own thoughts and space and intuition to ponder concepts and meanings and higher levels of awareness. In not family or familiar settings, newer settings, while I'm listening to someone talk about their subject I'm multi tasking. I'm taking in every word, nodding and yesing whilst also trying to answer the bigger esoteric mysteries of life itself in my head, as well as higher levels to what they're actually talking about too, so then when I'm asked either directly or socially cued to give my thoughts, because my mind is already in that deeper level, my responses tend to follow without even being conscious of it. I get the jaw drops all the time, people think I'm just sitting there either uninterested, or unintelligent, or boring. No, I'm just a very very deep thinker. And my responses show that I actually am very attentive attuned and interested despite what it looks like from your end. I definitely draw energy from a lot of time spent alone. I need it. I love it. I'm not anxious introvert at all, and not shy. Quite confident in fact. Very self aware and self confident. Just very very...introverted lol

[@Daijxo]

Thank you for this, I relate a little to all these types of introversion and have always love my introversion despite being told all the typical tropes of “you’re so quite”, “don’t be so shy” and “you need to talk more”. Although I never saw anything wrong with my introversion it definitely felt as if I should based on the feedback and at times it did get to me. I just have to remind myself that our society just prefers extroversion and that there is nothing wrong with either. The lockdowns really highlighted my introversion as my life didn’t change much. It was kinda weird not relating to everyone’s need to be “outside” cuz to me nature was always open.

[@sg2684]

Thank you for this video🙏. I feel I have to constantly explain myself and my introversion.

[@lucienelson]

Your so beautiful, Dr Ramani! And so smart and personable. BTW, I’m a shy introvert who “forced” by mother and teen leaders in church to be a closeted introvert. So I usually cloak my introversion with being a social butterfly, too readily introduce myself to new people. It’s exhausting. Which doesn’t help with my depression.

[@theeclecticlifewithsam]

Very true. It took many years for me to discover and accept that being introverted is who I am. It's hard when family members and society are sending you the message that something is wrong with you because you don't think and act the way they do. It's good to hear that we are unique and talented in our own ways. This video was super helpful and validating 👍

[@michellegiacalone1079]

This thinking introvert thanks you for your video. Now I'mma go think about it.

[@Urshi9]

Thank you Dr Ramani for delving into this often very misunderstood personality style. I can definitely relate to the Thinking and Anxious introvert. Although I think, as you mentioned that the anxious part has been from society being judgemental. As a child I was quite shy and a massive daydreamer, which actually got me into trouble in my early years at school 😬. Now when I think about it, I’m not surprised I developed anxiety around going to school in later years which meant my parents having regular battles with trying to get me there! I didn’t understand why I felt that dread though and neither did anyone else, which just eroded my self-esteem. It’s only now in my late 30’s (and now 40) that I am realising it all and piecing everything together, with the help of an amazing psychoanalysist. I’m really becoming ‘me’ 😊.

[@danteshydratshirt2360]

you always were you - its that cliche of finding yourself

[@angelakenyon7490]

Thank you for sharing this Dr Ramani.. I am an introvert, thank you for highlighting the issues we may face.. 🙏 ✨ x

[@genxnomad1978]

Although I really tend not to care much about what people think about me, I do have several characteristics of all 4 introvert types 😂 The funniest thing though, is that when everyone else started staying in during the pandemic, it actually made me feel safe to go out again 🤷🏿

[@clarity9405]

This is me to a tee. Just got back from a multi-day work conference. After schmoozing and in working groups all day, drinks and dinner right after was a struggle - had very little social energy left in my tank. And I can happily go to the local plaze or a beach alone and post up with a coffee, just people-watching. I am very much a socially capable, thinking introvert. Happy to have this affirmation!

[@Taniapin43]

I am both. That’s why I set my alarm because once I talk to my patients omg! I can see the smile of their faces. I like to eat while watching people walking and cars pass by. I agree with you Dr. Ramani.❤❤❤❤

[@yarnpower]

I always thought I was an introvert because I felt anxious in groups and exhausted afterwards. But a wonderful therapist, after talking to me for a year, told me that she didn’t think I was an introvert. She explained my ADD made being in a group anxiety producing because there was too much stimulation and too many distractions, which did leave my brain exhausted from the effort of trying to concentrate. So I am neither an introvert nor an extrovert but somewhere in the middle. Personally I find introverts nicer to be with, because they are usually great listeners who you can have rich conversations with. Really talkative extroverts can be exhausting to my ADD self and often leave me with the feeling of not being heard. 3 cheers for introverts!

[@ankhmorporkgirl5317]

I'm a thinking introvert/INTJ. I don't mind my own company and love reading, thinking deeply about things/meaning of life/multiple universes etc... yet people either think I'm aloof/snobby or shy and misunderstand me - when instead, I'm just very selective who I talk with or open up to.

[@booksarebetter29]

This was so interesting and I totally relate to different elements of each introvert.. whenever I'm around people for more than a few hrs I'm exhausted and just want to be alone. This can even include my husband and kids. I was always the kid reading, usually didn't have a ton of friends. Whenever I'm in a social setting, I do feel closed off and can't ever fully open up and will put on a mask. People always told me I'm shy as a child too. I do tend to be ponderous and love to ask questions about the world around me such as nature, people, behaviors. Thank you for this video, I needed to hear that being introverted is OKAY. Society has always made me feel that I was "weird, too quiet."

[@sfkeepay]

Fascinating. I’m 54, and I still can’t seem to find a description with which I fully identify. I’m very socially anxious, introverted, had a small number of very “deep” friendships, but I become a performer in large, structured groups of strangers (like conventions and trainings) where I seem to make “go for broke” attempts at humor (which are very successful more often than not) and/or comments that effectively synergize whatever collective efforts have come before and push ideas forward. But I HATE informal parties and will only attend if missing it would mean hurting someone close. Even then, I hide, literally if possible, until I can leave. When I have tried to participate, I’m very often virtually unintelligible (not because what I say is over everyone’s head, or too dumb, or verbally unclear)…which is why I just don’t go. I always did well in business meetings (I’m long since retired) but barricaded myself in my hotel room when others were socializing at offsites. I volunteer, doing street outreach, and I consistently rack up the most number of completed contacts with strangers, but avoid group “getting to know you” events with my fellow volunteers. The Thanksgiving table (when at my spouses’ extended family gatherings) is fun for me, but the pre-meal chit-chat and post meal-times are absolute hell. I am an excellent listener, including with total strangers, one-on-one. I pour my concentration into understanding person to whom I am listening, and the few comments I may make are only ever sincere and thoughtful. But those interactions are not “conversations”, as I don’t end up reciprocating the openness or apparent depth of disclosure. So many people, in my experience, end up asking for advice for a given problem they may be facing. But I rarely give advice, as I believe most already have the their own answers, which (with some narrow exceptions reflecting a lack of specific information i might happen to have) will usually be far better than anything I could have suggested. So I only try to assist them as they find their own solutions. Yet, I hate answering my own front door, because I don’t really wan’t to be seen. And I liked and miss the mask mandate. I’d hoped, on finding this video, that maybe my weirdness might be encompassed by one of these types of introversions. But I only recognize parts of myself. Still, who knows? Maybe I don’t see myself at all….

[@shea_river]

i miss the mask mandate too. it was so hard to start being "on" again in public...polite smiles and "hellos" etc.

[@WinterFerger]

It was very nice to hear this from a qualified professional who is an introvert, not just someone analyzing introversion.

[@scottnever8732]

this makes sense to me. I was always told that I was shy. a label I didn't like. i was then confronted at a party by a barmaid that thought I was arrogant. I told her I say nothing because I believe no one wants to hear it, i have no opion.

[@emirsaric7765]

The best way i can explain it as one myself: -i love social connection, but after a day or 2 of constant social connection i prefer to go home do some stuff for myself and be alone. -being alone doesnt bother me

[@koleyw932]

I have trained myself to be "on" in social situations, be charming, smiley, witty. I find it emotionally draining, but fun too.

[@meb280]

Some of us could use your 'secret' in how you achieved this.

[@koleyw932]

@@meb280 I don't think I'm full on introvert, but I enjoy quiet time a lot more than raucous activity.

[@aleece4]

Love what you said about introverts and being in the public eye. I’m an introvert and I LOVE public speaking! I’m also very friendly when I’m out and about, and not even a little shy. But I get exhausted by a full day of socializing and am energized by alone time.