From Mr.Perfect to a Monster | Nicola Hanney on the abuse endured at the hands of Garda Paul Moody

[@EmmyHeart1117]

This story is pretty much identical to mine - my husband was also a policeman and I live in Australia. The damage he has done to my children and I is horrendous, lifelong, evil and insidious. The abusers are regularly so similar in so many ways - it’s incredible! I was diagnosed with CPTSD and am trying to rebuild but sometimes it feels as though I will never recover. Unless you have lived through abuse you will never know how truely brutal and horrendous it is - it takes everything away from you until you are a hollow shell. To an extent, physical abuse is much easier to survive than psychological abuse. I never thought it could happen to me and I used to think “why don’t victims just leave” until it happened to me! It took me many years to even talk about what he did to me the damage was so brutal. I’m glad people are being more educated about abusive relationships however there is still a very long way to go 🙏🌈🦋😘

[@word_trouble]

Absolutely horrible. 🙏

[@CecilieRøsjø]

@@EmmyHeart1117 We know. We have been there. Please, don’t give up. It’s so so important for your children to see that healing is sh.. hard work, and you will get better. Otherwise they will a) choose a partner that’s exactly like your X, and b) be just as abusive themselves. It’s the only «love-language» their brain knows how to express. If you give in, on those dark days, when everything and anything triggers you, he wins. There’s security in numbers. Let’s make sure, that young people today have enough tools in their toolbox to see all! The red flags 🚩 and walk away, before it’s too little to late. The only ones that can truly understand and educate is those of us who came out in the other end, alive. Huge hug, from the opposite side of the world, Scandinavia. You can do it. You got more support than you know, and by finding your voice and telling your story, you have come a very long way on your journey to becoming yourself again. Well deserved well done 👏💕

[@bernadetteglancy4439]

@@CecilieRøsjøbrilliant response compassionate and wise x

[@CecilieRøsjø]

@ 🙏💕

[@eilidhmaclean8208]

I'm so glad you got justice. My story is almost the same as yours. My wee boy is even called Cathal as well. But I never got justice. He continues the coercive control taking me to court trying to get custody of my son. It costs so much. I'm glad sometimes women are believed and hearing your story I'm so happy you're free ❤️

[@colmanlong1032]

One brave lady,.fair play to her,for comming out of and dealing with a evil Narcissist.

[@Elizabeth-gf1zt]

This man sounds actually mad. He cannot change. Stay safe dear lady.

[@arlenechambers2419]

Well done to tell your story and escape the abuse

[@jujutrini8412]

She’s very brave to have fought through so much and to come out the other side. I wish her a happy and peaceful life.

[@Annie-ZA]

I remember this tragic story, what a ba$ard! Such an exquisite, beautiful soul inside and out.

[@lindagallagher3711]

What a beautifull girl he's an evil bully so very sad what she has been through with him.

[@CecilieRøsjø]

@@lindagallagher3711 it’s going on, right now, straight under your nose, somewhere. It’s a plague and it needs to stop now

[@imitationofwoman]

Domestic abuse is a criminal offence and any serving police officer who is carrying-out domestic abuse should be sacked.

[@CecilieRøsjø]

@@imitationofwoman They do. If someone press charges. The tricky part here is that occupation they have. They are here to serve and protect. Do you seriously believe a work-mate is going to get their head around the fact that their partner in the force is abusive at home?

[@JessicaFletcher-nn5ss]

Not that they're all bad. But I've worked in a womens refuge in the past and you'd be surprised how many wives of gardai call in.

[@paulcolin9926]

🤔

[@geraldineangelamurray3001]

It's the abuse of the power.

[@plj2084]

​@@geraldineangelamurray3001Hense why Most of these men & some women too" join the Garda Síochána in the first place....

[@geraldineangelamurray3001]

@plj2084 it's true. Your spot on. And its not only Men like you said. Ladies are just as bad when it comes to abuse in general

[@woman4womenkids547]

Police are known to have high levels of violence against female partners. They then protect each other, share new addresses, etc. At least in Australia.

[@bernieob9577]

Wow!! You are amazing 👏 and an inspiration, for other women and men ❤️

[@aileenoreilly9459]

Saw her documentary on tv,,very brave girl,,an I wish her love an peace an happiness x

[@philomenamckinley8287]

That was not a relationship that was a sentence

[@e2theoc]

Does she not feel nervous that when he comes out he will see all these interviews and want revenge? I applaud her brave honesty but it’s surprising to me the confidence to go on television if this person is coming out in only three years.

[@SiobhanKiely-bq4nq]

I was thinking the same. And does he and will he have contact with the son. No doubt he”l abuse that

[@spookyboo22]

He's inside now

[@Nonnabanana2]

He's a bully. A spineless bully who used his badge to try and bully her. He will skulk off and hide and try and find a new victim

[@mandyellis876]

@@SiobhanKiely-bq4nq I think that given his history of the behaviour he’s shown, it’s likely that she’ll be granted sole custody. Hopefully anyway!

[@interested2119]

It’s a awful pity this lady didn’t have any brothers, uncles, friends in her life to help her confront her abuser.

[@carlywright5127]

Often family are manipulated, told lies when family issues.

[@gloriasaliba3395]

She had brothers

[@keithp6699]

You can always spot the subtle signs of someone that was bullied before and who has low selt asteem. The problem is that there is always going be preditors out there waiting to swoop in on women like this. I hope she has learned how to protect herself going forward.

[@thesecretlifeofhuman]

Well done to Nicola for overcoming all of the massive challenges she’s faced. Don Hennessy, a relationship counsellor from Cork has written several brilliant books on this subject. How He Gets Into Her Head: The Mind Of The Male Intimate Abuser, is a must read. Don details exactly how these men operate to gain control over their partner.

[@EMc2-Zed]

You are very inspiring! Thank you so much for sharing your hard won battles so openly. It means a lot to many

[@anneroarty6473]

Yes my mind felt like broken glass . I have come through too. I too wanted a happy life too.

[@karatekai6384]

From the first time I seen your video which absolutely horrified me, must admit I watched it more than once, I just could not get my head around how cruel and such a nasty individual,but worse he was a law enforcement officer, he truly was like a character out of a movie your worst nightmare, but you, despite fighting cancer and taking on, your tormentor , against all the odds you came out of a nightmare triumphant, how cool are you, and inspiration to all those caught up in a situation that seems lost, their is hope and justice,you are triumphant actually you are the goat.🐐

[@elizabethbrown-xj3fs]

I escaped this kind of marriage a year ago. Except in Canada, they don’t see coercive control as a crime. When I finally said enough, he stole all of our money out of the bank account $530,000. He had his friends lie for him and say I owed them the money. He cut our electricity in November the children and I froze. he cut credit cards. He even cut his sons credit card who is travelling in Ireland at the time. He had no money and his dance teacher had to pay for his food. My children called the police over and over and the police would just tell us that they couldn’t help us because there were no bruises. He didn’t allow my daughter to leave the house and forced her to work for free. Courthouses, rcmp, judges need way more education on this type of abuse… I am so broken. When he would yell at me my brain would shake, it still starts shaking when I get scared. My only goal is to heal and help my children heal. I feel like a china doll that has been shattered and glued back together. 😢

[@martinamcenroe3027]

❤❤❤

[@pamelabrazier6576]

Any time i have seeked assistance from Gardai..they have let me down and sided with the man, always negative experiences and awful things said to me by gardai, i am traumatised by my interactions with Gardai

[@flowerpink724]

Im worried about her when he gets released

[@christinefinn6180]

I totally get what she sets re courts protection orders and the system I’ve been through it.. she is an amazing woman health and happiness to her and Cal

[@bthe1doright462]

Important to give space to HEAR from a Woman Who Suffered Being Kept Down - Being Kept Silent - And Finally Getting Free From an Abusive Controlling Man. Fearing Your Partner Is One Of the WORST Ways To Live - - It's Horrible To Think You are With a Normal Person and They Turn Out To Be a Selfish Mean Controlling Authority in Your Personal Life. Happy to See Her Doing So Well - - Believe Victims.

[@elainewallace-e1o]

I've watched this interview twice and still find it difficult to make sense of it..

[@LeeJahn-ih9xu]

I agree, they keep intervening and skipping all over, wish they just let her tell her story

[@ShineMedia1]

​@@LeeJahn-ih9xuyou could buy her book and get the whole story. Its very difficult to describe this kind of "relationship" in such a short time

[@StephanieMcManus-p9t]

Watch her documentary on rte player , taking back control

[@Ramblingpete]

Who could hurt this beautiful beautiful woman just don’t understand it don’t unbelievable

[@Ramblingpete]

I can’t believe this what a strong strong woman I hope your future will be brighter you deserve it top girl and so so beautiful 👍🏿

[@IFAMILYIH]

Very brave women sending lots of blessings her way from the uk 🇬🇧

[@fionasheepwash2718]

I can identify with everything she is saying, the ex is fortunate that I am in another country because if we had been in the UK I would have taken him to court for the same behaviour. I know he will repeat this behaviour again and leave a lot of broken and damaged people behind when he moves on to his next victim.

[@patriciadevlin5121]

Already have seen this interview on ; the late late show. Very honest.

[@johndoherty4976]

I hope he got booted out of An Garda Siochana a pure bully is all he is.

[@tekken278]

​@@johndoherty4976 I'm sure he's making nice new friends up in the joy. Loosing his job is the least of his problems now john..

[@michealhand1001]

​@@johndoherty4976probably joined the POU he,d blend in with them no problem.

[@plj2084]

​@@johndoherty4976 Have you not seen the mostly Irish Peacefull Protests 🇮🇪 all around this Country? As the Garda Síochána is nothing But Violent Anti'Irish Traitorous Tyrannical Abusers Now! As That think they are Above the Laws now! ) Which they do get away with it in this Upside down backwards Government Currupted Justice Judicial system now!

[@ainemurray8250]

There were a lot of red flags

[@rebeccadillon-tg9tc]

Miracles do happen for the right people 💕

[@elizabethcassidy2557]

I have had the pleasure of meeting this wonderful woman and so admire her she is a true survivor

[@joanneorwell9680]

He is sick never let him out electric hair

[@imeldatoner9438]

Obviously, fair play to her for sharing but she's not really giving examples of what he did to her. Wish she would give more clear examples so people could understand. Interviewer is doing her best, but I found this interview so frustrating and hard to follow.

[@word_trouble]

He better be banned from his profession for the rest of his life?!

[@StephanieMcManus-p9t]

He is… her documentary is on rte player , taking back control , he would blend in well with POU though 😡 I just finished her book it’s a great read X

[@sharon-o7v]

Ty Nicola

[@maryheeney3090]

Well done telling your story he's a bullie

[@anneroarty6473]

Omg that was the same as me.i had twins first and that is when things changed.

[@theresamorello9892]

Ignore red flags at your peril.

[@conorsmith8551]

I get you mean well by this but it sounds like you're victim shaming. You can't always predict who will turn into a monster.

[@Nonnabanana2]

😂😂😂 Raise better men. Hold your brother, sons, uncle and father to account

[@marshnn]

Nicola you are a heroine well done and best wishes to you and you son

[@carolineb7796]

Appreciate this lady coming on, though very hard to follow her story. Glad the presenters were there to keep her somewhat on track. With her public platform, would be great if she got some help with telling her story, as I’m sure it’s compelling and impactful but loosing its message somewhat in the delivery.

[@Mcgolfball11]

She has just released a book

[@joyherron]

I agree , harrowing story that needs to be told but I dont think the presenters done her any favors here. The timeline of their questions was all over the place .

[@imeldatoner9438]

I agree wholeheartedly with this.

[@StephanieMcManus-p9t]

She’s a documentary on rte player

[@elizabethecheverri7969]

Coercive control

[@megarichie007]

Well done Nicola :)

[@helenab7390]

Bait and Switch...its like they've gone to the same school to learn the same techniques....its subtle but not at the same time..questioning yourself constanfly...so many somen will id with this..

[@alanalycan3986]

The abusers parents & grandparents are also responsible for his behaviour. They created him into who he is. They are responsible.

[@luarena]

The woman interviewing is excellent the man is a disaster that poor woman how did she survive her abuser ? She's extraordinary

[@Olive_999-v6v]

That's rte.for you.

[@barbmckinnon1283]

This is a terrible story but she is certainly stronger. That female host couldn’t look less interested., you have a job, at least pretend for 15 minutes that you want to hear her story.

[@imeldatoner9438]

I think the female host was doing her best to draw some kind of coherent story out of her, but it wasn't working. I'm not sure why she thought she was on there, but surely the point was to tell her story so other people can relate and perhaps feel empowered to act on it. Story was confusing and unclear.

[@sabinakhan4051]

Wow she is incredibly resilient. Hats off to her, poor women im so happy she got justice! Men are so dangerous, marriage isnt on the cards for the majority anymore because of the dangers.

[@Ramblingpete]

What a gorgeous gorgeous girl why didn’t I see her first sorry I’m rambling again ❤️

[@TrayKe]

🤡

[@jujutrini8412]

Abusers always seem to pick the loveliest people to abuse.

[@corneliuscornia4436]

Usual suspect then!!

[@spookyboo22]

Well done beautiful

[@karensheahan5397]

Red flags were there ,hweva as she ses an i agree ..u dont see clearly whn in the fish bowl ..ive been boths sides