Is Adultery the Only Biblical Grounds for Divorce? | Little Lessons With David Servant

Some Christians claim that adultery is the only possible justification for divorce. Are there other biblical grounds for divorce? Find out in this Little Lesson with Bible teacher David Servant!
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[@thereseservais924]

Your video has brought me to tears of thankfulness for all the women being abused not only by their husband but by biased religious counseling. I have been there and I know personally other ones. Thank you so much for your insight in these kinds of situations not "clear enough" to get a clear and supportive answer of the local church. Before charging people with guilt naming divorce a sin, should one first take a look at what causes the divorce : at that place are most sinful behaviours (pornography, alcohol or drugs addictions, physical or mental abuse, lack of safety, ...). Thank you so much that you adres this in a very gentle, genuine and reasonable way. Praise th Lord and God bless you !

[@dh605x]

I'm glad you received this message well. It infuriates me to see abused spouses misled into staying in an abusive marriage because of the legalistic nonsense that some charlatans peddle. And when they do divorce, they are told they cannot remarry! What blasphemy is this!? Legalistic amateur theologians have a way of blowing certain verses well out of proportion and explaining away other verses that don't fit their flawed interpretation. Then they have to nerve to accuse others of "twisting Scripture to fit what they want to do." Some will even claim you are jeopardizing your salvation if you don't agree with them. If that isn't dishonest and manipulative, then what is?

[@elizabethfraser2996]

I divorced a narcissist after 24 years after a dozen therapists. I refer the divorce as a Husbandectomy. . The toxic tumor had to be removed . it was the separation of one flesh and was very hard but was necessary. My pastor and Christian friends were supportive.

[@Kelly-ls7pr]

David you're the only teacher I listen to now, your videos keep me going (during my separation from an abusive husband) and brighten up my day, God has guided me to your videos , thank you! Praise the Lord 🙏

[@sliver880]

very helpful…thank you….52 years of marriage…just came to realization over the last 2 years that I am dealing with narcissistic tendency….bless you! thanks for stepping into this for some of us.

[@sliver880]

Thank you..for stepping into this subject….I ask Father to bless you richly and that He will continue to give you insights…I see your Pastor heart !

[@jacquelineserra1921]

Wao!!! Thank you for this clarification!!! 😢. What about verbal abuses towards the wife and children? This sometimes is as bad as physical abuse. God bless you.

[@bethbluett4211]

As a Christian I put up with 26 years of regular vilfication, anger, and character assassination without any repentance, as did my children when they came along. Finally after reading 'Love Must Be Tough' by James Dobson, I realised I didn't have to stay. I left. I rang my 20 year old son at university in another state and said, 'Guess what? Ive finally left dad'. He said '20 years too late. Im carrying the emotiinal scars and regularly have to visit a psychologist because, you had the nouse to leave and you didn't.😢

[@bethbluett4211]

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

[@bisonhawk1]

You hit the topic from every angle brother god bless.

[@SheilaTrueLove]

ABANDONMENT (leaving) also means if they LEAVE their HUSBANDLY or WIFELY Duties. If a husband or wife no longer want to have sex or a man no longer want to provide they are ABANDONING their husbandly or wifely duties and therefore grounds for divorce are permitted. Anyone can just get married and say “now I'm not going to work or have sex any more...you're trapped”. You're NOT trapped because they have ABANDONED their DUTIES...Which is the same as ABANDONMENT. So there are TWO Biblical Grounds for DIVORCE. MATTHEW 5:27-28 - "You have heard that it was said, ‘You must not commit ADULTERY.’ But I tell you that if a man looks at a woman and wants to sin sexually with her, he has already committed that sin with her in his mind and heart.". - Watching PORN is the same as committing ADULTERY because it’s SEXUAL IMMORALITY. (Any type of SEXUAL IMMORALITY is (porn-ne-a)

[@chrisharris2367]

This confusing part of Christianity is the only thing keeping me here in this abusive marriage rife w all kinds of things including immigration fraud on my spouses behalf

[@roddiekoniel7962]

Thankyou so much, In my marriage I have caught my husband that admitted he committed adultery however, I have forgiven him and that is already love. I cannot change him but I believe God can change people. If diamonds can melt don't think anyone can escape the power of God's Word. TO GOD BE THE GLORY. 🙏

[@switchpathbyamypreston5428]

You did a very good job of explaining

[@martyortiz3762]

Thank you brother for this little lesson! I had just heard a teaching from brother Alan Parr and his was totally different and made me feel like I would be insane if I left my 30 year marriage from my husband because he thinks the Bible doesn’t say anything about supporting your wife and of course lustful thinking of other women constantly even admitting to it it’s not grounds. I’ve had to get three jobs just to be able to support myself and my children because he chooses not to support us even while living together. He’s very active at church and has made very many friends and I feel very intimidated by it. I am filing for divorce and feel peace but this was confirmation to me that my financial and verbally abusive womanizing husband is not what God wants for me.

[@leialee6820]

Yes, I agree. You cannot put everyone into one box, one category. As you say you have a wonderful marriage & that's great but so many others do not. To follow the laws, rules & regulations that so many Christians put on those who have not had the same upbringing, same suffering & lack total understanding would make many people feel guilty forever & not forgiven by God to start a new life on their own or later get married if they happen to meet the right person if God guides them to do so. It makes people feel that God can forgive any sin and allow you a new start/life except the sin of marrying the wrong person. We are all sinners in God's eyes & a loving God can forgive everyone who truly repents. Often the people that find themselves in the worst marriages are the most vulnerable, caring people who wanted to give & find love & were in most need of this but the very thing they expected & hoped would be there is totally lacking & absent.

[@blacksnow129]

Thank you for this videos it gives hope to woman like me who suffered to the point of considering suicide. I think that those (usually men and catholics) who are playing the self righteous card are hijacking and distorting Christ message of grace compassion and justice i hope they will be made accountable on the day of reckoning for condoning and encouraging abuse on the weak (mostly women and children) while using the name of the Lord and puffing themself up with pride claiming a knowledge they don't have worse claiming they know people inner intention. The holy spirit gives simple believers the understanding of God's words and because they are meek and sincere like little children they will meet Jesus. Amen God bless you David.

[@dh605x]

I'm glad this was well received. Like you, I've seen a lot of self-righteous puffery on the other side. You'll get these jerks who type in all-caps things like "GOD'S WORD IS VERY CLEAR: NO DIVORCE!!!!!" They are often wrong, but never in doubt. In some cases, such people have been found to be abusive themselves. Truly righteous people do not condemn the innocent, nor do they impose unjust restrictions on people. They do not malign the motives of people who are very reasonably making an unfortunate decision under less than ideal circumstances. The righteous care about justice for the vulnerable - the wicked couldn't care less.

[@Yuefoh]

Sometimes counselors can make things worse when dealing with verbal/emotional abuse.

[@maxfaubus3116HiddenChurch]

I think you’re right.

[@mariagrady2640]

I agree with you

[@mrsdhinds]

You mentioned physical abuse but what about the husband who has nearly all 9 traits of narcissistic personality disorder? What about the psychological trauma and mental abuse? This has been going on for more than 12 years of our 19 year marriage, do I have to stay in this marriage for the rest of my life? For more than a year now he has completely shut down,refused to even engage in conversations with me, we live like 2 complete strangers. Is this not alienation? If I divorce this man will I be judged? There’s so many conflicting opinions about what the Bible says. While I have absolutely no interest in marrying someone else right now, it’s so scary to even entertain the thought of another man when you’ve been beaten down by a cruel narcissist. I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life in this abusive marriage.

[@prabharavisundar4252]

Yes

[@mariagrady2640]

In my 30 years of experience with batter woven

[@mattmalone8087]

So if my wife divorced me because she was “not happy” but I found out through phone records she was talking a lot to a guy she worked with after she kicked me out (not sure if sex was involved). But she has now remarried and had a child so I am free to remarry??

[@fernandocanocano4546]

Yes, of course becouse she has commented adoltery. But if were you that first committed adoltery which cause the divorce you can't merried again.

[@jameshandley8887]

Brother

[@jameshandley8887]

Is it possible to marry the women who was tricked by her husband , after been divorced

[@jameshandley8887]

Her parents were the one who forced her to marry and they weren't knowing each other

[@jameshandley8887]

It's now reveled that he is having an extramarital affair , and he is trying to cheat her for money , and mentally she was tortured for nearly an year

[@shadowmist1246]

@@jameshandley8887 Trickery is a vague term that cannot be interpreted in context properly in a KZbin comment. If her husband had an extramarital affair, the oneness is gone which means they are no longer married in God's eyes. Therefore divorce(right to remarry) is the appropriate remedy and necessary.

[@DebbieBarrett-im3mh]

Spiritual adultery is a turning away from God's ways and turning to sin which is idolatry, abusive spouses are in essence committing spiritual adultery. God divorced Israel for spiritual adultery.... It's not a complete description of the situation but definitely valid

[@elizabethfraser2996]

There is a good book on this by Jay Adams.

[@ritaadu-bobie]

Abandonment Going AWOL Not paying bills Not providing for the family Not helping to raise the children Then what is the point? No substance over legal form

[@JW52654]

The stigmatism associated with divorce in Christendom is terrible and abusive, at least it was when I was in Bible School in 1980-1982. Because I was divorced at the time I entered Bible School, I was not allowed to have any female friends, but they tolerated some friendships. like if the girl was already a friend before I entered the school or if the girl was involved in a relationship with someone else. It was terrible, I felt marked. Needless to say I only went 2 yrs out of the 4 years that I was suppose to. My wife now of 23 yrs is a true blessing to me, I do struggle with pornography, and I make no excuses for it, but there are legitimate reasons why I struggle , and my bride knows all about it, needless to say she won't be sexually intimate with me going on 9 years, and I do understand. But she shows her love for me in other ways and I am so grateful to her.

[@dh605x]

I'm sorry you had to put up with that kind of thing. That kind of unjust stigmatization discredits the Church.

[@robertroberts9178]

1st Corinthians 7: 10-17 may be a good answer to; other than adultery.

[@arababecca6432]

Tnx a bunch

[@shadowmist1246]

The 2 interpretations for those verses are 1) divorce allowed and 2) let them leave and stay single. It is a far greater leap and stretch to get divorce from this. First, Paul would not be contradicting Jesus in Matthew 19:9 and second, you have to interpret Paul from the context of what marriage is as defined by Jesus in Matthew 19:5-6. Jesus does not and would not make a distinction here between saved vs unsaved as it pertains to what marriage is.

[@dh605x]

The case for allowing divorce and remarriage in the event of abandonment is quite strong. The problem with "separate, but don't divorce" is that mere separation in case of abandonment changes nothing, so how can that be a sufficient remedy for an abandoned spouse?

[@shadowmist1246]

@@dh605x Hi Daniel, actually separation does change something. It keeps the peace. Paul even says so in verse 15. Also...and perhaps you mis-spoke, but abandonment does not require divorce/remarriage as a remedy no matter what your view is on 1 Cor 7:10-16.

[@dh605x]

@@shadowmist1246 Actually, I maintain that separation in the case of physical abandonment would not be a viable remedy because a separation changes nothing. What does "separation" accomplish when a spouse has already elected to separate unilaterally from the marriage and the household? There are no arguments, disagreements, etc because the spouse is not around, so "keeping the peace" isn't a pressing issue. We have an abandoned spouse who has been defrauded and cannot divorce and remarry based on the "Marriage Permanence" doctrine (which is detestable and unbiblical). Where is the justice in that? I have a hard time interpreting 1 Cor 7:15 in any way other than to expressly allow an abandoned spouse to remarry. It is most consistent with God's character in other aspects of Scripture. It is for reasons such as this why He provided for divorce in the first place. It's not enough to say "life isn't fair". The presence of injustice inherent in our tragic condition is no excuse to impose unjust restrictions on victims of neglect, abuse, etc - including restrictions on remarrying. Anyone who might be inclined to dismiss this as a "fleshy argument" should refer to Proverbs 29:7 and rethink that assessment.

[@casseophealejarde-khaizen]

The Black Hebrew Israelites pushes the polygyny. I don't settle with this doctrine.

[@laidback1.0.1.2]

Adultery was never the reason to divorce, fornication alone was the only reason to divorce the woman, but now we are commanded to stay together unless we are married to a person who doesn't believe in Christ and his commanding us to stay together or reconcile back to each other. If the woman has committed fornication and the unbeliever wants to leave, then we are advised to let the leave (Leviticus 20:10 KJV) And the man that committeth adultery with another man’s wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

[@maraiavavaitamana1780]

Isnt Divorce a sin

[@dh605x]

No. There is no scripture that reads "Thou Shalt Not Divorce" or anything else to that effect. Some point to Malachi 2:16 that supposedly reads "God Hates Divorce" as a supposed proof that divorce is a sin. That verse reads very different in ESV and NIV. And even if God did hate divorce, that still doesn't mean divorce is a sin. God may not be fond of divorce, nuclear warheads, execution chambers, prisons, sewers, or the city dump. But does that mean it's a sin to have these things?

[@dh605x]

@endtimesareuponus8930 With all due respect, says who? And where? And in what context?

[@laidback1.0.1.2]

Stick to scriptures instead of Jewish fables and you will be alright

[@shadowmist1246]

David, you are having trouble with the topic. It's really not very complicated. Divorce (right to remarry) is the remedy for adultery. Separation (stay single) is the remedy for any other problem. In order to understand Jesus words in Matthew 19:9, you have to understand Jesus words in Matthew 19:5-6 when he defined marriage as two becoming one. Adultery effectively severs the oneness that was which is why divorce is allowed (adultery is as good as "no longer married"). You are trying to teach a topic that you really have no clue about from God's perspective.

[@blacksnow129]

David has explained all this you have not been watching but jump on the bandwagon to place your narrow interpretation which denies our Lord's grace compassion and justice.

[@shadowmist1246]

@@blacksnow129 I did watch and I have interpreted correctly. We must make sure that it is not the flesh that interprets the scriptures. It is the Holy Spirit that teaches.

[@JW52654]

@@shadowmist1246 So you are the only one who can hear from the Holy Ghost, haha smh.

[@shadowmist1246]

@@JW52654 You said that. I didn't. Nor did I even imply that.

[@JW52654]

@@shadowmist1246 Well it seemed like it to me, my apologies.

[@philipbuckley759]

it is not adultery, but fornication....and no...abuse is not a Biblical reason....one could separate, but remain single, or reconcile....

[@shadowmist1246]

You are mincing words to no avail. The principle is that when the two who have become one --- are no longer one when someone becomes physically one with a third person. They are no longer married in God's eyes. Notice that Jesus gave a reason for divorce in Matthew 19:9 which is directly related to a broken oneness right after he defined oneness in Matthew 19:5-6.

[@dh605x]

Where is the biblical support for separation as opposed to divorce? In the OT, a man could not send a wife away without a certificate. The point of the certificate was to allow her to remarry.

[@shadowmist1246]

@@dh605x The biblical grounds for separation may be the creation of man to naturally withdraw their hand from a flame. Also, Paul does discuss separation in the context of mutual consent (1 Cor 7:5) or to keep the peace (1 Cor 7:15).

[@dh605x]

@@shadowmist1246 The kind of separation that Paul was addressing was a very different thing than simply withdrawing unilaterally. The former is by mutual consent and would be feasible in cases of conflicts that don't rise to the level of abusive. The latter is a unilateral withdrawal which for legal reasons is a woefully inadequate substitute for divorce.

[@dh605x]

Why would abuse not be a biblical reason? That makes no moral or logical sense. Abuse was not explicitly mentioned as a just ground for divorce by Jesus in the NT, but that doesn't mean it isn't one.

[@am1089]

So why can’t we have 4 wives and still make to heaven