Is Having An Open Marriage A Good Idea? (Pros VS Cons)

[@42BETWO]

Open marriage is a contradiction.

[@corysmith3447]

How ? humans are pair bonding and not monomgous most want side affairs with one main partner

[@thomasjust2663]

There was significant wife swapping in the phone company my father worked for, it seemed to foster a lot of divorces

[@kenofken9458]

I never realized it was a particular thing in the phone industry. In some historical accounts of modern swinging, it got its start among World War II pilots who tended to have short lifespans and so survivors would take on the wives or girlfriends of their fallen buddies.

[@howardjohnson2138]

I've been married to my wife for 50+ years and not only have I not tired of her, but think about things I wish we'da done a LONG time ago.

[@GREGHIGGS1]

That's called life.

[@corysmith3447]

@@GREGHIGGS1 Divcorve, cheating, abuse is life

[@Gentilejedi]

Back in the 70s, my parents had a group of friends (married couples) that had a foursome. Two of them started meeting privately guy/girl and started having an affair. The one guy, friend of my parents, he came over the house, crying that he made the biggest mistake of his life, they managed to work out their marriage and stay together. But it did a lot of damage. My mother told me this several years ago.

[@deborahrouse5644]

If a marriage is "open" then IT IS NOT A TRUE MARRIAGE.

[@kenofken9458]

A true marriage is whatever two people decide it is.

[@deborahrouse5644]

No it isn't. Over time people have skewed the meaning of what marriage is, and your explanation is no exception.

[@kenofken9458]

@@deborahrouse5644 If it isn't your own marriage, you get no say in what it is.

[@deborahrouse5644]

@@kenofken9458 I won't debate you........

[@kenofken9458]

@@deborahrouse5644 Nor would I expect you to. The dogmas of social conservatives can not withstand the rigors of debate, and so they are never put forward in any forum where they might be challenged. The only "power" in such ideas lies not in their ability to persuade on merits, but in situations where they can be yelled at people unilateral monologues or forced upon them by government power.

[@barryc9115]

If your partner ever approaches you and even mentions opening the relationship, break up with them immediately, and if you’re married, file for a divorce immediately! 100% they are already cheating on you. If they aren’t physically cheating yet, they have been emotionally cheating and already have someone lined up….100% of the time! Just save yourself the emotional damage. They don’t love you, accept that reality and get out asap.

[@nexusSix_237]

That's true

[@LunaticEye]

@@barryc9115 Or maybe you act like a secure adult and take interest in the ideas and needs of your partner, try to understand their motivation and try to consider what's your responsibility for that development. Or you run away.

[@browneye3x7]

@@LunaticEye B.S. He or she is 100 percent right. If someone tells you that you're not enough for them, move on!

[@LunaticEye]

@@browneye3x7 If someone asks you about an open relationship and YOU feel that this means, you're not enough, than that is YOUR problem because YOU feel you're not enough. The other one is only asking about am open relationship, nothing more. If you feel it's against you, that's a sign of low self esteem

[@browneye3x7]

@@LunaticEye I disagree. I think it's the highest form of self-esteem. That I love myself and respect myself enough not to put myself through that. If someone is happy with you there is no need for bringing anyone else into a relationship.

[@mikefawcett1982]

This video is spot on. Resonates completely, I need some help in navigating this conversation with my wife, as she wants it but I don't. 25 years together.

[@MarriageHelper]

That's a great question @mikefawcett1982! For specific questions like this, you may want to consider giving us a call directly. We can help guide you to the best resources that can help turn your marriage situation around and answer specific things like this. You can call us directly at 1 866 903 0990, or schedule a call directly by following this link! marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/

[@johnengelbrechtnyjets]

Divorce her immediately

[@malingawoo]

She has already cheated on U or has at least lined up someone to replace u

[@THunt-ss4hy]

Drop her. Seriously that’s a straight up red flag

You shouldn't through a statement like "we are designed by nature to be committed" as if it is the absolute truth.

[@xwritersobx3238]

Getting a divorce currently from trying this

[@JaredVonJared]

I'm so sorry to hear this, friend

[@anonymoususer4866]

Ive heard of people splitting because they tried this in their marriage. I think if someones going to have an open relationship or be swingers their future marriages can only be successful if thats the precedent that was set from the very beginning of the relationship otherwise feelings will be hurt.

[@kenofken9458]

@@anonymoususer4866 A lot of the time when I hear about cases where it split up a marriage, it turns out the split was already 90% complete when they went into the open arrangement. If you open your marriage in an attempt to save it after unresolved cheating or other deep and longstanding issues, it will fail. Always. That's not something inherent to open marriage.

[@sarahalderman3126]

@@kenofken9458 precisely only you left out the fact that there simply is no other reason to enter into such activity.

[@kenofken9458]

@@sarahalderman3126 There are many other reasons and far better ones.

[@Hen-of-the-Month]

Thank you both for making such excellent content widely accessible! I've been watching your channel since I was engaged, and my husband and I recently celebrated three years of marriage. I go back to your content time and time again to help me reflect and re-enter myself within my relationship.

[@EbbieBailey]

I feel like my husband is about to ruin not just our marriage but our entire family with his “need” for an open marriage. I don’t know what to do.

[@kenofken9458]

I'm in one myself and happy, but clearly it's not for everyone. The choices are really two: Go along with it, which you do not seem inclined toward, or there will be a parting of ways (assuming he cannot be persuaded to leave off the idea).

[@EbbieBailey]

@@kenofken9458 thank you for your response. I feel like even if I go along with it I’ll be unhappy, I’m sick of the idea of it alone. It seems like either way it’ll have the same result, losing my family.

[@browneye3x7]

@@EbbieBailey if this is true, then you should leave him. No man that truly loves his woman would share her. We are not wired that way. For most men who suggests this to their woman, it's simply to keep his kids and protect his assets.

[@firsttbone]

Relationships are changing because people aren't being forced or shamed into staying in toxic and abusive relationships!!

[@psychic644]

This is an excellent video ! I 100% agree that open marriages are a no win situation. There isn't anything in-between. As a spiritualist, I see it at more the level of consciousness people are at. In many cases, they don't choose the right partner to begin with. Those who choose to evolve release bad marriages. They allow that cycle of their lives to end. In doing so, they grow spiritually. In time, they open to real love at a soul level. I see it as a much healthier way to live.

[@felicitygrace5113]

Thank you. This is what I have believed for some time and felt inside of me like an inner voice. I have been on the journey of releasing and alechemising a past relationship and truly feeling the gradual spiritual shift and change in me.

[@psychic644]

@@felicitygrace5113 Releasing is the most empowering thing we can do. It's the key to attaining genuine self-esteem! It wasn't easy for me, but I found was well worth it! Wishing you many blessings on your spiritual path!

[@loveapureheart]

As a spiritualist what do you think is the key to me getting a partner I can start a family with? I been depressed, anxious and struggling lately. I just want stability

[@psychic644]

@@loveapureheart First and foremost is your relationship with God. Knowing your spiritual beliefs at a soul level for real. Being secure within yourself is a reflection of that Divine connection. This is how you create real stability within yourself. It is through your faith and trust in God. When you can do this you will attain peace within. You won't be anxious and depressed over not having a partner. If you can do this, you will naturally connect with the right partner in God's time frame. Sending you many blessings and much love!

[@Jan-hu1hk]

Monogamy has at least 50% divorce rate as well so its 50/50 either way, just life your life

[@loveapureheart]

Depends on the culture actually

[@Jan-hu1hk]

@@loveapureheart true but to say that monogamy is the only way that works isnt really true because monogamy cna come with many difficulties/problems as well. i think its best to just be open to how u feel with ur partner and be open minded and see what works out best for the two of u.

[@gordonbecker1456]

I would take 50% over 98% any day

[@BryonG9]

@@gordonbecker1456…it’s not 98%… where are you getting that from? Because that’s not true.

[@barryc9115]

@@BryonG9 It is if they were opened later. If they started open they fail at about a 94% rate. Google is your friend. The stats are atrocious concerning open relationships.

[@johnheart6890]

Short answer: No way..look at poor Will smith and his crazy wife- so much pain that it spills out uncontrollably onto others- no good.

[@LunaticEye]

Maybe you have that idea because you have NO information about the private life, their motivation, their emotions, wishes and so on. And you try to judge other people's relationship without any insights. Ask Google about "confirmation bias".

[@kenofken9458]

Open marriage has worked for me for a long time. I wouldn't have it any other way. If a therapist says they won't help someone if they won't give up "the lifestyle", that's an admission of their ignorance, not some inherent flaw in the arrangement. It's not for everyone, but for some of us it's the right way to live.

[@deborahrouse5644]

It's NEVER the "right way to live". If a marriage is "open" then IT IS NOT A TRUE MARRIAGE.

[@christianmagno984]

@@deborahrouse5644 spot on!

[@dustinevans2223]

It’s like going to drug rehab and telling them you don’t want to stop using. How can they help you if you don’t admit that it is the problem?

[@barryc9115]

It WILL fail…. Give it time. But it does have a 6% success rate.

[@kenofken9458]

@@barryc9115 A 6% success rate is only a problem if you're among the 94%. I've been a six percenter for far longer than most people's traditional marriages I've known have lasted.

[@gc2161]

Being single is better. That way you can help married couples through their journey of discovery.

[@browneye3x7]

@@gc2161 lol! I couldn't say that better myself.

[@MarinaM-o6p]

THIS WILL BE “ GOOD” FOR THE MAN THAT HIS CHEATING BEHAVIORS ARE NOT HIDDEN ANYMORE BUT THE WIFE ALWAYS RESENTS , ALWAYS EVEN THOUGH SHE SAIS SHE IS OK WITH IT .

[@AguilaBlanca-n6j]

I send this to my wife ans she said it feels depressing

[@randystaller2366]

No, it gives the wife a cover for the cheating she's already doing. Eases her conscience, nothing more.

[@piyushtripathi-r4q]

Thank You!! Love from INDIA

[@JA-jm8bk]

If monogamy is for procreation, then what's the logical thing to do after the kids reach 18?

[@pinkahboo925]

All these things happens in "monogamous" (which no man does ever) so it's not worse to be open

[@MarriageHelper]

Hey @pinkahboo925, thank you for your comment. However, we disagree. We believe there is ALWAYS hope for a marriage no matter what. If you have had a bad experience in the past that has caused you to feel this way, we understand wholeheartedly. But there is always hope. If you change your mind and decide you would like to seek help for your marriage, we would love to talk to you and will always remain a safe place for you. You can call us directly at 1 866 903 0990 if you'd like to chat. Blessings,

[@pinkahboo925]

@@MarriageHelper I can't afford you guys but thanks

[@MarriageHelper]

Hey @pinkahboo925, Just out of curiosity, have you taken advantage of our free mini course? We know times are tough and want to provide as much as we can to you free of charge. That's why we created this free mini course. It will teach you how to get your spouse back and give you a plan moving forward! There's so much to learn! You can get access to it directly by following this link: bit.ly/3FAr9Vg

[@pinkahboo925]

@Marriage Helper yes I've done it, it's what helped me land where I'm at. It will always be hard times for me as I can't work the money is all his

[@williamsummerville1295]

“Nature” in the western world… I would invite further clarification on marriage being identified between a man and a woman. Along with assuming marriage means monogamy. I have shared one of your videos (not this one) with a committed non-monogamous same gender loving couple and they have found marriage helper to serve as a great guide. I am their pastor. Clearly, you all have a niche for an unconventional audience.

[@RandyBaumery-s4i]

I do not think so.

[@jessejames88]

It's animalistic and wrong -- enough said. Any "Christian" who continues in this way is not Christian at all. God bless.

[@jesusalconero8447]

Un matrimonio abierto no tiene sentido y no tiene futuro, para no ser fiel, es mejor no tener pareja y estar a la caza de sexo exporadico, lo que también acaba siendo deprimente y agotador, no se puede querer tener todo en la vida, porque se acaba no teniendo nada.

[@NS-ur5ss]

Not sure where your getting your facts from regarding dopamine. The following example states the direct link between action and causation and not the anticipation as you claim. "Just as drugs produce intense euphoria, they also produce much larger surges of dopamine, powerfully reinforcing the connection between consumption of the drug..." - National Institute Of Health.

[@mustard4428]

This wasn't very helpful. I know what society generally thinks and that monogamy is the default. All of these pitfalls seem intuitive and not worth mentioning.

[@dieselmonster]

Absolute mistake - dont do it...

[@gordonbecker1456]

Hookup culture has destroyed the relationship between men and women

[@sarahalderman3126]

I mean this is what all men want.

[@randystaller2366]

Don't know where you heard that, but it's definitely wrong. Men want fidelity.

[@MarriageHelper]

Hey Sarah Alderman, thank you for your comment. However, we disagree. We believe there is ALWAYS hope for a marriage no matter what. If you have had a bad experience in the past that has caused you to feel this way, we understand wholeheartedly. But there is always hope. If you change your mind and decide you would like to seek help for your marriage, we would love to talk to you and will always remain a safe place for you. You can call us directly at 1 866 903 0990 if you'd like to chat. Blessings,

[@THunt-ss4hy]

No… it’s not

[@Iván17valdivia]

Personal me i don't think so, i love my wife and to me love is loyalty, transparency, respect, and all the good things you can imagine that is good for my marriage.. If a married is doing well what to full with that and if you marriage is on fire wy to add more fire,,, all the people is doing this no matter how good you Explain thay going to tell you the opposite because thay just want to get away wit it thay will defend all this until is to late.

[@gregorylatta8159]

Feminism!!!

[@gordonbecker1456]

Open relationships have a 98% failure rate. So I would definitely say no

[@gordonbecker1456]

The delusion and pure selfishness it must take to bring up an open relationship with your partner

[@LunaticEye]

I don't think so. If your partner opens up to You with that idea it could be a sign, that your relationship is so deep and full of trust, that he feels secure enough to share this thought with you (most people are not courageous enough for that and start cheating behind your back). It could be also a sign that something in your relationship is NOT okay. Than it's a great possibility to work on fixing it. Because one thing in my option is for sure: opening your relationship can NOT fix relationship problems. It will make them worse. You can only live and enjoy open marriages if your relationship is stable and secure. Either way it's in my opinion an GOOD sign if your partner talks about opening. It's a chance to make your relationship deeper and better.

[@gordonbecker1456]

This is why cuckolding is by far one of the most confusing and heart breaking things ever. The husband's must feel like the most worthless thing ever

[@LunaticEye]

The thing is: if the husband feels worthless it's not because of the open relationship it's because of the fact that open relationships tend to drag all your already existing insecurities into the daylight and you get the chance to work on them. Most people are too afraid of that and then start to blame their partners or the relationship for that. But that's a dead end for development

[@amosrotimi1]

@@LunaticEyeyeah it’s totally not another man screwing his wife.