Is It Biblical to Spank Your Child? | Tony & Bre Wood

It's becoming so hard to find biblical counseling on if and how to spank children. In this video, Tony and Bre Wood share the four clear commands Scripture gives to parents to bring clarity on God's design for loving discipline in the home.
For more on biblical discipline, listen to Date Night with the Woods season 1 episode 21 "Spanking, Training, and Biblical Discipline" at forthegospel.org/listen/spanking-training-and-biblical-discipline or on your favorite podcast platform.
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[@ThomasSmith-z5q]

Honestly, this book ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’ gave me the encouragement I needed to stay strong in raising my kids with Christian values, it’s comforting to know Im not alone on this journey

[@heidilees.4407]

Not spanking does not have to = a lack of consistent discipline with boundaries. I did not spank but I did have immediate and consistent consequences. Our sons grew up to be respectful, thoughtful, responsible, well mannered, good husbands and fathers. They are all in their 40’s now raising children of their own.

[@ladaleswaim9794]

Exactly because there are other ways to discipline your children🙂

[@TruthEvangelism]

Are they brothers in Christ?

[@davidaltizer]

what are some examples of immediate consistent consequences?

[@diamond_p]

Can you give some examples for toddlers?

[@mei.mei1]

​@@diamond_phow about you give an example of a behaviour you would like to stop, and I give you an example that does not use spanking to get the desired outcome?

[@BeccaMiller-uk8qg]

Scripture also commands the parent to not frustrate the child and if spanking is causing the child to become frustrated and bitter it therefore becomes a stumbling block to the child is now a sin to commit against the child. Ephesians 6:4

[@blackperson5283]

With that logic then dont punish you child because they're become frustrated and bitter.

[@lylemoors4194]

Proverbs 23:13-17, Proverbs 13:24 I don't 'condone' or have thoughts about it. Just a bible reference for you to see. We had a radio program on the subject a few weeks ago. There was a lot of feedback from listeners. The programmers tried to remain impartial and let listeners give their opinions. Interesting topic. GB

[@imjustheresoidontgetfined5269]

Thanks yall for being honest, holding the line, on such a serious topic ✝️

[@crzyplaya]

Will spanking a kid for being curious about the electrical socket correct the curiosity? Kids are learning all the time. Corporal punishment can cause kids to anger or fight back. Here is an alternative to corporal punishment. Acknowledge the feeling or desire of the child. Communicate the limit, and target an alternative, something positive to do. I grew up being spanked😢. It didn’t help with limiting desires or feelings. Instead it pushed me to shutdown my emotions. Now that I am a parent, I have not spanked. I’ve adopted the 3 principles and my kiddos are respectful and obedient. Just like any child or adult, we do fail, but instruction and nurture goes long ways! God is our shepherd. When we go astray he doesn’t use corporal punishment. Instead he uses his staff to gently bring us back to the flock. Ps 23.

[@krixpop]

I was Spanked 3 times as a child. (that I remember) Last when I stole an apple from the market. My ww2 veteran Grandfather, went with me back to where I stole that apple. Paid the Apple. And then home gave 5 hard slashes with his belt on my behind. And then he cried with me and cared for my "wound" and made sure I understood what and why. And with my behind red as an oven and with his words in my heart, I learned. I was 10. I lost him 40 years ago and miss him a lot... ... I found a wallet a while ago. With 2 credit cards and some 1000 €. I went to the Police and made sure the owner received his lost wallet intact. I refused all rewards. Possible I won a person for God?

[@Peonies925]

🎯💯

[@TrevonFoxxx]

@@krixpopsorry your grandpa was weird for that and you definitely should’ve kept the reward that’s dumb, just cuz you can rationalize your abuse doesn’t mean anyone should suffer under such a barbaric and ruthless form of physical punishment

[@josephselfmade1]

1 Spanking is all it took me to LEARN not to play with the electrical socket 🎯🧐...something gotta be literally mentally wrong with you to not learn from a spanking, Y'all must love the pain from the socket or just don't value your lives 🎯

[@entropicmomathome]

I got spanked at 14 for getting low grades. My parents were working super hard to put me in a private school and give me better opportunities which o was throwing do own the drain, I didn’t care. The lack of honor, respect and appreciation towards my parents efforts was shameful, they spoke to me patiently and with sadness in their faces and I still didn’t care. Until my mom saw my report cards, grabbed a belt, cancelled tv and grounded me until I got straight A’s. It worked. I never felt anger towards my parents as a matter of fact I wish they spanked me more. Read scripture, there are many more verses that talk about spanking and no it doesn’t mean shepherd with a staff, it means beating on the loins or the behind. Abuse is always wrong but it doesn’t mean Gods commandments are abusive , that is sin. It’s like saying I won’t submit to my husband because men can be abusive. Obey the scriptures.

[@travisvanvelze8765]

I was a bad kid and i was spanked for it. I am grateful for it because a built a sense of respect for my parents. At the time i resented it but after a while of thought I understood why i was spanked and I didn’t do it again. Kids are not perfect little creatures that poop rainbows. They are sinful and that sin needs to be knippend in the bud immediately before it can grow to be ugly. I actually wish i was spanked more for some of the things i did.

[@jimmybishop9816]

What a joke. You don’t hit children. It is ridiculous. “I deserve a spanking” is your attitude. Sickening

[@urbansaints]

please please have more on such sharing especially for parents. This is great!

[@uglypie670]

Thank you for always sharing your personal experiences and explaining the scriptures. It truly is a blessing to listen to biblical teachings

[@lindsaysimplified]

If you’re going to argue that this is a command and must be taken literally then it has to be a rod (not a hand or spoon) and it has to be applied to the back (not the buttocks) and should leave bruises. If you went “literally” you’d be thrown in jail for child abuse. If it’s not literal then you could make the argument that discipline is mandatory, but modern spanking is not. Because the Bible doesn’t talk about or address modern day spanking. It should also be advocated for adults because proverbs also says to use the rod on foolish adults. This argument is so biblically weak and eisegeted from scripture to justify modern day spanking.

[@ladaleswaim9794]

You people know that there are other ways to discipline your children? And spanking isn't always necessary right when I was spanked it didn't help me at all it only made me angry my attitude during those times was like "oh,so you wanna fight do you?!" and I would fight back in self defense ,I'll have you know I hated my father's guts and did not trust him all that much at all and that's why if I ever become a mother I will not spank and I will not allow my husband to spank either because even the mere thought of it drives me crazy and it is a serious major trigger on me plus not all discipline is physically painful it can also be emotionally painful take it me a woman who was diagnosed with minor depression, whose been on and is still on medication and whose been and is still talking to a psychologist who is a good Christian woman who has really helped me out a lot. Also each and every child is different and not all types of children require spanking some you can just sit down and talk to my aunt Gina she's never been spanked in her life she was an easy-going child who would listen as for the word discipline itself there is a meaning of it I've looked it up and to discipline does not mean to spank to discipline actually means to teach and to tell the truth using your words can work just as well and maybe try giving your children bible lessons by reading to them directly from the Bible these methods of discipline can work just as well if your willing to really be patient and work at it. I'm a Christian myself 🙂

[@roublerattv3793]

Every child needs to understand there are consequences to their actions so they might be spared from the wrath of God one day

[@LadyLiberty-c8i]

⁠@@roublerattv3793But Spanking doesn’t have to be the only consequence for misbehavior.

[@roublerattv3793]

@@LadyLiberty-c8i God says in Proverbs 23:13-14 : Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You shall strike him with the rod And rescue his soul from Sheol. If you raise Godless heathens then God will surely punish you. Sure have other disciplines or whatever but when it comes down to it every kid needs a spanking at some point.

[@mei.mei1]

​@@roublerattv3793and how does spanking directly correlate to any consequence to a child trying to learn? If you're in the workplace learning a new skill, how helpful is it that an adult man or woman spanked you so that you "get it right" next time? Or if you're trying to learn a new language or skill? That person will be charged with assault, so where in the real world is it beneficial for a child, who cannot defend themselves against an adult, to learn that if they or someone else messes up, hitting and violence will fix the problem? Children have developing brains and are developing skills such as self-control and language (sometimes they cry and whine bc they don't have the verbal capacity for expression). "Hitting" to solve a problem rarely works in the real world. Just admit that you have limited skills to rear children and learn better skills.

[@roublerattv3793]

@@mei.mei1 haha spanking your kids does not teach them to use violence against other people, it shows them that they shouldn't be doing whatever they were doing and teaches them to be responsible for their own actions. Parent your kid however you want. I'm going to raise my kids how my parents raised me 🤷‍♂️

[@1963wheeler]

Discipline does NOT equal physical abuse. A firm flat hand on the butt 2-3 times swatted does NOT equal abuse. 250 pounds standing on the chest of a 10 year old boy in an empty bath tub IS ABUSE! THERE IS A DIFFERENCE! I NEVER KNEW WHAT A 'SWAT' FELT LIKE.

[@teslaeubanks8198]

There are different levels of abuse with spanking being one of them. Sure it may not physically harm the child long term but mentally it will

[@askfortheoldpaths]

Amen!

[@kesley.]

yes. my parents spanked me, not beat me. and my dad would calmly explain to me why it was necessary. i remember one time the smack I received didn’t hurt at all so i asked him for another one because “the first one didn’t sting” 😂

[@1963wheeler]

@@kesley. I hope and pray. You still have a wonderful relationship with your father. Who loved you enough to teach you? How to obey and how to behave as a kind human being! God bless your daddy.

[@jeppe.ejsing.christensen]

And grapping a womans ass without permission is not rape, but it is still not okay.

[@derrickminion9874]

Don't beat your kids!!!!!!!

[@mollysmith624]

Spanking is not beating.

[@elibonham4388]

​@@mollysmith624yes it is

[@mei.mei1]

​@@mollysmith624 if an adult man or woman spanked you for messing up in any setting while you are learning something, professional or recreational, they'll receive an assault charge. Why do you think it's more acceptable to hit a child when a child is learning new skills and the brain is still developing, who is unable to defend themselves against an adult, and cannot differentiate between spanking, beating, or hitting?

[@coachkevan2016]

@@elibonham4388spanking is not beating.

[@coachkevan2016]

@@mei.mei1a spanking is not beating.

[@danielrowell]

Thank you both for holding the line on this. So hard to find anyone sticking to the biblical instructions for parenting-especially among modern Christians. Spanking is a very good thing.

[@Peonies925]

It isnt. There are SOOO many more ways to discipline than hitting someone.

[@danielrowell]

@@Peonies925 it’s not hitting. That’s a ridiculous assertion and it’s not biblical. Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. -Prov13:24 To pride yourself on not spanking your child is, biblically speaking, a hateful thing to do. What’s worse is you then assert moral authority as if it’s such a virtuous endeavor to avoid spanking. I will stick to scripture.

[@Peonies925]

@@danielrowell I WILL STICK WITH SCRIPTURE TOO! The Fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, GENTLENESS, faithfulness and self control. GALATIANS 5:22-23. You cant spank someone gently. Spanking is not of the Holy Spirit. There are 100s of ways to discipline without spanking.

[@danielrowell]

@@Peonies925 All those caps, virtually trying to scream at me, is the opposite of self control. If it’s that easy for you to fly off the handle then someone like you probably shouldn’t be spanking. You and I both know that gentleness in that context isn’t referring to discipline, but an overall attitude. Yes we should be gentle and tender hearted, but we are also called to be diligent in discipline. Spankings should be thoroughly thought through and never an emotional reaction. It is well within the bounds of the fruit of the Spirit.

[@vision9676]

@@Peonies925 OK so let’s say 100 ways don’t work what are you going to do now because you cannot guarantee your way is going to always work when it comes to discipline because honestly it doesn’t

[@yesorno1768]

Some people apparently think that if you agree with spanking, you want the child to be abused. 🤦‍♀️

[@askfortheoldpaths]

Awesome video! 👍 I really appreciate your practical advice based on the Scriptures. What's your opinion on whether the bottom should be bare with spanking?

[@cheyenne5375]

I Haven’t had a reason to hit my kid yet. Usually misbehaving is either lack of regulation, struggling with relationships, or a misunderstanding. Honestly I’m disappointed and think this is a lack of knowledge of the child brain and developmental milestones.

[@cheyenne5375]

I know! Thank the Lord for the intuitive mothers out here who are parenting the whole brained child not just reacting in the moment.

[@BibleStudywithVernon]

Very biblical and insightful

[@KingofkingsChristJesus]

Please do not hit your children it is unholy.

[@KingofkingsChristJesus]

“Thy rod and they staff they comfort me” Jesus is a God of peace we are told that one of the fruits of the spirit is gentleness - you can not gently beat a child. The rod in the Old Testament was known as knowledge passed down from king to heir, not a literal beating. If you withhold teaching (discipline) from a child you are withholding the rod of knowledge hence forcing them to live in sin without consequence. Also keep in mind that Jesus says do unto others; if you teach with pain you will be taught with pain.

[@jimmybishop9816]

Having children is unholy.

[@kvelez]

Great response.

[@raelenekelly8306]

The intro to this 😭😭😭😭😭❤️

[@Sportsfan18]

Wonderful👏🏻

[@flimsyjimnz]

Appalling how many naively call spanking abuse. Saying spanking should be banned because its abuse is like saying the Boy Scout Movement should be banned because it's the same as the Hitler Youth Movement.

[@spiritman-em4qr]

Amen.

[@goddessdes]

Thank you !!

[@kevinvidal1243]

Such a good video!

[@JBM101]

may as well cut the hand offf as well since its in the bible. "A firm flat hand on the butt 2-3 times swatted does NOT equal abuse." Sure how hard? whats firm? ... when is it firm enough, when is it not firm enough? Try that with an employee you get charged but its fine when its your own child ... anyone in new testament encourage this?

[@dontedriskell]

Know the difference between old covenantal law and Biblical Wisdom throughout all of scripture for Godly living. Discipline is commanded by God not to punish but ultimately to restore in the Home and in the Church.

[@Xelenteontae_]

Listen man, cutting of your hand means cutting off anything that causes sin.

[@mei.mei1]

​@@Xelenteontae_sure, and a rod in the Bible meant a sceptre of authority and as a shepherding tool used to guide, pull sheep out of holes/trouble, and to defend sheep from wolves, bears, and other predators. Never was the rod used by a king to strike subjects or by a shepherd to strike sheep.

[@travisvanvelze8765]

@@mei.mei1the rod is described as by disciplining a child. Sometimes it is needed to show a child the consequences of his/her actions. This doesn’t involve bruising or abusing the child. It must be firm so that a child understands that it is for correction. In the same breath we must lift our children and cherish them for the things they do right so they understand what sin is and can set boundaries based on the bible between what is wrong and what is right. I am grateful to have been spanked as I built a respectable relationship with my parents when I finally understood what they meant when they said that my actions were wrong. And i saw that they did it for my best interest.

[@lwearj0rts]

Only Freud, what about Marx, Lenin, Kinsey and even a “Christian” in Dobson?

[@BeautifulQueen9112]

My parents beaten me

[@captainfalconmain6576]

a shame

[@AlphaStudios-lh1rz]

For what reason?

[@gjm2669]

The number of swats according to his sin? What? You just made that up. Give me one scripture that says to swat them a certain amount of time according to their sin? The rod in the scriptures is referring to a shepherds rod to bring the sheep back in order not to hit your children. You can be a strong disciplining Godly father without swatting your children on the butt but there are many other ways to teach children and bring them up in the Lord.

[@vipkidteacher]

Oh my goodness, the wife looks so controlled, miserable, brainwashed and extremely emotionally manipulated and suppressed. Exudes no confidence or anything godly but she seems so oppressed. I discern they are in religious legalism and their beliefs are not biblical.

[@AlphaStudios-lh1rz]

How is spanking legalistic?

[@lylemoors4194]

And Look at how modern kids are now.

[@coachkevan2016]

That’s due to lack of spankings. This cowardly redirecting and gentle parenting doesn’t work.

[@AlphaStudios-lh1rz]

@@coachkevan2016Ditto

[@artluvr6170]

Before a parent hits a child in the name of an invisible and mythological god, the parent must first demonstrate that the invisible god actually exists. Otherwise it is a sick and perverted act.

[@jimmybishop9816]

This kind of stuff is sickening. What a sickening videos.

[@elkellenhabla]

Black Lives Matter to God. 🤷🏽‍♂️ White conservatives are strict capitalists in once the deck has been stacked in their favor through centuries of racism/discrimination. Anyway, now that I’m done with my ranting: this is a tricky topic because most adoption agencies don’t allow corporal punishment today.

[@elibonham4388]

Spare the rod spoil the child

[@captainfalconmain6576]

buddy don’t know what context is

[@IHateMySistar]

Haha so you’re saying there’s a way to gently spank them without it being abuse somehow even though spanking on a butt? Why the butt area so much?

[@carlacarolineofficial7657]

Because it is private. You are not supposed to hurt your child. The purpose is to make them somehow feel on their skin that what they did was wrong. The parent needs to explain why they are going to be punished and then pray with the child asking God for forgiveness. At the end, you should also forgive and comfort her. The thing is most of our parents did it the wrong way, children were usually a escape goat and were always punished for the wrong reasons at the wrong time and sometimes in a violent way. That's not how we're supposed to do. It's incredible how God spares our children from brutal violence, but He did not spare His own Son from that... All for us. ❤