Is It Normal For Your Boyfriend To Watch Porn? with Chelann Again

[@davidskelly3046]

porn destroyed my relationship so I totally 100% agree

[@GoldJacketLuke]

Sorry to hear. This is serious stuff. Wishing you healing and a future healthy relationship!

[@Beatriz-Ana-11]

Same here, I caught my husband when I was pregnant with my 1st son, and ever since then I just can’t feel much. It’s totally a life changer for me. I try to forget that incident, but it’s not possible. I find it to be deceit. I can only imagine where the relationship would have gone if I hadn’t been pregnant at the time, very different outcome…

[@maryjoygaspado5101]

@@Beatriz-Ana-11 same :

[@epicbehavior]

“Normal” isn’t something to aspire to.

[@helenarichard]

I am just accepting it, because all men watch porn. I don't know any who don't. My brother, my dad, my partner, all seem innocent men, but they all watch it, and know all the websites. And almost all men like younger women, why would they look at older if they can choose. I don't let it hurt me anymore simply because 1) I can't change a man, 2) all men watch porn, 3) I cannot compete with porn but I can still enjoy my own sexuality. As long as my bf does effort to give me children and makes love to me from time to time, I'mm happy. We had way too heated discussion that almost ruined our relationship and it is not worth it, I rather accept it then to dump him. I would only dump a man for actual cheating, contact with any of these women. That is where I draw the line. We had the discussion and we swore we were both loyal and would never cheat.

[@PhillDrakeEntertainment]

Porn and masturbation in this modern society is like the worst drug of all drugs out there. Your channel has some powerful insights on what porn and masturbation can cause spirituality and even physically. It affects everybody on some major or minor level but nobody stays immune to this poison those who think they're not affected as much, they're lying to themselves trying to avoid guilt and shame. Just one day my girl colleague told me that I'm shining and I never got that kind of a respond when I was fapping.

[@anubhav9532]

What day were you when you got the compliment?

[@PhillDrakeEntertainment]

@@anubhav9532 idk around 85 maybe still going though day 88 now

[@GoldJacketLuke]

I'm glad you're shining! :)

[@simdhaliwal4260]

You are spot on, man!! It's slowly taking everybody down!

[@simdhaliwal4260]

The only way to understand effect of porn is to understand the effect of drugs on your brain. Logically speaking there is no relationship between say, valium, and watching people have sex. Scientifically speaking, it's the exact same thing because both these things have the same effect on your brain. The woman in the video has no idea what she is talking about.

[@lenasauve3660]

It IS definitely CHEATING! Men who say otherwise are doing mental ghymnastics.

[@GoldJacketLuke]

Yep. 👍 It's insane how so many think it's ok to lust over other naked women.

[@cristalslife2726]

I love this, I just recently this morning had a re discussion with my bf and our porn and how I’m uneasy with him watching it and how it makes me feel insecure and if he wouldn’t like me to do it he shouldn’t is what we came down too

[@GoldJacketLuke]

Glad you had an open and honest conversation with your partner on this!

[@leommuller]

I listened to this episode back in early December when it was released, it was a great talk! I appreciate Chelann for having you for such an insightful chat!

[@GoldJacketLuke]

Awesome! Yes it was an honor to be invited on her podcast. I respect everyone who has the courage to shine light on this topic! I appreciate you commenting!

[@medoma1000]

I would not say cheating, but damaging yourself and the relationship, because you have less sexual lust and intensity for your partner Goes for men and women

[@BrothersAroundTheCampfire]

Aye! He's back in full force for the new year! Let's make our path through 2022! 💪 Glad to have people like you on our journey as well

[@cryptojihadi265]

Yes, it's normal for a boyfriend to watch it these days, but never confuse normal for healthy or good.

[@countfleet2976]

If you're not in control of your body, then you're not in ownership of you're body. Of you don't own your body, then you can't give your body. If you can't give your body, you can't make love, you can only take.

[@GoldJacketLuke]

Nicely said! Self-control gives us much more of a capacity to love.

[@Beast-iq2jz]

I've no money or friends to go outside,all day I live alone in my home I've no one to share anything, I'm pushing myself to make friends but near my house no girl and boy live only old age people live, I don't have money to go cafe to read book and make friends and all time I live alone in home,I always pray to god that plz help me cuz I don't getting any idea on my mind so can u pls tell me how to make nofap successful living in home

[@GoldJacketLuke]

Get a job? It will put you around other people, keep you busy, and money is important. All the best to you.

[@ArkansasGamer]

Such truth. Thank y'all 🙏

[@GoldJacketLuke]

Appreciate the comment!

[@Beast-iq2jz]

Hey I'm on nofap but my productivity didn't increasing why?I always want to read novel,want to do studies,want to read news but I don't able to, answer me

[@laviniasnow4494]

If I'd find my man watching porn I'd feel sad, but I wouldn't feel offended because a lot of guys that watch porn don't do it as a personal attack on their partners. I would however convey how that makes me feel and do my best to find out why he feels the need for it and help and support him on his journey of letting it go and strengthen the real relationship between us from a place of acceptance and love. That is because if I am in a relationship with that man it means I see good in him that is worth fighting for and expanding. I really think one of the main issues is that when women find out about guys watching porn take it personal and because they feel offended they attack their partners. This makes men hide that they are watching porn and in this way they cannot receive the help needed to let it go. A lot of teenagers turn to porn out of low self-esteem or because of frustrations they can't express and let go or because of stress they need to release, but aren't taught a healthy way of doing it. Also a lot of men that have the power of taking action against porn through laws have turned to porn themselves and restraining access to it would mean acknowledging that what they did wasn't healthy. How many men in places of power have you seen acknowledging that they were wrong unless they were forced to do it? 😟

[@GoldJacketLuke]

Great and wise thoughts! I appreciate you sharing Lavinia!

[@laviniasnow4494]

@@GoldJacketLuke ☺️

[@heikorudi6105]

well if the girls are like 'I have a headache tonight honey' every day, they shouldn't wonder

[@laviniasnow4494]

@@heikorudi6105 As I stated in my original comment communication and real love are the keys. At least from my perspective. Hope you find the right person to do this with. 🙂

[@paride244]

I'm so sad when i think about younger generations. Kids that have been watching porn since they were able to access an internet connection. They have been stolen of the sweet beautiful gift of exploring eachothers bodies and sexuality in a natural way. They have been filled up of bull s**t, just to make some entrepreneurs rich. ...And the brain it's hard to rewire. It's insane. I'm very grateful that people like you guys are talking about it🙏

[@GoldJacketLuke]

Yes, it is sad. Very lucidly said. The good news is that with work, people can heal, and experience healthy, loving, real intimacy! Also the trend is that more people are waking up. I appreciate your thoughtful comment. Thank you.

[@paride244]

@@GoldJacketLuke I appreciate your work Luke! You are a light in the darkness. Thanks brother 😊

[@user-hn9qg5qm3o]

@@GoldJacketLuke Luke I’m with you on this. I’m glad you’re still preaching this subject so strongly for so long.

[@GoldJacketLuke]

@@paride244 ​ @J Means a lot Paride and J!

[@medoma1000]

What if one partner wants more sex than the other partner can give? How to fulfill this unsatisfied need?

[@BrothersAroundTheCampfire]

I asked that question myself for a long time. That's where I am at. Do you eat a cookie whenever you feel like it? Or do you sometimes deal with that craving in a much healthier way for health and longevity's sake? There are many different ways and pr0n is certainly one of the least desirable ones

[@sado9961]

Just masturbate without porn then as people have throughout history, or find a partner more suitable for you if it’s really a big problem of incompatibility. You’re talking about ‘sex’ as if it is equivalent to masturbating to porn when the 2 things don’t even compare. Porn will never satisfy your needs and will just lead to a greater dissatisfaction than you originally had and lead to further porn usage, creating a cycle. Porn is never the solution to one partner wanting more sex, it would only make the situation worse if you get what I’m saying

[@BrothersAroundTheCampfire]

@@sado9961 very true

[@medoma1000]

@@sado9961 yeah that's why I said masturbate" without porn "

[@heikorudi6105]

carezza technique

[@sergio1662]

Nofap 90days puasa media sosial 90 hari!!

[@nobodysperfect06]

This of course is not for everyone and this will always be a controversial topic of discussion, there's always going to be tons of people out there against this but I believe paying for sex, having sex with an escort or sex worker is obviously much better than watching porn constantly.

[@Gerbengiorgio]

Such a great convo. Glad that women are waking up!

[@Askme-df3ib]

Is searching for female relationships addictive?

[@Beast-iq2jz]

What if someone has no resource to go outside or do anything?

[@Razear]

If a guy is stroking to it while watching it alone, then it's obvious that he's looking to fulfill a void in his love life, but what about couples that decide to watch it together? Do you think it spices things up in the bedroom?

[@cryptojihadi265]

No. It's destructive and degrading for both involved. It destroys real intimacy in the relationship and destroys your ability to be satisfied with your partner. Then, there's all the destruction it does to the brain. Images of brains hooked on porn look worse than those hooked on drugs.

[@leonidas2930]

The gold jacket is gone

[@GoldJacketLuke]

I will be back to regular uploads soon!

[@benjayk]

I appreciate you taking a critical look at all those issues, but I feel it is very one-sided. It doesn't seem you are questioning your own belief systems in that regard lately. I support everyone that makes a conscious decision against porn in their lives, but objectively it's not really a more profound decision than deciding against consuming alcohol, for example.

[@GoldJacketLuke]

I appreciate the comment, but I disagree with you. Someone could argue that alcohol if used responsibly, in small amounts, on rare occasions, can have some benefit to those that aren't addicts (social lubricant, relaxing someone, etc). Meanwhile, it can be argued that porn doesn't have any benefits whatsoever, only negatives. Porn can really impact our brains, creates lust, and really messes with the mind (conditions people to overly sexualize everything, never be satisfied, condition their sexuality to a screen, compare their partner to what they see in porn, etc). And IT IS a profound decision in a society where what, 90%+ of young men watch porn regularly. Everyone knows the dangers of alcohol, meanwhile most people are sheep regarding porn and don't even question it. I was actually one of the very first youtubers who made a video talking about the harms of porn in 2013!

[@benjayk]

​@@GoldJacketLukeWould you consider hardcore erotic art a distinct category from porn? It would seem odd to say that while everything can be art, sex cannot. However I would agree most porn is smut and I don't jerk off much to sexual imagery, because it seems hard to both jerk off to it and take a critical and contemplative stance. In my personal life, porn definitely had some negative effects, but for me personally the effects of society's shaming, guilt-inducing and hypocritical attitude towards sexual deviancy felt much much more pronounced as a negative force in my life. When I let go of judgement and be mindful of compulsive tendencies there are definitely positive effects of looking at images like that. A rather simple aspect is going from self-limiting "shoulds" and rules towards connecting to your desire and curiosity. Obviously it does not go very far in that, but it can open a door. Young boys are not curious about this stuff because they are innately rotten but because they see something there they want to connect to. It seems very natural, we just drive those impulses underground and create a rotten swamp one could call porn culture.