De-sexualizing My Brain Changed My Life

[@joshb7326]

I'm currently working on this right now. 1) I quit dating apps 2) I quit p*&n 3) I overhauled my social media feeds 4) I started learning guitar 5) I meditate 6) stop using technology before sleeping and going to sleep earlier and getting up earlier

[@MrBoxofplastic]

1&2, Me too, bro! Congratulations!

[@Anothervictim87]

I'm trying to get on this program

[@martijn2246]

good thing to try the guitar, gives you so much energy when you finally nail that song

[@guiiizenni]

God bless man, I'm taking a screenshot of your comment to inspire myself - it's the same path that I want to follow but lacking discipline, mostly by the minor things

[@dahliahardie]

I am proud of you

[@karimxbear]

If you're watching this, you're doing better than most people, a lot of people don't come face to face with their demons, and they'd rather hide it, but no, you're facing your demons, you're quitting what doesn't bring you happiness and fulfillment, and I wish you the best of luck.

[@Cultofthedarned]

My man 👊

[@Leon.moschee]

Thank u❤ this gave me encouragement

[@richardsummers6827]

I would almost call this re-sexualizing my brain. When we sexualize stress, rage, and anxiety, we actually distract ourselves from our REAL sexuality as I see it. We rob ourselves of the gift. If I frame it this way, I don't feel like I'm giving something up, but rather gaining something.

[@Valkron]

Well put, this is a much healthier framing of the issue

[@jamest3336]

wow this is so true...

[@SaintCashel]

Wonderfully put. I feel the same way. Our sexual instinct is a gift that gives us the energy and power to accomplish great feats, which result in pleasurable rewards, which are often ultimately sex. Take back your control and live for a better life ✊🏻

[@Barbiesmart]

Exactly, there is nothing wrong with sex itself. I feel like men just need to change there view on sex

[@Alex-ll4xm]

At first I didn’t understand what this comment meant, but upon rereading it it is very, very powerful. This is a great mental model

[@nickrulof]

I’m now at 33 days sober from s*xual content. 102 days with no nicotine. 105 days from marijuana. And 64 days sober from alcohol. If you’re reading this, I believe in you.

[@angelaonthego]

Much respect!

[@Synthanicmusic]

So awesome dude, respect! I quit nicotine 5 years ago, alcohol 3, and now porn and sexual content is the last to go, been a few weeks. Luckily never got into marijuana. I'm sure the lens of life has vastly broadened for you even in this short period of time. Never look back, rise above your old self and live a satisfying life :) Much love

[@WhiteLavender425]

Wondering how frequent your marijuana intake was? Did you find it difficult to quit cold turkey or was it a gradual wean off?

[@nickrulof]

@@WhiteLavender425 I was smoking all the time, any chance I could get. I started to gradually smoke less and less until I was only using a little gravity bong. My main way of quitting that was just by not buying anymore and cutting off access to the people I usually smoked with. And by not dilly dallying and relaxing in my car for longer than I should have been.

[@WhiteLavender425]

@@nickrulof I dont smoke too much, but it feels like if I don't go out after work or if my GF isn't home, I have a stable consistent high the entire night. Not blasted, I only use flower, but still high enough to feel it and be lazy af. I live in a legal state with dispensaries down the block so I struggle with the ease of access. Thanks for your answer btw!

[@tunkycool]

I didn't search for this but I'm glad I came across it. It's just what I need right now. Here's to all you men and women here, finding your way back into gaining control over yourself again. We got this!

[@jonathanmangum4347]

Danke für deine Komentar! Wir schafen das!

[@Inayah-jy8qb]

I am a female and I find these tips very useful for myself. Females struggle with hypersexuality as well, the only thing its kind of still a taboo to talk about.

[@lightdarklightdarklightdark]

i just realized ive never once heard this topic addressed with a female audience in mind wow

[@caitlinisaak]

Sadly for a lot of women the hypersexuality is the result of sexual abuse or mental illness. I obviously cannot speak for all but that is what happened to me and dealing with the shame of SA is hard enough without being shamed by so many people for my “body count.” I was in pain and not in control of myself. We can’t have honest conversations about it if people are going to further dehumanize us for being promiscuous.

[@adamkane7513]

​@@caitlinisaak 😅😂 Clown!

[@caitlinisaak]

@@adamkane7513 Correct, I am a clown for being molested by my father and having it fuck up my sex life

[@captainiceberg8637]

​@@adamkane7513Shut up. Most of the men watching this video would be highly promiscuous if we could have, early in life. Women can get sex more easily, that's basically the only difference. While a high body count isn't a great thing to have, doing something about your flaws and seeking to improve is a good idea. Of course, a woman trying to change her ways must also make the uncomfortable journey of learning about hypergamy, about why women often fawn over serial killers. The primal part of female sexuality can be just as dark and depraved as the male.

[@MrCman321]

Wow. Never seen this channel before but as a therapist, I am impressed. Most people don’t understand the principle of defences, that often times masturbation and porn are used like a coping tool for uncomfortable feelings rather than honest sexual desire. Learning to work with these feelings can do wonders in rooting out the impulses.

[@Bogman1066]

I found this to be the case often for myself. Feeling on edge and uncomfortable so I wanna feel better.

[@johngulster7787]

Yeah its not just porm that's a issue its a unchecked hormones.

[@andso7068]

@@johngulster7787id actually say that the problem lies with unchecked traumas rather than hormones.

[@TheWilliamHoganExperience]

As coping mechanisms go, you can do a lot worse than beating-off. I'd think a good therapist would recognize this, and encourage paying for the best porn possible. Well produced Ai curated porn makes masturbation more efficient and enjoyable. This makes coping with overwhelming emotions more effcient, leaving more time and emotional energy for identifying and dealing with root causes. Abstinence has the effect of driving people to other more harmful coping strategies, like drugs, alcohol, dating, and getting married. Lots of people end themselves when marriages fail. Few do so when Porn Hub goes down or starts censoring thier favorite kink. Figure it out folks....

[@misanthrophex]

Exactly.

[@stevend1070]

I've been on this journey for 1 year. Some days are better than others, but I'm so happy with the progress I've made. I can confidently look people in the eyes and not walk around with shame anymore. Thanks for putting this message out into the world! More men need to hear this. I used to think quitting porn was impossible, but now I believe

[@ManTalks]

Well done man, keep it going and appreciate you tuning in.

[@thealterego1777]

Why did quitting porn help you? Did it help you sleep less or more?

[@joelperpetua3929]

​@@thealterego1777at least for me porn was something that disconnected me from people, whenever I watched I felt corrupt and dirty and didn't want or feel like socialising with people or family, so I ended up isolating myself for years without talking about my life problems and making it look like I was doing just fine, also as explained in the video, you then use porn to cope with your life problems instead of dealing with them in a helpful way, so you end up not resolving those negative feelings and getting more dependent on porn, so a lose-lose situation. The fact of stopping using porn as a coping mechanism forces you to face the thoughts or feelings you are going through, and by doing so you can feel rewarded, and proud of yourself, I personally feel more open to talk with my partner or friends about my issues or negative thoughts, also I feel like recognising your problem with porn and talking with close friends about it also helps you to let go of your pride, recognise you are not perfect and that you need help and people next to you, at the end humans were made to be in community. So by doing so, you learn to be more vulnerable and to ask and accept help from other, which leads you to also see others with compassion and help them too in their journey of life, whatever they are going through. Doing these things leads you to a more meaningful life, full of beauty and purpose, which I could have never imagined before.

[@p0mpilius]

I’m about a year into my journey too! Everyday I feel better and better and I genuinely appreciate the little things. It’s so freeing to not be controlled by online consumption.

[@huveja9799]

May God bless you, sustain you and allow you to feel His presence .. it doesn't matter how many times we fall, but the times we get up, and He is always there to hold out his hand to us ..

[@technonine7586]

"10 pushups brother" os a sentence that will always live on in my heart. Thank you for sharing this message

[@drick2480]

I got exposed to porn at the tender age of 7. It was one of the worst things to happen to me as a child, completely sexualised my mind and contributed to self esteem and anxiety issues later in life relating to my sexuality and in relationships.

[@gnarly_charley]

Same 😮

[@Ruidacruz_36]

@drick2480 That's part of the work of the Devil. Still,Kill and Destroy. What is sad about it is that for many of us, it starts right in our household, which is something that kinda prepetuats from generation in generation. Until, someone give us that click picture of truth/understanding, and make us break the cycle. ..Amen? Amen!!!🙏 Praise the Lord 🙌 📖 James 1:12-25 Kjv Let the wrestle be evidence that the spirit of God is working on you and working in you.👊❤️‍🔥

[@drick2480]

@@Ruidacruz_36 ???

[@drick2480]

@@Ruidacruz_36 ???

[@Stoicsaiyan]

@@gnarly_charleyyep. It also made me question myself it sucks

[@Grooveworthy]

We're gonna make it, boys!

[@Normaxxed]

Hell yeah brother

[@misterkefir]

FIGHTING! Cheers!

[@zyaicob]

And girls

[@thebodykeepsthescore2828]

You're not😂

[@robviso]

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

[@danimal519]

This one little thing really turned me around -- when you "catch yourself in the act" about to act on that desire, then don't... it's a victory. And later that evening, the next day, whatever... when you think about being confronted with the challenge and then triumphing over it, you can tell it made you stronger. (i haven't looked at p*rn in ~ 5 months now, though I am still being frustrated by desire, i think the dating apps probably need to go... ) And yes, meditation is absolutely key... i'm realizing we're basically a society of insane people because meditation is a technology we should be learning as children

[@Catatonic2789]

Sadly these days it seems like quitting dating apps is synonymous with being single and celibate. There simple is no other reliable way to meet women these days.

[@GaryHighFruit]

I've heard that dating apps are only successful for 3% of men. You guys should watch those types of videos. And in that area of YT, you'll also realize you don't WANT to meet women. Prn addiction is actually the better problem to have. "quitting dating apps is synonymous with being single and celibate. " That's likely because women are now just using dating apps to find the men they REALLY want. They never wanted us 97%.

[@MKULTRA_Victim_]

​@@Catatonic2789this is an extremely depressing comment.

[@s0nofg0d2]

What I learned (maybe will help you) is: the sexual thoughts are not the problem or to phrase it in another way: the sexual feelings are not bad. It's the thing that's beneath it. I am convinced that sexuality in it's original form is very good, pure and intended to be a lot of fun and healthy too. 😉

[@huveja9799]

The images will always appear in our mind, that's not our fault, nor is it directly in our control. The problem is when we do not discard that image and, on the contrary, contemplate it. The second problem is what we decide to contemplate, and that depends on where our attention is focused, if we are distracted, well, in that case we are going to contemplate anything. On the other hand, if the source of our attention does not "feed" us, we will naturally look for other things. The only inexhaustible source of life is God, that's where our attention should be ..

[@skyrmory]

I've been struggling with this issue for years. It consumes up a lot of energy and caused me grief, resementment, shame and hatred towards myself and the world. Despite I knew pretty much all the points addressed, I still felt understood at the most fundamental level and it was inspiring to listen to you. Thank you so much for phrasing it in such an authentic and precise way. I liked, subscribed and I hope this video helps many people.

[@yodasgodfather1957]

I do appreciate a real conversation like this in a world where everything seems fake or ambiguous. This is refreshing content!

[@Njcolo27]

I like how I’ve been feeling this way and now my algorithm is suggesting your video. This is glaring to me change is needed

[@forbsey2049]

Have you changed ? 😊

[@Blurbbox]

Great analysis. Being ok with bored or painful feelings is a mark of maturity.

[@saldhillon2796]

True

[@flowbossandre]

Very true

[@markthompson1796]

I personally find that feeling of boredom brutal to sit with. I have the unrealistic expectation that I have to be achieving something at all minutes of the day.

[@v9b23j]

I used Tinder when I was bored and things weren't going well with my GF at the time ...

[@averyintelligence]

@@markthompson1796cos society has taught u that your worth is based on the work you provide. Partly true if you like at it whilst in the matrix. Once you exit the matrix you realise every living creature has equal value and scientifically must as physics tells us we are one.

[@ovojordie1467]

Im finding this JUST in time. I legit was just thinking how sick and tired I am of looking at a female and thinking, "huh, I would date her." Where as I want to re-program my mind to instead see them not as a partner or sexualize a person but rather as an individual and wonder instead "hmm, i bet she's a good person and a good friend." THAT is my goal.

[@MasterMoonClap]

That's spot on with what I've been trying to accomplish as well. My standards have been too low.

[@simon.templar9998]

😂

[@cd.unconquered]

Felt! Stay strong yall!

[@prizethought]

Wasted a decade of my life on CORN, I get off it for months and struggle as it seems everything in society is sexualized or oversexualized... this isn't healthy, training millions of men to only see & love women for the flesh instead of the spirit, the only real thing within them when the flesh is just an illusion. Now we see why CORN was banned for most of America's history.

[@justsomerandommfer]

"Huh, I would date her. " It's nice that your internal dialogue is civil and decent. Mine is out of control to the point of it manifesting physically, such as having to breaking eye contact when speaking with women. Then I have anxiety about the social interaction thinking that the person I was speaking with could tell what I was thinking.

[@lover3308]

Please make more content about this. This needs to become more seriously known

[@josephmbimbi]

I'm on a self-healing / repair journey of my own. I started with losing weight, getting into running and quitting alcohol, i know porn and screen addictions are next, and yeah i have poor self and impulse control too. I'm glad i stumbled upon your content, sometimes "the algorithm" does wonders

[@Jeff_H86]

Really love this video. I'm 38 now and I've struggled severely with sex & porn for so many years, only recently within the past few years have I began to become conscious to the cycle I was stuck in and begin the process of breaking it. It's constant work and it's not easy, but it is 100% worth it! Thank you for putting this out, I hope it reaches more people, this video needs the 10 of millions of views it deserves. Wish you all the best.

[@future62]

Nutrition isn't just what you eat, it's everything you consume. I try to approach content the same way

[@vickjr98]

Real

[@stepieninstruments8241]

wow, never thought about it that way. good point

[@tangomango2459]

Great insight

[@AbeE1theG]

Bruh, this coment is spot on! Can i quote u on this?

[@huveja9799]

What you say is deeper than it seems, it is not only man who feeds on bread, but also on the word of God ..

[@jeredmckenna]

What I like about this talk: 1) it doesn't try to guilt or shame people and make them "feel bad" so they want change. Shame drives you BACK INTO the habit. 2) it doesn't criticize, mock, belittle, or shame the women or social media feeds it talks about. hate, scorn, and contempt drive you BACK INTO the habit. Don't use any of that negative energy. Don't hate yourself, don't hate others. Just sit and focus on your breathing and let it ALL pass through you. good stuff!

[@MA-gu2up]

What do you mean by negative energy ? Because people will only try to change when they feel they are doing something wrong, right? And feeling something is wrong is negative energy, right? Also, I don't like how people are so afraid of criticism of bad things or things that encourage bad things. Should we also not criticize criminals and so on?!

[@jeredmckenna]

@@MA-gu2up Yes, totally understand your questions. I used to feel the same way about reality: negative emotional states exist in order to help us see "bad things" so we can then correct them and become good. This seems to make sense. And so, we shame our children, dredge up the past and remind our spouses how they hurt us, or sit and feel depressed as a method of trying to fix our problems. All the while, our kids still disobey, our spouse still sucks, and our life is still miserable and sad. But there is a better way. I have discovered, from personal experience, that using guilt, shame, and regret not only are ineffective at stopping bad habits, but they actually drove me deeper into them, always. I was an addict of a few substances for a long time. I became free only when I stopped being addicted to guilt and shame as well. I no longer choose to use negative energy states (regret, frustration, annoyance, hate, guilt, anxiety) and my life and the lives of those around me have been improved. (understatement) Using guilt as a tool for change is what the world has been doing for thousands of years. Has it worked well? My suggestion this: try to be radical: use good to fight bad, not bad to fight bad. Try to forgive yourself and have peace. See if that helps you overcome your addictions better than guilt and shame. Best of luck on your journey and peace to you!

[@inuhundchien6041]

@MA-gu2up realizing, understanding, knowing something is wrong is fine. What is not fine is beating yourself up or others about it. For example, you understand being obese is bad. Is there a need to hate yourself for it? Take note that it is negatively impacting your life and identify the habits that drive you towards being an obese person. There is no need to shame yourself or others for being obese. Just work on creating healthier habit and lifestyle.

[@MA-gu2up]

@@jeredmckenna But you think your addiction was a bad thing, right? Well, that is shaming yourself in a way. And if you are suggesting not thinking your behavior is wrong at all, then why would you change it? It isn't like you overcame your addiction by thinking that your addiction is a good thing, right? You must have thought you were doing something wrong. That is why you put effort into changing, right? Why would you change your addiction if you( being )addicted isn't a bad thing?

[@MA-gu2up]

@@inuhundchien6041 Well, that is what I was saying, mostly. You recognize you are doing something wrong. If you accept what you are doing as a good thing, why would you change? I don't think you should be beating yourself, but I think a person should think he is wrong for doing this because people strive to change wrong things

[@busybecomingmyself]

This gets the analysis of why we use sexual thoughts to distract ourselves from things we don't like, absolutely spot on.

[@7chanconn7]

This is exactly what addiction is. It’s trying to avoid the bad feelings and thoughts. It comes from within not from the drug

[@huveja9799]

Exactly as you say, it comes from within. The problem is the lack of meaning in our lives, and this in turn comes from the lack of God in our lives. We are created to seek Him, and when we don't, we replace Him with false idols, like the p*rn , which eventually destroy us ..

[@turtleanton6539]

Indeed

[@ejRecording]

That's only one aspect of addiction, there is a chemical, dopamine deficiency/reward deficiency effect as well at play

[@kayliejohnson4537]

@7chanconn7 That's not entirely true...Poor coping mechanisms and/or trauma may lead someone to seek out and engage with addictive substances, but the substance itself is innately addictive, such as porn, heroin, nicotine, etc. This is why it's soooo difficult to absolve ourselves of habitual wantonness: the negative feedback loop is like a vice that has a stranglehold on your neurological systems as well as your faulty coping abilities.

[@carlvargas7911]

​@ejRecording i agree. For me it isn't coping with anything, it is a dopamine high/addiction

[@nimblehuman]

Addiction to this sort of content ruined at least one relationship for me, and has been holding me back for years. It's also the most embarrassing thing about myself and it's not an easy thing to talk about. While not 100% free of it, I have largely cut it out, and content like this helps immensely in staying that course. Keep doing this work of loving-kindness to your fellow man, thank you so much! 🙏

[@maxwellolotu3852]

2 days clean Pray for me guys 😢

[@kamotokamanga2350]

How are u doing on the road to recovery

[@zohzu]

How is it going?

[@davidb7292]

Don't give up! You can do it!

[@TaiMaiShue]

Bro fapped as soon as he posted this comment

[@TheNightsfall1]

Hope it’s going well

[@CodeLife_12]

I'm going to do the "sit on the meditation cushion and face uncomfortable feelings" every time I want to watch sexual content. Wish me luck!

[@severussin]

Nah do 10 press ups every time you want to watch content. When you've done the press ups use the meditation to bring your heart rate down. This will teach your body that whenever you feel sexual energy you do something positive with the energy, it will change your psychology and the meditation will train your mind to take control over that 'new' space created by the press-ups.

[@annmarieknapp]

​@ThatGuy-bh9qhThat's probably true. Yikes.

[@griffins750]

It shouldn’t necessarily be that every single time you have a sexual thought or feeling that you feel the need to face it’s and “defeat” it so to speak, it’s simply about reeling in those feelings so that we are in control of them and not the other way around…

[@Girlyppop]

You won’t make it buddy, you fail every single time you see any women’s skin 💀💀💀

[@tommytwo-times9053]

@@Girlyppopwtf

[@jeng020]

Thank you for speaking about this! It’s not just me who feels trapped in the confusion and dissonance of living with an abundance of sexualized energies, images, and marketing, but then to get burned, hooked, or shamed when that fuzzy line gets crossed and now we’re just engaged purely sexually. It’s a deliberate, confusing, and clever play on our psychology and biology, designed to put us off balance and disempowered.

[@meaghanisobel1803]

Well said. It's so true

[@RipRecords]

I love that you're talking about this very important subject and topic. It needs to be talked about more with less shame. I'd really love it if you could do more content without the cursing...I think it would make things a lot more effective. Either way, best of luck on this mission! Signed an ex-porn/sex addict

[@alysarushtonenergy135]

I’m a woman and I am subscribing because these conversations require all of us doing the work. Super appreciate how you share this wisdom and how it relates to us all. This is absolutely invaluable! Thank you for your authenticity 🙏🏽

[@stoicmatt]

Dude, thank you. This is a serious struggle in our society nowadays that keep us all weak Keep posting more content!

[@navinsundar6694]

It’s so disturbing how we know we are addicted to p*** to drown out misery from low self esteem and failure as it is in my case yet do very little to understand where the problem stems from and deal with it much more effectively. Thanks for getting right to the fountainhead of the problem and showing why the solution is really not dealing with the p*** problem itself, rather attacking what is fuelling the addiction and keeping it alive.

[@reformed_attempt_1]

could there be a connection between how you guys censor yourself when writing the word "porn" and your low self esteem?

[@s0nofg0d2]

Well spoken!

[@OrloxPhoenix]

​@@reformed_attempt_1it's to avoid shadowbans from youtube, you think someone is afraid to write that word? 😂

[@water3602]

I mean honestly I think that has so much to do with the nature of the act itself and why we do it -- to medicate ourselves. Why should I research why this thing is wrong even if I do feel guilt and shame from it, when I could use it to numb myself and just not think at all? Rather, the whole point of porn and masturbation is primarily to numb and dull your thoughts and pain and fear, so when it's serving that purpose you've already submitted to the decision to ignore your feelings to the best of your ability. Btw I'm not mocking or chastising anyone who suffers from this cycle, because I did too. Being able to face our problems when it feels like it wouldn't ever end is very difficult, and for me the answer was in God. I am over a month free from porn and masturbation and have been spending that energy in prayer and time with God, letting Him re-write my life to have no room or place for porn or sexual addiction again. It has worked guys, not because God does whatever I ask in prayer, but because of the spiritual, mental, emotional and physical perspective change God brings when one makes the effort to fully surrender their troubles and investments and idols and everything else to Him. Not by giving everything away, but by simply choosing to not try and do it all alone. We weren't made to shoulder all the pain and suffering and work and problems of the world on our own, becuase inevitably we humans will fail eventually -- we are imperfect. Instead, we were made to allow God into our every problem so that together with Him we can succeed and do good. Contrary to popular belief, non-christians going to hell isn't exactly the wrathful divine punishment that we have come to think it is. It's actually more of a logical outcome that reflects our own attitudes towards God than His attitude towards us. The reason that salvation vs damnation is decided by whether or not one is a believer in Christ is this: God is the creator of all good things, and from these things bad things have also been created (as distortions of what is God's good creation), and so to deny His place as the One True God, to deny the choice we all have to worship and repent to Him for what mankind has done, is to instead endorse mankind's perversion of God's good creation, to cut God out of life as we know it, and to do it ourselves. On a very fundamental level, this means we choose to rule things ourselves and remove God entirely, when God is THE reason for all that is good. What is life where there is NOTHING that is good? That is what Hell is. Hell is the place where rebellion against God is culminated, a place completely without God's good things and good experiences and good life. Btw our common cultural understanding of Heaven and Hell and Satan, demons, and angels, all is mostly the result of Dante's Inferno and similar literary works that used representative storytelling similar to like C.S. Lewis's Narnia series to embody Christian beliefs poetically, but were consumed and taken at face value over the generations. Satan isn't a red guy with horns and bat wings and hooves and a pitch fork, and angels are, as I'm sure many know by now thanks to memes, not actually people dressed in white robes with dove wings and a halo over their heads, likewise cherubim aren't little winged babies playing harps or anything. Completely went down a massive rabbit hole but I kinda just wanted to dump my thoughts in all of this here, so sorry about that. I know no ones going to read it all

[@KingNeptune151]

@@water3602Good insight

[@Bizarro69]

The funny thing about successfully de-sexualizing is that the pool of turn-ons gets even bigger and more simpler. For instance these videos of women cleaning the kitchen in short-shorts, whereas during high p0$n consumption one needed hardcore content to get that aroused. But that being said, the arousal itself is different, much healthier and more like the way you feel after a good laugh. Rather than a noose around your neck. Great video man.

[@thegentlemanfish7504]

I just want to say thanks for this video. After watching the other day, I cleared out everything from my search history, told the KZbin algorithm not to show anymore posts from certain channels in my feed, and I have felt amazing since I did so. I've felt more at peace and am less angry and annoyed by people. I appreciate this so much.

[@gorge464]

I have been working on this. For me I have... 1. On my phone, removed Facebook, Instagram, and Reddit. I identified these as problems for me. 2. I have been deporning feeds. Unfollow the traps. Tell the algorithm I don't want to see sex. I've noticed these moves have had great effects on my mood and self image. Thank you for the suggestions for more that could be done. Thank you for saying what many others are experiencing.

[@johngulster7787]

And what do you do with your free time?

[@burger101ful]

Hi, how are you coping with not going on instagram?

[@johngulster7787]

Unfollowing social media helps. Smart idea.

[@maxink1809]

Does reddit ha NSFW content?

[@burger101ful]

@@maxink1809it has a lot

[@eggstravagent3801]

Damn this was deep man, Im only 19 but its like all my life has been filled with a voidless empty chasm of lonliness. School, work, gym. over and over and over again, and I go home and there's nothing there for me. I can see why ive used this addiction as my opiod, I dont even hate myself, I actually have started to sympathize instead of antagonizing myself. Alright, time to change this shit for the better. No one is coming to save me, and thats fine.

[@Law34prez]

Only 19! You're gonna be a beast dude keep at it.

[@eggstravagent3801]

@@Law34prez Thank you, I wont let you down!

[@Law34prez]

@@eggstravagent3801 Same here bro, same here. 33 btw

[@eggstravagent3801]

@@Law34prez Whats your best advice if you could give to your 19 year old self?

[@Law34prez]

@@eggstravagent3801 Don't "deal" with anything you don't have to. Stop giving so many fucks about things that aren't you and finding your purpose. TRUST YOUR FUCKING GUT! It's not there for you to argue or second guess it. I could go on but the the fun is in what YOU figure out. You asking questions puts you ahead of 90% of ppl you got this dude! 💪🏾😎

[@corinaspfx]

men's minds have been hijacked by sexualised content the same way women's bodies have been deformed for the same reason, consequence is relationships (both romantic and platonic) have since collapsed - thank you for this video 🖤

[@machosadness]

Lust is not a bad thing, it's natural. @@StrongLikeVegeta

[@corinaspfx]

@@StrongLikeVegeta dunno that the pendulum has to swing completely in the other direction via religion, but yes, i hear you and glad you've found what works for you

[@JustChill-zd4ib]

Nothing wrong with yanking it. You go crazy if you don't. Been there done that. Its unhealthy to not yank it and sexual content helps with that.

[@twonrichpo]

Absolutely agree sis. It'd very unfortunate

[@DerPijO]

Yeah im so sick of it. Since years im Not getting involved in anything. Its Just stressful and uncomfortable to get aroused. Even when a girl Hits on me. Its Just stressful. Theres no Feelings of Love or anything. I just feel emotionally crippled.

[@Ziggle-ky9kv]

The fact that nobody talks about the book NoFap Rebirth Project, speaks volumes about how people are stuck in life.

[@mikeylazovich3262]

Nofap is for losers and Nofap rebirth project is a dumb book

[@nm9412]

This is a scam

[@Pandarah]

From a different video, different channel: "@hiddengem12-o9s - 4 days ago The fact that nobody talks about the book Matrix Golden Cashflow Tactics, speaks volumes why people dont earn a lot of money.." Pretty sure all these comments are just a bunch of scams XD

[@ericwinborn9396]

Orrr people just make changes and don't feel the need to find some label or group to be a part of like "nofap" to be successful. Maybe it's because "nofap" just means being a normal mfer that hasn't been plagued by hypersexualization of media and watching porn their whole life

[@footsiez]

Comment to like ratio makes no sense, confirmed is a scam

[@Yishaii]

I can't appreciate you enough for this video. These times are tough, but it's a battle that can be won.

[@isabelvir]

Woman here! Very interesting stuff you're bringing up, love it. There was a point of my life where i thought watching p*** was the default for man and women so i got used to watching it. But it got to a point where i couldn't get sexually aroused by mental images or anything, to be honest, if not p***. That realization of "fuck, I've literally lost control over my sexual triggers" was the thing that made me go cold turkey. I decided i wouldn't watch p*** anymore. It takes a lot of time to find a video that you actually like (sometimes i would get to page 15 on p***hub 💀) and once i was done i felt so guilty about it. It's so insidious. Wasting precious time of my life for this? This ain't it. It's been 5 years and i haven't watched p*** since. I don't need it, im happy and I can enjoy my sexuality in healthy way. Love to all you men, you're awesome!

[@mardobardogardo4930]

DID YOU JUST ASSUME YOUR GENDER ?

[@isabelvir]

@@mardobardogardo4930 did you just assumed my assumption?

[@mardobardogardo4930]

@@isabelvir i DID IM SORRY

[@isabelvir]

@@mardobardogardo4930 don't worry. Have a nice day brother

[@mardobardogardo4930]

@@isabelvir DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY GENDER? DAMN SON

[@ironxYT]

Reconditioning ourselves to actually feel what we’re feeling can be an incredible gift: it can actually make you realize you aren’t where you want to be in life. If we let ourselves just keep beating off for that dopamine spike it keeps us contentedly numb. Keeps us satiated. And not in any sort of real, deep, lasting way - but a numb way. And it’s so so so terrible for us. Thank you for this

[@bryanw2025]

First time listening. I’ve heard about identifying the “triggers” many years ago and I understood it was things like feeling hungry, angry, lonely, sad, tired… an acronym like HALTS can help you remember what categories of triggers can be the precursor to acting out and falling into the nasty habit. This talk is helpful at my time of my life now and I am journaling and reflecting on what’s happening.

[@FancyCatMusic]

This is a great video and perspective on this topic -- it is a testament to how we must remind ourselves as primal and biological beings that engaging in on-demand sexual gratification is not healthy nor natural to our way of life. I think for me personally this is a hard pill to swallow. When you have no friends, no family members, no support groups, or even online acquaintances, the lure and draw of intimate companionship with someone is more than just difficult to ignore. A very strong point was made in this video -- I believe the uncomfortable feelings I experience frequently stem from the absence of close friends or family, the feeling of genuine loneliness, are what drive me towards this 'deviant' type of behavior. It's an easier way of coping than crying my eyes out as to how my own life decisions up until this point have caused me to become truly alone, with no desire, know-how, nor ambition to venture out into the world around me to form meaningful relationships. I will bear the thoughts of this video in mind going forward -- but I do wonder what I will inevitably turn to if I don't allow myself this avenue of pleasure. I wish to meditate more and to be at peace with myself and surroundings, rather than resorting to nihilism and consider arguments as to why I should kill myself.

[@v9b23j]

Dr. K says a lot of his patients who struggle with porn addiction share one thing in common: lack of meaning and purpose in life. He said, they consume porn as a form of emotional regulation/to numb their discomfort, anxiety, anger, frustration or escape boredom and loneliness.

[@racecrushers1590]

I left IG years ago because of this very thing, happy to see you talk about it.

[@fishinforfun3359]

You killed it on Chris’s podcast. I was glad to see you there. You spread a positive message. I’ve reflected a lot on some of your videos and applied things in them to my life. Your’e doing good work, keep it up.

[@ManTalks]

Outstanding, thanks for tuning in and digging into the work.

[@ChrisWestin]

I found you from Chris' podcast - very helpful content. Thank you so much.

[@EesasThoughts]

Appreciate this video Connor, I like the tip about finding more excitement in your life. I think if you’re often getting to the point of being triggered/forcing yourself not to look at something, you’re already doing something wrong. The best way to live is to have a life so exciting and fulfilling that you don’t even entertain the idea of looking at porn

[@richardsummers6827]

I think being intentional about where we get our dopamine hits makes abstinence from compulsive behavior sustainable.

[@adstem5]

what kind of stuff do you spend your days doing tho

[@_NayomieMcLeod]

​@@adstem5I want to know the answer too!

[@tripzville7569]

Absolutely vital information sir , you got a new subscriber . Humanity is right in the middle of an existential crisis, and our addictions are somewhere to hide.

[@zekesaadiq108]

It takes work to change those sexual algorithms but it's really worth it. Just keep telling the social media sites and content platforms that you're not interested. It's tedious but it's also a reminder every time. I'm not interested in this... Even better, I am interested in these other things. Godspeed. 🙏🔥

[@neaquehatami1045]

Thank you for making this video, my life is in total disarray at the moment and I’ve always felt that taking back control in these seemingly small but hugely impactful daily habits is somewhat of a corner stone of improvement and growth during any successful period of my life. Videos like this one inspire me sooo much. Thank you

[@zaclyst]

Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing how sexualized content had manifested problems in your life. There is no shortage of videos on KZbin to talk about “hacks“ for desexualizing your life. I found this video to be personal, much more relatable, and way more practical to implement. I’m subscribed and looking forward to more thoughtful content.

[@zachsilby4569]

You just helped me realise that I'm good, I've got a good handle on myself. Sure I am a sexual being but I am not a hypersexual one, it doesnt affect my life. I now also have warnings to take notice of in the future when I'm in danger. Thanks dude

[@RationalNon-conformist]

Watching porn is not healthy in any way, even if you don’t think it’s affecting you, it actually is changing your brain/behavior.

[@darya4828]

Glad there are videos like these on YT. It is helpful a) for me personally as I’ve done the same things: blocking, hitting “not interested”, unfollowing, etc and b) to know that there’s help for men out there.

[@connorhoux2987]

I really appreciate you emphasizing the amount of time it can take in some cases to grow through this. Been working through this for a long time and just want to say to anyone struggling not to get discouraged. You can and will get through it! Praise the Lord 🙌🏼

[@calebwaters6334]

Probably the best talk I’ve found on YT. Good one. I’m newly inspired to change.

[@rickreid5620]

I have a very strong opinion this very topic is destroying men at an alarming rate and is not discussed nearly enough. Thank you for your time and efforts to create and share this content. Keep up the good work.

[@matthewstrauts5427]

Absolutely zero question it's destroying both men and women. The women creating porn on sites like OF lead an empty life. On back end it is destroying the lives of the consumer of it.

[@senghorsanga]

I'm dead ass searching for mk1 combo videos but who knew I needed this. Amazing work

[@misterwho1]

It is not easy, I feel myself badly and I’m just trying control myself as much as I can, let’s be truly strong man

[@cavey1965]

Thanks

[@ManTalks]

Thank you! Really appreciate the support

[@GuywithThoughts]

It makes me happy to see more videos like this. I'm happy that younger men can be exposed to this side at an earlier age. For those of use growing up with the internet, many of us steeped in this problem alone without any support or exposure to these kinds of ideas. I'm happy that people can begin their journey of healing sooner, because the longer you keep heading down that path, the more difficult of a battle it is to get out of it.

[@HunterHemingway]

Love it mate, thank you. Came to KZbin & searched desexualizing the brain. I had a hyper sexualized childhood, throughout teens, into adulthood. I want to love someone & not have my avoidant attachment style take over. One aspect of this is my attention on the multitudes of women I have been with & can be with whenever I find someone I like, I compare them to what I have had or can have. It won’t be all but I know this is one aspect of it & I appreciate your efforts & focus on this. Implementation ENGAGED.

[@RoomOnFire11]

Wow I'm exactly the same

[@sterax.]

fuck man. this me

[@sajiste]

I’m extremely grateful you introduced yourself in this age of misinformation people are constantly being misled.

[@CoreanKat]

Wild that this popped up in my feed. I’ve been clean from impulsive sexual acts for a few weeks and the title of this video alone hit the nail on the head. The benefits of becoming desexualized were immediately obvious, including the thirst traps having less and less effect on me.

[@pakayahuththo5295]

I have a very self sabotaging cycle that I'm trying really hard to break. Every time I have an urge I open youtube and type how to stop porn addiction. and then watch random videos. that's how i came across your channel. To all the men out there struggling keep telling your self Not Today, just Not today..one day at a time.. All the best..

[@christ9359]

Thank you for being so candid about this. I have to imagine that a lot of men my age suffer from this, because we were coming of age when the internet was relatively new. I don't think our parents could have really understood the evils of all the sexual content that was available on the internet. Nor would it have been reasonable to expect that they could block it all.

[@NetworkSneed]

Its crazy how the internet went from cat videos and skits made by kids... to a memetic hyper reality of a monolith that seeps into every mind. It used to be a smaller picture in a larger frame, now its the other way around.

[@matthewstrauts5427]

All by design

[@JewTube001]

once it got big people saw the money and influence in it and now here we are. i really miss old days

[@ProductBasement]

It's the algorithms, man. They're learning about you. Teach them that you like wholesome content, when you're signing up, don't specify a gender if you can avoid it, and your feeds will go back to wholesome content. I still get sexy ads, but all the organic content I get recommended on KZbin is comedy, Bible stuff, political commentaries, and educational videos

[@averyintelligence]

First porn I watched was 2girl 1 cup on my flip phone in like 2007. I also see marge and Bart smashing ass cheeks

[@MisterMister5893]

This guy has major insights into my life. It’s a bit severing to hear others talk about your own habits and tendencies like they switched places with you. It’s embarrassing as if they are reading your life story for all to see.

[@blakewinberry]

You’re are extremely well spoken compared to other self help content creators i have watched in the past This was a very helpful video!

[@NerdyBrain123]

Been a long journey for me. I have hurt my partner with actions driven by a sexual brain. It's a really addicting trap, and it can feel therapeutic the way it numbs us out. But truly, I have never felt better. It is so important to cleanse your sexual brain and re-center yourself. It is worth it and you owe it to yourself to become your better self. Allow yourself to feel and grow. Become more present. Your entire life changes and heals when you do this. Thank you so much for spreading the message. ❤

[@pweezy5661]

Awesome video ! I can honestly say that removing the apps and sexual content and coupling it with meditation is honestly one of the best methods to quitting porn and desexualizing your brain.

[@classic88warrior83]

Social media is soft prn

[@sloaiza81]

Wow. What a line.

[@Truebro79]

Especially Twitter, and i know that prn addiction is only gonna keep getting worse in future generations cause i got addicted at a really young age due to the internet and not only is the internet more accessible than ever but there is also more sexual content now than when i was 9 yrs old

[@Chekuthan0101]

Then don't use it. Everyone has a choice. Some use it wisely, make connections, enjoy life. Some just search for these nonsense and can't control themselves and then blame the technology.

[@classic88warrior83]

@@Chekuthan0101 ya you don't say 🥱

[@Nate-or9lw]

​@Sanju__Sebastian true but regardless of what you use it for, he's right they push seductive sensual content regardless cause sex sells

[@johnnellfelarca3777]

I needed this a ton especially right now. Appreciate you knocking some sense into me

[@OGGuaves]

I just went to my first Sexaholics Anonymous meeting this morning and honestly it was one of the most important things I could have done for myself. Talking with all these dudes who have suffered made me realize how much of my life I’ve wasted, and it’s time for me to work my ass off and stop being a passenger in my own life by staying in sexual fantasies. I’m absolutely going to keep going to SA meetings, and I wholeheartedly recommend these to anybody who struggles with porn addiction

[@Oceantaikutsuu]

Hey bro. Just remember that addiction recovery groups are founded in the 12 step principles, and it's about God when no one else could help us. It just doesn't work when you don't follow the steps to him. The first step is always the most difficult, keep that in mind, pride was the root of the fall of man.

[@dustinrhoades5468]

I deleted all social media off my phone. Started using covenant eyes on all my devices which has been helping a tremendous amount. Started building models, crossword books, exercising, reading and filling my time with some sort of activity that keeps me from going down the rabbit hole.

[@Raptor717]

This is a barrier that so many guys (myself included) struggle with. Sucks being stuck in thirst trap mode but like anything in life, a little motivation and perseverance can get you through life's obstacles. We all have so much raw mental power and energy instilled in us, but so many don't know how to tap into it unfortunately. This message certainly helped me become a better man. I appreciate it.

[@thesitdowncomedian9301]

I love this video! I personally struggle with balancing the amount of sexual content that’s available to me while maintaining my quality of life and not becoming a hermit.

[@chickenortheeggphotography]

I watched an episode of Diary of a CEO and one of the guests suggested the 10 minute strategy. I don't recall exactly what it was called, or who it was, but I started to use this with every distracting or offending thought. The premise was similar to yours, except if you get distracted you could do whatever it was that was distracting you, in 10 minutes. What I discovered was that 10 minutes later never happened. By the time I hit 10 minutes I had forgotten about what it was. I had one of the most productive months of my life and then I stopped using the concepts and I've certain felt the effects of giving in to whatever distractions are there, whether it's sexual, hunger, boredom, you name it. In the new year I plan to get back to that methodology.

[@ksneia]

1. have a purpose on every wake up in the morning 2. Focus to get the job done. agree with airplane mode, because notification, message, and calls are annoys me. I'll rather check them while break. 3. I know it exhausting, and wanting to have access to Internet to see some fun, but... the key is have consciousness to say it is "enough" don't let them feeding. 4. Meditation. Agree, l use this to disconnect myself from this world. 5. Vacation without phone & internet Those are my best strategy.

[@Crusadercapitalist]

Thanks and God bless!

[@ManTalks]

Appreciate the support!

[@LogosFlow]

6:34 "Get some friends you can go on adventures with?" That is waaaay easier said than done in this age of poverty, insanity and addiction.

[@JudahMaccabius]

It's hard but worth trying.

[@mauranicholson4510]

it's not about spending money, it's going to the park, going on a hike, walking around town and just seeing the sights, definitely a hard time economically to start hobbies/adventures but it's not impossible

[@publicspace234]

I’ve been hypersexual for years. Rid myself of sexual response-structures through meditating, taking psychedelics regularly, getting rid of TV, video games, etc. No im almost asexual. I still enjoy flirting and talking to girls. But I haven’t had sex or any intact in 10 months and I don’t feel a void or emptiness about it. I spend my time writing, reading, tripping, walking and talking to people or doing art. I masturbate once or twice a month. It’s so freeing. I hit a 4 month depression when I first cut everything out of my life-but after prolonged boredom-productivity and focus have come back. Some of the women I was seeing responded like I had something wrong with me. That it was abnormal for me to stop being hyper sexual and horny. I’ve noticed everyone I speak to that’s trapped in heavy sexual “normal” obsessions and predilections look at me like I’m broken. But I’m free of the curse. Move around. Be ultra-mindful of what you’re consuming. More than that-watch your thoughts emotions and triggers-like an analyst.

[@Chavesther123]

👍👍

[@jeanettetobey3433]

I agree wholeheartedly with you! May I ask what setting do you take the psychedelics in? Meaning, do you buy them and set your own area for trippin or go through a medical staff, or ?? I’m asking for a friend🙃😉

[@foedeer]

Well done 🎉

[@nagendrapal27]

Which psychedelic.. Can you help

[@tomasr64]

I'm an OG so I know the game being played with the female form. I know that my attention is one sided. So I have learned to train my eyes and brain that its just fake images, yes its just empty calories. That is a great analogy C. So yes, my attention is valuable and don't want to be spending it on nada. Yes, going into airplane mode at 9pm is very important.

[@bfelb]

Your attention is valuable is a good one.

[@Boney4000]

Salute OG. Starting late but working on my self control with stoicism, self development, and content like this

[@BeltMarta-s4o]

I just gone through a hard breakup. A few months ago, my five-year relationship ended, and it has been really difficult. I can't seem to get my ex lover off my mind, and I still love him a lot. Nothing I've tried to get him back has worked, and at this point, it seems impossible to be with anybody else. Although sharing this here may seem strange, I miss him terribly and can't stop thinking about him.

[@rocitessa-d1m]

I completely understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar experience when my 10 year relationship ended. I couldn't imagine my life without him, so I tried everything to rekindle our love. I eventually found guidance from a spiritual counselor, and their support helped me bring him back into my life if you're open to it, seeking help from a spiritual counselor might make a difference.

[@BeltMarta-s4o]

How did you find your spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with them?

[@rocitessa-d1m]

His name is Father Obah Eze and he's an incredible spiritual counselor known for helping restore relationships.

[@rocitessa-d1m]

He can assist you; he is Father Obah Eze, and he possesses immense powers.

[@BeltMarta-s4o]

Thanks to your useful information, I just looked him up online. amazing Father Obah Eze is really sincere, based on my online research. Once again, thank you ❤

[@footballdude6824]

Thank you so much man. This could not be further from the truth. Since I’ve stopped watching sexualized content i’ve started working out with my wife, looked into and currently ready to go back to school for a better career path, and started eating healthier. It feels good to not be run by those urges and it’s still a battle but I won’t let it win because I know I deserve more and I deserve better. Thank you again.

[@royflowers99]

Brother, I’ve only watched 3 minutes of this video so far and I can say I’m humbled by your honesty and the way you articulate yourself. Looking forward to watching the rest of the video and to check out other videos on your channel. God speed.

[@Ace_YourExam]

Hey man, thank you for uploading this kind of content to the web. I used to have so many sexual thoughts daily that I wasn´t able to concentrate at work without thinking about watching soft porn online or masturbating. The internet has been very pernicious for me in that sense because it was constantly bombarding me with sexual content that aroused me. KZbin, in particular, has made me a lot of damage in the last couple of years. However, your video is a solid PROOF that KZbin can be both a good and a bad thing. You can use it as a detrimental toy that prevents you from living a meaningful life or you can use it, as with this video, to help you grow and to develop yourself in whichever area you desire.

[@rych7852]

Good video! I don't meditate. And honestly, I'm not likely to start now I'm in my 40s. But what I do instead now to take my mind away from thirst, is do one of the chores I've been putting off. Put the laundry in the machine, clean the bathroom etc

[@PyroFeenix]

Why don't you want to start in your 40s? People meditate at any age. If u want to try just do it for 5 minutes and you will see what a big change it makes

[@coreyapotter]

I just wanted to say how refreshing it is to hear this kind of conversation without any religious connotation.

[@Mrs90417]

I don't think my husband is being honest about all the places and how often he had these thoughts. I appreciate the honesty here.

[@Sigmaseven14]

Thank you for your content brother. I’ve needed this years and years. And nothing you said is new information but what’s distinct to me about you is that I don’t feel as much shame when I listen to you talk about this topic. May god bless you immensely for your work!

[@nicolasmandeville2810]

Since I deleted all of my social media accounts I have been feeling a lot better honestly. I also completely stopped watching porn and all of my "lust" goes toward my wife and my wife only these days.

[@twonrichpo]

I love that bro!! Keep on 👏🏼

[@shufflewing]

Yeah. Great news!

[@brianp4819]

thsi is EXACTLY what i needed to see. sexuality is one factor that diminishes my sense of self.

[@blakeunderwood1075]

Literally what I wanted to see. I been explaining these kind of these to my male friends for years. That the world has become overtly and over sexualized and we must discipline ourselves.

[@jessicasmith9039]

Thank you so much for sharing this content. I hope this reaches many more people that need the help and push to start living a more meaningful life. ❤

[@AdamLeis]

Good talk, good advice. Stepping away and switching focus is one I use often. Meditation for the purpose of taking notice of what's going on is good too, but that guard has to stay up so you don't just sit and fantasize. I learned our brains don't know the difference between O-face from "the act" itself vs O-face from watching others and "helping yourself." It's all spreading the genetics, so it'll enable neuro-paths that help that keep happening. Keep up the good work. Thanks again 👍👏

[@cng2009]

This was good, honest, practical and very actionable!

[@davidgershwin4110]

Great video, loved the honesty. Not always an easy conversation but so relatable to young men the world over. I think being open and vulnerable is the highest road and helps the most people out of the trap. There is a most dire need for your message right now, this is massively important work.

[@FlutterSwag]

Just turned 30 and i feel so empty and tired of everything

[@Louiers2012]

I feel this brother. Just know that you are not alone

[@isaiah4197]

rooting for u

[@PaulSimonMcCarthy-fu6ms]

Cut out the Internet.

[@VapidVulpes]

Heck yeah, I retrained my social media algorithms a long time ago to not recommend me thirst traps, then cut out triggers irl and watched my porn usage plummet! Now I feel like I have more control over myself, and more confidence and focus and drive for my career and social life than I ever had before Great talk man :) thanks for speaking on this issue

[@Christian988.]

Thank you for the actual solid and actionable advice. I will bear this in mind next time I'm having a bit of a wobble or feeling down or uncomfortable about something but can't put my finger on what.