Is It OK For a Christian To “Date” / Marry a Non-Christian? (What MANY Misunderstand)

Is It OK For a Christian To “Date” / Marry a Non-Christian? (What Most MISUNDERSTAND)
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[@thatomofolo452]

Why am I not allowed to date in 2025 😮

[@PamelaLynn-i1m]

Good advice! You should seek a spouse that puts you second and Christ first!!

[@GA-Vic]

Yes!

[@aaronstately]

you shoudl take what you can get if your heart burns with desire and work on it. Christian or non christian. Matt does not know what he talks about.

[@DeniseThomson-y5p]

As a new Christian i married a non believer ,been married 28 years but it has not been easy .

[@arthurdevrome8925]

Unequally yoked.

[@DeniseThomson-y5p]

@arthurdevrome8925 yes ,he has come around some , there is a but it has not been easy . My husband knows where I stand what I will and will not do . I was a new Christian at the time ,and foolishly thought I could change him quickly or rather our Lord would . Been married 28 years ,I have told him in times of dispute don't make me choose between you and God you will lose .

[@decoydave]

@@DeniseThomson-y5p thank the Lord for giving you strength and grace to honour your marriage. Keep praying for your husband as you don't know what God is doing behind the scenes and his salvation may just be around the corner.

[@DeniseThomson-y5p]

@@decoydave beautifully said and true thank you .

[@Glenda-fp5vh]

Unequally yoked brings heartbreak.

[@aaronstately]

Yes, it can. But it need not be that way. "they are saved because of you" avoiding heart break is not the issue, avoiding sin is. marriage allows you to fullfil your sexual desires with out sin. sometimes it might not be all that loving.. but they union can still be honorable.

[@Glenda-fp5vh]

@aaronstately Yes it allows you to avoid sin, however it is best to be equally yoked.

[@aaronstately]

@@Glenda-fp5vh and how do you suggest ppl become equally yoked while they are fighting the urge to be together sexually?? we are not all as strong willed as you make out.

[@Christine-j7b]

Married 49 years to someone who believes in God but not born again in Christ, It has not been easy, especially in early days when I became filled with the Holy Spirit but he has come a long way through the years and we can share a lot together and I believe he will come through in the end. I know God can change him instantaneously. I have been transformed more through what I have endured and suffered than from an easy life. God knows exactly what He is doing and I know my prayers are heard.

[@GA-Vic]

Yes, for sure!

[@jimboswell4818]

My first wife was a witch, my second wife was not sure if God existed, my third wife said she believed but turns out she didn't. I now live alone with my dog and have a clear purpose as a Chaplain in the local jail. Happier than ever. Am I clear on this?

[@DeniseThomson-y5p]

@@jimboswell4818 who is this directed at me ?

[@bethesaltandlight]

As a newborn again christ follower who finds oneself now in an unequally yoked marriage, my conviction is so strong that i would not choose to be unequally yoked. Do not do it, if u do, u are seeking what the flesh wants, and saying ur way is better than Gods plan for u. This will only bring more challenges into your life.

[@mawmaw9156]

I was in a very abusive marriage, my ex husband would not go to church and he tried physically to stop me from going even as far as threatening my life. In late 2001 he left me and asked me for a divorce. I bought his part of our home. The KJV BIBLE tells us because of fornication the ex has to give a signature for divorce but the woman can not marry again. I’m not saying this word for word but I’ll try to find that scripture and post it here later. I’m a born again Christian and I’m no longer a victim I’m a survivor by Gods Grace and Love for me. I’m also a Prayer Warrior and I’m growing every day understanding God’s Word in my KJV BIBLE. Thank you for sharing this video. ❤️🙏🙏

[@mawmaw9156]

KJV BIBLE about divorce. MATTHEW 5;31-32.

[@lawrencehorner8418]

@@mawmaw9156 What is your advice to those who have already remarried?

[@aaronstately]

If he cheated on you then he needs to give you a certificate of divorce. You are then free to remarry. otherwise you ought remain with him till he dies. or you die.

[@Romans_8.38-39]

I agree, Matt. Thank you. If I were able to begin a relationship, it would definitely need to be Christ-centered.❤🙏

[@aaronstately]

Matts wrong because none of what he states is supported in the bible.

[@joannemarkham4322]

Well said Matt. I agree 100%. God Bless. 🙏🏻❤️

[@richardholappajr.6184]

Thank you, Matthew, for the sound Biblical advice.

[@davidwilliams8405]

Well said and spot on, Matt.

[@Faithandseekerofchrist]

Even Christians can be unequally yoked. My ex and I had many things in common and we were both Christians but he was extremely insecure where I constantly had to reassure him about things, he was controlling and disrespected my boundaries when I said that I wanted some space to relax because he made me feel overwhelmed but instead he started sighing and the final straw was when I told them that I wanted to make friends and that I found a Christian group where I wanted to make friends in, he said that friends just betray you anyway and was very disappointed when I told him that. I felt crushed because I thought he would be happy for me and I thought he would respect my boundaries when I put them in there but he did not. Also when we did spend time together he would spend a brief time in the Bible but then went back to being overly clingy and wanted to just talk about random things. I don't mind talking about random things but I want there to be a mixture of things. I knew at this point we were not compatible and that I did not feel safe with him because he may even try to isolate me for my family and I couldn't have that. When I broke up with him my piece came back and I started feeling more mentally stable. Matt is also right don't get into a relationship because you feel lonely and you want somebody to complete you because ultimately it will lead to failure and devastation. Be with someone that you want to be with not because you need to. Now I'm currently trying to work on myself so I don't make the same mistake again. It's better to know now than to find out after marriage. If you're not content by yourself then how are you going to be content with someone else?

[@aaronstately]

Defiantly, just take any Christian and a catholic.. they havent even read the bible. they are worse than the non Christian.

[@bethdurham5601]

Amen, brother!

[@velcroman11]

I am a Christian. I married a woman who is a Hindu. She is a wonderful woman in many ways, kind, generous, a great cook, hard working and very honest. If I could go back in time I would never have married her. I would prefer that we had developed a good relationship.

[@marie_sushi90]

I received salvation two years into my marriage. My husband says I'm not the same person he married, since we were both agnostics/atheists back when we were dating. He has told me that one day, I'll have to choose between him and God. I am praying for him every day and hoping that he will be saved too. I see it as my cross to bear!

[@MitchWaldo-ws3tj]

Amen Matt agree 100%.😊

[@joannmoreira6091]

Very good sound biblical advice

[@aaronstately]

none of that was biblical, and it was cherry picked.

[@MelaniemcGhee-p3c]

It is better to be happy and free, than to wish you were. Matt, you have strength that u ou don't know you have. I wish you didn't experience heartbreak on top of evererything else. Don't give up. Hang in there. It won't be long until our redeemer returns. Sister in Christ, Melanie.

[@GA-Vic]

Yes, i believe the same way. Thank's mate, for confirming!

[@YolBasDa]

The bible says do not be unequally yoked.

[@Lynnimod]

I met my husband before I was saved. I met him 40 years ago, and been married to him for 37 years. He respects my faith, he does not interfere with me in going to church. I do pray on my own and when I do pray, I pray for my husband amongst other things. He was in the Catholic church as a boy and tells me of a story when he was in school on a Monday morning, a priest would come into the school and ask the children what colour robes was the priest wearing on Sunday. If they didn't know they got caned, because it meant they hadn't been to mass. My husband resents that. There are other things he tells me about nuns, but I won't go into it. The Catholic church turned my husband away from God, but those priest have to answer for themselves before God ( That's if they haven't already passed, they will already have been judged. Me and my husband are in our 60's)

[@aaronstately]

catholics are shockers.. he is prbly a rational man turned away by pomp and tradtion..

[@krizos21]

12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. If one person in marriage is believer and second is not, blessings, sanctification is through believer person.

[@batshuayaddah1567]

Some ppl think that if they marry an unbeliever, it will lead to their salvation. If you think that you're just rationalizing.

[@kaylajames3098]

Missionary dating and marriage only leads to heartbreak and if not careful, the believer falling away. Letting the flesh lead.

[@Faithandseekerofchrist]

What they don't realize is that nobody is a project and treating them like a project that can be saved is not real unconditional love. If people believe that they can change someone into being whatever they wanted then they are doing a disservice to that person and to themselves and therefore that relationship is not honest and genuine. We can plant a seed but if we are going to marry them in hopes that they will get saved then that is just a horrible thing to do! People change because they want to and although God can put it in that person's heart to change it has to come from them and nobody can make that decision for them except for them. Unequally yoked relationships are just really bad and even Christians can be unequally yoked if they both have different views about Christianity. There are some things that can be worked out but then there are others that just cannot be worked out and you got to figure out what you can and cannot work with before getting getting married to that person.

[@notgonnalie1846]

That sounds more like a pseudo-Christian who does exactly what he wants to do, but tries to maintain his 'Christian' image towards those around him (and perhaps also himself) with one of the most hypocritical and dishonest excuses he can think of.

[@aaronstately]

Maybe... but you get married for salvation because your heart burns with desire, its so you dont sin. You do it for the sex so you are condoned by God. God said nothing about religion or opinons as to man a woman being with each other.

[@williamacuff7707]

Opportunity to witness! But must be strong in faith; Jesus wisdom, why date at all? If it's your calling to marry, you'll know it's her or him by the measure of the Spirit in us!

[@aaronstately]

yep... Matt just wants to preach to the choir and isolate himself off... when Jesus asks the opossite.

[@williamacuff7707]

@aaronstately somebody is needing what he's saying!

[@williamacuff7707]

I learned something reading Proverbs years ago, faith come in steps as we can obtain it being obedient and faithful! It's like preaching old testament to believers already, we don't need it but then not come yet does!

[@Psalm1188]

Being unequally yoked is not a good thing. Been there and done that.

[@aaronstately]

But that dostn mean you cant get married. which Matt was trying to make out was the law, but it is not. God Made woman for man. there is no rules on who you marry. as long as they are a virgin / divorced by adulatory or a widow. their religion has no bearing

[@GGB-yl5rc]

Spot on.

[@DeniseThomson-y5p]

@@GGB-yl5rc yes Arthur is right I am unequally yoked , divorce is not an option.

[@thatomofolo452]

😮

[@DeniseThomson-y5p]

@@thatomofolo452 what is your emoji for and too whom ?

[@StonyArk01]

This is a good start to a topic unpopular and misunderstood in the church. This topic is misunderstood because the majority of churches still have pastors believe there are pure Christian woman out there. Which ofc is not true I challenge you to talk about the modern Christian woman. Are we to compromise with the 90% of Christian women who own onlyfans accounts, had 10+ partners, and are lovers kf this world? I would rather date a non Christian pure woman than a Christian onlyfans woman😊

[@aaronstately]

well they are out there., but they have been corrupted many. Matt dosnt knwo what he is talking about. you can marry a non christian. Just becareful you done become homicidal.

[@AbeVsTheWorld]

The hardest part for me is I find secular women more attractive because they have personality. Yet, I can't date nor marry them because I can't be unequally yoked. So I feel trapped.

[@phyllischaffin4052]

No. It is not okay. When I was young and foolish, I dated non-Christians and it always caused problems.

[@mlynnartchannel3409]

Agree 💯

[@amac7097]

Matt, This video made me think of another topic, quite close to this one, which I'd be interested to see a video about from you. It's the topic of the requirements for the wives of deacons in 1 Timothy 3:11. A disagreement about that issue arose in my church about a year and a half ago, when there was an election of deacons and one of the three men elected has a wife who doesn't come to the church. Some of us asked the elders about this and we were given virtually no information. As far as we could tell, we don’t think the wife goes to any church or is a very nominal Christian at most (i.e. not actually a Christian). For clarification, the man had been married for many years before he professed faith. It also so happens that he is related to the pastor, as also are two of the three elders. He ended up not becoming a deacon for another reason. Those of us who questioned how he could become a deacon if his wife wasn't a Christian were very unhappy with how the issue was handled, with things like the pastor attacking us from the pulpit happening. This is why I'd be fascinated to hear your views on the topic, thanks.

[@danastalyn]

If I may be part of the conversation, I just want to ask this, are you saying that the interpretation of 1 Timothy 3:11 is ' the requirements for the wives of deacons'? I always heard and interpreted it as the mandate for women deacons, not wives of deacons. And deacons were designated servers in the Church (Acts 6), so a wife of a deacon is not a deacon unless she is ordained to be one.

[@amac7097]

@danastalyn Thanks for your reply. When I looked into this matter, I learnt that there has been debate for centuries as to whether that verse refers to the wives of deacons or to deaconesses, which continues to this day. My church only has male deacons, so we would interpret the verse as being about deacons' wives. I don't want to get into that debate here. However, whether the verse is about deacons' wives or deaconesses, it does clearly teach that the requirements in either case are for such a woman to be a Christian and one who is spiritually mature. For those who interpret it as being about deacons' wives, it's difficult to see how a man whose wife isn't a Christian can be a deacon or, in fact, hold any office in the church - unless he is related to the pastor and the latter wants such a man to hold office, in which case he and the elders just find some way of getting round the obstacle presented by this verse.

[@danastalyn]

@ ahh I see. Thank you for taking the time to explain ~ then it really is a matter of Church doctrine. I hope it can be resolved peacefully :) (and now I also would like to see a video about this)

[@carolineeccel5387]

Find out if he is a born again believer, not just say he is. Date him for at least a year to see if he is growing as a believer. To see his character in season and out. Ask parents and friends if they feel you make a good couple. Yes, make sure you are ready for marriage. Be emotionally, spiritually and financially ready.

[@ChristopherDolby]

Don’t do it

[@DeniseThomson-y5p]

@@ChristopherDolby agree but our Lord would not want me too divorce my husband of 28 years . As a commenter said keep praying for my husband as I do .

[@ChristopherDolby]

@ absolutely- I came to the faith after I got married to a non-believer - the Lord definitely doesn’t want us to divorce our unbelieving spouses. We don’t know if they’ll get saved through us

[@angeladavis6605]

I did it and shouldn’t have! It leads to endless problems and regret.

[@m-channel2350PA]

If you haven't got the most important thing in life in common, what has a couple got in common?

[@m-channel2350PA]

But this "don't become unequally yoked" advice (in 2Corinthians 6) applies to people who are already Christian, and have not already got into the "unequally yoked" partnership. Where both spouses were non-Christians at the time of their marriage, then one of them became Christian after they had got married, 1Corinthians 7 applies. It's good to read that entire chapter in one reading session, because some verses put the other verses into perspective.

[@lionoffireraw]

Yes, I mentioned that in the video.

[@Laststand784]

Another Great video Matt!! Spot on truth Brother✝️

[@shitsugane]

Oh my goodness.

[@Bambi-12345]

A good friend of mine married a non christian man because she was very much in love with him and he was a great person Now he s a christian to! And they are very happy together....so its possible...but maybe not for everyone So I think you should not reject someone immediatly if he s not a chritian? He is also a child of God and can become a christian because of you

[@hermanlindeque4139]

Please explain 1 Cor 7: 12-16

[@lionoffireraw]

If someone is married to an unbeliever, and the unbeliever wants to remain in the marriage, the Christian is not to divorce them. This is referencing once someone is married, not before they married.

[@aaronstately]

You should always get into a relationship because you feel lonely and incomplete... thats the point of a relationship. What other reasons do you need? What about Racheal and Lea? do you warn against the marriage there? Unequally yoked does not mean you cant have a relationship with a non Christian. all it means is you wont share the same burden. This is why its states "they will be saved because of you" Never once does God say marriage is only between 2 Christians. Never. Please cite the bible passage. Let me ask you, can i marry a non virgin or am i committing adultory ?

[@thatomofolo452]

Mom and dad I'm growing now can I date 🤷‍♀️

[@donnasilver940]

It not equally yoked.The only difference from the new testament and the old testament is that Jesus was dead by then.

[@batshuayaddah1567]

Jesus didn't stay dead. He was resurrected and after 40 days, He ascended back to heaven.

[@donnasilver940]

@batshuayaddah1567 After the crucified him I meant .That's when the Fools changed everything and now we live like this.

[@jungleebushcraft]

Well they dont seem to have any problems with that at all...😂

[@williamacuff7707]

Looking for perfect people to marry? You'll only find someone with your same faith? But if their in the faith, born of the Spirit, you?, grow if so, maybe your your mates teacher, or the opposite: only in the Lord we should be in a marriage; but what if we believe but neither has the Holy Spirit yet? It want work at first, maybe one does and the other doesn't? ,but maybe you'll save them! Be wise knowing what the Lord's will is.

[@KatharineShaw-z8u]

The bible doesn't say a believer can't marry an unbeliever unless that person is living like the devil ! The reference to unequally yoked is not about marriage. Some spouses have been saved because of their christian partner. Also unsaved married couples may have one spouse who gets saved later but that's no reason to break up a marriage. Bottom line use wisdom.

[@johnsmit5999]

What does unequally yoked mean if not about marriage?

[@m-channel2350PA]

​@@johnsmit5999 The verse does apply to marriage, but it also applies more widely, to other types of partnership. It could be a business partnership, or a professional partnership, or you could be partners in owning property. I was a partner with my siblings in owning some real estate together. They were not Christians. It went horribly wrong, and getting out of that partnership with them was difficult, painful and very costly.

[@leonaj.5835]

@@johnsmit5999 Associating with (any) person or people with different values & beliefs. My father, a Christian, had business partnerships with non-Christians. It only led in betrayal & financial losses on our side which we're still feeling the consequences. My dad thought it would lead his non-Christian friends to Christ by partnering with them, but their spouses had their own influences on them in business. A wife didn't like that her husband was partnered with a Christian & invited her husband & adult children to bible studies (since if they converted, she would have to give up her business- a brothel & a bar). She then did things to destroy my dad & his friends' business. Either a Christian would compromise on many things in order to keep the "peace" & maintain friendships with non-Christian friends & family members, or you'll make enemies because you stand on your principles and convictions. Just remember, you're not the only one who would suffer if you decide to do the same thing my dad did. Your family will also suffer in more ways than one.

[@johnsmit5999]

@@m-channel2350PA Thank you for your reply! I am glad you got out of that unequally yoked business partnership. 👏That would be especially hard with family.

[@m-channel2350PA]

@@johnsmit5999 One of the most painful things about it was how it completely split the rest of family (who were not even involved in the specific issue which convinced me that the property-owning partnership was unsustainable, and something i should never have gotten into in the first place). Some relatives took my side, some relatives took the other side. Some relatives were not told the full facts of the specific issue. (It was about something which was not illegal, but was against my Christian values, so i couldn't be involved on moral grounds. My non-Christian partners didn't see it that way, because a proposed activity wasn't illegal). Some of us did not speak to each other for a few years (except through lawyers). Thank God we settled out of court. I made a net financial loss out of being involved in our partnership, and even had to pay the legal fees (modest, but that's not the point) to split it up. Never again! And never think that family members won't shaft other family members, because they will, if they're angry enough. God did see me through, and has always provided for my needs, at that time, and during the years since. And i know in the resurrection life, i will have no regrets. Our time on earth is so short, compared to eternity.