Is It Time to Control Your Impulsive Behavior?

[@CHrisPetE056]

As an overweight child and adult…my home dynamics was my mom offering me food and snacks and my dad saying should you have seconds and should you be eating that? I came from an era of eat the food on your plate so I did. But …in the evenings my mom would say who want popcorn, who wants bacon? Oh goodness I always did. It continued with my dad even after I got married. He would call with a new diet things he read about. A new drug that’s out that they were offering to buy 😮. I ate my emotions and I still do. But my husband loves me and although my parents have passed away I still hear the judgement. I think I always will. This daughter needs support and all the things Dr D said. She’s not broken. She’s sad. ❤❤❤❤

[@ms.emotions]

I’m sorry. I struggle with food too and loving myself. You’re enough and deserve to be happy. ❤

[@brooke9847]

That poor teenager having her mom analyze her diet. I realize her mom has good intentions but she is doing way more harm to her. Breaks my heart.

[@tinam761]

She is destroying her soul. That poor girl has zero peace or acceptance in her life.

[@yunakitten5417]

I've had a mom like this. I'm 35 and still struggling with food and weight... I had to ask my mom to never talk about my body again. Which she still slips about lol I'm comfortable with myself now though but this reminded me of my own childhood...

[@NatalieF-un5vb]

I haven't gotten to that story yet, but I'm wondering if the daughter is actually asking for help, or if mom is just needling her until she just says "sure". My parents did this and I was actually under weight at the time, it can just be an obsession for unhealed people

[@dominikawiercinski2783]

I had a mom like that. She would pull the food out of my hand when I was young and 51 and just recently got my eating disorder under control …so I hope

[@John-du2mq]

You aren't supposed to be comfortable with a weight struggle. Dr John even said that is just how it manifests but the problem is you're seeking love externally and not getting it. So that problem needs to be solved.

[@amypeterson1969]

To Jason, the 1st caller: when you uttered the words “I just needed another man to tell me I was on the right path “ is the biggest BINGO moment with my own relationship with my mother. Thank you for being vulnerable and brave enough to say this out loud. As I claw myself out of the hole I’ve been in, I will remember your story & the advice given. I’m praying for you as well, that as you grow, that Jesus reveals His perfect plan for your life, even if it is minute by minute. Thank you again; your story touched me

[@whn3344]

Me too- I broke when he said that 😭 such an inspiration. Praying / rooting for you brother. ❤

[@blah7694]

Man, that was a highlight for me too

[@sarahmarginson7006]

Caller 1 good lad you keep swimming up river believe in yourself sx

[@annemarie3811]

Get that kid’s thyroid checked. I hated myself from about age 10 through 23 and I had Hashimotos the whole time. That didn’t show up on the normal TSH test and it’s even more common now; it’s autoimmune and can be triggered by environmental endocrine disrupters. 100 pounds is a lot. All the psychological things- absolutely, but don’t miss something so easy to solve.

[@maiaheiss2991]

I was thinking the same thing. Need to check if there is a physical health problem. Dr. D doesn’t miss this with other issues. Hope that family hears this advice.

[@YY-ei1gm]

Jason!!! I feel you brother!! Wow your call really meant so much to me and I feel your pain and your situation, thank you for calling in I really was helped by your call

[@snow999]

Oh that thirteen year old girl. I have fought my whole life to not feel worthless if I’m not thin. It’s so heartbreaking. I pray she can find peace.

[@theFIRMAMENTalist]

Well I’m the opposite, I CANT GAIN WEIGHT AND ITS TERRIFYING. I felt invisible my entire childhood and not like a woman my entire adulthood up to this point. I shouldn’t be this thin. Something is wrong with me, and I don’t know what it is. I’m scared I’m going to die from being too skinny, and I’m not trying to, I WANT TO EAT REAL FOOD AND BE NORMAL.

[@mystiquevening]

My 10 siblings and I were heavily physically abused my whole childhood. We were straight A type kids, teachers and adults would compliment our parents on how amazing our behavior was all throughout my life. We were proud of it, but we did it because the punishments were so intense that was how we won for a moment and one way we stayed safe. As adults we all do very well on paper, we’re hardworking and kind to other people and know how to socialize. But we are extremely traumatized. We go in another room and hyperventilate and break down and the flashbacks keep us up at night and the anxiety is constant, the shame ingrained. But at least, the few and far between visits we have with one another we have one another to feel like someone understands. Someone KNOWS what happened. And our parents will deny it until they die, but we all know and our bodies remember.

[@XgreyboyX88]

I’m so sorry.😢

[@melissazabower339]

I am sorrowful that this has happened to you. I'm on the path of healing from childhood abuse, and I pray you and your siblings can find the healing you deserve. As Dr D says, "You are worth being well!"

[@ZZhorses]

Oh my Jason sounds precious. He’s on the right track

[@karenhultgren7810]

Really related to second caller. I was that 13 year old girl. I still struggle with weight. I wish I and my family had the tools to help me back then. They tried but did not know to help. They did not understand me and I could not explain. I was such a sad kid. Really appreciate Dr John’s words. Feels so true and provides great insight.

[@joanlovelace7338]

For me as a Christian women who stuffed lifes trials down so deeply that at 82 now i just started facing my demons 4 years ago through a christian based Psychologist and my new found church. My minister found my psychologist and we clicked and she helped. Best thing i could do for me and i deserved it....

[@analozada9475]

Love how Dr. D called out the second caller. I detest when religious people use religion to justify their dysfunctional behavior and to not get professional help. I hope that lady and her whole family get counseling.

[@theFIRMAMENTalist]

This is my life. I am almost 40, and have just started this journey of undoing all the damage that started in my childhood and careened through my teenage and early twenties and survived late twenties and thirties and now I’m just about dead from chasing a ghost I can’t get to and I realize that I have just found ways to cope, instead of getting to the cause. It ironically started to happen (this getting well thing I’m doing now) when I sat down and started reading a book for myself, that had been used to hurt me my whole life. It’s not the way the book reads, or what it says, because it actually is GOOD, it’s what horrible people do with their ideas of “religion” that makes things bad. Reading scripture has actually helped heal the parts of my soul that nothing else has, and it continues to breathe life into me. I don’t like religion but I love my Abba in Heaven and I know he loves me, I read it on the pages every day. I have learned more about My Father on my own, than sitting in abuse and trauma and humiliation and sweeping it under the rug of “Christianity” I was brought up under.

[@elizabethmalone6379]

Brought to tears by the first person!! 😢😢😢

[@tselimohapibusuma7069]

God bless him ❤

[@sarahcouture24]

Oh wow! I wish my parents could've heard what you just said about one kid gets straight As and gets college paid for, the other sets something on fire and gets put in jail. Both kids are asking mom and dad the same question, "Do you love me?" Wow!........I wish the whole world could've heard that. My sister, although equally traumatized probably, cried in class because she got a B! I didn't start fires per se, but I burned through my teenage years in other destructive ways. Then they sent me away to a behavior modification program and abandoned me to Hell. Same question, different behaviors... Different responses... One answers the question "yes, as long as you..." The other response "No, you are unlovable and deserve to be punished." Or "you are unacceptable and need to change in order for me to love you."

[@tselimohapibusuma7069]

I wish Jason so much of the very best. When he said "I just need another man to tell me I'm on the right track", I couldn't stop the tears. He sounds so sincere, and seems like someone who is trying to break some deeply ingrained cycles. I am so proud of him! You've got this Jason ❤

[@freyjastravelchariot3343]

When I dated my one ex (who is still a long distance friend) he did not care about my weight. He never mentioned it. Ever. I lost weight naturally because I didn't feel the pressure to perform in a certain way. Fast forward to my last ex (who I have cut off contact with) who was constantly talking about weight and exercise and mostly concentrated on mine rather than his own... I gained 80lbs (not his fault) and was unable to get it back off like I had before because of his constant attack and disdain of my body (his verbal abuse was definitely his fault). Fast forward to now. I am with another guy who does not give af about my weight. Want to take a guess what is happening... if you guessed I am losing weight... congrats. You get a cookie 🍪 🤣 Here is the problem... and I realize this is not mentally healthy... but when the ones I love talk about diet & exercise non-stop and shame me (especially if they also are not fit), it actually makes it so that I will never lose weight. Worry about yourself. Provide good examples. Love unconditionally or leave the person alone if you are incapable of doing so.

[@karenhultgren7810]

Sending support to the first caller. Great start to a new life. Sending you prayers of strength. So proud of you being a good Dad to your kids. Hang in there!

[@roosplans]

The caller mom with the teenager girl that's struggling with weight. I highly doubt she's gana go to a counselor. You can tell by her saying she doesn't believe in that stuff and won't go.. Too bad for her daughter.. Hope her daughter heals from her family..

[@katelyn6039]

I grew up SO self conscious about my weight and was constantly comparing myself to my mom and sister. It started at 9, the same age this mom started shaming her daughter. It was a constant spiral until a few years ago when i decided to lose weight for myself, not for anyone else. I STILL struggle with my relationship with food and exercise and body image. I’m pregnant and have a hard time eating enough without feeling guilty. Now that I’m older, I realize food was my coping mechanism for anxiety. Mental health was never discussed when I was a kid. There’s absolutely something deeper going on with this poor girl.

[@annemarie3811]

It’s too late for this year, but I’ve solved holiday weight. Every October I diet hard and lose about 10 pounds, then I don’t worry about it and end up around normal by new years. Bonus- I look super nice for thanksgiving pictures. October is such an easy month to diet; summer parties are over and holiday parties haven’t started. It means I have to skip Halloween candy in the lead up, but I end the diet on October 31 so I get one day of candy corn free for all. 😁 I only started having holiday weight gain after I moved up north and it’s SO much harder to lose after the fact. October diet has been a game changer going on ten years.

[@nikkita1688]

I love it! But, your body is just trying to keep you alive in the North during winter! 😂

[@wmluna381]

​@@nikkita1688I always say I put on weight for the winter like a bear. 😄

[@jeannieneuser5316]

That teenager's mom... Doesn't like her daughter, because she reminds the woman of herself at that awkward, painful age. Also, from the history the mom gave, I would guess that the woman grew up in her family of origin, where the girls/women were always the punching bags for the men, that if they weren't making fun of her weight, then it would have been something else. That females were second-class citizens in that "Christian household" where "we just solved it in the house" by shoving all the issues down and never talking about any of them. It struck me that, there were a few 'a-ha moments' in the convo with Dr. John, but in the whole of the conversation, I never heard any genuine shock/surprise/compassion/horror in that woman's voice... Just her best impersonation of a Valley girl. She doesn't like herself, and she certainly doesn't like her daughter. Listen to her praise her sons because they look right/do right. To anyone who says I'm reading in too much... Maybe. 🤷 But everything here sure smells like the household which I grew up in, which was all of those things.

[@kita3256]

Bingo.

[@maiaheiss2991]

Yup

[@maiaheiss2991]

But also I think this woman wouldn’t like her daughter if she was “succeeding” in the ways that she always believed he was not as a child, she would be jealous. Either way the daughter is going to be a mirror for the shame the mother has always felt about herself. I hope they can break the cycle.

[@theFIRMAMENTalist]

You and I must have been cut from the same cloth. I also was raised in a “Christian” household that “handled everything in house” And I really want to tell them all how much they broke me

[@serenityhomemaking]

Only a few minutes into the mom caller and I can feel the toxicity. I feel so sad for her daughter.

[@jamiesonmelnyk]

Whoever did that reverb around 7:20 gets an extra Christmas bonus.

[@robertmcneely5202]

Dr. Is on point this episode.

[@Brittany138]

Good job Jason!

[@ChaiLatte13]

That mom is going to totally screw up her daughter. Yes let her do whatever she wants to do. Don't put YOUR orthorexia, exercise and dieting obsession on your daughter. No lady you are not okay and don't have it together. You are now projecting that to your daughter.

[@JayBell-j5v]

She going to be on 600 life

[@Cosmicvzn]

I eat heavy breakfast and lunch and a light dinner at 5 or 6 then its fasting till the next day

[@3roachkidsdhe]

I really like this Jason!!

[@hansonallie]

Just gonna say it; sounds a bit my home growing up. I struggled w/ my weight a bit, & while my parents’ input didn’t always make me feel all wine n’ roses; I do think their unwillingness to coddle & pander to me is probably the main reason why I’m not 3 bill at this point 😂😅

[@panther.city.roller150]

They’re all birds. The golden rings are birds. Every item in the song is a type of bird

[@wmluna381]

Aaaaah...5 decades alive and I didn't know that. 👍

[@Surveilancepredators]

I have great impulses of loving myself.

[@JusttRaquel]

Poor kid her mom doesnt seem to realize she is behaving the same way her dad behaved with her.

[@kita3256]

Delony is amazing. Never thought he’d be the guy with so many tattoos. Not a fan of how tattoos look on anyone, not my thing, but I love how his tattoos have a deep significance.

[@Aus10Ham]

What does having a tattoo have to do with the type of person he is?

[@maiaheiss2991]

@@Aus10Hambut don’t they have something to do with the type of person he is? Doesn’t it take a certain kind of person to get a tattoo and a certain kind of person to get a lot of tattoos and a certain kind of person to get no tattoos?

[@kita3256]

@@Aus10Ham never said anything about tattoos making him a bad or worse person. Just sharing my thoughts on tattoos.

[@colmwhateveryoulike3240]

Re: weight gain during holidays, I wonder how much of this is that we no longer combine feasts with fasting. In Christian tradition, it used to be (and still is in non-Westernised denomenations) that Christmas and Easter were celebrations prepared for by a long period of prayer and fasting according to a rule where food was kept to a minimum and meat, eggs, and dairy were off limits. Fish and oil and wine were sometimes allowed. And every wednesday and friday were fast days too. Half the year was fasting. Combined with a healthy amount of exercise to avoid muscle loss and fat gain, this wouldn't result in poorer health. So it seems like we've gradually increased the feasting and sidelined the fasting side of the equation.

[@pwstroud]

My Dad this to me to me for years and it ruined my self esteem as an adult

[@lindsaydeviveiros5533]

Im sorry but Amy is 100% downplaying how much she actually torments her daughter about her weight and eating habits. That poor girl will most likely develop an eating disorder in the near future. Her mother is going to drive her insane until she decides it’s easier to starve herself and make herself throw up than continue being treated like crap.

[@theFIRMAMENTalist]

The girl will do what I did. She will run away to the first dirtbag that says she’s pretty and he loves her. She will spend most of her life trying to fix something that she can’t fix with affirmation from a man. It sucks. I hope she gets help for herself and learns how to live a normal life without having to be afraid, and find HERSELF, and love the person in the mirror. To shut out all the voices from people who don’t actually love HER.

[@jennifercollins8910]

Ireland is gorgeous! GO!

[@libertyna933]

So is Scotland !

[@sarahcouture24]

My heart breaks for the food nazis daughter. :( My mom was like that, very judgemental, never felt safe or loved or acceptable. So much shame and self loathing. Self esteem was/is nonexistent. Hey mom, it could be a biological medical issue such as endocrine dysfunction, which isnt under her control. Check for that. Also, she may have been sexually abused. .. Often times weight gain in childhood is the bodys unconscious attempt to protect itself from sexual abuse experiences. Almost all morbidly obese people have SA in their childhood, look it up... Its their way of rendering themselves unattractive or overlooked to stay safe. I know you cant think of any serious trauma that she has gone through, but you might not be aware of something taking place. You need to be a safe person for her to come to with that sort of information. Focus on that.

[@CalebAstle]

This is going to be good!

[@roylenegardner3120]

I hate the taste of stevia, it completely ruins whatever I’m drinking/ eating when it’s in

[@nikstar1313]

That poor girl. That mother.. clueless

[@Cosmicvzn]

Being vegan is a blessing during the holidays, eliminates a lot of options to eat😆

[@kita3256]

Or keto. I was vegan for 3 years and I was a bloated chunky mess. Keto is more sustainable for me and for my PCOS issue.

[@Cosmicvzn]

i eat whole foods, i can assume you were bloated due to processed foods? @@kita3256

[@jimkeeley2581]

We listen to you and play a drinking game where everytime you tell us you have 2 Phd's we down a shot.

[@tessaoshea5697]

Funny, we've taken 80 years to go round the houses and end up back counting calories😂

[@kimhigdon1758]

That teenage girl may have health problems, my daughter all of a sudden gained weight around 3rd grade she had health problems

[@Dishpjl]

Lane’s audio was still hard after you asked him to speak into the phone. Not sure if it was his phone or his loud voice….but I finally turned it off. Sorry

[@nikstar1313]

Straight A emotional responder ninja band 🤚 🥷 😂

[@jonilopez8699]

56:30 This guy was too hard to understand bc he was talking too loud and mumbling into the phone. It was a strain to understand what he was saying. 😕

[@dsmolks1]

No mullet music for Am I the Problem?? 😢 💔

[@IFBBProYeo]

44:19 Fkn Lane? Really!? 🤣

[@Mike_Cosentino]

TGIF

[@elizabethmalone6379]

Scotland and Ireland are two separate countries. You need a n ATLAS for Christmas 🎄........ OH! Canada and America are all the one....... NOT!!! 😅😅😅

[@dovelove1920]

Good Morning 😂

[@brendondowdy5651]

He was completely wrong on the 2nd call in my opinion.

[@arkhamb1234]

Sorry Dr John but not every child's overeating is the result of trauma. Not sure if you are aware but they actually engineer foods nowadays to cause you to eat more, and make you think it tastes better than it does. Aside from that- alot of food tastes great even without those chemicals, and some people naturally eat more than others.

[@flashthecorgi2053]

I’m pretty sure he knows that however, it was the 4 years that caught his attention because all the weight gain started. He was trying to dig and see if something specific happened then that triggered it.

[@brightpage1020]

Questions for Humans Christmas is sold out already but still in stock: - parents / kids - & grandparents / kids + New Year's Edition!!! Phew! Sahweet!

[@RiverPaisley]

Can’t hear the man on that phone.

[@pamkramerkohut3616]

Just one more thing. How about an apology to his wife?

[@grumpysincebirth]

anywhere you want for christmas and you didnt go to the birth or christ? weird christians.

[@cookinsteve9281]

I love how serious John’s thumbnails are; like he’s about to reprimand you for being late to class

[@France149]

Your child is the best compliment regarding your events in life , yousmile huge when mention of family , every show time sounds likely to be a good Dr. Congratulations on ur new child 🚸 too 🎉 I also was begning a just subscribed to your KZbin Auto 🦦 game + show is interesting to see famz mostly the details of new ones like your and ur partnership with child happily wellness and beyond to you and game adventure cast / host bye by

[@mattbarba3993]

I have something I would like to talk to you about on your show it is very dark and embarrassing so I think your format would be great.. I really sincerely need some help with this issue and I hope you reply and let me know if you can help me out thank you so much and I enjoy your videos very much

[@wmluna381]

I believe you have to submit your query by email and/or through his website.